01x06 - Cashin' Out

Episode transcripts for the TV show "Grown-ish". Aired: January 3, 2018 - present.*
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Zoey heads off to college and begins her hilarious journey to adulthood.
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01x06 - Cashin' Out

Post by bunniefuu »

ZOEY: So, I was in love.

Okay, I know I've said it before,

but this time, it was for real.

♪ You know just what to say ♪

And not that other kind of love,

like when I held my baby brother Devante

for the first time...

♪ But I can't move my feet ♪

♪ I didn't know that I was
starving till I tasted you ♪

...or when I saw the Beyoncé
"Lemonade" video for the first time...


♪ Don't need no butterflies when
you give me the whole damn zoo ♪

♪♪

...or the first time
I experienced a Kogi Beef taco.


Oh, my [Bleep] God!

No, this was a different kind of love,

the kind that made colors seem brighter,

the air seem cleaner,

and the problems of the world

just didn't seem like
that big of a deal anymore.


And it was all because of him.

- [DING!]
- Cassius Mooney.

My first real love.

- ♪ I was starving till I tasted you ♪
- My first everything.

I got you something. I hope you like it.

♪ Oh, yeah, till I tasted you ♪

Oh, my God.
Cash, I can't believe you did this.

♪ Ah-ah-ah, ah-da-da-da ♪

Is that extra pickled cabbage?

♪ Da-da-da ♪

God, I love this man.

♪ Something inside Me's changed ♪

♪ I was so much younger yesterday ♪

♪ Watch out, world, I'm grown now ♪

♪ I'm grown ♪

♪ Learn something new every day ♪

♪ I don't know know,
so I'ma feel my way ♪

♪ Got the weight of the world on me ♪

♪ But no regrets, this is what I say ♪

♪ Watch out world, I'm grown now ♪

- ♪ I'm grown ♪
- ♪ You can tell me ♪

♪ My heart b*ating so loud ♪

♪ Mama, look, I'm grown now ♪

♪ I'm grown ♪

[CRUNCHING]

- [CELLPHONE CHIMES]
- Mm.

[CELLPHONE CHIMING]

[CELLPHONE RINGING]

- [CELLPHONE BEEPS]
- Stalker!

Where have you been?
What you been doing?

Who you been doing it with?

Whoa.

Didn't realize I had a second mom,

and not in a fun Annette
Bening-indie-film kind of way.

I was worried about you.

It's no big deal... I was with Cash.

No, I know you were with Cash,

but "with" in a sharing a milkshake
with two straws kinda "with,"

or with-with,

like in a late-night
Skinemax movie kinda with?

I think neither?

Lying is a really bad color
on you, Zoey.

Okay, fine.

We did it.

Yay, yay! Yay!

I knew it! I knew it! I knew it!

Tell me everything!

I am not gonna tell you everything

because a lady doesn't tell,

and I am now technically
and Biblically a lady.

- Aww!
- [LAUGHS]

What I can say for sure...

[SIGHS] I'm in love.

Awww!

You bitch!

Excuse me?

Sorry. I'm just jealous.

My first time was with
an altar boy from Dade County.

[CHUCKLES]

I'm so glad you did it
with someone that you love.

- Yeah.
- But I'm kinda sad, though.

I'm not gonna see you anymore.

What are you talking about?

Girl, I know how it is
when you get your first pinga.

Especially when it's with
someone that you love.

Okay, I have no clue what a pinga is,

but it's not gonna change me.

I mean, I'm not gonna get all obsessive

and start acting weird
because I've had sex.

Cash and I are just
enjoying our time together.

I'm not trying to make it a big deal

and get all pinga crazy.

A pinga is a penis, isn't it?

You're damn right it is.

[BOTH LAUGH]

♪♪

Yo, how long have you been in here?

It's barely : .

The sad day drinkers are still here.

[SIGHS]

We got here super early so we
wouldn't have to pay the $ cover.

VIVEK: I would've got you.

You know V-Digital
takes care of his ladies.

Please stop with that nickname.

- It's never taking off.
- [CHUCKLES]

- Thought it was good.
- Here comes Sky.

- Please don't mention her face.
- What?

Hey, guys.

Oh, my God. What happened to your face?!

Bitch, I thought you said
it wasn't that bad!

No, it's bad.

I tried to save money

and do this at-home waxing thing,

but all I had was
a pumpkin spice Yankee Candle.

Autumn vibes, though.

Well, why the hell would you do that?

Because waxing isn't cheap.

And the women in our family

grow facial hair like Anthony Davis.

♪♪

I thought you guys
had free rides here, though.

Like, I always see you
in the dope kicks,

the fly hoodies.

Yeah, our ride covers room,
board, and track gear.

Just enough to keep us alive
and running for the school.

But not enough to keep us feeling human.

I mean, my nails look like
I just crawled out of a well.

