06x01 - Westward Ho!: Part 1

[bunniefuu]

♪ Sunday, Monday, happy days ♪

♪ Tuesday, Wednesday,
happy days ♪

♪ Thursday, Friday, happy days ♪

♪ The weekend
comes, my cycle hums ♪

♪ Ready to race to you ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

- ♪ Happy and free ♪
- ♪ Oh, happy days ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

- ♪ Share them with me ♪
- ♪ Oh, baby ♪

♪ Good-bye, gray
sky, hello, blue ♪

♪ There's nothing can
hold me when I hold you ♪

♪ It feels so right
it can't be wrong ♪

♪ Rocking and
rolling all week long ♪

♪ Sunday, Monday, happy days ♪

♪ Tuesday, Wednesday,
happy days ♪

♪ Thursday, Friday, happy days ♪

♪ Saturday, what a day ♪

♪ Groovin' all week with you ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

- ♪ Share them with me ♪
- ♪ Oh, happy days ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

- ♪ Happy and free ♪
- ♪ Oh, baby ♪

♪ These happy days
are yours and mine ♪

♪ These happy days are yours ♪

♪ And mine, Happy Days! ♪

Come on, everybody.
No dilly dallying.

Howard, do you
have the train tickets?

Yes, Marion, I have them.

And I've got your motion
sickness pills and your Lysol.

What have you got in
these bags, anyway?

Just light summer wear.

For how many summers, Marion?

Oh! Oh!

sh**t!

Oh. Thanks, Dad.

- Oh, boy. No, uh, Richard.
- What?

Howard, this is no time
to be playing basketball.

Uncle Ben is in serious trouble,
and we cannot miss that train.

Playing? Mom, I
almost broke my...

You're right. You're right.

Marion, will you please relax?

Now, we promised your
Uncle Ben we'd be there

in time to help him
run the dude ranch.

Well, we have to be there when
the guests arrive on Sunday.

The train will be there
with time to spare!

What if it has a flat?

Oh, I'm sorry, Howard.

I just get so nervous.

No, Richard, that's
Joanie's camp trunk.

- It stays.
- It stays?!

I hate traveling.

Joanie, will you get a move on?

My nails aren't dry yet!

Well, you tell that to the
train when you miss it.

Oh, Howard, she's
just at that age.

Yeah.

Hey, I'm back, huh?

You're moving out?

I'm very sad.

No, no, Fonzie,
we're not moving out.

Oh, Arthur, it's just terrible.

My Uncle Ben is having
trouble with his neighbor.

He must be a terrible man.

Uncle Ben called
him a "sidewinder."

- Whoa.
- He wants us all to be there.

He needs us. He's family.

He's a Kelp.

Translation?

Her Uncle Ben is in trouble,
and we're all going to Colorado

to help him run his dude ranch.

Have a great time.

Well, actually, Fonzie,
Uncle Ben's wire said

that he could use all
the help he could get.

The whole family's going,
and so are Ralph, Potsie and Al.

They're gonna meet
us down at the station.

And we were wondering if...

I get your drift.

And I'll be more than
happy to help you.

I'm gonna be in
the neighborhood.

I'm at a bike rally in
Arizona, which is just a...

around the corner from Colorado.

- You understand?
- Oh, Arthur, good.

You're gonna have so
much fun riding the horses.

Hold it!

Horses? I don't ride anything
I can't put gas into, you know?

But like Roy Rogers used to say:

♪ Happy trails to you. ♪

♪♪

The driver's gonna take
the luggage up to the house.

As far as the eye can see, this
all belongs to the Kelp family.

- Nice car! Yeah!
- Look at this!

- Oh, look at this. -Beautiful!
- Oh. -That's wonderful.

- Howdy, folks.
- Gorgeous car.

- Gorgeous.
- Look over there...

Welcome to the Bar A Ranch.

- Thank you.
- Which one of you is

Howard Cunningham?

Hi, there. I'm
Howard Cunningham.

Oh, nice to meet you.

I'm H.R. Buchanan, your
Uncle Ben's neighbor.

You're the sidewinder
Uncle Ben wrote about.

Yeah, that's Uncle Ben.

He's a colorful old fellow.

