- Surprise.
- Surprise!
Well, gee,
glad to see you too, Mom.
Of course we're glad to see you,
dear, but it's not your birthday.
No, and it's not Gabrielle's either.
Not until tomorrow.
That's why it's a surprise!
Get it?
It was Joxer's idea.
No surprise there.
But here's one for ya.
Hey!
Autolycus...
I wouldn't have picked you
for a party, boy.
Well, call me sentimental, but I hear
the words "cake" and "ice cream" and...
I'm there.
Well, I'm sorry to say but Gabrielle
isn't arriving until tomorrow.
So if you don't mind,
I'm going to get some shut-eye.
Wait, not that way.
I've put you in the
room next to mine.
Really?
- Come on, dear.
- Ok.
You're home so rarely these days...
I wanted you close.
I haven't got that
little room, have I?
The bed's too small.
Mom?
No! Stop!
Not the face.
You're right.
I should start at the bottom.
Try that again, you'll
be booking a cruise
to Tartarus with your
friend here, Xena.
Oh, sure... I know who you are.
All Olympus knows
the Warrior Princess.
Ares has made sure of that.
He's also made me
Goddess of Retribution.
Discord's the name.
Retribution, huh?
Guess you gotta start somewhere.
Where I'll start is with
the person who did this.
Hand him over.
He's all yours.
Very funny...
But it just so happens he was...
otherwise engaged.
So, cut the comedy.
You think I did it?
I wish.
But unfortunately,
I saw enough to know it wasn't you.
The only other people here
are my family and friends.
You saying one of them
is the m*rder*r?
No.
You're telling me.
After all, "it takes one
to know one", right?
And somebody did k*ll her.
- Clearly, but...
- No buts!
You either cough up
the k*ller by sunrise,
or I take one of your buddies.
Your choice.
But either way,
someone's gonna pay.
In a time of ancient gods...
...warlords...
...and kings...
A land in turmoil
cried out for a hero...
She was Xena...
a mighty princess,
forged in the heat of battle...
...The power...
...The passion...
...The danger...
Her courage will
change the world...
I've got until sunrise
to find out who did it.
Sunrise'll be here in no time.
- One of us? That's absurd!
- She's dead, all right.
Well, that's typical.
Leave it to the gods to try
and frame an innocent party.
Yeah. You know, Autolycus is right.
She's dead.
But she could 'a had
a heart condition.
Yeah, maybe it grew that Kn*fe.
She was a total stranger, Xena.
Then it's time we got acquainted.
Let's take a look.
Muzzles...
Leather bonds...
Manacles...
Oh, nothing unusual here.
He's right.
These are the basic tools
of the trade for a...
For a bounty hunter.
Bounty hunter.
I saw that on her arm
when I served her.
I didn't think of it till now.
Mom, could I have a word?
Please.
What are these for?
So you knew she was
a bounty hunter?
Well, not until you pulled out
the manacles and chains.
That's when it hit me.
Before that...
Why?
Because when I first heard the crash,
I went into your room...
and you weren't there.
The storm kept me awake.
I was putting water on the coals
in the kitchen when I heard the crash.
I gotta ask you this, Mom.
You k*lled once
before to protect me.
Is history repeating itself?
That was different.
I was protecting a child.
Well, you know what they say...
No matter what your age,
you're always a child to your mother.
Xena! Look here!
She's a bounty hunter, all right.
Her name's Ravenica.
Looks like this was
a business trip.
Can you believe that?
And after all you've done, too!
Yeah, what an insult... dinars.
It should have been ,
maybe a million.
It seems this Ravenica's
cashed in on one bounty already.
Hey, maybe there's
a happy ending, after all.
Oh, boy!
Oh, all right...
Rocks...
Must be a decoy.
She probably kept her
real valuables on her.
- Or near her.
- Or ne...
Ravenica...
You knew her?
Well, I only met her
once in person
but I saw enough of her work
in the stables to last a lifetime.
Stables?
Yeah. She'd catch her bounties
by slowing down their horses.
