01x06 - Episode 6

Episode transcripts for the TV show "This Is Going to Hurt". Aired: February 8, 2022 - present.*
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Based on the best-selling memoir of the same name, the series follows junior doctor Adam in his chaotic job in OBGYN.
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01x06 - Episode 6

Post by bunniefuu »

Wouldn't it be funny if Adam ended
up delivering you?

We're going to play it safe
and go private.

It's our engagement party tonight,

do you want to get a bit
more engaged?

I was going to say
that my relationship is the only

thing in my life that's not
totally f*cked up.

But now I'm not quite sure
how true that is.

How are we going to make this work?
Well, we're probably not, are we?

I just feel so incompetent there.
I'm lying to my parents

because they are so proud of what
they think I've achieved.

Where's the support?

Well, it's a difficult job. What do
you want me to say, it gets easier?

It doesn't. So if you can't handle
that fact,

maybe you should get out now.

PAINED SCREAMING IN DISTANCE

You OK there? Er...

200g of goat's cheese...please.

Oh, my God. Er...
You delivered our triplets.

A couple of months ago,
at St Clare's.

Er... No, I think
you've got me confused, sorry.

Well, you're the absolute spit
of her, I'll tell you that.

Um... 200g, right?

It is you.

Dr Shruti.

I'm really not a doctor.

Anyway, they're, er...they're doing
great.

None of us are getting any sleep,

but I guess we're not meant to,
right?

COUPLE CHATTERING

I've, erm...

..put it through as cheddar.
Third of the price.

Sorry, David, you put that
through as cheddar.

Did I? Oh, I'll go and change that.

# I hope you felt cheated at home

# With all your lies, lies,
lies, lies, lies

# How long has it taken for you to
look so fine, fine, fine, fine...? #

DOOR SLAMS

Oh. You're in.

What a lovely surprise.

Did you manage to pick up
some toilet tissue?

It's just we don't usually
get through it so quickly.

No, I'm sorry,
I had a really mental day.

I was in theatre for seven hours.

Anything disgusting? Oh, yes.

This woman was running from
the police, high as a kite,

and she climbs over
some railings, slips

and impales herself on a metal
spike.

EMMA GROANS
Up inside

and right out the front
of her abdomen.

Ah, sheesh!

Sheesh kebab.

GREG CHUCKLES

EMMA GASPS
What do we put our drinks on?

Sorry. I'm not used
to having nice things.

They're not really your things,
are they?

I'm glad that you're done.

We've barely seen you
since you've been here.

How long has it been now?
33 days? 34?

I'll be out of your hair
in a bit.

Oh! When are you moving out?

No, I mean,
I have a locum shift tonight.

Oh. But it will get me
a bit closer to, er...

..pulling together a deposit
for a new flat.

Mate... Well...

Honestly, there's no hurry.
If it's just a few grand,

maybe we could lend you the money.

Oh, the shift I'm doing tonight
is at your gaff.

Oh, St Agnes's? Since when did you
start working at private hospitals?

Oh, it's just one shift.
My boss put me up for it.

For the money they're offering
I can, um...

..sell my soul for one night.

No, seriously. It really is
so much nicer there.

You get what you pay for.

20 grand's quite a lot
for mood lighting,

smoked-salmon sandwiches
and coasters.

Mate, I know
she's a strong flavour, but...

Mm-hm.

..can you dial it down a bit
with Emma?

This is her house
as much as it is mine.

She's taken you in as a guest,
which she didn't have to do.

Can you...? You know?

Point taken.

Sorry.

Just had a lot on.

Are you OK?

Yeah, I'm fine, thanks.

I mean, actually OK?

I said I'm fine.

Was that you being fine
at your engagement party?

Well, in retrospect,
it wasn't an engagement party.

Right.

Have they given you a date yet?
For the tribunal?

Is this you trying to cheer me up?

If you ever want to chat
about that, or Harry,

you know I'm here for you, right?

You know, I've realised something.

What's that?

I think I'm actually designed
to be on my own.

Really?

Mm.

I mean, c...cool, great.
Yeah, it's...

..it's, I dunno,
it's freer or something.

No-one asking me
how I'm feeling all the time,

for a start.
GREG LAUGHS

Single and unwilling to mingle.

If there's going to be
any "mingling",

there's a mattress protector
in the wardrobe.

Yeah, Dad, I'm just in the flat.

