01x10 - A Flight to Remember

[bunniefuu]

That was the worst
delivery ever.

Yeah. I'm never going
to another planet called Cannibalon.

Me, neither.

Food was good, though.

Oh, great news, everyone.

Shove it. We quit!

In that case,
I'll have to hire a new crew...

to go on our company vacation.

Vacation?

- All right!
- Whoo!

This is great.

I haven't had time off
since I was through .

It's just my way of thanking you...

for not reporting
my countless violations...

of safety and minimum wage laws.

Aw, you.

I've booked us all
on the maiden voyage...

of the largest,
most luxurious...

space cruise ship ever built.

The Titanic.

Looks nice.

Hey, uh, where's my suitcase?

Oh!

As mayor of New New York...

it's my pleasure to introduce
the honorary captain...

for the Titanic's maiden voyage.

A man who single-handedly
defeated the Retiree people...

of the Assisted-Living Nebula...

Zapp Brannigan!

Oh, God...

not Zapp Brannigan.

You know Zapp Brannigan?

Let's just say
we've crossed paths.

Was that before or after
you slept with him?

She's a beautiful
ship, all right.

Shapely, seductive.

I'm going to fly
her brains out.

And now, without further ado...

I christen this ship Titanic.

Uh-huh.

Oof!

Hmm.

Well, well, well...

the lady Leela.

Take notes, Kif.

You're about to witness
the subtle waltz...

known as seduction.

So, trapped on a ship with me.

What say you and I knock
some very sensual boots?

It's tempting but, uh...

I have a fiancé now.

Uh... Um... Uh...

Um... Uh... Well...

Uh, him!

Fry, darling,
meet Zapp Brannigan.

Huh?

How do you do?

Hmm.

Ah, here's my stateroom.

Whoa, where is it?
Come on.

Oh!

Now, Hermes...

you and your lovely wife,
LaBarbara...

have the suite through there.

And Dr. Zoidberg...

your marble t*nk
is on the other side.

Man, first class seems nice.

It'll seem even nicer
once you've seen your room.

Looks like we're on
the Fiesta deck.

This is it.

Well, at least we get a window.

Well, I'm tired of this
room and everyone in it.

If you'll excuse me, I'm going
to pop over to the casino...

for the next hours.

I think I'll go fill up
on bisque at the buffet.

I guess that just leaves you
and your fake fiancé...

all alone on a romantic cruise.

Take it off or I'll break it off.

Okay!

Captain's inspection.

Mm-hmm.

I'm betting it all.

Come on!

Baby needs a new pair of feet!

Snake eyes.

Wait, my cheating unit
malfunctioned.

You got to give me
a do-over.

Sorry, the house limit
is three do-overs.

Next sh**t.

Ah.

Give me your biggest,
strongest, cheapest drink.

You got it.

Allow me to introduce myself.

I'm Bender.

Charmed.

I'm the Countess De La Roca.

I was surprised to
see another robot...

staying in first class.

Most of the robots
I meet are laborers.

I assure you, I barely
know the meaning...

of the word "labor."

Oh, Mr. Bender.

Please, call me Bender.

Oh, well, goodness.

I-I don't...

Kif, I'm feeling
the captain's itch.

I'll get the powder, sir.

No, the itch for adventure.

Prepare to change course.

Sir, this is a leisure cruise.

Our path was set by
the travel agency.

That's for schoolgirls.

Now here's a route
with some chest hair.

But that course
leads directly...

through a swarm of comets.

Yes, comets.

The icebergs of the sky.

By jackknifing from
one to the next...

at breakneck speed...

we might just get some
kind of gravity boost...

or something.

It's time to shove a jalapeρo...

up this ship's tailpipe.

Divert power from the shields.

Full speed ahead.

Oh, yeah.

Amy! Hello!

Mom! Dad?

What are you doing here?

We were planning
on enjoying a relaxing vacation...

but since you're here,
we'll have to do some meddling.

We met the nicest boy
in the cabin next to ours.

He's not very ugly.

You should marry him...

or at least use him to conceive
a grandchild for us.

There he is at the buffet.

Uh, he seems really nice, but...

well, I already have a boyfriend.

Really? Where is he?

And why isn't he
here right now...

fathering our grandchild?

Uh...

Well, our accommodations
aren't great...

but it sure is beautiful
out here.

Yeah. It's pretty romantic.