- How did she do that?
- Cutting their tendons...
and hobbling the poor things.
Most of them had to be put down.
Yeah, she was a real piece of work.
Are you sure that
the dead woman is Ravenica?
Another look and I'd be positive.
All right.
- Well?
- Yeah, it's her, all right.
So you admit you knew her!
Maybe you liked those
horsies a little too much.
Let me rephrase that.
Ravenica here k*lled some horses.
You got mad!
Now she's dead!
Oh, come on, people...
Do I have to spell it out for ya?
Minya in the bedroom with the Kn*fe.
Oh, get a clue! I didn't even know
it was her until just now.
So ya say.
You calling me a liar?
Wait a minute!
All right, all right, settle down.
No one is calling anyone anything.
Xena's right. Remember?
We're all friends here.
Most of us.
Joxer's just looking at it
from every angle, right, Joxer?
- That's right.
- Oh, yes, he's very broad-minded.
Look! Ravenica has been m*rder*d
and someone here is responsible.
Xena, we've got trouble.
What's going on?
Surprise.
Ok.
Look, Xena, there's a bounty
hunter after you.
Sh...
She's on the floor...
- Dead?
- Dead.
I guess you found her first, huh?
Yes, I found her.
I didn't k*ll her.
Oh, that's good.
So if you didn't k*ll her,
then who did?
Autolycus, come and
give us a hand, would you?
Big job, running a tavern.
Lots of things to keep track of, huh?
Food...
Drink...
Keys...
Hey, what do you know?
There's a key to my room.
And... to Xena's and Joxer's...
'Course, you'd have a key to every
room in the place, wouldn't ya?
- Cyrene.
- Meanin?
Meaning, ya must know
every creaky floorboard
and squeaky hinge
in the entire place. Why...
you could float around
like a ghost if you had to.
- And why would she wanna do that?
- Bounty hunter checks in...
and despite what she says,
I think she knew it.
You also knew it was damn likely
your daughter would be on her list.
Autolycus...
We already had this discussion.
Then you must agree,
no one has
more means or a stronger
motive to k*ll Ravenica
than your own dear,
overprotective mother.
Sorry, Cyrene.
Tough break.
Book her, Xena.
I'm outta here.
He's an idiot.
Thanks for the help...
tall, dark and... mortal.
I should have known Xena wouldn't have
the guts to turn in her own mom.
What's the big idea?
I thought you were the poster girl
for truth and justice.
I am, when I'm sure
it's being served.
And I'm not.
Come on, Discord...
you gave me till sunrise, remember?
Fine.
Play your little detective games.
But time is running out.
You know... It's hard to believe
you're new at this.
I gotta tell you, you're doin'
a hell of a job.
Vigilant... Hard-working...
You even put a clock on the case.
Which reminds me I'm a little pressed
for time, so, you'll pardon me.
Hey!
Pressed for time?
I see what you mean.
Suffer!
Who was that?
Ares' latest find... Discord,
Goddess of Retribution.
If Xena doesn't find
Ravenica's k*ller,
Discord's taking one of us...
- whether we did it or not.
- But that's not fair.
Well, she's a goddess.
I'm just glad she's gone.
Yeah? Not for long.
Lila, you look white as a sheet.
I'll get you some water.
So, where's the fire, big guy?
Well, I just thought that I had
the case all figured out.
Sorry I almost got
you torched, Cyrene.
So...
You're saying it was Cyrene in
the bedroom with the kitchen Kn*fe.
No.
In the kitchen with
the bedroom Kn*fe?
No.
I think it might have
something to do with this.
- Look!
- Hey!
That's private property!
His bag spilled across the kitchen
floor, and these were in it.
Well, that explains a lot of things.
So, maybe her locked purse
wasn't a decoy after all.
Ok, I'm a thief.
Hey! There's news!
Meanwhile, we got a m*rder*r
among us, remember?
I hate to say this, Autolycus, but people
have k*lled for less than diamonds.
Come on, Gabrielle...
You know my rap sheet.