MUM: Tell her to send me that photo.

Your mum said
you'd send her a photo of it.

I will do.
I'm just in the dining room.

Did she get her test results yet?

Did you get your test results yet?

No, they've not come through yet.

There must have been a delay
with marking them,

or the post or something.

Well, we're proud of you
whatever happens.

Let me speak to her.

Hey, your mum wants to speak to you.

Feels like I already have.

Hi, Shruti. Hi, Mum.

Have you delivered
any more babies yet?

I'm sure
I'll do some more tonight.

Such an amazing job you do.

Yeah. Are you OK?

Why don't you come up at
the weekend?

You know I can't just come up.
I'm working every day

for the next two weeks.

We will drive down one evening.

No. That's not fair on Rashmi
Auntie while she's in hospital.

Look, I'm going to be late
for work.

OK, well, speak to you tomorrow.

Bye.

Love you. Bye. Bye.

Watch Movies, Series & LiveTV
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VERONIQUE:
'I'm just so proud, darling.

'I'm sure it's just the start of
a burgeoning private practice.

I've got one shift as a lackey
at a hoity-toity hospital.

'Well, the journey of
a thousand miles begins with

'a single Caesarean.

'I'm so glad
you're focusing on work

'and putting Henry behind you.

Harry.

'Are you doing OK, darling,
with all that?

Yep, fine.

'I knew you would. I'm glad
you've moved on quickly.

'He just wasn't right for you,
was he?

'Are you wearing a smart tie?

Yeah, beau-di-ful.

'Beau-ti-ful.
Why are you dropping your Ts?

'Is that some Irish thing
you picked up?

I'm here now, I'd better go.
'Remember to smile.

'You look so much more handsome
when you...'

PERSON YELPS
Ooh!

Maybe don't kneecap the consultants
before you even start.

I am so sorry.

LAUGHING: Oh, it's entirely my
fault.

Are you visiting a ward here?

Actually, I'm here for a shift.
My name's Adam, I'm a doctor.

Oh, wonderful!

I'm Serena
and I'm one of the midwives.

Really? Really good to meet you.

Come in. Thank you.

Do mind the railings.
They've just been lacquered.

# That coat that I gave you

# All shiny and black

CHATTER

# I'm sorry, my darling

# But I'm taking it back

# I don't want to spoil the party

# But I've got to go home

Excuse me. Sorry, excuse me.

# You can stay if you want to... #

Hi. Do we normally do tours
for new mums at eight at night?

Ha! No, that's the queue
for triage. Good luck.

Here, how many night shifts
do you have left?

Er... Oh, it's last one tonight.

See you Monday, then, pet.

I've...taken a couple of weeks
of leave, actually.

Ah, well.

Don't do anything I would.

I don't know why
there's so many of them.

They all had sex nine months ago?
Something's going to go wrong.

I can just feel it.
That's the spirit.

Who's the registrar tonight?

It was meant to be a locum
but no-one's turned up yet.

I said something
was going to go wrong.

OK. Er, well, you get onto
the agency and I'll get cracking.

Is there anyone you're
particularly worried about?

Er...

I'm worried about all of them,
to be honest with you.

Course you are. Well, I will
be in triage if you need me.

I'm not happy about only
having one doctor here.

I'm trying Adam.
PHONE RINGS OUT

ADAM: 'Hello.'

Oh, hi, Adam, you're not free
for a shift tonight, are you?

I'm not. Why don't you see if
Pippa's ava...

SHRUTI HANGS UP

Oh! Sorry, one more thing. What?

There's an active sh**t
in the building?

Is the coffee room on fire?

One of next month's SHOs
is on orientation tonight,

if you wouldn't mind
showing him the ropes?

Pew-pew-pew!

MIMICS LASER g*ns

The more the merrier.

Hi, I'm Shruti.

Are you one of the midwives, love?

I'm your boss, love.

Oh.

I'm Al, by the way.

Er...where are we going?

So this is the main floor.

We've got four rooms
and ten midwives.

Four midwives and ten rooms.

Oh, you mean that, sorry.

Uh...that is the large
hydrotherapy pool.

That is the mother and baby
sensory centre.

This is a standard room.

The beds are Californian

with a breathable
12-zone mattress, balcony,

dressing area, office suite
and waterfall shower.

Holy sh*t.
HE LAUGHS

Right.

Do you mostly work in
the maintained sector?