Well, uh, what can
we do for you, sir?

Oh, just here to welcome you.

- Oh, isn't that nice?
- Yeah, and let you know

that I'm gonna have the law

throw you off the
ranch in five days.

That's not nice.

Hey, wait a minute...
You can't do that.

They promised
us a free vacation.

- Yeah! -Yeah!
- Yeah.

Oh, yes, I can.

See, I hold a note
on Uncle Ben's ranch,

and it's due noon... Friday.

Your uncle didn't mention
that in the wire, did he, Marion?

Well, he wanted to save the
money to help pay the note.

He sent the wire collect.

Do you have the money or not?

Well, w-we, uh...
we-we don't have it now,

but, uh, we will
have it by Friday.

Yes... right...

We'll have it by Friday.

Oh, ho, ho, you might as
well turn over the ranch now.

It's obvious you people
are not capable of running it.

My dad took a
failing hardware store,

and he turned it into
a successful business.

That's right.

- Isn't that right?
- Yeah!

Well, there's more

to running a ranch
than selling curtain rods.

Now, look here, Mr. Sidewinder.

Nobody pushes a
Cunningham around.

Yeah!

You better believe
it! That's right.

And we'll run the
ranch and pay the note.

- Yeah.
- Yeah. -Right.

Well, how are you going
to do that, young lady?

I hired all your wranglers.

All except one.

An ornery wrangler...
named Thunder.

Well, you haven't
even seen ornery

till you've run up against
the Cunninghams, bucko.

And Howard
Cunningham does not quit.

- That's right.
- That's right.

- That's right.
- And neither does Al Delvecchio.

- No. -No.
- Yeah.

- Neither does Potsie Weber.
- That's right.

Ah...

Hank? Hmm?

I'd like some time
to think about it.

And stay off!

Did you see the
horns on that car?

- Richard...
- Right. Stay off!

Well, where's Uncle Ben?

Looks like there's somebody
over there by the pool.

That's not Uncle Ben.

Potsie, do my eyes deceive me?

Will you look at that
lovely in the pool?

Must be a mirage.

Maybe I can kiss
her before she fades.

Yeah.

Hiya, baby.

- Hey, what are you doing?
- Young lady!

- What was that all about?
- What did you do that for?

Well, why did you
throw him in the pool?

Yeah, he's not that bad.

Well, you don't work for H.R.?

- No.
- No, we're the Cunninghams.

Oh... well, you startled me.

There's been so much
trouble with H.R. lately.

Well... you okay?

I'm sorry.

It's a good thing we
weren't on the edge of a cliff.

Well, Ben said you'd be here.
I'm real glad you've arrived.

- Well, where is Ben?
- Why, he's laid up.

It's his back.

- A bull threw him.
- Oh, wow.

Oh, we better go
inside, see how he is.

- Yeah.
- Aw...

Yeah, I'll-I'll be up
there in just a minute.

I-I want to look around

and try and find this
ornery wrangler, Thunder.

I'm Thunder.

You're Thunder?

Why, you're not ornery.

You're-you're very cute.

Yeah, real cute!

Yeah, but definitely not ornery.

Ornery.

Take my word for it.

Ornery.

Ralph, you can get
out of the pool now.

It's perfectly safe.

I'm sorry, but you surprised me.

You okay?

Do you give
mouth-to-mouth resuscitation?

Do you want to go
back in the pool?

Not necessary. I'm
breathing well now.

Well, we can gab later.

By the way, which
one of you cook?

Al here owns a restaurant.

Well, uh, that's
as far as we'll go.

Well, the dining
area's over there,

and the kitchen's in the barn.

Al, you think you can
rustle us up some vittles?

Well, I'll try, ma'am, but I've
never rustled a vittle before.

Yeah, that's good.

Well, I guess we ought to
mosey over to the corral,

rope us a tenderfoot and
Cayuse them mavericks.

Uh, I beg your pardon? I didn't
understand a word you said.

Well, I thought that's the
way everybody talked out here.

You're cute.

You don't make much
sense, but you're cute.

I'm cute.

Oh, yeah, you're
real cute, Rich.

Boy, that's-that's pretty nice.

Got your own horse
and everything.