Do you recall seeing
"ruthless m*rder*r" anywhere on it?
King of Thieves...
Escape artist extraordinaire...
- Master of disguise...
- Quiet.
I'm willin' to bet anything,
that mustache is phony.
Autolycus could have robbed her
after she was dead.
After sh...?
Now, you listen here, missy,
I may be a thief,
but I've got my standards. And...
And he wasn't the only one
to go through her stuff.
What do you mean?
There are three scroll sheets here.
One of them contains my bounty.
The other's of a a wanted
poster for some other guy.
And this, the third one,
is completely empty.
So?
So a veteran of
the road like Ravenica
would never carry more
than she had to.
And given that she probably
packed in the morning
and unpacked every
single night...
You're saying that
someone here took it.
Autolycus could have
taken that, too!
- Of course, I could have.
- No, it's not his style.
Whoever did this, was sloppy.
- And dumb.
- And they repacked in a hurry.
You can tell all that
by just looking?
Well, think about it.
Ravenica's maps were all squished up
on the bottom with her fruit.
Whereas heavier, less necessary
items were on top.
Maybe she liked her pears bruised.
She's your mother.
Yeah, well... Mom, I can tell you
one thing she didn't like for sure...
and that's lavendar perfume.
No bounty hunter worth her salt
would wear perfume of any kind.
They'd smell her before she
got close enough to pounce.
Smells lavendery, all right.
That's impossible, Xena.
The only one who wears lavender
perfume here would be...
- Me?
- Oh, wait a minute, now.
Sure, sure, it looks bad.
Lila in the bedroom with a Kn*fe...
- But as obvious as that may seem...
- Obvious?
Joxer, these things
always smell of...
Please, I'm tryin' to
help you out, here.
Now, look.
Lila couldn't have k*lled Ravenica.
Why, at the time of the m*rder,
her whereabouts were completely,
unequivocally,
and without a doubt unknown.
Which is not to say she was
anywhere near the bedroom
at the time of the m*rder.
So...
Look, look, look.
Ok.
I... I admit that, when I saw Ravenica
with her back to the corner
and her eyes on the door,
I did think it was odd.
But I never touched her things,
no matter how they smell.
You see, Xena?
You can't suspect Lila.
Until I find out exactly who did it,
I suspect everyone.
Come on, Gabrielle,
I need your help.
Autolycus, yours too.
Joxer...
Don't need your help.
I'll just keep an eye on these.
Thank you.
It's ridiculous!
It's our family we're talking about.
Our friends.
None of them would commit
cold-blooded m*rder.
Well, much as this
scares me to say this,
I think she's right
this time, Xena.
Oh, you do?
Look at that.
Now, that is so odd.
Looks like kindling.
It is kindling.
But do either of you see
a woodpile in this room?
No. A fireplace? No.
A stove? No.
Do you know what that means?
- No.
- Me neither.
There are three candles
on the floor...
and two more up here,
but there was only space for four.
So where did the fifth
candle come from?
There's no way anyone
came through here.
How about the door?
Locked as well, from the inside.
And who discovered that?
Someone with motive
enough for m*rder?
Someone who's trying to confuse us?
Someone who's looking
to b*at this rap
the best he can
no matter what the cost.
I did it.
Boy... Whatever Mom's
been putting in her grub
didn't agree with her.
Check it out.
Look at this rash.
Is that blood?
No, it's ink.
There's a large bump
on the skull underneath it?
How did that get there?
Well, whoever did it
didn't force their way in
because there are no
pick marks on the lock.
And the hinges have
dust all over them.
So the real question here is...
Who has the key?
That would be me.
I found it when I broke in!
No, the real question is...
Who locked the door
from the inside?
Was it Ravenica... or the m*rder*r?
I'll get back to you.
You know,
if she were short enough...
she could have been stabbed
through the keyhole.
Excellent deduction, Gabrielle.
But I think the Kn*fe is the key.
I still say it was Minya
in the bedroom with the Kn*fe!
Will you can it?
It's not some sort
of game, you know.
She's right.
