07x06 - Cirque du Soul

Episode transcripts for the TV show "Psych". Aired: July 7, 2006 – March 26, 2014.*

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Follows Shawn who works for the police department which allows him to convince people that he solves cases with psychic abilities.
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07x06 - Cirque du Soul

Post by bunniefuu »

Previously on Psych...

I hope you weren't saving
this stool for somebody else.

Do I know you?

Oh!

Marlowe Viccellio.

How'd you find me?

I felt something.

So did I.

The only thing it compares to

is the rush of jubilation
I felt

when I heard Chuck Norris speak

at an NRA convention
in Aberdeen.

Marlowe Viccellio,
this is the police.

Okay, so I did take the blood,

but only because
I'm trying to make ends meet.

But I promise,
I didn't k*ll anybody.

- You're under arrest.
- What?

Marlowe, I would move heaven
and earth to be with you,

just as long as
that movement's in accordance

with the state laws
of California.

See ya, Marlowe!

Ooh, girl, go get him!

Oh!

Mmm!

Are you Shawn Spencer?

My name is Zola.

I am a contortionist
with Le Cirque.

Oh, a contortionist.

Ah, well, that explains
how you were able to slip in

while I was doing a pull--
I mean, 150 pull-ups.

Actually, you were
kicking your legs so wide,

it was easy to walk underneath.

Man, you know
you could have helped me.

I am the one in need of help.

Two weeks ago,

our star performer,
Francois Angelo,

started acting anxious,
almost paranoid.

I fear he's in trouble.

Can you psychically find him?

Here's the thing.

Um, my psychic powers
generally don't kick in

until someone's been missing
for 48 hours,

unless, of course,
that person is Eddie Murphy,

from the movie 48 Hours,

but sadly, I fear
he's lost forever.

Hmm.

Uh, you let me know
if your buddy Francois

is missing in a couple days.

We'll see what we can do.

Oh, no.
I will wait here.

Go back to your pull-up.

I tell you what.
I'm gonna take this.

Oh! Thank you so much,
Shawn Spencer.

Uh, you should come

to today's dress rehearsal
before the show.

Maybe you can divine
something there, no?

- Backstage pass?
- Uh-huh.

- Great.
- Yeah. Merci.

- Thank you.
- Thank you.

- Some more rising, huh?
- Keep trying.

I do, like, 100 of these a day.

Really?

Maximus?
What are you do--

Hey, Shawn.

Hey, what's up, man?

What's up, Rach?
Ray-Ray?

Chel?

Professor Willard
d*ck Peter Johnson.

You have a problem
with "Rachael"?

It's a classic girl's name,
like "Shawn."

Ray-Ray.

Maximus, my man.
Boom! Who's da--pssh!

Yeah, boy.
Who got the ball?

Uh, you know,
don't worry about Max.

He's always tough on people

until he really
gets to know them.

Really?
I'm not worried at all.

I have a k*ller day planned.

- He is gonna love it.
- Of course he will.

Now, here is everything
you need.

And remember, if you run
out of things to talk about,

you can never go wrong
with Star Wars.

The original or prequels?

- Come on, son.
- You come on, son.

- Come on, son.
- Come on, son.

- Come on, son.
- Come on, son.

- Come on, son.
- You come on, son.

Time out.
What is this?

- She's doing our "Come on, sons"?
- No.

Oh, Shawn, don't be such
a Filipino Steve Perry.

That doesn't make any sense.

Watch your boo do his thing.

Hey, little man.

Which one of these fun things
you want to do

for our big boy day?

- The planetarium?
- Mm-mm.

The aquarium?

Mm-mm.

- Old Sonora Western Town?
- No.

Santa's Year-Round Village?

No.

The Yerden Estate tour?

Mm-mm.

- Le Cirque?
- Not now, Shawn.

- Yeah, the circus.
- No, whoa. Not so fast.

Le Cirque?

Who's gonna stay up
with him all night

when he's having nightmares
about the clowns

and the freaky-freaks
in the show?

I will.

Not that me and your mom
are having any sleepovers.

Please, mom?

