04x15 - No No, We Won't Go

[bunniefuu]

Occupant, occupant, occupant.

Here's a strange one.
It actually has my name on it.

Hi, Henry.

Hello, sweetheart.

- How did you find school today?
- Same as always.

Two blocks down Michigan
and left at the light.

Very funny.

I was referring
to your history exam.

It's history, Henry.
It's old.

You know,
the same usual questions

like who is Benedict Arnold?

And what was your usual answer?

He was the guy who invented
the Eggs Benedict.

I'm on a roll, an egg roll.

Oh.

Oh, times like these,

I hate being
the building manager.

Uh-oh. Whose rent do you have
to raise this time?

Betty's.
Her lease is up

and the owner wants
a % rent increase.

Sixty percent?

How am I ever gonna tell her?

- Hi, neighbors.
- Hi.

I happened to be
in the laundry room,

so I thought I'd fold yours,
too, and bring it up.

Why, Betty dear.

This is wonderful of you.

You didn't have to do that.

Henry, it was only
a fluff and fold.

I didn't kick-start your heart.

No, really. Thank you.

Both of you.

Well, all I did
was fold Punky's socks.

Which was easy because
they don't have to match.

Nevertheless, I am
very grateful.

Very, very, very, very grateful.

Has he been hittin'
the cookin' sherry?

Henry has something
to tell you guys.

I got this letter today
from the owner of the building.

This is rather difficult.

- Henry, I already know.
- You do?

Sure, my lease is up
and I'll have to sign a new one.

Let's have it.

You may not want to sign it.

- They're raising your rent.
- Oh, I figured that.

I guess I can squeeze out
another %.

Betty, it's more than %.

Twenty percent?

Th... thirty percent?

Uh-oh. I feel
oh, my Lord coming on.

Betty, it's %.

Oh, my Lord.

I'm sorry, Betty.

I can't afford a % increase.

Cherie and I'll have to find
somewhere else to live.

No, you can't move.

Henry, can't you just call
Mr. Barconi and tell him

that Mrs. Johnson and Cherie
can't pay that much?

Mr. Barconi doesn't own
the building anymore.

He sold it to the CIA.

CIA?

Conglomerate Investors Assets.

The phone is answered
by a machine

and the address
is a post office box.

What am I goin' to do?

Let me do some investigating.

Maybe there's a human being
behind that post office box.

Thanks, Henry.

You're a decent, caring,
sensitive person.

Oh, I try to be.

Come on, Cherie.

Let's change the lock
on our door

in case Henry tries to evict us.

Grandma, are you sure
there's no way

we could squeeze some extra
money out of our budget?

We could sublet our apartment
to another family,

but you and I would have
to live in the bathroom.

I don't mind that.
I could brush my teeth in bed.

Guys, I have $ here

I was saving
for a satellite dish.

But you're welcome to have it.

What the heck?
I don't need cable.

Thanks, honey,
but keep your money.

I need a lot more than $ .

Hello, people. Margaux's here.

Hold the applause.

- Hi, Margaux.
- Hi.

Why so glum?

Cherie and her grandma
might have to move out

of the building.

Congratulations!

Well, don't you wanna live
someplace better?

I'm afraid if we have to move,
it'll be someplace worse.

Worse than this?

Is that possible?

Well, it took all afternoon,

but I finally found out who this
building really belongs to.

Good. Who are
the blood-suckin' thieves?

Uh, I'll tell you later.

Tell me now.

Alright, if you insist.

Conglomerate Investors
Associates

and this building

are owned
by Benjamin J. Kramer.

Margaux's father?

Small world, isn't it?

- This is terrible.
- It sure is.

I had no idea
daddy was a slumlord.

Margaux, you have to talk
to your father about this.

Now wait a minute. I can't
interfere in daddy's business.

But you have to do something.

Alright.

I'll go shopping.

I'll speak to my father
about this.

But if you ask me, this whole
situation is your own fault.

- Our fault?
- Yes.

If you were smart,
you would've been born wealthy.

Hello, daddy.

Sweetheart,
what a nice surprise.

Ah!

Princess, I didn't know
you had a new driver.

No, daddy.
This is Mr. Warnimont.

He wants to talk to you.
He's Punky's father.

