01x07 - Parents Night

[bunniefuu]

[theme music]

♪ Maybe the world is blind

♪ Or just a little unkind

♪ Don't know

♪ Seems you can't be sure

♪ Of anything anymore

♪ Although

♪ You may be lonely and then

♪ One day you're smilin' again

♪ Every time I turn around

♪ I see the girl who turns
my world around ♪

♪ Standing there

♪ Every time I turn around

♪ Her spirit's lifting me
right off the ground ♪

♪ What's gonna be

♪ Guess we'll just wait
and see ♪♪

[dog barking]

[instrumental music]

[camera clicks]

Alright, Brandon.

Let's try it again.

One, two...

three...

eat.

[camera clicks]

Listen, I realize you are a dog,

and I'm a person and we don't
speak the same language,

but I'm gonna say this
one more time.

Eat!

Here, I'll show you.

Mm. Mm.

Yum, yummy, yummy.

Henry, you forgot your lunch.

Boy, it looks like
I got here just in time.

I'm trying to get
your finicky mutt to eat.

If this magazine ad works out...

it could lead to more work
from the agency.

And that could mean dollars
in the cookie jar.

That is,
if I can get your pooch

and his palate to co-operate.

Hey, Henry.
Tonight's a big night.

Oh, yes. Of course.

And what night might that be?

Parent's night at school.

Oh, parent's night.

- When is it?
- Tonight.

What's tonight?

Parent's night! Parent's night!
Parent's night.

When is it?

Tonight, tonight, tonight.

Oh!

Henry, are you going... senilly?

That's senile.

And no, I'm not.

I'm just very busy right now.

Here comes the airplane

right into the hanger.

Henry, you have to come tonight

'cause everybody else's parents
are gonna be there.

I've been telling
everybody about you.

I want to show you off.

Oh, that's sweet.

Now, run off
to school before you're late.

Okay.

[instrumental music]

Hold it.

- What did you give him?
- Somethin' he likes.

- What?
- Your lunch.

[camera clicks]

Oh, and now, boys and girls

who can tell me the name

of the scientific force

that keeps everything stuck
to the ground.

[gasps]
I know, I know, I know!

Uh, Cherie?

What keeps things
stuck to the ground?

Uh, uh, crazy glue?

No, dear, that's not what
it says here.

Someone else. Uh...

I know, I know, I know!

- Uh, Punky.
- No fair, her hand wasn't up.

That's because it was being
held down bygravity.

Very good. Gravity, yes.

I knew that.

[chuckles]
Now, Allen,

I haven't heard
from you all day.

Perhaps you could tell me
the name

of the man who first
discovered gravity.

I don't know his exact name

but I heard
he's a really nice guy.

Yes. I'm sure he is,

was very nice.

Um, but who can tell me

the name of that nice guy?

Me, me! Oh,please!

Very well, Margaux.

Who discovered the force
of gravity?

It was Albert Einstein

in his theory ofgravitivity.

No, dear, that's incorrect.

Incorrect?
That's impossible.

I'm never wrong.

You better check your book.

I don't need to check my book.

If you had studied chapter nine,

you would know that gravity

was discovered
by, Sir Isaac Newton.

Isaac Newton?

I thought it was his brother,
Fig Newton.

[laughter]

[bell rings]

All: Yay!

Thank you, thank you.
I do my best.

And, now, boys and girls

I'll see you all this evening

at parent's night.

Mrs. Morton, you forgot
to give us homework.

All: Boo!

Margaux, we don't have time
for homework

it's parent's night.

[indistinct chatter]

We'll have plenty of time if we
go home straight from school.

Do our homework,
before we get changed

have our hair shampooed
and blown dry

and get our socks ironed

so we will look perfect
for tonight.

Thank you, Margaux,

but I think Punky is right.

We're all going to be nervous

with our parents here tonight.

I know I for one

am going to be a total wreck.

I think we can do without
homework for one night.

All: Yay!

Class dismissed!

[screaming]

Honestly, you creatures
are so immature!

Gee, Punky, how'd you learn
all that stuff about gravity?

Well, one day

I accidently dropped
a bag of apples on Henry's head.

He taught me all about gravity

and ice bags.

I hit my dad in the head
with the baseball once.

And all he taught me was
a bunch of words I can't use.

Henry teaches me
a lot of neat stuff.

He's the best dad there is.

Poor, Punky.

Sometimes she's so pitiful.

What are you talking about?

Henry can't be
the best dad there is.

Why not?

'Cause he isn't
your real father.

He's just a foster.

Everybody knows
that foster's aren't

as good as real parents.

They don't care as much.

That's not true.
Henry cares about me.

He went to court
and fought to get me.

All your dad had to do

is kiss your mom and wait around
for nine months.

