03x16 - When in Rome...

Episode transcripts for the TV show "Xena: Warrior Princess". Aired: September 1995 to June 2001.*
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Xena helps people free themselves against injustices.
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03x16 - When in Rome...

Post by bunniefuu »

Regroup!
Get reinforcements!

Get up!

Fall back!

They're regrouping.

Vercinix, the Romans have att*cked
the pass. We can hold them, but--

- How long?
- Not long.

Long enough to get
everyone out, most everyone.

Clear the village. Take to the
northern hills and regroup!

The Gauls will not
be defeated!

No!

Mendala, you go with them.

- But--
- They need you.

Someone has to lead,
and someone has to stay here.

Now go.

Get our children to safety.

I love you.

Come on. We'll wait for
your father in the hills.

Let's go.

Shields!

Gauls!

For the glory of Rome!

att*ck!

He got Vercinix!

Step aside!

Take off the net!

It's Caesar!

So, the legend is lacking.

Not quite the god the stories
made you out to be.

Mortals can be conquered, Caesar,

but you'll never conquer Gaul!

- My people--
- Your people mean nothing to me.

I only want you, Vercinix.

Because with you,

I'm going to secure an empire.

Syria will bring
these Roman dogs to heel,

one dog at a time!

Him!

- Xena!
- Hello, Crassus!

How's your backside, huh?

Xena, the captain said
he'd hold the boat,

but he won't hold it for long.

Suits me. One of those armies will
be coming up this trail any minute.

All right. Come on!

Oh, Xena. I'm reluctant
to thank you for saving me.

After all, last time I saw you,
you swore you'd k*ll me on sight.

That was before
you became useful.

Crassus, member of the
triumvirate of Imperial Rome,

useful to Xena?

I'm gonna trade you
for Vercinix.

Vercinix--
He was captured by Caesar.

You're going up against Caesar.

I have to admit. I wouldn't want
to miss this for the world.

Oh, I guarantee.

You're gonna get
a front-row seat.

In a time of ancient gods...

...warlords...

...and kings...

A land in turmoil
cried out for a hero...


She was Xena...

a mighty princess,
forged in the heat of battle...


...The power...

...The passion...

...The danger...

Her courage will
change the world...


[font color="#d "]When In Rome...[/font]

We'll be pulling
into port soon.

Here. Hope you like gruel.

I know it's not what the Roman
elite are used to eating, but--

You hate me too.
Why?

You're a friend of Caesar's.

I'm not his friend.

I'm a convenience,
just as he is to me,

as Pompey is.

The triumvirate is not
an easy alliance.

Triumvirate? What is that?

Three w*rlord rulers
instead of one.

Warlords-- far from it.
It's politics.

- It's all about--
- Power, nothing more.

Caesar, Pompey and Crassus share
control of Rome and its provinces.

Each serves to balance the other.

They hate each other,

but they can't live
without each other.

Yes, Xena, it is about power.

The appearance of it,

the possession of it,
the wielding of it.

You're quite familiar
with that, aren't you?

The imperial ring of Rome.

And a thief.
I'm impressed.

I need to prove to Caesar
that I have you.

That way I can make
the deal for Vercinix.

Do you think Caesar would release
a man with the reputation of Vercinix?

His capture is a source of
power, as will be his execution.

Not anymore.

Caesar needs you.

He's cultivated quite a following
at home, but at a cost.

You still have an army in
the field, and he needs that.

This isn't about Vercinix, is it?

Go on. Tell us.

Assassination--

Caesar's blood on your blade.

This is your way
of getting to him.

- You're wrong.
- Am I?

Have you ever seen
Xena around him?

Her judgment gets
a little impaired,

and others suffer.

Well, I'm over that.

Take him below,
only be careful.

He's smart.

I want control of the aqueduct!

Out of the question, Pompey.
You ask too much.

Do I?
You've got no choice.

With Crassus dead,
I can take what I want.

Do, and you'll
get a civil w*r.

The people are
with me, Pompey.

It's spectacle.

That's what they want,
that's what I give them.

Oh, yes, the people.

An army of citizens up against
the hardened legions

of Pompey the Magnus.

Oh, what a battle that'd be.

Very well.
You may have your aqueduct.

But there's a vote
coming up in the Senate.

I need your support.

Caesar!

There's someone
here to see you.

To be honest, sir,
we couldn't keep her out.