Yeah. Hold on, Licorice.

Licorice?! That's a great horse.

Yeah, but he's got a
sweet tooth, loves licorice.

See you later, boys.

- See you. -So long.
- Bye.

See you.

Sweet tooth.

I love banana splits.

Nobody calls me bananas.

Not to your face.

Hey, guys, guys.

- The bus is coming.
- Oh, good.

- Well, we're ready for 'em.
- Yeah.

Bring on them dudes.

All right, roll out, and show
these folks a good time.

- Oh, how y'all doing?
- Welcome!

Howdy, ma'am. Howdy, partner.

Welcome to the Bar
A. Good to have you.

Howdy, partner. Howdy, ma'am.

- Hi.
- Come on, partners and partettes.

- Oh...
- Okay, Malph.

It's a big one, Malph.

- All right, heavy one.
- Right this way, folks.

- All right, guys.
- Welcome. Welcome.

Hi. Hello.

- Here comes another one.
- The bus here already, huh?

Yes, it's guestward ho.

Hand me that other
one up there on top.

You got it. Let me down.

- Did you have a nice talk with Uncle Ben?
- Yeah.

He's pretty worried, Marion.

It seems he got hurt pretty
bad by all the heavy rains

they've had here for
the last two summers.

- Cut his business way down.
- Here comes another one.

- He had to borrow on the ranch.
- Poor Uncle Ben.

We have to make
a go of it, Howard.

Well, we'll do our best.

He's talking about
moving in with us.

Oh?

Well, we'll-we'll make a
bedroom out of your study.

My study?

We'll make it, Marion.

Shouldn't be too bad.

Hey, Malph!

Malph!

What-what are you doing?!

- Did you dent that bag?
- I'll show you "dent the bag"!

What are you, try...
you're supposed

- to catch 'em, not throw 'em.
- Throw it here...

in a man's face!

Would you do it right?!

On second thought,
it could be bad.

Why don't you look
what you're doing,

instead of looking
at girls? Come on...

I'm sweating to death up here!

Well, this is the second
day, and so far, so good.

So far, so good?

- Yeah.
- Three horses got loose.

Ralph almost hung himself
trying to hang up the lights.

Al has cooked nothing but beans,

and Potsie dropped all the
sheets in the swimming pool.

Joanie, it has not
been a bed of roses.

Not much different than a
Saturday night at Arnold's.

Yeah, it has
been fun, hasn't it?

Yeah.

You know, Joanie, I
was thinking, and...

uh, I was talking to Dad
and I was saying that I...

that I thought...

Is that a cloud of dust?

Do you hear the sound
of thundering hoofbeats?

- No. No.
- It-it couldn't be.

It's Fonzie!

Fonz, you made it.

Yeah, you found
the ranch all right.

Well, no problem.

I mean, thanks to my
wonderful Indian guide, Soft Doe.

She helped me find the ranch,

and I, in turn, helped
her locate my lips.

I deeply appreciate it.

Thank you.

Likewise, I'm sure.

- Uh, do you want some breakfast?
- No, I had some

on the trail there.
Thanks a lot.

On the trail. Oh,
isn't that great?

Eating out in the open,

under a canopy of
the great Western sky?

Yeah.

Yeah, we ate at
Howard Johnson's.

I love this cowboy
life, you know?

Hey, get along, little dogie.

Heyyy.

Howard Johnson's?

Met any boys yet, Joanie?

Oh, did I?

You should see the local hunks.

Oh, there was this
one guy delivering hay.

He had arms and shoulders.

- He was... ooh.
- Is that it?

Is that all a guy is to you,
is just arms and shoulders?

Okay. What do you see in a girl?

Well, I see... uh...

Help me with the sign, will you?

Yeah.

Honey, here's another
reservation for four.

Oh, good.

We're building.

But still way short
of what he owes.

Oh, Howard, now, couldn't we
loan Uncle Ben the ranch money?

Sweetheart, I've
given him all I could.

Now, the rest of my cash
is tied up in inventory.

Don't worry about it.

We'll make it.

Oh, Howard, you do have spunk.

- Oh, hi, Thunder. Hi. -Howdy.

Did somebody put a
motorcycle in one of the stalls?

