03x17 - Arts and Inhumanities

[bunniefuu]

Previously, on
"Andi Mack"...

What if I said it for real,
told him, "I love you"?

I don't know if that's
such a good idea.

- Hey.
- Hey.

Do you want to split
a milkshake at The Spoon?

No. Amber might be working.

- Are you avoiding her?
- Yeah.

- Why?
- She loves me.

- How do you know that?
- She told me.

Why can't it just be fun?
Why does it have to be love?

I'm glad you called.

I missed you.

I should probably tell you
that I have a girlfriend.

I'm really happy for you.

So, can we be
friends again?

Now that the pressure's off?

- "Trashing Stereotypes."
- What do you think?

This is what you've been
working so hard on?

This isn't the best angle
to see it from.

It looks better
from up here.

- Andi.
- Wow.

- That's...
- Stupendous.

I didn't know
you could do this.

This is gonna change
your life, you know.

Wow.

- Andi.
- What?

I can't...
I mean...

- You made this.
- Yes. Are you done? Can we go?

No! There's a lot to look at.

Your hair,
what is that made of?

Oh. It's the prison
uniforms you gave us

- for the dress code protest.
- I'm in there.

Excuse me. Hi. She made this.
I'm in there.

Hi. Sorry.

Mom, don't.
You're being such a dance mom.

I can't help it.
I'm bursting with pride.

Like, literally,
I feel like that could happen.

Where did
you learn to do this?

Nowhere.
It's basically a collage.

It's not "basically" anything.
This is a work of art.

It's not art.
Art is Picasso, and...

- What's his name, who cut off his ear?
- Van Gogh?

Yeah, him. And the painting
that's all the drips.

There seem to some gaps in the
Jefferson Middle School art curriculum.

I'm a craft person.

I make beaded bracelets
and duct tape wallets,

and I turn neckties
into headbands.

It's not art. It's just stuff
you can learn on the internet.

Which brings me back
to my question:

Where did you
learn to do this?

I don't know.
I just did it.

Excuse me.
Are you the artist?

Yes, she is.
See? See?

- He called you an artist.
- All right. Time to go.

♪ I'm standin' on the edge ♪

♪ And everything I know
0h-oh-whoa! ♪

♪ Has blown away ♪

♪ Life is upside down ♪

♪ But any way it go
oh-oh-whoas ♪

♪ I'll work it out ♪

♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh, Woha! ♪

♪ Here we go ♪

♪ One, two, three! ♪

♪ I'm ready
for tomorrow ♪

♪ Tomorrow
starts today ♪

♪ There ain't a map to follow ♪

♪ But I'm with you all the way ♪

- ♪ I'm ready for tomorrow ♪
- ♪ Hey! ♪

- ♪ Tomorrow starts today ♪
- ♪ Hey! ♪ "Andi Mack"

- ♪ There ain't a map to follow ♪
- ♪ Hey! ♪ "Andi Mack"

- ♪ But I'm with you all the way ♪
- ♪ Hey! ♪ Season 03 Episode 16

♪ All the way ♪
Episode Title: "Arts and Inhumanities"

We only have the lane
for an hour.

According to my research,
a bowling ball should be

approximately ten percent
of your body weight.

Does it really matter
when you're using bumpers?

- I'm gonna put our name in the thing.
- Put me down as Bumper Boy.

- Really?
- I'm owning my truth.

Buf-fay!

Mar-tay!

What's up
with the limp?

What's up
with that haircut?

Seriously, are you okay?

- Hi. I'm Buffy.
- Rachel.

This is Rachel,
my girlfriend.

Oh. You're real!

I'm sorry, what?

You know,
Marty told me he had a girlfriend,

and I'm like, oh, do you?

Where is she?
Canada? -

Did you say that
I was in Canada?

- No, no. It's, like, a joke.
- It's a... it's a thing people say.

If you don't believe
they have a girlfriend...

'Cause... Canada.

- Never mind.
- Never mind.

I should get back.
It was nice to meet you.

Your foot.

It's just sore.
It's getting better.

- Who are you texting?
- Her.

Why? She's right here.

It's the name and number
of a foot doctor.

- I don't need to see a doctor.
- Well, you do.

Can we bowl now?

Okay, yeah.
Let's bowl.

- That was unpleasant.
- What was?

Meeting Marty's girlfriend.
I mean, I'm happy for him.

- I'd hold off on that.
- Why?

How could you say that?
How did she know? And who is she?

- Is that about you?
- No. I barely said anything...

- You must have said something.
- Well, I made a joke about Canada.

