03x05 - Tiger

[bunniefuu]

When you three go on
your walk this afternoon,

try and really make it
to the park this time.

It's for her own good.

[DOROTHY] You're safe, Leanne.

Because if anyone comes for you,

they're gonna have to
come through us first.

Leanne.

This is my family, and I will not let
you take me away from them. [GASPS]

What the hell's going on in here?

I don't know. She just
freaked out on me.

Show me your back!

- Leanne.
- [SEAN] What's happening?

Leanne's threatening Mr. Smiley
with the kitchen shears.

Stay away from me.

I just want to talk to you.

[LEANNE CRIES]

[TRUCK REVERSE BEEPING]

[SIGHS]

[CHATTERING]

[SNIFFS]

[DOROTHY] Oh, good morning!

Look at you. Somebody
found my dungarees.

- Is that okay?
- Yeah.

I told you, anything in
the attic is fair game.

Does this mean what I think it does?
You're gonna come today?

[CHUCKLES] Aw, did you hear?

- Leanne's gonna come to the festival.
- [SEAN] Wow, that's good, Leanne.

It's a big step, being
around so many new people.

Think I'm ready.

Well, it's a gorgeous day,
and we'll all be right there with you.

- Look at that. Termite droppings.
- Looks like black pepper.

No, it's not. I looked up pictures.
It's termite droppings.

It's in the spice rack. We need
an exterminator to blast it out.

Sean's right.

I recognize it. It's called frass.

Well, the house has been here
for years, as we all know.

So I don't think it's
going to fall apart today.

Can I show you something, please?
You're gonna be right here, -B.

By the bounce house?

Space is tight.

I'll have a thousand kids
screaming in my ear all day.

Right. It's a block party, darling.

[DOOR OPENS]

What's with all the shitty food trucks?

- [DOROTHY SHOUTS]
- Whoa, whoa, whoa. Whoa. [GRUNTS]

- What the f*ck is that?
- Liquid nitrogen.

[SCOFFS] Of course, a dangerous
chemical in the kitchen. My apologies.

[DOROTHY] Can we get
that out of here, please?

Sean has a big surprise planned
for the block party.

Sounds ominous.

[DOROTHY SIGHS] Where's Veera?

She couldn't make it.
Some last-minute work thing.

- Aw.
- So, I figured I'd come by.

Get my steps in. Support my big sis.

You're here for the
funnel cakes, aren't you?

[CHUCKLING] You used to love those.

- Maybe a little too much.
- Get off.

Have you seen the park?

- Them?
- [SIGHS] What, the homeless kids?

- There's more of them now. A lot more.
- They're just passing through.

Yeah, and you're giving them
gourmet handouts!

This is how it starts. Before you know

it, you'll be up to
your ass in squatters,

and the house will be worth
pennies on the dollar.

Okay, I don't wanna think about
any of this today.

- [JULIAN] Is that what you're wearing?
- Julian!

- [DOROTHY SIGHS]
- How are you feeling?

Fine. I just really want everything
to go smoothly.

There are so many moving parts
in an event like this.

[GRUNTS] People just wanna get outside.

They're not expecting
f*cking Disneyland.

Pfft. Shall we?

Leanne? You coming?

[JERICHO CRIES]

[PEOPLE CHATTERING]

[CARNIVALESQUE MUSIC PLAYING]

Leanne! Hey, come here!

[CHUCKLES] Here.

Oh! Excuse me.

- Voilà. We have ice cream.
- [CROWD APPLAUDS]

Ah... My husband. He's such a showman.

I'm gonna serve it
over a miniature French toast

with a dehydrated maple and pancetta.

Chef Tobe is gonna put it in your mouth.

Come on, you two. I'll show you around.

[SEAN] If we can form an orderly line?

So, here's the a*-throwing booth.

It's a tad expensive,
but people go crazy for it.

[BALLOON POPS]

And this is where
we're doing folk dance.

Oh, here's the barbecue tent. They
come all the way from Bucks County.

It's supposed to be
phenomenal. You have to try it.

Oh, and we've...

Um...

What's the matter?

[DOROTHY] Those bastards.

They sent her?

Dorothy, I'm sure it's nothing personal.

Of course it's personal.

I pitched this block party
story to them weeks ago.

