02x06 - Never Avenge Yourselves, But Leave It to the Wrath of God

Episode transcripts for the TV show "The Righteous Gemstones". Aired: August 18, 2019 –; present.*
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Series follows a famous yet dysfunctional family of televangelists.
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02x06 - Never Avenge Yourselves, But Leave It to the Wrath of God

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[TV STATIC DRONES]

[BRIGHT TONE]

[RAPID g*nf*re]

[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]

[ENGINES REVVING]

m*therf*cker.

[TIRES SQUEALING]

♪♪

[g*nshots]

sh*t!

[g*nshots]

♪♪

Run, m*therf*ckers!

Run!

Look, I'm just wondering,
what'd y'all do to cause it?

Did y'all flip somebody off on the road?

Did Amber stand up in her car seat

and press her ass against the window

and flash her bleached butthole?

Oh, my God. Judy, we were att*cked.

We were targeted for assassination.

- [LAUGHS]
- Don't jump to conclusions.

Thank you. Seriously, I'm sorry.

Y'all aren't important
enough to be assassinated.

Sheriff, what's your take on this?

Oh, maybe it was teenagers up
to no good, botched robbery.

- Botched robbery.
- Teenagers?

f*ck off. They were assassins, okay?

I seriously doubt they were pros.

Why would you seriously doubt that?

Mainly because they didn't
even manage to wound anybody.

Damn, Brenda. [LAUGHS]

Where the f*ck do our tax
dollars even go towards?

Hey!

Baby, don't be kicking chairs.

No, it's fine. It's fine.

He's been through a
traumatic experience.

Probably feels powerless. I get it.

I'm powerless too, Daddy.

Daddy, I can't be confined
to my house all day

with Aunt Tiffany living there.

Judy, not now.

No, Daddy, why...

Why do I have to be the
one to shelter this woman?

When she cleans up, Daddy,
she does it with vinegar.

My whole house smells like assh*le.

Enough of this selfishness!

Aunt Tiffany is family.
She has been abandoned.

The poor girl is pregnant
and has nowhere else to go.

Christ, Judy, are you
incapable of caring

about anybody but yourself?

Damn, Daddy, that was really mean.

BJ?

You just gonna sit there mute?

[TENSE MUSIC]

What the hell are we
doing in there, Daddy?

Huh? Putting on a little
show for the sheriff?

Come on, we know what the deal is.

Your little running buddy
from Memphis tried to k*ll us.

Maybe.

But I want you, your
family, your siblings

to stay put on the compound
till I deal with it.

I don't want you getting involved.

Well, the Cycle Ninjas came for me,

so I am involved.

Cycle Ninjas?

Yeah. That's what I'm calling 'em.

You think this is a
f*cking movie or something.

Oh, come on, Daddy. When
you broke Kelvin's thumbs,

I saw a side of you I knew
was in there this whole time.

You talk to him?

He don't call me none.

You live down the street from him.

Well, we ain't friends like
we were when we were kids.

What do you want me to
say? Kelvin grew up a nerd.

This damn family has
everything in the world,

but you can't just all
get along with one another.

So says the man that broke
his son's thumbs, all right?

Let's not throw sticks
and stones, Daddy.

I been feeling outlaw blood
coursing through these veins

since I could piss standing up.

I know I get that from you.

Let's handle this sh*t together.

Don't get involved.

I'm not gonna tell you again.

[OMINOUS MUSIC]

♪♪

Look at me,

a grotesque reflection
of what I once was.

Healing takes time.

I'm too hurt to get dressed, Keefe.

I shall remain hidden
like the beast I've become.

Hey.

Dressing for the day,

it soothes the soul.

[SIGHS]

[DRAMATIC MUSIC]

♪♪

Now step into your Tommy Johns.

[GRUNTS]

[GROANS]

Ah.

Nice.

Ah.

Boop.

[UNINTELLIGIBLE YELLING]

The men think I'm bullshit now.

No. Not all of 'em.

Just Torsten, Jericho,
Cody, Sky, William,

and a few others.