STRAINED: Mm.

Ah! You have
a nightclub here too?

Ah! No, some minor royal
from Kuwait's coming in tomorrow

and they've block-booked
half the ward.

Means that we won't be quite
as busy as usual.

So why don't you get yourself
changed

and then I can introduce you
to the patient?

Patient.

# Everything stinks

# Everything's broke

# So f*ck this

# I tried and I lost

# And everything costs

# So f*ck this

# It's raining money

# It's raining down in buckets

# Selling out or cashing in

VENDING MACHINE WHIRS

# It's really just the same

# So f*ck this

# I'm switching my allegiance

# I'm swapping sides

# Cos only mugs have principles

# And now the privilege is mine

SHE HITS FRONT OF MACHINE

# All aboard for moolah land

# Working cash in hand. #

Never really understood
why people have

doctor and nurse fetishes
before now.

Reckon I could get used to this.

What?

CHATTER

PATIENT: There she is.

ALL PATIENTS TALK AT ONCE

I will be with you as soon as I can.

Get this off to microbiology.

Sweet, no problem.

What do you want me to write
on the form?

The lyrics to the Macarena.

PAGER BEEPS

Yeah, hello, obs and gynae on call?

'Doctor, help me.
My vag*na's totally fallen out.'

Oh, er... O...OK, madam,

can you describe what's happening?

I'm just pulling your perineum.
It's Vicky Houghton.

Oh, hi. Um...it's Shruti.

MIMICKING TRACE: I've had
old worry-warts on the line

saying that the agency hasn't
come through with a registrar.

Yeah, I'm sorry about this,
I was wondering if you might

be able to come in.
Yeah, course, love.

See a few patients in triage
for you, maybe?

Yeah, if you don't mind?

Wipe the sh*t from your arse?

Erm... No, I...

I'll be over in a flash
if it all goes to balls,

but I'm sure you'll cope.

Mums have been having babies

for thousands of years before us,
right?

'You'll ace it, mate, OK?'

Yeah, I will give you a yell
if anything...

CALL DISCONNECTS

Are you one of the doctors?

I am the doctors.

Why don't you pop your head
inside Princess Anne?

Excuse me?

Say hi to the lady
in the Princess Anne Suite.

Patient of Nigel Lockhart's,
uncomplicated first pregnancy,

cracking along nicely at
six centimetres, good epidural.

Sure.

And, er, they'll send dinner
to your room in about an hour.

It's asparagus risotto today.

Really?

I know. It's barely in season.

But somebody's already had
a word with the kitchen.

HE CLEARS THROAT

QUIETLY: Mrs Mullender.

Good evening, Mrs Mullender.

Come.

Mrs Mullender?

Miss. How can I help?

Sorry. My name's Adam,
I'm one of the doctors.

I thought I'd just swing by
and see... Ah!

Are you Daddy?

SHE SNORTS WITH LAUGHTER
Are you joking?

Do you want me to serve up?

No, leave it there, thank you.

I am so sorry.
I didn't mean to assume.

There's no daddy.

And I've just spent a full week
convincing my sister-in-law

that she doesn't need to sit
with me and mop my brow.

It's not like I'd invite her
along to a dental extraction.

SHE LAUGHS

We basically use the same
equipment, to be fair.

I mean, what does she think
we'd even talk about?

Pretty sure I don't have eight hours
of polite chit-chat in me, anyway.

I was literally saying the exact
same thing earlier today.

What's wrong with spending
a bit of time with yourself?

Mm. I think we're groomed

by society to believe
you're dysfunctional

if you're not constantly...

Like I say, I don't have
eight hours of chit-chat in me.

Yes, right.

Um, well, give me a shout
if you need anything.

Erm...

I've got some asparagus
to deal with.

Right. In July?!

AL: Oh, bleeds a lot, doesn't it?

SHRUTI: What, when you cut
human flesh with a Kn*fe?

Hold that there for me.

What's that instrument called?

It's called the
"shut up for a minute

"and let me operate".

Sorry. I just...

There's a lot to learn, isn't there?
If you could teach me

just a bit, then...
SHRUTI SIGHS SHARPLY

Sorry.

Of course.
Monopolar diathermy forceps.

It applies a high current density

to coagulate the tissue it touches.

Oh, thanks.

And what's this layer called?

Looks like a two-day-old kebab,
to be honest.

It's the rectus abdomini.

