04x15 - A sh*t in the Dark

[bunniefuu]

♪ Sunday, Monday, happy days ♪

♪ Tuesday, Wednesday,
happy days ♪

♪ Thursday, Friday, happy days ♪

♪ The weekend
comes, my cycle hums ♪

♪ Ready to race to you ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

♪ Happy and free ♪
♪ Oh, happy days ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

♪ Share them with me ♪
♪ Oh, baby ♪

♪ Good-bye, gray
sky, hello, blue ♪

♪ There's nothing can
hold me when I hold you ♪

♪ It feels so right
it can't be wrong ♪

♪ Rocking and
rolling all week long ♪

♪ Sunday, Monday, happy days ♪

♪ Tuesday, Wednesday,
happy days ♪

♪ Thursday, Friday, happy days ♪

♪ Saturday, what a day ♪

♪ Groovin' all week with you ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

♪ Share them with me ♪
♪ Oh, happy days ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

♪ Happy and free ♪
♪ Oh, baby ♪

♪ These happy days ♪

♪ Are yours and mine ♪

♪ These happy days are yours ♪

♪ And mine, Happy Days! ♪

Johnson brings the
ball down the court.

They're moving
the ball around now.

Moving it all around the court.

Wait, there's a pass to Calvey.

Calvey misses.

Donley goes up for the score!

Two points by Donley on a
missed sh*t by Calvey of Jefferson.

What's the matter
with you, Ralph?

Sullivan brings the ball into
Paley. Can't you take a hint?

You asked Darlene
out five times.

Every time, she turned you down.

Yeah, well, wait till she
hears my new comedy routine,

she'll be dying
to go out with me.

Humor always gets them, Richie.

You want to hear it?

No. Knock, knock.

All right, who's there?

Cantaloupe.

Cantaloupe who?

Cantaloupe without a girl.

He missed the foul sh*t.

Uh... Lam-Lambert
grabs the rebound,

dribbles around...
Adcock and scores.

That was Lambert who scored.

Adcock!

Did you ever hear of
the word "defense?!"

Yeah, but I... Get in there!

Feed 'em wheat, feed 'em oats,

feed 'em to the billy goats!

Yeah!

Marshall intercepts and
brings the ball down court.

You pull your skirt down.

Passes to Calvey.

Calvey scores with a
pretty good set sh*t!

Two points, that's two points

for Jefferson's
high scorer, Calvey.

How many points
is that for Calvey, Al?

Calvey...

Two, four,

six, seven...

There's only one minute left.

I guess we're not
gonna see Richie tonight.

That's all right, dear.

We'll see him later at home.

Calvey steals the
ball with quick hands!

20 seconds to go.

No! He tripped!

He trips!

Calvey's tripped,
no foul is called.

What a gyp.

But an Oshkosh
player touched it last,

so it's Jefferson's ball.

Wait, wait. He's
getting up hurt.

Official time-out.

Talk about tension.

If Jefferson wins this
game, the semifinals,

they're just one game
away from playing in

the state championships
at Madison.

Cunningham!

No, Coach, I'm Malph.

I know that.

He knew my name!

Sit down!

I'm gonna sit down, Coach.

Cunningham, come here. Yes.

Cunningham, twisted
ankle, Calvert's out.

Aw... You're in.

Ooh!

I've been watching; got a
lot of confidence in you, kid.

Looking at you out
there in practice,

you know, doing a lot of
good things with the ball.

Yeah, thanks, Coach.

I've got some very
important strategy for you.

Name it.

Don't sh**t.

Don't do anything.

But, Coach, we're
one point behind.

I know. If you get the
ball, pass it to Donnally.

Oh, better than
that, just hold it.

Donnally will come
by and take it from you.

Okay, get on out there.

Cunningham in for Calvey.

Ten seconds to go, and
Jefferson is behind by one point.

Pass it! Pass it!

sh**t it!

Five, four,

three, two...

Well, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I-I knew the sh*t would go in
the moment it left my fingers,

you see, 'cause, well,

it was such a smooth release.

Oh, you were amazing.

Oh, well, I wouldn't
say amazing.

But if you want to...

You'll probably be
in the Hall of Fame!

Well, you know, uh,
I am one of the first

to perfect the jump sh*t.

I mean, you might say
that it's Bill Sharman,

Easy Ed McCauley
of the Boston Celtics

and Richie Cunningham
of the Jefferson High Ducks!

Richie, congrats-a-mundo!

