08x15 - Don't Speak Ill of the Living or the Dead

[bunniefuu]

Have you thought of anyone yet?

Not yet.

What, you don't have one single
friend who will go out with me?

You know, I don't
have that many friends.

Really, I don't, and the ones
that I do have are seniors.

You're going out
with him. He's .

Doesn't bother me.

You have to have one
friend that it wouldn't bother.

I'll keep trying.

Why can't Mac just
find his own date?

I don't know.

He's just not good at it.

I'll call you after practice.

Hi.

Hi, Pam.

I'd like to go
out with that guy,

the one were taking to, Mac?

Okay. Give me your number.

Really?

You'll fix me up just like that?

Why not?

What if he doesn't
want to go out with me?

Why wouldn't he want
to go out with you?

You're a junior, right?

Sophomore.

Mac's in my homeroom.

Actually, I've known
him since first grade.

I'm sure it'll be fine.

I'll give him your number,

and he can call you or just
talk to you in homeroom.

That would be great.

You sure it'll be okay

with your parents

if you go out with
someone they don't know?

It'll be okay as long as he
comes in and meets them.

Of course.

Thanks.

This means a lot to me,

more than you know.

♪ th Heaven ♪

♪ When I see their happy faces ♪

♪ Smiling back at me ♪

♪ th Heaven ♪

♪ I know there's
no greater feeling ♪

♪ Than the love of family ♪

♪ Where can you go ♪

♪ When the world
don't treat you right? ♪

♪ The answer is home ♪

♪ That's the one
place that you'll find ♪

♪ th Heaven ♪

♪ Mmm, th Heaven ♪

♪ th Heaven. ♪

(barks)

It's the same thing every year.

People in costumes.

Models of wooden teeth.

Cherry pies and pictures
of crossing the Delaware.

Stovepipe hats, "fourscore
and seven years ago" speech.

Lincoln Memorial,
yada-yada-yada.

Who cares?

What are we going to do?

I can't think of anything.

I can't either.

It's tomorrow.

We have to do this tomorrow
and we have nothing.

I'm surprised
you're not finished.

Maybe it has something
to do with the fact

that we got partnered for this.

Oh, so I kept you from
coming up with any ideas?

No, but it's not like you
came up with any of your own.

We don't have time to fight.

We have to think of something.

(sighs)

Okay, what if George
Washington or Abraham Lincoln

were presidents today?

Either one of them?

What would we be
doing our presentation on?

What would we do if we
had to do a presentation

on President Bush or
former President Clinton?

We'd be taking a look at
everything they ever did wrong

and putting a bad spin
on everything they did right.

We could write up articles
and put them in newspapers,

like the ones they sell
at the grocery store.

And make Washington
or Lincoln look like losers.

That's a great idea.

No one's ever done that.

Well, at least not at school.

So do you like my idea?

I'm the one who said

take a look at everything
they ever did wrong,

and put a bad spin on
everything they ever did right.

I'm the one who said
to put it in newspapers,

and make them look like losers.

I don't care who
gets credit for it.

It's a great idea.

I feel the same way.

No one else is
going to think of this.

We're going to get an A.

An A-plus.

Let's get started.

But what if we can't
find enough information

to make Washington
or Lincoln look bad?

Then I guess we just make it up.

That's what the pros do, right?

Ready to go to Grandpa's?

Yes.

We can't wait.

We're just going for the weekend

and that's at the
end of the week.

So, you know, we
have a few more days.

I can't wait to fly in a plane.

And go out to eat.

I love cafeterias.

I do, too.

ERIC: How was your day?

Oh, busy.

How was yours? Pretty busy, too.

I'm trying to get
everything out of the way

so I can enjoy the weekend
with you and the boys.

Have you heard from

your sister lately?

She's not exactly
my sister, but no.

Does Lilly know what's
going on with your dad?

I'm sure she does.
Why all the questions?

It's just that maybe Lilly
could fly out from Chicago

once in a while and help out.

Look, I mean, it was nice that
she was able to meet my father,

but she was adopted
by two people.

She had a mom and a dad.

And even though
he was technically

the birth father,
he's-he's not her dad.

Not really.

I was just thinking that,

you know, since her
adoptive parents d*ed

and she made the
effort to meet your dad,

that it's odd that she
hasn't made any effort

to help out at all.

