04x14 - The Rivals

Episode transcripts for the TV show "Little House on the Prairie". Aired: September 11, 1974 - March 21, 1983.*
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Based on Laura Ingalls books series revolved around the adventures of the Ingalls family who owned a farm in Walnut Grove during the late 1800s.
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04x14 - The Rivals

Post by bunniefuu »

[Children shouting and laughing]

Come on! You can strike
him out! He can't hit!

Right over the plate! Come on!

Ok, you can get him out!

Use your fastball.
He'll never hit it.

Way to go, willie.
Saved another home run.

Aw, shut up.

Children: come on,
laura! Hit a home run!

Come on, laura. Come
on, laura. You can do it.

What a tomboy your sister is.

Well, that's laura.

Come on! You can strike her out!

Blast it out of here!

Come on! Right over the plate!

All right, laura!

All right! Go, laura, go!

Come on! Get it in here
before she gets home!

[Cheering]

That was beautiful,
laura, just beautiful.

Thanks.

Can I walk you home?

Sure. You have to
walk by my way anyway.

[Laura laughs]

Look at them fellas mooning
and spooning over mary.

Yeah. Mush.

Real yucky.

How about going
frogging later on?

- Sure. I'll meet you
at the pond.
- All right.

Charles: here we go. You ready?

Yeah, I'm ready for it.

All right.

Charles: there. That's got it.

Caroline: charles,
why did you rent the

Wagon if you have to
rebuild the whole thing?

We're not rebuilding it, caroline.
We're just tuning it up to a fine pitch.

It's an important haul,
and we mean to win it.

Right, partner?

I know you have your
heart set on winning, but...

Don't worry. We're not going to
be disappointed. It's worth a try.

Besides, until this
busted foot of mine heals,

I'd just as soon be sitting
on a wagon wrassling a team

Than trying to
hobble behind a plow.

Jonathan, there's a
paddle in that bucket.

Jonathan: yeah, so there is.

Caroline: I was wondering
why you don't use it.

Well, I can use these better.
Besides, if I'm not getting dirty,

I don't feel like
I'm really working.

In that case, the way you look,
you must be plumb exhausted.

[Both laugh]

I was just thinking
about his wife.

She must get exhausted trying
to get those clothes clean.

You know, that's
exactly what she said.

[Jonathan laughs]

I'll leave you men to your
labors. I've got a pie to look after.

All right, darlin'.

Charles, about this
freighting contest,

You know any more about the
way they're going to be running it?

No more than I told you.

Teams, wagons, same load.

The first one to mankato gets the
freighting contract and top money.

Top men, top money... That
sounds like us, don't it?

Yeah, if you get the
wheel on the wagon.

Ok.

Hi, pa!

Hey, darlin'. How was school?

Great.

How about a kiss for
your old friend jonathan?

I warn you, mr. Garvey. If you get
any grease on me, ma will skin you alive.

It's a deal.

Pa, can I go frogging
after I do my chores?

I don't see why not.
I'd like some frog legs.

They wouldn't look
good on you, charles.

[Laughing]

Go on. Go on.

Laura: thanks, pa!

Laura: doggone it!

Them frogs sure are slippery.

Jimmy: sure are. It's like they got
eyes in the back of their heads.

Laura: I know.

[Frogs croaking]

There's the
granddaddy of all frogs.

[Croaking]

I'll get him.

Aah!

Here! Grab on!

Oh!

Are you all right?

Yeah. I'm fine.

You look kind of dizzy to me.

Bumped your head,
maybe, when you fell in?

I, uh...

I got to get home.

It wasn't my fault you fell in!

Oh, I tell you, this darn
foot of mine is hurting so bad,

I'll be glad just to sit on
a wagon for a few days.

When are you leaving, pa?

Tomorrow morning,
first light, darlin'.

How long will you
and jonathan be gone?

On this first trip,
at least a week.

That's too long, pa.

I know it is, but it's
a day to sleepy eye,

Days to mankato,
and days back.

No matter how you
count it, that's a week.

And if you get the contract?

Well, we'll be on the road
a lot longer than that.

Mary: I'll miss you, pa.

I'll miss you, too, darlin'.

A man's got to do what's best
for his family, though, doesn't he?

Right now this
man's got to pack.

Oh, charles.

Now, I can do it. Relax.

Ma...

I don't want pa to go away.

None of us do, carrie,

Including your father.

But let's not make it any harder
for him than it is, all right?

Oh, my gosh.