- She's unarmed, but she--
- She?

Xena--
This is impossible.

How can you--
This is Rome. You can't--

You--

There's a sentence in there
just dyin' to get out.

Sorry about your soldiers.
We were playing tag in the forum,

and I gotta tell you,
they don't lose well.

This is Xena?

Yes. Uh--

An old friend--
enemy, friend.

I forget where we left off.

We weren't on speaking terms.

Pompey, if you'll
excuse us, please.

I don't think so.

Besides, if this concerns Rome,
it concerns me.

And who are you?

Pompey the Magnus.

- "Magnus"?
- Short for magnificent.

A deserved title as Caesar knows.
And you had something to tell us.

Oh. Crassus.

Crassus is dead.
The Parthians.

Crassus has an army.
He's got money. And I got him.

I see.

And you're just going to
hand him over to me?

As soon as you
give me Vercinix.

Vercinix?

That's no small request.

His capture means
a lot to my people.

I'll send over the finger
that this belongs on tomorrow.

And after that,
I'll be more creative.

How do I know Crassus
hasn't been k*lled?

I'll take you to him.

How do I know I won't be k*lled?

I'll stay here in your place.

She won't hurt you
as long as they have me.

Caesar.
I knew you'd come.

Really?
I don't know why I bothered.

I thought you were
a capable ally,

a good balance
against Pompey.

But look at you--

captured and chained by a woman
that I captured and chained.

- I don't know.
- Don't even go there.

You need me.
We both know it.

Now make the trade,
and let's get out of here.

You're right.
Pompey has become a little

difficult since
word of your death.

Unfortunately, the trade
can't happen immediately.

I've already planned a little
party for this evening,

to show off Vercinix.

I'd like you
to accompany me,

without your weapons,
of course.

Whatever it takes.

Let's just get this
over with.

Divide and conquer, Crassus.

Her friend is the key.

I'll come back to the boat
when I'm done scouting around.

When this starts to move,
it's gonna move fast.

And that's assuming that
I can get Crassus into the cell?

You have to do it. Caesar is not
going through with this trade.

That's why we have to
make the switch with Vercinix.

By the time he
discovers that it's

Crassus in the cell,
it'll be too late.

And that's the plan?
Right? The whole plan?

What are you getting at?

Look, I know you
want Vercinix out.

But I want to make sure
there's not another

part of this plan that
you're not telling me.

- You know, like--
- Like assassinating Caesar.

Yeah, like that.

Gabrielle, this is no time for
you to have a crisis of faith.

You have got to trust me.

I am not going to
give in to that.

If this works out, the only
one in danger is Crassus.

Crassus?

You don't mean he might
be k*lled, do you?

That's up to Caesar.

Crassus is not my concern.
Freeing Vercinix is.

Yeah, but if Caesar kills
Crassus, and I put him there--

Xena-- I cannot send
a man to his death.

A man-- Crassus stopped being
a man a long time ago.

The village of Gardenis
was his crowning achievement.

It surrendered to him
without a fight.

He then crucified over men, women
and children along the Appian Way.

It doesn't matter. Caesar's
the one who makes the decision.

Crassus is valuable to him.

Good luck.

Brutus, you were with Caesar
when he met Xena.

- Is she to be trusted?
- No.

Except in her hatred
of Caesar.

I was going to present
Vercinix first, but...

I didn't want anything
spoiling your entrance.

Why bring him in at all
when you're going to free him?

I'll handle that.

Vercinix has become quite
an issue with my people.

He defeated four Roman legions
before I brought him to heel.

Excuse me.

So, why do they call you
the "Warrior Princess"?

Because "Caesar" was taken.

I like you.

Don't. I'm not
a likeable person.

Neither am I.

But even common enemies
can make friends overnight.

Common enemies?

Anyone in particular?

Don't assume all of
Rome loves Caesar.

These people are impressed
with his victory over Vercinix.

But there are those that
wouldn't cry over Caesar's death.

Citizens of Rome,
I present to you...

the prize that has eluded all,

all except the great Julius Caesar!

The barbarian, Vercinix.

Come on, you dog.

Descended from a line
of great warriors,

master of Gaul,
a legend like no other.

I give to you
Vercinix the Magnus.

When'd she say she'd be back?

When she's ready to come back.

Does she often leave you
in the dark with her plans?

No.

But she has done it, hasn't she?

I understand. You forget,
I'm a warrior too.

