02x12 - We Were Never

[bunniefuu]

CYRUS: Previously, on Andi Mack...

- So, what is Y?
- I don't know.

I really am trying to help you, TJ.

I don't know the answer, okay?

I think you have a learning disability.

It's like dyslexia, but with numbers.

Stop web-diagnosing my issues.

I'd rather they just think I'm stupid.

Should Jonah and I be
holding hands by now?

I don't see any reason
not to be holding this hand.

And yet, he isn't holding it.

I don't know what's going
on in Jonah's head,

- but boys can be pretty dumb.
- (CHUCKLES)

Sometimes it takes us a while
to appreciate what we have.

Dr. Metcalf, he wants me to
star in some video thing

for the school website.

Action!

I'm in seventh grade at Jesterton...
I mean,

Jefferson Middle Shul. Sorry, I've
got bar mitzvah on the brain.

(LAUGHING)

- Bar mitzvah red alert.
- ANDI: What's wrong?

I overbooked the bimah.

Bummer. What's a bimah?

The stage where the service happens.

This isn't my first bar mitzvah.

I have so many relatives coming in, I

have to recast the whole production.

Hey, family comes first.

You guys are family. Tell you what.

I can get you into the candle-lighting

ceremony, but it's gonna be tight.

You'll all have to share one candle.

Please don't make me choose
who gets to light it.

- Oy!
- We're here for you.

Whatever you need.

Didn't feel like
wearing your bracelet today?

I... I can't. It's kind of coming apart.

It's probably not fixable.

Oh, it's totally fixable.

I don't want to put you out.

- It'll only take a few minutes.
- You don't have to.

I... want to.

Okay, then, no rush.

Why would he say "no rush"?
Wouldn't he want me to rush?

I wouldn't worry about it.

Tell you what,
I will worry about it for you.

I've already got a whole list of things

to worry about, what's one more?

(THEME SONG PLAYING)

♪ I'm standing on the edge ♪

♪ And everything I kno-o-ow ♪

♪ Has blown away ♪

♪ Life is upside down ♪

♪ But any way it go-o-oes ♪

♪ I'll work it out ♪

♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh ♪

♪ Here we go ♪

♪ One, two, three! ♪

♪ I'm ready for tomorrow ♪

♪ Tomorrow starts today ♪

♪ There ain't no map to follow ♪

♪ But I'm with you all the way ♪

♪ I'm ready for tomorrow ♪

- ♪ Tomorrow starts today ♪
- ♪ Hey ♪

♪ There ain't no map to follow ♪

♪ But I'm with you all the way ♪

♪ Hey ♪

♪ All the way ♪

Hey!

I need to talk to you about my...

math thing?

I'm happy you want to deal with this,

but the real person
you should be talking to

is Mr. Coleman.

Absolutely. I'm gonna do that.

But in the meantime...

I need someone to do my math homework.

- Me?
- You are my tutor.

(SCOFFS) That doesn't mean
I'm gonna cheat for you!

It's not cheating, it's... helping
a teammate stay on the team.

- I have a moral code.
- People cheat all the time!

People without codes.

Codeless people!

So, about my bar mitzvah...

Not now, Cyrus.

Just, really quick, I wanna invite TJ.

- Are you cool with that?
- Whatever.

That was easy.

Hey, not-so-scary basketball guy!

Hey, underdog!

- What's up?
- Well, I know it's kind of last minute,

but if I could get an RSVP ASAP,

I think I can get you
into my bar mitzvah par-tee.

I'm there.

Hey, uh, can I ask you
something about Buffy?

- Sure.
- Is she always so high and mighty?

Pretty much.

Let's say I needed to get
her to do something for me.

How would I go about doing that?

Easy, just use her two favorite words.

- "I'm sorry"?
- No, she hates those words.

Then what?

Come with me. You might not like saying

this, but Buffy will love hearing it.

And so, my fellow graduates,

as we all head out into the world for

the first, or, perhaps, tenth time,

go forth and embrace your new lives

as fully credentialed cosmetologists.

But don't feel like you need to
possess all the answers right away.

Life is like any of the faces
we've worked on:

you make it up as you go along.

Pause for laughs, pause for laughs...

Thank you.

I'm so proud of you!

Oh, okay, don't oversell it.

- It's not that big of a deal.
- Yes, it is, that you're valedictorian.

There was a one-in-twelve
chance of that happening,

which makes it slightly less impressive.

So, who's gonna be there, besides me?

No one. You're my entire guest list.

What about CeCe and Pops?

Nah. She was hoping for more
of a college degree,

not a license to clean nail beds
and make a smokey eye.

But you're gonna invite Bowie, right?

I don't know. After the
other day, I'm just not...

Yeah. Me neither.

I should, though, shouldn't I?

He did let you practice
on him a bunch of times.

- Good point.
- I can invite him!

