04x06 - Passed Away at Punky's Place

[bunniefuu]

Hi, Brandon.

I cut through the park
on my way home from school

and I saw that cute
little beagle you like.

But she was
with the big Doberman.

Henry!

Oh, where'd he go?

Detroit?

Oh, he got a great bargain
on a pizza oven.

Oh, glad you're home, Punky.

Henry had to scram out of here
fast to Detroit.

Oh, you already told her?

Well, did you tell her
she'll spend the night upstairs

with Cherie and me?

I guess he forgot.

Don't feel bad, Brandon.
You're only human.

Hello. Hi, Henry.

I miss you already too.

Did you fly to Detroit?

I know flying's expensive.

But you could've taken
one of those no-frills flights.

Hm, to Henry,

a no-frills flight
is being sh*t out of a cannon.

He rented a truck and he's
bringing it back himself.

Let me talk to him.

Henry, why didn't you have
that oven delivered?

The shipping charges
couldn't be that high.

No, I don't think
you're made out of money.

You're cheap, that's all.

Look, there's a trucker's motel

just outside of Detroit
called The Haul It Inn.

You're gonna sleep in the truck?

Well, I give up.

Well, have a good
cheap trip, Henry.

Everyone says goodbye.

He's all upset
because he's got to close

the restaurant up for one night.

Yeah, but with Henry
out of town,

there's no possible way
to keep it open.

You're right.

Unless...

This magazine says that

Michael J. Fox's favorite color
is red.

Makes sense.

Out of all the colors,
I'd say red's the shortest.

Speaking of colors,
do these colors clash?

- Yes.
- Good.

Why are you putting that on?

We're only going upstairs
to my place to sleep.

Well, we won't be just sleeping

and we won't be just upstairs
at your place.

What are you talking about?

I'm talking about
this gorgeous idea I have.

Cherie, you're gonna love this.

Punky, last time
you had a gorgeous idea

and snapped your fingers,

I ended up getting grounded
for a month.

It won't happen this time.

I've got a great surprise
for Henry.

What kind of surprise?

Psst, psst.

What if we sneak down
to Punky's Place tonight

and run the restaurant
all by ourselves?

- I've got a better idea.
- What's that?

What if we sneak down
to the doctor's office

and get your head examined?

- Cherie.
- Punky.

Look, we're doing this
for Henry.

He rented a truck and he's gonna
be driving all night.

This way, when he gets home,

he'll have a full night's
receipts waiting for him.

Or a restaurant full of ashes
'cause we goofed in the kitchen.

Look, Henry's always telling me
to take more responsibility.

Plus, the sign
does say Punky's Place.

I've got to help.

Well, when the sign
says Cherie's Place,

I'll help too.

Alright.

I'll do it... myself.

You can't do it yourself.

Thanks.

We're gonna have a great time.

You can cook
and I'll wait on tables.

You'll be waiting a long time.
I'm a lousy cook.

You make great hot dogs
and hamburgers.

What else do people need to eat?

Well...

You can try out
your mystery sauce.

Yeah, my mystery sauce.

But my grandmother
will never let us do it.

She'll never know.

We'll tell her we're doing
our homework at Margaux's.

Maybe we can get away with it.

But what if
something goes wrong?

What if people wanna know
where Henry is?

What if we get some complaints?
What if we run out of food?

- What if...
- Cherie!

Yeah?

What if you don't say
what if anymore?

Oh, okay.

Here comes some more customers.

Why don't you whip up
a batch of mystery sauce?

This looks like a nice

out-of-the-way place,
huh, sweets?

I'll find us a nice little table

away from the window
and the door.

How about the roof?

Your wife
will never see us there.

Unless she's a pigeon.

Good day, sir.

Here's a nice table
for you and your daughter.

She's not my daughter.

Oops, your wife.

I'm not his wife.

Double oops.

In fact, until tonight, I didn't
know anyone was his wife.

I see. Our menu...

But, DeeDee, sweets,

I was afraid to tell you
I was married.

Oh.

Too bad, we're out of chicken.

You have been lying to me
since the day we met.

Perhaps some food
will lighten the mood?

May I suggest hamburgers

with our chef's
special mystery sauce?

Yeah, sure. Give us two.

Uh, excuse me, miss?