Look, it'll be fine.

I promise, he's in great hands.

What?
It's the circus, kid.

What? What?

Uh, Shawn,
I thought that you said

we were going
to the Le Cirque show.

Yeah. This is
a dress rehearsal.

Yes, but we promised Max that
he would be seeing the show.

And he will.

Just without all the unnecessary
excitement and entertainment.

Now, what is Jeffrey Duke
doing here?

- Who?
- Really? Jeffrey Duke?

He makes the Mercedes
of port-o-potties,

and I should know
because I've peed in both.

He's also one of the most
ruthless wise guys around.

He's the Gotti of potties.

He's the Don of the Johns.

He's--he's number one
at going--

Shawn.

Hey, does that guy
look suspicious to you?

What is going on?

It's like
we're on an investigation.

Oh, my gosh.

We are on an investigation,
aren't we?

- Define "investigation."
- Unbelievable.

No, that is the definition
of "not believable."

And all this time,

I thought you were just
trying to help me out.

Did it ever even occur to you

that this might put me
in trouble with Rachael?

And what about if something
had happened to Max?

Oh, please.

May God strike me dead

if anything happens
to this kid, okay?

Oh, I hope this goes well.

Oh, you just relax

and let your honeybear
take care of everything.

Once your parole officer

sees that he's dealing
with one of his brethren,

it will be smooth sailing
from here on out.

Okay.

We can finally
get on with our lives.

- Ready?
- Yes.

- What?
- That's Ursula Gibbs.

Oh, so you know her?
Even better.

Well...
Okay, here's the thing.

Um, I might have hooked up

with Ursula a few years back

after an inter-departmental
drink mixer

and I might have not ever
called her afterwards

when it was discovered
that she might be

an obsessive, vindictive,
vengeful loon.

Still, you should have
called her.

I think it would be best

if she didn't know
you were my girlfriend.

Ah, got it.

So I'm here,
assisting Ms. Viccellio

on a professional basis.

I was involved
in her initial criminal case,

and I can attest to the fact

that she is completely
rehabilitated.

Hmm. I see.

I'll take your professional
endorsement into consideration

when determining
the conditions of parole.

The first item to deal with
is place of residence.

Ms. Viccellio is free to live
wherever in the city she wants,

within
a 15.7-square-mile area.

Why the .7?

Oh.

That stops just
400 feet short of my house.

You found out we're a couple,
didn't you?

Must have been hard
to communicate

while she was in prison.

I guess
the phones in your house

suddenly started working again.

Who knew?

You vengeful little--

Now, we move on
to restrictions.

No alcohol, no staying out
past 10:00 P.M.,

no non-spousal
co-habitation.

Oh, you have got
to be kidding me.

Let's not make matters worse,
honeybear.

Mm-mm. No combining
"honey" and "bear."

Look, we gotta relax, okay?

We're gonna find him,

and Rachael's gonna be
none the wiser.

It's her now.
What do I do?

Give me the phone.
I do a perfect Maximus.

No way.
Hello?

Burton, I know I'm being
one of those parents,

but I'm just checking to make
sure everything's okay.

Hi, mommy.
I'm having a big boy--uhh!

Who was that?

- That was too harsh!
- What was too harsh?

- Who was that?
- No one.

Look, I'm so sorry,

but I'm gonna have to hang up
on you now.

What do you mean,
you have to hang up on me?

- Get over here.
- Gus, what's going on?

Quick. Say something to give
your mom proof of life.

- What?
- That'll do. Bye, sweetie.

What's up, kid?

All right, people.

Ready for
final tag run-through.

Ten seconds till it's time.
Clear the lane.

See, man?
Everything's all right.

No, everything
is not all right.

I'm still mad at you

for bringing him
on an investigation.

Francois is ready.
On my cue.

Francois? Dude, that's
the guy we were hired to find.

That means this is
no longer an investigation.

We're just two dudes

and the fruit
of another man's loins,

watching Le Cirque

and eating some delicious
Snyder's pretzels.

What else could be better?

Francois, stand by
for trapeze launch.

