MAYA: We haven't spent
a lot of time together.
It's just been moments
here and there.
ANNA: ♪ Doo, doo, doo, doo ♪
CHORUS: ♪ Doo, doo, doo, doo ♪
MAYA: You know,
if I'm alone with him,
I can tell him I'm not a slut,
and I'm sorry
that people know about us.
I just gotta get him alone.
CHORUS: ♪ Doo, doo, doo, doo ♪
♪ Doo, doo, doo, doo,
doo, doo, doo, doo ♪
♪ Doo, doo, doo, doo ♪
[mischievous music]
MAYA: I mean, obviously,
he has trouble
expressing his emotions,
so if I'm alone with him,
he can really open up.
He doesn't like people
knowing his business.
♪ ♪
CHORUS: ♪ Doo, doo, doo, doo ♪
♪ Doo, doo, doo, doo ♪
♪ Doo, doo, doo, doo ♪
♪ Bah bah bah bah bah bah bah ♪
♪ Bah bah bah bah
bah bah bah bah ♪
♪ Bah bah bah bah bah bah bah ♪
♪ Bah bah bah bah
bah bah bah bah ♪
[chorus vocalizing]
‐ Buh, buh, buh, buh,
buh, buh, buh, buh...
CHORUS: ♪ Buh buh buh bubby
dub dub dub dubby ♪
[school bell rings]
♪ Buh buh buh bubby
dub dub dub dubby ♪
[dial tone beeping]
CHORUS: ♪ Doo, doo, doo, doo ♪
♪ Doo, doo, doo, doo ♪
♪ Doo doo doo doo ♪
♪ Doo doo doo doo ♪
♪ Buh buh buh bubby
dub dub dub dubby ♪
♪ La‐la la la
la la‐la la la la ♪
♪ La la‐la la la ♪
CHORUS: ♪ Doo doo doo doo ♪
♪ Doo doo doo doo ♪
MAYA: If I was around,
he'd notice me,
and I think the next stop
would be getting him
to ask me to be
his girlfriend,
and then I get my first kiss.
♪ ♪
[overlapping chatter]
MAYA: And if I got
my first kiss,
then he probably
would ask me out.
I'd be his GF. Ha ha.
Oh, my God.
Maybe we'd go to
the same college.
We just need time alone.
MR. BROWN: Hey, TJ, come out.
MAYA: But what if he
forgets about me?
'Cause we haven't spent
a lot of time together.
It's just been moments
here and there.
ANNA: Mai.
‐ Oh.
Hey.
Na...
I think I wanna join wrestling.
What?
[Anna scoffs]
‐ What?
[Bikini k*ll's "Demirep"]
Jett: ♪ I ♪
♪ I am hiding ♪
♪ The you I show to you ♪
♪ Is just a lie ♪
♪ You take what you want ♪
♪ You get what you take ♪
♪ Lie, so high, high, high ♪
‐ Why do you keep looking
over there?
‐ I'm not.
‐ You just‐‐why‐‐you only
wanna join wrestling
'cause Brandt's here.
‐ No, I‐‐stop saying his name
so loud.
He's literally right there.
‐ I just said it‐‐like,
not at all.
‐ I‐‐okay.
Listen to me.
I didn't even know Brandt
was in there.
‐ Okay.
‐ I promise.
‐ Okay.
You were staring right at him,
but...
‐ Yeah, 'cause I'm surprised
that I found him there.
I mean, like, honestly, I have
always wanted to wrestle.
‐ Mai...
‐ What?
‐ Girls wrote "desperate slut"
in my chorus folder.
‐ Listen to me.
I hate girls right now, okay?
I'm over them.
I just like guys, you know?
'Cause guys don't gossip,
they don't talk about stuff
like that, they're not mean.
I just‐‐I just feel like
if we go in there,
we can just try it out.
And if you hate it, then
we don't ever have to go back.
Okay?
Just you, me...
and ten guys.
That's it.
‐ No.
No, Mai. No.
‐ Fine!
Fine.
But I have an inner voice
inside of me
that sounds a lot like
my voice,
and it's telling me
to go in there and wrestle.