Oh, thanks.

Thanks a lot, Fonz.

Uh, this is Colette.

I'm charmed.

Doing pretty good, huh, Fonz?

Looks like it.

Fonz, uh, I got a girl
for you, too, you know.

Uh, Colette, excuse me.

You want to come
right over here with me?

Now, do my ears deceive me,

or did I hear you
ask if I need a date?

Oh... Oh, yeah, I did, Fonz.

I'm sorry, I just got
a little carried away.

Whoa.

I tell you, it's weird
because I'm an instant hero.

Cunningham... You
know what I mean?

Well, it's very exciting for me.

The girls want to be
with me all the time,

and-and they want to
be around to touch me,

and I just never experienced
that kind of excitement...

Now, now, Cunningham,

I am very proud that you are

excluding yourself
from the humdrum life.

But I think you're getting
a little carried away here.

All right, all right, Fonz.

So the sh*t was lucky.

I mean, I figure what
difference does it make?

'Cause the girls don't know.

And besides that, now
that I got a little confidence,

I think that if Coach Pelino
puts me back into another game,

I just might make
another last minute sh*t.

The coach called.

He's been looking
all over for you.

He told me to tell
you to get home

and get all the rest you can,
because Calvey busted his ankle,

and you're starting
the whole game!

Starting the whole game?

This could be embarrassing.

Well, how does it feel
to be king of the court?

Starting a whole game.

Hey, hey, enjoy it
while you can, Jack.

Yeah.

Yeah, I guess you're right.

I mean, like they say,
Sic transit gloria mundi.

People say that?

Oh, well, actually
it's Latin, see.

It means that, uh,
all glory is fleeting.

Yeah, well, glory till
Monday, you know.

Oh, right, Fonz.

Oh, Fonz,

now, you sure you don't want
me to set you up with Claudia here?

Uh, Rich, listen, just one time,

I would love to try it
just by myself, okay?

Uh, like they say, glory
may be fleeting, you know?

Yeah.

But the Fonz goes on and on.

I think he's got it.
I think he's got it.

Whoa!

Hey, Colette?

Want to go up to
Inspiration Point with me?

I'll show you my fake.

Oh, Richie!

You're such a jock!

Yeah, yeah, I am.

Hey, hey, hey, hey,
hey, hey, hey, hey!

You must be Cunningham,

Jefferson's new
hotshot ball player?

Al?

I do my best.

Well, Richard, you
haven't touched your dinner.

Well, I'm sorry, Mom,
but I'm a little nervous.

Starting and-and playing
the whole game and...

I-I think I'll just
skip dinner, okay?

Oh, why?

Now, don't worry.

We're gonna be
there rooting for you.

Now, basketball
stars need their dinner.

Oh.

Well, if I see one,
I'll send him over.

You know, Richard, you're
a good basketball player.

Otherwise, you wouldn't
be on the team. Hello.

You want to speak to

Luscious Legs Cunningham?

That must be for me.
That must be for me.

No.

It's... Luscious Legs, huh?

It's for Richard.

He does have cute legs.

Oh, Mom... Mom...

It's a girl.

Well, I figured that.

Hi.

Yeah, this is Richie Cunningham.

Uh, Sheena who?

DuBois?

Sheena DuBois?

Hello, there, Sheena DuBois.

No, no.

I don't believe
I've ever met you.

Ask her if she has a
brother, and we'll double.

Mom! Dad!

Joanie, sit down.

Here, sweetie.

Oh, yes, yes.

This is the star Jefferson
High basketball player.

Oh, you-you want to
meet with me tonight?

Well, I-I have a game and...

No, no, wait, wait, wait.

Maybe we can work something out.

Uh, how about if I
meet you after the game,

and that way, I can
tell you how I did.

What?

You can do what?

Oh, my!

I'll be there in 15 minutes!

Look, I'm sorry, but I
just got to go ahead...

Uh, go ahead and
eat your dessert.

I'll see you at the game.

I just, I-I got to go.

♪ Bye, bye love ♪

♪ Bye, bye, sweet ♪

♪ Bye, bye, love ♪

All right, Al, come on, huh?!

I'm bored out here!

Rah, rah!

We are going to
a basketball game,

not an Eskimo wedding, huh?

I know, Fonzie.

I just got caught
up in the spirit.

Let me ask you a question.

Does my nose
detect camphor balls?

I thought I got them all out.

Yeah, just don't sit
close to me, all right?

Let's go. Let's go.