Discord has long ears.
She could show up at any time.
That's exactly my point!
You keep talking about her ears
like that, and she will show up!
- She didn't mean it literally.
- Oh, yeah?
- You big, dumb moron!
- All right!
All right.
Which of you owns this?
I should tell you.
It's a little-known fact
that every sheath bears the grooves
left by the blade it holds.
And since no two blades are alike...
this Kn*fe can identify its owner.
Ok!
It's mine, all right?
- The Kn*fe's mine.
- See? I told you!
It was her in the bedroom
with the Kn*fe the whole time!
- It was not!
- It was.
Minya, you might have
noticed that your Kn*fe
was sticking out of her chest.
- In her heart?
- No, her chest.
About half a hand below her heart,
but still it was enough to k*ll her...
if she hadn't already been dead.
You're saying the
Kn*fe didn't k*ll her?
That's right.
Well, that's just perfect.
Instead of wrapping everything up,
you're just spinning even more
yarn to make things worse.
No, she isn't.
Because I k*lled Ravenica.
What are you saying?
You can't have k*lled her.
- You weren't even here!
- I know.
But if it wasn't the Kn*fe,
it had to be me.
You see, I ran into
Ravenica two days ago.
I heard she was hot on your trail,
so I decided to slow her down a bit.
I thought I could get
here first and warn you.
So I put Joxer's gravy recipe
in her water bag.
That's inhuman!
It was only enough to give her
the trots for a couple of days,
not enough to k*ll her.
Unless she was allergic to it.
And with the rash
on the back of her neck,
she had to be,
which means...
I am the k*ller.
No!
It was my recipe that did it.
Take me.
No one's going anywhere.
At least not just yet.
Look, this is as full as
the day she filled it.
Check it out.
- That's my recipe.
- Ravenica never touched it.
She probably conserved supplies
and drank rainwater.
Which means that Gabrielle
never k*lled anyone.
Look, Xena, I'm tired
of being jerked around.
You gave me till sunrise
to jerk you around.
I lied.
Time flies when I'm having fun.
All right, that's enough.
That's enough!
Shut up!
Ok.
We don't have very much time...
which means I'm gonna want
some straight answers.
- Right.
- Starting with you!
Me?
What have I got to hide?
Nothing but this.
You want it?
Xena!
Give it!
Now, this has been missing
from Ravenica's things
since we first unpacked them.
I wouldn't mind betting that
that third bounty scroll
is somewhere in your bedroom.
Correctamundo?
Where do you think
you're goin', k*ller?
Ok, ok!
It all started when
I got a note...
from Lila.
It was a love note...
doused with lavender.
Of course, I was flattered.
Who wouldn't be?
Lila's terrific!
But I'm already in love with Ga...
with gallivanting around,
fighting for peace and justice.
So, naturally I decided
to let her down
- with a little note of my own.
- I'm sure she was crushed.
I... did borrow little bits and pieces
from Gabrielle's scrolls...
Do you have one of my scrolls?
- Well...
- Go on with your story, Joxer.
Just a minute!
Some people, boy, I tell you,
they'll never wait.
They'll just rip...
Well, if it isn't
the famous assassin...
Goin' a little soft,
aren't you, Jett?
You see? She had mistaken me
for my villainous twin brother.
Happens all the time.
- Ya got the wrong g...!
- Can it.
I've got bigger fish on the line.
But I'm warning you, Jett...
Get in my way...
this won't be the only
thing I rip in two.
Lavender?
You are getting soft.
How do you like that?
So that's what k*ller her!
It was Joxer, in his bedroom...
with an inkwell.
Hey, when I left her,
she was stained but standing.
It was only later I went
back to that room
to get that little
piece 'a scroll.
Stealthy as a jungle cat,
I crept around the room
searching everywhere.
Sure, my brother Jett's
a coldhearted, merciless k*ller,
but family's family, right?
You sure you didn't
k*ll her by accident?
You know, death by blunder?
By lethal clumsiness?
Positive! And you oughtta know that
better than anyone, Autolycus!
