06x07 - Sweet Sixteen

Episode transcripts for the TV show "Happy Days". Aired: January 15, 1974 – July 19, 1984.*
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Set during the 1950's, the series revolves around teenager Richie and his family who owns a hardware store and Fonzie, who would eventually become Richie's best friend.
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06x07 - Sweet Sixteen

Post by bunniefuu »

♪ Sunday, Monday, happy days ♪

♪ Tuesday, Wednesday,
happy days ♪

♪ Thursday, Friday, happy days ♪

♪ The weekend
comes, my cycle hums ♪

♪ Ready to race to you ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

- ♪ Happy and free ♪
- ♪ Oh, happy days ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

- ♪ Share them with me ♪
- ♪ Oh, baby ♪

♪ Good-bye, gray
sky, hello, blue ♪

♪ There's nothing can
hold me when I hold you ♪

♪ It feels so right
it can't be wrong ♪

♪ Rocking and
rolling all week long ♪

♪ Sunday, Monday, happy days ♪

♪ Tuesday, Wednesday,
happy days ♪

♪ Thursday, Friday, happy days ♪

♪ Saturday, what a day ♪

♪ Groovin' all week with you ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

- ♪ Share them with me ♪
- ♪ Oh, happy days ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

- ♪ Happy and free ♪
- ♪ Oh, baby ♪

♪ These happy days
are yours and mine ♪

♪ These happy days are yours ♪

♪ And mine, Happy Days! ♪

Happy Days is filmed
before a studio audience.

♪ Stop, look and listen ♪

♪ Hear what I'm saying ♪

♪ Stop, look and listen... ♪

Potsie, you got to sing out.

I can't hear with you
blowing in my ear.

Oh, man, what kind
of rehearsal is this?

The drummer stays
after school, Malph's late,

and you think you're
Boots Randolph.

What are you yelling at me for?

Boots.

Boots Cunningham.

Please, please.

Hey, guys.

- Hey, Malph.
- Hey, Malph.

Malph, where you
been? It's about time.

- I've been doing band business.
- Oh...

You're gonna love this.

I'm introducing a
whole new sound.

A new sound, huh?

What'd you do, learn
how to play the piano?

Learn how to play...

You haven't got it, Rich.

Forget the piano.

Wait till you see this.

I've got a boom-ba.

Boom-ba?

Boom-ba, baby.

That was terrible.

You never did like
"Stardust" anyway.

Oh, Richard, Warren.

- Oh, hi, Mom.
- Mrs. C., Joanie.

Ralph, oh, I see
you're-you're rehearsing

for Joanie's Sweet 16 party.

Mrs. C., I've got a whole
new sound for the band.

Oh, what'd you do,
learn to play the piano?

It's a one-joke family.

Mom, if he plays this
at my party, I'll stay 15.

Never mind. Ralph will behave.

Now, listen, dear.

Are you sure that you
wouldn't rather have your party

in the ballroom of
the Pfister Hotel?

Oh, no. Mom, I grew
up here at Arnold's.

I've always hung out here.

Well, I guess you're right.

Young girls shouldn't
hang out at hotels.

No.

Oh, madame.

Mademoiselle.

Al and I talked it over.

We're going with the
"Gay Paree" theme.

I guessed.

Mais oui, madame.

Just imagine the finest
of French cooking.

And for the pièce de résistance,

I just finished an eight-foot
ice carving of the Eiffel Tower.

But, Alfred, the party
isn't for five days.

Clarence, clear
out the refrigerator!

Well, that all just
sounds wonderful, Joanie.

Now, what do I tell your father?

Oh, uh, it's $12 a person, Mom.

You know I can't
tell your father that.

Alfred!

Alfred, now, about
this $12 a person...

Uh, Rich, it's the
"Gay Paree" theme.

- Ah, terrific.
- Wait! Gay Paree!

It's the cancan!

Well, there goes 50
cents for ten lessons.

You should take
a dollar's worth.

Oh, good-bye, Alfred.

It's a pleasure doing
business with you.

$1.19.

Hi, sweetheart.

Oh, Howard.

What are you doing,
gift-wrapping tonight's dinner?

No, Howard.

Just more out-of-town
gifts for Joanie's birthday.

This is from your
cousin, the Nortons.

Well, I hope it's
something good.

Remember last year, when
their Alice was confirmed,

we sent them a
very expensive gift.

Yes, Howard, but what
is a little girl gonna do

with an electric drill?

It's the thought
that counts, Marion.

Besides, it had four speeds.

Stop playing, Howard,
and just take all this outside.

Uh, Daddy! You're home early!

No, I'd say I got
here just in time.

Oh, uh, uh, this is my
dad, and, uh, this is my...

Don't-don't tell me.

This is your sister.

Uh, no. This is my mom.

Folks, this is
Terrence Corrigan.

