01x03 - Episode 3

Episode transcripts for the TV show "This Is Going to Hurt". Aired: February 8, 2022 - present.*
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Based on the best-selling memoir of the same name, the series follows junior doctor Adam in his chaotic job in OBGYN.
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01x03 - Episode 3

Post by bunniefuu »

How you doing? You're a doctor. I'm
not doing your bloody job for you.

Always with your nose in a book.
You probably haven't got there yet.

Your nose is the pointy bit
on the front of your face.

I wouldn't recognise your mum
if I bumped into her in John Lewis.

What does your girlfriend do?
Graphic design.

Will you marry me? No.
What's going on?

You misdiagnosed his mother so

he was delivered about 15
weeks too early.

You're lucky to have Adam to
learn from. Don't do what he does.

Yeah, bit of bad news, I'm afraid.

The mum's lodged a complaint.

I really did try my best for you.

Hey, someone! Look, find a doctor.

She's fainted.
I think she's having a fit.

Is anyone here a doctor?

We need a doctor! Anyone?

Are you...? A GP.

Dentist.

Trainee dentist.

BELL RINGS

TANNOY: Please be seated,
ladies and gentlemen...

Ah, right.
..as the second half

is about to commence. sh*t.

Excuse me.

Excuse me. Sorry.

The locum didn't turn up.
I'm really sorry.

I'll make it up to you
if it's the last thing I do.

I think this might be
the last thing you do.

Hi. Hi.

How was the first half, then?

Oh, my God, the, the music
and the costumes....

And how do they remember
all the words?

It's really... It was awful.

I think you could hear Stephen
Sondheim spinning in his grave.

I think he's still alive,
isn't he? Poor man.

Could I grab anyone a drink
from the bar before the...?

Plus, we were saddled with an
understudy,

with barely ten minutes' notice.

That is really annoying. Which part?

Would your friend like a chocolate?

Boyfriend, actually.

TICKING

HE GASPS
Stop fidgeting!

I don't know if Adam mentioned,

but we'd love to take you
for dinner.

Oh, we should probably
get off, actually.

You sure we can't tempt you
for a quick bite?

We've got a table booked at this

little French place
on Poland Street.

My friend's a waiter there.

Well...

I'll call you in a couple of weeks.

f*cking hell.

The handshakes.

To be fair, she always
used to give me a nice hug

when she dropped me off at school.

And a note saying,
"Have a successful term."

I'm normally great with mums.

It's a shame you were late.

Well, I can't do half
a Caesarean, can I?

I know. It's just...
it wasn't quite,

"We'll tell her over a nice dinner,"
was it?

Oh, she's known ever since she
caught me w*nk*ng off to He-Man.

Look on the bright side.
You're never gonna

have to sit next to her
at the top table now, are you?

I never said never.

Didn't say yes, though, either,
did you?

No, I said that... You know
what I said. And you agreed.

Do you wanna grab a drink?
How about ten?

Why don't you have another go?

Because... Give her a call
and take her out for dinner.

..you would have to prise my cold
dead hands from the phone.

For me?

She's not gonna be able to do
this week anyway.

It's a full moon.

HE HOWLS

WHISPERS: That's it.

Nice big breaths.

Did you know that if you
spread out the surface area

of your lungs and put them
on a football pitch...

..that's an instant red card
and a direct free kick?

Don't listen to anything
your mum says, by the way.

She's just a bit upset with me.

So's my mum, actually.

Maybe it's a mum thing.

Oh, and Harry is, too.

Maybe it's a...a people thing.

BACKGROUND CHATTER

Hi! Oh! Oh, God, sorry.

f*ck's sake.

Is that your statement?

Not even started mine yet.

Well, I've only managed seven words
and a coffee stain.

Get me a latte.

Bring it up to labour ward.

Please.

Tell me you don't have to
work with that twat.

Er, who, Adam?

Oh, er, no, he's all right, really.

sh*t, sorry.

I didn't mean to be rude
about your friend.

I was trying to...

I'm Ben.

That's my name. Obviously.

Er, Shruti. I know. I mean...

Do you like eating pizza?

That sounds like I'm saying
you're fat.

I don't think you're fat.

I think you're not fat. I...

I think I'm gonna
just start again. I'm Ben.

Would you like to go
for something to eat,

for example, a pizza?

Er, yeah, that sounds nice.

Great.

Er, when? Like, tonight?