This network thinks they can ice me
out, I'm just gonna walk away quietly.

You know what?

Here.

Come to mama. Come on.

- Are you sure?
- Yes.

Little Jericho's about to
have his big television debut.

- Dottie, what the hell are you doing?
- I am a working mother in television.

I fought tooth and nail
to be where I am today.

And I will not be
replaced by this amateur.

f*ck 'em. I'm going on camera.

- Please think this through.
- I have.

Now is the time to seize the
narrative, not get steamrolled by it.

And what about him? And
what if Aunt May sees?

That woman watches the
news like a g*dd*mn hawk.

I will not pretend my
son does not exist.

- Ahem.
- Dorothy, hey!

Isabelle, darling.

Oh! You look so fun.

Well, official organizer apparel.

Speaking of which, I figured you'd wanna

have a statement from
me for your segment.

Uh-huh, uh-huh.

Um...

I mean... Yeah, of course.

We're just doing a
little feature, but...

Great.

Carlos, I think we should
frame up in the middle

so we have more visual interest.

Okay, we're gonna have to
get some B-roll of Sean.

Puppet show starts in five,
which I think would be great.

I'm gonna go talk to
Sean. You all right here?

- [BELL RINGING]
- Yeah.

[SEAN] You are gonna love this.

- Thanks, man.
- [SEAN] Sure.

- Hey.
- How's Leanne?

- With Dorothy.
- Dude, there's a line.

And I'm not in it, assh*le.

She went on camera. I
couldn't talk her out of it.

That's good, right?

Good? Have you seen the f*cking memes?

- What, the cow thing?
- Yeah. Moo.

I'm sure Dorothy can handle
a couple of Twitter trolls.

No, you're not hearing me.

She took Jericho and thrust
him in front of a camera.

You need to back off.

What?

That whole stunt you
pulled with the DNA.

- Mmm.
- You nearly jeopardized everything.

- I'm just trying to fix this.
- Julian.

If you wanna help, go
have fun. Enjoy the day.

Dorothy put a lot of effort into it.

[SIGHS] How is it so g*dd*mn hot?

Have some ice cream.

Sean.

[CHUCKLES] Nancy. Wow, hey!

You're really holding
out on us at coffee hour.

- [CHUCKLES]
- Uh, where's Mrs. Turner?

She's really busy. She kinda headed
up this whole thing. So, uh...

- Of course. Busy woman.
- Yeah.

- I would love to introduce you soon.
- I'd really like that.

- You want a portion?
- Oh, uh... No dairy for me.

- Right.
- [NANCY CHUCKLES]

I was just in the area.
Figured I'd say hello.

Okay, great to see you again.

[NANCY] See you next week.

Chef, the gloves.

I knew it.

- She's a friend of mine.
- [CHUCKLES] That was no friend.

"Coffee hour?"

What is it, grief counseling?
Some kind of group session?

- Is it AA?
- No, it's nothing like that.

She's a... a minister.

Oh, God. How long?

Couple months. But it's
helping me. It's really good.

Oh, I'm so happy for you.

- Does Dorothy know?
- Not yet.

Yeah, best keep it that way.

Well, this explains a lot. I liked
you better when you were godless.

Yeah, I liked you better
when you were a drunk.

We're out here at Spring on Spruce with

an amazing acrobatics troop I found.

The Gods Punish Wildly
are Philly natives.

Are you okay?

They bothering you, honey?

It's that feed-the-homeless chef.

I mean, [SCOFFS] I think
what he does is wonderful,

but at a certain point,
you need to draw the line.

This is a family event.

Do you think you could
ask them to leave?

I can do a whole lot better than that.

Yo, did you guys pay for this?

You know you have to pay to
participate in the block party.

- [CHILD SCREAMS]
- You pay? No?

Let's go. You need to go. Now.

You have to go all the way to the
end of the block to exit the area.

Block party. You have
to pay to participate.

Come on. Let's go.

[WOMEN CHATTERING]

Thank you. You are good to go.

What would you like?

A tiger, please.

You got it.

Go ahead and take a seat.

[HIP WOMAN] I love your overalls.

Thank you.

My mother gave them to
me. They used to be hers.

Well, that's sweet.

The only thing my mom gave
me was her crippling anxiety.

