07x08 - Fun on a Bun

[bunniefuu]

♪ Two... two, three... ♪

7x08
Fun on a Bun

(humming happily)

(Crunching, smacking)

(Belches)

Ugh! Fry!

That's disgusting!

What?
You double-dipped!

Geez.

Crew, you're working too hard.

Tell me about it.

For once,
I thought it might be nice

to do something
in a social setting...

Finally get to know each other.

Why, I don't even know
half your names!

You, boy.
What do they call you?

Most folks
just call me orange Joe.

So, Professor,
where are we gonna go?

It's July, right?

Let's wait three months
and go to Oktoberfest!

(All cheering)

All right, baby!

(Whooping)

Bring on the beer!

And the scantily-clad barmaids!

And the more beer!

Shh! (Playing refined version
of "the beer barrel polka")

Hey! I don't smell
bavarian-style vomit.

Where's Oktoberfest?

This is Oktoberfest...

the world's
most sophisticated exhibition

of German food, drink,
and culture.

Exquisite.

Care for another, sir?

No, I wouldn't want
to ruin my Oktoberfest

by becoming intoxicated.

What the hell is going on here?!

Fry, quiet.

Oktoberfest is
a classy celebration

of how far humans have evolved.

You can all act like
Jersey shore socialites,

but at least Bender
will party with me.

Right, buddy?

Whoa, whoa, whoa!

I enjoy partying as
much as the next fellow,

but this is Oktoberfest.

Good day, sir!

Ach du freakin' lieber!

A sausage contest, eh?

Sounds like fun on a bun!

Shut up!
I said it first!

Man:
Bam!

Also, ow.

Oh, my God,
it's celebrity chef Elzar!

Hey, Elzar, I've just recently
started always having dreamt

of being a sausage-making
champion.

Can I get in on this?

Sure, I don't care.

You bring your ingredients?

You bet!

(Snorts)

Hold on there, chief.

Regular old pork ain't
gonna win this thing.

You gotta get innovative
with your meat.

See chef Fritz over there?

He's only using the choicest
cuts of hummingbird.

Murakami-San got his hands on
a nice rack of angel wings.

Gonna grind 'em up
into heavenwurst.

And me?

I'm making my spice-weaseled
bratwurst outta pork.

So you are using pork!

Pork that's been aged
for 3,000 years!

Bam!

Aw, man! I can't b*at that
with a Craigslist pig.

(Pig grunts)

Sorry, grundy.

I'll have to k*ll you later
for some other reason.

(Orchestra playing
elegant music)

(Grunting)

Sit up straight!

The countess Von Luftballoon
is watching.

Ach!

Man, all the fun
has been taken out

of this once-noble
barf-a-palooza.

You just say that
because you're primitive.

People in your day were
backwards and crude.

Well, at least we were hammered!

Oh, I'm as thirsty as a drunk.

Where do all these
child-sized beers come from?

See that magnificent

heavily guarded cask?

All the beer's in there.

(Slurps, sighs)

(Spitting)

Not all the beer.

(Drunkenly):
Yay! Whoo-hoo!

Fahrvergnügen!

Kaiser permanente!

Fru... frusen gladje!

Fry! You're
embarrassing us!

I don't care!
I'm finally having fun!

Hey, come on,
you keister-meisters!

Eins, zwei, drei, vier!

Lift your Stein
and drink your beer!

Ich bin ein never!

Oh!

(Orchestra playing refined
version of "the chicken dance")

Whoa!

Even with harps,
that's still the famous

Oktoberfest chicken dance!

(All groaning, gasping)

Oh, I almost forgot!

(Chicken hats squeaking)

Get das Booty up here, Leela!

I brought his-and-her
chicken hats!

(Squeaks)

Okay, that's it.

You are a boorish,
primitive neanderthal!

Neander-(Hiccups)-Thal?

Yes.
And I've had enough!

I'm breaking up with you!

(Gasps)

We were going out?!

Whoo!

I mean, nooo!

And keep your stupid
chicken hat, too!

(Weeps quietly)

...and-and the worst part is,
I had to have

the breakup sex by myself!

(Sobs)

Fry, some of us
have real problems.

I just learned there are people

with fancier
sausage meats than me!

(Sobbing)

I hate future Oktoberfest!

It's supposed to be beer and
bratwurst, not breakups and...

Boring thing!

German narrator:
For hundreds of years,

Oktoberfest has been held here,
in the fertile neander valley,

where prehistoric man
once hunted

the majestic schnüfel-üfagus,
or woolly mammoth.

