03x18 - Help Wanted

[bunniefuu]

Thank you, Stanley.

Here's our summer special.

Punky pizza, pepperoni,

sausage and M&M's. Mm.

My idea. Great, huh?

How many of these
have you sold today?

- Counting this?
- Yeah.

One.

School is finally over.
A toast to freedom.

- To summer vacation!
- To the polo season!

I can't wait
to get to Camp Kookalookie.

Kookalookie?
What does that mean?

It's a Indian word.

It means, "Don't forget
to write your name

on your underwear."

I hope I don't get
home sick there.

This will be my first summer
away from Camp Kramer.

- Where's that?
- On our estate.

My parents built a bunk house

and bussed in
the socially acceptable.

No wonder we weren't invited.

We will all be in camp
together this year.

Maybe not all of us.

I'm not sure I can go
this summer.

Why not?

I don't think
Henry can afford it.

He invested all of his money
into Punky's Place.

Tsk.

That's right.
I keep forgetting.

You're poor.

Here you are.
Mocha ripples with sprinkles.

I don't want sprinkles.

Well, that's what you asked for.

I don't care.
I don't want 'em.

What do you want, Myron darling?

Nuts.

Stanley, give the boy nuts.

Nuts.

You want nuts?
You got nuts.

Oh...

Look, grandma, I made a unicorn.

I'm not paying for that cone.
It's ruined.

Come on, dear.

That does it! I quit.

Oh, Stanley, you can't quit.
You're the only help I have.

Uh...

Guys.

I think I'm getting an idea.

Okay, next applicant.

- Harold Loomis.
- Well, that's me.

Loomis is easy to remember
'cause it rhymes with goomis.

I'll keep it in mind.

I'm Henry Warnimont.
Can I ask you a few questions?

Okay.

- Uh...
- If they're multiple choice.

Ah.

Tell me, why do you want
to work here?

- It's the first sign I saw.
- Oh.

Look, Harold,
I think it's fair to warn you

that this job
calls for lots of hard work,

personality and intelligence.

Darn.

On the other hand,
I only pay minimum.

Good. I only work minimum.

I don't know if you're exactly
what I'm looking for.

I don't, either.

- I'll get back to you.
- Will you, really?

No.

Okay.

Hm.

I'll use you as a reference.

"Zladislew Terdniak."

- Hello. How are you being?
- Excuse me.

But aren't you a little old
for this job, Mr. Terdniak?

- Hello. How are you being?
- Uh...

Excuse me.
Do you speak English?

Hello. How are you being?

I'm sorry, the job is taken.

- Goodbye. How are you being?
- Uh, uh...

Uh...
Oh.

I'll never find
the right person. Hm...

How do you do?
I'm applying for a position

with your organization.

Brewster's the name,
service is my game.

Oh, come on, Punky.

Please, sir. Hear me out.

Very well.

You look very, um,
business-like.

I dress for success.

My resume.

That's resume.

- You're the boss.
- Not yet.

Let's see.
"Education, fifth grade.

Previous sales experience.
Five years?"

I've been selling school
candy bars since kindergarten.

I know. I bought 'em all.

Let's see. "Reference.
Henry P. Warnimont." Hm.

I believe you know
the gentleman.

Salt of the Earth.
I can't say enough about him.

Handsome, smart, good posture,

willing to give
beginners a chance.

Slow down, Punky.

Why do you want this job?

Forget want it. I need it.

- What for?
- Summer camp.

This way I can pay for it.
You wouldn't have to pay my way.

Ah...

Well, I don't know, Punky.

Henry, you named it
Punky's Place.

Don't you think
a Punky should work here?

I may not be easy to work for.

So? You're not easy
to live with, either.

- And I only pay minimum.
- I'm used to that.

You know what my allowance is?

Punky, as much as I would enjoy
working with you,

I'm not sure
that it's the best thing.

- Why not?
- Well...

I'd be your father at home,
your boss at work.

I don't think mixing the two
is a good idea.

I'd better wait to see
who else applies.

After careful consideration,
the job is yours.

Thanks, Henry.

Henry, how do I look?

Wonderful, Punky,
just wonderful!

Is that father to daughter
or boss to employee?

Both.

Now, let me explain
a few restaurant procedures.

No need.
I've watched you.

I've learned from the master.

Well, I admit.

I did rather
take to this business. Heh.

Now, I should tell you

how to load the napkin holders

and the dishwasher and...

Henry, Henry, Henry.

Not to worry.

Just leave everything
to the punker.

Watch this.

Welcome to Punky's Place.
Two for lunch?

I'll get your water
and be back for your order.

And might I add,

we're honored
to have your patronage.

Punky, you handled that
very well.

This job is a piece of cake.

Cake! Where's my cake?

Coming.

Grab your lasagna.

Careful. Hot plate.

Hey, kid.

This is supposed to be
a upside-down cake.

Punky.

Table four.

High and outside.

Miss, where's our table?

Hendersons, come on down.

A chair.

Ah...

Hey!
What's goin' on?

Sorry, sir, you're gonna have
to wait in line

just like everybody else.

Oh, miss, our water.