Mm.

So get a job.

When?

Between : a.m. practices
and midnight classes?

Yeah, we're not gonna be
those sad chicks

at the fast-food joint
selling burgers at : a.m.

Hello?

Is... Is anyone back there who
can make me a Sourdough Jack?!

- Hello!
- [HORNS HONKING]

Hey, wait your turn!

Man, if you guys really need some money,

V-Didge can give you some side work.

Have you ever swallowed
a balloon on purpose?

[SIGHS]

Bro, you make it so hard
to root for you.

What you guys need
is a side hustle, okay?

When I'm broke, I write papers
for the freshmen in Hawkins,

so check there.

You guys need to find your lick.

♪♪

To be honest,
you are the story right now,

so let's talk about you.

Okay.

I'm not gonna act like it's not hot

to see the man you love
on national television.

[CHUCKLING] I mean,
especially since I dressed him.

If I left it up to Cash,
he'd end up looking like

one of those other
fashion forward athletes.

♪♪

So, how does it feel to be
the hottest college player

in the country right now?

Honestly, I'm only as good
as the people around me.

Okay, you've been well-prepped.

- [CHUCKLES]
- [WHISPERING] I'm that person.

So, what are your plans
after this season?

Are you one-and-done?

Are you declaring for the draft?

Cari, there's a lot of factors.

- You know that.
- All right.

Man, listen, no playing...
we're not here to play.

What are you going to do?

What are these factors?

Tell me something.

All right.

I don't know what my plans are
after the season,

but I know wherever I do end up,

I want that girl with me.

And I'm saying it right here
on your show...

I'm not going anywhere
without Zoey Johnson.

You got the scoop first, Cari.

You're welcome.

Wow.

Oh, my God.

That was almost like a proposal.

On national television.

Damn it, I can't believe
today was the day

I decided to go all Alicia Keys!

♪♪

It had only been half an hour

since Cash's b*mb drop on national TV,

but between the sex
and the weird proposal thing,


it suddenly seemed like my life
was on adult fast-forward.


- CASH: Hey.
- Oh!

- [CELLPHONE BEEPS]
- Hey.

- I was good, right?
- Hey.

Yeah, you were amazing.

What's wrong?

♪♪

Okay, what was up with the whole,

"I want Zoey Johnson
to go wherever I go" thing?

Was that for real or for the cameras?

No, I meant that.

You're my girl.

If I get drafted, I want you by my side,

styling me, having my back,

being the Ayesha to my Steph.

Oh...[CHUCKLES]

What? Don't you want that?

Yeah. Yeah.

I'm... I'm... I'm just processing.

I mean, it's a lot.

And... And what about...
What about my life?

What about my dreams?

Well, can't they travel with us?

I guess.

Zoey, this is the reality of my life.

I'm probably not gonna be here
in the next six months.

[SCOFFS]

Six months is so soon.

I know.

And the idea of you
not being there with me just...

doesn't feel right.

Just promise me you'll think about it.

Yeah. [SIGHS]

I promise.

Like I'll be able
to think about anything else.

- Yes!
- [SIGHS]

Look, I'll give you $ .

$ ?! We agreed on $ .

These are unreleased Cal U EQTs.

You know how fast you can run
in these [Bleep] things?

Now run your cheap,
hagglin' ass out of here

before I b*at your ass with this box.

- Whoa, whoa. What's going on here?
- Hey.

We took your advice,
and we found our hustle.

We realized we were sitting on

a gold mine of free track gear, so...

Yeah, when we lose something,

the school replaces it
with no questions.

Wow.

Any chance you guys might lose
a men's double XL track jacket?

For the right price, I'll lose anything.

Okay, well, just make sure
that it's large,

'cause you know I got the shoulders.

Question... friends and family discount?

♪♪

Mm.

♪♪

Hey, guys.

Uh-oh, there she is!

The girl from TV who's got
Cash Mooney all sprung.

Oh. I almost didn't
recognize her with makeup on.

Concealer and blush, Zoey.

That's all it would have taken. God.

Hey, so I bet you're hoping
that when Cash gets drafted,

you get to go somewhere fly
like Miami or like New York.

Ooh, or Portland!

Chia-seed pudding and
white people with dreadlocks.

[CHUCKLES] Am I right?

No, nothing you say is right.

And Zoey's not gonna follow him.

Of course she's gonna follow him.

Any girl would follow him.
I mean, can I follow him?

No, Ana's right.

I-I don't know
if that's what I want to do.

Exactly.

Don't chase that pinga, girl.

Dude, this is not regular pinga.

This is $ million pinga.

Baller pinga.

The kind they got
on billboards and T-shirts

and posters in little kids' bedrooms.

"Pinga" means "penis," doesn't it?

- Mm-hmm.
- Can you just chill?

I mean, the draft
isn't for another six months.

