05x09 - Fonzie, Rock Entrepreneur: Part 2

Episode transcripts for the TV show "Happy Days". Aired: January 15, 1974 – July 19, 1984.*
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Set during the 1950's, the series revolves around teenager Richie and his family who owns a hardware store and Fonzie, who would eventually become Richie's best friend.
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05x09 - Fonzie, Rock Entrepreneur: Part 2

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♪ Sunday, Monday, happy days ♪

♪ Tuesday, Wednesday,
happy days ♪

♪ Thursday, Friday, happy days ♪

♪ The weekend comes,
my cycle hums ♪

♪ Ready to race to you ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

- ♪ Happy and free ♪
- ♪ Oh, happy days

♪ These days are ours ♪

- I Share them with me I
- S Oh, baby a'


♪ Good-bye, gray sky,
hello, blue ♪

♪ There's nothing can hold me
when I hold you ♪

♪ It feels so right
it can't be wrong ♪

♪ Rocking and rolling
all week long ♪

(organ solo plays
over rhythmic handclaps)

♪ Sunday, Monday, happy days ♪

♪ Tuesday, Wednesday,
happy days ♪

♪ Thursday, Friday, happy days ♪

♪ Saturday, what a day ♪

♪ Groovin' all week with you ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

- ♪ Share them with me ♪
- ♪ Oh, happy days

♪ These days are ours ♪

- I Happy and free I
- S Oh, baby a'


♪ These happy days
are yours and mine ♪

♪ These happy days are yours ♪

♪ And mine, Happy Days!

LEATHER:
♪ Since my baby left me ♪

♪ I found a new place to dwell ♪

♪ Just take a walk down
Lonely Street ♪

♪ And Heartbreak Hotel,
now, baby ♪

♪ You leave me so lonely, baby ♪

♪ Ooh, wah, ooh ♪

- ♪ You leave me so lonely ♪
- ♪ Wah, ooh... ♪

♪ You leave me so lonely
I could die ♪

♪ Well, you leave me so lonely
I could die. ♪

(whoops)

(applause and cheering)

RICHIE:
Leather Tuscadero!

(whooping, cheering,
applause, whistling)

Folks, folks, now,
as you're driving home tonight,

I want you
to keep one thing in mind:

Stay out of the trees.

Thank you. Good night.

Thank you very much.

San Francisco.

I can't believe it.

I am so excited.

Joanie, you better forget
about going to San Francisco.

Mom and Dad just aren't going
to let you go, because...

look, no matter how old you are,

you're still their little baby,
you understand?

Yeah, I know, I know.

Hey, what's the frown
on the face of a rising star?

It's Mom and Dad.

They probably won't let me go
to San Francisco.

Okay, the best way
to go on this tour is

to get your
family's blessing, right?

Right.

Well, she's never going
to get my parents' blessing.

Have you gone wacko, Fonz?

Oh... (laughs)

No, you-you don't go wacko.

Good idea.

What's your plan?

My plan is
that you invite your parents

right here to Arnold's,

so they can witness
how fabamundo you are.

Right.

And once
they see how good I am,

then I tell 'em
about San Francisco.

What can they say?

What can they say?
"Go to your room!"

Then they're gonna nail
the door shut.

Here to introduce
Leather Tuscadero


on her last night at Arnold's

is Arthur Fonzarelli!

(applause)

All right, listen, can I have
your attention, please, huh?

Hey, give me...
give me a drum roll.

Give me a drum roll.

(drum roll, cymbal crash)

I love that. (chuckles)

All right, listen,
uh, last night,

something very thrilling
happened here,

and everybody is talking
about it.

I didn't tell anybody, Fonz!

I am not talking
about you and me, Daphne.

Sit down.

I am talking
about Leather and the Suedes.

Yeah, last night,
they opened here,

and they are the talk
of the town.

And it is my distinct pleasure
to introduce once again

that group that I launched on
their merry career to stardom,

Leather and the Suedes.

(applause and cheering)

(drum roll)

Well, this is our last night
here at Arnold's.

We're moving on
to bigger things.

(applause)

Okay, now,
we're gonna start this show

with a really great rocker,
"Devil Gate Drive."

(applause)

Y'all want to go down
to Devil Gate Drive?

- ALL: Yeah!
- Well, come on!

(drums play intro)

BOTH:
Welcome to Arnold's.

One, two...

a-one, two, three!

-(piano plays flourish)
- Yeah!

-(piano repeats flourish)
- Yeah!

