08x17 - Food

[bunniefuu]

[Whirring]
[Theme music plays]

[Whirring]

MAN: It's alive!

[Thunder rumbles]

[g*n cocks]

You know me.
I'm Walter White.

I'm not in the meth business.
I'm in the empire business.

You want to know
what it's like to break bad?

Well, I'm gonna break it down for you.
[Hip-hop music playing]

Because I am the one who knocks.

♪ And I'm the one
who likes breakfast! ♪

♪ It's Walt Junior,
but you can call me MC Flynn ♪

♪ My favorite meal
is when the day begins ♪

♪ Yeah,
I'm all about that breakfast ♪

♪ It's my jam ♪

♪ I'm talking turkey sausage,
eggs, bacon, and ham ♪

♪ In the mood for pancakes ♪

♪ Uh, I am ♪

♪ I go mental for continental ♪

♪ Throw back a Grand Slam ♪

♪ Customize an omelette
with all the right spices ♪

♪ Lean back like a mack
with my cantaloupe slices ♪

♪ Never had a girlfriend, yo,
but don't hate ♪

♪ Got no time for vagine, man ♪

♪ Look at this plate ♪

♪ I like my Cap'n Crunchy ♪

♪ My home fries fried ♪

How do you want your eggs,
Walt Junior?

♪ Let me see that sunny side! ♪

Hey, Mr. White, sorry I'm late.

J. Pink, why don't you
break me off a piece.

Yeah, bitch!

♪ Last name Pinkman,
first name Jesse ♪

♪ Met Mr. White
then things got messy ♪

♪ We m*rder*d Gus Fring ♪

♪ And I was eating
your breakfast ♪

♪ Hey, let's get back to breakfast ♪

♪ I'll go nuts on a doughnut ♪

♪ I don't mean to boast ♪

♪ Do something awful to a waffle ♪

♪ Or some French toast ♪

Orange juice, Flynn?

- # Um, let me think, yes, please #
- Concentrate?

♪ Bitch, just fella only drinks
fresh-squeezed ♪ [Music stops]

Oh, I will take that
from everyone else,

but if you call your mother
a bitch again,

you will end up on the roof
like that pizza!

You never let me do anything fun!

All right,
sweet landing Exosquad.

Almost as sweet as our haircuts!

Hey, Takagi, that E-frame
looks good on you, rookie.

Thanks!
Hey, quick hypothetical.

If someone, let's say,
oh, I don't know,

sharted big-time
in his or her exosuit,

is there some sort of
cleaning system that wipes

this thing down and
neutralizes really strong odors?

Cut the chatter, Takagi.
Neosapiens closing in.

Lock and load.

Come on, you bastards!

Hey, when they tested this suit,

did they ever fill it knee-deep
with Dinty Moore beef stew

and figure out
how to drain it ASAP?

There's an evac switch
under the console

in case of a coolant leak.

- We got company!
- Nice sh**ting, team.

[Grunts]

Oh, hey, guys!
Is coolant brown?

Guess it is.
Better let it all drain out.

And donesy.

Mother ship, we're coming home.
Hazmat protocol.

- Takagi sh*t his suit.
- What?!

Swiper, please, no swiping!

I have to.
Don't you understand?!

The work's not done over there!

[heroic music]

Announcer: The future ... mutant
carnivores called Carnivars

terrorize the people of Peopleopolis.

Their only hope is Max Action,

the super soldier
leading the fight for freedom.

Lead us into battle, Max!

I will!

But first, I've heard rumors
I was on cocaine

when I designed my uniform and
half-lion, half-car Lion Car.

Well, I was stone-cold sober, okay?!

Okay. But how will we retake
control of the capital?

I overheard people saying
that my Lion Car is "a mess,"

and "what cocaine would look
like if cocaine was a car."

Well, you're wrong!

So you gossip hounds
can talk smack

while I take on the
Carnivars by myself ...

completely sober.

Ooh, what's this white stuff
down here?

Gosh, I don't have a push broom
or a DustBuster.

Hmm, better use my nose.

[Snorting]

Oh, there we go!

Whoo!
To victory!

[Screaming]

Come on, Angels.

Our Victoria's Secret show
starts in two minutes.

Oh!
Oh, somebody call !

This rattlesnake just bit
the tip of my d*ck!

Oh!
We need to suck out the poison!

[Unzips]

That'sss right,
I'm the ultimate wingman.

I'll be on that dude'sss
Chrissstmasss lissst forever!

[Laughs]

Oh, my God ... he's dead.

[Groans]

[Alarm blaring]

The ferry, drive!
Go, go, go!

Bailey: It's your lucky day!

You guys are in the Cash Cab,

a TV game show that takes place
right here in my taxi.

[g*nshots, tires squeal]

The [bleep] did you just say?

I'll ask you
general-knowledge questions

- on your way to your destination.
- "Cash Cab" ... right!

Oh, my sister watches
this show all the time!

Yeah, what up, Denise!
I'm on "Cash Cab"!

- This first question is for $ .
- Here they come!

Ben Franklin wanted which feathered
fowl to be our national bird?

The ... the ...
[Grunts]

- Steven?! They k*lled Steven!
- The turkey!

That's right!
You have $ !

Police Officer: Pull over!

[Bleep] you, pigs!

Second question,
what kind of banana ...

[Grunts]

[Sirens wail]

Announcer: Coming up...

Oh, Denise, I never made a will!

So my baseball cards and
all this money we just stole,

this is definitely ...
[Glub, glub]

To find out
who got the baseball cards,

go to discovery.com
for web exclusives.

Here's your martini, Miss Delacroix.

- I presume it's dirty.
- Oh, very dirty, Mr. Bond.

- And for you, sir?
- Full order of nachos.