At three, two, one, and action.

Somebody call an ambulance.

That's just part of the act.

[The Friendly Indians'
I Know You Know]

♪ In between the lines
there's a lot of obscurity ♪

♪ I'm not inclined
to resign to maturity ♪

♪ if it's all right ♪

♪ then you're all wrong ♪

♪ but why bounce around
to the same damn song? ♪

♪ ooh ♪

♪ you'd rather run
when you can't crawl ♪

♪ I know you know
that I'm not telling the truth ♪

♪ I know you know they just
don't have any proof ♪

♪ embrace the deception ♪

♪ learn how to bend ♪

♪ your worst inhibitions ♪

7x06
Cirque du Soul

He saw someone get k*lled.

See, see,
what had happened was--

Wait, now. You're not
letting me finish.

All right, all right.

I see your point, but, I mean,

we can go back and forth
on this all day,

but I think
the important thing is,

is that Max is fine.

Fine?

He's been grilling me

about where circus performers go
when they die.

Like they have souls.

Look, you're right.

We should have never taken Max.

It was just a miscommunication
between me and Shawn.

I promise to be more careful
next time.

I don't think there's gonna be

any more big boy days out
for a while.

Nice.

Now I may never get a chance

to hang with the kid again.

There--there are
still no leads

in the robbery
at the industrial sign factory,

but the owner says
nothing was taken.

Sounds good, O'Hara.
Do whatever you like.

Also, a trapeze artist d*ed

at the Le Cirque performance
today.

Great.

Carlton?

Carlton, you're not listening.

Sorry, O'Hara, I'm--

you know, I'm just
too frustrated right now

to care about what lowlife broke
into what sign factory

or how the ACLU is gonna take
all the fun out of catching him.

Wow, I thought with Marlowe
finally out of jail,

you'd be on cloud nine.

Yeah, well, that all
changed once we discovered

that Ursula Gibbs was
going to be her parole officer.

Ursula? The girl
you hooked up with after the--

- Yeah.
- Let me guess, you never--

- No.
- Didn't I try to warn you

- that she was--?
- Yep.

But you didn't listen
because you kept cutting me off.

Yep, and so she's
taking it out on Marlowe.

So not only can Marlowe
not live with me

in the home
that I have built for us,

but her only affordable
housing options

are no-I.D.-required apartments
in adjacent neighborhoods.

Um--

Uh--

Carlton!

I think I have a way
to help you and Marlowe.

I still can't believe it.

Zola, we're--we're
very sorry for your loss,

but I can assure you that
Francois is--

is looking down on you
from the big tent in the sky.

Or looking up at you
from the fiery--

What happened was no accident.

I've seen him perform
that trick a thousand times.

We're gonna look into it
for you, okay?

But we--we need to know

the goings-on
behind the scenes, all right?

It's important that we--
we be in the mix.

All up in the kool-aid.

Our kind of people

traditionally don't
take well to outsiders.

They can be guarded.

Like Gus with his belly button.

It would be especially
difficult now.

Because of Francois' death,
everyone is on edge.

We've even had
two performers quit.

We just lost our master
of ceremony and yodeler.

Yodeler?

Terrible, but we're in a bind,

so you'll have to do.

You're on at 7:00.
Don't be late.

What?
Come on, son.

Come on, son.
You got that.

Get it, get it.
Get up in it.

Do it.
Got it. What up?

Would you give me that?

- I got it, Shawn.
- You're gonna drop it.

I said, I got it.

You know what they say
about men with long arms.

Yeah, that everything else
is really, really short.

- Wha--what?
- That's Hugo.

He's the one that was
supposed to catch Francois.

Let's go chat him up.

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

This is, like, the fourth time
Jules has called me.

Hi, sweetie.

Uh-huh. Uh, I'm kind of doing
my thing right now, but sure.

Whatever you think, Jules.

Okay. All right.
I'll see you tonight.

Mrah mrah mrah.

Dude, we gotta be careful.

Zola said Hugo's not a big fan

of character artists like us.

You lay back.
I got this.

Got it.

What's up, Circules?