What do you mean, Joxer?
Only that I wasn't the last person
to see Ravenica alive.
You mean you saw
her with Autolycus?
Well...
Not exactly.
Ravenica, wait. Slow down.
Please, just listen to me.
Why? You've got nothing
to say I want to hear.
No, please, don't be like this.
How should I be
after what you did?
Good horsey.
Quiet, horsey.
Oh, he's hearing things.
Come on...
Are you gonna believe this
blowhard or me, huh?
Oh, all right.
I admit that I knew her.
We even did a few jobs
together a while back.
But then, all of a sudden,
she starts to collect
bounties on guys like me.
So, I figure, well, if I just rob
from her, it isn't really stealing.
It's more like payback.
The trouble is, Ravenica
didn't share my point of view.
Oh, come on, Ravenica...
You know I'd never lie to you.
You saying you didn't steal
my diamonds last night?
If I had, would I be right here
at the very next tavern down the road?
No. I'd be pawning them
in Athens by now.
Then why are you here?
I think we both know
the answer to that.
Wait, wait, wait,
wait, wait, wait.
That's not what I heard.
Oh, come on, Ravenica...
You know I'd never lie to you.
You saying you didn't steal
my diamonds last night?
If I had, would I be right here
at the very next tavern down the road?
No. I'd be pawning them
in Athens by now.
Then why are you here?
Because I know
what you've become.
And if you think I'm gonna
let you cash in on Xena...
think again.
You did that for me?
Yeah, ok. I admit it.
But I...
Well, it's about time.
Ok, tall, dark and deadly.
Let's go.
- Wait, Discord. Wait.
- What?!
He didn't say that he k*lled her.
He only said that he warned her.
k*lled her! Warned her!
Who cares?
Now, move!
Before I make a mortal shish kebab.
Ok.
I just thought that maybe Ares
wouldn't be that happy
if he knew that you deliberately let
someone escape retribution.
Fine.
You wanna play rough?
I love rough.
So... Here's the deal...
You either hand me the k*ller
on my next trip or...
I'll take 'em all. Your friends...
Your family... Everyone.
That way, I know
the k*ller won't escape me...
because none of you will.
All of us?
That's what she said.
We're finished.
Not if you come clean
and tell me everything.
For instance, where were
you two during all of this?
That's easy.
They were at the table talking.
I could see them both
from the kitchen door.
I know that you might have seen
them start a conversation, Mom,
but I'm sure at some point it turned
into a monologue, right?
Well, we were just
tryin' to protect you.
That's right.
When Minya told me
who Ravenica was,
I was only too glad to help.
Help do what?
Well, it was my idea.
You think this storm is rough, huh?
You should 'a seen the one that struck
my village about four years ago.
Bad?
With a capital "Beta".
Yeah, the wind was
blowin' so hard that
everything that wasn't tied down
got blown away, you know?
Like hayracks and livestock,
small animals...
And rain?
You know... One guy, he thought
it was the end of the world.
He wanted to build a big boat
and sell double occupancies.
Yeah, I mean...
like it was wet.
Minya and I figured,
without her horse,
Ravenica wouldn't be
able to follow you.
- Looking to steal my horse?
- No.
I... was...
just tryin' to calm them.
The storm's got 'em scared.
Looks to me... like the only one
who's scared out here is you.
Who is that in my room?
Lila couldn't 'a used
my Kn*fe on her.
She hadn't got back from the stables
when Ravenica was k*lled.
So the figure I saw
in the storm was Lila.
And the light that Ravenica
saw in her room was Minya.
That's where the fifth
candle came from.
When Ravenica
headed out to the stables,
I knew Lila was in trouble.
So I had to do something
to draw her back inside.
I figured if she heard
some men talking in her room
that'd get her out of the stables
and I could get away
before she came back.
Unfortunately...
Everyone is so considerate here...
Taking care of my horse... And...
And you're what?
Making up my room?
I don't know what came over me,
but seeing her standing there,
knowin' who she was,
what she does, I don't know,
I guess...