And I‐‐I can't ignore it,
so I have to go,
and I'd like you to join
or at least watch
and be a good friend.
MR. BROWN: Stay low, Sam.
Lock your hands.
Slam him!
MAYA: Hey, M‐‐Mr. Brown.
I'd like to join wrestling,
please.
MR. BROWN: Mm‐hmm.
MAYA: Like, join
the wrestling team and stuff.
MR. BROWN:
Your calves get any bigger,
you're gonna fall through
the floor.
BRANDT: Thanks, Coach.
‐ That's not something
we do here.
MAYA: Why, 'cause I'm a girl?
And I'm, like, stronger
than everyone here, probably.
MR. BROWN: Uh, yeah.
You could get seriously hurt.
‐ Well, um, I think it'd be
kind of messed up and illegal
if you didn't let me.
‐ Levels, levels.
‐ And I could probably
report it.
‐ Okay.
Fine.
You can shadow.
Go stand over there and watch.
‐ Okay.
Thanks, Coach.
MR. BROWN: When you come
in here, I want you
ready to wrestle.
‐ Coach is making me shadow.
‐ Dude, switch with me.
‐ Sure.
[Mr. Brown speaking
indistinctly]
‐ Whenever Brandt
touches his balls,
it means he wants a hand job.
‐ Bro, shut up.
MR. BROWN: Focus, focus, focus.
MAYA: Shut up.
So stupid.
‐ Reach in and grab
all your rage inside
and let it out.
This is the place to do it,
not on your mom,
not on your date.
Handle it like a man.
[voice fading]
Destroy something privately,
or, better yet, on a team.
[unsettling music]
♪ ♪
Nice!
♪ ♪
[Anna grunts]
MR. BROWN: Drive it! Drive it!
Drive it! Drive it! Drive it!
Nice, Zablowski.
Good job.
‐ [exhales deeply]
‐ That was dope.
‐ Thanks.
MAYA: Sam cock‐block‐‐
so annoying.
Mr. Brown, I'm, like,
ready to wrestle.
I've learned a lot
from shadowing.
‐ Fine.
TJ, partner up with Maya.
She says she's ready
to wrestle.
‐ Coach, I don't want to.
‐ Come on, let's go.
‐ Okay.
[whistle blows]
Now? Okay.
[laughs] Stupid.
I wasn't ready.
Like, what the hell?
TJ: Coach, can we stop?
[Maya sighs] I feel weird.
‐ Fine, if he doesn't
wanna wrestle,
I'll wrestle anybody else,
honestly.
Anybody. Just raise your hand.
Like, I'm ready to frickin' go.
Brandt, whatever‐‐
if you want to.
[muttering under breath]
[crowd cheering]
ANNOUNCER: Making her way
to the ring,
Trish Stratus!
‐ Why don't you just, like,
talk to him, then?
‐ 'Cause I don't wanna be like,
"Hey, I'm Terra Newback.
"Let me just talk to you
for a long time
while you're bored as hell,
Brandt."
Like...I'm not
freakin' desperate.
I just want him to know
I'm hanging around and stuff.
‐ Maya, I don't wanna hear
about Brandt anymore.
‐ Okay, well, that's fine
'cause I'm not talking to you.
I'm talking to Andy.
‐ Who's that?
SHUJI: You serious?
You've never heard of
Trish Stratus?
‐ [quietly]
Trish Stratus.
‐ Her muscles are gross.
‐ Yeah.
No, she's slutty.
‐ Yeah.
‐ Yo, Trish is hot.
She's got my mad respect.
[crowd noise]
‐ Hmm.
Okay.
ANDY: Oh, sh*t!
‐ Okay, I can do that...easily.
‐ No, you can't, dummy.
‐ Yes, I can!
Are you frickin' serious?
Look at me.
‐ Maya, no offense but, like,
this B could take you.
‐ [scoffs]
Doubt that.
‐ Okay, that's what TJ Mulligan
thought
before I freakin'
kicked his ass.
Did you see that?
ANNA: Oh, really?
Oh, what way am I gonna go,
bitch?