Just keep your face
relaxed. That's good.

- [CELL PHONE BEEPS]
- Oh.

Do you still speak to your mother?

- [RUSTLING]
- [SIGHS]

Sorry.

I just had to step away for a
second. What were you saying?

- Nothing.
- Well, just keep your face relaxed.

We're almost done.

I'm sorry. Excuse me.

[LAUGHING, CHATTERING]

[DOROTHY] Zoe!

[UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING]

[WOMAN] People only wanna present
the good things in their lives.

Don't get me wrong, she's been a
godsend for this year's block party.

[ISABELLE] The good things?

[WOMAN] She and her husband look
like such a happy couple, but...

[SCOFFS] I shouldn't blab.

[ISABELLE] Come on. I won't tell.

All I'll say is I saw an ambulance
outside their house once.

And police cars at least twice.

- You do the math.
- Excuse me.

It's not very nice to talk
about people behind their backs.

It's also not nice to eavesdrop.

- So good seeing you.
- Good to see you.

[WOMAN] Bye.

Oh! You're the nanny.

- You were at Jericho's baptism.
- Yes.

What was your name again?

Leanne.

- Right. Um, Grayman? Gray...
- Grayson.

[SIGHS] God, she would not shut up.

[CHUCKLES] You know?

I'm glad you said something.

Dorothy and I are old friends.

I wouldn't have gotten my first
camera test if it wasn't for her.

If you and Dorothy
are such good friends,

then why do you try so hard to hurt her?

I don't.

I'm not sure why you'd say
that. I'm just doing my job.

Okay.

[DOROTHY] All right, everybody.
We have our last contestant.

- What's your name?
- Kaylee.

- Kaylee, how old are you?
- Eight.

All right, everybody,
give it up for Kaylee.

- [CHEERING]
- [UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING]

- [CHUCKLING] Whoo!
- [CROWD CHEERS]

[DOROTHY] Go, Kaylee. Go, Kaylee.
Go, Kaylee. [CHUCKLES]

- [TOBE] Hey.
- Hey.

Whoa. [CHUCKLES] You're half a tiger.

N... No, I like it. I like it.

[BELL RINGING]

- I thought you were working.
- Oh.

Uh, we ran out of ice cream,
so I guess I'm off the clock.

[DOROTHY] Kaylee!

You wanna do something?

What did you have in mind?

Yes!

Yes. Yes.

Mrs. Turner?

- Huh?
- I'm so sorry to interrupt.

- I, uh... I recognize you from the TV.
- Oh.

I'm Nancy from Liberty Unitarian.

I'm Sean's minister. He
told me so much about you.

Hi, Jericho. It's good to see you.

I'm sorry. Sean has been
attending your services?

It's so lovely to see someone
reconnect with their faith.

I don't mean to impose,

but it would be so lovely to see you
at the church one day, Mrs. Turner.

- Oh.
- We don't bite.

Uh, Dorothy.

I'm sorry. W... What did you
say your name was, Minister...

- Oh, it's just Nancy.
- Nancy.

Pleasure to meet you.

[TOBE] Hey. Not bad.

How's Sylvia?

Um...

I'm not sure.

She kinda ghosted me
after what happened.

- "Ghosted"?
- Stopped talking to me.

It wasn't your fault.

[SCOFFS] I mean, I brought
her into that situation, so...

But honestly, I'm kinda relieved.

I mean, I knew she wasn't right
for me from the beginning.

The whole thing was pretty
toxic, so, you know.

Just glad it's over.

Mmm.

[TOBE] Whoa! Nice!

Nice job. Which one do you want?

Um...

The llama.

- Thank you.
- Thanks, man.

Here.

No, no, no. That's yours. You keep it.

No, I want you to have it.

Well. How about I just
hold on to it for you?

- Okay.
- Okay.

Listen, I think we should definitely go

to the bounce castle
if that's up for you.

- Okay.
- You up for it?

- Yeah, sure.
- Yeah?

- Let's do the bounce castle.
- Have you ever been there?

- No.
- You've never been in a b...

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

[TOBE] What are you doing in the corner?

It's not scary. I promise.

- [CHUCKLES]
- It's really fun.

- Yeah?
- [BREATHLESSLY] Yeah.