Seems they moved into the house.

Inside?

D... Keefe, no!

Well, last night, I-I
tried to call curfew,

but they would not
retire to their yurts.

And then William started snickering,

and Sky and Jericho did middle fings.

And I cannot confirm
as of yet, but I believe

they've been letting Titus
out of his cage at night.

Our empire is crumbling.

Hey.

You have got to show them

how strong you still are

physically...

and mentally.

Prove to them that
your will is not broken,

even though your thumbs are.

♪♪

_

Baby William Freeman.

No, he's not a baby.

He's a slender, silver-haired
man in his late s.

Okay. Thank you.

[SIGHS]

How many hospitals you call?

Every one within miles.

What if he had a stroke

and he's walking far
and yonder all confused,

not even knowing his own name?

Why would his phone be cut off?

Dead battery?

Maybe he lost it.

You really think that's more likely

than him just leaving you?

With Lionel on the way?

Baby Billy would never.

Could it be he's still
out looking for Funyuns

and when he comes back, he'll
have his whole car full of 'em?

No.

[SCOFFS] No, dear.

That could never be.

You poor dumb hill person.

That's really what you
imagine in your mind right now?

That is so sad and tragic.

I just... I can't...
I can't even with this.

[SOMBER MUSIC]

[SNIFFLES] Niece,

tell me he's not dead.

[SOBBING]

♪♪

So the bad guys got away?

No! They didn't get away.

Amber sh*t one of 'em.

Amber, you did?

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

Oh. Yeah, girl.

Come through, Amber! Yes!

- Good job, Amber.
- Thank you.

Heck, even Waylon was impressed.

It's like when David slew Goliath.

Amber, the cr*ck sh*t.
[IMITATES g*nf*re]

- Pew.
- [LAUGHS] Pew.

- Pew.
- You know,

except for it's not like that at all,

because David slew Goliath with a sling.

Amber maybe sh*t a motorcycle man

with a semiautomatic handgun.

So... I ma-wait, I maybe sh*t him?

I... he went down.

But it is open for
debate of who did that.

I mean, we both were going pretty nuts.

- You got to admit that.
- No one's questioning that.

- No. Shouldn't be.
- But...

- Shouldn't be questioning that.
- It was me

who tagged that scumbag from yards.

[LAUGHTER]

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

Girl power!

That's sexist.

Popped his ass.

Look, I ain't trying
to take nothing away.

All I'm saying is, if
we're all gonna be talking

about this one particular
part of the as*ault,

let's get the facts straight.

There was question.

- There was no question.
- Well, there was to me, okay?

I witnessed my own things as well.

- We are so lucky to be alive.
- We are.

'Cause I sh*t that man.

We love you, Amber!

Go off, queen!

- [ALL CHANTING] Amber, Amber, Amber...
- Uh, shh. All right.

Amber, Amber, Amber, Amber!

- [LAUGHS]
- Okay, guys.

This isn't a pep rally. Knock it off.

Let's not lose sight of why we're here,

and that's that most of you have

f*cked your marriages up, okay?

Don't make this about my wife
doing stuff better than me,

okay?

Focus on you

and the things you've done
to ruin your own lives.

Psh. Ooh, man.

The way Amber was, uh, making a big joke

about how you didn't
sh**t any of those guys

had my blood boiling for you, Jesse.

Reminded me of all the times

Mandy used to do that
kind of sh*t to me.

Okay, Chet, I know you're
trying to help, all right,

but I'd really appreciate
if you would just

knock the f*cking
chime-ins off, all right?

I don't know what the
hell you're talking about.

Jess,

I want you to know that I'm here for you

in spirit during these troubling times,

even though I'm not allowed
to socialize with you.

Yeah. Same here, Jesse.

I got nothing going on.

Hey, why don't we grab some...

Some craft beers, sink some suds?

Why don't you sink your own suds?

How could you possibly
expect me to drink craft beers

when there's f*cking
K*llers on the loose?