She must care about him.

Must she? How do you know?

I, I, I...

Why don't you
just give her a call

and touch base with her.

Because I don't want to!

Fair enough.

And I know what all this
"I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I" means.

Kevin, may I see you?

Off the record,

has Roxanne mentioned
anything to you?

About?

Nothing. Just asking.

Have you mentioned anything
about Detective Michaels to me?

No, definitely not.

I never said a word.

What's going on?

Nothing.

Not that I know of.

Come on, mention whatever it
is he thinks you mentioned to me.

No, I can't.

Believe me.

I'm going home.

(phone ringing)

Hello.

Just the man I was looking for.

I've got a moral dilemma.

A moral dilemma?

Is that you, Roxanne?

What? I can't have
a moral dilemma?

Yeah, of course you can.

My advice is wait until
you get to know him better.

Funny.

Would you just meet me for
pizza tonight and talk to me?

Uh, yeah, of course.

Can I be of any help?

Why are you offering?

You had a busy day.

I thought maybe I
could help, that's all.

You had a busy day, too.

So, we both had a busy day.

We can both make dinner.

First of all you're
only offering to help

because you know I'm not
happy with you at the moment.

And secondly, I'm
not happy with you

because I know you know
something about my sister.

So why don't you just tell me

and stop b*ating
around the bush?

Okay, but this is
going to annoy you, too.

Lilly called me

and she asked me
if you were okay,

because she thinks
that something is wrong

between the two of you,

but she has no idea
what that something is.

You told her that
you'd try to find out?

I told her I'd talk to you.

Isn't that the same thing?

Well, Lilly said she tried

talking to you already.

And I figured since
you're my wife for life,

I could talk to you.

Don't try to humor me.

I wasn't trying to humor you.

I was trying to avoid
an argument with you.

If you were trying to
avoid an argument with me,

you never would
have talked to Lilly,

but once you did talk to Lilly,

you should have hung up the
phone and called me right then.

I wanted to talk
to you face-to-face.

And obviously,
something is wrong,

but I don't know what it is
and you don't have to tell me.

Good, because I'm
not going to tell you.

Fine, that's fine.

Why don't you just tell her?

Because I don't want to!

Hmm?

Can you take us to the library?

We need to do some
research for a school project,

and it's due tomorrow.

And you're just now
doing the research for it?

Peter, that doesn't
sound like you.

We're doing this
together. I couldn't help it.

Uh, well, yeah, I'll take you,

but we only have a
couple hours before dinner.

Thanks.

I'm taking Ruthie and
Peter to the library.

I'm taking...

ANNIE: I heard you.

Roxanne can't go out
with me for pizza tonight.

Why not?

She didn't say.

Call her back and ask her.

If she wanted to tell me,
she would have told me.

She's up to something.

And it has something to
do with Detective Michaels.

She didn't say anything
about Detective Michaels.

(phone ringing)

Hello.

Hey. Why don't we go
sh**t some pool tonight?

Wait a minute.

Why can't we sh**t
some pool tonight,

or stay home together tonight?

I can't.

I'm meeting Roxanne
for some pizza.

I'm sorry. Lucy
was talking to me.

I missed what you just said.

Why are you meeting
Roxanne for pizza?

Oh, I don't know.

Some moral crisis
that she thinks

she needs to talk to me about.

I wonder why she
didn't talk to me about it.

I have no idea.

Maybe it's just an
excuse to see me.

Or maybe the moral crisis
involves someone I know.

Well, if it's not just
an excuse to see me,

then it is a personal problem

that Roxanne needs
to talk to me about,

and I'm afraid I've
already crossed the line

in even mentioning
it to you, so...

not to sound rude, but, uh,

I think I need to
just quit talking now.

I understand.

See ya.

(phone beeps off)

Your friend Roxanne
is cheating on you.

She's meeting Chandler
for pizza tonight.

Ugh! Why don't
those two just let it go?

I don't know.

Maybe they have.

I'm going to change.

We're going out for pizza.

But I want to eat here

with the rest of the
family. You'd go out

for pizza with Roxanne,

but you won't go out for
pizza with your husband?

Chandler told you that

they're going out for pizza.

We just can't pretend
to bump into them.

He knows you
know where they are.