I can make my decision then.

Wait. So, six months from now,

you think you're gonna be
any less attached to him?

[SCOFFS]

I don't know.

I didn't even really
think about it like that.

Well, maybe you should.

Because if you're not gonna go,

then why are you still in this?

Mnh.

Nomi, as my one normal friend,

- what do you think?
- [SCOFFS]

What do I think?

You really wanna know what I think?

I think, once again,
you've managed to hijack

a perfectly nice night
and make it about you.

Wait. Did I miss something?

Yeah, how about the last six texts

that I sent you about what
I was going through with Dave?

Dave? Da...

Oh, right! Dave!

How is he doing?

We broke up.

But I guess it didn't have
anything to do with you,

so you didn't care.

No. God. No, no. Nomi, I didn't know.

I'm so sorry that I've just been...

You should be sorry.

And you know what? You should go.

Follow Cash.

I mean, your head is already
so far up his ass anyway,

it wouldn't really make a difference

if you stuck around here or not.

God, what happened
to the sun shining brighter

and the birds chirping louder?

I mean, are all the birds dead?

Who k*lled the birds?

And I thought being in love

was gonna make all my problems easier,

but it just feels like
it's making things worse.

Where the hell have you been,
young lady?

Oh.

Mom?! How did you get in here?

Why are you not returning
my calls and my texts, Zoey?

[SIGHS] I'm in college. I've been busy?

Well, apparently, you're not too busy

to be on the set
of some sports talk show.

And when did you stop
wearing makeup, sweetheart?

What is going on?

And who does this Cash think he is,

making a point on national television

of turning my daughter
into a basketball wife?

- Mom, it's not like that.
- Oh, it's not?

- No.
- Really?

Sweetie, what is going on?

What's happening?

Are you serious about this Cash guy?

I mean... [SCOFFS]

[LAUGHS]

I'm in love with him.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

- [CHUCKLES]
- My God.

This is your first love.

[CHUCKLING] Sweetheart, oh, my God!

Oh.

H-Have you...

[SIGHS] Yes.

Wow!

- Wow!
- Are you mad?

No!

No, no.

No, I just don't... I don't want to...

I just don't want to think about it.

But, sweetie, did you...
did you use protection?

- Yes, of course.
- Yes, very good.

Nicely done, honey.

[SIGHS] Well...

[LAUGHS]

You... You're a young woman.

So it was...

was bound to happen at some point.

This is... This is the first
"some point," though, right?

- Yes, Mom.
- Yes. Okay.

And, um...

he asked me to leave with him
when he goes pro.

And you said no, right?
[CHUCKLING] 'Cause, like...

Well...


Right?

♪♪

- What?! Wow!
- Are you mad?

Yes, I'm mad, Zoey!

You're gonna throw your entire life away

to go follow some guy?!

But, Mom, you just said
I am a young woman

who can make my own decisions!

That's what I'm supposed to say, Zoey.

You're not supposed to believe me!

Zoey, I did not raise you like this!

You're a woman who's just
gonna throw it all away

for some guy?

You worked so hard to get in here!

- Mom, there are colleges everywhere.
- What?

I mean, I could go to school
online if I wanted to.

Online?

Yeah.

Online is if you want
to join the militia

or become a Wiccan priestess

or cyberstalk Dennis Haysbert.

Sweetheart, I had
such high hopes for you!

You did?

You know I didn't, sweetie.

Yet here you are,
because I have worked so hard

to set such a good example for you.

That's why I'm always
telling you that I'm a doctor.

- No, it's not.
- No, it's not, but...

[SIGHS]

Zoey, you are way too young

to make this kind of
life-changing decision.

Mom, there are kids my age
making big choices much earlier.

But, Zoey, you are so much more

than a basketball girlfriend.

- I know.
- Do you?

I know, and I still will be.

I mean, I still want to be a designer,

and I still want to run Vogue,

and I still want to organize a Met Ball.

I mean, my dreams haven't changed,

and no matter what,
I still want to pursue them.

So, then why are you letting this guy

get in front of all of them?

[VOICE BREAKING] I'm not.

I mean, I haven't even
made up my mind yet.

You don't think I know that my life,

my family, my friends are here?

♪♪

I don't know what I'm gonna do.
I don't know what I'm doing.

♪♪

[INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS]

Okay, I got an extra large
seafood tower, triple shrimp.

- [GASPS] That's us!
- That's us!

Do you guys have bottle service?

No, they do not.

Oh, I see someone ordered
the Heart of the Ocean.

Are we celebrating something?

- No.
- No.

Hmm. Okay, girls.

Not only have you broken about
seven NCAA rules,

but also, the university's honor code,

which it takes very seriously.

In fact, the only thing
we take more seriously

is our lucrative athletic
apparel sponsorship deal

with Adidas.

And you've put that in jeopardy.