I don't believe
we got your name.

Oh, sorry.

Uh, Orenthal James Simpson.
I know, I know.

My folks were big fans
of Hertz Rental Car.

Heard about the accident
last week, man.

That's a bummer, huh?

I was right there. I still
don't know what happened.

I mean, we've been doing
that trick forever,

but the other day,
he just--

he didn't extend all the way.

Hmm.

Your psychic hunch
was spot-on again, Shawn.

This man was dead

before his body was
launched into the air.

The broken neck and internal
injuries from the fall

were all post-mortem.

So then, what k*lled him?

- Electrocution.
- Hmm.

It wasn't obvious at first.

Whoever covered this up

must have kept the body on ice.

Now, come over here.

Come on, I want
to show you something.

It's not like you're gonna
catch necrophylopigmentosis.

Probably not.

As anyone good at foreplay
can tell you,

electricity
always leaves a mark.

I know, I know.
T.M.I. Tell more information.

You see, a flashlight battery
and a paper clip--

Uh, no need to explain, Woody.

I gotta tell you,
I sometimes have trouble

reading social cues,
especially cross-culturally.

What?

Yeah, it's really
starting to hurt me

in the dating department.

I can't--I can't read
alive women anymore.

It's like,
you're strobing right now.

I'm going to open an official
m*rder investigation

based on this new evidence.

- Right.
- Mm-hmm.

Keep it loose.

Um, Shawn,
are you sure you're okay

with what we talked about
earlier on the phone?

Yeah, yeah.
I'm totally cool with that.

- Thank you.
- Mm.

- Mrah.
- Mrah.

I'll see you later.

Uh, Juliet, uh,
you wouldn't happen to know

any single females that are
currently living, would you?

You know what, Woody?

I am going to give that
some serious thought.

Jules, I'm home.

Oh, hey, Spencer.
I hope you don't mind.

I just whipped
something together

with what you guys had
in the fridge.

Some bread for you, my dear?

- Hello, Shawn.
- Hi.

Well, if you want
some pasta, just ask.

There's plenty.

OMG, WTF, and JTT.

Jonathan Taylor Thomas
is not an acronym, Shawn.

What are they doing here?

Shawn, you said
you were cool with this.

What we talked about
on the phone.

That Marlowe could stay here
while she and Carlton

worked out
her parole situation.

Right, the thing
we talked about on the phone

that I said I was cool with.

Right.

Then I said I was
cool with it again

when we were at Woody's.

All right, fine,
but it better be temporary,

and then it's just you and me.

Of course.

Oh, hey, I took
a quick shower after work,

and I put your robe
back on the hook.

It's yours. So is the hook.
So is the door.

I have to go... anywhere.

No, I am not okay

with Lassiter and Marlowe
being all up in our space.

We just moved in together.

Do you have any idea
how intrusive that is?

I called to speak to Gus.

I'm sorry, Rachael.
That's my bad.

Thanks for picking Max up
from soccer practice.

I'll be leaving work
in an hour.

And do me a favor, keep Max
away from dead people, okay?

See you.

Do me a favor

and keep Max away
from dead people, okay?

Still here, Shawn.
And I'm not a leprechaun.

Of course not.

Max! Hey, little man,
get in the car.

Bye.

Is that your audition
for To Catch A Predator?

Suck it, Shawn.

- Hey, big boy.
- Oh, jeez.

Buckle in.

Look, man. You have
to stop it. Trust me.

And we need to figure out
who stuffed Francois' dead body

into that capsule
before the show started.

Uh, Shawn, let's not talk
about the d-e-c-e-a-s-e-d

in front of you-know-who.

Why are you spelling?

Because we don't
want to expose--

to anything
i-n-a-p-p-r-o-p-r-i-a-t-e

- a-b-o-u-t--
- Hold it, man.

You don't need to get
some pen and a paper?

"Inappropriate"?

Ah, fine. No more talking
about the case.

That's productive.

They were talking about it
on the news.

They showed
the dead guy that d*ed

that I saw backstage, for real.

Whoa, whoa, whoa.
You saw Francois backstage?

