04x17 - Vice Versa

Episode transcripts for the TV show "Punky Brewster". Aired: September 16, 1984 to March 1986.*
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Follows Punky and her dog, Brandon who have been abandoned by her parents.
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04x17 - Vice Versa

Post by bunniefuu »

Rise and shine,
it's daylight in the swamp.

Punky! Punky, turn off
that alarm!

Ah!

Punky, that alarm
would wake King Tut!

Punky, it's time.

- No.
- It's time for school.

No, it isn't.
I'm having a nightmare.

That's because your room looks
like the city dump.

Henry, I'm expressing who I am.

Who are you?
A garbage pail kid?

Lighten up, Henry.
This is my personal space.

When you start paying rent,
it'll be your personal space.

Now get up.
You're gonna be late for school.

Henry, I really don't wanna go
to school today.

Oh, does that mean that you
didn't do your history essay?

Oh, I finished that.

Good. I have a few minutes.

- I'd like to read it.
- It's on the sill.

"Napoleon was a nerd."

That's it?

It says it all.
Don't you think?

You expect me
to take this seriously?

This is totally unacceptable.

Well, it's not due
until tomorrow.

I was just thinking
about our poor teacher.

She has enough to read anyway.

Enough is enough, young lady.

After school,
you do this essay right.

And I want you
to clean your room.

The closet, the sheets,
the window.

I wanna be able to eat
off this floor.

Henry, that's why
we have tables.

Brandon says he eats off
the floor all the time!

Look at all these bills.

How am I ever gonna pay them?

Okay, okay, we'll get started.

. for the phone company.

Hm.

Eleven dollars
for the newspaper.

. for electricity?

You're right.

Come on in.

- Hi.
- Hi, Mr. Warnimont.

- Good morning.
- Good morning.

Is Punky ready for school?

Punky, your friends are here!

So, Mr. Warnimont,
I suppose you've heard

about the party
I'm hosting this weekend.

Punky told me about it.
Sounds like quite a bash.

Yes.

Well, if you'd like to come,

we do need
another parking attendant.

Margaux, you'd have an easier
time getting through life

if you'd sew your lips together.

Henry, I'm getting some coffee.

Did you hear
that there's gonna be

a make-your-own
ice cream sundae buffet

with nuts, strawberries,
chocolate chips...

Hi, guys.

Whipped cream,
M&M's, sprinkles...

Is Cherie still talking
about the ice cream buffet?

Why not? She's the expert.

Coconut and marshmallow.

Cherie.

This party's gonna be
the crowning event

of the adolescent social season.

Everyone who's anyone
will be there.

Oh, Punky and Cherie
are invited too.

I'm sure they're honored.

The indoor and outdoor pools
are heated to perfection.

And daddy's flown in a beach
from the French Riviera.

- And that's not all.
- It's not?

Daddy's hired a live band.

- He did?
- He did?

Freddy Fist
And The Bloody Knuckles!

- Really?
- Wow.

Oh, my Lord.

Gee, I'm sorry
I'm gonna miss that.

Me too.

Well, thanks
for the coffee, Henry.

Come on, girls.
Let's get a move on.

Oh, Punky.

I'm gonna be working late
at the restaurant tonight.

I want you to come home
right after school

and finish that history essay.

And I want you to come home
and clean up your room

before something
starts growing in there.

You wouldn't believe
what Cherie's room looks like.

If it's anything like Punky's,

we're in danger
of being condemned.

Well, let's go.

- Come on, Punky.
- Uh, you go ahead.

I'll be right down.

Henry, I really need to buy
a new outfit for this party.

Do you think you could give me
an advance on my allowance?

Your allowance has already
been advanced through .

But it's important
that I look just right.

Just wear something
you already have.

Henry, Margaux's snobby friends
will be there.

I'll be humiliated.

The answer is no.

We just can't afford it.

Brandon's in the kitchen
right now

trying to figure out how we're
gonna pay this month's bills.