I mean platonic.

Th-That sure is
one platonic view.

Fry, just be quiet.

I'm beginning to think
this whole fake fiancé thing...

was a terrible, terrible...

Hmm?

Mmm.

Leela, perhaps this
is an awkward time...

but if things don't work out
with this pip-squeak here...

I just want you to know...

I'll be there to score
you on the rebound.

Uh, look.

Before you get any crazy ideas,
that was for Zapp.

Well, you got
anything else for him?

All right.

Can we try not
to complicate this?

Mom, Dad...

I'd like you to meet Fry...

my boyfriend.

Hmm?

Mmm.

Mmm!

- Mmm.
- Mmm.

See you later, wuv-ums.

It would've been nice
if you'd told me...

you were going out with Amy.

I'm not going out with Amy.

It's just to fool her parents.

Hey, you're not jealous, are you?

What?

No, no, of course not.

Good. 'Cause I consider
my fake relationship with you...

a lot more meaningful.

Mind if I freshen up
a bit before we go out?

I was just about to suggest
the same thing.

Mmm? Mmm.

Pay dirt.

Lovely, isn't it?

Yeah.

But only % as lovely as you.

Oh, Bender.

Either that was
a computing error...

or you're the most
romantic robot I've ever met.

I don't get it, iZac.

That bracelet had a diamond...

the size of a raccoon's brain.

Why couldn't I steal it?

It's obvious, Mr. B.

You're in love.

Oh, it's true.

But we're star-crossed robots.

She, a countess...

built with a silver
spoon in her mouth.

And me, just a regular honest Joe.

Hey, you going to pay for those?

Hell, no.

Security to bar area.

Security to bar area.

Fellas, please...

I'm in love.

Rough him up.

Ow, oh, ooh, eh!

What are you doing?

This penniless chump...

was stealing drinks, ma'am.

I see.

Here you are, sir.

Keep the change.

You got it.

Oh!

Aha!

Go, Professor!

Lean back more!

Ow!

Come on, Hermes...

you could out-limbo
all of these people.

Don't be a dog hot, woman.

You know I can't.

Not after what happened.

Now limboing for the Earth team...

Hermes Conrad.

You're my hero, Hermes!

I'm going to be just like you.

No, boy, stop!

It's too low!

Your backbone can't take it!

I'm just like Hermes!

I'm just like...

Nooo!

There, there.

Now you don't have to
limbo if you don't want.

It doesn't make you
any less of a man.

Though it did get me
some action.

I like a man who's flexible.

Your attention, please.

As captain of this vessel...

the terrible burden
of naming a limbo contest winner...

is mine and mine alone.

Shouldn't you be steering
between the comets?

And the winner is...

Leela.

But I didn't even limbo.

No matter.

I know from personal experience
how horizontal you can get.

As your reward,
you and that hair pile...

are invited to dine...

at the captain's table
this evening.

Whoo!

Well, now you know...

I'm not actually rich.

I'm a fraud...

a poor, lazy, sexy fraud.

This isn't even a real bow tie,
it's magnetic.

Bender, I don't care
whether you have money.

I love you for
your artificial intelligence...

and your sincerity simulator.

You do?

Really?

I like your style, Fry.

You remind me of a young me.

Not much younger, mind you.

Perhaps even
a couple of years older.

Thank you, sir.

But as a gentleman,
I must warn you...

If you so much as glance
at another woman...

I'll be all over Leela
like a fly on a pile...

of very seductive manure.

Well, rest assured...

Leela's the only girl for me.

Hey, Fry.

- Amy.
- Leela.

Ah, the family Wong.

Our party is complete.

What are we going to do?

Fry can't pretend
to be both our boyfriends.

Sure, I can.

I learned how to handle
delicate social situations...

from a little show
called Three's Company.

I'd like to impose a toast
on the happy couple.

Down the hatch.

Hear, hear.

Now let's have a kiss.

Yes, Fry...

plant one on your woman.

Uh, let me think.

♪ Come and knock on our door ♪

♪ Na na na na na na ♪

Um, Mr. Roper...

What's the holdup?
Kiss my daughter already!

Wait. I'm confused.
Now, tell me, Fry...

Which one of these ladies...

are you involved with?

Uh...

♪ Na na na na na na ♪

Captain, may I have
a word with you?

No.

It's an emergency, sir.

Come back when it's
a catastrophe.