(band plays intro)

♪ Well, at the age of five
they can do their jive ♪

♪ Down in Devil Gate Drive ♪

♪ Wah-ooh I

♪ And at the age of six
they're gonna get their kicks ♪

♪ Down in Devil Gate Drive ♪

♪ Wah-ooh, wah-ooh I

- ♪ Your mama don't know ♪
- ♪ Bop-bop ♪

- ♪ Where your sister done go ♪
- ♪ Ah-ooh, bop-bop... ♪

- I She gone down to the drive I
- S Ah-ooh, bop-bop a'


- ♪ It's a dollar a show ♪
- ♪ Ah-ooh, bop-bop... ♪


- I Let her move on up I
- S Ah-ooh, bop-bop a'


♪ Let her come, let her go,
she can jive ♪

♪ Ah-ooh, bop-bop, ah-ooh I

♪ Down in Devil Gate Drive ♪

♪ Ah-ooh, bop-bop I

- ♪ So, come alive! ♪
- Yeah!

- ♪ Come alive! ♪
- Yeah!

♪ Down in Devil Gate Drive ♪

- ♪ So, come alive! ♪
- Yeah...!

- ♪ Come alive! ♪
- Yeah!

♪ Down in Devil Gate,
down in Devil Gate ♪

♪ Down in Devil Gate Drive ♪

♪ Down in Devil Gate,
down in Devil Gate ♪

♪ Down in Devil Gate Drive ♪

♪ Ma, ma, ma, ma, ma,
ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma ♪

Oh!

Yeah!

(instrumental interlude,
featuring piano)

(rhythmic clapping)

- ♪ Well, your mama don't know ♪
- ♪ Ooh, bop-bop ♪

- ♪ Where your sister done go ♪
- ♪ Ah-ooh, bop-bop... ♪

- ♪ She done to the drive ♪
- ♪ Ah-ooh, bop-bop ♪

- ♪ It's a dollar a show ♪
- ♪ Ah-ooh, bop-bop... ♪


- I Let her move on up I
- S Ah-ooh, bop-bop a'


- ♪ Let her come, let her go ♪
- ♪ Ah-ooh, bop-bop... ♪

- ♪ She can jive ♪
- ♪ Ah-ooh ♪

♪ Down at Devil Gate Drive ♪

♪ Ah-ooh, bop-bop I

- ♪ So, come alive! ♪
- Yeah...!

- ♪ Come alive! ♪
- Yeah!

- ♪ Down in Devil Gate Drive ♪
-(rhythmic clapping)

- ♪ So, come alive! ♪
- Yeah...!

- ♪ Come alive! ♪
- Yeah!

♪ Down in Devil Gate,
down in Devil Gate ♪

♪ Down in Devil Gate Drive! ♪

All right, everybody.

I want you to do it
one more time for Leather.

Are you ready now?

Yeah!

A one, two, a one, two, three!

- ♪ Come alive! ♪
- Yeah!

- ♪ Come alive! ♪ -Yeah!

- Yeah! -CROWD: Yeah!
- Yeah! -CROWD: Yeah!

- Yeah!
- CROWD: Yeah!

(song ends,
applause and cheering)

(whooping and chatter)

Leather will be out
in a minute.

BOY:
Oh!

Oh, how did you like it?
♪ Wah-ooh, Wop, Wop... ♪

- HOWARD: Ah...
- Wasn't that terrific, Dad?

- Yeah. -Oh, dear,
I-l liked every number.

- JOANIE: Oh.
- You were so good!

Aw, you were better than good.

You were fan... (kisses)
tastic!

- Oh.
- Oh, we're so proud of you!

Yeah, and Arnold's
can be just the start.

Sure, they could play dances,
wedding receptions.

Oh, Howard, they could play
at the annual

Leopard Lodge Poo Pah Doo Dah.

- Oh!
- Leather, Leather, over here.

-(indistinct chatter)
- I'll be right back.

- Oh...! -Leather, Leather,
meet my mom and dad.

Mom and Dad, this is Leather.

- Hi, folks. -HOWARD: Hello.

- How you doing?
- Hello, Leather.

Oh, leather!
I get it.

You wear leather outfits.

Well, why else do you think

they would call her Leather,
sweetheart?

I was afraid to ask.

You were just wonderful.

We were just discussing
how great you all sang.

Oh, thanks a lot.

We wouldn't have
a group without Joanie.

- Oh...
- You'll be so successful.

Do you have a wedding
next weekend?

- I love weddings.
- LEATHER: Oh.

No, no weddings.

This is big stuff.
It's all happening so fast.

We have a tour with Fabian.

First, San Francisco,
L.A., Dallas...

Oh, it's too bad
Joanie will miss it.

Oh, she's not gonna miss it.