Good evening, sir.

Uh, I hope
you're nice and hungry.

I... I'm not. My car is.

It's out of gas
around the corner.

- Where's your phone?
- Take a hike.

- What?
- I mean, take a right.

The phone is right over there.

Ralph, look, it's Elmo Pickles,

the restaurant critic.

It is? Yikes!

Of course, it is.
He eats here all the time.

Elmo Pickles, the restaurant
critic, just walked in.

Really? I didn't think
my burgers were that good.

Let's get him
to review Punky's Place.

Maybe he'll give us one of those
little smiling fat guys.

But what if he doesn't
like the food

and he gives us one of those
little skinny guys doing this?

Don't worry, Cherie.

Your mystery sauce is proof.

DeeDee darling,
try to forget for a minute

that I'm temporarily married.

And... and try to remember
that I'm crazy about you.

- Oh.
- You make my life so exciting.

So fantastic.

So thrilling.

Then why do you keep
falling asleep on me?

You know I got
this little medical condition.

- Oh.
- It's called narcolepsy.

I... I... I drop off
into a deep sleep

at the most
unpredictable moment.

Even when I'm with someone
as interesting as you...

Is it morning already?

Goodbye, Ralph.
I never wanna see you again.

I... I beg your pardon?
My hearing aid just went dead.

I can't hear a thing.

Read my lips. Goodbye!

DeeDee? DeeDee?

Monsoir, you are not leaving
Punky's Place?

Mais oui.Uh, the Automobile
Club is on the way.

Contrary.
You must not leave

without trying Chef Cherie's

hamburger
with the mystery sauce.

Mustn't I?

Gourmet food lovers
cross the burning desert,

brave the stormy seas,

fly through the eye
of a hurricane

just to eat,
as they say in France, here.

My, my.

And many of them
are famous restaurant critics

who give us wonderful reviews.

Please, Mr. Pickles.

Ah, you recognized me?

That's one of the prices
of fame, I suppose.

Go ahead, rave about my column.

Oh, it's so... yummy.

I absolutely never stuff my face
without checking with you first.

Well, you're very charming
and, uh, very persuasive.

I suppose
I could have a little munch

while I wait for my gasoline.

But I don't just give
good reviews.

If the food and service
aren't up to par,

I could flatten this place
like a crepe.

Oh, don't worry,
you won't get any crap here.

We've got the best food

and the quickest service
in town.

I do like the ambience.

Oh, our food is very healthy.
You won't need an ambulance.

Here's a fork,
a spoon and a Kn*fe

in case you use all three.

What will it be, sir?

I'll, uh, I'll have

the hamburger
with the mystery sauce.

Perfect.

Oh, miss? Cancel one burger.

Okay. DeeDee dumped you, huh?

What?

Never mind.

Here's your burgers for table .

Perfect.

I'll give one to Pickles.

That's what
I call quick service.

It would have been faster,

but this meat
is from a brand-new cow.

I never eat an hamburger
without a slice of tomato.

Hang loose,
we'll grow you a fresh tomato.

Is your hamburger okay?

Will there be anything else?

Will there be anything else?

Oh, he's probably just relaxing
after a good meal.

Here's that evening paper
you asked for, sir.

Stock market quotes
right in front of you.

You're right, Punky.
Everything's going great.

- Except for one thing.
- What's that?

The man at table is...

dead.

Dead? Are you sure he's dead?

I think so.

I've seen a lot
of "Quincy" reruns.

- Why don't you go check?
- Me?

Yeah. Go, go.

Boo!

He, uh, has the hiccups.

He could be dead.

If he wasn't before,
you just scared him to death.

What are we gonna do?

Punky, this is all your fault.

I told you we shouldn't do this.

For your information,

he d*ed eating
one of your hamburgers.

He wouldn't have eaten it

if the restaurant
had been closed.

That's enough,
Miss Poison Mystery Sauce.

Look, we need help here.
Call .

Hi, I'm calling
from Punky's Place

at the Midtown Mall.

One of our customers
just bit the burger.

He's dead.
Could you come over right away?

Bye.

The paramedics are on their way.

Punky's Place.

Henry?

Wh... why are you calling here?

I'm at Margaux's.

Oh, you tried there first.

Listen,
I can explain everything.