Ugh, smells like
an old kebab now too.

Right, get your other hand
in there and pull.

NURSE: Do you like to give
antibiotics at your sections?

No, thanks. What's this bit?

I want to say the bowel?

Do you want to say
the uterus instead? You know,

when a mummy and daddy
love each other very much?

Oh, yeah, I think I've seen
some videos

about that on the internet.

OK, make the incision
two to three centimetres below

the upper edge of the peritoneum.

AL GROANS

Hand goes round baby's head

and then you remove the retractor.

What, this thing?

Yep. And then hard push at the top.

Deliver the first shoulder
and ease baby out.

Then clamp and cut the cord.

BABY STARTS TO GRIZZLE

Wow. That's amazing.

BABY CRIES

Congratulations.

God. That's incredible.

What did you expect to find
in there?

I mean, the feeling of...

I guess it just never gets old,
does it?

Once you've seen one baby,
you've kind of seen them all.

That's a bit enthusiastic.
Can we get suction,

clamps and a couple of large
swabs on here, please?

Al, can you...?
AL GAGS

Are you OK?

Yep.

You sure?

Yeah, I'm fine, as long as
I don't look at it too much.

Well, don't look at it too much.
Suction, please.

OK.
PATIENT: What?!

What was that? Is everything OK?

Is there a problem? Are you OK?

I'm really sorry about that.
What's happening?

My colleague has fainted slightly
into the operative field.

Was he in me? I... In...
He's out now.

He's out, he's out now?!

Yes. Is he, is he...? Oh, my God!

Jesus Christ.
Am I going to be all right?

Really sorry, you'll be fine.

It happens more often
than you'd think.

Maybe just give her
some antibiotics, after all?

AL GROANS GENTLY

MICROWAVE BEEPS

AL WHIMPERS

You all right?

Is there not, like, an on-call room
I can lie down in,

just for half an hour?

There's not, like.

They got rid of it.
I think they were worried

we'd actually manage
to get some rest.

It's fine.

I'll stay here.
MICROWAVE PINGS

There's a scanning couch
in the Early Pregnancy Unit

you can kip on if you want.

Thanks, love.

That better be short for
"thanks, lovely doctor".

Sorry, it's a bit of a mission.

Almost there.

Do you often bring strange men

to dark corners of the hospital?

Wherever you're going with that,
back it up immediately.

SCANNER BEEPS REJECTION

AL GRUMBLES

DOOR UNLOCKS

Make yourself at home.
But come and find me

on labour ward in an hour, yeah?

We've still got loads of
patients in triage that we...

PAGER BEEPS

Nope, I'll be in A&E, apparently.

I'm really sorry about before.
In theatre.

Yeah, you're not going to last
very long

if that happens every time
you deliver a baby.

I really hope not.

I've always wanted to do obstetrics.

Yeah. So did I.

Be careful what you wish for.

'You have four new messages.
First new message.

VERONIQUE: 'Hello, darling.
I hope the shift's going well.

'Remember to stand up straight.

'Nobody wants a doctor who looks
like they ring the bells at...'

'Message deleted.
Next new message.

'Hi, mate, it's Greg.

"Emma was just wondering..."

'Emma was just wondering
if it was you

'who left the hot water on.

'Look, we'd both be really grateful

'if you tried not to do that
next...'

'Message deleted.
Next new message.

HARRY: 'Hey, Adam. I hope you're OK.

'Look, do you mind giving me a call?

'It would be really good
to go through...'

'Message deleted. Last message
received today at 7:20pm.

HARRY: 'Hey, Adam,

'I'd really appreciate it
if you've got a sec...'

'Message deleted.
No more messages.'

HE SIGHS

RINGING TONE

HARRY: 'Oh, hey, how's it going?

Yeah, fine, thanks.

Sorry it's taken a while
to call back.

Don't stress. You k*lled Emma yet?

That's why it took me
a while to call back,

the prison only gives me
one call a week.

So I, um...just went ahead

and put the rest of your stuff
into boxes, if that's OK?

Of course.

I'll work out a time to, er...

..come and collect them.

Probably won't be next week.

Well, I was thinking I could

drop them over at Greg's tomorrow?

Kenzie's off work and his car's
back from the garage, so...

HE LAUGHS FLATLY

He didn't hang around, did he?

'What's that supposed to mean?'

I guess I should be grateful
he waited until my cock

was actually out of you
before he pounced.