And besides that, you
can just bump into Roxanne

tomorrow at work, can't you?

Detective Michaels
is up for promotion,

and he seems concerned

that Roxanne knows something
that she might have told me.

But she didn't tell me anything.

And it's obvious she's going
to tell whatever it is to Chandler.

Are you sure you want to know?

I thought you hate gossip.

Doesn't that fall under gossip?

This falls under
investigative work.

Wait a minute.

Hold the phone.

If she's meeting Chandler
to tell him something

that she couldn't
tell me or you...

then maybe it does
have something

to do with Detective Michaels.

Maybe Roxanne is
dating Detective Michaels.

You know... I
do feel like pizza.

I'll wait for you in the car.

(phone ringing)

Camden residence.

Hey... it's me.

I got Mac a date,

and she's really cute.

And she's .

She's in his homeroom.

Her name is Pam.

Great. I'll let him know.

Thanks. (phone beeps off)

(taps on door) You
forgot your sweats.

Hey, come in.

That was Cecilia on the phone.

She got you a date.

I knew she'd come
through. Who is it?

Ah... some girl you know
from your homeroom.

Uh... her name's Pam.

No way.

Cecilia says she's
cute. Well, she is,

but I'm not going out with her.

No one will go out with her.

Why not?

You're kidding. You don't know?

No, I don't know.

I'm not calling
Cecilia with this.

You're the one that
asked her to get me a date.

I asked her because
you asked me.

I was doing you a favor.

This is no favor! Yeah...

I guess it wasn't,
but you tell Cecilia.

I don't know her well
enough to tell her.

You tell her.

Thanks again for
dinner, Mrs. Camden.

Oh, you're more than welcome.

We have to go upstairs
and make a phone call.

Actually, I'd better be going.

I have homework.

You can do it after we
make the phone call.

I'll just let you
make the phone call.

No, you won't.

Fine.

You want me to embarrass
the poor girl, I will.

If you don't want to
embarrass her, then just...

make something up.

Should I be here for this?

We're going upstairs.

(sighs)

We're off to get copies.

We made a newspaper
about Washington and Lincoln.

We're going to make
copies for the whole class.

It's for our presentation
tomorrow at school

for Presidents' Day.

Terrific. Sounds great.

Did you get in
touch with Lilly yet?

Nice try, but drop it.

So are you, uh, really
here for the pizza?

This is not some lame
attempt just to see you again.

I'm perfectly happy
just being your friend.

I even like being
your friend because...

then when things
like this happen,

I have someone to turn to.

So what's your big dilemma?

LUCY: Hi.

Hi.

Oh, I'd ask you to join us,

but this is kind of
a business meeting.

And I'd ask you to join us,

but I know you're
both just being nosy

and trying to find out what I
know about Detective Michaels.

Detective Michaels?

Why couldn't you talk to me
about Detective Michaels?

'Cause you're married to him.

Why couldn't you
talk to me at the office?

(sighs)

Guys, do you mind?

Yeah, I do mind.
Because the fewer people

who know you're going
out with Detective Michaels,

the better. What,
are you trying to k*ll

his chances for promotion?
What, are you nuts?

I'm not dating
Detective Michaels.

Who said I was dating
Detective Michaels?

I was just guessing.

Well, go guess some more.

KEVIN: All right, look,

if you're not dating him,

then this is probably
none of our business.

So I apologize for
jumping to conclusions.

LUCY: Me, too.

And I feel like an idiot for
coming down here with him.

Is this your idea?

Maybe she's starting
to wear off on me.

Good night.

I'm hungry.

Well, we can't eat here now.

Why doesn't he want
to go out with her?

He just doesn't.

If they didn't have a good time,

then he'd have to sit
in homeroom with her

every day for the rest
of the year after that.

And if they do have a good time?

You talk to her.

Hey, Cecilia.

I can't go out with
Pam. I'm sorry.

I... I appreciate your getting
me a date with her, but...

I thought I was going to
be with one of your friends.

I told you.

My friends won't go out

with somebody two years
younger than they are.

I don't know what your
problem is with Pam,

but she's expecting
to go out with you.

So, if you're not taking
her out, you tell her.

I can't.

You have to.

You know what...

I don't have to.

Make him tell you why he
really won't go out with her.

Why don't you tell me?