Oh, sure. Blame Canada.
It's always Canada's fault.

- Did you pick a ball?
- Yes.

It's one of these five.

♪ I just can't stop
livin' this daydream ♪

♪ I sit here waiting
for you after school ♪

♪ Swingin' on the porch
and playin' pool ♪

♪ I know that someday soon
I'll hear you say... ♪

Got one.

- Writing me a song?
- Amber!

Just kidding about
writing me a song.

Although, if you wanted to,
a lot of great words rhyme with Amber.

Slander, commander,
gerrymander...

What are you doing here?

Besides pitching
words that don't rhyme with Amber.

I thought we could hang out.

I tried texting you.

Is something wrong
with your phone?

I hope not.

It was on silent.

I must've just
clicked the wrong button.

Jonah, can I ask,
and please be honest,

are things okay?

Things are fine.

I mean, with you and me.

Oh.

Things are fine!

Sometimes I read
too much into stuff.

But it feels like
they're not.

My phone really
was on silent.

Never mind.
I'm just being paranoid.

- Can I listen to you practice?
- Yeah.

It's just that I'm...
meeting up with Cyrus.

Not to hang.
He's teaching me to play chess.

Chess? I didn't know
you were interested in that.

Oh, yeah.
For a while now.

I mean, I've gone as far as
I can with checkers, so...

now I want to learn
how to... chess.

You don't
seem like a chess guy.

Well, I'm not, but...

watch this space.

- Maybe tomorrow?
- Text me.

- Don't leave your phone on silent.
- Ha.

Ha.

Did you get my email?

Nobody uses email.

Just check your email.

Okay.
What am I looking at?

Shadyside Academy
of Visual Arts. SAVA.

- Do you know what this place is?
- It's an art school.

It's a high school.

What?

These things were made by kids
not much older than you.

I think...

you should apply.

I have to apply
to high school?

Well, it's a magnet school.
But with your GPA, you'll get in!

Think about it,
but quickly.

This is due
by the end of the month.

"Upload your portfolio."

Next.

"List any awards you've
received." Well...

I was voted
"most helpful" at day camp.

"Please provide three recommendations
from your art instructors."

Well... that was fun.

Thanks.

Buffy is just
a friend, I swear.

Marty, she's interested in you.
I can tell.

I promise you,
she's not interested in me.

How do you know?
Did you ask her?

- It was a long time ago.
- I knew it!

- Before I even met you!
- I knew you liked her!

We're just friends.

Is my food almost ready?

But you wish you were
with her instead of me.

No! Can... Can we please just...
This is t*rture.

Rachel, don't...
I'm sorry I said that, Rachel.

Don't go...

Buffy?

Marty...

I'm fine.

I'm out.

He's dead.

Mm! Please tell me whatever
I'm smelling is ready to eat.

- First I have to shave.
- What?

- Some cheese!
- Oh!

Why do you
pretend to fall for that every time?

Look how happy
it makes him.

- Hey. Did you fill out your application?
- What application?

- For SAVA.
- Andi's going to art school next year.

No, I'm not.

Because... no.
I didn't.

- Andi!
- Mom!

I don't have a portfolio.

I've never won
an award.

And three letters of recommendation
from art instructors?

I guess I could ask the
lady who taught our Brownie troop

how to shellac a picture
to a piece of wood.

Does she really need to go to art school?
She has AndiShack.

- Thank you.
- Well, you haven't seen this place.

- Neither have you.
- Yeah, I have.

You've seen the website.
Everything looks good online.

What, are they gonna
put the ugly pictures up?

So neither one of you
have actually seen this place?

- No.
- No.

I don't know, call me crazy,

but I think
that might be helpful.

Serving you Bolognese
with a side of wisdom.

Hope you ladies
are appreciating me tonight.

Gah!

I'm just saying,
if you have this ring that's all-powerful,

and it'll do whatever you want,
and everyone's trying to steal it from you,

why not just tell the ring,
"Take out the bad guys"?

Because it's not
how the ring works.

One ring
to bore them all.

- Look, there's Amber.
- Where?

- Hey, Amber!
- Don't!

Uh... um, there's something
I should have told you.

Hey, guys.
No lesson today?

- Lesson?
- That's where we're going right now.

How's he doing?

Well, um...

Good question.
How would you say you're doing?

It's going slow.
I'm not very good at chess.

Probably gonna need a lot of lessons.
Today he's...

teaching me about
the horses.

I think you mean knights?

Like I said...
not very good.

Well, good luck.

Please explain.