To this day, paleontologists
sometimes find entire mammoths

frozen in
the valley's icy glaciers,

perfectly preserved for exactly
30,000 years or so.

Bender:
Wait a minute...

Mammoth meat aged
for 30,000 years?

Prize-winning sausage
meat, here I come!

(Beeping rhythmically)

I didn't know this ship
had a mammoth detector.

You're drunk, Fry.

This is the elephant detector.

I just set it
to "big and woolly."

(Beeping)

Mammoth ahoy!

Uh, Bender?

I smell burning tusk.

That's probably it.

k*ll the engine.

(Bender grunting)

(Grunting echoing)

(Grunting with effort)

(Grunting)

(Chuckling)

Wait till those judges

get their hands
on my mammoth sausage!

(Whooping)

(Screams)

My hair is caught!

Bender! Turn it off!

(Yelling)

♪ Sausage is great,
sausage is great ♪

♪ Sausage, sausage,
sausage... ♪

Ziss sausage is great!

You, mein robot,
move on to the next round.

Shut up, judge, I know it.

Way to go, Bender!

Can I try a piece?

You can have yourself
a whole big boy.

Mmm... mmm! That's good.

Where's Fry?

I don't know.

Last I saw, he was jumping up
and down in my meat grinder.

By the way, you got a little
something right there.

Mmm!

This is the best sausage
I've ever tasted!

(Choking)

Oh, my God! That looks
like Fry's hair!

Oh, come on, don't make jokes
like that while I'm eating.

(Screaming)

Poor Philip.

He looks so peaceful.

It's tragedy on a bun.

(Sobbing)

I ate Fry!

I broke up with my boyfriend
and then I ate him!

Oh, now, now, we've
all been there.

The pain and guilt are too much!

I can't go on
knowing what I've done!

(Belches, smacks)

(Wailing):
Oh, Fry!

Can you really remove
all my memories of Fry?

Oh, they'll still
be there, hon.

I'm just gonna snip the links

between them
and your conscious brain.

Like this one here:
"Fry falls off zoo train."

He thought he recognized
one of the monkeys!

What was I crying about?

Oh, we were just
cuttin' onions, honey.

Let's keep going.

Fry sits on a pie...

Fry finds popcorn in
his belly button...

You eat a sausage
made of Fry...

Fry gives you a chicken hat...

Aw, that's sweet.

♪ Good morning!

Geez, who d*ed?

I don't know how Bender and I do
all this work by ourselves.

Maybe we should hire
a delivery boy.

You mean like
(Muffled): Fry?

Bender, shh!

We have to be careful
not to remind her!

What about my feelings?

Fry was my best friend...

And now he's dead!

(Sobbing loudly)

Nah, I'm just kidding.

My pastor helped me
through my grief.

(Humming happily)

Bender's a jerk,
but he's right.

We've all got to accept
that Fry is gone forever.

Whoa...

Where happened?

What am I?

♪ Sausage is great,
sausage is great ♪

♪ Sausage, sausage,
sausage... ♪

(Screaming)

Whew!

That was close.

(Screaming)

(Chicken hat squeaks)

Whew!

(Yelling)

(Groaning)

(Muffled):
Help! Boy trapped in ice!

Oh, thank you, thank you.
(Gasps)

(Trumpeting)

(Growling)

(Roaring)

(Grunts) How you get frozen?

Oh, I don't know.

I think I whanged
my head pretty bad.

(Grunts) Look normal to me.

The last thing I remember
is losing all my memories.

Who am I, one of you?

Me think so.

Anyone dumb enough
get stuck in ice

probably neanderthal.

Neanderthal?

Yeah, I think somebody
called me that.

I'm kind of chilly.

I don't suppose you have a...

(Animal bleats)

Ooh, still warm!

So, what's this
delivery to McPluto?

53 tons of hamburgers

and French frr... agments
of not potatoes.

Fragments of not potatoes?

Yep. They get a big shipment
every fri... Saturday!

What's this?
(Squeaks)

Oh, it's some
kind of chicken hat!

It's cute.

So why does it make me feel...

I don't know... sad?

(Grunting)

(Panting)

(Snorting)

(Sighs sadly)

Why you stare at
prehistoric pig butt?

Because it makes me feel happy

and confused
and wistful and sad.

All neanderthal sad.

It in our nature.
Why?

It all start 30,000 year ago,

in fertile neander valley.

Gugg:
Life for our ancestors peaceful

until h*m* sapiens arrive.

We suggest interbreed,

become one big happy species.