Oh, er... Tomorrow?

Saturday?

March?

Er, tomorrow. Tomorrow...
Tomorrow could work.

But it's just us three, right?
Like, you, me and Adam?

BEN LAUGHS

I'll meet you round
the front, like seven...ish?

Yep.

Er, Beatrice, you're
in Room Two. Second baby.

Apparently she's
Jason Orange's cousin.

ALL: Ooh!

Do with that knowledge as you will.

Room Three is to remain empty

for the next 24 hours, I'm afraid.

The only good room?
Yeah, so no water births.

The Secretary of State
for God knows what

is coming around tomorrow,
so I'm assuming that

we all wanna keep our jobs.

They must think the entire NHS
smells like fresh paint.

Still, new computer.

It's been years since I've been able
to type words with G in it.

LAUGHTER

I wouldn't get too attached, love.

Once the right honourable bastard
has done his little tour,

that'll all be gone faster than
they can say "A&E closure".

Right, who fancies twins?

DRILL WHIRS

I know I can count on you

to keep everything perfect.
Yes, Nigel.

And you're going to keep
Room Three free?

Look, if the patients
don't need it, Nigel.

Ah, Kay, bit of good news for you.

They've dropped the complaint?

Ministerial visit tomorrow,
and you get to shake his hand.

That explains why we've got
the hospital's only mop today.

Yeah, shouldn't be too taxing.

Wander round the ward smiling
like a gay proctologist,

then tell a quick,
charming anecdote,

and it's off to the meeting room

for a plate of Sainsbury's
cheapest sandwiches. You on?

It would be my honour. Good man.

ALARM BLARES
Right. 24 hours

to make this place look like
a labour ward.

ALARM CONTINUES

Ah, traditionally at this point,

a couple of you would be running
to the emergency.

Oh, we usually wait a bit.
It's faulty.

It randomly goes off
for a couple of seconds.

If it keeps going, we'll run.
But normally it just...

ALARM STOPS
..stops.

How often does this happen?

Er, couple of times an hour.
Well, add that to the list.

Of course.
And what would you like me

to take off the list to make time?

Right.

I'm on it.
PAGER BEEPS

What's wrong with her, then?

I couldn't tell you.

Is there someone who could?
She's obviously in pain,

but she won't let us look.

She's being...obstructive.

Meaning? Meaning she told me to f*ck
off in four different languages.

Sounds like she's OK to me.

Oh...

It is not sehr gut news, I'm afraid.

Oh, dear. I am afraid ze whole leg
will have to be cut off.

Oh! I've just ordered
new slippers.

Oh, no. Will it grow back?

No. I don't think it will.

Er, Petr, would you mind
escorting Professor Einstein

back to her laboratory?

Any chance you know
which ward you're on?

Sorry if that
lady was bothering you.

Are you kidding?

She's the best doctor I've seen
since I've been in here.

Is there, er, anything the matter?

Oh, no,
just here for delicious food.

HE LAUGHS
How soundproof

do you think that thing is?

So how can I help you today,
Mrs Winnicka?

I think something coming out.

Of there.

I hope not - labour ward's full.

Er, do you mind if I have
a quick look?

Bend your legs, feet together,
drop your knees to the side.

Well, get on with it.

HE CLEARS THROAT

OK.

Nothing to panic about -

you've got a bit of
a prolapse there.

That's your uterus you can feel
coming out.

Oh! Very common.

There's something we can put inside
to sort of...

..hold it all up there.

Haven't had anything up there
since decimalisation.

I'll get you booked into
urogynae clinic

in the next few days.

Tell you what.

I'll get everything I need
from clinic

and pop back up with it later.

Go on, then, what you waiting for?

Well, everything looks
absolutely fine.

If the tummy pain's settled, then I
think we can....

Mummy's having a conversation.

Why don't we look at your book
for a bit?

Oh, well, like I was saying,
if the tummy pain has settled,

then I think we can probably
get you back home.

If you're sure. If anything changes,
just come back in and see us.

I mean, we are never closed.
Unfortunately.

DAD: Stop.
CHILD GIGGLES

Stop.

Stop it. Would you guys just, like,
hang on one minute, please?

ALARM BLARES
My lady in One is absolutely

desperate for a water birth.

Any chance we can get her
into Room Three?

I'm really sorry,
but it's above my pay grade.

Lockhart needs it empty so we can
show it off to the Minister.

OK, well, I've asked.