While I was looking
for the bathroom,

two people were putting
makeup on his face.

Dude, that's it.

If we find those two guys,
we've got our K*llers

because they were putting
makeup on a dead man.

Max, you think
you'd recognize them

if we took you back
to the circus?

Uh, no, no, no, Shawn.
No, no, no, no, no.

Please, Gus, please?

How about her?

- One of these two?
- Mm, no.

Wait.

Yes, I will make sure that
Max gets his homework done.

In fact, Shawn is helping him

with some multiple choice
problems as we speak.

- What about this guy?
- Mm-mm.

Hey, how are you doing?
Guy with the bike?

- Mm-mm.
- You sure?

- Mm-hmm.
- Bye, boo.

Um, we need to get going.

Rachael's gonna start
getting worried.

Just give the kid
a few more minutes.

No, no, no, no, no.
I'm responsible for him.

I decide when we take him home.

I want to stay with Shawn,
but you can go.

Zola?

Huh.

- Ew.
- That's interesting.

Looks like she left in a hurry,

or she's just a filthy pig.

Max, do you remember at all
what these guys look like?

No, I don't.

They were wearing makeup too.

- Max.
- Did you hear that, Shawn?

They were all wearing makeup,

so he won't be able
to I.D. them.

- Now, let's go.
- No, we're together on this.

This is taking too long.
I cannot wait.

What is it?
What's wrong, little man?

That's the voice of the man
I heard putting on the makeup.

Are you sure about that?

Can we just get this done?

Monday, we're out.

They were in the lunchroom.
They're non-speakers.

Gus, those could be our guys.
We need to follow them.

I don't think
that's a good idea, Shawn.

Cool.

Shawn, I don't think
that's a--wait!

Ah!

Oh, hi.

O'Hara. Any--
any news from the office?

Um, um, uh, well, uh,

we did bring someone in
for questioning

on that sign factory case,
and, uh,

we've narrowed down
the electrocution

in the Le Cirque thing.

Um, have these, uh, lights
been on all day?

Oh, my God. The vase
is not an ashtray!

Carlton, may I have a word?

Sure. Certainly.

I'll wait outside.

This might not have been
a good idea.

Okay, look, I-I know
it's a bit of an inconvenience,

but, you know,
my hands are tied.

Ursula is making it
damn near impossible

for us to spend
any time together.

I understand your frustration,
I really do.

Yeah, and I promise
to reimburse you

for any incidentals,

provided you have
the original receipt.

I still just--
I have to ask, um,

how long will you be needing
this arrangement?

Don't worry about it.

I'll figure something else out.

- Okay.
- Okay.

That's them.
Turn left.

They're heading towards
that industrial park.

You know I have
to get Max home.

Rachael's given me
another chance with him.

I can't blow it.

Dude.

Oh, my gosh.

Cool.

Not too many people
can do that.

Where the heck is he going?

Hmm.

Electricity
always leaves a mark.

They're a bunch of thieves.

Francois was the fourth member.

Whatever's in there,
he d*ed trying to get it,

and the other three
covered up his death

by making it look
like an accident in the show.

Yeah, we need
to follow them inside.

You must be
out of your damn mind.

I'm not taking Max inside
a possible crime scene.

- It's irresponsible.
- All right.

Let's be responsible.

Leave him out here in the car,
by himself,

like a shih-tzu.

Max, wait!

Oh. Oh, that feels so good.

Okay, before you say anything,

we have an announcement.

We are gonna b*at Ursula
at her own game.

The parole guidelines
say that the parolee

must be allowed to live
with her lawful spouse,

so... do you want
to tell her?

We got engaged!

- Where'd the circus guys go?
- Shh!

What is in here that is
so damn valuable?

Whoa!
All right.

Uh, Shawn, we need
to get out of here.

This is the S.B.P.D.
Stay right where you are.

Do not move.

How does she always pick
the wrong time to call?

Hey, boo.

He was involved in a break-in?
How could you let this happen?

See, I know you're
disappointed, but I can explain.

"Disappointed" doesn't even
begin to describe how I feel.