Caroline: what happened to you?

I fell in the pond.

I can see that.

Ha ha! Look at you. Did
you catch any frogs?

What frogs?

You told me you
were going frogging.

Oh! We didn't catch any.

I know what you
are going to catch

If you don't get out
of these wet clothes.

Mary, will you put
some hot water on?

Mary: oh, yeah.

Charles: half-pint,
are you all right?

I'm fine... Just fine.

You're gonna catch
your death of cold.

That sister of yours
is sure acting funny.

Yeah, well... Maybe
she found something

A little more
interesting than frogs.

What's more interesting than...

Mary?

Yeah? Here.

How come boys are
always buzzing around you

Like flies around a stable?

That's an awful way to put it.

Ok.

How about like bees
around a beautiful rose?

At least that sounds better.

Well?

I don't know.

Boys just...

They just seem to like me.

I don't do anything.

[Sighs]

They sure do.

You know, it's a funny thing.

The more I seem to ignore a boy,

The more attention
he seems to pay me.

How many boys have you kissed?

None of your business.

Well, I know you've kissed
at least one... John jr...

Because you were engaged to him.

Mary.

What was it like...

Kissing?

I mean, what did it feel like?

What do you care?

I thought you always
said kissing was yucky.

Yeah.

Yuck.

Can't sleep?

No.

I guess I'm just too
excited, that's all.

Charles... Tomorrow.

Well?

You will be going up
against professionals.

Now, if the other
freighters should win,

I don't want you to
be too disappointed.

Oh, come on. I'm not
gonna be disappointed.

Don't worry about that.

Either we win or we don't win.

- Right?
- Right.

Ok. [Kiss]

Go to sleep, that's it.

- Good night.
- Night.

Caroline, I sure hope we win.

What are you doing down there?

None of your business.

Laura, you better hurry.

You're going to
be late for school.

Won't take a minute.

What about your hair?

Well, I've decided
I need a change.

I'm going to leave it down.

It'll be the first time you
haven't worn braids to school.

Well there's always
a first time, ma.

Besides, I'm growing up.

I think I'm getting a
little too old for braids.

- Ma?
- Hmm?

Can I wear my good pinafore
and my sunday ribbons?

What's the special occasion?

Oh, nothing. I just
want to look nice today.

All right. But be careful
not to get it dirty.

I'll be careful.

Ma... Do you think I'm pretty?

Of course you're pretty.

Pretty as mary?

Mary is mary, and you are you.

And I think you're
both beautiful.

Thanks, ma.

Now hurry up, beautiful!

What on earth are you doing?

I'm just polishing the mirror.

[Exhaling]

[Whistling]

Whew.

[Sighs]

Charles: I got it snug here.

Jonathan: ok.

That ought to hold it.

Here we go.

All set, mr. Perkins.

Move her out, mr. Ingalls.

All right. Ok, partner.
Mankato, here we come.

Yeah. First out, first in.

You'll be eating our
dust before sundown!

And spitting mud balls!

Mary: hi, jimmy.

Hi.

- Hi. Carrie: hi, jimmy.

Are you still mad at me?

Of course not. How
could I be mad at you?

Notice anything
different about me today?

Nope.

You look like the same
old laura ingalls to me.

My hair.

Yeah.

You better cut
some of that mop off

Before it gets in your way
of playing baseball and stuff.

Hi. I'm starting school today.

Name's samantha higgins.

Call me sam for short.

Sam: what's your name, fella?

Jimmy hill.

Want to toss a few
before school starts?

Sure. Come on, laura.

I can't.

Suit yourself.

Where you from?

Just moved here from mankato.

Oh, I know where that is!

Jimmy: right here, sam!

Sam: ok.

Over home plate.

All right.

Ha ha!

Jimmy: fire me one!

Good morning.

[Yawning] good morning, charles.

Where are we?

The way I figure, we're
about miles from mankato.

Ain't nothing back there.

They aren't going
to catch us now.

Looks like we got a
freighting contract, partner.

Yeah.

Charles, look at that
wagon down yonder.

They cheated us.

They cheated us.

Ah, they didn't cheat us. They
just outfoxed us, that's all.

I didn't figure they'd pull a
big freight wagon like this

Off the main road.

Ah, I should have known
they'd probably know

Every goat trail and cow
path in this whole territory.

Nothing we can do about it now.

Just sit back and
enjoy the ride.

Mind if I sit here?

Would you like some
of my ma's apple pie?

Why are you offering?