Don't you think that they should see
what this place

is really like, rather than some
Sellotaped-together version?

Good plan. And when they sack me,
you gonna pay my mortgage

directly into the bank
or just give me the cash?

RIA: You'd think they'd have picked
a quieter time to come.

Sorry to bother you. But...
And yet here you are.

So someone came in
with nothing the matter

and you sent them home?

No, but... I'm sorry,
I'm quite busy right now.

I probably can't arrange
a full parade in your honour.

No, look. The stickers on her file.

Oh, sh*t. That's a domestic abuse
alert, right?

In the ladies' toilets
there are red stickers

that you put on your notes

if you wanna talk privately
about domestic abuse.

Good spot.

Parade's back on.

Hi! I'm Adam, one of the doctors.

Everything OK?

Nothing to worry about.

Just wondering if I could have
a couple of words with you

in private? Ah, we want to stay with
Mummy, don't we, Ernie?

Well, I do have to examine your wife
in quite a personal way.

I thought you said it was
a couple of words.

Yeah, the words are "vaginal"
and "examination",

and I thought with your son here...
OK.

..it might be better... You'll be
all right, darling? Yeah.

There's a coffee shop downstairs.

Well, I think the Caffe Nero
opposite's probably safer.

Go! Zoom! Zoom!

Is everything OK at home, Anna?

SHE LAUGHS
How do you mean?

Anna, you can tell us.

I mean, you've done the hard
bit already.

Er, the stickers?

ERNIE: Stickers!

Oh, God.

He's always doing this
sort of thing.

ERNIE: Sticky stickers!

ANNA: He loves stickers.
DAD: Ernie?

Ernie!
ERNIE: Sticky stickers.

So sorry.

Come on, then, Miss Marple.

DAD: Oh! Rascal.

ALARM BLARES

WOMAN: False alarm, everyone.

There was something weird
about him.

Yeah.

He was a posh twat.

But you don't get arrested
for that.

SHE SCOFFS
Just as well.

Me? You can talk.

My mum's a dinner lady
and my dad's an electrician.

Well, where did I get the idea
that your parents were doctors?

Ooh, er,
from r*cist stereotypes?

Um, no!

No, no, no. Um...

You... I'm kidding.

You do know that, like,

not everyone gets this handed
to them on a plate, right?

Like, it didn't even occur to
my parents

that I could end up being a doctor.

All right, Little Orphan Annie.

How did you end up here, then?

HE SPLUTTERS

Er, my...
Well, my dad was a doctor, and...

And he had this big plate?

DAD: No, I won't calm down, Anna.

What the hell did you think
this was gonna achieve?

SHRUTI: Sorry, sorry...

I, er... Er, glad I...
Glad I caught you.

Er, I was just discussing
your case a bit more

with my colleague and we thought
that it'd be best

to keep you in overnight.
For a test.

Er, what sort of test?

A...a scan test. So a scan?

Yes, yes, exactly.
ANNA: What's wrong?

Is something wrong with the baby?

Oh, no, I...
I'm sure everything's fine,

I just wanna check
the baby's growing properly.

And you can't do it today?

Er, well, there actually
aren't any slots till morning,

er, so if we just... Just to be
on the safe side, probably best

to stay in overnight.
DAD: That's fine.

I'll keep her company
till visiting hours end.

Is your phone charged? Yep.

ADAM: It's going off every
three minutes.

No, I don't have the error code
for the secondary console.

BEEP

I don't even know what
a secondary console is.

Listen, I need someone
to come here with a tool box,

a jumpsuit, and the phrase
"I have fixed the alarm."

What?

Three weeks?!

Which of Neptune's moons
are you based on, exactly?

Listen, forget it.

Pleasure doing business with you.

Er, can I help you?

Er, I'm starting
an Ultimate Frisbee team.

Do you want in?

ALARM BLARES

Hi.

Sorry, hi.

Are you working on labour ward?

Yeah. Can you see if you can do
anything

to stop the alarm going off
every three seconds?

I'll have a go.

Can you have a success?

ALARM CONTINUES

OK.

Just... Just try to relax.

Oh, it's easy for you to say.

Went to the theatre last night.

Oh, how thrilling for you. In a way.

Had a massive argument
with my mother.

Yes, and have you apologised yet?

Didn't do anything wrong.
She's your mother.

She could be dead tomorrow.

I'll apologise in my eulogy, then.