But they treat us like
second-class hominid.

They drive us from valley,
and we end up living here,

in isolated crevice.

We figure, "whatever."

But then we get trapped
by encroaching ice age.

Now we sealed in,
under sky of ice.

So my sadness
makes perfect sense.

And I do have vague memories

of people refusing
to breed with me!

(Cawing)

A raven's brought
word for you, sir.

Guys, guys!

My sausage made the finals
at Oktoberfest!

We gotta go back
for the closing ceremony!

Oktoberfest?

(Hat squeaks)

Sounds like fun!

Chief!

Me find huge hole
melted in ice,

out past Cesar Chavez Ridge!

Hole go all the way outside!

This very interesting.

Maybe someone look into it,
many years from now.

But, chief, this means
we're not trapped any more!

It's our chance to
take back the outside world

from those stuck-up
h*m* sapiens with their

tools and their pants and such.

My fellow big-brows!
Are you with me?

(Cheering)

(Sighs sadly)

You've been staring at that
pumpkin for like, five seconds.

What's up?

It's... it's something
about the color.

(Sniffles)

Oh, boo-hoo.

Why are you crying now,
you depressed lunatic?

I don't know.

I should be happy.

Bender's sausage
just won third place.

Third place?

This is the greatest injustice

Germany has ever committed!

Ah, Leela, we meet again.

But this time I'm the one
criticizing the sausage.

(Rumbling)

Ah...
(Gasps)

(Screams, gasps)

(Trumpeting, w*r cries)

Dear God, look at those
hairy elephantés!

k*ll all modern humans!

Hey, this guy's all right.

(Grunts)

(Trumpeting)

(Mammoths trumpeting)

Battalion A, smash things!

Battalion B,
smash different things!

(Yelling)

(Gulping)

(Panting, gulping)

(Trumpeting)

(Screaming)

♪

Aw, yeah.
Second place!

Release the giant sloth!

(Roars)

(Screaming)

(Screaming continues)

(Takes deep breath)

(Screaming)

Do something!

Fear not, Leela.

They may not have
technology, like us,

but we have something
they don't have: Technology.

Behold our latest w*apon,

a revolutionary fleet
of unmanned drones.

With men in them.

Then how are they unmanned?

The men are just for ballast.

I control all the drones
from this single unit.

Foolproof and durable,
it's designed to withstand

even the weight of
a modern-day elephant foot.

(Mammoth trumpets,
brannigan screams)

(Men screaming)

(Bored, sustained scream)

(Screams) Ar, ar, ar!

Chef Fritz, thank God
you're all right! Oh.

Come with me, I'll protect you!

(Laughs evilly)

(Crackling)

Neanderthals, load catapult!

Up here in the clouds, our
technology makes us invincible,

like the mighty "x"
in tic-tac-toe.

Look at those pathetic
cavemen down there,

loading their silly
catapult with...

What is that, Kif?

(Snarling, screaming)

I believe it's a
saber-tooth cat, sir.

(Screaming)

I guess it's just me and
you, chicken hat. (Squeaks)

Die, you primitive brute!

(Trumpeting)

(Primitive battle cry)

(Battle cry)

(Grunting)

What do you neanderthals want?

We want our land back!

Also, to be treated as equals!

And a little mating
wouldn't hurt!

(Hat squeaks)

Orange?

Purple?

Do I know you?
Have we met?

(People screaming,
weapons f*ring)

(Mammoths trumpeting)

What orange-hair doing
with h*m* sapien?

Uh...
Look like interbreeding.

(Grunting painfully)

You want make love, not w*r?

Jawohl!

This change everything,
tight-clothes-man.

We forgive h*m* sapiens

for actions of stuck-up ancestors.
So be it.

In recognition of your
overwhelming victory,

let's call it a draw.

(Cheering)

Fry?

(Liquid gurgling)

Leela?

I didn't recognize you with
your head all swollen.

But it looks better now.

I guess the blood must have
rushed somewhere else.

Guys, guys!

Chef Fritz accidentally got
thrown down an icy slope!

I'm the sausage champion!

Whoo! No further
questions!

(People talking, laughing)

(Playing polka)

Man:
Rounds for everybody! Ha!

Yah! Yah! Yah!

(Laughing)

Now this is Oktoberfest!

Just like the olden days.

I have to admit,
your version is more fun.

(Band starts playing
"the chicken dance")

(Gasps)

They're playing our stupid song!

Care to join me?

No, Leela.

Just this once, I'm going
to let you embarrass me.

♪