- No! I'll do it.
- You'll be happy you did.

We'll cheer really loud
when you get your diploma.

- Certificate.
- Whatever.

It's frameable.

♪ ♪

♪ Tell me a story
about the fallin' rain ♪

♪ How to keep on goin'
when your heart's in pain ♪

♪ And will you stay with me,
stay with me? ♪

♪ Will you stay with me? ♪

♪ I'm feelin' low ♪

Hey, Shnoo. What you doin'?

Just some minor bracelet repair.

- What's up?
- Not this song.

- It's so depressing.
- You've listened to it nine times.

What am I supposed to tell you?

I'm a teenager. I have... mood swings.

Is this about your boyfriend
hangin' out with some other girl?

What did you tell him?

Everything.

Are you two gossiping about me?

- No!
- A little.

- We love you.
- We're concerned.

- We can help.
- Oh, Celia, you can do that thing.

I don't do that anymore, remember?

We agreed I should stop?

Stop... what?

What are we talking about?

You could do it one more time.

You're the one who said we could help.

This is the I Ching, the most
ancient oracle in the world.

These coins have been
in my family for generations,

my grandmother claimed

back to the time of the dynasties.

- Can I...?
- Oh, go ahead, pick 'em up.

- They're cool, right?
- Yeah.

You cup the coins in your hands,

clear your mind, and concentrate

on the part of your life
you need help with.

But you must never consult the
I Ching unless you're ready

for the response.

I'm ready.

How's it looking so far?

Should I... with the...?

Shh! She's divining.

The coins have spoken.

You tossed the coins six times.

Each coin toss comes with a mark.

Each mark becomes part of the hexagram.

There are possible hexagrams.

This is yours.

Hexagram .

(GASPS)

Is... Is it bad?

Is a bad hexagram?

- There are no bad hexagrams.
- But Pops made a noise!

- I...
- It's one of the more serious ones.

It means...

splitting apart.

Is it about me and Jonah?

Does the I Ching say
that we're splitting apart?

The I Ching is only a guide.

The interpretation
of the text is up to you.

Jonah's bracelet split apart.
Could it be referring to that?

It's probably about something
bigger than the bracelet.

She can interpret the
message however she likes.

If it's okay with you, I think I'll...

interpret in Andi Shack.

Oh. Good idea.

(SIGHS)

♪ ♪

I've got two words for you.

You're right.

About what?

Right about me not having a moral code.

You're right about me needing
help with my learning... issues.

You're right about me needing
to talk to Mr. Coleman.

So, does that mean
you're going to do it?

Yes. But I was really hoping
to do it after tomorrow's game.

(SIGHS) Which means you still
want me to do your homework.

What I want is to be able
to play one more game

without everyone knowing my problems.

Looking at me like I'm different.

Feeling sorry for me.

I don't know. You've been
a real butthead lately,

more than usual.

You're right.

♪ ♪

And who could forget
Monsters and Martians Week,

when Lisa was painting
Steve's face green,

and Steve's breaking out in hives
made Lisa's swamp creature

- look even more authentic.
- (LAUGHTER)

Okay, okay, but seriously, everybody,

as we all head out into the world

for the first, or,
perhaps, tenth time...

Uh...

Dream big and clean your brushes.

(APPLAUSE)

Did you invite them? I told you not to.

Invite...?

Smile!

Oh, great, they're coming over here.

You do all the talking.

Hey! (LAUGHS)
What are you guys doing here?

- We were invited.
- Not by me!

But I... I wanted to.

By the school, they sent us the tickets.

We didn't wanna miss this.

I'm sure you'd rather be
sitting on a lawn somewhere,

watching me graduate
from college, but...

I'm doing this. And I'm good at it.

And I'm proud of myself for
finishing something that I started.

So am I.

Really?

Yes.

Very proud.

We both are.

Thank you.

Oh. Did you... did you wanna?

Yeah, sure. Why not?

Because you never do.

Well, you can't say that anymore.

Where's Bowie?

Uh, Andi, weren't
you gonna invite Bowie?

No, I thought you said
you were gonna do it.

Ah. I guess I got it backwards.

Oh. Let's get a photo
with the proud parents.

Oh, yeah!

Smiles!

(CLICKS)

I can't thank you enough
for helping me pick out a suit.

I tried to do this with
my mom and stepmother,

but it did not go well.

No problem. Happy to help.

Look, picking the right look
can make or break a bar mitzvah.

Just ask Michael "Seersucker" Cohen.

I'm just surprised you asked me.

Andi or Buffy would definitely
be better at this than me.

But this is the suit I'll be
wearing the moment I become a man.

I want a guy's opinion.

Let's see the suit.

Oh, um, it's "suits," plural.

Wheel 'em in, Keith!

Ah!

Can Keith get you
a beverage before we start?

No? Nothing? All right.

♪ ♪

Remember you promised
to pass me the ball?

