01x11 - Brad Mitzvah

[bunniefuu]

ADULT DEAN:
When you're years old,

anything that makes you
unique makes you stand out,

and that's the last thing
you want to do in junior high.

Can I... touch it?

ADULT DEAN: Gary Coleman
hadn't made the afro part

a common sight yet.

♪♪

While being one of only three
Black kids in my class

was a more obvious difference,

it wasn't so obvious to me
how my friend Brad stood out.

- Hey, Brad!
- ADULT DEAN: Even though

he looked white, people
saw him differently, too.

- There's a penny.
- [Penny clinks]

- You gonna pick it up?
- [Snickering]

ADULT DEAN: At , I didn't understand

the complexity and hate behind the joke.

I just knew they were targeting
Brad because he was Jewish.

And Brad was just doing
what we were all doing...

Trying to survive junior high.

I know what you're looking at,
but a penny's a penny!

[School bell rings]

We should go to the comic-book
store after school tomorrow

and see if they have
the new Daredevilyet.

For sure. Brad, you coming?

Can't. I gotta go to Hebrew School.

I thought you only went
to Hebrew School on Sundays.

I do, but with my Bar Mitzvah coming up,

they're making me go every
single day after school too.

Really? Every day?

Yeah, well, I gotta learn
to sing my Bar Mitzvah parsha

and then write a whole speech about it.

And it's not one of those cool portions

about locusts or boils, either.

It's just a father giving advice
to his sons on his deathbed.

Yeah, and all that's
from the Torah, right?

Stop bragging because
you know one Jewish thing.

Imagine singing something
in a language you barely know

in front of people you barely know.

Sounds brutal.

All this just to turn
and dance the hora, huh?

Fine. Two Jewish things.

It's more than that, though.

It's a whole "becoming a man"
thing or whatever.

Huh. My pops said you become a man

when you start paying
for the electric bills.

My auntie told me I'd become a man

when I learn to please a woman.

ADULT DEAN: Okay, maybe I didn't know

anything about becoming a man,

but I did know one thing...

Don't worry, Brad. I'll help you.

Well, with the speech part.
You know, I got an "A"

on my oral book report for Animal Farm.

Really? You'll help me?

- I got you.
- Thanks!

Now I can focus on the best part
of having a Bar Mitzvah...

Throwing the party!

Wait. There's a party?

- Are we invited?
- Of course!

My mom says I can invite anyone I want.

Can I invite Charlene, too?

ADULT DEAN: Me and Charlene
had been dating for a month,

and we'd already run
out of things to do.

- CHARLENE: Dean? Dean!
- [Television playing]

It would really help me out
if you invite Charlene.

A Bar Mitzvah is the exact kind of party

we need to reignite our passion.

ADULT DEAN: I still really didn't know

what a Bar Mitzvah actually was.

I was hoping maybe
you could invite Kim instead?

Well, maybe if you let
me invite Charlene,

there could be a way
I can get Kim to come, too.

- Deal?
- Deal!

Now get to Hebrew School
and Torah it up!

We have a party to prep for.

♪ Oh, oh, oh ♪

♪ And I know ♪

♪ Ohh ♪

♪ Through the highs
and the lows ♪

You better not be spoiling your dinner.

Oh! Guess what? I got invited
to Brad's Bar Mitzvah.

I get to wear a suit and everything.

Did he invite anyone else
from the neighborhood?

Cory and Charlene are coming.

Well, will ya look at that.

I bet his parents are
inviting you guys, too.

I think the invitation
is just for his friends.

This is a very special thing
that Brad's inviting you to.

A Bar Mitzvah means a lot
for a young Jewish boy,

and it says a lot about Brad
to include everybody.

- Kim, you're invited, too.
- To what?

Brad's Bar Mitzvah party.

[Scoffs] I'd rather be caught dead

than go to a party with
a bunch of little kids.

Plus, Brad stares at me too much.