But you can call me Tip.

How do you do, Terrence?

Tip Corrigan, the
star quarterback?

Oh, boy, Tip Corrigan,
the quarterback!

Would you like
to stay for dinner?

Oh, I-I'd love to stay
for dinner, Coach,

but, uh, well, you
know how it is.

Oh, yeah, sure, I understand.

But you remember that
you're welcome here anytime.

Right, Marion?

Good-bye, Terrence.

Uh, catch you later, sport?

Oh, sure. Okay, Tip.

No, Dad, I think he
was talking to me.

Oh. Excuse me.

Okay.

Your pop's got
some sense of humor.

Yeah.

Got to go.

Thanks, Tip.

I love the sweater.

Yeah, knew you would.

It's made for you.

Hey.

See you.

Bye.

You take care of that
throwing arm, now!

Boy, oh, boy, how
do you like that?

Yeah.

Sweet 16, dating the
star quarterback, huh?

Boy, our Joanie
has really matured.

Yeah.

Oh, and he gave me his sweater.

You know, every girl in the
world wanted his sweater,

and he gave it to me.

Me, me, me, me, me.

He gave it to me, me...

Now, I ask you, is this
dazzling or is this dazzling?

Oh, Arthur, you just
take my breath away.

That's formal coveralls.

Well, a man... a man
has got to dress up

when he's getting an
honorary degree from...

"Home Study School
of Auto Repair."

This is a very, uh,
uh, prestig... uh...

pres... uh, important
place, you know.

Oh, I know, I know.

I've seen their
matchbook covers.

Let me ask you a question.

Are you sure that Shortcake

understands that I can't
make it to her Sweet 16 party...

It being the same
day and all that, huh?

Oh, certainly, she understands.

I mean, this is such
a big honor for you.

The biggest.

Only one other guy got an
award from this place, Bob Hope,

and I'm picking it up in person.

Arthur, I'm so proud of you.

Oh, Arthur, I wish Joanie
could find a nice wonderful boy

like you or Bob Hope,

instead of this boy Tip
that she's going with.

Arthur...

she's just so young.

Hey, cool yourself, Mrs. C.

Young ladies change
steadies like socks.

But you should hear the
stories I hear about him.

Terrible!

You could tell me.

Well, he goes with a
million girls at once.

Yeah.

Now tell me one of
those terrible stories.

Oh, it's just that I hear
horrible stories about him.

I hear, you know, stories
about you, too, Arthur, but...

Whoa.

I know they can't be true.

What?

The stories that
I hear about you.

Mrs. C., I hope you
have a wonderful day.

Whoa.

Oh, you miss me, Tip?

No kidding?

Why, I just saw
you a half hour ago.

Yeah, a half hour's a long time.

Yeah.

Um...

Uh, well, uh, uh...

Oh, good, I found it.

Cub Scout training.

Yeah, I got to go, too.

Good-bye, super hunk.

Are you talking to Potsie?

Funny.

It was Tip.

Oh.

Hey, listen, can I speak
to you for a second?

What's the occasion?

You haven't set foot
in here since 1955.

Well, looks like you haven't
cleaned it since then either.

Oh, you liked that one, huh?

Oh, not especially.

But I smile a lot when
I'm in a good mood.

Oh, uh, Tip, huh?

Yeah.

Rich, you're the first
to know, I'm in love.

Oh, now, wait. Before
you say anything,

I've heard all those
stories about Tip,

and he told me himself.

But that's all over now.

It's true love for me and Tip.

And you know what
he said to me today?

"Go out for a pass"?

Uh, what did he
say to you today?

He said, "Rosebud,

"you're the only girl I've
ever really cared about,

and you're really
special to me."

Yeah.

Joanie, look, this is what I
wanted to talk to you about.

You see, uh,
you're 16 years old,

and-and, well, this is
just a case of puppy love.

Oh, no, Rich!

It's-it's more than puppy love.

I... I-I get a queasy feeling in
my stomach when I see Tip.

Joanie, there's more
to love than queasiness.

Oh.

And when I think about him,

my hands get
all, you know, all...

Yeah, I know, I know.

- Sweaty palms - Yeah.

- And the queasy stomach.
- Uh-huh.

Mine, mine, mine.

Yeah, I-I've been
through all that.

I know what
you're talking about.

Look, you're gonna
meet a lot of Tips

before you find the right one.

So just don't fall
too hard, okay?

Just don't want to see
you get hurt. Careful.

Thanks for worrying, Rich,
but I'm not gonna get hurt.

This is true love
for me and Tip.

All right, all right.

But if you need anybody
to talk to, I'm always here.

Thanks, big brother.

Well, you keep these records.

I'm a little too old for "Toot
Toot Tootles the Tugboat."

Rosebud...

before I give you my sweater,
I just want you to know that

I like you better than
any girl I've ever known.