Punky?

You know, mismatched shoes,

ridiculous clothes,
less fortunate than us.

Everyone's less fortunate
than us, dear.

- Hi there.
- Hello.

Have you checked
the market today, daddy?

Ding Dong Bell And Alarm
is up three and a quarter.

Well, I'm very proud of you.

You know, she doubled
her play money on a long sh*t.

Oh, play money.
That's cute.

What do you give her?
Monopoly money?

Oh, it's real money. Daddy just
lets me play with it.

Yes, sir,
under these blond curls,

is the brain of a robber baron.

Daddy, stop.

I'm already impossible
to live with.

I have to dash. I have shopping
before I meet mommy.

Ah. Need some cash, dear?

Tempting, daddy,
but plastic's so much cleaner.

- Ciao.
- Bye-bye, dear.

- Bye, Mr. Warnimont.
- Bye.

- Love that little girl.
- Huh?

Unfortunately, I only get
about an hour a month with her,

but it's quality time.

Nice collection
of antique cash registers.

Oh, thanks.
I love the sound they make.

Now then, what can I do for you?

Mr. Kramer, I manage your
building at Pierce Street.

One of the tenants,
Mrs. Johnson,

is scheduled
for a % rent increase.

Unfortunately, there's just
no way she can pay that much.

Really?
Well, why don't I check that?

Let's see.
Betty Johnson?

Apartment C.

Employment, nurse.

Well, at her salary,
my computer says

she can afford a % increase

plus four new dresses a year

and two meals every day.

And at her weight,
that's more than enough food.

- It's been a pleasure.
- Mr. Kramer, oh.

Isn't it possible for you
to cut down this,

uh, increase, uh,
so it's a little less, uh...

- Gouging?
- Uh-huh.

I'm sorry,
I'd really like to help you out.

I really would, but my board
would just never approve.

Uh, Mr. Kramer,
you don't understand.

No, you don't understand.

My computer tells me that my
rents were % below the market.

Now you're the manager,
go manage.

And if she can't pay
the increase, get rid of her.

I most certainly will not.

Well, if you'd like
to continue living

in your apartment
at a reduced rent,

you certainly will.

If you throw Betty Johnson out,
you can throw me out as well!

Well, that's the first sensible
thing you've said.

Warnimont, you're out.

You know, Punky,
that old saying's true.

Misery really does love company.

I thought we were gonna be
thrown out on the streets

all by ourselves,

but you're gonna be
thrown out with us.

- Yeah.
- I feel a lot better.

Great.
Glad to be of service.

Now keep looking
for apartments to rent.

Oh, here's the house to rent.
Only $ a month.

- Wow, what does it say?
- Okay.

"Four bedrooms, three baths."

That's great.

"Put on a roof
and move right in."

I'll get it.

Hi.
May I come in?

Why not?
It's your building.

No, it isn't.

It's daddy's.

Cherie, I tried to get him
to change his mind

about raising your rent,

but all I got from him was

"Friendship and money
don't mix."

That sounds like something
he'd say.

No, he didn't say it.

He has it printed
on his business card.

Well, I just wanted you to know

that I'm on your side

and I'll do anything
I can to help.

Hold it, Margaux.

You'll do anything to help us?

Certainly.

Anything?

Uh-oh.

Well, what did you have in mind?

I think you'd better
sit down for this.

Remember that movie
we saw on social studies?

The one where those college
students were protesting

a nuclear power plant?

Yeah, they chain themselves
to a fence.

What if we do that
in your father's office?

That won't work.

He doesn't have a fence
in his office.

Well, we'll find something else
to chain ourselves to.

How does that keep us
from losing our apartments?

Margaux's dad
won't like the publicity.

It'll be in newspapers
and maybe even on TV.

We'll be on TV?

Your dad will be so embarrassed,
he won't wanna raise the rent.

I don't know.

I don't know either.

I don't wanna embarrass
my own father.

But on the other hand,

television exposure
is important.

- Let's go.
- Yeah!

Oh, no.
I forgot about Gwendolyn.

Gwendolyn?

Yeah, that's my father's
att*ck dog.

Brandon, this is a job for you.

What did he say?

He said, "Hey, baby,
what's your sign?"