Actually, Kim, I think you should go.

What part of "I'd rather be caught dead"

- are you not hearing?
- I know I didn't just hear

attitude coming from that mouth.

- No, sir.
- This is an environment

- Dean hasn't been in before.
- So?

So, we know Brad's folks, but we
don't know Brad's folks' folks.

I think it'd be a good idea for Dean

to have someone there to look after him,

someone who cares about him.

[Laughs] Why you asking me, then?

- You're going, and that's final.
- Fine.

But I'm gonna need
some new Bar Mitzvah shoes.

I swear, Lillian, that girl
gonna be the death of me.

Mm. She's gonna be the death of us all.

Mm-hmm. Couldn't agree more.

♪♪

No, you hang up first,
Charlene. No, yo...

Hello? Wow.

Can't believe she hung up first.

- [Receiver clatters]
- So, you've been spending

a lot of time with Charlene lately.

- I guess.
- Is she your girlfriend?

Mom! Dad, do something!

Boy, answer your mother.

Yes, she's my girlfriend.

[Laughs] Look at you.

You got yourself a little girlfriend.

[Laughing] My man!

ADULT DEAN: It's an exciting
thing when your dad's impressed

with you for the first time.

You got any money on you?
Got a girlfriend now.

Gotta have a little money
in your pocket at all times.

But you don't give me an allowance.

That's right. Not going to.

But here's $ for you and your lady.

Well, I think it's sweet
that you have a girlfriend.

Charlene seems like a nice girl.

And she's a preacher's daughter,

so make sure you treat her right.

Be respectful.

Don't be out there
acting all mannish.

All we ever do is talk.

Then what you need those $ for?

[Laughs] Well, just make sure
that she treats you right, too.

- What do you mean?
- Well, I noticed that

you do a lot of things
that she likes to do,

but not a lot of things
that you like to do.

That's not true.

So you like The Lawrence Welk Show?

Yeah. I... like the bubbles.

Mm-hmm. My point is, Dean,

you don't have to change who
you are to make a girl like you.

Well, I changed for you.
You made me get rid of my conk.

And you're welcome for that.

But Dean is perfect the way he is.

Thanks, Mom. I get it.
I won't let her boss me around.

Okay, baby. And I'll make sure

to have that brown suit

pressed and ready for the Bar Mitzvah.

Oh, Charlene wants me to wear black.

Oh, Lord.

♪♪

There's no way they think
Daredevil's dead.

- How much you willing to bet?
- How much ya got?

Uh, excuse me. Dean?

You're still walking me to class, right?

Well, yeah, of course.

Well, I gotta get to social studies.

See ya, Dean! Bye, Charlene.

- See ya, Keisa!
- Mm-hmm.

You know, you've been real quiet

about that Archiecomic I gave you.

Oh, I haven't read it yet.

Yeah, well, maybe if you weren't
so busy reading Keisa's comics

and talking about them all bus ride,

you'd have time to read mine.

Yeah, probably.

You know, I read in Seventeen

that in order to have
a healthy relationship,

each person in the couple
has to get rid

of their friendships
with the opposite sex.

So I won't be friends with any boys...

But you don't have
any friends who are...

... and you'll stop
being friends with Keisa.

Wait, wait, wait, wait. Why?

W-We've been friends for, like, forever.

And if we're gonna be
boyfriend/girlfriend forever,

then we need to have
a healthy relationship,

- right?
- I-I guess.

Good!
Glad we both agree.

But, I mean, does Keisa even count?

She's not really a girl.
She's just my friend.

You don't still like her, do you?

O-Oh, no. No! It's just,
it doesn't seem fair to Keisa.

Well, these are the sort
of mature decisions that

we have to be ready to make
now that we're dating.

ADULT DEAN: If I had
read that Archie comic,

I could have told her

that she was being a total Veronica.

- I guess so.
- Good!

Have a good day at school, Dean.

[Groans]

♪♪

Keisa?