MAYA: Or, what, bitch?
Come at me, bitch.
‐ Your dad can't eat anything.
‐ Guys, move.
You're blocking the TV.
‐ He wants to destroy your ass.
MAYA: Oh, yeah?
ANNA: Your dad
eats soggy potatoes.
‐ And it makes him fart
on your face, Anna!
ANNA: You're going down.
Put your money
where your mouth is.
MAYA: I'm putting my butt
on your face.
ANNA: You're cheating.
You cannot do that.
‐ Hey, yo, go, get her, Maya.
ANNA: Stop it.
MAYA: You're gonna die,
and I'm gonna be alive.
SHUJI: You're so frickin' weak,
Maya.
ANNA: No!
MAYA: who's weak now, bitch?
I won.
♪ ♪
ANNA: Mom.
The Anna‐sthetizer
wants to put you to sleep.
[grunts] KATHY: Aah!
Oh, sorry.
But I just‐‐it's like that,
we were just wrestling,
and it was like,
"I'm the Anna‐ihilator."
Ooh. KATHY: Anna.
I have a migraine from doing
energy work all day.
‐ Well, I've been wrestling
all day.
Like, don't make me flip you.
‐ Could you take that
gross pillow to your dad?
He left it on my side
of the house.
‐ Yeah, that's fine,
just bring it to his room.
KATHY: And quietly, please.
‐ Okay.
‐ I can't take it.
ANNA: Dad?
‐ [shushing]
ANNA: Dad? CURTIS: Mm‐hmm.
‐ Um, do we have channel 151?
'Cause I want
my Monday Nights Raw.
‐ What?
ANNA: Raw.
I want my Monday Nights Raw.
CURTIS: I‐‐I‐‐I think we get,
like, to channel one...
hey, what's that pillow
doing in here?
‐ Mom just said to bring it
to you
because you left it on
her side of the house.
‐ I told her already;
she can take it to the dump.
But you know your mother.
I mean, she does
whatever she wants,
whenever she wants.
Don't leave the pillow.
I don't want it.
‐ Okay.
CURTIS: I just never pictured
your mom and I's marriage
going quite this way, you know.
I've never been more in love
with anybody but her
my whole life.
‐ Oh, yeah?
CURTIS:
Yet you can still end up
sort of hating people anyway.
You know, if I'm the one that
ends up having to move out‐‐
even if I can only afford
an apartment‐‐
I'm not gonna resent it.
I just want you and your mom
to be happy.
Life can pummel you down,
sweetie.
I hope you learn
how to pummel back.
‐ Take me now.
The Anna‐ihilator!
[imitating shouting]
[growls] [grunts]
[crowd cheering]
[mutters indistinctly]
[murmuring] Get up...get up!
[grunting]
Ooh! Ah!
You want some of this?
[grunts]
ALEX: 'Sup?
[crowd continues cheering]
You're hot and strong.
You got my mad respect.
[cheering stops]
GABE: So my mom took me
to Kinko's...
latest installment of Weasels.
Which one do you think
is better?
I think glossy really
makes it pop, you know?
‐ Cool.
‐ Hello?
Hey, dude.
I was up until, like,
10:00 doing this.
Glossy or matte?
‐ No, either's great.
Okay? Yo, hey.
Ha. BRANDT: Ha.
What's up, Zablowski?
SAM: Hey.
I'll see you later.
Yo, Brandt, wait up!
[background chatter]
‐ Glossy it is, then.
[school bell rings]
[Maya and Anna singing]
♪ Mr. Brown ♪
ANNA: Mr. Brown.
‐ [laughing]
Mr. Brown.
‐ I just thought
practice yesterday
was really inspiring.
‐ Yeah.
‐ Your team is well‐oiled,
and I was just
honing in my skills
just about all night
last night.
And...do you wanna see them?
You don't have to.
[Mr. Brown inhales]
But I'll just show you.
‐ Anna!
‐ And then you take it down
to Brown Town.
‐ Stop.
‐ Well, Maya,
I guess you have someone
to fart around with
at practice,
so that's something.
‐ Well, um, I would love that,
except I already wrestled her
a bunch.