Talking about beers
in front of Levi's mom.

Really?

[TENSE MUSIC]

[LAUGHTER]

Whole church sucking my wife's d*ck.

I know that you guys have
been worried about me.

But worry not.

Even if my hands are weak,

the spiritual power that
is running through me

is as strong as ever.

And the God Squad will be fully prepped

for all the missions that lay ahead.

But first,

my zero-guilt, low-cal
strawberry shortcake

Bahama bro smoothies!

Just a little sweet treat
to let the God Squad know

that not only are we surviving.

We are thriving.

There's no reason to question.

These yummy smoothies prove it.

Let's huddle up, have
a quick prayer about it.

Everybody grab a hand.

Ow! Keefe, not me, obviously.

I have a broken hand. That'd be silly.

Okay, bro, I got to ask.

How are you supposed to do
any missions with those thumbs?

I mean, can you even lift a smoothie?

Yeah, I'm pretty sure I can grab a cup.

See, you just...

You got to get on the side of it.

Got it.

And I'm holding a cup.

[LAUGHTER]

Oh, is that funny?

Is that a ha-ha, Sky?

No, I was just remembering the time

you got b*at up by your dad.

[RAUCOUS LAUGHTER]

[IMITATES expl*si*n]

Stop, okay? No.

Sky.

Begone. I have had enough.

Wrong!

We've had enough!

I challenge you, Kelvin Gemstone.

ALL: Ooh.

Torsten, what's going on?

You are my gentle giant.

This group is about strength.

I'm the strongest. I should be leader.

Okay.

You challenge me?

Then you must bear the cross!

f*ck it! Let's do it!

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

- Let's go!
- Go, Torsten!

Smoothies were a bad idea, Keefe.

[INTENSE MUSIC]

♪♪

[NO AUDIBLE DIALOGUE]

[GRUNTS]

[GRUNTING]

♪♪

[ROARS]

♪♪

[YELLS]

He got it up.

[ALL CHEERING]

[YELLS]

Now it's your turn.

Okay.

Brother Kelvin is injured.

So in the spirit of fairness,

I will act as his second.

If I lift it, our leader
he shall remain.

Reset the cross!

[ALL CHEERING]

♪♪

You don't have to... okay.

♪♪

[STRAINING]

[PANTING]

[GRUNTING]

♪♪

[LAUGHTER]

Get it off him! Get it off him!

♪♪

I'm sorry I failed you.

Do you concede?

No.

No!

Clean your underwears out of the master.

Torsten stays there now.

Yes! Torsten.

You know, I'm not
trying to bring stuff up,

but I really do think
it could've been me

who sh*t that Cycle Ninja.

Good job, Dad.

Word.

Oh, please.

Mom sh*t him.

Dad's the one who
butchered all his sh*ts.

What the f*ck did you just say?

Dad can't sh**t worth a sh*t.

I'll sh**t you. Go to
your room right now.

Go to bed.

Both of you. Movie night's over with.

Your brother just ruined
the movies for everybody.

You little sassy ass!

Everybody's saying that.

I feel like there's a g*dd*mn
narrative being established,

and I don't like it.

Like I didn't do enough to
protect you or something.

Baby.

I don't think that.

I love that your instinct
was to just get out there

and start sh**ting.

You didn't hit any of 'em,
but your instincts were right.

And if you were a better sh*t,

you would have hit
every single one of 'em

before I even got out of the bus.

Aw, you're just saying
that to make me feel better.

I was worthless.

Now Daddy's got me handcuffed.
I can't lead the church.

I can't even protect
my own f*cking family.

I don't know why we're waiting

for your daddy's permission.

It's his fault this happened anyway.

I don't even know why he gets a say.

If you want to protect
your family, baby,

just do it.

Send a f*cking message.

[TENSE MUSIC]

♪♪

Sir, I want to apologize for
throwing cake at the baptism.

For what it's worth, I was
trying to hit my sister, KJ,

in the face, but I missed.

Maybe next time, don't throw cake.