Hey, Dean. Wanna play Horse?

Uh, sure, but I need to talk...

Yes!

Your turn.

[Grunts]

That's "H"!

Bucket!

Charlene said that...

[Sighs]

[Grunts] Dang it!

Wow. You're really off today.

I don't usually b*at you this bad.

That's because I'm trying
to tell you something.

Tuck your elbow in this time.

Nice one!

See? I knew you had it in you.

ADULT DEAN: See? Keisa was the best.

How could I bring myself
to tell her that our friendship

that has meant so much to me
for so long had to end

because I have a girlfriend now?

Charlene said that
we can't be friends anymore.

Okay. If that's what you want.

♪♪

[Sighs]

ADULT DEAN: Well, I hope
she's gonna be okay.

Hey. What's goin' on, fellas?

[Chuckles]

Oh! I forgot the new issue came out!

I just got it yesterday.

I would've taken you with me,
but we're not friends anymore,

so I should probably take my comic book

that everyone is reading
and loving to another table.

- Sorry, guys.
- No! Come on! Don't go!

- No! Please don't go!
- Please!

Guess that means you should
go sit at another table.

For the sake of your
relationship, of course.

CHARLENE: Dean! Settle a bet.

Who's your favorite Pussycat?
And Josie doesn't count.

♪♪

[Sighs]

[Laughter, chatter]

Hey, guys. What's going on?

Dang, Keisa. I can't
believe your brother

just gave you all his
baseball cards like that.

- Yeah.
- If we were still friends,

I could trade you this extra
Willie Mays card I have.

But how would you ever
explain it to your girlfriend?

ADULT DEAN: It quickly
became clear that my decision

to end my friendship with
Keisa had completely backfired.

Anyone want homemade brownies?

- Ohh!
- Oh, yes!

Sorry, Dean.

My mom told me to share
these with my friends.

And since we aren't friends anymore...

ADULT DEAN: The woman was diabolical.

♪♪

Too bad you and Keisa
can't be friends anymore.

She's great! I even invited her
to my Bar Mitzvah.

ADULT DEAN: Brad's breath had the smell

of delicious double-fudge brownies

mixed with the stench of betrayal!

♪♪

LILLIAN: Well... Not too tight, Bill.

The boy nearly passed out
at church last time.

Oh, I thought he caught
the Holy Ghost. [Laughs]

Well, you just make sure you're
on your best behavior, Dean.

You're representing this family, too.

If anything happens that
makes you feel uncomfortable,

your sister will be right there.

And just so you know,
I don't want you talking to me

or looking at me or breathing near me.

I don't even want people
to know we're related.

Um, I'm pretty sure they gonna know.

Just look out for one another.

Why are you so worried?
It's just a Bar Mitzvah.

Brad and his parents may have friends

who aren't as... welcoming as they are.

You know how Granddaddy Clisby
says things about white people?

How would you feel if we invited
Brad over to hang out with him?

Oh.

ADULT DEAN: Now, that I understood.

Well, uh, we should get going.

We don't want to keep Charlene waiting.

Now, when you pick up Charlene
and her father answers the door,

you need to look him
directly in the eye.

He's not gonna like you, son,

but that's just because he's a good dad.

Regardless, you give
him a firm handshake.

Let me see yours.

♪♪

Let's hope her mom answers instead.

♪♪

♪♪

[Sighs]

[Dog barking in distance]

What's going on with you?
Charlene's waiting.

You haven't shut up about
this Bar Mitzvah all week.

Why do you look like
you don't even wanna go now?

Oh. Nothing. It's... It's fine.

Suit yourself.

Okay, fine! I'll tell you.

Charlene said that I can't
be friends with Keisa anymore,

which means I can't be
with the rest of my friends,

and now I'm gonna be stuck

sitting with a bunch of
toothless old people!

Why doesn't Charlene want you
and Keisa being friends?