Yep, there it is, all done.

How's that feel?

Better?

Better.

That's good.

Right, I will get you booked
into clinic

to have it replaced in six months.

Will you be doing it?

Ah, it sort of depends on...

Yeah. Sure. That's a shame.

Just because it's only got
one Michelin star

doesn't mean it's not
a good restaurant, Mum.

Well, how on Earth am I meant to
know how hygienic the kitchen is?

SHRUTI: Ria, who's the
safeguarding midwife?

RIA: Oh, it used to be
Paulette, but she left.

Thank God. If it's urgent,
you can speak to Tracy.

OK, yep, see you at eight.

Bye.
MUM HANGS UP

Don't forget to charge
your broomstick.

SHRUTI: Adam, where's Tracy?

Dunno. Busy getting her MBE?

CRASH, PAINED YELLING

Jesus Christ.
What's happened here?

I'll tell you in a minute.
Can you just check her CTG?

First baby,
41 but otherwise low risk.

What happened in there?

Oh, my God.

Jesus.

Hi, I'm Adam.

One of the doctors.
I was supposed to be

having a water birth.

You never know - one of the pipes
might come down.

Baby's heart rate's improving
nicely. So sorry. We'll, er,

we'll, er, we'll get you
somewhere, another room.

No, we don't have another room,
so... What?

..we'll just clear this one up. OK?

She's the boss.

What happened in there?

I'll tell you what didn't happen -
the bloody alarm.

I pulled it twice, and nothing,

so I put a bit more welly into it...

What did you do? Nothing.

Don't bullshit me.

Well, the...

..the alarm company couldn't
send anyone for three weeks

so I asked a workman to...

..have a go.

And how would you say they did,
out of ten?

SHE SIGHS
f*ck this.

Good news.
We've found you another room.

There's even a pool in there
for water birth.

And can I still eat my placenta?
Sure, why not?

Dr Adam!

How's my little friend?

Oh, you know, just keeping busy.

Cleaned the oven this morning,
then I came down here.

Er, can I ask
what you're doing here?

Sorry, we, er, we did meet
before but it was...

Yeah, it was only briefly.
Er, I'm the doctor

who delivered your nephew.
I know exactly who you are.

That's why I'm asking

if it's appropriate for you
to be here right now.

Um...sorry, yeah, of course.

I was just going. Yeah.

ERIKA: Bye, Dr Adam!

HARRY: 'Go on, then,
what's the damage?'

Er, 10? 11?
HE SIGHS

You remember you said
you'd go through my presentation

when you got home?
Do you remember how

you wanted me to meet my mum
for dinner?

Amazing! Well, good luck.

Let me know how it goes, yeah?
Mm.

And remember the magic words.

If she tries to suck out my soul,
I say, "Expecto Patronum".

I was thinking, "I'm sorry".

Good luck.

Oh, thank you,
you've remembered us at last.

I hope it is to your satisfaction
this time. Are those chives?

And get him a new one,
too, that's gone stone-cold.

Of course, madam.

If you could maybe only spit
in hers?

I can't remember the last time
I saw you two months in a row,

let alone two evenings.

How's work?

Er, yeah, work's...

..fine, yes.

I'm acting registrar now -
did I mention that?

Yes, it's wonderful news.

Your father and I are very proud.

Lesley's son's a professor.

L... Lesley's son's 50.

He said, she said.

Anyway, I'm showing a minister round
the ward tomorrow.

Oh, that's fantastic, darling.

How many doctors
were they choosing from?

Quite a lot, actually.
Hundreds, I expect.

Um, so yesterday, at the...

..at the theatre...

..we didn't really get
the chance to speak properly.

Well, you weren't there
for half of it.

I said something pretty important to
you when I arrived.

When you finally arrived. What I'm
saying is I want to apologise to you

for not saying it in the best way.

But, er, it's important to me.

He's important to me.

When's Gregory's wedding?

I really like the girl
he's marrying, don't you?

She's very charming. I'm talking to
you about Harry, though,

aren't I, Mum? Not Greg.

I'm saying to you
that I live with Harry.

And we only have one bedroom.

Do you want a deposit
on a bigger flat?

Is that what all this is about?

I'm saying to you,
I live with Harry,

I'm very happy, and we love each
other, and we're gay.

Both of you?

HE LAUGHS

Yes, both of...

What was wrong with Helen?

You were so nice together.