I bet you after he kissed,
he barfed.

Make jokes if you will.

But my real mother is waiting

for me at my real home

so we can cook a real dinner

for my real father

and not my foster father.

[Margaux shrieks]

Don't listen to her, Punky.

She's just jealous.

I know. Wait till tonight.

She'll see that Henry
is the best dad

in the entire universe.

Even Pluto?

How about Goofy?
[chuckles]

Eddie, if Henry
doesn't get here soon

we're gonna be late
for parent's night.

Yeah, and I can't wait for him
to see his brand new doorbell.

[thud]

Oh, hi, Mr. Warnimont.

I thought I heard someone knock.

How come you didn't just ring
your new doorbell?

I did.

[doorbell ringing]

It needs a little adjusting.

So do you.

Henry, you're late.

Your TV dinner
is getting cold.

If you don't eat it soon,
it's gonna be frozen again.

Punky, I don't have time
for dinner.

I'm very busy.

What about parent's night?

When is it?

Tonight, tonight, tonight!

Oh, Punky, I can't make it.

I only came home because
I forgot my wide angel lens.

You see, the agency moved up

my deadline to tomorrow.

So I'm gonna be working
all night

finishing that magazine ad.

But you have to come,
everybody else's parents

are gonna be there.

I'll come next time, alright?

Henry, if you do this
one favor for me

I'll never ever, ever

ask you for another favor

as long as I live.

I'm sorry, Punky,
but sometimes

my work as to come first.

[knocking on door]

Hey, how come you didn't ring
the doorbell?

I did.

[doorbell ringing]

I'll get it.

Boy, don't you just hate it
when people

ring your doorbell and run?

Well, I gotta run.

What's the matter, Punky?

Something's wrong.

Mrs. Johnson.

Please take Punky
to parent's night with you,

I can't make it.

What do you mean
you can't make it?

I have to work.

Don't worry, I talked
to Punky, she understands.

Have a good time tonight.
Bye-bye.

Well, I guess it's just us

three sophisticated ladies.

- Come on, Punky.
- I can't go.

I'd be the only kid there
without a parent.

Punky, Henry had to work.

I thought you understood.

I understand...

that Margaux's right.

Foster parents don't care
as much as real parents.

[instrumental music]

[camera clicks]

Listen, you flea-bitten mutt,

this account means money to me.

And if you don't
start cooperating...

this dog food
is the last you'll ever see.

My God.

I just threatened
a puppy's life.

I'm going kibble crazy.

[knocking on door]

Thank goodness.
A human being.

Well, close enough.

What are you doing here?

You're supposed to be
at the school with the girls.

Listen, Henry,
I don't have time to argue.

Now, you're coming with me
to that school tonight,

so just get your
ancient butt in gear.

Mrs. Johnson,
what I am doing tonight

is not up for discussion.

Nor is the age
of my gluteus maximus.

If Punky doesn't have
a parent at that school tonight,

your gluteus is gonna be a lot
more maximus. Now, come on.

How many times do I have to tell
you? I can't come tonight.

Ah!

I have to finish this layout.

Am I gonna have to lay you out

to make you realize how much
you're hurtin' Punky?

Can't you see that
I'm doing this for Punky?

If I can't find a way
to increase my income

Punky may have
to start wearing

tennis shoes that match.

Look, I was supposed
to work tonight, too.

It's costing me money
that I can't afford.

But I'll just add more water
to yesterday's soup.

'Cause I know that being
with Cherie tonight

is more important than anything
that money could buy.

Punky knows how much
I care for her.

I don't have to go
to parent's night to prove it.

No, you have to go to parent's
night to save her bacon.

You see, there's a certain

Ms. La-Dee-Dah Margaux Kramer

who's told Punky a vicious lie.

What did Margaux tell her?

That foster parents
don't love their kids

as much as real parents do.

We both know that's not true.

Well, Punky doesn't.

[instrumental music]

[door closing]

[indistinct chatter]

[instrumental music]

Oh! Oh, oh.

Mrs. Morton, I want you
to meet my mom and dad.

Oh! Hi there.

You must be Allen's
mom and dad.

Yes, we are.

And this is our son, Allen.

Hi there.

Oh, Allen.

Mrs. Morton, I just love

the way you've decorated
your room.

Oh, thank you.

You know, I had to special order
the wallpaper

to go with my bed spread.

Uh, no, no.

I was talking about how you
decorated your classroom.

Oh, don't be silly, dear.

There's no wallpaper in here.

Cheer up, Punky. Stuck-up
old Margaux isn't even here.

Oh, yeah? Look.

Hello, everyone!
The Kramers are here!

We can now start.

Hello, Margaux.
These lovely parents

must be your mom and dad.