I don't really
feel like that's
challenging enough for me.
I was just thinking
I could maybe
take on Brandt at the mock meet
on Friday or whatever.
‐ Well, I already b*at her
a bunch of times.
MAYA: Well‐‐
‐ Brandt's the...
best wrestler in school.
Plus, you're different
weight classes.
So... ANNA: Oh, that's okay.
Maya and I can just partner up.
[stomps]
‐ [sighs]
Um...
just out of curiosity;
how much weight
do I have to gain
to be in Brandt's class?
‐ You'd have to gain at least
6 to 12 pounds in a week,
which is unhealthy at your age
and could mess you up.
So please don't try it.
‐ We won't.
ANNA: We won't.
‐ We won't.
[White Zombie's
"More Human than Human"]
MAYA: You're doing it for me,
but you're doing it
for yourself too.
‐ Clear, Maya, go!
Clear, Maya, go!
Yeah, Mai. You're bulking.
And you can't stop.
[Maya grunting]
‐ [yells]
♪ ♪
‐ This is what it takes.
It's better with a little bit
extra...
ZOMBIE:
♪ Yeah, I am the ripper man ♪
♪ A locomotion mind,
Love, American Style, yeah ♪
♪ I am the nexus one ♪
♪ I want more life, fucker,
I ain't done, yeah ♪
♪ More human than human,
more human than human ♪
♪ More human than human ♪
‐ No, little bitch.
ZOMBIE: ♪ More human ♪
♪ Than human ♪
♪ More human than human ♪
‐ Ha!
ZOMBIE: ♪ More human ♪
‐ Sick.
ZOMBIE: ♪ Than human ♪
♪ More human than human ♪
ANNA:
You guys, I'm slamming down
the mac and cheese.
STUDENT
Can I have a bite of yours?
Um, here's the thing.
If you put peanut butter
on the hard‐boiled egg,
that's the trick.
‐ What‐‐what trick?
How is that a trick?
‐ That is a trick.
You get "yolked."
That's what, um,
Trish Stratus does.
BOY: She's hot.
‐ Yeah, she is hot.
‐ And muscle
weighs more than fat.
‐ [mumbling]
Muscle weighs more than fat.
‐ That's what people
don't realize.
‐ Anyway, bro.
Coach Brown got that new mat.
I'm gonna wrestle yo' ass.
ANNA: So if you're
gaining pounds‐‐lbs‐‐
that's not a bad thing.
‐ Anyway,
I'm gonna go hit the gym.
ANNA: That was so funny
when you did that
the other day.
You gonna eat all your peaches?
Oh, you don't say "bye" now?
Oh, my God, the protein's
going to her fat‐ass head.
I'm just kidding. [laughs]
Take a picture.
It'll last longer, you guys.
Girls are so annoying,
honestly.
Hammer fist!
[laughs]
Nailed him.
[soft music]
♪ ♪
[Maya sighs]
MAYA:
It's like I'm stalking you.
[laughs]
Just kidding. [giggles]
Are you mad at me?
‐ Why'd you join wrestling?
‐ 'Cause I love WW.
‐ [scoffs]
‐ I have for years, seriously.
I'm, like, sorry people know
about our three‐way.
‐ Yeah.
‐ Are you pissed?
‐ Yeah.
‐ Seriously, I'll do anything
I can to make it up to you.
Anything.
‐ Yeah?
Like what?
What?
[door opens]
ANNA: If you take out
the yolk of the egg...
you fill it with peanut butter,
it's truly like Reese's Pieces.
How can you say "no"?
DUSTIN: It tastes like
my dog's ass.
MAYA: Anna!
ANNA: You can't tell
the difference.
ANNA: I was gonna lift
a tenner.
[person wolf‐whistles]
ANNA: Be back soon.
MAYA: Anna. ANNA: Okay.
MAYA: Come on, stop‐‐
ANNA: I don't know why
you keep doing this.
MAYA: Stop talking.
ANNA: You want me
to get jacked or not?
‐ Literally, I was this close
to getting my first kiss
with Brandt.