Oh, that's Fonzie's.

Fonzie?

- He's a friend of ours.
- Oh.

Yeah, well, that's too bad.

You should see what
the cow just did to it.

Yep. Oh, there's
dents all over it.

But, uh, I just hammered
'em right back out.

Oh, that's great. Listen,

- how we doing, Thunder?
- Well,

- so far, so good.
- Yeah?

- Well, except...
- Except what?

Well...

every year about this time,
the Bar A stages a rodeo.

It's big business,

and wranglers from all the
ranches around compete.

It's tradition.

The guests really
look forward to it.

But this year...

But this year you're thinking
that us dudes can't handle it?

Well, I forget... you
folks just don't quit.

Oh, boy.

Broncing hunks, roping
hunks, wrangling hunks.

Oh, I just love rodeos.

- Joanie.
- Behave yourself, Joanie.

Well, if the people
want a rodeo,

the rodeo is on.

- Yeah.
- Oh, boy! You people don't quit!

Oh, Mrs. Cunningham,
you're just like your Uncle Ben.

I'll go spread the word!

Isn't she a lovely girl?

Oh, yeah. And great muscles.

Ha, ha, ha.

I'm talking about
wrangling, you know, uh,

throwing guys into
swimming pools.

Mm-hmm.

All right, come on,
fellas. Just follow me.

We're coming, we're coming.

Come on, Potsie.
This way. Oh, hi, g*ng.

Look what I got.

It's a whole side of beef,
and I'm gonna cook it

like the cowboys did in the
old days, over an open fire.

- Hey, Al?
- Yeah.

This is heavy.

Oh! Well, come on. This way.

Couldn't we have bought
it live and walked it over?

- Come on, guys. Just keep moving.
- I'm moving! I'm moving!

I should have been a vegetarian.

Here it is!

Okay, Pots, get it up
over there, will you?

Ow!

Way out here?

Why couldn't you
just cook it inside?

Did you ever try stuffing
one of these in an oven?

- Good boy...
- Yeah...

All right, Al, set
up. Turn on the fire.

- Yeah.
- Turn on?

You guys got to go
hunt up some wood.

Where do we get that?

That's why they threw
him out of the Cub Scouts.

RICHIE: Good morning!

This is your social director,
Old Smiling Cunningham.

I'm here to tell you
about today's fun.

But, first, a commercial:

Don't forget about the
big rodeo tomorrow.

There'll be a
special guest star...

Diablo, a k*ller bull.

We're gonna start off our
first full day of activities here

at the Bar A Ranch
with a trail ride.

All those interested, please
mosey down to the main hall.

Thank you.

- Fonz.
- Yeah.

You gonna go with
us on the trail ride?

- Horses?
- Yeah.

Whoa.

All right, listen up,

all buckettes within
hearing distance.

The first Fonzarelli nature walk

is taking place right now.
Grab hold of your leader.

Let's go.

All right, don't wrinkle
the leather, girls.

Don't ruin the leather. Horses?

Is he talking horses?

He can even do it
over a loudspeaker.

Go on through, folks.

Trail goes right
on out that way.

Just follow the trail, folks.

Whoa.

- Tired?
- No.

No, I was just
admiring the scenery.

Yep. It's one of
my favorite spots.

Licorice and I come
here quite often.

It's beautiful, all right.

You know, there's an
Indian legend about this spot.

An Indian princess promised
to wait here for her brave

until he returned
from a buffalo hunt.

But he never returned,

and this pond was
formed by her tears.

Whew. Sad story.

Yep. Well, now lovers
come here together.

And if it's a true love,

they say you can hear
that Indian princess crying.

What's it sound like?

I don't know.

I never heard it before.

But they say it sounds
something like the whistling wind.

What was that?

Oh, just a bird, Richie.

Oh. Yeah.

Wow, we better, uh,
catch up with the others.

- Yeah, come on, Rich.
- Yeah.

That's it, keep your
right hand down a little bit.

You got it.

Hey, you're doing
real good, Joanie.

How's this?

Great.

Hang on, now.

Yeah, that's it. Sit up
a little more straight.

- Keep your toes in.
- Oh...

You're teaching
me real good, Phil.