Many times if I'd told my soldiers
my plans, I would've had a mutiny.

Why is that?

Do your soldiers have something
against murdering innocent people?

Innocent? There are no
innocents on a b*ttlefield.

What about the people of Gardenis?

That was regrettable.

I was away to the north, chasing
bandits when it happened.

The soldiers responsible
were crucified.

Who knows? Maybe Xena
really believes those stories.

- I trust Xena.
- Well, I can't.

It's my life on the line.

You're not gonna die.
Caesar won't let that happen.

No. We'll get Vercinix,

and everyone will be happy.

I hope you're right.

Back to your cage, barbarian!

Now, get in there!

Vercinix, my name is Xena.

I'm working to get
you out of here.

Mendala sent me.

My wife--
She escaped from the Romans?

Yes, and your children.

They're safe. They want
their father home again.

I'm here to make sure
that happens.

All right.

That's enough.

Prison hardly seems
the place to tell you this,

but you look incredible.

Roman finery becomes you.

We're not going down that road.
This is business.

It's never just business
between us, Xena.

It's hatred, w*r, conflict--

And it's love.

I gotta go to the bathroom.

Are we done yet?

You're gonna k*ll me,
I know it.

Don't! Don't!

I'm not gonna let him die.
Give me a hand!

Here. Take this. I had it
made in Rome before I left.

There are two cells there.
It fits the lock to each of them.

Help me get his hands up.
We're gonna have to move quickly.

Caesar's decided to hold the gladiatorial
fights in the colosseum tomorrow.

I think he's moved
the execution up.

You were right. He's not
going through with the trade.

Does this change our plans?

Not our part of it.

Wh-What does that mean?

It turns out that Vercinix is
more of a prize than I thought.

Caesar has staked his reputation
on the capture and execution of him.

He's not about to give that up.

But when he knows
that it's Crassus--

It won't matter.

The execution will go ahead,
and Crassus will die.

I'm sorry.

You need to be in place
before the games begin.

If I'm right, the execution
will be the finale.

I want to talk about this.

- There's got to be another way.
- There's not.

The time that Crassus buys us
by walking into the arena

is the time that we need
to escape from Rome.

Why don't we put
the horses in place earlier?

O-Or we could ride--

Gabrielle, if I could
accomplish my

plan without Crassus
dying, then fine.




But if this means his death, so be it.
We can't think about that.

No, I can't avoid it. You are
making me be a part of m*rder.

And you're being so
casual about it.

It's not about being casual.

It's about focus.

Focus on Caesar.

Drop it, Gabrielle.

This is about saving a good man.

Crassus is a cold-blooded m*rder*r.
I've seen his handiwork.

I'll do my part.

Good.

We'll stop here.

You could've let me go!

Another second,
I would've been in the trees.

I promised Xena I'd
switch you for Vercinix.

Then you really are
in the middle of it.

I thought you were
different from her.

I thought you had a regard
for life, no matter whose.

You're not going to die, Crassus.

I said I'd switch you.

If the guards recognize who you
are, I have no control over that.

Don't rely on that.

Most of Rome doesn't
know what I look like,

let alone the prison guards.

You will with this.

Your imperial ring.

It identifies you
in every province.

Show this to the guards
once we're gone.

I'm sorry about what I said.

I underestimated you.

Thank you.

We have to be going.
Drink.

If you're anything like me,
you feel naked without a w*apon.

Whether you use it or not,

there's something reassuring
about the weight

and feel of a solid blade.

I wasn't aware
that I needed a w*apon here.

Unless there is something
I should know about.

Caesar has no intention
of trading Vercinix for Crassus.

And more than that,

he sent Brutus out to find
your friend Gabrielle.

- You mean Crassus.
- No, it's your friend he wants.

He seems to think she has
some sort of power over you.

He wants that power.

And what's your
interest in all this?

I am but a servant of Rome.

I want what is good for her.

But if Caesar and Crassus
weren't in the way,

I could do many things.

For one,

I could release the barbarian.

The Kn*fe is a gift,

one that will get the owner
safely past my army outside Rome.

Good-bye, Xena.

Look at that!

Drunk.

Ya slob of a husband!

I can't take it anymore!

You get in the tavern, and you--

No, no, you've got
the wrong one!

I'll take you all on!

Brilliant! Xena brings Crassus
into Rome right under my nose.

It's the last place I'd look.

