03x02 - Parasites Lost

[bunniefuu]

Parasites Lost

Breaker, breaker, this is the Duck.
You wanna back off them hogs?

- Ten-four. About five miles or so.
- Ten, roger.

I'd better check the fluid levels.

We're okay on Coke syrup.

Oh, man, come on!

Coming through!

- What's that black cr*cker?
- A tomato.

You're eating a sandwich
from a men's room?

What's the worst thing
that could happen?

It's like a party in my mouth,
and everyone's throwing up.

Look. One of them things
like on our mud flaps.

- Yosemite Sam?
- I'm gonna put my moves on her.

Jerk! No one hoots at my captain unless
they wanna go to the next level.

Fry, I'd rather not dignify them
with an ass-whipping.

Yo, sexy mama, let's get busy
and freaky, in that order.

How would you like it if Leela said
she wanted to make love with you?

I got five minutes. She looks
pretty good for a truck-stop chick.

You take that back! She does not
look good for a truck-stop chick!

You're right, she don't got
enough meat for me.

She does too!
She's got more meat than a cow.

Meat than a cow!

I can't please Leela no matter
what I do. I just want her to like me.

Well, there's always hope.

We gotta go fix
the plasma fusion boiler.

- Who are you?
- Scruffy. A janitor.

- Why aren't you fixing the boiler?
- Schedule conflict.

There, fixed forever.

Scruffy's gonna die
the way he lived.

Oh, marmalade.

Oh, the hypochondriac's back.
What is it this time?

- My lead pipe hurts a little.
- That's normal. Next.

He's a witch!

- Did you eat anything unusual recently?
- No.

- What about that bathroom egg salad?
- I've had better.

Egg salad? Zoidberg will have to
examine your gastrointestinal tract.

Come, everyone.
Give Fry some privacy.

If you can't see well enough, there'll
be a close-up on this video screen.

We'll need to have a look
inside you with this camera.

Guess again.

- Gross!
- Go, man, go.

Watch for any subtle irregularity
in Fry's bowel.

It's gorgeous.
That place used to be a dump.

- Worms? Puke-a-tronic!
- So the eggs in that sandwich were...

Correct! Worm eggs. And the
mayonnaise wasn't too fresh either.

It's nauseating, man. Is there no way
to get rid of the disgusting maggots?

Only one. We'll have to travel
deep inside Fry...

...in this!

- Shotgun!
- Shotgun!

In each gastro-survival kit is a rain
slicker, a disposable fun camera...

...and something to protect you
against bacteria: a harpoon.

Yo, old guy. Why do we have to use
micro-droids? Can't you just shrink us?

No. That would require extremely tiny
atoms. Have you priced those lately?

- I'm not made of money. Leave me alone!
- Me next!

Your net suits will let you experience
Fry's worm-infested bowels...

...as if you were actually
wriggling through them.

There's no part of that sentence
I didn't like.

- Is everyone present?
- Definitely.

Here's the plan. We enter the ear,
drip down the back of the throat...

...and make for the bowel. There,
we'll irritate the splenic ganglion...

...and cause a spasm, expelling,
among other things, the parasites.

- I'll tell Fry to wash out his ear.
- No! Fry can't know about the mission.

If he finds out, the worms
will defend themselves.

- They know everything he knows.
- Like how to make ice-cream soup?

- Leela! Your role is to distract Fry.
- Can do!

Leela, you should really try
a facial scrub for your pores.

- Look, a starling!
- Really?

Be very quiet. We're in the ear.

- Okay, professor.
- What?

What about what?

What if we go for a walk, possibly,
because it's such a lovely day?

I'd love to.

- Let's go where he won't put his finger.
- It's hopeless!

Wait! We just have to get past
the eardrum.

- What are they doing to Fry's brain?
- They're giving it a tune-up.

A quick glance suggests
they've doubled his thinking power.

My God! Soon he'll be smarter
than Cher!

Ah, the scent of a rose. Curious
how aromatic hydrocarbons...

...can evoke deep emotions.
For you.

That's a beautiful thought.

And you expressed it
without spewing crumbs at me.

Brace yourselves. We're entering
the interior of Fry's nose.

We're at finger alert five!

Let's just pray nothing stimulates
his smell receptors.

Nobody make a smell.

Quick! We can escape through
that capillary into the sinus.

Usually you don't know
a thing about human anatomy.

I learned it from a decongestant
commercial: "Soothing action..."

- Where are we, the ass?
- The heart.

- Better known as the love muscle.
- Which digests food.

We should be safe so long
as nothing makes it b*at faster.

- Abandon ship!
- No!

Set course for
that cholesterol-encrusted valve.

It's good cholesterol,
but it spreads like bad cholesterol.

They're Jazzercising Fry's muscles.

He'll be as strong and flexible as
Gumby and Hercules combined.

Gum-ercules?! I love that guy.

It's that jerk from the truck stop.
Let's go blend in with those pimps.