I told Amber you're
teaching me how to play chess.

- Why?
- I had to. She's getting so clingy.

Tiny snag.
I don't know how to play chess.

I'm not really
taking lessons.

Thanks for seeing me.

It's been a really rough week,
and I just needed to talk some stuff out.

Anytime, Amber.
Let's dive in.

Yes. Let's.

Our time is limited. I think we
should focus on why you're here.

This is why I'm here.

It's your hour.

Do you want to be
black or white?

I'll take white.

Ladies first.

Actually...

white always goes first.

Right. I belong
to a small subset of players

trying to get that rule
changed, but, um...

if, uh, we're being
traditionalists...

Did you know that I played chess
competitively up through sixth grade?

I did not.

I had to stop, though.

The tournament leagues
were just... so time-consuming.

I bet.

Checkmate.

Really?

There's nothing I can do here?

Now that's impressive.

You don't know
how to play chess.

And you didn't come here
for a counseling session.

Jonah lied to me.
That's bad enough.

But you stood there
and let him.

- I'm so sorry, Amber.
- Why would you do that?

Jonah's my friend.

- What about me?
- You're my friend, too.

The one it's okay
to lie to.

Amber, wait. Stop.

- Let's talk about this.
- I wish I could, Cyrus.

But I can't talk to you,
about how you treated me.

Ow.

- Did you call the doctor?
- Yes.

- No, you didn't.
- I'm going to.

You know, you could do
permanent damage to your foot...

Marty. Please don't tell
me how to live my life.

I don't tell you
how to live yours.

You don't have to.

Because I'm responsible,
and I do everything right.

That's one opinion.

For instance,
I broke up with Rachel.

No, you didn't.

You're right.
She broke up with me, but...

I'm totally fine
with it.

It wasn't over me,
I hope.

Oh, no. You told her we were just
friends, didn't you?

Only a million times.

She just kept insisting
that I still like you.

Which, don't worry,
I don't.

Huh.

Why not?

It's like you said,
we really work as friends.

- You coming?
- Uh, yeah.

- Um, you better go.
- Call...

Yes, I will call the doctor.

♪ Why run away from ♪

♪ The things that make us
what we are? ♪

♪ I'll take my own path ♪

♪ A spirit guide
will lead the way ♪

♪ I'll miss the day ♪

♪ Breakin', breakin' ♪

♪ Time slips away ♪

Jonah, wait up!

- Look at you.
- No wheezing.

Thank you for noticing.

I can occasionally
take stairs two at a time now.

If my shoes are tied.

In other much,
much more relevant news,

Amber figured out that I'm
not giving you chess lessons.

She did?
Great.

Okay, now I need some other excuse
why I can't hang out with her.

- Help me think of something.
- I have an idea.

- Amber!
- Amber!

Why don't you just
break up with me?

Obviously, I'm leaving.

- I just want you to know...
- I do know, Cyrus. I'm not mad at you.

I'm so sorry
for lying to you.

Your friendship is
really important to me.

Let's talk over here.

And I know
that you trusted me,

and I really hope that
I haven't lost that trust.

- Amber...
- Please.

Don't say anything.

I already know it's gonna be
something I don't want to hear.

- I'm sorry.
- Like that.

- I didn't want to hurt you.
- You're just making it worse.

I hope we can still be friends.

What are you,
reading from cue cards?

Future reference,
Jonah,

next time you dump someone,
you could be nice about it.

You don't have to drag it out,
and then lie to them,

and then make them feel like an
idiot for caring about you so much.

I'm... I'm sorry.

Yeah.
You already said that.

So, what do you think?

I think it's...
impressive.

I know.

How hard do you think
it is to get in?

I don't know.
We should probably look that up.

I think you were right
about this place.

I really wanna go here.

I think this is
where I belong.

Then... okay.

You still think
I can get in, right?

Of course.

♪ This is day one, Turn the music
on, hear the drummers drum ♪

♪ Reach up, put 'em high,
so alive ♪

♪ This is day one,
one, one ♪

♪ This is day one ♪

♪ One, one, one, one... ♪
Sync corrections by srjanapala

Next on Andi Mack...

- Something on your mind?
- I finished my application to SAVA.

Andi, that's fantastic.

But I'm not sure
I'm going to submit it.

Boo!

- What was that?
- I have to make a decision.

About what?

I don't want to tell you,
because it might not happen.

Oh, no.

- What is that?
- A stress fracture.

Which means the chances
of winning our last game

have majorly narrowed
to zero.

What is it?

It's my way of helping
out from the bench.

sh**t!