- And the girl, Gabrielle?
- Apparently still with Crassus.

The tracks were easy to
follow until we got into Rome.

Easy?
Perhaps too easy.

What are you really after,

Xena?

I'm tellin' you.
I ain't never been drinking!

- Drunken-- Drunk.
- Right.

Sleep it off, girl,
and tell it to the magistrate.

Vercinix!

Xena sent me. We're going
to get you out of here.

- How?
- Funny you should ask.

You're going to walk
out of here tomorrow.

Hello, Xena.

Interesting.

Roman design.

I can't believe you
would double-cross me,

just as I was about
to double-cross you.

How'd you know?

You have one obsession, Xena.
That's me.

And because of it,
I have you, and I have Vercinix.

And somewhere out there

is an irritating blonde about to
follow a plan that no longer exists.

Take me back to when you
said you'd get me out of here.

Patience, Vercinix.
You'll be out soon enough.

Tomorrow, as a matter of fact,
to face the headsman.

And as for you, Xena,
you won't get a chance to see it.

You'll already be dead.
The opening act to my spectacle.

Gabrielle?

I'm here.

Crassus is still asleep.

Catch.

Did Gabrielle fill you
in on the plan?

Yes, you want to
swap Crassus for me.

But if you have the key,
then let's go now.

No.

No, we'd never make it.

We have to wait until all
Rome's eyes are elsewhere.

- My execution.
- Exactly.

Now... call the guard.

Guard!

Here! There's something you
should know about this woman.

What? What is it
that's so important?

Seems she has a key.

Look at those people.
Look at them.

Gladiator!

Each one of them considers
himself an individual

with independent thought
and movement.

Yet together, they're like sheep.

Today they want
the death of Vercinix,

and I intend to give it to them.

So, you've rescued Crassus?

Crassus is in my city. It's just
a matter of time before I have him.

Oh, by the way--

I believe that's your dagger.

Ah, tough guy, huh?

Citizens of Rome,

we are gathered here to mark
the end of an era.

The end of resistance in Gaul.

Resistance led by
the evil barbarian Vercinix.

But-- But first...

I present to you....

an ally of the Gauls,
and an enemy of Rome--

Xena, the Warrior Princess!

So let the combat begin!

k*ll her!
Yeah!

Okay. We have Crassus
in your cell being you,

the guard in my cell
being Crassus.

The horses are waiting
at the stable one block west.

When Xena sees me in the crowd,
she'll know we're okay.

Then let's get going.

The longer we stay here,
the longer she has to fight.

Hold on.

This ring.

When the guards see it,
they'll know that it's him.

- They'll set him free.
- Wait!

Never mind.

I owe you my life,
so I won't stop you.

But Crassus
and I will meet again.

We have a blood debt
to settle from Gardenis.

What are you talking about?

My brother and his
family were there.

Crassus personally
ordered the m*ssacre.

How can you be so sure
if everyone was k*lled?

I found my niece crucified.

She told me before she d*ed.

What a move! Yeah!
Go!

Take her to her cell.
We'll deal with her later.

Where's Gabrielle?

She said she'd meet
us at the stable.

Citizens of Rome,

what you've been waiting for--

the death of
the barbarian Vercinix.

Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!

Well, Caesar,
give the people what they want.

I'm not Vercinix.
I'm Crassus!

I'm not Vercinix.
I'm Crassus!

My ring can tell you.
My ring--

My imperial ring!

Tell them who I am!

Yeah!
Tell them!

Come on, tell them!

Caesar! No!

Caesar!

Caesar!

I don't know what's
happening to me, Xena.

I did something that I never
thought I'd be able to do.

I played judge, jury
and executioner.

You only did
what I told you to.

You said Crassus living
or dying wasn't the point.

I had a choice.

I made it.

Gabrielle, I put you into
a situation I had no right to.

I expected you to understand
my logic and ignore your heart.

But I know you were right.

It wasn't right for you.

That's not who you are. If--

If I had to do this
all over again--

You'd still do it.

If I couldn't find
another way, I would.

But I wouldn't include you.

Yeah, but I'd be
hurt if you didn't.

How many more times are you
gonna follow me into battle, huh?

How many more times
am I gonna hurt you?

You are the most dear thing
to me in all the world.

Yet instead of
protecting you--

I'm here because
I want to be here.

I love you, Xena.

I love you too, Gabrielle.
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