What sort of future
is Max gonna have

with a criminal record?

A legitimate sh*t at playing
professional football someday?

- No.
- Then bleak.

Rachael, wait.

Jules, question of the day.

Why would these dudes break into
a laboratory a few days ago,

see one
of their crew members die,

and then risk breaking
into the same exact laboratory,

all for some worthless
laboratory supplies?

Not so fast.

The building manager said
there was a break-in,

and 10 grams of a substance
called "tritium" was stolen.

Jules, don't be ridiculous.

No one's gonna risk their lives
for that much chewing gum.

"Tritium is
a self-illuminating,

"manmade isotope used in things
like watch faces and key chains.

"It's highly sought after.

Just 10 grams of it has
a street value of 300 grand."

Whoa.
Like an exit sign.

Or an industrial sign.

The break-in
at the sign factory.

I bet it was the same crew.

They were looking for tritium,
but they couldn't find any

because it's only made
in a laboratory.

- Stop saying it like that.
- Saying what like what?

Today was them going back
to do the job right.

I'll put out an APB
on the circus criminals

with instructions
to check all the places

they could safely store
the unstable tritium.

Well done!

Dude, I have a pretty good hunch
of where our guys are going,

and I think Zola's involved.
We don't have much time.

Rachael just broke up with me.

What? Oh, that is
just awful, Guster.


I am so sorry to hear that.

Hey, everybody,
I just got engaged!

Lassie, that's great!

I mean--I mean,
that's--it's all right.

Look, buddy, come with me.

You'll get your mind
off things.

This is your fault.

This whole time,
I've been telling you

that you've been going too far,
but no, you wouldn't listen.

- Now it's too late.
- No, it's not too late.

Look, Rachael's
gonna calm down,

and it's gonna be fine,
but in the meantime--

In the meantime, you'll go
about like everything's fine,

and I'll be left to clean up
the mess that you've caused.

I'm tired of your mouth
writing checks

that my ass has to cash!

Gus, I'm gonna need you
to lower the volume

or, at the very least,
change that metaphor.

Shawn, I really like Rachael,

and because of you,
I may have lost her.

All right, I'm sorry.
Okay?

I'm sorry. What--
what do you want me to say?

I can't do this
with you right now.

I need time alone.

Rawr!

Carlton, did you have a chance
to look at that file?

Yeah, right here.

These are China settings.

Yeah. Which goes best
with my silverware?

Oh, you meant the file
you faxed over.

I'm sorry.

We're still celebrating.

Yeah, I got it right here.

So the sign factory case

and the Cirque m*rder
are now one and the same?

Yeah, and--

The wedding planner's not
supposed to be here until 6:00.

I know.

- Hello.
- Hello.

I'm here for a surprise check-in
on my parolee.

Okay.

Marlowe,
your parole officer's here.

I hear
that there has been a change

in Ms. Viccellio's
relationship status.

Yes, Ms. Viccellio and I
are now engaged,

so I'm afraid that may alter
some of your restrictions.

I see. I understand
this just happened?

Yes, I would have
told you myself,

but I couldn't find
your number.

Honey.

Well, I'm sure your celebration

hasn't involved any alcohol

because, as we all know, that's
a violation of your parole.

Uh-huh.
I suspected as much.

I'm sure that you know
what to do with this.

Urine sample, now.

I wonder if you will be
wearing white

or prison orange
at your wedding?

I'll wait right there
to find out.

O'Hara, may I have
a quick word with you, please?

Mm-hmm.

I need you to do a favor.

Don't worry.
It's nothing weird.

Just--I need you to take
this vase and go pee in it.

No.

If Marlowe tests positive
for alcohol,

then the system
has beaten us, O'Hara.

It's beaten love.

Now, just take this
in the bathroom

and do me a solid.

Poor choice of words.

Just, please, I am desperate.

Okay, I think I have
a way to help.

Great.

It's you! You!
You let it happen!

You, Gus! You let it
happen to yourself!

- You let it happen to your--
- Gus?

I was just heading over
to the Psych office

to see if Shawn
wanted to grab some lunch.