Aw, you can do it
yourself. Looks good.

You're doing great.

Boy, you sure are
a good teacher, Phil.

Aw, shucks, there's nothing
to it with a girl like you.

Oh! Oh, uh, there's
my mom and dad.

I'll be right back, okay?

- Oh, okay.
- Okay.

- Hi, Mom and Dad.
- Hi.

Phil taught me how to ride.

Phil?

Howdy, ma'am; sir.

Oh, yeah, he's just a local boy.

You already know how to ride.

Yeah, but he doesn't
know that. Shh.

She not only grew
taller at summer camp,

she grew smarter.

Looks like we got company.

What are you doing here, bucko?

I heard there was a rodeo on,

and came over to
enter some of my boys.

That's fine, that'll be, uh,

an entry fee of $10 per person.

Oh, it's worth it

just to see some
of you tenderfeet

try and bumble through a rodeo.

Here you are, sonny.

Now that that's taken care of,

I think you fellas better mosey.

Mosey?

I just thought some
of my boys and I might

take a little dip in your pool.

You mind?

- Only one thing stopping you.
- What's that?

- Me.
- And me.

Hey.

Hey, don't forget
about me. Whoa.

Howdy, Fonz.

Hey.

Why don't you fill me in, Red?

All right. It all started
when we got here.

Well, he's got a
Cadillac with horns on it.

Uh, something about a
paper and we owe him money.

He's a sidewinder, Fonz, we're
trying to get him out of here.

We'll leave when
we feel like it.

Well, I certainly hope
that you feel like it,

'cause your horses
are gonna leave.

We'll meet again!

How did he do that?

They had to be female horses.

Well, I'll be over
helping the guests.

Excuse me.

Whoa, nice to meet you, too.

Yeah. Great.

You meet her on the
trail or something like that?

No. Her name is Thunder.

She's a wrangler
here at the ranch.

Well, there must be
something to this, uh,

ranch life, you know?

- Yeah, there is.
- Hey.

You ride into any
sunsets, you know?

Sunsets?

Oh.

No, Fonz, no... we had one
pretty good conversation.

Well look, I don't
want to interfere here,

I mean, if you want to
put your brand on this filly...

Hey, listen to me, I'm
talking like a cowboy.

I'm dressed like a
cowboy, I feel like a cowboy.

No, Fonz, no, I...
We're just friends.

- Yeah?
- I think she's a very nice girl.

Seems bright, certainly
is conscientious

with all the livestock.

- Just your average cowgirl.
- Yeah.

Her name's Thunder?

I'm gonna go over there and
see if I can make some lightning.

Whoa. All right,
stop your horse.

Whoa, whoa, there, whoa.

Ah, so you're Fonzie.

Yeah.

You're Thunder.

Yep. And uh, this
here is Licorice.

Likewise, likewise.

Do you ever brush?

Hey, let me say
something to you, uh...

you know, in Milwaukee,
we got this, uh,

natural wonder
called Inspiration Point,

and I was just wondering
if maybe you and me

want to start, like,
the Western version.

Well thanks a lot, but uh,

Richie and I have
got to walk the horses.

- You do, huh?
- Uh-huh.

I'm alone here.

Is it me?

Now, hold it, wait a minute.

Girls, you had me
worried there for a minute.

Don't do that again, huh?

Nice to see you...

Nice to see you.

Let's go on a
little nature walk.

Did you ever see this over here?

Thank you.

Thank you, thank you, Tex Weber,

for that sad but lovely song.

And now it's hoedown
time, so everybody line up

and it's the Virginia reel.

Come on, Richie, let's stomp.

Well, I don't... uh, stomp.

I don't think I stomp.

Hey, cowgirl, how would
like to twirl with me?

I'm real sorry, but
this is Richie's dance.

I guess this is, uh, my dance.

What do I do?

I waste my gas money
looking like Roy Rogers,

she dances with a carrot.

Get over here.

Do you want to, uh... with me?

- Yeah.
- All right, let's do it.

Fonz, that was pretty good.

Yeah, they say that I got
a knack for the do-si-do.

Do-si-do, uh... Virginia reel.

Yeah? Well, then,
I got two knacks.