It just seems like the
only way to be heard

in this family is to go to battle.

I-I mean, look at you.

You broke your own son's thumbs.

BJ, are you here to lecture me?

Dr. Gemstone, I respect you
enough to tell you the truth.

You may think I'm out of line,

but this family is dysfunctional.

Judy wants your approval
first and foremost.

Judy could tell me that herself.

Daddy, it's just that...

Nope. We're not doing that.

Fair enough. I-I pushed it.

Dr. Gemstone,

it's just that Judy
tends to hold things in

until she can't anymore.


And I think sometimes, by
the time she lets it out,

it's been soaking in
pain and anger for so long

that it lands a little weird.

Or too loud or too mean.

It all just comes from hurt, though.

Seems like maybe a Gemstone trait.

Thank you for this man-to-man.

I hope we can have more
man-to-mans in the future.

[GRUNTS]

Okay. I'll see my own way out.

BJ.

Wait.

Thanks for stopping by.

[TENDER MUSIC]

♪♪

I've summoned y'all here today

to this secret location meetup

for our own prayer group,

the Second Chance Men.

We can get in a lot of
trouble for doing this, Jess.

We're only supposed
to meet with the wives.

Yeah.

This better be good.

Look, we talk a lot
about second chances,

about the concessions one must make

to redeem and restore faith.

But I'm interested in talking
about something else tonight.

Here.

Take one and pass 'em around.

Inside that box are
exact scientific replicas

of the sling David used to slay Goliath.

Check 'em out.

See how light and
insignificant it seems.

Yet with God's will, it
can take down a giant.

Pop him right in his
f*cking head and k*ll him.

Who here believes that
protecting families

is important?

Levi, you don't have a family,

but when you get one, you'll understand.

- I understand.
- No, but I'm saying,

once you get one, you're
gonna understand more, okay?

Look, let's not argue.

I need some fellas I can trust
to help handle some business

regarding my family down in Memphis.

Tennessee?

Yeah, Gregory. Is there
another f*cking Memphis?

Well, actually, there is.

There's this little
ancient city in Egypt...

All right, well, we're not going

to ancient Egypt, you m*therf*cker.

I need some dudes to
go f*ck some people up,

to go b*at the sh*t out of some guys.

You want a second chance?

How 'bout a second
chance at being a man?

ALL: Yeah!

I said how 'bout a second
chance at being a f*cking man?

ALL: Yeah!

Uh, Jesse, should we bring the slings?

Yes, Matthew.

Hence the reason I'm
f*cking passing 'em out.

That's right, feel that ancient

masculine energy streaming
through those bodies.

Ancient k*lling power.

[INTENSE MUSIC]

♪♪

[DRAMATIC PERCUSSIVE MUSIC]

♪♪

[BIRD SQUAWKING]

- Good evening, Dr. Gemstone.
- [GASPS]

Oh, it's raining.

Thank you for the acknowledgement.

Night-night.

[ETHEREAL MUSIC]

♪♪

Mind if we talk?

Are you gonna break my toes now too?

Stomp on my skull, maybe?

Sit on my ribs?

Well, go on, Daddy.

Do me.

Kelvin, I feel awful about this.

Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that.

Poor you. I can't even take a pee

without Keefe holding my dong,

or I'll spray it all over my face.

And you feel awful?

You know what kills me?

Everyone sees me as a joke.

I'm the baby of the family,

the youth pastor who peaked at .

I work my butt off so
you don't see me as that.

And how do you respond?

You broke my thumbs.

Turned me into a laughingstock.

You know, I was a different
person before I met your mama.

She changed me.

Sometimes I feel like I'm
turning into that person again.

I will never forgive
myself for hurting you.

Well, that makes two of us.

I'm so sorry for everything, son.

You should go.

They'll be back soon.

[SOMBER MUSIC]

♪♪

- Son?
- Leave

before the men return!

♪♪

His name was Harmon.

Did something happen to him?

Same thing that happened to Lionel.

Baby Billy peaced out,
refused to be a daddy to him.