Oh, Al, I want you to
remember one thing.

We're going on my bike, right?

Okay, I want you
to lean forward.

I don't want to do a wheelie
all the way to the gymnasium.

Hi, Fonz.

Al, what's the bear wearing?

The bear... What's
the bear wearing?

Yeah, right.

What are you doing here?

Well, Fonz, Fonz,

this-this girl called
me up at my house.

Yeah? She wanted
to meet me here.

And she said such things
to me on the telephone.

Whoa, ho...

Here, Rich.

Here's the keys.

Lock up when you leave.

Fonz, I'll wait for
you on your bike,

leaning forward. Yeah, right.

Hey, thanks a lot, Al.

Uh, Richie. Yeah?

You got 20 minutes.

I suggest you go
right for the highlights.

Yeah.

Can I loan you a nickel? Huh?

Oh, no, no,

I was just fixing it
here and I don't...

Oh, you must be Sheena DuBois.

In the flesh.

You've got such
a way with words.

Listen, Luscious Legs,

why don't you forget
that dumb old game?

Why don't you and
I go to the movies?

Oh, no, I-I couldn't.

What's playing?

Oh, no, no, no,

I-I gotta go to the game.

Listen, would you
like to come with me?

I hate games. Oh.

I love athletes.

But the movies... last row...

all alone.

We won't even have
to watch the movie.

I wonder if this
happens to Bob Cousy.

Oh, no, no, wait,
now wait, uh, tiger...

I mean, Sheena, Sheena.

No, listen, see, uh, I
have to go to the game.

Sure?

Yeah, because people
are counting on me.

I have to show up.

Well, too bad.

Biff. Rocky.

Oh, no, no, please,
no nicknames.

Just call me Richie.

Biff, Rocky.

Well, okay, Biff's
cute, I like Biff.

Uh-huh.

Biff?

Rocky.

I don't know who they are,

but I got a basketball
game, I can't stay.

I could probably
chat for a while.

It's been an exciting evening,
and we're nearing the end

of the first quarter of
the championship game.

Donnally tries a
20-footer. He misses.

It's tapped in! Okay!

There's still two minutes
in the first quarter,

and still no sign of
Richie Cunningham.

We want Cunningham!

We want Cunningham!

We want Cunningham!

Hey, Red,

just make yourself comfortable;

you aren't going anywhere
till the game's over.

Oh, boy, you must
think I'm pretty stupid.

I mean,

you really think you
can get some sexy chick

to call up Luscious
Legs Cunningham,

come on with some
real sweet talk,

and-and you really
think I'm gonna buy that?

You bought it.

Looks that way, doesn't it?

Hey! Hey, you know
what I'm gonna do to you?

What?

I'm gonna pop you one so
you'll stop playing games.

Now, I would let him go

unless you want to
make medical history.

Good choice.

Very nice. Come here, Rich.

Now I'm telling you,

you got an entire
gymnasium filled with people,

and you're here with your
new friends playing around.

Now, I want you
to get lost, all right?

Hey, nobody moves.

It's still four against two.

Five against two.

Oh no, I-I don't think
you understand, see?

Now I'm gonna save you for last,

and what we're gonna do we're
gonna do alone, so sit down!

You're the greatest,
Fonz. Heyyy.

Listen, will... will you
lock up when you're done?

Sure. Sure, I will.

Now go dribble your heart out.

All right, now, now,
just before we get...

Hold it, hold it, hold it.

Just before we
get started, all right,

since there's so many
of you and just one of me,

I'd like to warm
up a little bit, okay,

so I'm gonna be right back

as soon as I finish
warming up, okay?

Just...

Donnally sh**t... misses.

Hey, look, Cunningham's here!

Cunningham, where have you been?

Coach, I was kidnapped!

Oh, yeah, and I'm Elliot Ness.

Get in there for Whitkowski!

Right...

Cunningham's in.

He's so popular.

Fight!

Fight!

Come on! Come on!

It's Jefferson's ball.

They're working for a good sh*t.

They're passing it around,
looking for an opening...

looking for an opening...

Wait a minute!

Donnally sh**t... misses.

Fillmore rebounds.

Wait, Cunningham
steals the ball.

He drives.

He scores!

Jefferson's in a
full-court press.

Oh! Foul!

It's on Johnson.

Wait, it's his fifth...
He's out of the game.

Al, I don't know who
Jefferson has left

on the bench to put in,
do you know? Uh, let's see,

uh, Ralph Malph, number 25.