And...

- you're really special to me.
- You're really special to me.

Oh, hiya, baby!

Don't "baby" me!

Now, now, Joanie, hold on.

So I'm special, huh?

Everybody was
right about you, Tip.

You're a... you're a real creep!

Oh, and-and here's your sweater.

Give it to someone
who'll enjoy it.

I'm off!

Now, wait a second, baby.

We can work this
whole thing out.

Now, now, why don't
you and I take a nice drive

up to Inspiration Point, huh?

Why don't you go
alone and jump off.

Now, now, Rosebud,
give us a kiss.

Don't "Rosebud" me.

Here's your kiss.

Ow!

Well, if that's the
way you feel about it.

Hey, Al.

Joanie, what's the matter?

Oh, nothing I couldn't handle.

Al, have you ever
heard of anyone

that-that didn't have a date
for their own Sweet 16 party?

Yeah, yep, yep, yep.

♪ ...in my heart. ♪

- Hey, Shortcake!
- Shh!

Fonz, my parents are sleeping.

Forgot.

Middle class keep
very strange hours.

Hey, look, I got a
two-hour ride ahead of me

before I pick up my M.A.

Master of Auto Reparations.

Don't ask.

Look, before I go,

I want you to have this.

I wrapped it myself.

Oh, Fonz.

Oh, it's a sachet.

Yeah, that's French
for "smells good."

And, look, you know what?

The saleslady said you put
this in your dresser drawers,

it makes your clothes
smell like rosebud.

- Rosebud.
- Yeah.

What's the matter?
You already got one?

You don't like
it? I can return it.

- You're not hurting my feel...
- No, no, Fonz, no.

I love it, and that's so sweet.

Oh, Fonz, I broke
up with my boyfriend,

and-and I don't have
a date for my Sweet 16.

Well, I don't think that
guy shows very good taste.

I know a guy that would be
crazy to take you to your party.

You do?

I do.

What's he like? Is he cool?

Very, very.

Oh.

He wears a leather jacket, huh?

Everywhere but the shower.

Well, thanks.

But I can't.

You're turning down
a date with the Fonz.

What, are you crazy?

I can't let you take me
'cause you feel sorry for me.

Sorry?

Hey, I would be very proud
to have you on my arm,

taking you to your own party.

You're gonna take those
pin curls out first, right?

Thanks, Fonz.

Uh, I'm pretty popular tonight.

Dad and Richie asked me, too.

Don't you understand after
us three, it is all downhill?

Thanks, but, uh...

you go pick up your degree
and don't worry about me.

I'm 16.

I'm mature.

I may not be happy, but,
uh, honestly, I'll handle it.

Thanks.

Let me tell you something.

That is the nicest
turndown I have ever gotten.

As a matter fact,

that's the only
turndown I ever got.

Whoa.

Are you ready, Joanie?

Coming!

- Oh, Joanie.
- Oh, Joanie.

Wow, you look great.

Thanks.

Uh, I have an announcement.

I'm not going to my party.


What?

What do you
mean? It's your party.

Some Sweet 16 party... My
mom had to get me a date.

Hey, there is nothing
wrong with Burton Fitch.

Now, listen, young lady,
you are going to that party.

Now, don't be silly.

You'll have a good time.

Oh, oh, that's probably him.

I-I want to get
it. I'll get it, Mom.

I don't want you to appear
to be overly anxious.

That's no problem, Rich.

Hi.

Uh, doorbell's stuck.

Got a screwdriver?

Well, I-I don't think
we need a screwdriver.

Here, just...

Thanks.

It's all right.

I guess I should have knocked.

Uh, no problem.

Well, it's, uh... it's nice
seeing you again, Burton.

Oh, nice seeing
you, too, Dickie.

Have a nice time, Joanie.

We'll see you later, Dickie.

Hello.

Hi, Burton.

Boy, did you grow up!

Didn't she grow up?

Thank you, Burton.

Boy, you really grew up neat!

Didn't she grow up neat?

- Burton, isn't that candy?
- Boy, you...

- Candy?
- Under the arm.

Oh.

Right. Here.

Oh! I'm sorry!

I-I can wash them
off, if you want.

Oh, don't worry, Burton.

Accidents happen.

It's all right, I'll get it.

- Howard...
- Mm?

You're on a diet.

I was just gonna
help you pick them up.

Uh, Mom, uh, well,
we'd better get going.

Oh, yeah, we really should go.

By the way, I-I brought
a Sweet 16 corsage.

- For you. Yeah.
- For me.

May I pin it on you?

Sure, go ahead.

It's really nice.

Well, I could pin it here,
but you wouldn't like that.

Why don't you
try the waist, huh?

- All right.
- I'll hold it.

She'll hold it.

Oh, isn't that sweet?

