01x05 - Fate's Journey

[bunniefuu]

[guard] Stop!

- [grunts]
- Get back here!

[panting]

Where'd they go?

You see 'em?

Over here! Come on!

[grunts]

[chitters]

[guard] Eyes open, lads!

Quickly, men!
They went this way!

Come on. They can't be far.

Oh, man,
being bad is so exciting.

[gasping]

[whimpers]

[Gilmore clears throat]

[winces] Ooh, crime doesn't pay,

but it is entertaining.

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

- [snaps fingers]
- [Keyleth] No!

Uh, we weren't breaking in
or anything.

Just, you know,
sort of on the run.

A quick stop at your store
on our way out of town.

While it was closed.

I assume you were going
to leave an IOU?

- Uh...
- Hmm.

Of course, darling. You know us.

[chuckles] All too well.

Dagger, dagger,

dagger... wooden stake.

Perfect.

[grunts]

I'll take
these enchanted arrows.

And as much garlic
as you can spare.

Ugh. I don't want to know.

No, that's a lie.
I absolutely want to know.

What's this all about?

We kind of pissed off a vampire.

And our healer's
out of commission.

Mm. Then may I suggest the
addition of something special?

Holy water.

One of the only things
truly known to stop a vampire.

Well, that and direct sunlight.

We will take
all the holy water you've got.

- You're looking at it.
- [sighs]

I'll need to grab
a few more things, then.

Oh!

Thank you, Rodrigo.
You're a gem.

One must have a bit of company

while handsome half-elves
are off thwarting evil.

[Vax chuckles]

[Vax] I'll bet you say that
to all the fugitives.

Oh.

- Uh, um...
- [Vax] You mentioned direct sunlight.

[chuckles] Oh, yes.

But you need more sunlight
than summer in Marquet.

Well, that seems unlikely.
By the way,

I don't think I have to mention
that we were never here?

It'll be our little secret.

[clattering]

- [straining]
- [Gilmore] Need some help, love?

[nervous chuckle] I'm fine.
Thanks.

I... It's okay.
I'll just stay this way.

For forever.

Press the tooth of each snake
at the same time, dear.

[quiet snap]

Ah, cool.

Thanks, Vax.

Uh... [clears throat]

Wonder what we have over here.

Oh. Speaking of secrets...

- Sir Gilmore.
- Hmm?

For your friends, how much
is this going to run us?

Hmm.

- [neighing]
- [Scanlan] Oi! Slow asses!

Check it out.
We got a good deal on the cart.

Practically, literally a steal.
How'd you do?

Let's just say I'd hate to see
what Gilmore charges

- his enemies.
- Hyah!

[horse neighs]

♪ ♪

Please stop that.
I'm trying to concentrate.

Oh, is that what you're doing?

I thought you were practicing
your resting bitch face.

Excuse me. My bitch face?

You're heading home.
Figured you'd look happier.

This isn't a homecoming.
This is a su1c1de mission

to topple the necromantic
murderers of my family.

And for the record,
I have a magnificent bitch face.

- [laughs] Do you, now?
- Yes, I do.

- Lots of practice.
- [chuckles]

Any luck translating?

Uh, totally.

Uh, some.

Okay, yeah,
most of it's impossible.

But, I mean, look at this.

This is some messed-up sh*t.

I-I mean...
all I can make out is one word

of Delilah's
craptastic scribble.

Something called...

a "zippertwat."

Uh, okay, yeah, actually,
I think it's a ziggurat.

Oh. Thank God.

'Cause what I
was picturing was, like...

- whoa.
- They spent hours

teaching me stuff like this
for my Aramenté.

Ziggurats were
ancient structures

used for contacting gods.

Huh.

Wish I could help more,
but I fell asleep a lot

in Ancient Abyssal class.

Hmm. Then we're
hopelessly f*cked.

We definitely are. [sighs]

[chuckles]

[Grog grunting]

Oh, please tell me you're not
sh1tting in another cart.

[Grog] It's not working.

- It's too hard.
- [Vax] Grog,

are you crying?

[sniffles] No.

Pike said I can talk to her
even if she's not here

and I'd feel her.

- But it doesn't work.
- Hey.

Hey, hey, hey.
Pike is going to be fine.

I know that.

She's stronger than all of us.

I'm more worried
about us without her.

[Vax sighs]

Me, too, Grog.

Me, too.

[bird caws]

The Whispered One?

[insect buzzes]

[Percy sighs]

[horse neighing]

Percy, you need a break.

[sighs] Absolutely not.

We need to keep moving.

The Briarwoods are probably back
in Whitestone by now.