Did Punky come home from school?

What do you mean,
you were napping?

Henry, have the girls
shown up here yet?

No and it's : .

Well, where could they be?

Did you call Margaux's?

Yes, and some mealy-mouthed
butler tells me

that I haven't been cleared
for information.

Oh.

Do you think
we should call the police?

Well, I don't want to overreact.

That's right,
I... I'm sure they're fine.

It's not as if, uh, we should be
scared or worried or...

Hey, g*ng. What's happening?

Where were you?
We've been scared to death.

- No biggie, Henry.
- No biggie?

We just stopped off at the mall
on our way home from school

and lost track of time.

I specifically forbade you to go
to the mall this afternoon.

And you were supposed to be
cleaning your room.

Oh, I forgot.
I'm sorry, grandma.

Yeah, sorry, Henry.

But wait until you hear
about the awesome outfit

I put on layaway for the party.

I also said no new outfit.

Yeah, I sort of remember

you saying something like that.

Well, Cherie, I certainly hope
you enjoyed yourself.

Yeah, I did.

Good.

Because the next time
you go to the mall,

you'll be shopping
with your social security check.

And where's your history essay?

Right here. I got more detailed
like you suggested.

"Napoleon was a short nerd."

I don't believe this.

It's true, he was a shrimp.

How can you be so irresponsible?

It's a gift?

You, young lady,
are grounded for two weeks.

Two weeks?

She won't be able to go with me
to Margaux's party.

And you're not going either.

Oh, grandma, please.

I'll miss Freddy Fist
And The Bloody Knuckles.

You're gonna get bloody knuckles

scraping the grunge up
off your bedroom floor.

Move your buns.

Punky, I want you
to go to your room

and think about how
you've been behaving lately.

Henry, please.
I'll clean up my room right now.

I'll double the length
of my essay.

Just please let me go
to the party.

No, if you can't assume
life's responsibilities,

you can't share in life's fun.

Henry, please.

Go to your room.

- I feel terrible.
- Me too.

Punishing Punky makes me
feel like a monster.

I know.
I hate punishing Cherie.

Makes me feel
like such a meanie.

And it's a financial
setback too.

How's that?

When Cherie's grounded,

she gets a...
Especially large appetite.

With what it costs me
in Ding Dongs alone,

I could retire.

I don't know how else
to make an impression.

They've got to learn
to take their

responsibilities seriously.

I agree.

But when they're grounded
for two weeks...

- We're grounded for two weeks.
- We're grounded for two weeks.

Aw. Thanks for helping me
clean up the mess, Brandon.

Henry just isn't fair.

Children should be able
to express themselves

and do what they want.

And they should never
ever, ever be punished.

When I'm a parent,

I'll never treat my kid
this way.

I'll be a great parent.

A perfect parent.

The perfect parent.

The perfect parent.

The perfect parent.

Rise and shine,
it's daylight in the swamp!

Henry, turn off that alarm!

Henry, that alarm
could wake King Tut.

Henry, it's time for school.

But you don't have to go
if you don't want to.

Thanks, mom.

Feel free to live your life
however you want.

Your room looks great.

What a wonderful expression
of your personal space.

Thanks, I like it.

It's me.

Did you finish
your history essay?

- Yes, it's on the sill.
- Oh.

"Napoleon was a nerd."

I like it.

It's crisp, it's direct.
Less is more.

I thought so.

Well, now that I'm awake,

maybe I'll go to school
for an hour or so.


Only if you want.

You're such a perfect parent.

Yes, I know.

Time for the monthly bills
again?

Brandon, you're such a nudge.

Alright, let's see.

Phone,

newspaper,

gas,

electric.

Which one should I pay first?

They'll take care of themselves.

Come on in.

Hi.

- Hi, Ms. Brewster.
- Hi.

Hello, Betty dear.

- Good morning.
- Hello.

Is little Henry
ready for school?

Henry sweetheart,
your friends are here.