- You did real good, too, Richie.
- Oh, thanks.

Kid didn't do too bad,

once I get the hang
of it there, you know.

All right, Rich, where did you
learn how to stomp like that?

Oh, well, you know...

I really appreciate that you
danced with me, you understand?

Why don't you get
yourself some punch

or something right
there, all right?

- Thanks.
- Yeah, don't worry about it.

Hey, uh, pretty cowgirl,

there's a beautiful
moon out there tonight.

Why don't we eyeball
it together, huh?

Hey, you know,
that's a good idea.

I think I'll take a walk
with my two favorite fellas.

Yeah.

Richie and my horse, Licorice.

♪♪

Good afternoon,
ladies and gentlemen.

And welcome to the
seventh annual Bar A rodeo!

Sanctioned by the Colorado
County Cattleman's Association,

who's also provided
all the prize money.

Here's some
Western jokes, Howie.

They're gold. Don't ruin 'em.

Oh... Thanks, Ralph.

And, uh, now, on with the rodeo!

Leading off the parade
is Marion Cunningham,

doing some tricks
on a dancing horse.

And now entering the arena

is a chuck wagon.

"Speaking of chuck wagons,

"did you hear the one
about the drunken cowboy

"who went up to the
chuck wagon chef and said

"he hadn't had a bite
to eat in three days,

so the chef bit him?"

Oh, boy, this is exciting.

Yippe-yi! Yippee-ay!

Yippee-o! Yippee-u!

I know all the yippees.

- Let's give the fans a thrill, Al.
- Okay.

- Giddyup!
- Look out, Rich!

Uh, oh. Whoa! Whoa!

- Oh, hold the horses.
- Hold the...

Are you gonna make it?

Oh, man!

And now entering the
arena is a young lady

representing one of the most
famous of Western women,

Annie Oakley.

Thank you, Annie Oakley.

And button your shirt.

Uh, gold helped settle the
West as thousands of prospectors

flooded the area in
search of easy money

and stayed to
become solid citizens.

The prospector's means

of transportation was
the ever-faithful burro.

"This burro's name is

"Manhattan, and he
has four brothers...

Bronx, Brooklyn, Queens
and Staten Island."

I'm gonna k*ll you, Ralph.

He's tarnishing my gold, Pots.

Whoa! Whoa!

Oh, yeah!

Fonzie!

It's rodeo time,
ladies and gentlemen.

And the first event
is bronco busting.

In one corner, Thunder McCoy!

Now, look, Thunder,
you don't have to do this.

Aw, it's fun.

Besides, every penny I
win goes to your Uncle Ben.

See you, Richie!

Outside!

There goes a real human being.

Go, Thunder! Go, Thunder!

Come on, Thunder! Ride him!

A beautiful ride,
ladies and gentlemen.

Aw... Fun, huh, Rich?

Yup, this is the life.

The great outdoors,
roping, wrangling.

Kind of makes you want
to enter it, doesn't it?

Are you nuts, Rich?

Hey, Joanie.

- Hey, Rich.
- Hiya, Phil. What you doing?

Well, I want to make
sure I get a good seat.

The girl trick riders
are coming up.

I really dig girl trick riders.

Oh, what a coincidence.

I'm gonna enter
the trick riding.

Oh, brother.

But I just taught you
how to ride yesterday.

Oh, but you're
such a good teacher.

Kids.

Kids in the West.

Yee-haw!

Ride 'em, cowboy!

I'm gonna bust this bronco.

I'm gonna wear you out!

Yee-haw!

I think I'm ready
to try it, Pots.

Yeah. Too bad they don't
have an event for this thing.

You're real good.

I'll tell you something, Pots...

bronco riding's all a matter
of timing, skill and courage.

Right.

You don't have
any of those things.

Pots, let's get
on up to the corral

and see if we can
rustle us up some fillies.

Couldn't we find us
some girls instead?

Just kidding.

Ladies and gentlemen, may I
direct your attention to Diablo?

For the fourth consecutive
year, the Cattleman's Association

is offering $1,000

to the first person who
can ride this k*ller bull.

And the offer is good

for the duration of Diablo's
stay at the Bar A Ranch.