‐ How was I supposed to
know that?
I didn't know that.
That's amazing, though.
Congratulations.
‐ No. Thank you.
It's fine, it's great.
But it doesn't keep happening
because you keep interrupting.
You keep walking in on us.
Like...
‐ Okay, well, I think that
you should learn to use
a lock on a door if you don't
want people to walk in.
‐ Well, honestly,
I don't wanna creep him out.
So I'm just closing the door,
and I'm not locking it,
'cause I'm not crazy.
I know it's not personal,
but every time I'm alone
with him, you walk in.
And, honestly,
like, Brandt and I‐‐
he doesn't really know it yet,
but, like,
we want time alone together.
'Cause if we don't have
time alone together,
then we're not gonna be able
to get to the point
where I have my first kiss.
ANNA: Okay.
It's just like,
you're like, "Brandt..."
‐ Shh.
‐ No, you're always like,
"Brandt..."
‐ Shh!
‐ It's just like, you're like,
"Brandt, Brandt,
"Brandt, Brandt, Brandt...
‐ Stop. Okay, okay, okay.
‐ "Brandt, Brandt, Brandt."
MAYA: Stop!
‐ And I'm like,
"I can't do it anymore."
‐ Stop!
‐ Brandt!
‐ Stop it, Anna!
ANNA: What?
‐ You're saying his name
so lou‐‐
like, you're crazy, honestly.
‐ Is that your hair?
MAYA: No.
‐ Is that Brandt's locker?
MAYA: No.
‐ Maya.
MAYA: Stop saying his name.
‐ So, you and Maya in here,
alone, huh?
So that‐‐that was like...
[laughs]
‐ She keeps
following me around, man.
‐ Well, you hooked up
with both her and Kone, right?
BRANDT: Barely.
I mean, I don't wanna
get near their big‐ass bushes.
Their pussies smell like fish,
dawg.
I mean,
these fingers are clean.
Can't get that stank on me.
[sniffs]
‐ Big, smelly bush.
[laughter]
DUSTIN: Oh, sh*t.
Anna and Maya are BSBs‐‐
big, smelly bushes.
BRANDT: Bro.
‐ Tuna‐Kone.
[laughter]
‐ Yo, Zablowski,
you're funny, man.
[laughter]
MR. BROWN: Flyweight.
Middleweight. Middleweight.
Middleweight.
[tense music]
♪ ♪
Jesus Christ, Kone.
Middleweight.
What did you do?
‐ [whispering]
Come on.
♪ ♪
‐ Another middleweight.
‐ Really?
Does that mean I get to
wrestle Brandt?
‐ You made weight,
but the pairs are set already.
First round
is you versus Blondie.
Whoever wins gets to wrestle
the winner of, uh,
Brandt and Sam.
[thud]
[whistle blows]
♪ ♪
GABE: Who do you think's
gonna win?
‐ I don't even know‐‐may‐‐
maybe‐‐maybe Sam.
MR. BROWN: Drive it!
‐ Maybe.
MR. BROWN: Use your legs, Sam.
Use your legs.
Nice, Zablowski.
♪ ♪
[Maya grunts]
[groans] That was good.
That was great.
ANNA: [mutters] [Maya panting]
[Anna claps]
♪ ♪
MAYA: Get off.
[grunting]
MAYA: Stop! ANNA: No.
[Maya grunting] ANNA: No.
[both panting]
[Maya grunts] Let me win, Anna.
Come on. ANNA: No.
‐ I need to get to Brandt.
Stop.
‐ No.
[both panting]
[Maya squealing]
ANNA: Oh‐‐ [Maya grunting]
MAYA: I got you. Lookit...
You stay. You stay!
MR. BROWN: She's out.
[both panting]
‐ Good match, BSB.
[laughs]
[ominous music]
‐ Where's Brandt?
‐ Zablowski b*at Brandt.
‐ You ready for this,
Bowl Cut?
‐ Don't call me that.
[whistle blows]
[suspenseful music]
ANNA: Fold him
like a ham sandwich.
♪ ♪
SAM: Is that all you got,
Bowl Cut?