So, Mrs. Brewster,
have you heard about the party

I'm hosting this weekend?

No, no, weekends
are Henry's private time.

I don't ask him about them.

You're such a perfect parent.

I know.

Well, little Betty
was telling me about the party.

Wait till you hear. These kids
are gonna have a grand old time.

It's gonna be the crowning event
of the adolescent social season.

Well, if you'd like to come,

we do need
another parking attendant.

Gee, thanks for the offer.

But, uh, I don't wanna intrude
on Henry's space.

You're such a perfect parent.

Yes, I know.

Hey, dudes, what's the buzz?

Tell him, Margaux.

Freddy Fist
And The Bloody Knuckles

are playing at my
party Saturday.

Awesome.

I'm gonna shimmy
till I'm skinny.

In that case,
we're in for a long night.

Henry, I'm sure you'll wanna buy
a new outfit for the party.

Here, use my credit card.

Oh, plastic. Drastic!

Now I'm sure
you'll use this responsibly.

Um-hmm.

Oh, Betty,
don't forget your lunch.

What is it?

Twice baked potatoes,
zucchini au gratin

and a top sirloin steak.

Again?

I thought it was your favorite.

It was.

But, like, red meat is out.

Oh.

Henry dear, will you be home
right after school?

- Maybe.
- Oh, okay, no pressure.

I'll leave that up to you.
Use your best judgment.

That's right,
use your best judgment.

- You're such perfect parents.
- You're such perfect parents.

- We know.
- We know.

Did Henry come home from school?

I know, I'm starting
to get worried.

Have you heard
from the kids yet?

No.

I hate to be a nervous Nellie,

but maybe we should call
the police.

Well, Punky, we did tell them

to use their best judgment
on when to come home.

I know, but it's been
five years.

Hey, it's really cold in here.

- Yeah, they shut off my heat.
- Oh, dear.

Tomorrow I lose electricity.

I guess I should have taken
those bills

a little more seriously.

Hey, g*ng, what's happening?

Where have you two been?

I guess we lost track
of the time.

You sure did.
You missed high school.

Where is my credit card?

I need to pay
the electricity bill.

Ah, here you go.

But I had to buy a few things

and I'm afraid
you're $ , over the limit.

I don't believe this.

And where have you been,
young lady?

Well, I hung around the mall
for a couple of years,

then I had kids.

Oh, my Lord.

Where's dinner? I'm starved.

Where's dinner?

You disappear for five years,
miss high school,

spend $ , on my credit card,

and all you can say is
where's dinner?

That's right.

- You're grounded!
- Grounded?

- You can't ground him.
- You're grounded too.

Get real,
you can't ground us now.

You've been letting us
run our own lives all along.

You can't expect us to change

now that we're totally
worthless human beings.

But you've ruined your lives.

Where did we go wrong?

See you around.

- Maybe.
- Maybe.

- No, wait! Wait, come back!
- No, wait. Wait, wait.

- Come on, wait, wait, wait.
- Come back. Wait!

Wait, wait, come back!

Punky, wake up.

Wake up.

What... what's going on?

I was having
a terrible nightmare.

I was you and you was me.

You was? I mean, you were?

I thought
I was the perfect parent

and that loving your kid means

you let them do
whatever they want.

But that's not
the right way at all.

No.

If that were true,
raising kids would be a breeze.

But it's not.

Believe me, I know.

You can't be too easy on them

or else they'll turn out
to be totally

worthless human beings like you.

What?

Henry, in my dream,

I wanted you to like me so much,
I ruined your life.

Ah, sometimes being a parent
can be very unpopular.

But it's part of the job.

Henry, I'm really sorry

about the way
I've been acting lately.

You're forgiven.

I am?

You're still grounded,

but you're forgiven.

Oh.

You know, today I'm really gonna
clean up this room.

I promise.

That sounds great.

Alright, Brandon,
I'll do it right now.

You're such a nudge.
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