I don't know where he is,
and I don't care.

All right, well,
it was good to see you.

Hold on, hold on. You don't
want to know what happened?

Oh, let me guess.

Shawn told you he was gonna
try to help you out,

and as it turns out, he's really
just too focused on himself,

and he ended up ruining things.

Wow, that's impressive.

Not really.

While you were pacing around,

I was sitting on a park bench
over there,

listening to you blabber
to yourself.

It's not like Shawn

hasn't messed up
my relationships before,

but Rachael is different.

I really care about her,
and Shawn doesn't care

because he's too caught up
in his own self-interests.

Gus, you remember when you
guys were growing up,

and Shawn stole that car
to impress the girl?

I discovered that he stole it
on October 15th.

You know what that day is?

Of course I do.
It's Tito Jackson's birthday.

It's the day
his mother moved out.

What's your point?

In all those years,

the one constant
in Shawn's life has been you.

Now, here you are.

You've met this great girl,

and he's facing his worst fear.

And what you see
as being purely selfish

might just be him

afraid that he might
lose something else

that's very important to him.

Hi, Ursula.

Do you mind if I sit down
for a moment?

Of course, detective.

Let me guess.

You would like to convince me

to give Carlton a break.

What?
No way.

Based on what he did to you,
I'd say he had it coming.

Right.

You know, I am just sitting
here, looking at your style,

and I am wondering
why a hottie like yourself

is still even giving him
a moment of thought.

- I'll tell you why.
- Hmm?

Because he's a God
amongst lovers.

Whoa. Hold on.

The man knows his way
around the female form

like none other.

Ursula, you know, I'd really
prefer if you didn't--

And it's not just the passion.

It's the stamina.

And imagination.

I am begging you to share less.

And then he never
called me back.

Bastard.

Getting that night,

that one cosmically satisfying
night out of my mind

just doesn't seem possible.

Hmm.

Which doesn't bode so well
for your partner.

You know,
I need to take this call.

- Mm-hmm.
- Really quick, from the morgue.

Hi, Woody.

Gus, this is my tenth message.

That's more than Mikey left
for Nicky in Swingers.

Look, I tracked them here.
Their car is outside.

Just call me back.

Oh, hey, uh, put that down!

Actually, don't.

Keep doing what you're doing,
but do it very gently.

You probably
don't want to drop that.

You guys are just
a bunch of thieves,

thieves giving
toothless carnies a bad name.

- Hear us out.
- You have two minutes.

The three of us and Francois

were desperate for work,

so we lied about having
immigration papers,

and we joined Le Cirque.

We needed to get visas fast,

and then this businessman
came to us

and said he could help.

Jeffrey Duke.

He said we had a special
skill set he needed,

and he promised us visas
in exchange for some favors.

Like breaking
into the sign factory

or the Excellarator lab
to find this tritium,

only the second one didn't go
quite as planned, did it?

Rest in peace, Francois.

I know what we were doing
was illegal,

but we really didn't have
many options, mate.

Of course, they've got Zola.

He says if we give him
the tritium, he'll release her,

but if we fail or if we
try to involve the police,

he'll k*ll her.

We're headed over
to his warehouse

in one hour to meet him.

That is a horrible idea.

Well, what do you reckon
we do, mate?

I reckon we break her out.

Your boyfriend's late.
I don't like waiting.

Oh, hello.
Don't be minding me.

I'm from
the County Pest Control.

Act casual.

Some Malaysian weevils been
coming over on the boats,

eating up
all of the local weevils,

so county has us spraying
all the warehouses

down here by the docks.

Not taking long at all.

But here is one question
for you.

Have you seen weevils

in any
of these small poop houses?

No!
Now, get out of here.

Best be checking one
just to be sure.

What's going on in there?

Oh, my.
There is much trouble in here.

Weevils making love
in the sink compartment.

Okay, here we go.

Well, thank you very much
for your hospitality.

Biggest problem,
I must stay here

until all the weevils
are mostly made dead.

Personal note, I find them

both delicious and adorable,

so I have, as you say,
a conflict.

