01x03 - Shhh

[bunniefuu]

Previously, on Andi Mack...

Did you tell Buffy and Cyrus?

It's not like you can start a
conversation with, "Oh, hey, guys,

guess what? My sister's my mother
and my mother's my grandmother."

Celia: I'm not your grandmother.

What word should I use, then? Nana?

Celia: No!

Your sister has a secret baby?

Yes.

We are supporting you
in your thrilling new endeavor.

Talking to Jonah Beck.

Hey, friends of Andi!

Hey, Jonah Beck!

You made this?

It's not that hard.

Why can't we talk
about the secret baby?

I'm the secret baby!

Bex is my mother, and my
mother is my grandmother,

and Amber is wearing my bracelet!

I have some questions. Do you?

One or two.

How about "Meemaw"?

What am I, ?

Well, what should I call you, then?

Because you don't wanna
be called "Grandma,"

but you're not my mom anymore.

For now, why don't
you just call me Celia?

I can't call you Celia. That sounds
like we just met at a luncheon.

Eat your muesli before it gets soggy.

Too... late.

Maybe we can just grab a donut
on the way to school?

Thank you, Celia.

(theme song playing)

♪ I'm standing on the edge ♪

♪ And everything I
know-oh-oh is blowin' away ♪

♪ Life is upside down ♪

♪ But anyway it go-oh-ohs,
I'll work it out ♪

♪ Oh oh oh oh oh ♪

♪ Here we go ♪

- ♪ One two three ♪
- ♪ I'm ready for tomorrow ♪

♪ Tomorrow starts today ♪

♪ There ain't a map to follow ♪

♪ But I'm with you all the way ♪

♪ I'm ready for tomorrow ♪

♪ Tomorrow starts today ♪

♪ There ain't a map to follow ♪

♪ But I'm with you all the way ♪

♪ All the way ♪

Morning.

Those look good, can I have one?

- Yeah.
- No.

Oh, right. 'Cause sugar
doesn't set you up

for a successful day.

Come on, Mom, you gotta
have a little fun.

What are you even doing up
in time for breakfast, anyway?

For your information,

today is my first day

at my new... job.

You got a job? Cool.

How?

I grew up in this town. I know people.

I've got connections.

Isn't this, like, so crazy?

I mean, did you ever think

that one day the kid

you used to babysit

would be your boss?

I honestly never did.

So, you said I'm going
to be giving makeovers

and stuff like that?

Totally. I used to be the
one giving makeovers,

but the guy that owns this place
said that I look "too scary"

and "like a vampire."

No, really?

I know, right?

Real talk? I think he just
likes to start drama,

which I hate. That's why I got this.

Oh, uh-huh.
"Down Earth."

Please tell me that's fake.

It is.

So I can show the tattoo artist
where I want the real one to go.

Obvi.

Brittany... wow. You know,
when I used to babysit you,

I had no idea that you were
gonna turn out so, um...

interesting.

Okay, I get called that all the time.

But it's just because people can't
put me in some convenient tub.

Don't you mean box?

No, Bex... tub.

Because I'm a very
multi-fauceted person.

I think that's multi-faceted.

Ohh...

Oh. So, where do you want me to start?

Start anywhere you want.

Only, can you want to start by cleaning

out the masks in the
costume department?

Someone tried them on and got
concealer in all the noses.

Thank you, love you, heart you, xoxo!

I unfroze you.

I was never frozen.

I was only pretending
because I hate PE.

Can I pretend with you?

I'm not really in the mood
to capture anything today.

Things still weird at home?

Two moms, one house, and they
agree zero percent of the time.

- Yikes.
- On the bright side,

I did have my first Toaster Tart
today, so I guess...

Buffy! It's not a tackle sport!

♪ I'm standin' on the outside,
outside lookin' in ♪

♪ While tryin' to play a game
that I know we'll never win ♪

♪ You're tryin' to be someone
you know you'll never be ♪

Thanks!

Nice work, Buffy!

Thanks, Mr. Reznikoff. I'm not
gonna lie, that felt really good.

Oh, suck it up, Ian. Next time,
get outta the way faster.

Come on, guys, be happy for me.

Mr. Rez thinks I'm so fast,

he asked me to join the
track and field relay team.

I'd be happier for you
if I could turn my neck.

You do recognize us out there, right?
Andi and your old friend Cyrus?

Eighty-eight pounds of quivering
jelly, no core strength?

So, I like winning!

When did that become a bad thing?

Yo, Andi!

Oh, I gotta go. My, uh... Bex is here.

Bye, guys.

What are you doing?

I thought I'd surprise you
and come pick you up.

On your motorcycle?

