10x07 - Snoopy Camino Lindo in: Quick and Dirty Squirrel sh*t

[bunniefuu]

♪♪

[Thunder crashes]
[Theme music plays]

♪♪

[Whirring]

[Whirring]

Man: It's alive!
[Thunder rumbles]

♪♪

[Thunder crashes]

Announcer: From the studio
that brought you

"Paranormal Activity"
and "Sinister"...

- Did you hear that?
- It's coming from the attic.

...learn what happens...

Aah!

...when a studio heavily
invests in the wrong IP.

Run!

[Panting]

[Laughs]

- It's a Weeble!
- It glows in the dark!

How is it doing that?

Announcer: A property so far
outside our target demographic,

we were insane
to make this movie.

Why won't you fall down?

They never fall down!
Never!

[Laughter]

- Flag down the car!
- Help!

[Laughing, screaming]

[Whirring]
[Thud]

[Groans]

[Munching]
♪♪

[Gulps]

[Sniffing]

Ruh-roh!

Oh, Shaggy, what did you put
a Scooby Snack in my bra?

- Like, what? No!
- Oh, I think it's a lump.

Like, dude, you should get
that checked out, like, A.S.A.P.

I'm sure it's fine.
My boobs are just lumpy.

♪♪

Scalpel.
She was lucky.

Caught the tumor just in time.

And I would've gotten away
with it, too,

if it weren't for those meddling kids.

Our baby is hideous!

- What have we done?
- Why, God?! Why!

It's an abomination.

[Sobs]

[Doorbell rings]

- I'll get it, honey.
- Hello.

I have come to drink your blood!

[Screams]
Ha-ha!

It's going
to be okay, honey.

He can't come in
unless we invite him in.

- Isn't that so, you bastard?
- Yep.

- Aah!
- Ha! Ha-ha-ha!

Come here now.

Wow, well-played.
Good job.

Hey! [Grunts]

Aah!

♪♪

[Elephant trumpets]

Whenever I travel
on the ark

to avoid the destruction
of the world,

I go first class.
[Chuckles]

Captain Noah, iceberg right ahead!

So? The ark was designed by
God himself. It's unsinkable.

I can't believe
a fancy show horse

like you would ever fall
for a stow-away donkey like me.

My father would never
approve, Jack.

But, you know,
glub-glub drowny-drowny.

Come on, mount me
with that donkey D.

Aah!

[Elephant trumpets]

Oh, no!

- Aaah!
- [Elephant trumpets]

[Quartet plays]

God's Rolls-Royce.

Let this be my eternal tomb
as I go down with the ship.

This ship, which God designed.
Screw you, God!

[Gurgles]

[Elephant trumpets]

[Splash]

[Monkey chittering]

- Oh, I can see my house from here.
- Focus, Rose.

We need to stay alive
until the rescue arks arrive.

And if they ...

[Gasping, panting]

We're all gonna die!
[Squeaks]

- Hang on, Jack. I love you.
- And I you, Rose.

I want to start
a family with you.

A beautiful family
of hybrid donkey-horses.

- Those are called mules.
- Mules?!

I'm not sh**ting a mule
out of my ass.

They come out of your vag*na.

- My vag*na?!
- Rose!

Ohh... No, don't!

Oh, no.
Jack, you're sinking...

Ah, it's cold!

♪♪

Announcer: Representing
the United States, from OCP,

it's RoboCop.

And from China,
it's the People's Republic's

awesome, definitely not stolen,
tech corporation

with the RoboCarp.

Halt!
You are under arrest

for copyright infringement.

No, you are arrest, white devil.

Oh, sh*t.

[Machinegun f*ring]

- Follow the yellow brick road.
- Follow the yellow brick road?

That's right!
Tourists come from all over

the world to walk
its golden trail.

Old Shelly O'Malley
helped build it.

- Shelly?
- Oh. I'm on a schedule

and don't care. So...

♪ It represents
the blood of our kin ♪

♪ The blood of our kin,
the blood of our kin ♪

♪ They ignored the OSHA rules ♪

♪ The local codes
of safety guides ♪

♪ Generations gone,
worked to death, children d*ed ♪

♪ I lost my hands ♪

[Laughs]

We've got much more information
in our gift shop,

if you'll just ...
Oh, she's gone.

♪ La-la-la la-la ♪
Garbage!

Wow, Liv.
A real Hollywood party.

Oh, Maddie,
you sweet Wisconsin rube.

You deserve a taste of your sister's
glamorous life once in a while.

Liv Rooney,
shining as bright as ever.

- And with a twin?
- I'm .

- All right, and your twin is...
- Also , idiot.

Oh, look!
An open bar.

Just a warning, Maddie ...
out here,

teenage actresses are passed
around like party favors.

Wow! Trevor Trembo from
that super hero movie!

You ladies looked parched,
so I gathered these libations.

- We're underage.
- Age is just a number.

So is - - .

[Slurping]

Exit stage left...

Wow, I feel like we have
targets on our backs.

Hi. Is one of you Liv Rooney?

Duh! I'm the one
without glasses?