Now, if I may be bothering you
one more time,

can you show me
where the closest house

- of the prostitutes--
- Hey.

Oh, all right.

I will just go
upon my merry way.

Guys, run!

Where did he go?

Find her!

I can't see!

My eyes!

I don't care about your eyes!

Find them!

- Where are they?
- Occupied!

Oh, Gus, what are you
doing here?

- I got your last message.
- I didn't think you'd come.

From the looks of things,
I got here right in time.

Duke and his thugs
are in the next room,

looking for you.
We gotta go.

Look, before I use you
as a human shield,

there's some things
I want to say.

Look, I know you're terrified
and afraid of change

and that you hate
Tito Jackson's birthday,

but I will always be here,
unless you keep acting

like you have
these last couple of days.

I won't.
I promise.

What I hate is how little is
made of Tito Jackson's birthday.

I will never jeopardize

your relationship
with Rachael ever again.

That's how some grown-ass men
settle their differences.

Man, what's up--

- Human shield, human shield!
- Get off me! Get off me!

O.J., come with me
if you want to live.

What? He better be
talking to you.

He is.

Rico!

Follow me.

He must be
out of his damn mind.

Gus, I think I've got that.

- No, you don't.
- sh**t at them!

Oh!

Run!

These guys are crazy.
They're sh**ting blind.

That's because I sprayed them
in the face with pesticide.

- What?
- Don't let them escape!

You did the exterminator man
with that stupid accent?

- He is from Iceland.
- He's not from Iceland.

You don't know where he's from!

Where's--

- Gus, it's just like pitfall.
- What?

Just jump.
Knock 'em out.

- Aah!
- Let go!

- Why didn't you let go?
- Because you didn't let go!

Whoa!

Oh, hello.

Goodbye.

Police!

Hold it right there.

- Hands up!
- Drop it.

Drop it.

Dude, is it ironic

that I've had to go
to the bathroom

this entire time?

Man, now I have to go too.

What are these for?

Just a little thank-you

for letting Marlowe
stay at your place,

but we won't be needing
your help anymore.

Oh?

Ursula cancelled
Marlowe's drug test.

Gave us her official approval
to move in together.

- Aw, that makes me very happy.
- Thank you very much.

Although we're still not sure
why she had a change of heart.

This is to thank you
for hooking me up

with that delightful,
wonderful,

playful angel of a woman,
Ursula.

You know, it's like we're each

what the other's been
looking for.

Hmm.

You're good, lady.
You're good.

Hmm.

Still no word
from Rachael, huh?

Nah. She went all Halle Berry
in Boomerang on a brother.

You should go find
that same kid

that Eddie used
at the end of the movie,

tug on her heartstrings
a little.

Of course, that kid's
probably 30 by now.

You think?

Hey, it's the thought
that counts.

I just need to tell her
how I feel.

The surprising thing is, I
actually miss Max a little too.

What are you two doing here?

Someone was missing you.
Can we talk?

Yes, we can.

Max, you stay here

while Gus and I have a little
chat with your mother.

Shawn.

On second thought,

I'm gonna hang here with you

while Gus handles this
on his own.

Hello, Ra-chael.

Doctor.

You realize that is
the coolest dude

in the whole wide world, right?

- I know.
- All right, good.

I'm sorry about popping in
like this,

but Shawn called
and explained his role

in everything that happened
between us.

He then explained his role
in some heroic things

that historically
cannot be possible.

- That's my boy.
- But I'm glad he did.

- I was kind of missing you.
- Really?

But more than that,
Max has been a different kid

since spending time
with you and Shawn.

He's been more outgoing,
more confident.

I know I worry about him
so much,

and I know it's good for him
to let loose a little.

But you knew that, didn't you?

Well, you know.

But you won't be taking him
out for a while.

I know that's right.

And no more arrests
or dead bodies.

I promise, we'll be
the perfect role models.

Remember,
food challenge rules state,

you only get this fiver

if you drink every last drop
of that pickle juice.

Are we clear?
All right.

- Wait, Max.
- Shawn.

What?
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