Oh, have you drank this yet?

- No.
- Good.

Here. It's nice to share.

Punky, are you being careful?

Sure. Everything's fine.

Ah. Are the customers happy?

Ah, they're thrilled.

You better get back
in the kitchen.

Coming through.
Move them or lose them.

Ah!

I thought I told you to wait.

Hey, kid, please,
you wanna take my money or not?

Do me a fav.
Sweep your way out.

Could I have a napkin, please?

Sure.

Anything else?

Here's the order for table six.

Punky, don't try
to take everything at once.

Don't worry, I can handle it.

No sweat-a-roo, ah.

Henry, do we have
any Krazy Glue?

No, but we have
the cleanest bread in town.

You put it in the dishwasher.

I wondered why the oven
had a rinse cycle.

Guess I goofed a little.

No. You goofed a lot!

Punky, you've been working here
two and one half hours

at four dollars an hour.
That means you earn ten dollars.

Hey, alright.

And during that time,

you cost me $

in broken dishes
and ruined food.

Gee, you'll never make money
that way.

I'm glad you noticed.

Punky, let's face it.

Your working here
is not working here.

You're saying I'm fired?

Let's call it
an early retirement.

Brandon, would you ask Henry
if he picked up milk last night?

Tell her I stopped by
on the way home.

It's in the refrigerator.

Tell him thanks.

She's welcome.

Can we stop talking
through the dog?

Maybe we should just
stop talking.

Look, if anyone should be upset
about this, it's me.

I expected you to act
like an employee,

not a two-legged wrecking ball.

Hey, I tried.
I tried real hard.

I mean, how is this gonna look
in the school newspaper?

"Punky fired
from Punky's Place."

You insulted the customers.

You didn't give them
proper change

and you served more food
on the floor

than you did on the tables.

Those tables are too small.

What possessed you
to put an entire frozen chicken

in my blender?

The lady ordered
a cold chicken salad.

I don't think
there's anything more to say.

I guess there isn't, too.

- Enough said.
- Enough said, too.

- Enough.
- Enough!

Tsk. Mm...

Oh.

Ah!

See you in the morning.

Don't sit down, Henry.

Your three best customers
are here.

Come on, Punky,
stop moping around.

- You look bushed, Henry.
- Oh.

You have no idea
how busy it was in here today.

I have aches in places where
I didn't know I had places.

Well, you deserve those aches,

you old, you... you old meanie.

You broke your own
daughter's heart.

Oh, Betty, get off my back.
It hurts enough as it is.

Okay, okay.

I won't say who's at fault,
even though it is you.

What I really want
is for you and Punky

to stop being mad at each other.

Oh, oh. I'm flexible.

I'll accept her apology
as soon as she offers it.

Listen up!

Now, we're gonna have
some peace talks here!

See, that's Punky's fault.

A classy place
would have cloth napkins.

Oh, good.
You're talking.

Now shut up.

We're going to have
Chicago's version

of the Mid-East peace talks

right here and right now.

And you two
aren't leaving this table

until this thing is settled.

But she has to be back in school
by September.

Now, come on, you two.

You're gonna negotiate a treaty.

I said, come on.

Now, park
your peace-makin' patooties

in these chairs.

Hey, I'm good.

They could use me in Beirut.

They have enough tanks.

Come one, Cherie.
Let's leave them alone.

Oh, why do we always have to go

just when it's getting good?

Okay, you want to talk first?

- No. You wanna talk first?
- No.

- Want to go home?
- Might as well.

You're not goin' anywhere.

Sit back down.

Okay, I'll go first.

I don't think you should fire me

just 'cause I messed up
a little.

A little?

Okay, a lot.

But you're a tough guy
to work for.

No, I'm not.

In fact,
I tried to go easy on you

because my father
was so tough on me.

You worked for your dad?

My father
came to this country in

with cents in his pocket.

Really?

And $
in the lining of his coat.

He used the money
to build a shop

and start doing what
he was doing in the old country.

- What was that?
- He was a glass blower.

He would blow into a long tube

and the hot glass
at the other end of the tube

would blow up
into a beautiful bottle.

When I was years old,
I asked him for a job

and he hired me as an assistant.

What happened?

At the end
of my first day's work,

instead of bottles,

all I had was marbles
and a hernia.

- You blew it?
- No, I couldn't blow it.

That's why he fired me.

Well, you should've asked
your father how to do it right.

I'm sure he would've taught you.

You're right.

And I think that anyone
who takes on a new job

should ask questions.

What do you think?

I think you're trying
to make a point here.

I think
you made the point yourself.

Yeah, I wanted to do
such a good job for you.

I didn't want to bother you
with dumb questions.

The only dumb question

is the one you don't ask. Ah.

Honey, I think you bit off
more than you could chew.

Yeah, and I choked.

Well, Punky,

I'm going to do for you

what I wish
my father had done for me.

- What?
- Give you a second chance.

Really?

- Really.
- Great!

And this time
I promise to ask questions.

I won't chew off
more than I can bite.

Okay.

And I promise
to explain things to you

and to have more patience.

- Deal?
- Deal.