03x07 - Daria!

[bunniefuu]

They broke into her bedroom.

She burst into song!

The inappropriate alto,
tonight on Sick, Sad World!

I got a big wheel rolling in my heart.

I really don't know what
that's supposed to mean.

It means a Lawndale
morning's going to start.

Put on your pants! We're
seeing more than should be seen.

I'll say!

Today I'll be the perfect
working wife and mother.

Today I'll show my clients
that this man is strong.

But, oh, today's booked
up like every other.

I'll probably tell my clients
that they're right and I am wrong.

But still it's morning in the 'burbs.

It's such a great day,
I wish I could buy it.

I look so good it
makes my eyeballs hurt.

Does this go with this
top? Should I try it?

Oh, put on any skirt or shirt.

You'd even look good wearing dirt.

Thanks!

On this morning in the 'burbs.

Oh me, oh my. A lovely day is dawning.

Oh, what a joy I didn't wake up dead.

So I can go to school and
then resume my yawning,

and get my sleep in class
instead of in my bed.

Morning, Helen.

Morning, Jake.

Hair all right?

Looks kind of fake.

Great! And now my leave I'll take.

- It's off to work I go.
- Bye!

What's the weather like today?

Maybe a hurricane on the way.

But it's such a lovely day.

What does science know?

Oh, that's great. The toast is cold.

What tales of nothing will unfold?

Here on this same old...

This same old...

Morning in the 'burbs!

Oh, my gosh! Look at the Jell-O!

It's jiggling.

Worried about the competition?

Don't you see? It changed into the
school colors... on Pep Rally Day.

There really is a school spirit! Spooky.

Pep Rally Day?

I guess we'd better
make alternate plans.

Hello, Mr. Roof.

Um, as captain of the
team, I want to say,

there are some things more
important than winning.

Yeah, like kicking some damn butt!

All right! We are the
champions, my friends!

- Uh, Kevin?
- I'm the Q.B.!

Excuse me. Everybody, simmer
down. Calm down. Calm down!

That little hurricane advisory has
been upgraded to a hurricane warning!

Are we all going to die?

Not on school property!
You're all to go home.

What about the big game?

Canceled!

No!

Yes! Now, everybody out. Everybody out.

An ordered, quiet exit
is what exiting's about.

You will not scream or howl... or shout!

Everybody out, everybody out.

But what if, what if,
what if the town blew away?

Where would the football players play?

Where would we go to shop all day?

Would we still get three
months off with pay?

If the town blew away?

Nowhere isn't anywhere I want to live.

Nowhere makes Lawndale look all right.

Nowhere is an address
that's very hard to give.

When you ask for a ride
home on Friday night.

I hope you're not too sad
that you don't get to play.

I am, but I think the weather's fine.

"X-Files" says this is just the
sneaky way the authorities create,

like, a natural disaster thing to cover
up the real reason the game's canceled.

I mean, big game, big
storm... coincidence?

Well, we're not falling for their line!

Come on, Kevvy, don't be mad.

I've got a way to make you glad.

We'll go up to some other place.

Hey, that's cool, babe.
Let's go suck face!

Hey, look at what the
newspaper is saying.

What?

It says a great big storm is on the way.

Cool.

The roof's not really
where we should be staying.

Why?

'Cause this big-ass
storm is happening today.

Hey, what if the town blew away?

My sister would have nowhere to stay.

The mall would be gone, and that's okay.

Down on your knees and begin to
pray that the town blows away.

Let's head down.

I want to live to see what this place
looks like after it's obliterated.

You know, being a post-apocalyptic
town is going to be cool.

Other towns will be scared of us.

I'm sure they already are.

Oh, look, a hurricane of passion.

Hi!

I hate to interrupt, but the newspaper
says there's a big storm coming.

You might want to take your
wholesome sports activities indoors.

Wait, the newspaper said that? Oh, man!

I thought Ms. Li was just covering up.

Yeah, she was messing with our minds.

Why doesn't that add up for me?

Ladies first.

No...!

Great. Now we're not only going to die,

the headline's going to read
"Quarterback and others perish."

I always knew that I
would die in Nowheresville.

But I didn't think I'd
die there quite so soon.

Hey, this is like that video,
"When Scary Storms k*ll!"

Will being dead wreck my afternoon?

If the town blows away?

Um, Helen, I was just wondering.

If there isn't anything
more to do, you know,

I thought maybe I could go home
and say good-bye to my loved ones.

Oh, I suppose I can
send this fax myself.

Thank you!

Kiss the kids good-bye for
me... I mean, good night. Damn!

Helen! What are you doing here?!
There's a hurricane coming!

I know I never said it before, but...

Helen... oh, Helen...
you're so swell... en.

Hot damn! I'll e-mail you.

Don't worry about me.

