02x40 - Three Men and My Baby!

[bunniefuu]

Grr!

Woo-hoo! Oh,
there's no endangerment

like reckless endangerment!

- You can say that again!
- Yeah!

Hold on tight, boys. We're going
into maximum overdrive!

- (Ding)
- Ooh! Pizza's ready!

Oh! Hot, hot, hot, hot, hot!

- Whoa!
- Whoa!

- (Gasps)
- Knuckles, look out!

Whoa!

It's days like these
I wish I wore pants!

Aaah!

Ugh!

Wow! That was lucky!
Somebody could've gotten hurt.

Aaah!

Again, our sincerest apologies.

These pizza-related incidents
are becoming all too common.

Maybe it's about time we,
as a culture,

banned restaurant-grade pizza
ovens from cars altogether.

Will I ever be able to walk
into Meh Burger again?

- Oh, absolutely!
- That's a shame.

But you're going to need
some rest.

No getting out of bed
for a few days.

- I'll take care of you, Mama!
- Thank you, Stratford.

But what about little Chumley?
Who'll care for my baby?

Suddenly you're worried
about your baby's safety?

Uh, I mean, we could watch
your kid for a little while.

We save the Village
on a weekly basis.

How hard could it be
to watch one baby?

(Wails)

Why would she trust us
with a baby?

We dropped a tree on her!

There's gotta be something
we can do to make it stop.

- Maybe he's hungry.
- Yeah!

Let's, uh, feed it a chili dog.
Everyone loves chili dogs!

I don't think
he can eat solid food.

- Then put it in the blender.
- Oh, if you say so.

- The chili dog, not the baby!
- OK, that makes more sense.

(Aeroplane noises)

Here comes the aeroplane!

Whoop, whoop! Sorry, folks.

Looks like there's a backup
on the tarmac. Just sit tight

and enjoy this encore airing
of our safety video.

Hello. Willkommen. Aloha.

(Wails)

Will you just
feed the kid already?

- (Gurgles)
- (Contented sigh)

Taking care of a baby
isn't so hard.

- We totally got this.
- (Farts)

- I don't think so.
- But, Amy,

somebody needs to take
responsibility for our actions.

- Why does it have to be us?
- Sorry, guys.

Not my monkey, not my circus.

- (Farts)
- Ugh!

(Wails)

We are go
for removal of diaper one.

Diaper one
successfully detached.

- Prepare waste disposal.
- Ready waste bin.

Applying diaper two.

(Gurgles)

We've changed a diaper!

(Farts and wails)

Readying diaper three.

- (Crying continues)
- We've fed you and changed you.

What more do you want?
Just go to sleep!

Maybe we should try
singing to him,

like a lullaby or something.

♪ Rock a bye, baby,
in the treetop

♪ Whatever we do,
this kid just won't stop ♪

That's because you're not
putting on enough of a show!

♪ Rock a bye, baby, rock a bye

♪ Baby, rock a bye, baby, yeah

♪ Rock a bye, baby, rock a bye

♪ Baby, rock a bye, baby, yeah

♪ Yeah

Oh, I told you we shouldn't have
skimped on the pyrotechnics.

Better pack this gear
back into the Dude-Mobile.

- That's it!
- What?

Running from our problems?

No, a mobile!

(Sigh)

Finally.
How'd you know this would work?

Studies show that the motion
and sound of mobiles

appeals to an infant's simple,
underdeveloped mind.

(Snoring)

He's kinda cute when he's not
screaming his head off.

(expl*si*n)

(Wails)

Knux, you watch Chumley
while I smash this...

very nice man... into oblivion!

Heads up!

It took us hours to put
that baby down, Eggman!

Now we're gonna put you down!

Yeah!
And not for nap-naps, either!

I'm sorry, I didn't realise
this boring action sequence

was getting in the way of
your enthralling baby-sitting!

Whoa! Aaah!

Uh-oh!

I got him!

(Giggles)

(Giggles)

Ew, gross! It's all sticky!

And it smells like pea soup
and talcum powder.

(Gurgles)

Hey, hey, hey! Keep your goopy
baby mitts off my console!

Aaah!

Oh, come on!
I was winning that one!

Aaah!

(Giggles)

You're pretty good in a fight,
little dude.

Turns out all he wanted was
a little gratuitous v*olence!

A baby after my own heart!

I think we're finally
getting the hang of this.

(Swooning)

(Giggles)

(Giggles)

(Yawns and snores)

Grr!

(Wails)

(Giggles)

(Yawns)

(Snores)

(Yawns)

Hey, guys, quick question about
that baby we were watching...

- (Yawns)
- Ugh...

Anyone know where he is?

- Aaah!
- Aaah!

All right, don't panic.

I'm sure he's around here
somewhere. Chumley!

Oh, Chumley!

Oh, no!

Chumley's escaped!
He's out in the real world!

What if he's in trouble?
What if he's hurt?

Oh, what if he's pursuing
a degree in liberal arts?

We gotta find him!

Better check the most
dangerous places in town!

He's not here!

Maybe he's in this tree.

Nope, nothing in the tree.

- He's not down on the ground!
- He's not up in the sky either!

We've been putting it off,

but it's time we checked
the most dangerous place of all.

No babies
have come by here all day.

(Sighs of relief)

Wait. Why are we celebrating?

It's great he's not ingesting
D-grade beef.

I wouldn't call it "beef,"
per se.

But we gotta face the facts.
We lost baby Chumley.

Poor little guy.

(Sniffs) He was such a trooper!

The way he'd crawl around
and nuzzle into my (Sniffs)

impressively sculpted triceps.

Or how he'd pump his fists
when we listened to speed metal.

Let's agree that we won't bicker
over whose fault it is,

be it Sonic for not installing
a door on his shack,

or Sonic for not securing
Chumley in a safety hammock,

or even Sonic for...

Whoa!
What about you, Knuckles?

Now's not the time
to point fingers!

I guess we're all responsible.

And that means we all have to go
tell Lady Walrus the truth.

- Oh, hello, boys!
- Hi, Lady Walrus.

You know that feeling
when you misplace your keys,

and you look everywhere,
but you just can't find them?

Now imagine those keys
are a baby!

Ugh! Look,
there's no easy way to say this.

- Chumley, he's...
- Right there?

Chumley!

(Laughs)

My baby! You're home!

(Giggles)

You boys
really outdid yourselves.

- Oh, it was nothing.
- Bye, Chummers. We'll miss ya.

And don't forget.
Start with free-weights,

then move to bench press
with a cool-down between reps.

You got this, buddy. You're
gonna be so swole come summer.

(Giggles)

(Sobs)

Well, guys, I hope you learned
something from this ordeal.

Oh, absolutely.

We got a crash course
in responsibility.

That's why I installed
a throttle on the oven

in Knuckles' truck.

Now it only works
if he's in park.

(Groans)

Remember, kids,
don't cook and drive.

Woo-hoo!

Grr!