MAYA: Stop calling me that!
SAM: I'm not calling you that.
I'm calling you "Bowl Cut."
MAYA: Stop it!
Freakin' assh*le!
MR. BROWN: Language.
SAM: Is that all you got?
[both grunting]
MAYA: Get off.
You're ruining everything
right now.
I shouldn't even be
wrestling you.
SAM: Well, at least
I didn't have a three‐way
in the closet with Brandt.
‐ Yeah?
You're just jealous
no one would go to
the frickin' closet with you.
[Sam grunts]
ANNA: [shrilly] Whoo‐whoo!
SAM: Whatever, BSB. [grunts]
MAYA: What?
SAM: At least I don't have
a big, hairy bush
that smells like fish.
MAYA: What?
[Sam panting]
‐ I didn't say that.
Brandt and the guys said that.
Come on, fight, let's go.
It's‐‐it's not a big deal.
It's just a‐‐it's just a joke.
Come on, let's go.
‐ No, stop!
‐ It's just a joke.
MR. BROWN: Match?
[Maya crying]
ANNA: Here she is,
star of the party.
There's my little athlete.
‐ Ow.
‐ You win some, you lose some.
‐ Ow, stop it.
‐ Oh, no.
I'm so sorry.
Did I hurt you?
‐ No.
‐ Mai, sorry.
I just thought that's what
our buddies do.
You ok‐‐you okay?
‐ They're, um‐‐
‐ What?
‐ They're calling us
"Big, Smelly Bush"‐‐BSB.
‐ Wait.
What?
[Maya sniffles] Us?
Oh.
[Maya sniffles]
Oh, like,
what is‐‐what is that?
Like‐‐
‐ It's our pussies, Na.
Our pussies. [sniffles]
That's what the guys
have been calling us.
They've been saying
that our vaginas are hairy
and smell like fish.
‐ [whispers] What?
The guys?
MAYA: Yeah.
‐ No, but they're my friends.
‐ Yeah, well,
they aren't anymore.
[object clatters]
‐ You can't trust anyone!
Ow!
‐ [sobs]
Anyone but you.
Our pussies!
[sobs]
ANNA: [whispers] It's okay.
[Maya sniffles]
BOTH: Weasel‐shark.
GABE: Half‐weasel, half‐shark
will k*ll you and your family.
‐ Yo, Zablowski.
SAM: Yo, what up?
TJ: Yo, Sam.
What happened with Maya‐‐
you get a boner?
SAM: I said "BSB" to her,
and I probably shouldn't have
said that.
BRANDT: Hey, Sam, you coming?
SAM: Yeah, I'm coming. Hold up.
BRANDT: Ooh, ooh! SAM: Oh!
[Brandt grunts] [Sam laughs]
‐ Wait.
Did he just...leave?
I thought we were gonna
hang out.
‐ Let's just go.
Wrestling's kind of gay.
ANNA: One, two, three.
Oh, my God. Are you looking?
MAYA: Yeah.
I don't know.
It's kind of weird.
‐ I can't tell if it's, like,
big, but...
can you smell anything?
‐ [sniffs]
Yeah.
Do you?
‐ I think I smell something,
but it might not be that.
I don't know.
'Cause my mom's cooking, so...
‐ I'm gonna try mixing it
with something.
‐ Okay, yeah.
Maybe I have something.
[mist sprays] MAYA: Ow!
‐ Are you okay, Maya?
MAYA: Oh, sh*t.
I think I b*rned it. [exhales]
‐ Be careful with it.
Maybe it doesn't like that.
‐ [exhales deeply]
[spray hisses] [exhales]
[hiss] [exhales]
‐ I only have lip gloss.
‐ It feels like a little...
animal.
Hmm.
Meow. Meow!
Meow!
I need a little catnip.
[snarling]
Fly! [laughs]
Are you still there?
‐ Mm‐hmm.
MAYA: I'm gonna go.
‐ Love you, bye.
MAYA: Bye.
‐ [sniffs]
[quiet music]
♪ ♪
[smacking lips]
MAYA: Meow! Meow!
[snarling]
Fly!
[fart sound]