I've just got a few things to wrap up and
then I'll be... where's my appointment book?

This one doesn't make so much noise.

But Quinn, aren't you afraid that you
look like a Hefty bag... not that you do.

No way.

Sorry, ladies, the store's
closing. The hurricane.

Let's get out of here while
there's still time to walk.

Running for your life is so geeky.

Oh, no. Wind... hair.

Come on, Quinn.

We'll come back tomorrow and find a color
that doesn't make you look so... sick.

We'll find a better color tomorrow?!

Don't they know I can't leave yet?

Why don't they know?

It's easy to see that I can't
go till I'm dressed perfectly?

Why don't they guess?
It's more than a quirk.

I've got to confess
I'm addicted to work.

A shrink would have a
field day with my head.

If he listened to the
sentence I just said.

Obsessive kids and moms
just might be ticking bombs.

So I'll keep it to myself instead.

It doesn't matter
really what I do or wear.

I could do a half-assed
job and nobody would care.

But wowing colleagues and friends
is the greatest of life's ends.

So when life ends at least
it ends with style and flair!

Coming in second wouldn't be the worst.

As long as no one else was first.

Oh, don't they know?

Tell them it's so.

Don't they know I can't leave yet?

Okay, Mom, I'm coming home.
I'll be the one in the Hefty bag.

Hello. You've reached the Morgendorffer
residence. No one's home right now.

What do you mean, no
one's home right now?!

Daria, Quinn? Please get home
and answer the damn phone!

I got a foot on the gas
and a hammer in my head

thinking 'bout my girls and
the ways they might be dead.

They should be safe at home
and warm and by the fire

instead of warming up to
sing in that heavenly choir.

Gah, gah, damn it!

Learn to drive, jerk!

Gah, gah, damn it!

Glad you got your horn to work!

Gah, gah, damn it!

Stay in your lane!

There's a hurricane coming
and I'm going insane!

Quit swearing like a drunkard
and get right with the Lord.

We're a very moral family
with a baby on board.

And I say gah, gah, damn it!

Oh me, oh my!

Gah, gah, damn it!

We hope that you die!

Gah, gah, damn it!

You tell 'em, jack!

I think I see my turn-off
so you'd better get back!

Gah, gah, damn it!

Now, let's see. We've got the windows taped
up, emergency provisions, spare batteries...

oh, I wish I knew that your
father and Daria were safe!

Quinn, what are you doing?

Making cocoa.

Why?

I saw this TV movie about this really cute family
of teens who got stranded during a hurricane.

When they got nervous,
they'd drink cocoa.

Now, sweetie, there's
nothing to worry about.

Looters!

Helen, Quinn! Daria?

Oh, no! I was hoping she was with you.

You mean she's out there? In
that maelstrom?! Oh, God, no!

It's not actually raining yet, Jake.

She's probably at her friend's house.

Yes, yes, that's where she is!

Hello, hello?!

Quinn, pour your father
some of that cocoa.

Hello? No, Daria's not here.
You want the Morgendorffers.

God...! I am the Morgendorffers!

Give me that.

Hello? Trent? You
haven't seen the girls?

Are your parents there?
Are they in town at all?

Have you done anything to prepare
for this hurricane? Yes, hurricane!

Trent, I want you to come over
and wait for the girls here.

You'll be safer.

Then put some on! And get
over here now, young man!

Doesn't anybody in this
town wear pants anymore?

It's like this:

if we don't go into that water t*nk
shack, we'll blow off the roof and die.

But it looks so...

I believe "icky" is the
word you're groping for.

Um, Brittany, would you mind pointing
those things in another direction?

Sorry.

My parents are probably
starting to worry.

I know mine would be,
if they were in town.

What about Trent? I'll bet he's upset.

I'll bet he's snoring.

Our families and friends...

Busy saving their rear ends...

May have overlooked
an absent teen or two.

But by now they're catching on
that two well-liked kids are gone...

And I'll bet that
someone's even missing you.

So, while the wind does blow
on our loved ones down below,

we wish that we could
tell them we're okay.

And I'd say I'm on the roof
with a bimbo and a goof,

but I'm due to come
back down most any day.

They must be worried.

They're probably distressed.

They must be worried.

It's causing them unrest.

They must be worried.

It's really hard to guess
exactly what Quinn's thinking,

though my instinct says it's
probably about her shoes.

Mom and Dad, though, I don't think are
exactly tickled pink that I've vanished,

and that I've left no
clues. They must be worried.

I wouldn't be surprised.

They must be worried.

Getting misty in the eyes.

They must be... Worried.

I can't take it anymore!

Whoa. No more cocoa for you, man.

It's not the cocoa. The cocoa's fine!

Thanks!

It's this sitting here doing nothing!

My little girl's lost in
the middle of a hurricane!

I should be out there looking for her!