'Cause it's, it's...

it's too stupid.

You wouldn't think it was stupid

if it was my girlfriend
who set you up with her.

You don't have a girlfriend.

If you had a girlfriend, we
wouldn't be in this situation.

Hey, would you just...

tell me what's really going on?

Go ahead.

Okay, but don't
get angry with me.

How did you get
matched up with him?

I signed up for this
reading program,

where you teach an
inmate how to read.

It's a volunteer program.

I was looking for something
to do other than date.

And that's where you
met him... in prison?

Technically, in
the prison cafeteria,

but he is a prisoner.

An honor prisoner and he's
getting out in six months.

Ah, we've got company.

Hello, Roxanne, Chandler.

Thought I might find you here.

Not with Chandler,
but with Lucy.

I had a change of plans.

I think it's me you
need to talk to, Roxanne.

You mind, Chandler?

No. No. No.

I've got it. Oh.

Thanks.

Put Mac back on the phone.

This poor girl wet her
pants in the first grade,

and no one will let
her forget about it.

Who could forget?

You. You could forget, and
then maybe everyone else would.

No, they wouldn't.

Well, they should.

Don't you think ten years is
long enough to t*rture someone?

Think about it.

She's been embarrassed
every single day

for the past ten years.

That's a decade.

She was in the first grade.

She was just a little girl.

She couldn't help it.

I'm surprised she's still
showing up for school.

It's a miracle she
hasn't dropped out

just to get away from you

and all your little
elementary school playmates.

I know. We nicknamed
her Pampers.

You did that?

It wasn't just me.

I think you are despicable.

I'm just like everyone else.

What's all the shouting about?

No, you're not
like everyone else.

You want to know why?

You're going out with Pam.

I'm going to make
you go out with...

Pampers.

Pampers?

She says she's going to
make me go out with Pampers.

She's funny when she's angry.

And crazy.

Mostly crazy, so watch out.

Hey, you can't make me.

Aw... I don't think you
should have said that.

Can you go to the Camdens'
house and b*at this guy up for me?

Maybe I can't make you,
but my dad can make you.

(dial tone buzzing)

(phone beeps off)

Have you ever met Cecilia's dad?

Yeah.

Is he a big guy?

No, but I wouldn't cross him.

There's this very
nice girl at school.

And when she was
in the first grade,

she wet her pants
in front of the class.

And ten years later, people
are still talking about it.

I didn't know.

I fixed Martin's
friend up with her,

and now he won't take her out.

I'll go talk to him.

And thank you for believing

that I could b*at up a
-year-old boy baseball player.

But I think

I'll have to go with a lecture.

And that's how the
kangaroo got its pouch.

We're back.

Oh, good.

We're going to take
this book to Grandpa's.

We're going to let him read it.

It's really good.

That's great.

Annie, can I talk
to you for a minute?

Say good night.

Good night, Daddy.

We love you.

I love you, too.

I love you, too.

(kisses)

Did you have any idea what
Ruthie and Peter were putting into

their little newspaper?

No.

Good night, everyone.

What were they thinking?

(sighs)

I thought you might
be heading this way.

Come. Let's talk.

Hi, Mr. Smith. Hello, Martin.

This must be your friend
that Cecilia's told me about.

Mac.

So what are we going
to do about this Pam?

What do you think he should do?

Well, having a daughter,

I might see things a bit
differently than you two boys see it,

but I'm trying to look at
it from your perspective.

And that would be?

Well, you're athletes.
You like to win.

So, let's come up
with a win-win situation.

Well, as long as it doesn't
involve me going out with Pam,

I'll all for that.

The correct way to say that is:

"my going out with Pam,"

as long as it doesn't involve
"my going out with Pam."

Right. Thanks. Yeah.

(Mac laughs)

My point is is I
can't go out with her.

See, if I go out with her,

I'll never survive
the locker room.

The guys will never
let me forget it.

I can imagine.

But on the other hand,
Pam has never been allowed

to forget a stupid,
embarrassing thing

that happened
in the first grade.

That was ten years ago.

And she survived it
because she had to.

You can't just
drop out of school,

even when every
single day is t*rture.

I think what
Mr. Smith is saying is

the right thing to do is to
go through with the date.

Because after all,
you're tough enough

to survive what anyone's
gonna say to you.