Ah, I can't hear you.
Someone's screaming.

Oh, it's you.

Calm down, Henry.

I didn't want you
to lose dinner business.

Okay, we'll close down.

It's dead here anyway.

Bye.

I'm a m*rder*r. I'm a m*rder*r.

I'm a m*rder*r.

Snap out of it, Cherie.

So far, you've only
taken one life.

Fortunately, no one else
is eating a hamburger, right?

Right.

- Pickles!
- Pickles!

Uh, you can't eat that.

Why not?

There's some... something
I forgot to do with it.

- What?
- Throw it away.

It smells so good,
I'm dying to try it.

That's what we're afraid of.

- Do you know who I am?
- Yes.

- Good.
- Do you know who I am?

- No.
- Good.

I'll go make you a hot dog.

Uh, uh, with mystery sauce?

Stick with mustard.

I could make you famous.

Tell me.
What's in the mystery sauce?

That's what
we're trying to find out.

I'll be right back
with your hot dog.

- You're gonna love it.
- Uh-huh.

I'm a m*rder*r. I'm a m*rder*r.
I'm a m*rder*r.

It was an accident.
It was an accident.

It was an accident.

They're gonna send me
to the big house.

Me, Cherie Johnson,

behind bars, for life.

Cherie?

Will they let me
have a job in prison?

Yeah, but I doubt
they'll let you cook.

Cherie, you're not
going to prison.

Now hurry up and slap a bun
around that weenie.

Here's your hot dog, sir.

- Did you toast that bun?
- Yes, sir.

I know some buns
I'm gonna toast.

Oh, Lord.

Even He can't help you two
out of this one.

Mrs. Johnson,
would you like a table?

I'd rather have an explanation.

Whatever possessed you two
to think

you could run Punky's Place
by yourselves?

Don't blame Cherie.
It was all my fault.

She's right.

You could have had a robbery
or started a fire or...

- Or k*lled someone.
- I wouldn't go that far.

You could if you want.

That's nothing to kid about.

She's not kidding.

There's a dead man over there
behind the business section.

You stay here.

My check, please?

Oh, it's on the house.

Compliments of Punky's Place.

Are you bribing me?

Of course not.
It's our policy.

First weenie's always free.

Oh, thank you.

- Is it morning already?
- You're not dead?

- What?
- Dead! Dead!

Oh, yes, yes,
my hearing aid is dead.

Oh, I'm sorry I dozed off.

- I have narcolepsy.
- What's that?

It's a sudden need to sleep.

You can even doze off
standing up.

Isn't that right, sir?

- Sir?
- What's for breakfast?

Okay, now, nobody panic.

- Where's the victim?
- Right here.

What?

Oh, no, it's Ralph,
the narcoleptic again.

Hello, Lyle, Loomis.

- Hey, where's DeeDee?
- What?

Listen, Ralph,
do the city a big favor.

Get some batteries
for that hearing aid.

- What?
- God.

Well, I guess we'll just take
off now since nobody's dead.

What?

We may have to call them back

after Henry finds out
what you've been up to.

I wonder
when Henry's coming home.

Oh, he called?

He'll be back in a half an hour?

No, we're not gonna run away
and join the circus.

We'll stay and face the music.

You girls could've gotten
Henry and the restaurant

in big trouble.

I had to take time off
from the hospital.

And heaven only knows

what Elmo Pickles wrote
in this newspaper.

Well, let's read it and weep.

Come on, grandma, let's go.

Alright, alright.
I'm going as fast as I can.

- Hurry up already.
- Mrs. Johnson, hurry up.

- Wait a minute, here it is.
- Grandma.

It is here.

Come on.

"Dining With Pickles.

I accidentally popped
into a little restaurant

called Punky's Place where... "

"The young waitress
was eager to please."

I'm famous!

"What really impressed me
was the delightful young chef... "

"Who wouldn't serve
her special hamburger

with mystery sauce

because she felt
it wasn't quite perfect."

"Reasonably priced,
it appears that city employees

have already discovered
Punky's Place

as I saw police and paramedics

arriving as I left.

I heartily give Punky's Place

two smiling fat guys."

Henry will love that.

The hotdogs are fabulous

and Punky herself told me

your first weenie
is always free."

Yikes.