- She's one of us now.
- Yeah.

(Joanie laughs anxiously)

She is also one of us.

And the only place
Joanie is going is home to bed.

Now you get your coat,

and we'll wait
for you out in the car.

Come on, Marion.

Dear, try to hurry.

Your father gets mad
if he has to wait.

(clears her throat)

♪ Ah-bop! ♪

HOWARD:
Marion!

You see? See?

You know,
he-he's just overreacting.

I'm going home and pack.

Well, it's up to you, but...

your mother and your father--
are you really sure?

Oh, sure, I'm sure.
I'm positive.

I guess.

MARION: Young lady,
you're going to finish school,

and then you can plan your life.

Look, sweetheart, Joanie,

why can't you be
like Richie, huh?

I mean, he could have had
a movie career,

and he stayed in school.

Dad, please don't use me
as an example. I'm neutral.

Aw, this is ridiculous!

I don't even know
why we're discussing it.

Well, because open debate

is one of civilization's
greatest assets.

Now-now, the Greeks,
for example--

they started it
with the open forum,

and-and they'd discuss...

You know, sometimes I'm sorry
I ever sent you to college!

Oh, I had such
a nice wedding planned.

We were going
to rent the Orchid Room, but...

What are you talking
about weddings for?

She hasn't even gone
to college yet.

Stop it!
Everyone, just stop it

with the Orchid Room
and the wedding and school!

Everybody is
living my life but me.

Are you ever gonna let me plan
my own life?

(door closes)

I'm not trying to plan her life.

Just her adolescence.

Well, that's dumb.

What do you want to do that for?

No, no, wait, wait,
listen, don't-don't hang up!

(Click)

What'd you hang up for?

I told you not to hang up!

Well, who was that, dear?

It was Joanie, and-and she's...

Well, she must have gotten up
with the birds.

Well, uh, she did...

Listen, do you think I was
too hard on her last night?

- Dad, I... -No, she probably had
something important to do.

She did.
She's running away from home.

AL:
Don't worry.


She's gonna turn up.

I looked everywhere for her.

Bus station, I-l checked the
train station, even the airport.

Went to the Pizza Bowl.

Joanie doesn't go
to the Pizza Bowl.

Yeah, I know,
but I was starving.

Yeah.

Al, Al, if you were ,
where would you run away to?

Rome.

Oh. Rome?

Yeah. I've always wanted
to see St. Peter's Square.

Oh.

I'd be standing there.

The Pope would come out
on the balcony.

- I'd give him a little wave.
- Yeah.

He'd wave back.

- But I...
- Al, Al, somehow I don't think

Joanie is waving at the Pope.

All right, I'm going out
and look for her some more.

- Okay.
- Now, look, don't be sad.

You want to know sad?

Did I ever tell you
about Rosa Colletti?

- Oh, yeah, Al, you did.
- Oh.

Uh, say, maybe you could find
Joanie in the all-night movie.

- That's a good idea.
- Yeah.

I hope it's one
of those -D movies.

She'll never recognize me
in those glasses.

Oh, right, right.
Thanks, Al.

Okay.

- Oh, hi. -RALPH: Hi, Al.
- POTSIE: Hey, Al.

Ralph, Potsie,
what took guys so long?

All right, all right, forget it.
Just give me the scoop.

Was she at the Piccalo's?

They haven't seen her
all day, Rich.

Boy, those Piccalo sisters
are one lusty bunch.

The minute I walked in the door,

there were lips
all over my face.

The big sister, Olive, got me.

It was terrible!

What are you
talking about, Pots?

I had to pull you away from her.

I couldn't break the suction.

How can you guys talk
about the Piccalos

when my sister is out
on the streets, who knows where?

RICHIE:
Did you find Joanie?


Were you able to locate her?

FONZIE:
No, I didn't find her.


But you just
calm yourself, all right?

We're not dealing with
a nutso kid, it's your sister.

It's my sister who ran away.

I think that's kind of nutso.

Hey, guys, anything new?

No, no, not a word.

I don't know where she is. I...

I hate to even try and guess.

Hey, you're really busted up
about this, huh?

Yeah, I'm busted up!

It's my kid sister!

And it's not just me,
it's my parents.

Dad is going crazy.

Mom's been crying all day.

Leather, did she say
anything at all to you?

Well, why would she
say anything to me?

Yeah, right.

I don't know where
she is, she's probably...

probably cold,
probably starving to death.

Leather, how is she eating?

Well, she's not starving,
she just had...

Where is she?

Okay.

She's in my hotel room.

Your ho...

She's in her...

Are you crazy?

Now, Rich...

I'll handle this.

Are you crazy?

