05x01 - Hollywood: Part 1

[bunniefuu]

J' Sunday, Monday, happy days J'

J' Tuesday, Wednesday,
happy days J'

J' Thursday, Friday, happy days J'

J' The weekend comes,
my cycle hums J'

J' Ready to race to you J'

J' These days are ours J'

- ♪ Happy and free ♪
- ♪ Oh, happy days ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

- ♪ Share them with me ♪
- ♪ Oh, baby:

♪ Good-bye, gray sky,
hello, blue ♪

♪ There's nothing can hold me
when I hold you ♪

♪ It feels so right
it can't be wrong ♪

♪ Rocking and rolling
all week long ♪

(organ solo plays
over rhythmic handclaps)

♪ Sunday, Monday, happy days ♪

♪ Tuesday, Wednesday,
happy days ♪

♪ Thursday, Friday, happy days ♪

♪ Saturday, what a day ♪

♪ Groovin' all week with you ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

- ♪ Share them with me ♪
- ♪ Oh, happy days ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

- I Happy and free I
- S Oh, baby I

♪ These happy days
are yours and mine ♪

♪ These happy days are yours ♪

♪ And mine, Happy Days! I

♪ What's in her kiss? ♪

♪ Sha, Ia, Ia ♪

- ♪ What's in her warm embrace ♪
- ♪ Sha, Ia, Ia ♪

- ♪ That keeps a smile... ♪
- ♪ Sha, Ia, Ia... ♪

The note on the garage door
says he's here.

Don't worry about it, boss.
I'll find him.

Um...

Hey, uh... hey, kid,
are you the mechanic?

Me? A mechanic?

Do you see any grease
under those nails?

(laughs)
Me a mechanic.

Look, now, fellas, we really
don't have time for games.

We're looking for the mechanic.

He's probably looking
for Fonzie.

Uh, if it's about your daughter,
we never heard of him.

Hey, can the wisecracks,
will you, chicky?

Do you know
who you're talking to?

Uh, Hinstead, forget it.

This happens to be one

of the biggest talent scouts
in Hollywood.

-(Potsie laughs)
- MAN: Hinstead!

Hollywood talent scout
here in Milwaukee? (laughs)

Right, and I'm Pinocchio.

HINSTEAD:
Here,

Pinocchio.

MAN:
Look,

we have some auditions
in Chicago,

and-and our car broke down.

I mean, what's the difference?

Just show us where we can find
this Fonzie guy, okay?

Hey, Pots, get a load of this.

"Jack Duvall, talent scout,
Paramount Pictures, Hollywood."

This guy's on the level!

- Hollywood?!
- All right, I do comedy.

- Wait till you see this.
- You see?

Here we go.

Good evening, ladies and germs.

How do you like me so far?

- You're doing great, Malph.
- I know, I still got it.

Yeah, well, and I sing.
I sing real good.

- ♪ Venus, make her fair ♪
- Why? Why do you always...

♪ A lovely girl with sunlight
in her hair ♪

- ♪ And take the brightest stars
up in the skies ♪ -Gentlemen.

- ♪ And place them
in her eyes for... ♪ -Please!

I'll clear this table
in a minute.

Here. Here.
What can I get for you?

Can you get rid
of these two clowns, please?

Oh, no, no, no. I'm the clown.
He only sings.

- Yeah, yeah.
- Come on, come on.

♪ Venus, goddess of love
that you are... ♪

We'll rehearse in here.

POTSIE:
♪ Surely the things I ask... ♪

Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.

Didn't you forget something?

That's enough.

I don't want to chap my lips.

Hey, Alfredo, life is great.

(Alfred laughs)

That's Fonzie.

Oh, no, no,
don't worry about it, chief.

I'll-I'll take care of it.

(coin clinks)

Hey, uh, hey, kid,
where you been?

Kid?

Well, well,
whatever your name is.

L-Look, you got
to fix our limousine.

This kid is on a break.

(slow ballad plays)

Get a load of that kid.

That hood's got some nerve.

Yeah.

Don't worry, boss.
I'll take care of him.

- Sit down, Hinstead.
- Right, boss.

Let me handle this.

Excuse me, sir?

Sir. That's very nice.

What can I do for you?

Well, look, I'm terribly sorry
to bother you,

but, uh, do girls always
run to you like this?