You done yet?

HE SIGHS SHARPLY

I'll check with Greg what time
I can bring them over.

This is f*cking ridiculous.

Thanks so much for coming down.
How's it going on labour ward?

Tell me about the patient.
Right. Well,

we've been on the phone to
the telephone interpreter service

for half an hour now but
we're really not getting anywhere.

I think he lied on his CV when
he said he could speak Hindi.

All we know is
they're bleeding down below

and they're a hermaphrodite.

Yeah, we say intersex.

Yeah, I'd hate to prejudge

but I'd be really surprised
if he was intersex.

How do you know?

The same way I know he's not
a kestrel.

Look, it's clearly not androgen
insensitivity syndrome,

so it's got to be Klinefelter's
or de la Chapelle syndrome,

but given his...

Don't worry, I'll speak to him.

HE CHUCKLES

Not a hermaphrodite. Haemophiliac.

PAGER BEEPS AND BUZZES

KNOCK ON DOOR
Hello?

DOOR OPENS

Not seen you here before.

I was hoping you'd forgotten

that I mistook you
for a patient's husband.

Oh, no, I meant... I know.

It's my first shift here.

Well, you're a very
welcome addition.

I normally work for the NHS,
where we don't get any, um...

They're called cloches.
I meant food.

Oh.

Sorry if I've judged
this wrong, but...

..do you fancy
getting a drink one day?

I...

Um...

H-How...? Why...? Why did you...?
Why'd you think...?

Well, it's normally a clue
when boys call me Daddy.

So?

I'm not really looking
for a relationship.

That's handy. I'm not offering one.

BOTH PANT AND MOAN

Call me Daddy. Call me Daddy!

PHONE RINGS

Hello?

'It's Serena. Can you come down?

Yes, of course. Um...what's up?

'I need you to
chuck on some gloves

'and get inside Princess Anne.'

The patient's been pushing
for an hour,

CTG's not great, so you
should probably deliver her.

Right away.

I've got nothing on my hands
at the moment, so...

Not sure I've ever delivered
a baby with a semi before.

Yeah, I know, Trace,
it must be very worrying

not having a doctor there.

Yeah, I realise any
of those things could happen,

I'm just dealing with something
that actually is happening.

VOMITING AND COUGHING

OK, look, there's
one more patient left in A&E,

then I'll be right up.

Briana "Dal-ziel"? Yes.

It's "Dee-ell", and we've been
waiting here 3.5 hours.

Dad! Yeah, sorry about that,
it's been manic today.


Er, OK, so you had a positive
pregnancy test two weeks ago,

and now you've got some pain
in your right groin?

That's right. How many people do we
have to go through this with?

I'm just doing my job, sir.

Do you mind if I put
a hand on your tummy?

Oh!

OK, I'm going to need to exclude
what's called an ectopic pregnancy.

That's when a pregnancy implants
in a tube

which can potentially rupture,
cause a bit of an emergency.

She's been waiting here
all bloody night

and now you're telling us
it's an emergency?

No, I'm saying I need to make
sure it's not an emergency

before I send you home,
which means doing a scan.

And how long's that going to take?

I pay your wages, you know.

Can I have a raise, then?

It takes as long as it takes, Dad.

There isn't any out-of-hours
scanning, I'm afraid.

Oh, for God's sake!

Which means I'll need
to keep you in overnight

and do it in the morning.
f*cking NHS.

Dad. I'm taking you home. Come on,
we've been here long enough.

Dad!
Wait.

Maybe there is something I can do.

Yeah, I just didn't expect
to pay 15 grand

to have the work experience
deliver me, Nigel.

SHE SIGHS

No. I do, I do, I understand.

Absolutely.

I'll see you in the...

We will see you in the morning.

Will do. All right, thanks.
Give it to him.

Oh.

Er...

Evening, Kay. Sorry for
dumping you in it a bit.

Oh, it's not a problem, Mr Lockhart.

Yeah, she's nice enough
when you get to know her.

Just get on with it.

Smile like the Cheshire Cat
on nitrous oxide.

I've told her you're my best guy.

Thank you, that means a lot.

Yeah, then again, I told her
I was stuck in traffic,

so take that with a pinch of salt.

I'll-I'll bung you a grand
for your efforts.

That's...extremely kind,
Mr Lockhart. Thank you.

Oh, and I'm going to be
stuck in traffic

for a fortnight in Corfu next month,
if you're interested.