She said that, in order for us
to have a healthy relationship,

we have to stop being friends
with people of the opposite sex.

[Laughs] That sounds like the [Bleep]

they put in Seventeen
for white people.

Now I'll be stuck sitting
with a bunch of boring girls

Charlene sits with.

Why don't you just get Charlene
to become friends with Keisa?

Then her friends are your friends

and you can all hang out together.

ADULT DEAN: It was in moments
like these that I remembered

that Kim wasn't just my sister;
she was a girl, too.

She actually knew how girls worked!

Yeah. You're right. Thanks, Kim.

You know, I-I didn't really want
to tell you at first, but...

[Radio scans]

♪ But I found out just
a few years later ♪

[Indistinct conversations]

Your mom squeezed my hand so hard!

ADULT DEAN: With all
the Charlene and Keisa drama,

I forgot that I was entering
an actual synagogue

for the first time in my life,

though it kind of reminded me of church.

There was one thing

that I couldn't quite
figure out, though.

Hey.

Where's their Jesus on the cross?

- [Clicks teeth]
- What?

Jesus was a Jewish man, too, you know.

ADULT DEAN: Clearly, I
was still playing catch-up

on the whole Jewish thing.

What I did know was that
I now had a foolproof plan

on how I was gonna be friends
with Keisa again.

Hey! Keisa! So good to see you.

Especially since, you know,
we haven't talked in so long.

Uh, you remember Charlene.

Mm-hmm.

I was just thinking how
you two had so much in common.

W-When did you guys meet?
Kindergarten? Wow.

What a time to forge
lifelong friendships!

[Chuckles] What was that like?

You're bad at this.

[Hushed] Hey, Dean!

You guys continue your soul connection.

I'll be right back. [Chuckles]

Hey! Mazel tov, Brad!

- I'm freaking out!
- What? Why?

What do you mean, why?

What if I forget my Torah portion?

Or what if my voice cracks?

Or what if I drop the Torah?
Those things are like pounds.

I just... I haven't even
finished my speech yet, and...

Oh, God, my parents are gonna k*ll me!

Hey! You said you were gonna help me!

All you've done is ignore me!

ADULT DEAN: I knew I
was letting Brad down,

but this was my one chance

to get Keisa and Charlene
to become best friends,

and it was slipping through my fingers.

Well, I've got my own problems, dang it!

♪♪

[Sighs]

Hey. What are you two talking about?

Having fun? Making friends?

ADULT DEAN: They were not.

Come on. We better sit down.

You know, Dean, maybe you're
just one of those guys

who isn't meant to have a girlfriend.

[Grunts]

[German accent] Here. Let me help you.

You must be Brad's friends.

I am his Aunt Ruth. What are your names?

I'm Kim, and this is Dean, my brother.

Let me show you where to go.

♪♪

What does it mean
to become a Jewish man?

ADULT DEAN: When I saw how nervous

Brad was in that moment,

I knew I had to make things right.

RABBI: ... Joseph is
the only son of Jacob who's...

- I gotta go talk to Brad.
- Unh-unh.

There's no way I'm letting you
make a scene and embarrass...

Excuse me.

And there he goes.

ADULT DEAN: And if it meant
embarrassing myself down here

to keep Brad from
embarrassing himself up there,

then that's a price
I was willing to pay.

- WOMAN: Ow!
- Oh, ooh.

That was an open-toed shoe.
I'm sorry.

Sorry again.

RABBI: And the one thing we can do...

Psst! Hey, Brad. Over here.

What are you doing?
You can't be up here.

Well, I remembered
something that my dad said

about getting stage
fright before a big show.

Just picture everybody's
in their underwear.

Once they all look crazy,
you won't feel so scared.

Just be yourself, man.

That's all everyone here
wants you to be.

RABBI: And now it's time
for our Bar Mitzvah boy.

[Brad exhales sharply]

♪♪

♪♪

For my Bar Mitzvah,
I studied a Rabbinic text

that explains that every person
is given three names.