Yeah, I don't know your whole
life story, but cool, great.

Anyway, that kid from
"Stranger Things"

who looks like a soft-boiled
egg wanted me to ask

if you and your sister
will make out with him

- in his UberBLACK.
- I got this one.

- You can tell that creep ...
- We'll do it.

Okay. Enjoy your decision.

Liv, I thought you didn't do that.

Maddie, if I could get on
"Stranger Things",

it could make my whole career.

Come on, take on
for Team Rooney!

Hello?
Soft-boiled egg?

Sorry, girls, you snooze you lose.

I can't believe I'm a producer
on "Stranger Things" now!

And I have a featured role!

[Engine starts, tires squeal]

Damn you, egg boy
from "Stranger Things"!

Can we go back to Wisconsin now?

How would you like
a nice Hawaiian punch?

Oh, yeah!

Oh! Ohh, yeah.

Oh, yeah!

Oh, yeah!

Oh, yeah!

Together: Slender Man,
Slender Man, suit and tie.

Slender Man, Slender Man,
you will die.

Nothing?

[Grunting] Shh. Listen.
I think he's coming.

[Screaming]

Sorry I'm late.
Far.

- You were far.
- Uh...

- Slender Man?
- Oh, my God.

- We ...
- [Panting] Just give me a sec.

Give me a sec.
Whoa!

Okay.
Hey, you girls like Five Guys?

'Cause I am addicted.

[Laughs]

Whew!
All right, I'm okay.

Seriously, the fries are amazing.

Five Guys.
Man, I'm tellin' you...

Sorry, sorry. Go on.

Mary-Sue Elizabeth of Brighton
Drive has earned our wrath.

- We summon thee!
- Why are you fat?

- Anna!
- Yeah, I deserve that.

Look, the first time
I was spotted

I was on a cleanse.
Nice and slim.

So the girl called me Slender Man.

I have to live up to the name.

And you know the pressure

of keeping your weight
down all the time.

Well, you will, girls.
Believe me, you will.

Slender Man, Slender Man,
all the children run.

- Slender Man ...
- Okay. Hey, hey, hey.

Call me Stuart.
Right?

I feel like you're
fat-shaming me now.

Stuart, Stuart, to him it's fun.

You shouldn't worry about
what other people think of you.

You kids are all right.
Here. Take this.

Show it at Five Guys,
and you'll get $ off your order.

But don't forget
to make sure they see

the referral number
so I get $ off, too.

Stuart, come on.
Focus.

This is a picture of Mary,
and here is a lock of her hair.

You have to go k*ll her now.
She called me fat.

You know, I feel like
there's a subtext here,

and it's making me uncomfortable.

Okay, we have to go home, Stuart.

If our moms wake up
and we're not there...

Yeah, yeah.
I got it. Fine.

- Mary on Brighton.
- Ugh! Do your job!

Ugh, these fries are really good.

Yeah, you see?
You get it, Mary.

[Chuckles] I could eat
Five Guys every day.

Looks like you did eat
five guys, fatty. Mm.

Yeah, that kind of hurts, Mary.

Announcer: Welcome back
to the fifth-annual brodeo,

A.K.A. the brony rodeo.

And out of the chute comes
Zeb Deacons,

riding last year's reigning
brodeo champ, Glitter Snap.

When not bronying, Glitter Snap
is a corporate attorney

for a yoga lifestyles brand

and also enjoys go-karting
in his spare time.

- Aah! Aah!
- Oh, that does not look good, folks.

Oh, [bleep]. Ah!

And Glitter Snap's wife Helen
makes the difficult decision...

No! No, no, no, no!
Wait, wait, wait!

This isn't Walmart.
Where am I?

Happy Family Midge!

- Welcome to the Island of Recalled Toys.
- Recalled toys?

But I teach kids about
the beauty of pregnancy.

Well, many of us are pulled off
the shelves unfairly ... like me!

Anyway, you'll have
plenty of company here.

There's very little demand for
a lawn dart that kills children.

Or a sky dancer
that pokes out eyeballs.

Or an Elmo with Tourette's [bleep]!

But we're all accepted here.

You're home.
Right, everybody?

♪ An Easy Bake Oven
that's hotter than hell ♪

♪ A Tarzan who jacks it
while trying to yell ♪

♪ On Christmas day, you'll see ♪

♪ They won't let us
near anyone's tree ♪

♪ The Cabbage Patch dolly
who'll scalp your head bald ♪

♪ A Viper that chokes kids
ain't long for the mall ♪

♪ It's hard to see
how we ever passed toy R&D ♪

♪ Now we're here on the island
of toy travesties ♪

Wow, I guess I can really
be myself with you guys.

- Whoo!
- Ah, just the miracle of ...

[Retches]

[Screaming]
Oh, god! No!

[Crying]

♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪

♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪

♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk-a-wawk
wawk bawk bawk ♪

♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪

♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪

♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk-a-wawk
wawk bawk bawk ♪

♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪

♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪

♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk-a-wawk
wawk bawk bawk ♪

- Ba-gawk!
- Bawk.