I got to tell you,
this crowd is, uh, slow.

Usually, they jump.

Well, I want to tell you
that, uh,

I'm a Hollywood talent scout.

Oh, no. Thanks very much,

but I discovered all the talent
I need right here.

Oh, no. (laughs)

No. no. no, no.

I, uh...

I-I don't think you understand.

You see, I've been combing
the country

for America's new James Dean.

James Dean.
Now, that's important.

I'll have your limo ready
in an hour, Jack.

Now, wait, wait.

Now, I...
I've been watching you,

and I think you've got a lot
of potential.

I mean, you could be
the next James Dean,

the hottest star
in this country.

Couldn't we have this convo
when I finish my dance?

I'm serious.

No, look, I'm serious. I...

Aren't you excited?

Hey, look at this.

Anybody's excited
with a few minutes with Daphne.

This guy is really cool.

I mean, did you see the way
the girls run up to him

when he snaps his fingers?

I mean, this guy has magic!

Hey, good. He'll be able to fix
our limo like that.

Forget the car.

Hinstead, I think we've stumbled
onto a major new talent.

HOWARD:
I don't see

why you don't want to go
to the convention.

Dad, I'm sorry, but this is
my last summer before college,

and I've got to do
something big.

I've got to do
something exciting,

and that's why I can't go
to the Leopard Convention.

What's wrong
with the Leopard Convention?

Well, I'll tell you
what's wrong with it.

Leopards, Leopards,
we are true.

We won't change our spots
for you.

Dad, that is not my idea
of exciting.

Well, of course
it's not exciting!

You forgot to growl.

(growls)

What are you trying
to do to me, anyway?

It'll be a fun
family vacation.

What-what vacation, Dad?

It's here in Milwaukee.

Oh. Marion. Mar... tell him.

Tell him!

Richie's right!

Howard Cunningham,
I have something to say.

Oh.

We have scrimped and saved
all year!

Now, we didn't do this
to go to downtown Milwaukee.

- That's right, Dad.
- Yeah.

How can I tell my mother
we went on vacation,

and we spent cents for gas?

And that's if we take
the long way!

-(overlapping chatter)
- I don't care, Marion.

Every summer,
we go to the conven...

Low.

Now, you all know
my cousin Chachi.

There's your little boyfriend.

- Hold your breath.
-(Richie laughs)

How you doing, blue eyes?

What are you selling today,
shrimp?

Oh, no. I sold all the shrimp
to Alfred.

But for you,
I got no-smear lipstick.

We can test it out later.

Wah, wah, wah.

Yeah. I-l beg
your indulgence, Mr. C.

Uh, we're not here
to make you out.

We're not here to sell.

The reason
I brought Chachi along

is 'cause he's got
some very hot info.

Take it away.

Oh, yeah, really hot.

(loudly):
Ladies and gentlemen!

Shy little fellow.

My cousin,
the one and only Fonz...

That's me.

...got discovered
by a talent scout at Arnold's,

and he's going to Hollywood!

- Oh, that's amazing!
- Oh! Oh, goodness.

- Wonderful!
- That's great!

Kids, imagine,
I have cooked veggies

for a Hollywood star.

Well, this is all very exciting,

but why is Chachi
telling us this?

Modesty wouldn't allow me.

Of course I'll be keeping an eye
on the garage

while Fonzie's gone.

Chach, this is my moment,
not yours.

Hey, is it really true?

Oh, yeah. He's not a star yet,

but he will be after they make
a screen test in Hollywood.

Ah, just a formality.

CHACHI:
Have fun in Hollywood, Fonz.

Catch you later, blue eyes.

That'll be the day.

Oh. Oh, Arthur.

You don't need a screen test.

You will be a star
the minute they see you.

(doorbell rings)

Come in.

Oh, hi, Ralph. Hi, Potsie.

They recognized us.

Rich, you're not
gonna believe it.

Pots and I here are going

to Hollywood tomorrow
with the Fonz.

D-Da-Dad,
they're going to Hollywood!

RALPH:
You bet.

Our last big fling, Rich.

Da-Dad, our last big fling!

Ralph, why are you carrying
an ironing board?

I took off the legs.

Now it's a surf board.

Oh! Da-Dad, did you hear that?