- Percy, stop.
- I'm not that tired.

No, I mean stop the damn cart.

- Something's tracking us.
- Whoa.

[twig snaps]

Uh, what was that?

[rustling in brush]

[Vax and Grog grunting]

[slow footsteps]

[whimpers]

- Hmm?
- Hmm?

Oh, poor little puppers.

[whining]

Are you hurt, little guy?

[growling]

[screams]

[growling]

What the f*ck are those?

[whimpers]

A gift from Lady Briarwood.

- [horses neighing]
- [low growling]

[growling]

What the fu...?

[neighing]

[gasping]

[yelling]

Scanlan!

[w*apon f*ring]

[horses neighing]

[Percy] Hyah!

[muffled groaning]

[growling]

[chuffing, snarling]

[grunts, tightens reins]

- [squeals]
- [Scanlan groans]

[yells]

[grunts]

[grunting]

[squealing]

[low growling]

[squealing]

[whimpers]

[muffled groaning]

Mmm.

Scanlan, hang on!

Come on, Percy! Faster! Hyah!

This thing was not
built for speed.

And did you just "hyah" me?

- Hyah.
- Hyah.

That's just not fair.

[growling]

I'll take the big one!

I'll take the other big one!

[growling]

Sit! [grunts]

- [growling]
- [whimpering]

- [yelling]
- Vax!

- [groaning]
- [low growling]

[Vax coughs]

[growling]

[whimpers]

[yelling]

That's for Pike!

And me and maybe Scanlan

'cause he probably
won't survive!

This better be worth it.

[whimpering]

[laughing]

Thanks, Gilmore.

Um, are they going
over the cliff?

They're not the only ones!

It's got Scanlan.
We have no choice!

I am not dying to save
that gnome. Get me closer!

[horse neighing]

[whimpering]

- [gasps]
- [growls]

sh**t for its head!
Neck! d*ck!

Come on, Vex! No one
breaks balls better than you!

He's not wrong.

You missed?!

[screams]

Let go of the book, dumb-ass!

[grunts, whimpers]

- Hyah!
- [neighing]

- Off the cart! [grunts]
- [whimpers]

[neighing]

[groaning]

[wind whistling]

[gasps, groans]

[Percy groans]

[gasps]

[gasps softly]

No.

[gasps] Scanlan.

- He didn't make it.
- [sniffles, whimpers]

[cries quietly]

♪ Rise, mighty Scanlan ♪

♪ Rise! ♪

- [laughs]
- [gasps, sniffles]

[laughs] Yeah, when I die,

it'll be the way
the gods intended...

choked to death
by a disgruntled pimp.

[chuckles] Careful
what you wish for.

We lost everything.

Well, I mean, at least we still
have our holy water-er-er-er...

- [all gasp and groan]
- No! No!

[all gasping]

[glass clinking]

[all sigh]

Perfect.

[growling]

[gasping]

[growling]

[Vex sighs]

She got what she wanted. Again.

[Delilah] Well, do you have
an update for us?

[Anders] My Lady, the refinement

of the Whitestone shale
is on track

and will be ready
at your request.

- [low growling]
- Excellent.

We have a schedule to keep, but
the residuum needs to be pure.

Do not forget that,
Professor Anders.

Understood, My Lady.

Everything for the ritual
must be in place before the...

[clears throat] Lord and Lady,

the dinner guests you requested.

Ah, splendid.

Welcome, friends.

Supper first,
then you'll need to change

- into more formal attire.
- Oh? Oh.

[woman] Oh, my goodness.

Excuse me, did we win a prize?

Yes, little one.

You've been chosen
for a very special event.

[giggles]

[Vex] That's far enough
for today.

Let's make camp.

- [sighs]
- [sighs]

Hmm. Hmm.

Oops! Little too much.

[Vax grunts]

Oh, my gosh. Oh, sorry!
Sorry, sorry, sorry!

You're fine. You're fine.
No worries.

Yeah, no worries.

You'll probably get your sh*t
together eventually.

[laughs]

[Scanlan and Grog grunt]

[Scanlan] [muttering] Huh,
see here. Ah.

Okay, let's see
what this baby can do.

You got a baby in that thing?

What? N-No. Grog,
it's the scroll I picked up

from Brimscythe's cave.

Just got to figure out
how to make it work.

Okay. [clears throat]

"Nevosh, nevonn, klu, mehon."

[magical chiming]

[Grog gasps]

- [croaks]
- [laughs]

It made you handsomer!

- Oh, I like it!
- [grunting]

Nevosh, nevonn, klu, mehon.

[grunts]
Whoa-ho-ho!