Martin,

so far, you are my very
favorite of any young man

that Cecilia's been out with.

Thank you, sir.

Oh, that right there,
that's it: the "sir."

It's just so refreshing to hear.

Good manners.

That's a sign of class.

Doing the right thing, that's
the sign of moral integrity.

So, Mac, have you got class?

Have you got moral integrity?

Honestly, I don't know.

Sir.

I think you do.

And with those two things, you
can change a young woman's life.

Good night. Good luck.

I feel like pummeling you.

You can try.

Are you going or not?

I think we have to walk
past Pete's to get to the car.

And if Roxanne and
Chandler are still there?

I thought you'd be proud of me.

Proud that you've disparaged
two great American presidents

for a presentation at
your school on the day

that's been set
aside to honor them?

But everyone always
does the same thing.

And besides, a lot
of this stuff is true.

Or it could be true.

Or it might be true?

Or it might not.

Now look, it's late,

and I know you don't
have time to redo this.

I don't want to redo
it. I think it's good.

I don't understand
what you think is good

about saying terrible things

about George Washington
and Abraham Lincoln.

But everyone else is gonna
be saying the usual good stuff.

You know, Ruthie...

(phone rings)

Uh-uh! Martin will get it.

You have a choice here.

You can either go ahead
with what you've done...

or you can ask for another day

to present what
might at least be

a more balanced presentation,

which is at least
some of what you have,

but also what these two
presidents accomplished

during their lifetimes.

I don't know why
you're defending them.

It's not like they never
did anything wrong.

They were human.
They made mistakes.

First of all, it's not
as if they're here

to defend themselves,

and secondly... they
did make mistakes.

But is that all you want
to remember about them?

(approaching footsteps)

(knocks)

Sorry to interrupt. Mrs.
Camden, it's for you.

It's Lilly.

I'm leaving now. Before I go...

(sighs)

He didn't call.

He was out with Martin
until late last night.

And you know what?

If he doesn't ask you out,

I'm going to set you
up with someone else.

A better someone.

Someone who doesn't
go to this school?

Someone who didn't
go to my middle school?

Someone who didn't go
to my elementary school?

Look, I was wrong to ask you

to set me up with
Mac in the first place.

I've known him forever.

I just think that
he's a nice guy,

and... I don't know.

I thought maybe he was nice
enough to give me a chance.

But I understand.

If he went out with me, if
anyone went out with me,

then they would be
going out with Pampers.

I should just forget
about having a boyfriend

or any friends for
three more years,

and then go to college a
long, long way from here.

Well, that stinks.

Three more years on top of ten?

I can do it.

How? How do you do it?

I just focus on my school work

and spend a lot of time
with my family, a lot of time.

What else am I going
to do? Kids are mean.

Well, you're not,
but most of them are.

Thanks for trying.

You know what?

At least every time I come
to my locker from now on...

I don't feel like
I have to hide,

now that I know you
know about my big incident

and you're not laughing at me,

I can actually look up from
the ground long enough

to get my books.

Thanks, Cecilia.

This is gonna be a good year
for me just because of that.

You know, my dad is a really

smart man. You should
have listened to him.

Why didn't you say something?

She didn't give me a chance.

You'd better not blow
this relationship for me.

I like her.

And you know how tough
it is to get a girlfriend.

You can stop right there.

Anyone who has one of these,

please pass it to
the front of the row.

Those of you sitting
at the front of the row,

kindly bring them to
the front of the room

and put them in the trash.
You two, come with me.

Did we do something wrong?

It's Presidents' Day.

This is the day

we honor George Washington
and President Lincoln.

Did you think there's a national
holiday set aside for them

because they were "the
original warmongers"?

We were just trying

to do something
different from everyone.

Then you succeeded.

On the other hand, that
wasn't the assignment,

so you are both
getting a failing mark.

And I want to discuss
this with you and

your parents and the principal.

Ruthie Camden,
you of all people.

It's was Peter's
idea... and my idea.

My mom and dad
tried to talk us out of it.

They should have tried harder.

My mom didn't know about it.

RUTHIE: Please, just
give us another chance.

We can come up
with something better,

something more... traditional.

Look,

maybe, just maybe
I was so shocked

by your display of
disrespect that I overreacted.

I guess I could consider
letting you have a second try.