So don't f*ck it up.

CALL DISCONNECTS

Thank you.

I'm so sorry you've ended up
with the B-Team.

Sometimes things
just happen too quickly

to get the consultant in.

No. Course.

I'm just grateful
you're one of Nigel's guys,

not some flunky in the NHS.

THEY LAUGH

I just don't think

I'm a "having a baby in a corridor"
kind of person.

You made the right decision
coming here, that's for sure.

Well, wouldn't you?

SHE BREATHES HEAVILY

Nearly there.
You're doing really well.

We'll find out what's going on
in a second, OK?

Um, it's usually all locked up
this time of night,

but there's an ultrasound
machine free in here,

so we can...
SENSOR BEEPS

SENSOR CHIRRUPS

Oh, um...there's a man asleep
in there, by the way, but...

sh*t! Get up.

What...?

No offence,
but you do not look well.

BRIANA GROANS

Let's have a quick look.

Right.

I can see a lot of blood
in your abdomen.

That means that your pregnancy
is ectopic, and it's ruptured.

f*cking hell! Al. Please.
It's fine, she's asleep.

Briana? sh*t.

Right, Al, listen to me carefully

or this woman is going to die.

Use the phone outside
to fast-bleep theatres

to say we're coming over,

then call Ms Houghton
to come in urgently.

Do you understand? I think so.

OK. Quickly go!

Get me some Venflons
and some giving sets.

Briana? Briana, stay with me.
You're going to be fine.

SHE SCREAMS

That's it.

OK, and stop pushing and pant
for me.

SHE PANTS

NURSE: Keep going.

Fabulous, well done.

Beautiful baby...

..girl!
HE CHUCKLES

GURGLING CRY

Hello.

That's what I call
a Hollywood delivery.

We got it on the first take.

That's it, that's it,
that's it. Lovely.

CAMERA CLICKS
Say, "Roquefort"!

Gynae theatre's fifth floor.

And they know we're coming? Yeah.

She's going to make it, right?
Just hurry.

Go get the door.

Hurry up!

I meant press the...

LOCK CLICKS

Oh.

Right. Well, that's me done.

You got away without so much
as a tear. It's really good.

You OK up there?

BABY CRIES
Hm? Yeah. I think so.

"Think"...?

Jesus Christ.
That's like a litre of the stuff.

Time to earn my money.

Um, you're losing
a bit of blood there.

Apologies if it gets a bit busy here
while we sort you out.

One litre PPH and counting. Right.

Pull the emergency cord
and get the cavalry in.

Take the baby off her.
Get some monitoring going.

Lie her flat. High-flow oxygen.

Get me a couple
of wide-bore cannulas.

MONITORS BEEP

Very atonic uterus.
Let's get a catheter in,

draw up Syntometrine, and
get a Synto infusion running.

I'll get the Synto infusion. This?

No, not nasal prongs.
I need a high-flow oxygen mask.

And an adult-size cannula.

I'll get the cannula. I'll do it.

Right, you look for some
Syntometrine. It's usually

here in the second drawer.
How hard was that?

Someone take over the fundal
massage.

PATIENT BREATHES HEAVILY

Don't worry, Kathleen.

Get some Carboprost
and Misoprostol ready for me.

I'm not sure
if we have any of them.

Course you do. You must do.

KATHLEEN MOANS

Where are the doctors?
I need doctors.

Inform haematology,
a couple of anaesthetists

and let interventional
radiology know

that we might need them.
Our anaesthetist is on his way,

but there aren't any
of those other ones here.

Get Mr Lockhart on the phone now.

I need six units of O negative

before the crossmatched blood
is available.

We only keep two units here.
I need six units of blood,

I'm not negotiating a discount
on bathroom tiles here.

KATHLEEN GASPS

Could someone call my brother,
please?

That's a lot of blood
we're chucking in.

Be good if we could start?

I'm just the SHO.
I've not done it before.

I've not even seen it before.

Didn't you say we need to operate
now?

I mean my consultant needs to
do it. She's nearly here -

she was just around the corner
two minutes ago.

Just like a cab is always
round the corner?

Labour ward are on the phone.

They've got a massive
post-partum haemorrhage

coming over in an ambulance.

Well, I can only be
in one theatre at once.

Shall I go there?

And do what? Faint? What? No.

That was just a blood sugar thing.
What do you want me to tell them?