We're sorry, Dean Parker.

You know, we were just
so strapped for cash,

and we didn't think
it would hurt anybody.

We didn't think of Adidas.

Hey, look, I get it...
college is expensive.

You wouldn't believe some of
the things I did as an undergrad

to get money...
sleep studies, plasma sales,

amateur magic shows...

Do either of you ladies have a quarter?

Oh. Another time.

[CLEARS THROAT]

Anyway, you will be punished

with hours of community service.

But because I understand your struggle,

I think I can help you out.

How about I pay you $ an hour

to paint all those benches
around campus?

bucks an hour?

I'd rather give myself
a Yankee Candle Brazilian.

We'll... We'll take it. [CHUCKLES]

Mm-hmm.

Cheers.

[SLURPS]

I should really get going.

Coach wants to get
a practice in tomorrow morning

before we leave for Arizona.

Aww, can't you fake you're sick

- and just stay this weekend?
- [SCOFFS]

I mean, we can lie in bed,

and I'll nurse you until you're better

while we watch
"Love & Basketball" on a loop.

[CHUCKLES]

I would so love to hide out with you,

but we'd have people hunting us down.

Yeah. Your coach on you?

Oh, yeah. All over me.

He said I need to get my head straight.

Focus on my game, not my girl.

Uhm, I'm kinda hating him right now.

Nah, he's just lookin' out.

No, but I don't get why people think

that we can't make our own decisions.

I mean, I'm going with you.

Wait. You decided?

I did, and I am.

I mean, we're grown-ass people,

and I wish
everyone would treat us like it.

That's exactly
what I came at Coach with.

Then he was all like, I'm just a kid

who has no idea how real life
is gonna be in the pros.

[SCOFFS LIGHTLY]

Apparently,
I'm gonna be gone all the time

with summer leagues
and practices and away games...

Oh, God, now I really hope
you don't go to Utah.

I mean, that's a lot
of alone time for me.

Z-Zo, I-I can't control where I end up.

Yeah. No. No, I know.

I-I was just kidding. Kind of.

Kind of?

Look, Cash, I'm just trying
to think big picture

the way everyone's on our asses to.

A year ago, big picture

was me getting to college
and playing well.

I finally made that happen, and now
it's, like, all new pressures.

And I don't want to add to that.

[SIGHS] So you're saying
you don't want to come with me?

Wait. What? No! No.

Where's... Where's that coming from?

I just said I did.

Wait.

Is that what you want?

For me to let you off the hook?

I just want things to be easy.

Yeah, and they can be easy

if you're % sure of what you want.

You're % sure, yeah?

♪♪

[SCOFFS] Oh, my God.
You gotta be kidding me.

Look, Zo, I love you.

You know that.

And if this was a year from now

and I knew where I was
and what my life was like there,

I'd be able to give you a head's-up
about what you're stepping into.

And why the hell
didn't you think of that

before you asked me to go with you

- on national television?!
- Because I meant it!

[VOICE BREAKING] Do you still?

Yes, but...

No!

No buts, because "but" isn't good enough

for a huge, life-changing decision!

I was about to leave my family
and my home!

I know.

I know. And I'm sorry.

I'm just as confused as you are.

This whole thing is new to me and...

Yeah.

I-I don't know what to expect.

And I...

Neither do I, but I was willing
to take the chance.

[SIGHS] I just don't want
to break your heart.

It's a little too late for that.

You know what? It's time for you to go.

Zoey, come on...

No, just please go.

♪♪

[DOOR OPENS]

Goodbye, Zoey.

[CRYING]

[DOOR CLOSES]

[SNIFFLES]

[CRYING]

[CRYING]

[KNOCK ON DOOR]

[SNIFFLES]

Is Ana around?

She got this dope new
track jacket I wanted to borrow.

No. She isn't here.

Cool. I'll just take it
without asking, then.

[CRYING]

Not that I care, but...

are you crying?

[VOICE BREAKING] No.

Good.

'Cause if you were, I wouldn't care.

[CRYING]

I know I seem like a cold bitch,

but I can't walk out of this room

leaving you crying alone
into a comforter.

[SNIFFLES]

It might be a minute.

What's going on?

[WHIMPERS]

Is it Cash?

Yeah.

What happened?

We broke up.

Oh, honey.

I'm sorry I've been so selfish lately.

- I just feel so stupid.
- No.

You... Okay, you have nothing
to feel stupid about, okay?

This love sh*t hurts, is all.

Can I say one thing?

I'm really glad
you're not following him.

I know we're kind of
not speaking right now,

but this place would really suck
without you.

[CHUCKLES] Thank you.

[BLOWS NOSE]

- Can I say one more thing?
- Yeah.

You sound like my grandpa
when you blow your nose.

- [LAUGHS]
- [LAUGHS]

I hate you.
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