But you should come in tomorrow

prepared to do your very best

as opposed to your very worst.

We will. I promise.

Promise.

"Lincoln's Hemp Pipe."

(sighs)

(chattering)

(laughing)

Where's your partner?

I haven't seen her.

Is this about her?

I have no idea.

All right,

this won't take but a
few minutes of your time.

I've something to
say to you, all of you.

Last week one of your fellow
officers, Roxanne Richardson,

volunteered for the
department's new reading program

that helps inmates learn to
read or improve their reading skills

in preparation to
enter the job market.

When she got to the Honor
Farm, she was assigned a prisoner.

That man is my brother.

He served years
for armed robbery...

and he's getting
out in six months.

My brother's arrest,
conviction, and sentence

had a great effect on
me as a young man.

He's the reason I
decided to spend my life

on this side of the law.

While I've never
hidden that information,

and it was included
in my application,

to become a police officer,

I also haven't talked about
it openly outside our family.

I didn't want to put
Officer Richardson

in the awkward position of
having to keep this a secret.

Now you know.

And I hope that this doesn't
affect your opinion of me.

My brother has
spent most of his life

paying for his mistake,

and I know that he will
not be re-entering society

to repeat his past.

He's looking forward to
being back with our family,

and we love him, care about him.

If you have any questions,
I'm happy to answer them.

Thank you.

I'm sorry that Lucy and I
jumped to the wrong conclusion.

That's okay. Believe
me, with my past...

I completely understand.

Still, we're your
friends, and I'm sorry.

(doorbell rings)

I'm coming!

I called last night to
tell you I was flying in.

I can't let this
go on any longer.

I'm sorry to just show
up like this, but really,

please, Annie, talk to me.

Whatever I did to
upset you, I'm sorry.

Okay, Lilly. Come in.

Let's talk in the kitchen.

Please. Do you
want a cup of tea?

That would be nice.

Uh, I don't like
confrontations, and...

I find this very awkward...

but you took that box of photos.

You could have at least asked.

I did ask.

I asked Ginger.

And Annie, I didn't take
them; I borrowed them.

I copied them and
I returned them.

Oh.

I wish you'd said something.

But really you're right,

I should have asked you.

They're your pictures,
not... not Ginger's.

And I could have called.

I'm sorry. I don't know
why I was so angry.

I was just upset that
my father's deteriorating

and I was jealous that
you spent that time with him

on a week that I couldn't.

And to tell you the truth,

I felt like you had

a window into my past.

And I didn't want
you to look in.

I didn't want to share
those photos with you.

I don't know why.

I think I do.

Because I wasn't
part of that past.

I wasn't part of your family.

The pictures are very personal,

and I had no right.

So again, I apologize.

I have a hard time
sharing whatever time

my dad has left with you.

But you should see him.

You should spend as much
time with him as you can.

I have my memories.

I have my photos.

But, but you, you
just have a name

on a birth certificate,

and what little time you've
been able to spend with him

since you found out
that he's your father.

And while I thought I had
come to terms with this, I haven't.

Annie, I hope we don't lose
touch with each other again.

I don't want to
intrude on your life.

I really don't.

But if you could just call
me sometime, anytime.

Lilly, as my father's
gotten worse,

I've realized that...

I'm losing my family.

When he's gone,
there's only Ginger.

And I love her,

but, well, she's not my mother.

I know how you feel, Annie.

I remember how I felt
when I lost my parents.

I felt so alone.

That's why I went searching
for my biological parents.

I know, and now maybe I
can really begin to understand

your need to meet
him and to spend time

getting to know him.

And you.

I'd-I'd really like to be with
you and your family more often,

whenever it's convenient.

Let's not let
convenience determine it.

Let's plan on it.

I'm sorry I don't
have more time today.

I'll take that cup of tea.

And then I have

to get back to the airport.

I'm meeting my fiancée.

We're going to Hawaii.

Honeymoon?

It's more a vacation.

When are you gonna break
down and marry that guy?

I don't know.

Things are fine
the way they are.

Well, things could be better.

(door opens)

Lilly only has a few
minutes, but, ah...

maybe you could talk to her
about her commitment phobia?

'Cause I'd really like
to see her get married.

(both chuckle)

Hey, Pam, I was going
to call you last night, but...

but I didn't.