She's in your hotel room.

You know, if you were a guy,

I'd rattle your teeth
until they were frazzled.

All right Fonz, let's just go
find her, all right?

Hold it, hold it.

Look, if you drag her back home
she's only gonna run away again.

I know runaways, I've been
with them for three years.

Yeah, she's got
a good point there, Rich.

Good point? Good point?
I don't need good points.

I gotta talk to Joanie.

- I'll talk to her.
- What are you gonna tell her?

- I don't know yet.
- Well, that's not good enough.

Okay.

I'll bring her back here.

That's good enough.

Finally, we got something
that's good enough...

All right, all right,
calm yourself.

Unplug yourself, will you, Rich?

Come on. Come on.

Well, here she is.

I can't guarantee she'll stay.

Well, you... you got her here,
and that's the important thing.

She's a good kid, I like her.

Well, I'll see you, Joanie.

Yeah, see you.

Hey, don't worry.

You're gonna make it someday.

See you, Leather, thanks.

Hey, Leather, hold it.

I know you're gonna be
terrifioso on the road.

(slaps thigh twice)

Thanks, Fonz.

Thanks, Milwaukee.

Joanie... I want to
have a talk with you.

I'm not gonna listen to you,
lam big enough to be on my own.


Oh, yeah, you're big enough
to be on your own,

I'm gonna tell you something,
while you were out on your own,

- I was in here just sweating...
- All right, Rich,

Richard, hold it, hold it.

Now...

I never snowed you before,
I ain't going to snow you now.

Do you want to listen? 'Cause
I don't want to waste my time.

Oh, it'll waste my time,
but I'll listen.

Heyyy.

I hear a lot
of jabbering about, uh,

how you're all grown up
and everything, you know?

Well you're not.

Not yet.

You're going on .

Well, a person
has to grow up sometime.

Oh, you hear that Fonz?

A person's got to grow up
sometime.

(mocking): A person's
got to grow up sometime.

Hey, Richie, Richie,
Richie, Richie, Richie...

Richie...

That's right, a person's
gotta grow up sometime,

but not all in one day,
don't rush it.

Joanie, don't make
the same mistake I made.

You made a mistake?

The mistake I made
was not my fault.

Joanie, I was never
years old.

I grew up like that.

I went from six years old
to years old.

Well, you did all right.

That's right, I did all right,

but I missed out on a on lot
of good stuff along the way.

I went from hugging
my teddy bear

to hugging the Hooper triplets.

What I'm talking about
here is memories.

Now, this might sound
a little corny.

- I don't want any wisecracks.
- All right.

One day you're gonna
look back on your life

and you're gonna
remember great things.

See, the one thing that
nobody can take away from you

is your memory.

Teenage memories-- yeah,

you got homecoming dances,

you got uh, uh, uh, hay rides.

You got dates...

uh, skipping around maypoles.

Skipping around maypoles?

We wouldn't do that,

but it's something
that Joanie would like.

But I don't like being .

It's weird, you know...

I feel grown-up, but nobody
treats me like one.

It hurts.

Yeah.

That's what they
call growing pains.

Every age got growing pains.

That's the way of the world.

But there's a lot of terrific
stuff mixed in there, too.

Now, all I'm telling you
is don't rush it.

You got to live life
one moment at a time.

Because once...
once time goes by,

it never comes back again.

Joanie, just think about it.

You're giving up your one sh*t
at being years old.

And I want to tell you something
I never told nobody before.

I would have loved
to have your home

and your family.

And, Shortcake,

I would have loved
to have been .

My talk's over.

It's up to you.

Carry on, Red.

Good night.

Good luck.

Are you crazy, you little twerp?

Don't "little twerp" me.

You know what Leather did?

She fired me.

She said she didn't want
to break up any families.

Oh... well, that... that's
tough, but believe me,

it's for your own good.

Aw, who says?

Well, didn't you hear
what Fonzie said?

Didn't that make
any sense to you?

Yeah, but that's
not why I'm running.

Wha... Are you telling me
you're gonna run again?

Yeah, I'll get another job,

and you want to know
why I'm leaving?

- Yes, I do.
- You really want to know?

- I said I did.
- You're the reason.

Me?

Yeah.

When I was in the hotel room,
I had a lot of time to think.

And I figured out you're the
real reason I'm running, Rich.

Me?

Yeah, you.

Rich...

do you know hard it is
being your kid sister?

Oh, oh, look,

I yelled at you, I-I'm sorry,
that was really dumb,

but that's no reason
for you to run away now...

No, it's not the yelling.

It's growing up after you.

I'm not Joanie.

I'm always Richie's sister.