She's a Virgo.

He's a Taurus.
That makes 'em very compatible.

It's okay to let Gwendolyn out.

- Where are they going?
- A singles bar. Come on.

Okay, we haven't got
any time to waste.

Let's get these cuffs on.

What are we gonna
chain ourselves to?

How about that cute
little table lamp?

Cherie, they'll just
unscrew the bulb

and take us right off to jail.

Hey, dude, I'm like new
at this protesting stuff, okay?

It's gotta be something
big and heavy.

Something that's
impossible to move.

We should've brought
Nell Carter.

W... what about that safe?

Well, it's not as heavy as Nell,
but it's got her legs.

So what are we gonna do
to pass time?

I don't know about you guys,
but I came prepared.

What have you got in there?

Chips...

sandwiches, cookies, candy,

a Hungry-Man chicken enchilada.

Well, I thought
there might be a microwave.

Oh, wait a minute.
Let's coordinate this.

Right hand eat.

Left hand eat.

If the Olympics
had synchronized eating,

we'd win a gold medal.

What's that?

Oh, no, it's a fire alarm.

There's smoke coming up
past the window.

Oh, no, there must be a fire
in the floor below us.

How do you know
it's right below us?

'Cause my feet are hot.

We gotta get out of here.
Punky, unlock us.

- Right. Where are the keys?
- In my pocket.

Good. Get them.

They're in my jacket pocket.

- No!
- No!

It's no use.
The safe won't budge.

We wouldn't've had this problem
if we would've chained ourselves

to the cute little table lamp.

Listen, Cherie,
let's just call for help.

Can you reach to the phone?

Oh, good news. I can reach it.

Bad news. It's dead.

We're all gonna be dead
if we don't get out of here!

Margaux, calm down.

I don't wanna end up
a crispy critter!

Punky, this is all your fault

and if we weren't gonna die,
I'd k*ll you!

Look, we gotta keep our heads.

The worst thing we could do
in this situation is panic.

- You're right.
- I gotta get out of here!

Hold it. I'm too young
for stretch marks.

Now let's just calm down
and catch our breath.

We... we better hold our breath.

Look!

Oh, no, hit the deck!

What are you doing?

The cleanest air
is at the bottom.

Maybe we should take
turns breathing.

Good idea.
I'll go first.

You guys, it is getting
awfully hot in here.

It sure is.
I'd give anything to cool off.

Isn't this great?

No! This is an $ hairdo!

Punky, what possessed you
to pull such a stupid stunt?

Henry, you always told me
if I had a problem,

I should use Punky power.

Well, you shorted out this time.

That's why for the next month,

you and your Punky power
will be grounded.

But we couldn't let Mr. Kramer
kick us out of our home.

Sweetheart, are you alright?

And what have these lunatics
done to you?

- Now see here, Kramer.
- No, you see here.

I was just at a fancy party

with lots of wonderfully
rich people

and now I'm standing in a swamp
that used to be my office.

The only reason
I'm not having you all arrested

is because my little
daughter's involved.

Daddy, I wanted to be here.
I'm on their side.

No, you're delirious,
my little dove.

You don't know
what you're saying.

Your hair is wet.

I do know what I'm saying.

These are good friends.

And they're more important
than business.

Well, your mommy and I
have friends,

but they have the good taste
not to need us.

These friends do need me
and I wanna help 'em.

I see.

So you, uh, actually like
these people?

Yes.

Well, I've never
denied you anything.

If this, uh, friendship thing
is that important to you...

Then they could stay
in their little apartments?

- Of course.
- Yeah.

What does he want?

He wants to know how much money
you're going to charge us.

Well, I suppose it wouldn't have
to be a % increase.

Uh, maybe %.

Or .

Alright, .

Hold it!
I'm negotiating with a dog.

Would you forget the increase

if I made a sacrifice
for my friends?

A big sacrifice.

Like what?

Like for one full year,

I'll do my own... nails.

You will?

Actually, that'll save you
a lot more

than gouging these poor people.

Yeah, but it won't be
as much fun.

Alright, no rent increase.

- Yeah!
- Thank you, Mr. Kramer.

Thank you, thank you.

Thank you so much.

- Thank you.
- Thanks.