02x10 - Wild'n Cuz I'm Young

[bunniefuu]

College is like
one big, never-ending test.

And not just for your brain...

although sure, that's a part of it.

We all need math, I guess.

But it tests other things, too.

Your character, your beliefs...

and most of all? Your limits.

Your blood-alcohol limit...

Your sexual limits...

Or lack thereof...

Even your physical limits.

And that night's rager...

the biggest of Cal U's fall semester,

"Faded 4 Finals"...

promised to test all
of those limits and more.

It sucks that tomorrow morning

I have to take
the very last final on campus...

Chemistry 101.

But I have a 3-pronged plan

to make sure I stay safely
within my limits for the night.

Timer.

Breathalyzer.

Agua.

So I'm gonna be here
for 10 minutes, go hard,

then literally go home.

Boom.

Clear plan, full cup, can't lose.

All right, I better make
the next 10 minutes

the best of my college career.

Oh, nine. Got to go.

♪ Watch out, world, I'm grown now ♪

♪ I'm grown ♪

♪ Learn something new every day ♪

♪ I don't know, so I'm-a feel my way ♪

♪ Got the weight of the world on me ♪

♪ But no regrets, this is what I say ♪

♪ Watch out, world, I'm grown now ♪

- ♪ I'm grown ♪
- ♪ You can tell me ♪

♪ My heart b*ating so loud ♪

♪ Mama, look, I'm grown now ♪

♪ I'm grown ♪

All right, the party clock
has been reset.

10 minutes. Let's do this.

You realize this is the littiest party

of the semester, right?

You realize 10 minutes
could never be enough

to witness the exquisite debauchery?

You realize Mr. Dalvin of Jodeci

is rumored to be stopping in, right?

You realize people can actually hear

the stuff that comes out your mouth?

Uh, yeah, and
as much as I'd love to meet

the dude from the group who
inspired #WashedUpWednesdays,

my Chem 101 final is tomorrow morning.

Zoey, my average-looking yet
overly diligent friend.

- I'm stunning.
- Unless you're a total moron,

you could legit never open
any kind of book ever

and still cr*ck a B-minus, no cap.

Well, if Vivek of all people
says the test is easy,

I might actually be okay.

Okay, y'all, sh*ts.

Come on. Squad up. Let's go.

Yo, but where are Ana and Nomi?

Good question.

Lemme text these hoes.

How is it midnight already?!

I guess time flies
when you've been transported

to the land of pure, sensual pleasure.

- Yeah?
- Yeah.

Then why did it fly this time?

Come on, man.

What?

- What? What?
- Nothing.

So, I want to watch Roxane Gay
talk about anything

for the rest of my life, always.

Everything you have
taken me to this week

has been amazing.

Thank you so much.

Anytime.

Sorry. One second.

- Anything important?
- No. It's Zoey.

She's, um, at the rager of the year

and wants me to meet her there.

Well, go have fun.

I don't have to go.

Not right now, anyway.

We could hang out
for a little bit longer.

I-I mean, I'd like that.

But that would be selfish,

and you shouldn't stop
doing stuff with your friends

just to hang out with me.

Yeah, but...

what if I want to?

Nomi...

these are the best four years
you're ever gonna get.

You're here to experience life,

not just talk about it in a classroom.

Go do it.

Okay, fine. Twist my arm,
I'm gonna go party.

I'm gonna have an amazing time...

and I will be texting you after.

All right.

Never mind.

Okay, so, technically,

I've been waiting
for the alcohol to arrive,

so this shouldn't count
towards my "fun time."

So, restarted my party clock
just to make up

for those potential precious
minutes of lost youth.

- Oh, oh?
- Uh, heads-up,

I think my boy Doug
is coming through tonight.

Does this outfit
look like I give a damn?

- It does not.
- No.

She does, though.

Her and Doug haven't talked ever since

our whole rebranding
of our IG went down.

- No contact for weeks.
- What? For real?

- Zero.
- Aw.

Hey, don't "aw" me.
I am not checking for Doug.

Hey... y'all let me know
if you want some more sh*ts,

because your boy's got V.I.P. access,

so I. Got. Chu.

We tried to tell him.

Vivek, this is a college party.

There is no such thing
as a V.I.P. section.

You got played.

Okay, I'm sure my boy Jahi made up

a fake V.I.P. section
with bottle service

and a meet-and-greet
with Jodeci's Mr. Dalvin

all for a cool hundo.

Okay.

A toast... to Vivek

and asking more questions,

both of which are painfully basic.

- Mm.
- Yeah, cheers.

To paraphrase Beyoncé's husband...

after the party is
the dorm-room lobby, which is...

where I'm headed for
a three-hour block of studying.

No, no, no, no, no.
But this is my song, though.

I can't leave now. So for every
10 minutes of partying,

I'll do an extra 10 minutes of studying.

Solid math. All right, let's go.

I'll get the drinks.

Oh, wait, Ana!

Ana!

Ana, hi!

- Hey.
- Hi.

I thought you would be studying.