Well, just being
selfish, really.

You see, I'm doing research

On this paper I'm
going to write,

To get better grades like mary.

The fact is, I've been burning

A lot of the
midnight oil, lately.

Anyway, I'd like to ask
you some questions

On the subject.

What's the subject?

Great lovers through the ages,

Starting with
anthony and cleopatra

And ending up with luke
simms and nellie oleson.

Me and luke?

Well, you were married.

For about minutes.

Well, the important thing
is you got him to ask you.

True enough. What
do you want to know?

Well, how did you, uh...

Attract him?

Well, that's obvious, isn't it?

My natural attributes.

Like what?

Like my naturally
curly hair and...

My good looks.

Ma says I'm beautiful,
but I wouldn't go that far.

Neither would i.

What?

I mean...

Well, all mas think
their kids are beautiful.

And my disposition.

Sweet, unspoiled.

That's obvious.

And daintiness.

That's very important.

I can see that, too.

And, of course, a
good figure helps.

Yeah.

Jimmy: hey, laura!

Want to play baseball?

I can't.

Hey, sam! Want to play baseball?

Sam: you betcha! I'm up first!

[Children shouting]

Now, that was a
smart thing to do.

Boys don't like girls who
are always running around

Playing baseball and
all those rough games.

Half the time, you don't
even smell like a girl.

You're either sweaty
or smelling of fish.

Well, I sweat a
lot, and I fish a lot.

Well, you should cover it up.

Use a scent that's seductive.

Seductive?

Something that lures men...

Like flies to molasses.

Aha.

What you need is some perfume.

Well, my ma's got some,

But it's awful expensive.

Of course it is.

The best thing for
you is toilet water.

Nellie oleson!

What a rotten thing to say!

[Horse nickering]

There's the old maids now.

You guys stop for dinner?

Ha ha ha ha!

Giddyup.

Whoa.

Too bad they didn't give us a
better run for their money.

Green hands... Not
much know-how.

[Men laugh]

Man: you know, we could be
neighborly and help them unload.

- Mr. Atkins.
- Yes, sir?

Let's open this up
and have a look.

All right, sir.

[Clatter]

Open it.

Yeah.

Man: looks like you two men
got yourselves a contract.

When you get it unloaded, come on
in the office and we'll talk about it.

Charles... We won!

Ha ha! Wait till the
wives hear this, huh?!

Caroline: all right, girls.

Mary: hi, bandit.

Caroline: let me call
your sister again. Laura!

Hurry up, now!

Tell them to go
ahead. I'll catch up.

- Hi.
- Oh, hi, laura.

Did you see sam hit that
home run yesterday?

Lucky hit.

Lucky, my eye. Didn't you see
her b*at out that throw to home?

Mm.

She's a real hot prospect.

For what?

For the baseball team.

Oh.

What's that smell?

You noticed it?

Noticed it? I can't help it.

It stinks.

Oh.

It sure does.

Wonder what it can be.

Probably a skunk
or even a dead rat.

Probably right.

[Crying]

[Wagon approaching]

Oh, charles!

- Oh! Oh!
- Ha ha ha!

We won.

Well, don't you hear me?

We got the contract!

Oh, charles, congratulations.

Oh!

Oh, I'm so glad you're home.

I missed you so.

Oh, it's so good to be home.

Hey, but now we start. I
mean, now the work starts.

All we came home was to
tell you girls the good news,

Get a change of clothes, and a good
hot meal. How are the children doing?

- Fine.
- Good, good.

Except laura. I'm a little
bit worried about her.

She hasn't been herself lately.

- What, is she sick?
- No.

Look, if it's schoolwork,
I'll talk to her about it.

As a matter of fact, her
schoolwork's never been better.

It's probably just spring fever,
then. Nothing to worry about.

I suppose.

I can't believe we
got this contract.

What time do you leave?

Morning, first light.

[Sighs]

Well, then I better
get your supper.

Sounds good.

Be in in a minute!

Ma, how long do you
think pa will be gone?

I don't know, mary.

I liked it better
the way it was, ma...

When we were all here, together.

To tell you the
truth, mary, so did i.

Laura, we're going
to be late for school!

You go on, carrie.
We'll catch up.

What's the matter with you?

Just about everything.

Well, like what?

Like when am I going
to get some bumps?

Bumps?

You know.

Oh.

You've got them.

Even nellie oleson's got them.

And that sam, she's
really got them.

Well, look, laura, uh...

Everybody's not the same.

