02x34 - Inn Sanity

[bunniefuu]

[grunts]

Ya!

(Gasp)

(Chuckle)

Ya!

Hey Tails, how's operation
make-a-big-robot mess going?

(Whoosh)

Not as well as operation
come-up-with-better-names.

I can't get
the unbolterizer to fire!

(Whoosh)

(Cluck)

(Beep)

Loved to stay
and help clean up,

but we weren't the ones who
tried to lure you into a trap.

Gr r!

Look at all this trash!

Those dunderheads were supposed
to haul it off weeks ago!

(Beep)

Sir, rather than taking us all
out in a blaze of glory,

might I suggest you contact the
requisite government entities?

My trash should have been
collected weeks ago!

Mm hmm!

You're in luck!
This is an election year.

I'll take care of it
immediately!

Eggman, one.

Trash, zero!

Would you care to pay the fee
now or by mail?

Let me see that!

This is highway robbery!

Now I regret blowing the kazoo.

You're charging me for
trash collection?

I thought the government was
supposed to do things for free.

That's why everyone else
pays taxes!

The amount of garbage
you had this month

was way above the limit!

So you have to pay
a one-time fee.

If you don't, I'll
foreclose on your evil lair!

There's got to be money
around here somewhere...

Maybe I could get a few bucks
for my particle accelerator!

Ah, but I could never part with
that. I made it at summer camp!

Might I suggest selling
your Doomsday Device?

You haven't used it since
the beginning of season one.

No. I need to come up with a
well thought out,

common sense plan to raise
the money I need. I know!

I'll turn my evil lair
into a resort hotel!

And how are you going
to find people

who want to vacation
in an evil lair?

Hurry, hurry, hurry!

Step right up to see
exotic birds

designed to lure you
into a sales pitch!

Cubot,

you're not supposed to
tell them that!

Oh, right. I forgot.

Attention everyone!

There are no birds!

Doh!

All right,
what's Eggman's angle?

He's turned his lair
into a resort hotel

to pay a small one time
garbage collection fee.

Sounds like the writers
are just phoning it in.

But, just in case,
we better go check it out.

Ah, morning, Admiral.

Morning, Doctor.
Has today's paper arrived?

I'm keen to read
the cricket scores.

Smashing!

Ah, apparently some Eggman
fellow is going to open a hotel.

I'm Eggman,
and this is the hotel!

Oh, jolly good!
When does it open?

It is open.
You're standing in it!

My word.
I'd better scrub my shoe.

Party's over, Egghead.

We're here to figure out
your angle.

There's no angle.
I'm just trying to run a hotel.

A hotel? My word!
When does it open?

It is open.

Then I guess you won't mind
if we check in.

I suppose not.

That's not the right attitude!

You should have a cheerful
rapport with your clientele.

And logo pens.

No sign of evildoing.

Maybe Eggman
was telling the truth.

Eh, one way to find out.

Ohh Egghead!

Hmm?

Bring me a Kaluki Juki.

Where's the umbrella
and pineapple wedge?

(Grumbles)

(Grunts)

And I need like ten of
those free notepads.

I'm making a D paper model
of a train.

That's not what those are for!

Excuse me, boy.

I'm going to need more towels.

You're already using too many!

You should be more accommodating
to the needs of your guests

if you want people to come back.

I don't want any of you
to come back!

I almost have what I need to pay
the mayor's extortion.

And when I do,
I'm kicking all of you out!

My pillows are gone.

What do you mean they're "gone"?

They'll never find me in here.

And it's nice and spacious!

I could open a pillow hotel
for the purple pillow people.

All right, I have your money,
you government goober.

It wasn't even hard!

I just turned my lair
into a hotel!

You do know you need
a permit to do that?

Yeah, well,
what are you gonna do, right?

What's done is done.
Life goes on.

Eh, would you care to pay for
the permit and fines now

or by mail?

(Grumbles)

I'm staying here for a week,

but I fear commitment.