He's gonna be surfing.

Hey, I just got a flash.

Why don't the Cunningham brood
hop a ride

on my trip to stardom?

On behalf of the family,
I accept.

(overlapping chatter
and exclamations)

Now, wait a minute.

- Wait a minute!
-(group quiets)

Now, the convention starts
tomorrow,

and I've already donated
the dust pans!

Oh, Howard, come on now!

Think about this!

Now, we're a democratic family.

We want to go!

Marion, I'm going
to be the Exalted Keeper

of the Leopard Lodge!

Joanie, Joanie,
this is for Hollywood.

Show your dimples.

Don't you understand?

That's the first step
to becoming the Grand Poobah.

And a man has got to do
what he's got to do.

And I'm gonna do
what I got to do.

And we're gonna go
to California.

(cheering, screaming,
indistinct chatter)

♪ California, here we come ♪

♪ Right back
where we started... ♪

DUVALL:
Fonzarelli?

- Yeah. -Now, here's the script
for your screen test.

Now, study it and learn
the lines by tomorrow.

The test is at : .

Oh, he'll-he'll be ready.

Uh, the limousine will be here
at : .

Hey, who am I making
a movie with, roosters?

(chuckles)

Come on, you'll need
some makeup.

Makeup?
Hey, let me tell you something.

I'm supposed to be the new
James Dean, not the new...

(in high-pitched voice):
Natalie Wood.

(chuckles)

Well, she has to get up at : .

Now, the limo will be here
at : .

- Now, you got to be ready.
- HINSTEAD: Hey, boss?

Hey, I'll tell you,
it ain't easy being a star.

Well, what do you think
of it, huh?

Oh, Mr. C, that is
a beauty of a shirt.

- Yeah?
- What did you do, plug it in?

(Richie chuckles)

I'm kidding. I'm kidding.
I was just kidding.

It's nice. It's nice, Dad.

Yeah. Thanks.

One out of two isn't bad.

Nice shirt.

Oh, thank you.

Uh, look, I-I-I want to see
if I can find that, uh...

that drugstore.

You know, the one where
Lana Turner was discovered in?

I, uh... I got to buy
some suntan lotion.

Yeah, I see where it is.
Yeah.

Say, uh, listen,
I read in Life magazine

that most of the Hollywood stars
stay in those cottages

at the Beverly Hills Hotel.

Oh, that's not true,
Mr. Cunningham.

No? Well, they wouldn't stay at
a place like this, would they?

- Sure, they would.
- Why?

Because this is better.

Besides, it's near the beach.

- Oh, yeah. Maybe you're right.
-(Duvall chuckles)

Excuse me.

Could you, uh, tell me
where I check in?

Oh, yeah, the lobby
is right through that arch

and to your right.

Right through the arch
and to the right?

Uh-huh.

That's a beauty of a shirt.

Oh, thank you.
Thank you.

Hey, isn't that Lorne Greene?

Lorne Greene?
At the Hollywood Palms?

(laughs)

Hi, Dad. Bye, Dad.
I'm going to the beach.

Just a minute, young lady.

I'd like to see
your bathing suit.

- Can't I just tell you about it?
- Let's see it.

Straps are nice.

Now, you get back in there and
put on the rest of that suit.

Uh, Mother said
it was all right.

Marion!

Mar...

Now...

Now, that's what I call
a decent bathing suit.

Marion, did you see Joanie?

She's got a figure.

(Coughs)

Fonz, what's the matter?
You got a cold?

No, I'll tell you something--
the smog here is drastic.

Oh, yeah, smog, yeah.
This is Hollywood.

II

FONZIE: Wrong, Cunningham.
This is Hollywood.

(squealing laughter)

Heyyy. (chuckles)

I tell you something,
Cunningham,

this is fun in the sun.

- Fonz?
- Yeah?

Ha-Have you noticed that you're
the only person on the beach

wearing a leather jacket?

Course I noticed.
It brings me luck.

Hi. I'm Wendy.

I just love your leather jacket.

Need I say more?

I'm getting rid
of my rabbit's foot.

Marion, I don't know why
you're wearing that outfit.

Well, you know I burn so.

Yeah, but it covers up
your bathing suit.

And that suit cost me $ .

The least you could do
is to carry it.