Hey, you.

You!

Yeah, you.

Malph, Ralph Malph.

I know.

Get off your warm-ups,
you're in the game.

Oh, thanks a lot,
Coach, you won't regret it.

I never play.

Get in your uniform!

Time-out!

Jefferson calls time-out.

Oh, Fonz!

Hey, listen, are you okay?

Yeah, of course I'm okay.

You remember Sheena here, right?

Yeah, but she was
with the other side...

Oh, yeah, she fell
in with a bad crowd.

She had bad habits.

I'll break her
of 'em, all right?

I mean, she's got some
very good qualities,

which I'm sure you
heard on the phone.

Yeah.

All right, get in there
and do your stuff.

All right, Fonz.

Hey, Al, listen,

you got new
bathrooms, much larger.

You're gonna love 'em.

I'll explain to you later, okay?

Okay, I'm ready, Coach.

Malph, get in there!

All right.

Let's go, all right, guys.

Coming in the game for
Jefferson, Ralph Malph!

It's Jefferson's ball.

They're coming down court.

Passing it around...

Ralph looks like the best one.

Hey, Coach,

I'm doing real good, huh?

I'm sticking to him like glue!

We got the ball!

Oh, right, I'm on offense.

Get away from me!

Wow, it's 15 seconds to go

and Jefferson better
set up for a good sh*t.

Foul, he got fouled!
He got fouled!

Foul!

Okay! Let's go, Rich.

All right, come on, Richie.

There's one second left.

Cunningham needs to
make both free throws

to send the game into overtime.

Come on, Richie, you can do it!

Fillmore calls a time-out.

You all right, Cunningham?

Yeah. Huh? You
all right? You loose?

You want to sit down? You
want to rest? No, I'm fine, Coach.

You-you-you sure
you're all right? I'm fine.

If we win...

I will have fulfilled
a lifetime dream,

right, Cunningham?

If we lose, well,
my life's over.

But... don't worry
about it, huh?

Just don't worry.

It doesn't mean
anything at all, okay?

Coach... Yeah?

Maybe you should sit down.
Yeah, I ought to sit down.

Can I, can I sit down
here? Let me, let me sit...

Give me a place to sit!

The coach never
has a place to sit.

This is it.

Jefferson's season rests
on Cunningham's shoulders.

He makes it!

Jefferson is one point away

from tying the game and
setting up an overtime.

Richie takes a deep breath.

He bounces the ball.

He bounces it again.

He bounces it a third time.

Sorry, Rich. Guys.

All right.

Oh, no! Fillmore wins.

They go to the
state championship.

We're number one!

We're number one!
We're number one!

My life's over.

Richard, Richard, you
just did terrific, dear.

Now you deserve another chance.

You made 12 points.

It's okay, Rich.

Get changed, we'll
wait for you outside.

Hey, you gave it your best sh*t.

Sic transit gloria mundi.

That is a Latin phrase.

It means you're
gonna stay at my place

at least till Monday.

Whoa!

Sure, now I make it.

Want to go home?

In a minute, Dad.

Tough game.

A free throw.

I missed a lousy free throw.

Well...

you make a great sh*t,

and you're a hero,
and you miss one

and you're just one
of the many that tried.

Well, Dad, that's
not very comforting.

Look, Richard,

even the best of
them have bad games.

You know, like Ralph Branca
throwing up a home run ball

to Bobby Thomson
in the play-offs.

And Mickey Owen
missing the third strike

and losing the World Series.

Yeah, but, Dad, this
game was important.

Oh.

I tell you something,

I think you're being a
little too hard on yourself.

You know, after all, you
were a hero for a week.

You had your moment,

and that's more
than most people.

I guess I just...
wanted it to go on.

I know.

Come on, let's go home.

Here...

have a Lifesaver, it'll
make you feel better.

♪ These days are
ours, happy and free ♪

♪ Oh, happy days ♪

♪ These happy days
are yours and mine ♪

♪ These are some Happy Days! ♪

♪ Good-bye, gray
sky, hello, blue ♪

♪ There's nothing can
hold me when I hold you ♪

♪ It feels so right,
it can't be wrong ♪

♪ Rockin' and
rollin' all week long ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

♪ Happy and free ♪
♪ Oh, happy days ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

♪ Share them with me ♪
♪ Oh, baby ♪

♪ These happy days
are yours and mine ♪

♪ These happy days are
yours and mine, Happy Days! ♪