And now, the next contestant...

the next contestant is Billy
Jenkins from the Lazy Bar Ranch.

"Jenkins has roped many a calf.

That's how he met Mrs. Jenkins."

That's my dad.

Yeah, it is.

Oh, Howie, I should
have done the joke.

Sure, Malph.

Oh.

It's roundup time.

Not bad, huh?

Whoa.

Arthur, are you going to
enter any of these events?

Mrs. C., I have
set lots of records

outside the rodeo arena.

Hi.

Boy, it's going great, isn't it?

Dad, those jokes you're
doing... very funny.

It must have been the delivery.

I see your cowgirl is
doing just great out there.

Fonz, she's not my cowgirl.

Is that a fact?

I can't believe it.
You're getting all riled up

just because we
took a walk together!

I'll tell you something,
Carrot. I ain't riled!

Ladies, please.

Attention, ladies and gentlemen.

We have a challenger to
ride Diablo, the k*ller bull.

It's Hank Plunket.

Hank Plunket from H.
R. Buchanan's ranch.

And I have, right
here in my hand,

a certified check for $1,000,

if Hank can stay
on for eight seconds.

Poor Uncle Ben.

That's why he tried to ride
the bull... to win the $1,000.

Well, Uncle Ben always
went for the easy buck.

Is that a joke, Howard?

Watch the bull, Marion.

You've got to ride
this Diablo, Hank.

Those dudes, at the Bar,

the Bar A Ranch, are
winning prize money.

I don't like that.

- All righty, boss.
- All right.

I'm here to give this
gentleman a hand.

Is the rope tight?

Oh, don't worry, sonny.

I checked it myself.

I don't trust a boy
doing a man's job.

You're all set, Hank.

All right, here we go.

- All set.
- Open the chute!

Good luck!

Oh!

Uh...

The time on that... one second!

Time sure flies when
you're having fun, doesn't it?

And now for the
trick riding event.

And the first contestant
will be Joanie Cunningham

from the Bar A Ranch.

I-I just hope she doesn't
try anything too tricky.

- Do you know what you're doing?
- Yeah!

"Yeah!" That's what you said

just before you fell off that
bicycle, remember that?

And this is a lot
taller than a bicycle.

Aw, sit on it, Rich.

You just make
sure you sit on it.

I will.

I told you to sit on it!

- Is she all right?
- Yes.

That's our daughter, folks, huh?

Oh, Joanie, I didn't
know you could trick ride.

Trick ride?!

I was riding no
hands and slipped.

The whole time I was trying

to get back on the
horse... I tell you.

Oh... It was nothing, nothing.

All in a day's ride.

Hey, Joanie, that
was really something.

Yeah.

Ah, well, you're
such a good teacher.

Oh, yeah? Come on, I'll
help you wipe the horse down.

Oh...!

See you, folks.

"Oh, you're such
a good teacher."

- I don't know why she...
- Don't say anything, Marion.

You used the same
line on me in high school.

- I never did.
- Oh, yes, you did.

I was getting C's in biology
and you were getting A's

and you asked me to help you.

You just never forget a
thing, do you, Howard?

Oh, howdy, ma'am.

This is a nice
rodeo, Cunningham.

It's too bad I'll be
running it next year.

Oh, yeah?

Same to you, sidewinder.

Same to you? That doesn't
make any sense, Marion.

Will you just announce
the rodeo, Howard?

Okay, folks, on with
our Western Jamboree.

♪ Hear the crowd ♪

♪ Giving spirit to the cowboy ♪

♪ How they love
the fighting cowboy ♪

♪ Teamed against
a stronger foe ♪

♪ Town to town ♪

♪ Always wishing
he could stay awhile ♪

♪ And always looking
for a friendly smile ♪

♪ He don't like to be alone ♪

♪ Listen for the rodeo ♪

♪ This is where you
will find the quiet hero ♪

♪ Listen for the rodeo ♪

♪ This is where you will
find the joy and sorrow ♪

♪ The joy and sorrow ♪

♪ At the rodeo ♪

♪ The rodeo ♪

♪ The rodeo. ♪

Ladies and gentlemen, competing

in the final event of the
day... Thunder McCoy.