I'm gay, Mum. Look. I've watched you
pull your pants down

at far too many
children's birthday parties

to be fazed by one of your
outbursts.

This is not an outburst.

Thank you.

Thank you.

I don't know what you're
getting so uppity about.

I said to your father he seemed...

..fairly nice.
He is nice. He's very nice.

Did I tell you Monica's having
her kitchen redone again?

Glass everywhere.

Looks awful.

Anyway, we're engaged.

We're getting married.

HARRY: So, how'd it go, then?
Yeah, fine.

She didn't k*ll you, then.
That's something. Yeah...

Yeah, she got it.

See? I knew she would,
if you just apologised

for springing it on her.

So, um...what did she say?

Oh, you know, she mainly
talked about herself.

But she was, er...

..interested in you.

And, er, yeah,
asked lots of questions.

Like what?

About your job,

and about your family.

And she said she can't wait
to meet you properly,

next time she's in London,
stealing Dalmatians.

I knew she'd be happy if you

were just straight with her.
I think she'd be happier

if I was straight full stop.

Well, why don't we arrange
for us to all meet up again?

I'm knackered,
I should probably...

Or we can ask her over for dinner.

I can make...fajitas?

Does she like fajitas? I mean,
who doesn't love fajitas?

And I make amazing fajitas. Harry...

These really good...

♪ Let's dance

♪ Put on your red shoes
and dance the blues

♪ Let's dance

♪ To the song they're
playing on the radio

♪ Let's sway

♪ While colour lights up your face

♪ Let's sway

♪ Sway through the crowd
to an empty space

♪ And if you say run

♪ I'll run with you

♪ And if you say hide

♪ We'll hide

♪ Because my love for you... ♪


WHISPERS: Anna?

Anna?

SHE CLEARS THROAT

Anna!

♪ If you should fall
into my arms... ♪

Anna...

ANNA GASPS
My God.

God.

Oh, God, I'm so sorry,
did I wake you?

I know the answer's yes.

I totally woke you up.
I'm so sorry.

What's going on?

Er, I just wanted, er,
to talk to you.

In the middle of the night?

I thought you might wanna
have a chat?

And there's no-one else
you can have a chat with?

Wait here just one, one second,
just give me one second.

Do your scan now, shall we, yeah?

Just watch out...just watch out for
that.

Ooh! Bit cold, sorry.

Do you know
if it's a boy or a girl?

They said she's a girl.

Yeah, I agree.

That's her heart...
HEARTBEAT POUNDS

..b*ating away there.
That all looks good.

You know, it's really a weird
job being an obstetrician.

Cos you always look after
two separate patients at once.

BEEP

It's...

It's just since I've been pregnant.

It's not his fault.
He's not a bad man.

What's changed
since you've been pregnant?

SHE SIGHS
Ernie can be a real handful,

and his work's so stressful
at the moment.

He didn't mean to.

Anna, will you let me help you?

What's that?

Nothing interesting,
just a work form.

This suit too tatty?

Be honest.

If anything, it's impressive

you've managed to keep
your school uniform so neat.

Where's the one you wore
to Hannah's wedding?

Is that the wedding where we swam in
the pond? Yeah.

In the pond.

Well, you look very handsome,

in your suit with your shoes,
and that little bit

of beard you've left on your cheek.

Oh, Jeez.

HARRY: Oh, hey!

No, no, it's Harry.

No, no, he's just in the...the
bathroom,

he'll be out in a sec.

Sorry we didn't get to chat
much at the theatre.

Ha, thank you.

Congratulations for?

Oh, right.

Yes, of course. Silly me. Er...

I can... He's just here now.
I'll pass you over.

It's your mum.

Hi, Mum.

Mum, the signal is bad.

I'll call you back later.

OK, bye.

I told her that we were engaged.

Yeah, I worked that bit out.

This better be
a f*cking amazing explanation.

You don't know her. I'm starting to
think I don't know you.

It was... It was the only thing
I could think to say to...

..make her take us seriously.

Well, wouldn't it be a good start
if you took us seriously?

HE LAUGHS
I proposed. That's serious.

Yeah, and what did I say? Hm?

Let me in. Let me know
what's going on in there.

"How was your day?" "Fine, thanks."

"How was your day?" "Fine, thanks."

"How was your day?" "Fine, thanks."

I knew it was a terrible idea
coming out to her.

How can you say that?

Well, look what's happened.

Come here. Sorry.