Well, that's silly.
I'd get arrested.

Well, this looks like
a good spot.

Oh, it certainly does.

Watch it, Howard.

I am. I am.

Oh, Howard!

Oh... oh, I'm terribly sorry.

Watch it, chowderhead.

Ch-Chowderhead?

Yeah. Chowderhead.

You guys really lift weights?

Well, why don't we
just show you?

Come on, guys.

- Yeah.
- Show me? Um...

- One, two, three.
-(Joanie laughs)

-(whooping)
- You okay up there?

Uh, when you pick a girl up,
you really pick her up.

Oh, I like a girl
I can look up to.

-(laughing)
- Let's go. Hey.

Aah!

Look at this, Pots.
Look where we are.

-(chuckles)
- I can't wait to hit the surf.

On an ironing board?

I think your tide's
gone out, Malph.

It'll work. I can see the
headlines in Milwaukee now:

"Malph hangs ten in Pacific."

Hope you can get it
to stay this time, dear.

I don't want to burn.

(grunts)

What's to burn?

The only thing
you've got in the sun

are your tongue
and your toenails.

Ah.

Oh! Howard, my hat.

It's lovely, dear.

No, it blew off.

Oh, Jiminy Crickets, Marion.

Hurry.

Oh, Howard, sand.

Oh!

- Watch it.
- Look out.

Oh, I'm sorry.

ALL:
Chowderhead!

I know your father.

(kiss) Oh, my soft angel, we got
to get you some suntan lotion.

You're getting all red.

Your drugstore or mine?

FONZIE:
Heyyy.

Uh, Fonz?

We really do need
to memorize these lines.

Hey, Rich?

This is one part
I know by heart.

Later.

Later.

(screaming, cheering)

Look, Howard.

They're tossing
that girl in the air.

Isn't that fun?

(whooping)

That's not just
some girl, Marion.

That's our daughter.

Hey, Ralph, Potsie,
what's going on?

Rich, some girl
down the beach lost her top!

Come on, Rich, before some
weirdo gives her a towel.

(Potsie whoops)

Beach life.

Oh. (grunts)

Just thought I'd... drop in.

No, actually, I didn't see you.

Uh, are you all right?
Are you hurt?

Uh, no, no, but you're
lying on my legs.

Oh. Oh, right. I-I'm sorry.

Excuse me.

- It's all right.
-(g ru nts)

Hi. I'm Nancy Croft.

Oh, hi.

I'm, uh...
I'm Richie Cunningham.

Uh, you're carrying a script.
Are you an actor?

No. No, I'm a... I'm a writer.

Oh, did you write that script?

(chuckles) Well-well, yeah, I...

Sort of, you know.
I worked, uh...

Well, actually, no.

No, it belongs
to a friend of mine.

Oh, but you do write
for movies or for TV, right?

(laughs)

I-I'm more of a journalist.

Let's talk about you.

Well, uh...
what do you want to know?

Well, uh...

could I rub some
suntan lotion on you?

I don't have any.

Oh.

Your drugstore or mine?

(short laugh)
What are you talking about?

POTSIE:
Hey, wait a minute.

Another girl's top fall off?

Better. They caught a shark.

A live shark.
They got it penned up out there

until Marineland
can come and pick it up.

Did you hear that, Malph?
Isn't that great?

They caught a live shark.

- Great.
- A live shark!

Shark! Pots! A shark.

Pots, come on! Help.

Where is he? Where?

Shark! Aah!

Everybody switch.

Checking galleys?

Oh, yeah.
Well, that's very critical work.

Oh, that's nice.

Hey, Cunningham, you ready
to go over that script now?

Oh, not now, Fonz.

- Haven't got time.
- What?

Oh, well, I-l met
a nice girl here.

This is Nancy Croft.

Hey, you met a beach bunny,
huh? (quick chuckle)

I... I'm not a beach bunny.

I'm an oceanography major
at UCLA.

Yeah. Oceanography?

Oh, that's study of the sea.

I knew that. I knew that.

Have you seen the shark yet?

You telling me there's
a real shark out there?

Yeah, I sure do. A man-eater.

They caught him. They got him
in a cage underwater.

You want to swim out
and take a look at him?

Yeah, let's go swim out
and take a look at the shark.