Jake, I'm sure Daria had the
good sense to find shelter.

There's no point in putting yourself in danger,
acting like an idiot with a Superman complex.

Damn it, Helen! This is no
time for your girlie crap!

What?

That touchy-feely garbage! Who
do you want in an emergency:

Superman, or your damn inner child?

I'm acting like an idiot?
No! I'm acting like a man!

It used to be enough to be strong and good and
tough and go try whatever hasn't been tried.

But now I'm a jerk with
a brain that doesn't work

if I don't consult my feminine
side of what it is to be manly.

Manly!

Maybe we should stay here and
hug. Would that be more manly?

Manly!

Oh, k*ll me now, I
think I squashed a bug.

Trent, can't you talk
some sense into him?

Sounds sensible enough to
me. I can show that I care.

I can cry, I can share. Got
my brain in a sensitive whirl.

But please tell me why being such a modern
guy makes me feel like a bearded girl!

I guess that's not manly.

Manly!

I do nothing, but hey, I
feel, I feel mighty manly.

Manly!

I'm so excited I just might scream.

Come here, big guy.

You got it, boss.

I'm proud to be the
home of a Y chromosome.

I'm proud this hair
is growing on my chin.

Let's get the hell out there.

Find those girls for who we care.

We won't be back till
we can bring 'em in.

We're gonna be manly.

Manly!

Hang on, help is on the way!

It's time to be manly.

Manly!

Honey... is that okay?

Manly!

C'mon, Trent! Your daughter
and my sister are out there.

That doesn't sound right.

And we've got to find them.
It's our duty, damn it!

Damn it, you're right!

Damn it, let's go!

Jakey, be careful.

Yeah, dad.

Got to save those girls, damn it!

Damn it, let's do it!

Damn it!

Um, don't look now, but our little
love nest is about to collapse.

Oh, no! What do we do?

I guess we're going to have
to take our chances out there.

Okay, ready? I'm going to open the door.

Like before?

Just like before.

I give up, it's stuck.

You give up? You can't give up!

The girl with the squeak
says it's no time to be meek.

Time to do what you manly men do.

She means break down the door.

Give a holler or a roar, make some
stupid football noise and bust through.

You've got to be manly.

Manly!

My great aunt could do
better, and she's dead!

Come on and be manly!

Manly!

Now apply your mighty helmet of a head!

Manly!

Did he hurt himself?

Not anywhere either of you would notice.

Hey, check it out. The storm's over.

Kevvy, you did it!

And look, Brittany,
he also made a rainbow.

Is there anything this
popular boy can't do?

The big, wet rainstorm's over.
We're happy we're still here.

The big, wet rainstorm's
over. The end came very near.

We didn't die with Brittany.
Instead, we got to sit and see...

Kevin's head act mightily!

Oh, babe!

The big, wet rainstorm's over!

The big, wet rainstorm's
over. Where's Quinn?

And do we care?

The big, wet rainstorm's over.

She's in a store somewhere.

How do you like this jersey top?

Its colors make your highlights pop.

Okay, we're dressed, now we can shop.

The big, wet rainstorm's over!

The big, wet rainstorm's over
and Lawndale's still the same.

The big, wet rainstorm's over
and our life is once more tame.

Though if the town were gone today...

And all the people blown away...

We'd be in the major-i-tay.
The big, wet rainstorm's over.

The big, wet rainstorm's over.
I think you hurt your car.

The big, wet rainstorm's over.

Now will you go real far
away from me because, you see,

I crashed my car into a tree
and I'm as mad as mad can be!

The big, wet rainstorm's over.

You okay?

I'm okay. You okay?

A-okay!

The big, wet rainstorm's over.

The air bag saved our life.
The big, wet rainstorm's over.

Explain this to the wife! Now
will you please get out and see...

The damage done by this here tree?

The sight's a bit too much for me!

The big, wet rainstorm's over!

Janey! Oh, man, you're all right.

Trent, you were worried.

And you're okay too, Daria. Cool.

Mm-hmm, fine.

Daria, you're safe!

Dad, you crashed the car.

I don't care a fig about
my smashed-up Lexus.

You're really what my
caring is all about.

That must be why you've
crushed my solar plexus.

I'm sorry, hon, but I'm
so happy I could shout.

So you found my sis at last.

Crashed the car.

Ah, the past is past.

At least you didn't break your neck.

Could have, though.

But what the heck, 'cause...

Today was strange in extremes,
and that's put lightly.

And yet, it started out
so dull, and pretty dumb.

And so, this feeling I
feel I don't feel slightly.

It's the hope that tomorrow will
come, and another weird morning.

Yes, a-dawning.

An exciting new day a-borning.

No need for a surgeon
general's warning. Morning...

Morning!

It's morning, morning,
morning in the 'burbs!