Welcome to the third grade.

I must tell you, Mrs. Morton,

I'm extremely disappointed

in Margaux's performance
this year.

But Margaux is one of the best
students we have in the class.

Oh, yes.

We had hoped for a better class.

Now, dear, Margaux
has done better

under Mrs. Morton
than any other teacher.

And she certainly seems
to enjoy this class.

Are you contradicting me?

No, dear.

You know how I hate
to be contradicted.

Yes, dear.

Well, it certainly
was nice talking to you.

I'm so glad I came.

Bonsoir,people.

Sorry I'm late.

But we were dining at one

of the finest restaurants
in Chicago.

[sighs]
Chez Antonie.

Nothing's too good
for our Margaux.

- Right, Elroy?
- Nothing, dear.

We feel the same way
about our Allen.

That's why when we got
to McDonalds

and he asked for the largest
order of chicken McNuggets,

we said, "What the hey."

How many times a year
is there a parent's night?

Five, maybe.

Oh, Mrs. Kramer,
I love that outfit.

Did you get that pattern
at K-Marts?

Punky, I don't see you
with anybody

of a parental nature.

You seem to be so alone.

Henry couldn't come.

I figured he wouldn't.

In fact, I would've been
willing to eat

this gold fish if had shown up.

Henry had important work to do.

Margaux: Oh.

Of course, my father said
nothing on Earth could keep him

from coming here tonight.

Well, uh, uh, uh...

Henry would be here too

if he was on Earth,
but he's not.

He's, he's up in space.

What do you mean, "Up in space?"

He's an, he's an...

astronaut.

Punky?

Henry's too old
to be an astronaut.

He's just making history.

He's the first old man in space.

What's he doing?

Wearin' an orthopedic spacesuit?

For your information,

he's up in a space shuttle

being a hero.

Gee, I didn't know
the space shuttle was flying.

It left to airport tonight.
He got the red eye.

Tell me the truth, Cherie.

Is Henry really an astronaut?

I heard him tell
my grandma he wanted

to send her to the moon.

I'm not buying this
for another minute.

Why would
the United States of America

send an old photographer
up in space?

[whispering]
Because... this is

the top secret part.

He's taking photographs

of the mystery planet...

Kiblon.

Hi, kids.
You havin' a good time?

Great time! Let's go home.

Not so fast.

Mrs. Johnson?

What does Mr. Warnimont do
for a living?

Oh, he has a very important job.

Or he'd be here right now.

But he's working in his studio

taking pictures of dog food.

There was no need to lie, Punky.

We all knew that Henry
didn't care enough to come.

After all...

he's just a foster.

[clapping]
Alright, boys and girls,

it's time to introduce
your parents.

So join hands, bring them up

and tell us how you met?

[indistinct chatter]

[instrumental music]

Henry: Punky, what are you doing
in the janitor's closet?

I wanted to be alone.

- How come?
- 'Cause I already was alone.

I know, that's why I decided

to come to parent's night
after all.

You didn't have to.

I'm sorry, I disappointed you.

I didn't realize
how much it meant to you.

Well, you know,
I've been thinking about it.

I should stop caring about
things so much.

I see.

Do you wanna come out here,
so we can talk about this?

No.

Do you mind if I come in?

Free closet.

Oh.

No wonder cleanliness
is next to Godliness.

One could get k*lled in here.

Now...

What's all this talk about
not caring anymore?

Well, whenever I care
about somebody

they always let me down.

First, my father,
then my mother.

Now, you.

It feels bad.
And I'm tired of feeling bad.

Oh.

I understand.

You're saying that you want

to build a wall around yourself.

That way, no one
can get inside to hurt you.

Right.

You know what
the problem with that is?

What?

No one can get inside
to love you.

Do you know
why I fought so hard

to be your foster parent?

No, but I have been wondering.

Pull up a pale
and I'll tell you.

When my wife d*ed,
I was shattered.

I couldn't stand the pain.

I built a wall
around my feelings.

I never let anybody
come close to me.

Then I met you.

You made me feel again.

You were the first one

to break through that wall.

I'm pretty good
at breaking things.

You sure are, Punky.

Because when I hear you say

that you're gonna stop caring

it breaks my heart.

I love you.

I love you too.

I think the dust in here
is making you tear up.

Wanna go outside with me
and get some fresh air?

I'm not too sure
how I met my parents.

I just woke up one day,
they were there.

Hey, everybody!

Look who's here.

This is Henry, my foster dad.

Mr. Warnimont, you are tardy.

I do hope you have
a good excuse.

Certainly, Mrs. Morton.

I had to tear down some walls.

Well, everybody else
used the door.

Hey, Margaux,
I hope you like sushi?

[theme music]

[music continues]