So I looked for you in homeroom,

but you weren't around.

I went to the clinic
so I could avoid you.

I told the nurse I
had a headache.

So...

You don't have to ask me out.

See, I feel stupid for not
asking you out sooner.

Would you go out with me?

Are you actually going to show
up and take me out in public

where other people will see us?

Possibly even students
from this school?

That's what I was
planning, yeah.

You know, you'll
be their next victim.

So what? I can take it.

Maybe we should go
on a pre-date tonight.

Go grab a burger
at the Promenade

and plan what we're
gonna do tomorrow night.

Sure.

That was Lilly. They
just got to Honolulu.

I'm so happy you
two worked things out.

I am, too.

Now I'm really looking
forward to our trip

to see my dad and Ginger.

Me, too.

Oh, Dad, by the way,

you and Mom were right

about that President"
Day paper we did.

We should have listened to you.

It didn't go well, huh?

Worse than not well.

We were really embarrassed.

We felt completely humiliated.

After all the great things
both those presidents did,

and considering their
place in American history,

who were we to
take a sh*t at them?

A couple of disrespectful
eighth graders,

who were willing
to sacrifice honor

for a sh*t at a
moment in the spotlight.

Shameful.

Well, I don't know if you need
to be that hard on yourselves.

At least this
taught you a lesson

and you learned something.

We were lucky we didn't get
sent to the principal's office.

And we're lucky our teacher's

given us a second sh*t
at a presentation tomorrow.

Well, you two, you'd
better go get started,

and I'll finish up here.

Oh, believe me, we got started
the second we got home from school.

We don't want to
blow a second chance.

We got to make this
the best presentation

that anyone's ever seen before.

It's always good to put
your best foot forward.

All right, what do
you want me to do?

We need you to
talk to some people.

How many?

Three.

I'm glad you decided
to sh**t some pool

with me and the guys.

I just felt like getting out.

Thanks for inviting me.

You didn't have to tell them.

I wouldn't have said anything.

Oh I know that, Roxanne.

I wanted to tell them.

I've wanted to tell
everyone for a long time.

I don't like keeping secrets.

It's a burden.

Sometimes necessary,
but still a burden.

You try to bury your past

and the hole just seems
to get deeper and deeper

and today I'm done with that.

So, the promotion?

You're the first to know
and you can tell the world.

I made captain.

Congratulations.

You deserve it. Thank you.

What the heck is all this?

All: ♪ For he's a
jolly good fellow ♪

♪ For he's a jolly good fellow ♪

♪ For he's a jolly good fellow ♪

♪ Which nobody can deny. ♪

Congratulations, Captain!

(cheering and applause)

This is really nice.

Thank you for everything.

Hey, thank you for
letting me be a jerk to you

for the past ten years
and still going out with me.

So where do you want
to go tomorrow night?

Anywhere, anywhere at all.

MAC: I was thinking

you could go with
Cecilia to our game

and then afterwards we could
eat dinner with the Camdens.

It's a free meal and
she's a really good cook.

You can't just eat
there any time you want.

MARTIN: Yeah, he can.

Mrs. Camden invited him.

Okay, I'll let her know
it'll be the four of us.

The th president
of the United States,

Abraham Lincoln, was born
dirt-poor in Kentucky in .

Primarily self-educated,

he grew up in a log
cabin on the frontier

where he worked
hard, served as a soldier

and then taught himself law.

After serving in state politics

and the US House
of Representatives

he was elected
president in ,

directly resulting in seven
states seceding from the Union

to form the Confederate
States of America.

His struggle to reunite
this divided country

earned him a reputation as
one of our greatest presidents.

In summary, George Washington

was one of this country's
greatest presidents.

Born into a Virginia
planter's family,

he served as Commander in
Chief of the Continental Army,

leading us to win our
independence from England.

Later, he helped
stabilize our young nation

at the Constitutional
Convention at Philadelphia

in , where he was
unanimously elected

the first president
of the United States.

After serving two terms,
he retired to his home

at Mount Vernon,
where he lived a quiet life

until he d*ed in .

At the time the nation
mourned his death,

but today and every year at
this day, we celebrate his life.

I hope you enjoyed
learning about

two of our most famous leaders.

Now I hope you enjoy
a piece of cherry pie.