I just saw red.
Catch!
And I high-tailed it out of there.
I thought she'd follow me and like,
have it out, but she didn't.
That's right, because she couldn't!
And it was Minya in
the bedroom with the...
- Quiet.
- All right! All right!
Now we've assembled the facts
and there's one thing we know
beyond the shadow of a doubt
to be the indisputable truth.
Ravenica is dead,
and someone here k*lled her.
Tell me somethin' I don't know.
I could ask you
the same thing, Autolycus.
Tell us what we don't know
about you and Ravenica.
- Yeah.
- Yeah, Autolycus.
But, Gabrielle, surely,
he's already explained that.
I think it was slightly vague.
Like how you explained why
you weren't in your room...
when Xena checked.
Gabrielle, this is Xena's mom.
I know that, Lila,
and you're my sister.
But if there's blood
on your hands...
Blood! Blood! Blood!
Oh, no. It's just ink.
But blood is thicker
than ink, Joxer.
And the same blood flows in you that
flows in your deadly brother, Jett.
You know what they say...
Blood will out.
But none of this explains why
your Kn*fe was in Ravenica's chest.
Yeah, that's a good point.
What about that Kn*fe, huh?
Ok, ok, all right!
Those are the facts!
It doesn't take an oracle
to see our outcome.
Right. We're all gonna die.
Well, Xena, time's up and...
I don't see you
handing me the k*ller.
So, boys...
Let's get out of the way!
In the other room! Go!
How's that feel, pretty boy?
Come on!
No!
Aw... You might be good in bed,
but you're hopeless in a fight.
Wait! Stop!
Stop the fight.
I know who did it.
If this is a stall to try and buy
your loser friends more time...
No stall.
And if you're not satisfied,
you can take me.
That'll score you points
with Ares, don't you think?
- Show me.
- Ok.
Xena, will this do?
Yeah, that's perfect.
You see, Lila and Minya were
guilty of thinking like Ravenica.
Look at the bright side, horse...
No more hauling Xena around.
But Argo has an instinct for danger.
And she knew that something was up.
Ya see, the door was locked from
the inside by Ravenica with a key.
But the window...
The window locks itself.
That still doesn't explain
the Kn*fe in her chest.
The Kn*fe probably didn't go in
much past the breastplate.
But it was in up to its hilt.
Not at first.
A horse kick to the chest,
a hit to her head
and a Kn*fe stuck in her chest.
But Ravenica was
still alive until...
Oh, please.... What do you think?
I'm some kind 'a moron?
The first hit from
the chandelier knocked
her down and the
second one k*lled her.
- She fell forward...
- Right onto the Kn*fe.
You're telling me
your horse k*lled her?
In self-defense.
You gotta admit...
It fits like a trojan glove.
But I can't take back a horse!
I don't do animals!
That's not what I heard.
This job sucks!
- Is this what you're looking for?
- Yeah!
Thanks! I owe you.
Are you kidding?
If you hadn't distracted Ravenica
who knows what she
would have done to me?
You're a real hero, Minya.
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
I guess I am.
Gaby...
Sophocles said that plagiarism
is the sincerest form of flattery.
It doesn't excuse the fact
you took my scroll.
Ok.
You were willing to take
my place with Discord.
I can forgive you.
She likes me.
Here, let me give you a hand.
These diamonds must
be yours, Autolycus.
No.
No, mine are all here.
Must be your lucky day, Cyrene.
Must be.
Mom...
I'm really, really sorry
that I suspected you.
I'm not.
'Cause it's true.
I would k*ll to protect you, Xena.
Any mother who loves
her child would.
I'm just... glad I don't have to.
You know...
When it's all said and done,
it seems everyone behaved like
they did for one reason.
Love.
For you... For family...
I guess you're right.
So, do you still think
they're capable of anything?
Absolutely anything.
Now!
Happy birthday!
♪ For she's another year older ♪
♪ And that's a crying shame ♪
♪ For she'll never get any younger ♪
♪ And that's a crying shame ♪