Besides, it's really
not important.

Well, maybe not to you,

But I think it is to jimmy hill.

There's really nothing
you can do about it.

Yeah.

[Bell ringing]

[Children talking]

[Laughter]

All right, class, settle down.

Now, we're going to start
with arithmetic this morning,

And the first
problem is into , .

Laura ingalls, would you come
work the first problem, please?

[Giggling]

Laura.

[Giggling]

Goes into ...

Times.

[Giggling]

Laura: x is ,

And x is .

Take away is .

[Laughter]

Laura, don't you have
to go to the outhouse?

Yes, ma'am. I sure do.

Mm-hmm.

[Laughter]

All right, class, settle down.

Whoa, david.

Well, I haven't seen you
two for quite a spell.

Yeah. About weeks.

Weeks and days.

Jonathan: we've been shuttling

Between new ulm and mankato.

All right, boys.
Unload this one next.

Hop to it.

This is the closest
we've been to home

Since we've been
freighting regular.

You're hours
ahead of schedule.

Yeah. We got some time coming.


We're going to take
a couple of days

And visit with our families
while they still remember us.

Sorry. Not this trip.

Oh, now, come on, mr. Perkins.

Hold on. Before
you start yelling,

I've got some good
news for you, big news.

Like what?

Well, like the boss is
very pleased with you two.

You're both hard-working
and dependable.

You've done a real good job,

And he wants to see to it
that you do a whole lot better.

He says he'll advance you some money
so you can get another wagon and team

And hire more men.

Another wagon?

Hey, we're going to have
wagons on the road, huh?!

Well, how does that sound?

It sounds great. What
do you think we've been

Busting our buns
for all this time?

Good. I'll see you
in the morning.

I'll have you all loaded
up and ready to roll.

We'll be ready!

All right, we got wagons,

Then we're going to get
wagons, then wagons!

And we'll have our
own freight terminal!

All right, we're
going to celebrate.

No sleeping in a
wagon bed tonight.

No eating out of cans.

We're going to go to the
finest restaurant there is

And order the most
expensive food on the menu.

Oh, no. Not until
you have a bath.

All right! What
are we waiting for?!

Rest your foot, partner!
We're going to the hotel!

Charles: whoo-hoo!

[Soft violin and
piano music playing]

Oh. Bonsoir, messieurs.

Francois is at your service.

Charles: how are you?

Table for ?

Jonathan: that's what we
want. There's two of us.

Please follow me.
Please follow me.

This is the best table
in the whole house.

Yes. Please, please.

Oh, thank you.

Voila. Ah. Yes.

For you.

[Whispering]

Howdy, ma'am.

Whew. There's a lot of stuff
on this menu, isn't there?

Yeah. Expensive, too.

There's so much stuff,
I can't make up my mind.

Charles, I can't read
none of these words.

It must be in that i-talian.

No, no. I don't
think that's italian.

I think it's...
Whatchamacallit... French.

There's a lot of
french restaurants.

I think that's what this is.

What is this...

[Mispronouncing] escargots?

What is that?

Charles: escargots? Beats
me. I never heard of it.

Must be good. It's a dollar.

Why don't we ask him?

Uh, mr. Francois.

Oh. Yes?

Look, there's just so many
good things to eat on the menu,

We just can't make a choice,

So we thought maybe
you could just pick out

Whatever is the best
stuff to eat in this place.

Why, of course!

Jonathan: and hang expense.

- We're celebrating.
- Right.

That's wonderful.

Specialite de maison...

Uh, first, uh...
Escargots a la francois.

I am francois.

And then salade nicoise.

After that, piece
de resistance...

Boeuf bourguignonne.

And for dessert,

Glace royale and cafe noir.

And I'll have some coffee.

Jonathan: well,
that sounds good.

Why don't you bring us of all
of them things you talked about?

Fine. And, of course, gentlemen,

You will want a bottle
of our best local wine, eh?

Well, of course.

Of course. Thank you very
much. Thank you, messieurs.

Nice fella.

Yeah. Very nice man.

Boy, this is some
place. This is living.

This is high off
the hog, charles.

Thank you. And I'll
tell you something,

We do well in that
freighting business,

We'll be eating like this
maybe once, twice a month.

Yeah. Pretty quick, we'll be
buying one of them big houses

And maybe even
living in the city.

Sleepy eye, red, ' .

An unpretentious
little wine, but, oh ho ho!

Playful, yes.

Would you care to taste it?

Well, that's what
I've ordered it for.