The first is the name
given to you by your parents.

For me, that was Baruch, my Hebrew name.

The second is the name
given to you by your friends.

For me, that was Brad.

But the third is the
most important name.

It's the name you give yourself.

Now, it's that third one I was stuck on.

I had to really think about who I was,

separate from who people wanted me to be

or who people were forcing me to be.

Being Jewish in Montgomery means
feeling different all the time.

I spent a lot of that time...

feeling embarrassed about being Jewish.

But I don't want to
feel that way anymore.

So from now on, I'm
not just gonna stand by

while people make fun of me
or try to make me feel bad.

No, instead, I'm gonna stand up
for myself, for my people,

and for what I believe is right.

Now, I may I not know
what my third name is yet,

but I do know who I am.

A proud Jew from Alabama.

[Laughter]

Thank you, and Shabbat Shalom!

[Applause, crowd shouting
"Shabbat Shalom!"]

ADULT DEAN: It was in that moment

that I started seeing
Brad in a new light.

Up until that point,
I could name all the things

that made us different,
but after Brad's speech,

it was clear we had way more in common

- than I'd ever realized.
- L'chaim!

ADULT DEAN: And it
was those similarities

that made us that much closer

and our friendship that much stronger,

even to this day.

♪♪

Brad later confided in me
that he did take my advice

and pictured everyone
in their underwear.

Unfortunately, that also
included my sister.

♪♪

Poor Brad.

He needed a moment to
compose himself afterwards.

No. No, no.

[Chuckles nervously]

[Swing music playing]

[Indistinct conversations]

ADULT DEAN: Now that I'd
made things right with Brad,

I needed to stand up for myself,

like I should've done
when Charlene made me watch

that stupid Lawrence Welk Show

or read that dumb Archie comic,

or when she said, "Tab
tastes just like Coke."

No, Charlene, it doesn't.

♪♪

Charlene, me and Keisa are best friends,

and I don't want that to end,

so if you have a problem with that,

then that's your problem, not mine.

How could you be so mean, Dean?

And on the night before
our -day anniversary.

Well, this is gonna be
an awkward ride home.

[All chuckle]

Dean.

I couldn't help but notice, uh,

a little situation here, buddy.

Now that I'm a man,

can I give you a little piece of advice?

One day, when you're older,
you'll look back

on all these problems
that seem so big right...

- Shut up, Brad!
- ADULT DEAN: Shut up, Brad!

♪♪

I know what I said to
Charlene was harsh,

but I have to admit,
it felt good to finally

take control of things
and stand up for myself.

Now I just had one thing left to do.

[Gasps] Ooh, Keisa!
I was just looking...

Save it, Dean. Charlene told me
how cruel you were to her.

Wait. I-I-I was only
trying to just be...

Look. I need to be
Charlene's friend right now.

[Sniffles]

- What?
- It's like when you stopped

being friends with me because
Charlene asked you to.

Well, Charlene needs me right now.

And I can't be friends with you
while she hates you.

But you understand that. Right, Dean?

ADULT DEAN: Clearly, Keisa
wasn't finished punishing me

for what I'd done to her earlier.

Turns out all -year-old girls need

in order to become lifelong
friends is a common enemy,

and that enemy was me.

- [Rhythmic clapping]
- Hey! Whoa!

["Hava Nagila" plays]

♪♪

ADULT DEAN: Standing up for
myself resulted in me losing

both my girlfriend and my best friend.

Luckily, I was able to
lean into the part of Judaism

that suited me in that moment...

The suffering part.

Hmm. Maybe I had gained

a better understanding
of Brad's cultural history.

But watching Brad
get lifted up on that chair,

I realized that standing up for yourself

and owning who you are

can actually elevate
you in the long run.

'Cause even though
I had lost so much that day,

I gained something else... Self-respect.

And if that doesn't make you a man,

I don't know what does.

♪♪