01x07 - Destroyer of Worlds

Episode transcripts for the TV show "Pam & Tommy". Aired: February 2022.*
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Mini-series that depicts the marriage between Pamela Anderson and Tommy Lee and the release of their infamous unauthorized sex tape.
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01x07 - Destroyer of Worlds

Post by bunniefuu »

Everything's gonna be okay.

You m*therf*ckers
are f*cking ripping me off.

You owe me $ , , dude.

Me .

You ain't getting d*ck.

The tape is gonna go away.

Apparently there's
a love tape going around

of Pamela Anderson and Tommy Lee.

[BUTCHIE] I get %,

and I will not negotiate.

You got yourself a deal.

Seattle. Let me guess.

Webcams.

They say it's the future of p*rn.

And I would agree with them.

And Barb Wire is gonna be

the biggest movie in the world.

It's their number one
priority for spring.

You're about to be
the biggest movie star

in the world.

And we're gonna get pregnant again...

[RETCHING]

And we're gonna have
a long and happy marriage.

[TOMMY] Bob Guccione, he's got the tape.

We're suing the sh*t out of him.

Everything is gonna be
beautiful and perfect.

If we sue, it puts all
this attention on the tape.

It could turn into something way bigger.

You need to sue.

Forever.

[INTERVIEWER] Mrs. Lee, do you recall

how old you were the first time

you publicly exposed your genitals?

[DRAMATIC MUSIC]

[TONY DALLARA'S "RICORDIAMOCI"]

♪ ♪

♪ Ricordiamoci ♪

[MOBSTER] Here you go, Boss.

[BUTCHIE] What the f*ck is this?

[ARTHUR] Starbucks.

It's coffee from Seattle.

[TINO] Popping up all over the country.

- From who?
- Seattle.

Yeah. All right.

No, thanks. I'll stick with Italy.

Speaking of everywhere,
that tape you bankrolled...

You must be raking it in. Mazel.

Even Dominic has a copy.

Who?

Dominic, my year old.

Your godson?

Yeah. Right.

Get ahold of Miltie.

Tell him I want to see him.

Right the f*ck now.

[RADIO CHATTER]

Oh, wow.

- Knight of Cups.
- [DANIELLE]Is that good?

- That's really good.
- [DANIELLE]Is it?

[RAND] That represents change
and new opportunity.

- [ERICA] Rand?
- [RAND] There's a strong...

Hey.

Can I talk to you for a sec?

[DANIELLE] Ooh.

Have you been calling the Netherlands?

- No.
- [ERICA] Huh.

Apparently, someone in this house

called the Netherlands

times last month.

Wow. That's a lot of times.

Hmm.

Are you sure you didn't?

It wasn't me or Danielle.

[RAND] Well, you know what?
Actually, this was me.

I call it Holland, not the Netherlands.

Oh, you call it Holland.

Yeah, so there's the confusion there.

Why did you call the Netherlands

times last month?

- For...
- [ERICA] No, wait.

Let me guess.

This has something to do

with your... new business venture.

Yeah, exactly.

Which is going great.

Really great. Yes.

It's going so f*cking great

that you're crashing on my couch.

You have to invest in your business

before it becomes profitable,
and that's where I'm at...

No. No, I want you out
by the end of the week.

This week?

[LINE TRILLING]

[RECEPTIONIST] Excelsior
Royal Grand Hotel Spa.

Yeah, this is Mr. Gauthier
for Mr. Ingley again.

[PHONE RINGING]

- Yeah.
- [RECEPTIONIST] Mr. Ingley.

It's Mr. Gauthier on the line.

Uh-huh.

Not in. [GIGGLES]

[SNORTS]

[RECEPTIONIST] I'm sorry,
but Mr. Ingley is not in.

[EXHALES SHARPLY]

Is he ever in?

[RECEPTIONIST] Sometimes, sir.

Okay. Just... just tell him
I called again, okay?

Thank you.

[EXHALES SHARPLY]

Nobody answers at the studio.

I looked through the slot at his house.

There's a big pile of mail.

Donny's cousin, Sal, he
rents lights to p*rn sh**t.

He heard Miltie skipped town.

Might be even out of the country.

What about the other one?

The partner? The doofus?

Yeah, him. Go get him.

Bring me the doofus.

♪ And I know that I could always try ♪

There's you go.

Tell your friends about me, all right?

Right here. Right here.

Get the tape everybody's talking about.

New video with Pamela Anderson.
Deep throat.

What's up, bro?

Hey, check out the tape
everybody's talking about.

One for , two for .

Pam Anderson sucks Tommy's d*ck.

Hey, ladies, you want one?

Come on, man.
We can't sell that in here.

Why not? You got some guy
selling bootlegs of it

on your property, in your parking lot.

He's not really bothering anybody.

He is bothering me very, very much.

Look, I got the real
tape right here, man,

and I'm willing to make you a deal.

A really good deal. Wholesale deal.

Right now. Come on.

What makes yours
the real tape and his bootleg?

What's the difference?

What's the difference?

The difference is I was first, man.

I was first.

You know, David Bowie once said

never be the first to do anything.

And I bet he wasn't the first to say it.

What the f*ck am I
supposed to do with that?

Check 'em out. Check 'em out.

Oh, what's up, bro?

Hey, you mad, dawg?

Hey, why you mad, bro?

- Ready?
- Mm-hmm.