Did Mom... I mean,
did Celia say it was okay?

It's okay to have a little fun.

And let me worry about Celia.

Plus we don't have to tell her.

Atta girl.

Whoa.

Is Mrs. Devlin still around?

She was the librarian when I went here.

Have you seen that old horror
movie that has a librarian

that looks just like her?
It's called "Shhh!".

No. I'm not allowed
to see scary movies.

I wasn't even allowed to see ET

because the kids ride
bikes without helmets.

Well, guess what?
You're watchin' one... tonight.

No way. This is not happening.

I'm not asking your permission.

Besides, it's more funny than scary.

The tagline is, "Revenge
is overdue." Get it?

I will not have horror movies
in this house. Or puns.

Mom, you've never
let loose. The wildest thing

that you've ever done
is your own taxes.

I understand more than you think.

For instance, I raised you.
And we both know

that there are some things

that Andi is not ready to experience.

(crickets chirping)

Okay, Andi...

Mm-wah-ha-ha-ha...

move over, it's time for "Shhh!"

What did Celia say?

There's not much she can say.

Wow, I actually have butterflies.

You said it's more funny
than scary, right?

Yes, exactly! Like an angry
squirrel, or a golf cart accident.

Heh...

Hey, look, if you get really scared,

I'm gonna be right here
with you the whole time.

- Okay?
- Okay.

(horror movie music playing)

(screaming)

(screaming)

(screaming)

Andi?

Jeez, Cyrus, can you
warn me the next time

you wanna just talk
outta the blue like that?

Okay, what's your deal? I don't know
whether to tell you to perk up,

or calm down?

Bex had me watch this super
scary movie last night.

It's about this librarian

that looks just like Mrs. Devlin.

Except when she tells you to "Shhh"...
then, you start to gag,

and then you can't breathe,
and then you die!

But the worst part is,
when they look at you later,

there's nothing in your mouth,
not your teeth, or your tongue,

it's just a big, black, stinking hole!

Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Are you going to be okay?

Yeah, I just have to make
it through this class.

Andi! Andi!

Andi!

Andi Mack, do you want detention?

You got it.

I can't believe I got detention
for sleeping in class.

And now I'm gonna miss my first Jonah.

Game.

Right.

Isn't that what I said?

Cyrus, whatcha doin'?

I'm being a fan.

You know, most people
just say, "Go team."

What about me makes you think
that I'm "most people"?

Good point. See you guys.

Dude, Cyrus, this
spread is wicked sick.

I was going for "classy
casual," but I'll take it.

I think you might be our secret w*apon.

After, Andiman here, right?

Uh, Andi? Isn't there something
you need to tell Jonah?

You have a nice smile.

Detention?

Right! Right. And, I got detention.

You got detention?

Whoa! Andiman's got layers.

Sorry I can't play today.

Yeah. We'll miss you.

Tell old Mrs. Devlin hi for me.

Mrs. Devlin? As in the librarian?

Wh... Wh... Why would I be seeing her?

(laughs) Because... detention's
always in the library, right?

Just between us...
she kinda creeps me out.

Well, i... isn't there
maybe another option,

possibly an abandoned caretaker's shed,

or a windowless room in a basement?

(eerie music playing)

(lights buzzing)

(three loud booms)

Welcome to detention.

Looks like it's just you and me.

(door slamming)

On your mark...
get set... go!

♪ First time, everyone's a winner ♪

♪ Two times, gotta be a sinner ♪

♪ Don't you look like all the
people talkin' at ya so ♪

♪ Ow ♪

♪ Hey Hey ♪

♪ Yeah, I feel so alive ♪

♪ And I can't deny ♪

- (whistle blowing)
- Great practice run, guys.

Buffy, you bested our fastest
leg by over five seconds!

Is that good?

That's a new school record!

You do that well in the meet
later, we're gonna win for sure!

(cheering and clapping)

This calls for a selfie.

Oh... right. And now a group one.

♪ Woooo, woooo ♪

Put it all over your face, okay?

- ♪ Night and day ♪
- ♪ Night and day ♪

♪ Every way I live ♪

- ♪ Woooo ♪
- ♪ Yeah, I always come through ♪

(cheering)

♪ Night and day. Every way I live ♪

Hey, what's all this?

Oh, it's apple cider. We won!

Nice, me, too.

I got a faster time
than any of those slowpokes.

Don't you mean your teammates?

Right... I keep forgetting.

Cyrus, you're awesome!

This is the first game we've had
where no one got heat stroke

or second degree sunburn.

Aw... don't thank me.
Thank my grandma for

teaching me the
importance of sunscreen.

It was my job to keep
an eye on all of her

, you know... questionable moles.