Hey, hey, hey, hey, hold it,
hold it. Time out, here.

You seen one man-eater,
you seen 'em all.

MAN:
Hey, Nancy!

(crowd gasps)

(people whoop, applaud)

Who is that guy?
Great skier.

He's my cousin.

They call him
the California Kid.

His real name's Harold.

Hey, hey, girls.

-(kiss)
- All right. Yeah.

Hi, Nance.

Hey, girls.

What'd you think
of my perfect landing?

Great.

Do you know that Fonzie...

All right, girls,
you can drop the B-squad.

The first team is here.

Well, it looks like we got
a shutout here, you know?

Home team, zip.

Fonz, uh, one, two,
three, four, uh, five.

(chuckles)

Where'd you come from, paleface?

Oh, uh...

we're from Milwaukee.

Oh. Couple farm boys, huh?

Excuse me, ladies.

You're very lucky
I ain't a farm boy.

I'd have to rotate your crops.

Uh, I-in actuality, see, uh...

I'm a journalist and Fonzie here
is an ex-garage mechanic

who is now going to be
the new James Dean.

James Dean?

A grease monkey?

How'd you like me
to remove your clutch?

Fonz, take it easy, because
he's Nancy's cousin, he...

Well, actually,
we're only second cousins.

- Nancy. -I'm kidding, guys.
You don't want to fight.

Yeah, Nancy's right.
Fighting's kid stuff.

Let's settle this
in a manly way.

- Hey, you get a man,
I'll settle it. -(giggling)

How about a little contest?

You get some water skis,
and we'll run the slalom course.

(clears throat) Fonz?

Those patches on his shirt--

those come from winning
water-ski contests.

Rest easy, Cunningham.

Okay, then. The slalom.

Tomorrow afternoon.

Be here at : sharp.

My cousin's good.
Can your friend ski?

(laughs) The Fonz?

Can he water-ski?

Ha!

Can you water-ski?

FONZIE: You'll see, Cunningham,
but first thing's first.

Hey, everybody, here's
the sticks for the hot dogs.

Where'd you get those?

They're what's left
of my surfboard.

I finally caught a wave.

(laughter)

-(guitar strums)
- Here, pass them around.

GIRL:
Hey, can I have one?

- FONZIE: Little warm over here.
- MAN: Grab one.

(guitar softly strumming)

Oh, Howard,
isn't the beach wonderful?

Mm-hmm.

Especially since I don't have to
chase after your hat anymore.

- Oh, Howard, you're so romantic.
- Mmm.

I'll tell you something:

I really love
this California life.

You want a marshmallow?

You mean you're staying?

What, are you kidding?

After tomorrow, when I take care
of this simple screen test,

I'm gonna be here forever.
(chuckles)

Really? That's terrific.

You think that's terrific?

I'll show you something
terrific-- around my lip area.

-( i gles)
- Hey.

Let's walk.

I don't like crowds. Do you?

Oh. Oh, no.

No, I always do my
Christmas shopping early.

♪ Tonight you're mine ♪

♪ Completely ♪

♪ You give your love ♪

♪ So sweetly ♪

♪ Tonight ♪

.R The light .r

♪ Of love is in your eyes ♪

♪ But will you love me ♪

♪ Tomorrow? ♪

♪ Tonight with words ♪

♪ Unspoken ♪

♪ You say that I'm ♪

♪ The only one ♪

♪ But will my heart ♪

♪ Be broken ♪

♪ When the night ♪

♪ Meets the morning ♪

♪ Sun? ♪

♪ I'd like to know ♪

♪ That your love ♪

♪ ls love I can ♪

♪ Be sure of ♪

♪ So tell me now ♪

♪ And I won't ask again ♪

♪ Will you still love me ♪

♪ Tomorrow? ♪

♪ Will you still love me ♪

♪ Tomorrow? ♪

♪ Good-bye, gray sky,
hello, blue ♪

♪ There's nothing can hold me
when I hold you ♪

♪ It feels so right,
it can't be wrong ♪

♪ Rockin' and rollin'
all week long ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

- ♪ Happy and free ♪
- ♪ Oh, happy days ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

- I Share them with me I
- S Oh, baby I

♪ These happy days
are yours and mine ♪

♪ These happy days are
yours and mine, Happy Days! ♪