[CHUCKLES]

[SQUEALS]

Mm-hmm. I knew it. It's a shark.

Those are the teeth, and the whole
thing's gonna be the jaw of a shark.

- You're not even close.
- What?

- Not even in the same world.
- But she used a gray. Elephant?

Do you feel the warmth of the sunshine

shining over your cards you
have on the table today?

Three minutes too long.

Just three minutes, and
of course it explodes.

And it... it's all pink and everywhere.

And Sean makes me stick my head in
the oven and clean the entire thing.

He can't see a speck of
pink or if not, I'm fired.

[CELL PHONE RINGING]

- Hello?
- [WOMAN] Hey, Sean.

It's, uh, Taylor from Gourmet Gauntlet.

Remember me? I know it's been a minute.

Look, I know you're super busy,
but I wanted to let you know

we're putting together
a new spin-off series.

It's on the east coast,

and we're interested in
having you as the lead.

We're coming to you fir...

[DOOR CLOSES]

[DISTANT FOLK MUSIC PLAYING]

Do you wanna dance?

Really?

Yeah.

[FOLK MUSIC PLAYING]

[LEANNE LAUGHS]

Whoa. Oh, look, he's
switching up the b*at.

Whoa. Whoa. Oh.

- Oh, there you are.
- Oh.

I, uh, met your minister.

Have you been taking Jericho to church?

Yes.

You conveniently forgot to tell me.

I thought you'd think it was stupid.

Screw you.

Well, am I wrong?

Of course I think it's stupid.

What are you, a religious person now?

Since I've been going to church,
things have been looking up.

Well, that's great for you.

But you've been whisking
our son away to a freak show

and forcing the Lord down his throat.

- You had him baptized.
- [SCOFFS] That was different.

How is that different?

It was a gesture.

Well, to you maybe.

Keep all the secrets you
want. I don't really care.

But when it comes to raising
our son, I need transparency.

I think the church would
be good in Jericho's life.

You know, give him structure.

It's important to me.

Well, that's a start.

It's not like you think. You know, it's
not all Latin and incense and sh*t.

It's regular people,
talking like me and you.

You know, I think you'd like Nancy,
if you give her a real, honest sh*t.

Good.

Then our dinner won't be awkward at all.

- Your dinner?
- Yeah. I invited her to dinner.

- [SEAN] Well, should we discuss it?
- Since when do we discuss things?

[FOLK MUSIC CONTINUES]

[LEANNE LAUGHING]

[VENDOR] Thank you so much.

[PEOPLE CHEERING]

- [LAUGHING] I'm hungry.
- What?

Hungry! Food!

Excuse me?

Hi.

- Are you guys still open?
- [Kn*fe SCRAPING]

[POT BOILING]

Excuse me.

[LEANNE BREATHES HEAVILY]

[SHOUTING]

[MAN SCREAMS]

[PANTING]

Tobe. Tobe!

Dorothy!

- [KEYS RATTLE]
- [PANTING]

- [LEANNE GROANS]
- [GRUNTS]

[SCREAMS]

[PANTING]

[PANTING]

[GROANS, PANTS]

[DOOR CLOSES]

[DOOR CLOSES]

- [DOROTHY] You good?
- [SEAN] Yeah. Yeah. I got it.

[DOROTHY] Leanne?

[SEAN] I bet she's upstairs.

There you are.

Thank God. We were worried about you.

Tobe said you ran off on him.

I was feeling a little tired.

Oh, of course you are.

[CHUCKLING] Look at you.

You must be exhausted.

This was a big step for you.
Being around so many strangers.

And we're both very proud
of you. Aren't we, Sean?

What do I do with this?

I won that for Jericho.

Ah, then I'll put it in the nursery.

- Are you okay?
- Yes.

Did something happen? With Tobe?

No, nothing happened. I had fun.

I'm glad.

Well, I'm going to go to bed now.

Do you want me to put Jericho down?

Oh, no. I think I'll keep
him up a little while longer.

[CHUCKLES]

You go on up.

Mmm.

- [JERICHO BABBLES]
- [SIGHS]

[BREATHES HEAVILY]

[SIGHS, CLICKS TONGUE]

[DOOR CLOSES, LOCK CLICKS]

[SCREAMS]

[SCREAMING]