Oh, very well.

Well, with Zapp gone
and my parents still here...

I suggest Fry give me
a nice convincing kiss.

Ah, now there's something
we can all enjoy.

- Mmm.
- Mmm.

Hmm.

Sir, remember
your course correction?

No.

Well, it's proving
somewhat more suicidal...

than we'd initially hoped.

Kif, old friend...

I don't know which
disgusts me more...

your cowardice or your stupidity.

We'll simply set a new course...

for that empty region
over there...

near that blackish,
hole-ish thing.

Hey, Leela, why'd you
run off from dinner?

I didn't run off.

I had plenty of time
to finish eating and stroll away...

while you were kissing Amy.

Oh, look, I'm not actually
interested in her...

if that's what's bothering you.

Oh, are you sure?

I mean, she has two eyes.

You have two eyes.

I know... we seem
like a perfect match...

but I just don't feel that way
about her.

Nice nebula.

Yeah.

Looks like everybody's
got somebody...

except me.

And me.

Ow!

What was that?

Oh, my God. We're heading...

straight into a black hole.

Talk about a mood k*ller.

Don't blame yourself, Kif.

We were doomed from the start.

Nothing remains now...

but for the captain
to go down with the ship.

Why, that's surprisingly noble
of you, sir.

No. It's noble of you, Kif.

As of now, you're in command.

Congratulations, Captain.

Okay, we just have to get...

from here to the escape pods.

I'm too young to die.

Come on, before it's too late.

You all go without me.

I'm going to take
one last look around.

You know, for, uh,
stuff to steal.

You're going back
for the countess, aren't you?

All right. I am...

but I don't want
the others to know.

If I don't come back...

just say I d*ed
robbing some old man.

I'll tell him you went out
prying the wedding ring...

off his cold, dead finger.

I love you, buddy.

Countess!

Countess!

Bender!

I fell through the deck!

Are you hurt, my sweet?

No. Luckily,
a family broke my fall.

Just hang on.

I'll take care of that fire.

Bender...

you risked your life to save me.

And I'd do it again.

And perhaps a third time.

But that would be it.

- Mmm.
- Mmm.

When we kiss, I feel like
I'm standing waist deep...

in a pool of cold rising water.

No!

No!

Hurry.

The escape pods
should be just ahead.

Faster.

It won't move...

and the door release
is on the other side.

Then we're dead meat.

No one could squeeze
under there.

No one except a legendary
limbo champion.

Oh, Hermes.

Ooh, it's been a while.

Ah!

This one is for that little kid...

who's limboing
up in heaven right now.

That's my man.
All right, baby, limbo.

I still got the moves.

Zoidberg, lower the door
another inch.

Just go on through and hit
the release...

you hot dog.

Yes, dear.

That's my man.

Yeah, Hermes!

Uh, can somebody help me up?

Well, now what are we
going to do?

Wait a second.

Aren't you a member
of the yacht club?

By god, you're right.

I'm a class-three yacht.

Thank God there are
plenty of escape pods.

We won't have to dress up
like women and children.

We can't leave yet.

We've got to wait for Bender.

The high gravity must be slowing
down his looting.

Amy.

Mom, Dad...

you're alive.

Yeah, but so what?

The important thing is
we found you a new man.

A captain.

Oh, Mom, I don't...

Hi.

Hello.

I don't feel well.

Look, it's our nebula.

Whenever I see it, I'll
think back to that moment...

when we almost...

Never mind.

Everyone else is off the ship.

Where in Babylon is Bender?

I don't know...

but we can't wait any longer.

Good-bye, Bender.

Wait for us!

Something's wrong.

We're two metric tons overweight.

Well, it's not me.

Look!

I'm slipping, Bender.

The pull is too strong.

I can't live without you.

If you let go, I let go.

No. You have too much
to live for.

It may hurt for a while...

but one day you'll share
your love again.

After all...

it's shareware.

Don't talk like that.

Tragic romances always
have a happy ending.

Farewell.

Noooo!

She's gone.

But she saved all our lives.

Without her,
we're light enough to get away.

Don't cry, Bender.

Nobody really knows
what happens in a black hole.

It's possible she's still alive...

in another dimension somewhere.

Right, Professor.

Oh, yes, absolutely.

Not a chance.

At least I'll always have
her bracelet.

What do you think it's worth?

It's fake, mon.