16 sugar cubes.

Before we go, I'd
like to get a picture.

Burton, will you and
Joanie stand over there

- for just a minute?
- Sure.

Yeah, that's it.

Now, smile, Joanie.

- Come on.
- All right.

Oh, that's fine.

Now, hold it.

- Ah! Good, good, good.
- Good, good.

Uh, Marion, you go
stand next to Joanie.

Burton, would you
take one of the family?

Oh, sure.

Please.

- All set.
- All right.

All you have to do is
just look through there.

- Uh-huh.
- And click the little button.

Everybody ready?

- All set.
- Say cheese!

I guess I pushed
the wrong button.

- Yeah.
- Yes, you did, Burton.

♪ When you were only six ♪

♪ I was your big brother ♪

♪ When you were only ten ♪

♪ We didn't like each other ♪

♪ When you were 13 ♪

♪ You were my funny valentine ♪

♪ But now you've grown
up, the future is sewn up ♪

♪ From now on,
you're gonna be mine ♪

♪ So happy birthday, Sweet 16 ♪

♪ Happy birthday, Sweet 16. ♪

Merci, cherie.

Ooh.

Ah, a little ketchup,
a little mustard.

Some more for you, madame,
and some for you, monsieur.

Mm-hmm.

Voilà, c'est magnifique.

Oh, Alfred, you're the
Picasso of hamburgers.

Do you want to eat it

or should I frame it for you?

You better frame it.

A critic.

So, the very next day, Jenny...

You know Jenny?

Oh, no, I don't go to Jefferson.

I know.

I thought everybody knew Jenny.

Well, anyway,

Jenny got caught for smoking.

In the boys' room!

Uh, Joanie, could I
talk to you for a second?

Oh, sure.

Uh, be right back.

Great party, isn't it?

Yeah, a real doozy.

Look, Joanie, our
moms set this up,

and it's-it's just not working.

I mean, we've been
here over an hour,

and I don't know anybody here,

and you're having
fun without me.

Well, you're not
leaving now, are you?

I-I messed up the whole evening.

- Hey...
- But, Burton...

Happy Sweet 16, Rosebud!

Oh. What are you doing here?

This is a private party.

Hey, baby.

I decided to give
you another chance.

- I'm warning you, Tip, I bite.
- Oh.

Hey, bucko.

You heard her.
It's a private party.

Uh, I can handle it, Rich.

I think the lady wants
you to leave her alone.

Hey, b*at it, junior.

You don't want to mess
with Tip Corrigan, huh?

Tip Corrigan?

The Tip Corrigan?

Yeah.

I didn't know!

Gee, could I shake your hand?

Sure, kid.

Great!

Ow! That's my arm!

And don't come back until
you learn some manners!

Wow.

So much for the floor show.

And now, for tonight's
main attraction,

our very own Sweet 16 girl...

Excuse me.

Sweet 16 young lady...

will share this dance
with her favorite fella.

Joanie.

Please stay.

The next dance is for you, okay?

♪ Put your head on my shoulder ♪

♪ Hold me in your arms, baby ♪

♪ Squeeze me, oh, so tight ♪

♪ Show me ♪

♪ Show me that
you love me, too ♪

♪ Show me that
you love me, too... ♪

Joanie, can your
father and I come in?

Oh, sure.

Oh, I was just standing here,
thinking about the evening.

Yeah. It was a nice party.

Yeah.

Look, sweetheart, she
cleaned up her room.

Oh.

You know, dear, in
all the confusion today,

we forgot to give
you our present.

Oh, but you gave me
my present: the party.

And, oh, it was so great.

Now, you just close
your eyes, huh?

Oh. Okay.

Close them and
keep them that way.

Okay, you can open them.

Oh... they're pearls!

What a surprise!

Oh, I love them.

- I love you so much.
- Oh, sweetheart.

Thank you.

Oh, here, help me, Mom.

Let me... let me
try them on. Here.

Oh, I'll get that.

Hello.

Oh, hi, Jenny.

Oh, wasn't Burton cute?

We love you, too, dear.

Thanks for everything.

Would you like the door closed?

Oh, wait until I tell you this.

I'll close the door.

Oh. Well, sure,
he drove me home.

Took us two hours.

What a hunk.

Jenny, you were right.

They got me pearls!

♪ These happy days are
yours and mine, Happy Days! ♪

♪ Good-bye, gray
sky, hello, blue ♪

♪ There's nothing can
hold me when I hold you ♪

♪ It feels so right,
it can't be wrong ♪

♪ Rockin' and
rollin' all week long ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

- ♪ Happy and free ♪
- ♪ Oh, happy days ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

- ♪ Share them with me ♪
- ♪ Oh, baby ♪

♪ These happy days
are yours and mine ♪

♪ These happy days are
yours and mine, Happy Days! ♪
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