Oh, no, Vivek said the test
was, like, super easy,

so I'm just hanging out for a bit,

letting my brain relax

so I can really absorb the info.

- Yeah. Totally.
- Now that I think about it,

I haven't seen Nomi.

Or Aaron, for that matter.
Have you seen him?

Why would I? I hate him.

Okay, I thought
you guys were, like, cool now.

- Nope. Nope, he sucks.
- Cool.

- Ooh.
- Oh, sorry. Hi.

- Aaron, hey.
- Thank you so much

for the two drinks for Zoey and I.

Turns out he doesn't suck.

Thanks?

No, I'm sorry. I'm just
resetting my timer.

For what?

It's a reminder to study
for my Chem final.

I'm only gonna stay for like 10 minutes,

like, 40, tops.

You're in Mr. Woolery's class, right?

Yeah.

I remember taking
that test freshman year.

I'm still traumatized.

But Vivek said it was, like, super easy.

Yeah, but, I mean, you do
realize Vivek's a genius, right?

The dude's an engineering major
and a drug dealer, okay...

basically all the ingredients
of a chemist.

No wonder he aced the test
without breaking a sweat.

But you, my homey,

you're [bleep].

The thing about limits is you
can push them for a while,

but at a certain point, they
might start pushing you back.

Whoo!

J. Cole sucks! Yeah! Whoo!

Aaron's words have really sobered me.

Not in the traditional sense...

'cause... I'm faded...

but in the sense
that I'm making an early exit

from the party of the semester

to do what I should've done
an hour ago...

go back to my room and study.

You know what?
Okay, fine, you caught me.

Hours ago.

Alcohol really does dull your judgment.

That's chemistry, right?

Dammit. I have no idea.
I really gotta go.

Gotta go. I'm going. That way.

I'm going that way.

My key card. Oh!

Hi. Excuse me.

Uh, can... can one of you let me in?

I-I got locked out. Please?

I-I live right upstairs.

I promise I'm not a serial k*ller.

Zoey. Zoey.

I need you.

- Jazz won't listen to me.
- I actually really...

I have never asked you
for anything before

in my entire life, and I
probably won't ever do it again.

So are you really gonna
miss out on this opportunity?

- No, I'm not.
- You're not. Let's go.

And he thought he could tell me

what I could and couldn't
post on my socials

when his are just a whole-ass mess,

when his ratios are just sad to look at,

when his are just pictures
of his wack-ass tennis shoes

and a blurry selfie
with his wack-ass mama.

Oh, my G... is she on IG Live?

Yes, she's having
a full-on meltdown live.

All right, um...

Hey, Jazz.

Jazz, baby girl, you want to talk to me.

- What's going on?
- Hold on.

And then dude had the nerve
to come up to this party,

where I am, and dance, knowing damn well

he don't know how to dance.
Are you joking?

- Is he joking?!
- I bet he is,

'cause Doug is such a joker.

He loves a good joke, and so does Jazz,

- because this is a joke, everybody.
- Unh-unh-unh-unh-unh.

Best believe I got
those screenshots for days.

For days.

Your ass is gonna be nothing again.

Yes.

Hey.

Did you... just touch...

my phone?

Yes, I did,

but in my defense,

not only is that social-media su1c1de...

You know what, don't look
at him. Don't look at him.

It's just a bad move for a girlfriend.

- I'm not his girlfriend.
- Ex-girlfriend.

- We're not broken up!
- This is getting worse,

not better. Fix it.

You know what? Look.

Look, I get that it's difficult

and complicated between you two,

but the one thing I really
admire about you

is that you're brave. You're brave.

You know how to confront things.

And what I know for a fact

is that you will find a way
to confront the situation

- between the two of you.
- Yes. Mm-hmm. Yes, I will.

- You got this. You got this.
- Yes, I got this. I got this.

You are Jazz, and you've got everything.

- Yes.
- She's got this. Tell her she's got this.

- She's got this.
- You got this, Jazz.

- Aw, you're such a good friend.
- Oh, I know.

Why is being the glue of
this group so time-consuming?

And, God, where is Ana?

All I can think about
is being naked with you...

I can't stop.

Get out of here.

Ana, I really need
your key card so I can study.

Oh, yeah. Key?

- Oh.
- Oh, my God. Thank you.

And, by the way,
it's so nice that you two

are finally hanging out
like normal people.

No, we're not normal.

He's super weird and ugly.

Ugly?

- Wha... Aar...
- Come on, man.

Ayo, I ordered a bottle an hour ago.

What kind of elevated
experience is this?

I'm calling Jahi.

Finally.

I got some water,

got some aromatherapy
to get my mind right,

and now it's time to get my study on.

Hm.

You're home! I thought you'd
still be down at the party.

Nope. Still here, learning.

Sucks for you, nerd.

Meanwhile,

I have fallen deeply in like.

Like, "I definitely am gonna
text her tomorrow morning,

and we haven't even hooked up
yet" kind of like.

Nomi deeply in like?

I mean, this is huge for her.

She's gonna want to talk about it.

Hey, you want to talk about it?

No, I don't want to jinx it.

Yes.

But I do wanna party about it.