Maybe some of those
Kobe beef sliders.

And make some room on the wall.

Tell Freddy I'll be taking
his hot-wing challenge tonight.

[Giggles]

Oh, James!

So ... so ... so have you guys,

you guys have ...
you guys have done it?

- Uh, no ... obviously.
- Well, I have.

- No, you haven't!
- Yeah!

Yeah, I have sex
with my girlfriend

up in the Niagara Falls area,
like, every time I see her.

Oh, your girlfriend's missing
all her teeth then?

What does that mean?
[Laughing]

- [Bleep] idiot!
- [Bleep] you, guys!

Who k*lled the hooker
at the dockside bar?!

- Was it you?!
- Who, me?

- Yes, you!
- Couldn't be.

Then who?

Sanchez k*lled the hooker
at the dockside bar.

She wasn't dead when I left.
[Growls]

Now get the butter.

Mmm!

Mmm!

Now get the marzipan.

Pablo, looks like someone sucked
the blood out of our goats!

Who the hell would do that?

[Hip-hop music playing] # You wanna know
who be sucking all these goats? #

♪ Ha ha ♪

♪ I'm a Chupacabra,
legendary creature ♪

♪ Tiny-ass goat,
you know I'm gonna eat ya ♪

♪ I suck goats
like a bad mother... ♪

♪ "Cabra" means goat ♪

♪ "Chupa" means sucka ♪

♪ Bloodsucking stud at a goat buffet ♪

♪ Yeah, I be sucking on goats,
like, every day ♪

♪ My thick-ass skin
is like ancient armor ♪

♪ I suck more goats
than an Appalachian farmer ♪

♪ Wanna roll with me ♪

♪ Then you're out of luck ♪

♪ Unless you be bringing
some goats to suck ♪

♪ You think I'm lying,
man, I'll slit your throat ♪

♪ You best believe me
when I say ♪

♪ I suck so much goat ♪

♪ He's a Chupacabra ♪

♪ That's why he can gloat ♪

♪ Sharp-ass fangs,
big old wings ♪

♪ We forgetting anything? ♪

♪ Oh, yeah, he sucks goat ♪

♪ I came to chew bubble gum
and suck on goats ♪

♪ And I'm all out of gum ...
that's my favorite quote ♪

♪ I suck on goats
every week and weekend ♪

♪ If I ain't sucking goats,
then I'm probably sleepin' ♪

♪ Got a goat-sucking process ♪

♪ You know you want it ♪

♪ Number one, find a goat ♪

♪ Number two, suck on it ♪

♪ I've sucked on goats
from here to New Orleans ♪

♪ I sucked more goats
than a milking machine ♪

♪ I'm the greatest of all time ♪

♪ Can't you see ♪

♪ "G" to the "O"
to "A" to the "T" ♪

♪ Chupacabra, son ♪

♪ I hope you take note ♪

♪ I'm a bloodthirsty gangsta ♪

♪ I'm-a suck your goat ♪

♪ He's a Chupacabra ♪

- So, uh, you want my mix tape?
- Does this answer your question?

[g*n cocks]

_

Wait, wait, wait!
Wait a minute, man,

how many times could you
possibly use that?

Eh, more than you might think.

Oh!
Remy, I have a date tonight,

and I'm a little nervous because
I've never done it before.

Say no more.
Leave it to me.

Oh! Ooh!
[Grunting]

Colette: Oh, yeah.

Yes, Linguini, you're amazing!

[Chuckles]
You ready for a second helping?

Mais oui!

But why are you wearing
a chef's hat on your balls?

Anybody got any hand sanitizer?

Hey, what the [bleep]
What the [bleep]?!

Yo, I didn't do sh*t, man!
I did not do sh*t!

What the [bleep]!
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey!

You get the [bleep] off me.
Man, get the [bleep] off!

Get the [bleep] off me, man.

Get your hand out my pouch!

I got a receipt for that!
Hey, [bleep] you, man.

They didn't give me a receipt,
that's on them.

That's not me, that's on them.

I'll kick you ass, mother[bleep]

[Hitting high note]

Announcer: In , the U.S.
government captured Bigfoot.

With his unparalleled strength,
there was only one option ...

train Bigfoot to become an officer

with the San Francisco
Police Department.

But what does a powerful monster
named Bigfoot drive?

A powerful monster truck
named Bigfoot.

Outfitted with artificial intelligence,

the monster truck named Bigfoot
and the other Bigfoot

became the unstoppable
team of Bigfoot and Bigfoot!

Starring Hulk Hogan as the voice
of Bigfoot ... the truck one.

All right, Bigfeet,
I'm sending you guys undercover.

Sounds cool!
Wheelie cool, brother!

Y'all gonna bring down a drug
cartel called El Diablo's Taint.

Now get out of my office!

[Growling]

How the hell did you get in here?

A little birdie told me
that one of you is a cop.

Seòor Sanchez, I don't know
if this new guy's a cop,

but I'm pretty sure he's Bigfoot.

Madre de caca!

He's Bigfoot and a cop!

[Growling]

[g*ns cock]
Huh?

Sorry I'm late, brother!

[Grunting]

[Tires squeal]

[Growling]

A "please" would be nice, brother.

[Horn honks]

[Panting]

Oh, sorry!
Brother, sorry!

The hills are alive with
the sound of justice, brother!

Now that's a dirty Sanchez, brother.

[Roaring]

[Burps]

Well, I was gonna suggest lunch,

but it looks like you just ate, brother.

♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪

♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪

♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk-a-wawk
wawk bawk bawk ♪

♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪

♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪

♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk-a-wawk
wawk bawk bawk ♪

♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪

♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪

♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk-a-wawk
wawk bawk bawk ♪

- Ba-gawk!
- Bawk.

[James Bond theme]