I like that even more!

Nevosh, nevonn, klu, mehon.

[gasps] Whoa. Yup.

Now I'm confused and aroused.

Dah-dah-dah-dah-dah-dah-dah.
Hands off.

What the...? How the f*ck...

do I look this good?
[chuckles]

[whoops] Hmm?

[bird hooting]

This forest reminds me
of home a little.

[magical chiming]

[chuckles] Your home
must be nice.

It's beautiful. And big.

And filled with Ashari
I'm supposed to lead someday.

[sighs] Vex is right.

Maybe I'll never get
my sh*t together.

Don't listen to my sister.

I don't know your people

or rituals or what you think
you're running from.

But I know you.

I know you care about others.

That's what makes
a great leader.

[sighs]

Kiki, I believe in you.

[laughs] Thanks...

friend.

[birds singing]

Yes? How may I be of service?

I...

I need the Everlight, but...

Are you all right, my child?

I guess... [sighs]

Well, the thing is...

I was helping my friends
battle a-a dark mage,

and she cracked my holy symbol,
and I haven't been able

to connect or-or heal
or do anything,

and now I think I'm cursed.

I know. I sound crazy.

A curse, you say?

Help me. Please?

Whatever has happened
to you, child,

the Everlight accepts you
as you are.

[Scanlan] ♪ She was a holy,
holy gnome ♪

[laughter]

Oh, God.

How about,
what's the strangest creature

you've ever k*lled?

Oh, that's easy.

I will return,
and I will find you!

[groans]

Uh-huh. Heard that before.

- [laughter]
- Oh!

Yeah. Oh, man, good one.

Yeah, that's pretty crazy.

I think maybe the strangest k*ll
I've ever had would be...

- [yelling]
- [gasping]

Oh, no, no, no.
Oh, no, no, no, no.

Shh! Shh! Shh, quiet.
Quiet. Go to sleep.

[insects chirping]

Pretty dark.

Okay, this one was awesome.

Oh, you... [muttering]

[yells]

[groaning]

- [bellows]
- [laughs]

- [laughter] Oh!
- That was the best.

- Yeah.
- [overlapping chatter]

Points for originality.

Okay, I've got one.

Hands down, the worst monster
I've ever faced.

[high-pitched moaning]

So what?

Yeah, sounds pretty normal
for you.

No, no, no, I-I haven't
gotten to the good part.

- Ah! Yes! Yes! Yeah!
- Huh?

Yes! [growls]

- [loud growling]
- [yelling]

- Aah!
- Oh!

- Oh, what the f*ck?!
- Oh, no!

What? I still finished.

[groaning]

- [Vax] I'm gonna be sick.
- I'm very consistent.

[Vax] How about you, Percy?

What's the worst monster
you've ever faced?

They're in Whitestone.

And we'll all
be facing them soon.

[Grog clears throat]

[Grog] Buzzkill.

[bird calling]

I keep thinking
about when we left Syngorn.

Hmm. Yeah?

Screw that place.

And Father.

Whole thing nearly broke us.

Nearly.

But it didn't.

Because we stuck together.

We didn't let ourselves
get distracted by pretty things.

Careful, brother.

Those vines have thorns.

You're imagining things, Stubby.

No one will ever
come between us.

[Vax grunts softly]

You know, sometimes
courage is knowing

there could be trouble
and taking the chance anyway.

So is stupidity.

[Grog laughs]

[fire crackling]

[snoring]

[bird calling]

Almost home.

I never thought
I'd see it again.

What's Whitestone like, Percy?

Yes, what should we expect?

It's beautiful.

Lush.

Orchards always in bloom,

thanks to the Sun Tree.

They say it was planted

by the Dawnfather
a thousand years ago.

It's even engraved here
on our family crest.

A symbol of the De Rolos' ties
to the city.

At least it used to be.

We're going
to help you get it back.

All of it.

We're here.

Percy.

What have they done?

- [bird calling]
- [crow cawing]

No guards?

[metallic creaking]

Where is everyone?

Uh, no offense, Percy, but your
town's kind of creepy as sh*t.

I need to find Keeper Yennen.

- Who?
- A holy woman here.

She'll know what's happened.

- You're sure about her?
- She can be trusted.

If she's alive.

[all gasping]

- [sighs]
- [sighs, gasps]

[loud, thunderous footsteps]

[Scanlan stammers]

Uh, b-big thing there.
There big thing.

We're not safe here. Come on.

[all panting]

[Percy gasps]

Percy, are you okay?

[Keyleth gasps]

[ropes creaking]

It's us.

[ropes creaking]

[animal chittering]

Chirp.