I don't think so.
Sir, you owe this lady an apology.

Fry, no! He's bulging with
what could be muscles.

I got your apologies right here.

Sorry, ma'am. I've learned a lesson
about not ogling cans I won't forget.

Ah, the stomach.
Scenic gateway to the bowel.

Abandon ship!

No. Don't give up now. We're
close to the pyloric sphincter.

We made it!

There it is,
the stately capitol of Fry's bowel.

A heavily-guarded fortress
surrounding the splenic ganglion.

I've heard of that.

If we can stimulate it, the bowel
will convulse, expelling the worms.

But what about the worms
in other areas?

This is gonna be one hell
of a bowel movement.

- He'll be lucky to have bones left.
- All right, let's mush some worms!

Worms to battle stations!

I had a great time. The flowers,
the puddle, the way you hurt that guy.

But can I axe you something?
Why did you do all that stuff?

There's something I've wanted
to tell you.

But when I try, my mouth feels
like it's stuffed with peanut butter.

- Is it about Bender?
- No, it's about you and me.

- And Bender?
- Bender's not involved. Leela...

...I love you.
- You do?

But only recently have I been able
to articulate my thoughts.

I love you, Leela.
And I always have.

Fry, that's the sweetest,
most wonderful... Wait!

Recently? Like since you ate
that sandwich?

Yeah. I don't know why, but my life
really turned around that day.

Stay here.

Freshen your naugateena?

Please, I need something
to settle my stomach.

The nerve is through here.
Where's Zoidberg?

You'll never guess
where I've been.

One! Two! Three!

There it is.
The pelvic splenic ganglion.

Tickle it, then get ready for the ride
of your lives.

- Don't even think about it.
- Leela! You're in time to help.

If we don't get rid of the worms now,
they'll burrow so deep...

...not even Hermes' famous
jerk prunes could dislodge them.

- I call it Caribbean Drano.
- Fry will be stuck with worms forever.

Perfect.

- I'm okay.
- Leela, you ignorant dope!

- Now the worms will be in Fry forever.
- So?

- Maybe Fry is better off with worms.
- Oh, that's stupid.

If anyone wants to tell me what's
going on, I'll be in the lounge.

Of all the parasites I've had,
these worms are among...

They are the best!
How can I repay you for saving them?

I'll think of something.

Hello, what's all this, then?

Apartment -I.
The old me would joke about that.

It's a little under-furnished. I'm
thinking of having a window installed.

The view's perfect already.

That's the corniest thing I've ever
heard. Let me show you the bedroom.

In a minute.

A holophonor?

Only a few people can play that,
and they're not very good.

They don't have you
to inspire them.

I don't have words to say
how wonderful you are.

I haven't felt this happy
since double-soup Tuesday.

With you, every day
is like double-soup Tuesday.

Oh, Fry, I love what you've become.

What I've become...

- What is it?
- There's something I have to find out.

- Who controls this bowel?
- Who wants to know?

- I am the lord mayor of Cologne!
- You mean colon?

- State your business.
- Have you ever been in love?

I thought I was once.

But then I remembered we reproduce
with spore clouds.

A wonderful girl loves me, but I need
to know if it's me she loves...

...or just what you worms
have made of me. So...

...I'm asking you to leave.
- Listen, you! I was born here.

I raised a cloud of children here. My
ancestors came here on the sandwich.

No one can make me leave!

- Get out or the brain gets it!
- He's bluffing!

He wouldn't willingly make
himself an idiot.

Obviously you've never been in love.

Now, the hand-eye coordination lobe.

You've damaged your brain...

...but no more than a few drinks
or five minutes on a cell phone.

I was working my way toward the
control center of the heart and lungs.

- lf I k*ll myself, you die with me.
- Wait a minute, man.

I hope Satan has a nice colon,
because that's where you're going.

Stop! We'll leave. But one day
you'll be eating a fast-food burger...

...and boom!
You'll be crawling with us again.

Ever wonder what makes
"special sauce" so special? Yo.

Fry? I missed you. Did you find out
what you needed to find out?

- I'm about to. Let me play for you.
- You don't have to.

- I'm still seduced from before.
- Please. It's important to me.

- What does that mean?
- I don't know.

I got nervous and started thinking
about neck bolts.

Wow, did you see that vase break?
It was all like:

- What's happened to you?
- I got rid of the worms.

- Why would you do that?
- I needed to know who you loved...

...me or them.
- Well, which of you wrote that sonnet?

I did! I think. It was probably - .
But that's how I really felt, I swear.

- I don't know.
- Let me try to be romantic on my own.

I've got massage oil. I'll give you a
back rub just like I used to give Amy.

She always seemed to...
Uh-oh.

Sorry you struck out. If it's any
consolation, my life is great.

Babes, bucks, I got it all.

Well, at least I learned
Leela's a lost cause. I give up.

There you go! Good night.

I gotta get up early to go
parasailing with movie stars.