Can I have a different room
every night?

A different room every night?

Are you out of your mind?
Get out of my hotel!

If you want to raise the money,

you have to be nice
to the guests.

I'll be nice to you!

Ha ho, wait!

Ha, fine, I'll do it your way.

My television remote is filthy!

Maybe you're what's filthy!

Get outta my hotel!

Much better, sir.

Evening, Doctor.

Busy night?

I'm working my tuchus off

and I still don't have enough
to pay the Mayor.

Don't worry, old chap.
You'll get it.

As surely as my face is capable
of expressing complex emotions.

Boss!

I just heard
some big news!

Did you hear the big news?

The new hotel is about to get
secretly reviewed

by a secret reviewer

who writes secret reviews
for Secret Review Magazine !

Yeah! Everyone's talking
about it!

It's really important business
numberwords, Mr Nameperson.

I seriously doubt that's how
the conversation went.

But I've got to identify and
impress that secret reviewer

so I can make
this place profitable

and then shut it down.

(Gasps) That could be him!

Quick, you doorknobs.
Look dignified!

Welcome to Eggman Towers.

Hey! I was next in line!

You're unimportant.

But I just need a paperclip.

This isn't
the free paperclip store!

Now, will you go away?

Is that how you talk
to your guests?

Ah, no! Never.

Here's your paperclip, madam.

You have one too. It's our way
of saying welcome. Ha.

I do hope it's quiet here.

Reservation under Redd Herron.

I've had a chaotic week.
I wish to relax.

We pride ourselves on creating

a serene, tranquil
vacation environment.

(Laughter)

You better run!

(Laughter)

Whoa!

Try to catch me!

(Laughter)

We're also family friendly! Ha.

I'm very particular about
my accommodations.

My line of work has me
in many hotels.

Excuse me.

Can't you see I'm busy
with an important customer?

Ha, I promise.
No more interruptions!

My children are hungry!

I demand that you stop
what you're doing

and feed them at once!

You demand ?

I'm paying good money
to stay at this hotel.

Grr...

Fine! You insufferable woman.

I'll just stop what I'm doing

and feed
your ill-behaved children.

Excuse me, could I--

(Clears throat)

Um, uh--

Ah, ahem.

Ah, how is everything?

Mediocre.

Not you. Him!

Mediocre.

I'd give it out of
if I was a reviewer.

What? You're not a reviewer?

No, I'm an insurance adjuster.

Oh, for crying out loud!

All this time I've been
nice to you for no reason?

If you're not the reviewer,
then who is?

(Shrieks)

Care for a spot of tea, sir?

Excuse me,
we've been waiting forever!

In a minute, you harpy!

I would love some tea.

Decaf though. I don't want
to be too jittery today

while I'm selling
vacuum cleaners.

Selling vacuum cleaners?
Is that even a thing anymore?

There's supposed to be
a reviewer,

and I'm wasting all my time
on you imbeciles!

Well! This is the most
appalling service

I've ever had the misfortune
of receiving.

And you are a rude, rude man!

And I'm the reviewer!

You?

Well, this has been a fiasco.

I guess I should just go
with the old standby.

(Evil music)

Ahh!

Eh, Mayor's office.
Mayor speaking.

I've taken
your villagers prisoner.

Get rid of my fees
or I'll get rid of them !

Uh, who is this?

Eh, hang on. I need to find
my hostage negotiating hat.

(On hold music)

Robots, att*ck!

(Screaming)

Ya!

Ya!

Ya! Ya!

Hi-ya!

(Ding)

Ya!

(Beeping)

- Uh oh.
- Uh oh.

(Ka-boom)

(Screaming)

What am I gonna do?

I'm ruined!

Not if I have anything
to say about it.

What are you talking about?

Even though it was based
on misguided assumptions

and plot contrivances,
you treated me with kindness.

So, I've decided to approve
an enormous insurance settlement

to rebuild your lair and pay
for all your permits and fines.

Then everything
will be back to normal!