- Cool.
- Ew.

Well, we seriously couldn't
have won without you.

You k*lled it.

Cy-rus! Cy-rus! Cy-rus! Cy-rus!

Cy-rus! Cy-rus! Cy-rus! Cy-rus!

(clock ticking)

(tension-building music)

Ah-choo!

Shhhhhhhh!

(screaming)

If you're going to terrify Andi,

you could've at least
stayed awake for it!

But now, your mistakes are hurting her.

I'm not sure she's safe with you.

She needs a mother that's gonna
teach her how to be brave.

No, she needs a mother
who knows what she's doing.

For the last time, that is
not your decision to make.

I'm her mother!

I was her mother, and she was happy!

No, she wasn't. Were you?

Yes, she was! Andi, tell her.

Wh... Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!

Am I crazy? Because it
sounds like you two

are trying to get me to pick a mother!

Are you kidding me?

I am not going to pick!

No, of course not.
We wouldn't do that.

But if we did...

No way! I'm not the one
who created this mess.

You two are the brain trust that decided

that you should pretend to by my sister,

because you don't want people to
know you're really my grandmother!

Andi...

No! I'm the kid here,
you're the adults.

It's your job to figure this out.

Let me know when you do.

I will be in my room.

She so much smarter than we are.

You can see why
I don't wanna let her go.

You don't have to let her go.

You just have to let me in.

Go, Buffy! Knock 'em dead!

I meant that metaphorically,
don't actually hurt anyone.

Go!

♪ See me comin' from miles around ♪

Come on, Buffy!

♪ You can turn me on
But you can't turn me down ♪

Sorry!

♪ I don't take orders from nobody ♪

♪ 'Cause I'm free ♪

Yes!

Buffy! I can't believe you!

I know, I didn't pass the baton,

because I remembered
what you said, Mr. Rez.

With me on the team, we would win.

And we did!

We didn't win! We were
disqualified, it's a relay.

All of the runners need to participate.

Mr. Rez, I just really wanted to win.

And... I guess I just thought
everyone else would get in my way.

You're talented, Buffy.

But you get in your own way.

Look, you can't win 'em all.

Yes... you can.

It's called a sweep... a no-hitter.

An undefeated season.

There are actual terms
for winning them all.

But winning isn't everything.

Of course it is!

That's why I like sports.

You always know where you stand.

You're the best or you're not.

It's uncomplicated.

Let me just tell you something that
I've learned from my own sport.

Without our teammates,
all we are is discs in the wind.

Cyrus, I know you brought a cooler
to a game of catch and all,

but that does not make you an athlete.

I didn't just bring a cooler.
I brought all kinds of snacks.

Now everyone's callin' me
the protein pre-teen.

No... they're not.

You're right. I just made that up.

Oh, my gosh.

I can't believe
you didn't pass the baton.

Give it up.

Hey.

Hey, you.

What's goin' on?

Andi, look...

Mom saved this.

She saved all of this stuff of mine.

My third grade spelling tests.

Wow... you got all A's.

I wasn't always a bad seed.

Oh, "The Bad Seed,"
now that's a good scary movie,

it's a classic. What am I doing?

This is how I got in trouble
in the first place...

for showing you a scary movie.

She was right.
I shouldn't have done that.

Yes, you should have!

I need to branch out... toughen up!

I should at least be brave
enough to watch a movie

about a psychotic librarian.

Yeah, at least I can help with that.

Holy molar!

Why... did she save this?

Was this... a bathing suit?

Just so you know... I will never
be brave enough to wear this.

Me, neither.

This isn't yours?

It's mine.

Whoa...

Mom!

I wasn't always serving muesli.

(laughs)

I'll take that, thank you.

- You actually wore this.
- Yes, I did.

Once upon a time,
I was known as... "Cece."

Cece?

In fact... that's what you
can call me from now on.

Cece is your grandma name?

Really? You think you can call me
"Grandma" knowing I wore this?

- (both laugh)
- I can't believe that just happened!

You know what I can't believe?

This woman wouldn't let me
go to a party or wear lip gloss.

She won't even let me
eat a Toaster Tart.

I'm gonna have one right now.

Oh, no... Don't! I ran... out.

This picture... why are you hiding it?

Who is this?

Andi...

This is my dad... isn't it?

- Bex: Next, on Andi Mack...
- (theme music playing)

Your mom thing.

You heard.

Can I take a selfie with you?

Yeah... sure.

I guess congratulations
are in order.... Grandma.

(screaming)

Uh, we're gettin' away.
We should get goin'.

I'm trusting you.

Andi, we could have a party!

(dance music playing)

Your parents are here!

Celia: Everybody out!