Fill it up. I don't want to
play with it. I want to drink it.

[Laughing]

That's good.

That's fine. Thanks very much.

Thank you.

Look at those
young'uns over there.

Hmm.

Cute, ain't they?

I can hardly believe I haven't
seen my girls in almost a month.

[Laughter]

That boy of mine
is growing so fast,

In a month, I might not even
be able to recognize him.

[Laughing]

Yeah.

But it's all worth it, though.

Going to make ourselves a
pile of money. You wait and see.

Got to make a lot of money if
we'll be eating in a place like this.

[Laughter]

[Laughing]

Francois: voila, messieurs!

Escargots a la francois.

It's the most terrific
dish in the entire house.

Yours, sir.

Them's snails!

Yes. Of course.

Escargots.

Charles, if this is
the way the rich eat,

I'd rather be poor.

Me, too.

Cancel them dinners.

But, messieurs...

Hey, cancel 'em!

Now, you listen to me.

You know, if we leave right now,
we can be home before first light.

What are we waiting for?

Not these snails,
that's for sure.

Snails.

Whoa.

This is a surprise.

Yeah, well, it's... Kind
of a surprise to me, too.

It's just an overnight stay?

That's, uh...

That's what I want
to talk to you about.

I'm listening.

We, uh...

That is, me and jonathan, we...

We gave them back the
freighting contract,

And we decided we didn't
want to take any more.

I know it's giving
up a lot of money.

I hope you're not
too upset about it.

I'd like to hear why.

We just talked it over,

And we decided we didn't want
to run a big freighting company...

Or live in a... Big house

And go to a bunch
of fancy restaurants.

We just wanted to be
what we are, that's all.

What's that, charles?

Well, your husband,
for one thing, and...

A father to my children. I'm...

I mean, I miss you. I'd like
to see you once in a while.

I'm just not cut
out for it. I'm sorry.

Oh!

You great big galoot!

That is the grandest
thing you ever said to me.

Oh.

Oh.

I just couldn't do it.

Oh, I missed you.

Oh.

I'm so glad.

You know, I was starting to
think of that freighting company

As some kind of a rival.

Mmm.

Oh, no. No competition.

Ha ha!

No competition.

None at all.

Oh!

Oh.

Welcome home, charles.

Welcome home.

Laura, please don't cry anymore.

Pa is back. Come on. Get up.

Laura: I'll never get up. Never!

And I'll never go
to school again.

[Crying]

Hey, mary!

Pa! I'm so glad you're home.

Carrie: me, too!

Well, then that makes
it unanimous, huh?

I'll tell you something else.

I'm home for good.
No more freighting.

Oh, pa!

Where's your sister?

Uh, she says she's never
going to go to school again.

What's this all about?

Well, that's something you missed
while you were away, charles.

Now that I'm back, I'll
go up and talk to her.

Uh, charles, let me
take care of it. Please?

Sure.

Now, young lady,

What's this I hear about
never going to school again?

I can't, ma.

I made a fool out
of myself yesterday.

I quite agree.

You do?

Yes.

Anybody who pretends
to be anybody else

Is just plain downright silly.

Well, I just want
other people...

Jimmy hill...

To like me.

Before they can, you
have to like yourself.

That's the most
important thing of all.

We have to be...

To become what god intended.

If he went to all the trouble
to make a laura ingalls,

He certainly wouldn't want her

To act like anybody else.

God must like laura ingalls

An awful lot.

So why shouldn't you?

I never thought
about it that way.

Well, now that you have,

I want you to get up and
get dressed for school,

And I expect you to
conduct yourself

Like laura ingalls...

Not some poor imitation
of somebody else.

Thank you, ma.

[Children shouting]

Hi, mary! Hi, jimmy!

Jimmy: oh, hi, laura.
Want to play?

Sure!

Sam: come on! Let's play ball!

Do you want to be up first?

Yeah.

I'm going to knock you
on your tail, ingalls,

With my flying fastball.

Put the ball where
your mouth is, sam.

Children: come on,
laura! Hit a home run!

[Children cheering]

Yay!

Whoo!

Laura: did you ever carry
samantha's books home?

Nah. She carried mine.

I didn't want her to, mind you,

But she's kind of a bully.

Well, I'll be seeing you.

Wait. You've got my books.

Jimmy: champ.

Want to go fishing saturday?

Sure. I'll bring the worms.

It's a deal.

Laura!

I didn't think it was yucky.

Me, neither.
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