- That, look at that! Terrific!
- Fantastic, Thunder!

Boy, that was
fast. That's great.

Great!

Oh, a good time,
ladies and gentlemen...

Ten and a half seconds.

Ladies and gentlemen,

the official judges have
picked as the overall winner

our own wrangler, Thunder McCoy.

Well?

Ah, it's coming along just fine.

Oh, great.

Maybe sometime tomorrow night.

All right, then let's just
serve something else.

Well, we still got the beans.

Well, serve them, Alfred.

You've done a wonderful
job disguising the beans.

Aw, thank you.

Uh, Mom... Mom, look,

the guests are
not gonna like this.

I mean, especially after lunch.

Bean kabob.

They're not gonna
like not eating, either.

Hey!

It just passed medium raw.

Maybe I can fix it.

Oh, hey.

Ladies and gentlemen...

in keeping with our
rodeo flavor of the day,

our chef, Alfredo...

has prepared an
authentic cowboy meal

for you all tonight.

More beans.

I'm sure that you're
all gonna enjoy

this simple fare,

so typical of the Old West.

All right, listen up!

Al's trying his best.

In the old days, you
would have had to go out

and trap your own
dinner... Squirrels, skunks...

That's right, pee-yew! Skunks!

You better just be grateful.

Thank you.

You're all much too kind.

Marion, are you sure
these figures are right?

Positive.

Even with the rodeo
money that Thunder won.

At the rate we're going, we're
gonna be $1,200 or $1,300 short

when the note comes due.

Well, don't worry about it.

We'll make it.

Dear, this Western air
has made you so forceful.

Yes, it has, hasn't it?

Tell me, has it done
anything for you?

Uh, maybe.

Oh, uh, I'm going
out and watch the, uh,

deer and the antelope play.

Yeah, yeah, yeah,
yeah, yeah, yeah...

I'll see you later
at the pool, okay?

Oh, I love your flower.

Don't forget.

Oh... the hunk loves me.

The hunk loves me not.

The hunk loves me.

The hunk loves me not.

Howdy.

Well, hello there, young fella.

You see, I told you
that I smelled something,

but I thought it was a
rotten banana, you know?

It's you.

What are you doing here?

Oh, I just came by to
remind you all that there's just

24 hours left before I,
uh, throw you off the ranch.

Well, I just want to remind you

that we still have a day.

And we may make it.

Uh-huh.

Not bad for a bunch
of dudes, huh, bucko?

Uh...

do me a favor, okay?

Don't "young man"
me again, all right?

It gives me a rash.

Yeah, sure.

I like to leave with a bang.

Hey, what's happening?

- Help!
- Grab the reins, Joanie.

Help!

She can't! They're trailing!

Help! Mom, Dad, help!

Hurry! I'm afraid!

I didn't know she
was in the wagon.

I didn't even see her.

- No kidding.
- Oh!

I didn't see you either.

Come on, Red, let's go.

Oh, my goodness.

Hold onto your hat.

Oh, boys, catch her.

Hurry! Please!

Help! Help me!

Somebody help me.

I can't reach the reins!

Help! Help me!

Help! Help!

Stop! Please, stop!

Please, Fonzie,
Richie, rescue me!

Help! Help!

Mom, Dad, help!

Hurry! I'm afraid!

Stop! Please stop!

Please, Fonzie,
Richie, rescue me!

Help! Help me!

We're gaining on 'em!

Good, Fonz! Just keep me posted!

Fonzie, Richie, help me!

I can't get the reins!

Help me!

Fonzie, Richie, get up here!

I can't... Help me, Richie!

Watch out, watch
out for the wheel!

Hold on, Cunningham!

Why?

You don't want to know.

Fonzie, watch out for the ditch!

Aayyh!

♪ Good-bye, gray
sky, hello, blue ♪

♪ There's nothing can
hold me when I hold you ♪

♪ It feels so right,
it can't be wrong ♪

♪ Rockin' and
rollin' all week long ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

- ♪ Happy and free ♪
- ♪ Oh, happy days ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

- ♪ Share them with me ♪
- ♪ Oh, baby ♪

♪ These happy days
are yours and mine ♪

♪ These happy days are
yours and mine, Happy Days! ♪