Yeah.

Just making sure you remembered.

(WHISTLE TRILLS)

I'm open!

(CHEERING)

Why didn't you pass me the ball?

'Cause I don't need to.

♪ Bring it on ♪

♪ ♪

♪ Lookin' for attention ♪

This is the one my mom picked out.

♪ You know you got all eyes on you ♪

This is the one
my stepmother picked out.

♪ You got the look ♪

This is the one I like, but I know
it's not me, so, don't laugh.

♪ You got all eyes on ♪

♪ All eyes on you ♪

So, does this rate a "docious"?

Maximum magocious.

So, we're saying yes to the vest.

I like the whole thing.

I think Andi and Buffy
are really gonna approve.

- (GASP) Buffy!
- What?

- Her game!
- Well, what about it?

I have to be there.
I go to all of her games,

- just in case they let her play.
- You'd better change, quick!

♪ ♪

(CHEERING)

Ooh!

Hey! We're winning!

- How's Buffy doing?
- She hasn't touched the ball yet.

Today's the day.
I've got a good feeling.

I'm open!

- Time-out!
- (WHISTLE TRILLS)

- What's your migraine?
- We had a deal.

I'll pass to you in the next game, okay?

No, you won't!

You just say what you need
to say to get what you want!

But you don't mean any of it.

You're right.

Buffy, you just wasted a time-out.

He promised me he'd pass me the ball.

It's a close game. I wanna win.

Just pass her the ball, Kippen.

Thank you!

I'm glad someone here has a soul.

- (WHISTLE TRILLS)
- (CHEERING)

(WHISTLE TRILLS)

I'm open. Come on, I'm open!

- All right!
- Yes! Yes!

- (BOUNCE ECHOING)
- Huh?

♪ ♪

(LOUD CHEERING)

Mommy!

(CHEERING)

Hi, baby.

(CHEERING CONTINUING)

♪ ♪

I love those videos!

When soldiers come home
and surprise their kids!

Me, too!

We just saw one for real!

Oh, we should've taped it!

- I'm glad I was there.
- Me, too.

Oh! So much excitement,
I totally forgot!

I fixed your bracelet.

See? You can't even tell it was broken.

No, I can't.

Thank you for taking the time to fix it,

but I kinda think
I'm not really a bracelet guy.

Not a bracelet guy?

Well, you've been wearing a bracelet,

and you're a guy.

I'm pretty sure those are
the only two requirements.

I'm not sayin' this right.

You asked me to make it for you.

I know, but that was before.

Before what?

Back when we were just
gettin' to know each other.

Now when I wear this, it feels like
a girlfriend-y, boyfriend-y thing.

And, that's bad because...?

I don't like labels.

They're too... label-y.

But you called Amber your girlfriend.

Well, only because she made me.

I see.

So to sum up...

you don't want the bracelet that
you asked me to make for you.

Right.

And...

we're not boyfriend-girlfriend.

Right!

See? That's why you're the best.

You totally get it. (LAUGHS)

Well, glad we got that cleared up.

Cookie dough straight
out of the bowl, huh?

It's been that kind of day.

Well, I guess this is dinner.

What's got you down?

Does it have anything to do with this?

Could you please put that back
where you found it?

- In the trash?
- Which is where it belongs.

This is the famous bracelet, isn't it?

What happened?

Not a lot.

I can tell you
what didn't happen, though.

Jonah never got me anything.

Jonah never even sent me a text
that wasn't mostly emojis.

Jonah never even
asked me out on a real date.

All he did was say that he wanted
to spend more time with me.

And he... held my hand a couple times.

And somehow I convinced myself
that we were something.

But we were never really anything.

You were friends.

Yeah... yeah.

We had that.

♪ ♪

♪ Say, let's talk it out ♪

♪ Tell me what happened ♪

♪ I'm with you now ♪

♪ Come on, can't you look at me? ♪

♪ I'll help you through this,
it's not easy ♪

♪ I'm here for you ♪

♪ I'm here for you ♪

♪ I'm here for you ♪

♪ ♪

♪ Pullin' you through ♪

♪ Because I want to ♪

ANDI: Next, on Andi Mack...

- It's...
- BOTH: My bar mitzvah!

- How long do we do this for?
- Forever? (LAUGHS)

Have I done something?

We saw you at mini-golf.

You saw me there with Miranda.

I guess that means she
thinks you two are serious.

- Why are you here?
- I was invited.

Write a single yes or no question.

No.

Oh, no. Is my mom home for good?

Hi, Mommy.

Do you know when you're going back?

Or have you already been deployed?

Here's what you do.

You wanna act as if he isn't there.

How you doin', by the way?

- Why?
- You guys broke up.

All I said was that I'm not into labels.

According to him,
you two have not broken up!

Oh, really?

- I'm Walker.
- Andi.

- Hi.
- Hi.