I can't leave
until Ms Houghton's here.

I could have a go.

Scalpel, please.

Here we go.

f*cking doors!

Stood there banging for five minutes
before a cleaner found me.

Even f*cking Cinderella got back
through the door after midnight.

We got stuck in a corridor too.

Wow. That's a great story.

Well, we're all here now.
Remind me.

32 years old, confirmed ruptured
ectopic

with significant peritoneal
bleeding.

You scanned her yourself? Yeah.

f*ck me with forceps!
You are stepping up.

There's an ambulance transfer
coming into labour ward,

so you stay here and do this.

I'm going to go and sort that out.
Will do, boss.

I'll cr*ck on here, then.
She'll be right as rain.

# Stay out super late tonight

# Picking apples, making pies

# Put a little something
in our lemonade

# And take it with us

# We're half awake... #

Major PPH. Lost three litres or so.

Delivered an hour ago at St Agnes.

Er, how many units has she had?

Two at the hospital,
one in the ambulance.

Three, two, one.

Thank you.

She's very tachy. Let's hook her up
to a couple

more bottles of house red.

Are you happy to scribe? Sure.

Tracy, bleep the
on-call haematologist,

we need to discuss plasma
and cryo and all that.

Right.

What's she had
in the way of uterotonics?

Just Syntometrine, and the Synto
infusion that's running.

Want to give her some Misoprostol?

Protocol is Carboprost first.

Carboprost!

Good point.

Right, let's get her legs up.

I'm going to run through
the four Ts.

Tone. Uterus is boggy.

Er, she's had Syntometrine,

a Synto infusion is running
and she's having Carboprost.

Tissue. Was the placenta complete?

Yes. Trauma. Any tears? No.

Thrombin. Any pertinent history?
Um...nothing.

Right, make sure to send a clotting.

Done. That's in, and blood running.

# Turn the light out, say goodnight

# No thinking for a little while

# Let's not try to figure out

# Everything at once

# We're half awake in
a fake empire. #

Yet another transfer
from St Hopeless.

Mm.

One day they're going to
k*ll someone, you know?

It's a shame we don't see
any of the cash

those poor patients spend.

SHE TUTS

Nice work tonight, by the way.

Ms Houghton's basically, er,

writing a four-act opera
about how great you are.

Is it wrong for me to feel proud?

You're so...good.

Mm-hm.

You still pissed off with me?
About the engagement party?

No, I'm just tired.

I really am sorry.

It's fine.

Anyway, you're only as good as
your last patient, aren't you?

I bloody hope not.

Oh, my God, I'm so sorry,
I completely forgot.

Exam results were out yesterday.

Yeah.

And...?

I passed.

That's amazing, Shruts. Well done.

I mean, obviously you did.
HE CHUCKLES

Well...we need to celebrate.
What you doing tomorrow night?

I'm off after nights.

Well, whenever, you know.
The offer's there.

Well...enjoy your break...

..and see you soon
for the next instalment.

Yeah, I'll see ya.

See ya. Kay?

I'm sorry. I really did try.

Didn't we say no feet
on the table, Adam?

So, how was
your first private shift?

Yeah, it was fine, thanks.

Isn't that chandelier
in the entrance hall stunning?

You know, it wasn't all right,
it was awful.

Attempted m*rder with a side
order of asparagus risotto.

LAUGHING: What do you mean?

Look, you don't have to listen to me

and you probably won't,
but I have to say this.

Go private for your bunions
or your haemorrhoids.

But not for your baby,
it's not safe.

Don't be ridiculous.

Yes, they've got fancy uniforms
and a pillow menu.

But do you really
want that chandelier

to be the last thing you see

before they cart you off
for the NHS to save your life?

That hospital was not prepared,

and my patient nearly d*ed
last night.

You serious? Absolutely.

Save your money.
Spend it on, like, 20 holidays.

Thank you, Adam.

I really appreciate your honesty.

Come on.

THEY LAUGH

Oh!

Although it'd be two holidays.

Or one proper summer one.

Whoopsie.

SENSOR BEEPS

Ah, the fragrant air
of underfunding.

What's going on? What's happened?

Tracy?

Adam, er...

TEARFULLY: ..I don't know
what she was thinking.

What?

RINGING TONE

'Hey, it's Harry.

'I can't take your call right now,
but leave a message...'

HE SIGHS

HE SOBS
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