Like in school--

you always got good marks,

and they wonder why
Richie's sister doesn't.

And they say how
well-behaved you are.

And wonder why
Richie's sister isn't.

It's always
"Richie's sister" this

and "Richie's sister" that--
I want to be Joanie.

Well, what do you want me to do,
rob a bank or something?

No... then I'll be
the bank robber's sister.

Joanie... I'm your brother.

And you're not gonna
be able to change that.

Yeah, I know.

I've been told.

times a day.

Well, don't listen to 'em!
They're dumb.

But I still want
to be Joanie Cunningham.

Well, you are Joanie.

You're a fun person.

Your grades aren't
that bad, and, and, and...

y-you do, uh,
excellent cartwheels.

And I'm cute.

And you're a little conceited,

but that's normal.

Joanie...

you're you.

And in time, people
are gonna know that.

You think I should go home?

Well, see, I-l don't
think you ever...

wanted to leave
in the first place.

Yes, I...

Well, no.

Oh, I don't know.

Look, look, Joanie,
you had some problems.

Now, I wasn't even
aware of them.

But I am now, and I'm
gonna try and help you.

You gonna fail some courses?

Well, uh, no, I'll have
to find another way,

but I'm still gonna help you.

And-and other people
will help you, too.

Then you think I should go home?

Yes. Not for me.

Not even for Mom and Dad.

But because you want to.

You can't solve your problems
by running away from life.

And I want you to think about
what Fonzie said, because, uh,

you don't see too many
-year-old people

skipping around the maypole.

Yeah, you're right.

You know...

this year is the sock hop.

And, uh, and John Collins,
he asked me to the junior prom.

- Oh? (chuckles)
- And I'm a cheerleader

with the pom-poms
out on the field.

And John Collins,
he is so cute.

He has blond hair and blue eyes,

and he's such a hunk.
I mean...

Yeah...

it-it is fun being .

Yeah, it is.

I really liked it.

Of course, you're gonna be much
better at being than I was.

Yeah. (laughs)

Good-bye, fame.

Hello, boring little room.

(laughs)

- That's the way to talk.
- Yeah.

- Okay, I'm gonna go get my coat,
-all right? -Yeah.

(fading 'my.
I Wah-ooh... a'


♪ And at the age of six,
they're gonna get their kicks ♪

♪ Down in Devil Gate Drive ♪

♪ Wah-ooh... I

♪ Your mama don't know
where your sister done go ♪

♪ She's gone down to the drive,
she's the star of the show ♪

♪ Let her move on up ♪

♪ Let her come, let her go,
she can jive ♪

(fading out):
♪ Down in Devil Gate Drive... ♪

♪ Wah-ooh, bop-bop... I

Joanie?

Ready to °'?

Yeah.

I'm ready.

Well, let's go.

(calling):
Al? Alfred?

I'm gonna turn
the lights out, okay?

AL (calls):
Who's that?

Joanie's brother.

II

II

Where are they?

It's been over a half hour
since Richie called.

I know why she ran away.

It's me.

I'm always correcting her.

I want a perfect daughter.

I must be a lunatic.

Aw, sweetheart,
it's not your fault, it's mine.

I'm the one that's
always yelling at her.

-"Go to your room,
go to your room." -Oh...

Where have you been?

How could you do
such a stupid thing!

You had your poor father
worried sick!

Me?! What about you?

Look at your poor mother!

She hasn't slept,
she hasn't eaten.

RICHIE: Well, they're glad
you're home, Sis.

Yeah, I can see that.

Have you eaten?

Yes, Mom.

Are you all right?

I'm fine, Dad.

- Oh, don't you ever go away
like that, darling. -Joanie...

We're so glad you're home.

And, dear...

now, if you ever have a problem,
don't run away.

- Talk to us.
- Mm-hmm.

- Okay?
- Yeah.

- There is just one thing.
- What? What, dear? What?

Do you think I could have
a phone in my room?

No.

(laughs):
Boy, that was a short talk.

Yeah.

(Howard kisses Joanie)

♪ These happy days
are yours and mine ♪

♪ These happy days are
yours and mine, Happy Days! ♪

♪ Good-bye, gray sky,
hello, blue ♪

♪ There's nothing can hold me
when I hold you ♪

♪ It feels so right,
it can't be wrong ♪

♪ Rockin' and rollin'
all week long ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

- ♪ Happy and free ♪
- ♪ Oh, happy days

♪ These days are ours ♪

- I Share them with me I
- S Oh, baby a'


♪ These happy days
are yours and mine ♪

♪ These happy days are
yours and mine, Happy Days! ♪
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