- Come on.
- No.

As much as I'd love to, I can't.

It's 2:00 a.m., girly,

and my Chem final's
tomorrow morning in...

...seven hours.

- All right, chemistry, Zoey?
- Mm-hmm.

You are a fashion major.

Unless you're doing, like,
big things with lab coats

and, I don't know, goggles,

don't need chemistry.

I still need a good grade. Remember?

I dropped my design lab.
I can't fail this class

unless I want an incomplete
on the entire semester.

First of all,

I bet that you absorbed like
90% of what you need to know

just through osmosis alone.

- What?
- Not important.

Second of all, what I'm hearing

is that you need a passing grade.

Not a good one. Very different.

My GPA will know the difference.

- GPA, Zoey?
- Yes.

You are an artiste, okay?

You don't need a 4.0.
You need to experience life.

I mean, now that you mention it,

Grace Coddington didn't
even go to college.

And she's the visionary
behind Anna Wintour's Vogue.

Yes. Vogue.

Look, a very good friend of mine
helped me realize

that this place, it's about
more than just academics.

These are four of the most amazing years

we are ever going to get.

We need to live them.

Yes.

I am Grace Coddington.

You know what? Nomi is right.

School is about so much
more than just...

school.

It's about friends and love and parties.

And so, in honor of all of those things,

let's get our osmosis on!

Not what it means.

I'll get there.

You know what? I got this.

Like, sure, I didn't get home
until 7:00 a.m.,

but I'm really crisp. And Nomi is right.

I may not be a chemist, per se,

but ya girl looked up
what "osmosis" meant

before I puked in a bush.

It's all up here.
Just trust in the process.

And I got to go to a cool party,
so win-win.

Question one:

"What is the chemical
formula for water?"

Uh, that'd be "H" to the "O."

OMG. I am great at chemistry.

I am a chemist.

All right, question number two:

"Calculate the molar solubility
of calcium hydroxide."

Okay, that one's a little bit
of a thinker.

I'll come back to it.

"Enzyme catalyzed reaction"?

You know this, Zoey.

Enzyme catalogue reactors.

Damn it. Maybe I should go back
to question two.

10 minutes left, and remember, people,

check your answers.

This test is worth 50% of your grade.

10 minutes? Oh, my God.

I thought at the very least, I'd pull,

like, a-a "D" -minus.

But if I fail this test,
then I fail the whole class.

I-I'm gonna be put on
academic probation.

So, there I was, an entire
evening of making bad decisions

had pushed me to the point
of making one more.

Oh, my God.

I'm so sorry, but my pencil dropped.

Would you mind grabbing it for me?

Thank you.

Okay.

Come in, why don't you?

I don't like formalities either.

I want to tell Zoey.

- About what?
- About...

...this.

Oh, oh. Okay.

Yeah, I mean, I just thought
you didn't want to do that

'cause it would mess up
the energy of the crew, and...

Maybe, but I feel guilty,
like, all the time.

So, yes, maybe saying something
might affect the squad,

but not saying anything?

I-I-It's totally affecting me, so...

I have to. I have to tell her.

I respect that.

You know, do what you got to do.

Oh.

Okay.

- Good talk.
- We did it.

Hello, Douglas.

Ah.

Good afternoon, Jazlyn.

Look, I just want you to know

I'm gonna forgive your little
pettiness last night.

So can we just stop with
the bullshit and move forward?

It depends. Is the first step
of moving forward

you taking down that
rebranding sh*t on Instagram?

Um, it is not.

All right.
So there's nothing to discuss.

That's not the look for me.

I don't care what your look is.

- All right, bet.
- Let me just be clear.

When I met you,

I was looking for a boyfriend,

not a second dad.

Okay, and when I met you,

I was looking for a girlfriend,

not some little Instagram shorty

that's setting thirst traps.

Well, um,

I guess this isn't anything
a discussion is going to fix.

No, I guess not.

Or any amount of time apart.

Nah.

I guess we could call it a wrap.

Might as well make it official.

- Might as well.
- Cool.

- Yeah.
- Yep.

Seriously? I mean, how long can it take

to hand out 40 "C" -minuses?

Yes?

Hey.

Oh, hey.

You busy?

No, just waiting for grades.

Uh, what's up?

Uh, nothing. I just...

I wanted to talk to you about something,

something I've been thinking about.

Everything okay?

Yeah.

Uh...

- Zoey.
- Yeah?

Have you ever done something
that's not terrible,

but it's not great?

Um, I'm so s... I'm sorry.

Sorry, sorry.

No.

Are you okay?

No, um,

I think I might've just gotten
caught cheating, so...

Yeah.

I am so sorry this V.I.P. thing

didn't work out for you, dude, honestly.

But when you think about it,
it's entirely your fault.

Like, you had control of
the situation the whole time.

Could've got out at any moment,
but you didn't,

so there's that.

Thanks, man.

- Mm-hmm.
- I'm going for a walk.

All right.

What the...?

It's... It's real.

Aaron, "A" -plus, come here.

It's... It's real.

Mr. Dalvin?

From Jodeci?