My mama and daddy paid
for all his school,

bought his shoes, all that mess.

Baby Billy didn't see Harmon no more.

Baby Billy's not that kind of man.

[LAUGHS] Of course he is.

All these dudes around
here are f*cked up.

[DOOR CLICKS OPEN AND SHUT]

Your daddy...

He shook my hand.

[LAUGHS]

[ENGINES REVVING]

Welcome to the pain!

[CROWD CHEERING, MUSIC BLARING]

Got any blow?

♪♪

Ow-ow-ow!

Yeah!

[GROANS]

[TENSE MUSIC]

♪♪

d*ck's out, playboy.

I'm aware.

I take my d*ck out when I pee, Jesse.

Why you watching me?

Not watching you,

hunting you.

Oh, son of a bitch.

[LAUGHS]

What is this, a joke?

Does this look like a joke?

It'll blast a f*cking hole in you,

make you dead if I pull this trigger.

You want to come after families?

You want to try to
f*cking k*ll my family?

How 'bout I k*ll your f*cking family?

Grandparents, kids,

special needs.

Chop their f*cking heads off.

Okay, Chad. Shh.

I'm doing the threats, okay?

r*pe 'em.

The f*ck are you talking about, Matthew?

- We're not raping people.
- Not the women.

Not the wom... We don't r*pe women.

No, guys! Okay, enough.

I'm the f*cking spokesman
of the threats, okay?

No one's being r*ped tonight!

And if anybody was to be
r*ped tonight, it'd be you.

We'd all take our dicks

and jam them so deep into your assh*le

and show you how we handle sickos.

You got some balls on you, boy.

Remind me of your daddy
when he was a young man.

Yeah? I do got balls.

Big balls. You want to
know what else I got?

Stones.

Levi.

Release.

[GLASS SHATTERS]

What in the f*ck?

Come for my family one more
time, and I will end you.

Everything we talked about
here tonight will happen.

You dead, family dead.

Head chop-offs, r*pes, all of it!

Who the f*ck do you think you are?

I'm Jesse Gemstone,

son of Eli,

grandson of Roy,

father of Gideon, Abraham, and Pontius,

and quite possibly the
last m*therf*cker you see

on this planet if you
don't leave my family alone.

Release!

Ah, ah!

Oh! Oh, ah, ah!

Ah, ah.

[TRIUMPHANT MUSIC]

♪♪

Have I made myself clear this evening?

You got it, Jesse.

Psh.

Yeah, you're g*dd*mn right, I've got it.

Psh.

Forget that this ever happened.

But don't forget about the stuff I said

would happen if you don't...

If you do this stuff to my
family again, m*therf*cker.

[DRAMATIC MUSIC]

♪♪

Go! Go, go. Run. Run. Go, go.

♪ Na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na ♪

♪ Na, na, na, na, na, na-na, na ♪

♪ Na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na ♪

♪ Na, na, na, na, na, na-na, na-na ♪

♪ Sing that sweet, sweet
song of salvation ♪


♪ And let your laughter fill the air ♪

♪ Sing that sweet, sweet
song of salvation ♪


♪ And tell the people everywhere ♪

♪ Sing that sweet, sweet
song of salvation ♪


♪ To every man and every nation ♪

♪ Sing that sweet, sweet
song of salvation ♪


♪ And let the people know ♪

♪ That Jesus cares ♪

♪ Sing that sweet, sweet song ♪

♪ Calling, just ♪

- ♪ Calling ♪
- ♪ Calling ♪

♪ Me ♪

♪ Me ♪

♪ Faraway places ♪

♪ With strange-sounding names ♪

♪ Far away over ♪

[ENGINES REVVING]

[TIRES SCREECHING]

♪ Faraway places ♪

♪ With strange-sounding names ♪

♪ Are calling ♪

♪ Calling me ♪

[DRAMATIC MUSIC]

♪♪

[g*nf*re]

[ENGINES REVVING]

♪♪

[HORN BLARING]

[LIGHT CLICKING]
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