It's OK. Well done for telling her.

Er, what's going on here?
Some wiring issue.

How long's it gonna take?
How long's a piece of wire?

Excuse me.

I presume this will be tidied
away within the next hour?

Jesus Christ. It's like downtown
Basra in here.

I didn't think it would be possible

to make the place look worse.

We needed to stop
the alarm misfiring, so I...

Threw a grenade at the ceiling?

God, and don't let
the fire officer see that suit.

The whole place could go up.
NURSE: Can we get a doctor

into Room Three, please? Tracy!

LOCKHART: Clean that up.
The minister will be here...

Hi, I'm Adam, one of the doctors.
We met yesterday.

Straightforward water birth
three minutes ago,

placenta not coming easily,
and now a bit of a bleed.

Right.
BABY CRIES

OK, let's, er, pop you onto the bed

so the doctor can have
a proper look. OK?

Er, and I...
I can still eat my placenta

after this, you're...you're not
gonna take it away?

That's a question for the midwives,
not me, I'm afraid.

Yeah, it's perfectly natural.

Dogs do it.

They also eat their young
and f*ck the furniture.

Don't worry, it won't take long.

Is that pain relief OK?

OK. Right, first things first,
let's see where

this bleed is coming from.

Yep, you've got a bit of
a tear here.

Suture, needle-holder,
scissors, large swabs. Thanks.

MUM CRIES

I'll be two minutes.

Just a quick bit of needlework.

DAD: Isn't she lovely?

That's the bleeding stopped.

TRACY: We'll get her weighed,
as soon as Doctor's left.

Now, delicious....

..placenta.
SQUELCHY SLAP

Hang on. Isn't...?

Isn't this...

..the placenta?

No, that's blood clots
from inside your...

That's blood clots.

SHE RETCHES, PAGER BUZZES

'Crash call to gynae.
Crash call to gynae.'

ALARM BLARES

RESUS NURSE: 26, 27, 28, 29, 30.

NURSE: OK. I've got access.

Er, can I help? I'm one of
the obs and gynae registrars.

What do you know about her?

Er, Magda Winnicka, 85 years old,

long-stay stable vulval cancer
patient, awaiting discharge.

Otherwise fit as a fiddle.
Well, she's not now, is she?

PETR: I'm so sorry, Doctor, I hadn't
checked the notes before.

Oh, for God's sake.

This patient has a valid
Do Not Resuscitate form.

Is everybody happy to stop CPR now?

No, come on,
we can give her a good sh*t.

Resuscitation discontinued at 10:42.

ADAM: She was absolutely fine
yesterday.

I fitted her a pessary,

she was up in bed, talking.
We're not going against

a Do Not Resuscitate order
authorised by the patient.

Are you happy to certify death?

DOOR CLOSES

I took my mum for dinner,
by the way.

Total disaster.

Mostly my fault.

I told her I was getting married,

which was a bit of a lie.

I mean, I asked him, but he said no,

which is fair enough, really.

I always used to reckon
I was good at medicine and...

..bad at the other stuff.

Not doing great at either right now.

PEN SCRATCHES

Don't you dare haunt me.

DOOR CLOSES

Oh, yes, yes.

I can see zat you will probably
be dead by...

..Freitag.

Zat one zere,

she has the worse case
of worms I ever, ever seen.

That's her bloody surname.

Have another look.

She's not on the antenatal ward.
They told me she's here.

Just tell me what room she's in.

RIA: Of course,
if you'll give me a moment.

Is this a joke?

What am I meant to do?

Anna, please don't
worry about it, OK?

It's gonna be all right.
DOOR OPENS

So, er, OK, we're gonna
sort it out, all right?

Sort what out? Er...

..we just need to run a few
more tests.

How long is this gonna take?

I'm sure it won't take long.

Mr Hanson, actually,
I'd prefer if you could give us

a few more minutes. You need to
drop your attitude.

Angus. Please. She's had you in here
all night.

She's fannying around, clearly
doesn't know what she's doing.

Why don't I get someone else
to come in

and do the scan, then, yeah?

Just do your little tests,

and we'll get home.

LOCKHART: Spit-spot, team,
they'll be here any moment.

Ah. I guess pyjamas are probably
better than nylon and vomit.

I had a patient die today.

Someone...

You know,
someone I really cared for.

Well, you can't have cared for her
that well if she d*ed.

I thought I might go to her funeral.

You're not going
to a patient's funeral.

It's unprofessional.

Did I say "go to her funeral"
or did I say

"f*ck her grandchildren"?

Er...

I don't want to be unprofessional,
I just wanna...

..wanna make sure that there's,
er, a friendly face there.

Oh, you gonna make some
balloon animals as well?

We've got boundaries for a reason.

sh*t happens. You can't just
let yourself feel it all.

RIA: They're just leaving
the main building.

Be with you in three minutes.

LOCKHART: Eyes right.

How long is this gonna take?
I just wanna monitor

the baby's heart for 15 minutes.

Does it have to be that long? Why
don't I put a Do Not Disturb sign

on the door, just to stop anyone
coming in, cos the doors

don't have locks here.

Fine.

ERNIE: Neeeowwww!

Shut that child up.

TEARFULLY: Ernie, darling,
don't do that.

CHATTER
CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS

Call security now. Room One.

LOCKHART: Kay! Get back here.

Everything OK?

Yeah. We're, er, done here.
Just heading home.

Thanks very much
for all your help, love.

Anything I can do, Shruti?

The problem I was worried about
is a problem-problem.

This is the second full day
of being messed around

by this department.
And just so you know, Dr...

..er, Kay, I am going to
complain about all this.

Just give me five minutes
with your wife, please, sir,

and then you can complain
to the chief executive,

the Health Secretary,
and Princess Michael of Kent

for all I care. We're leaving.
Come on.

No. Hey!

That's as*ault. Did you see that?

He assaulted me. Come on. Ernie...

Get out of my way. You know what,
maybe we should just go home.

Sweetheart, listen, listen, listen.

Can we just get Ernie?
Shut your mouth.

No, hey... Come with us, please.
This is mental.

Totally unnecessary. This way, sir.

I, I need to speak
to somebody senior.

No, you need to come with us.

ANGUS: Tell them!
I've done nothing wrong.

I'll leave this with you, Shruti.

ANGUS: This is ridiculous.
Who do I need to speak to?

Well done.
ANGUS: Anna!

LOCKHART: This is our most
recently refurbished suite.

CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS
VISITORS GASP

Well, that was, er,
something of a surprise.

Er, shall we?

Oh, sh*t, they're taking
photographs.

Better change
the patients' initials.

For confidentiality.

CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS

He'll be held overnight at least,
so that's time to get you and Ernie

somewhere safe.
I don't need somewhere safe.

Anna, you don't have to
put up with this any more.

He only got angry today because it
was all taking so long.

You told me that he...
SHE CLEARS THROAT

Mummy's just going to the toilet
I'll be right back.

DOOR CLOSES
Well, what now?

We'll work out a safeguarding plan.
You did really well today.

It's all f*cking pointless,
though, isn't it?

ERNIE: f*cking pointless.
f*cking pointless.

SIREN BLARES

Hey. I thought you were gonna
stand me up there.

Oh, my God.

Oh, I'm so sorry.
Er, what time is it?

How long have you been waiting?
Er, don't worry.

They're holding our table for us.

Er...

..listen, do you mind if,
if we raincheck, please?

I'm not feeling too great.

No worries. Another time.

See you around.

I will end with the Prayer
of Commendation for the Dying.

To you, O Lord, we commend
the soul of Magda Winnicka,

your servant.

In the sight of this world
she is now dead.

In your sight, may she live forever.

Forgive whatever sins she committed
through human weakness...

SPEECH FADES

ORGAN MUSIC

Hey!

Are you OK?

I'm just...

I've had better days.

Were you...close?

Um...

I think she hated me, actually.

Seriously, it really means
a lot that you brought me here.

Bring you to
all the best places, don't I?

I've been thinking a lot about...

..that question you asked me.

I've changed my mind.

Go on, ask it again.

Will you marry me?

Of course I will.

Are you sure? Yes, I'm sure.

BOTH LAUGH

Good.

Cos I've already booked the venue.

HARRY: Her grandson's fit, isn't he?

♪ Kiss all the pretty ones goodbye

♪ Give everyone a penny that cries

♪ You can throw
all my tranquil pills away

♪ Let my blood pressure
go on its way

♪ Cos my autumn's done come

♪ My autumn's done come

♪ Done come

♪ Let those I don't care days begin

♪ I'm tired of holdin' my stomach in

♪ Cos my autumn's done come

♪ Yeah, done come. ♪
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