Wait, so what's the plan
if they ask about the tape?

"If"?

[CAMERA SHUTTERS CLICKING]

[PAM] Hey.

Hey, guys. Hey. Hi.

[APPLAUSE]

Hey. How's everybody doing?

- [ALL] Good!
- [PAM] Good.

That's why I love Barb so much.

I mean, you know, she
wasn't always such a badass.

You know, she was once
as innocent as they come,

and then she got that tough
by being,

you know, by being knocked down
over and over again,

you know, sometimes by the people

that she trusted the most.

And that really spoke to me personally.

And, you know, so people
are really gonna...

[VANCE] Hi, Pam. Yeah.

Vance. Stuff Magazine.

Your favorite thing in a guy.

I like a man who listens, Vance.

[LAUGHTER]

Hello, Pamela. Pamela.

Did you ever have fight trainings

before you played in Barb Wire?

Oh, yeah, and, you know,
on Baywatch a little... a little.

But, you know, nothing
like this, nothing like this.

Well, C.J. didn't get
to wave a hand-cannon around.

[GIGGLES] I wish.

[LAUGHTER]

I have a question.

Yes. Hi.

When's your Penthouse coming out?

Sure lots of guys
are looking forward to it.

[EXHALES SHARPLY]

Well, sorry to disappoint, but, um,

me in Penthouse is not gonna happen,

and we're taking legal
steps to make sure of it.

Next question...

[REPORTER] So the lawsuit is real?

[CAMERA SHUTTERS CLICKING]

As opposed to...

You know, like a...

Publicity stunt? [FORCED LAUGHTER]

[REPORTER] So the rumors
that you and Tommy were

actually the ones who released
the tape are unfounded?

- Is that what you...
- The tape was stolen

from our house...

From a safe in our house.

We are the victims of a burglary.

[CAMERAS SHUTTERS CLICKING]

Got it.

[FORCED LAUGHTER] Great.

[FUNKY MUSIC]

♪ ♪

♪ You say you want to go ♪

Nine?

That's it?

f*cking bootleggers, man.

You know what they say.

Imitation is the sincerest
form of flattery.

Yeah, whoever said that wasn't getting

his f*cking business ripped off.

I'm going to the post office.

Oh. Any word from Miltie?

f*ck do you think, dude?

♪ There without me ♪

What's that? A ' ?

Oh, my God. Look, there...

There are people
who are expecting me places.

Relax. Let's go.

- He just wants to check in.
- Let's go.

[TENSE MUSIC]

♪ ♪

Hello, Rand.

Come on in. Have a seat.

Hi, Butchie.

Please, call me Mr. Peraino.

I got a little game we could play.

I ask you a question, you eat a cherry,

and then you answer the question.

Fun, right?

Here. Try one.

[MUSIC SWELLS]

- Ugh.
- Got quite a kick, huh?

Mm-hmm. [COUGHS]

[BUTCHIE] I marinated
the cherries in vodka

and Fernet-Branca
for two weeks.

Have another.

Oh.

[FIRMLY] Have another.

So, where's Miltie?

[PANTING]

He, uh... he went on...

Uh-uh.

Mm-mm. Mm-mm. Mm-mm-mm.

It's all part of the game.
You gotta eat two more.

Let's try it again.

Where is Miltie?

He went to Amsterdam.

You know how it's the
diamond capital of the world?

He went there to... he's turning
our money into diamonds.

So you let your partner...

Our partner... Who
controls all the money,

take that money and leave the country?

You know, Rand,

I'm trying to figure
out if you're a liar

or just a f*cking idiot.

I would never lie to you, Butchie.

It's Mr. Peraino, you f*cking liar!

- [GROANS]
- [GRUNTS]

Ow! f*ck, my knee!

You owe me $ , .

I don't have the money.
Miltie has the money, man.

- [GRUNTS]
- [GROANS]

[BUTCHIE] But I have you.

And you will get me
some of my money by tomorrow.

I'll do my best, but...

But what? But what?

If I'm being honest,
I'm having a hard time

getting a hold of Miltie.

- Would you shut the f*ck up?
- Ow!

Because Amsterdam is not the
diamond capital of the world.

Antwerp is.

Amsterdam is the dr*gs and
hookers capital of the world.

You mix that in

with what you already know
about your friend Milton Ingley

and tell me what you come up with,

you stupid f*ck of a human being.

- [THUD]
- Ouch!

[SIGHS]

[GAIL] You okay?

[CHUCKLES] Yeah.

Yeah, just a little wiped.

You did great today.

I tried. [FORCED LAUGHTER]

f*cking men.

[CHUCKLES]

f*cking men.

You know what, though?

I hope it's a boy.

[CHUCKLES]

[RAND] "Tommy, this is me"

"whom you may have
massively f*cked over.

"One of many, no doubt.

"If you seek to lift the black cloud

"that follows your every move,

"meet me at : p.m. this evening

"at area D of the Dodger
Stadium parking lot.

"Come alone

"and bring an offering of $ , .

"No more, no less.

All the best, Karma."

[PAM] Thanks.

[PANTING SHAKILY]

- [WOMAN] Hi, Pam.
- Hey.

Oh, hey. Nice to see you.

- Hey there.
- [JAY] Thank you so much.

Thank you so much, Kevin.

What a great show for you tonight.

Our first guest, you might have seen her

in a little TV show called Baywatch,

and you can see her starring

in the upcoming film Barb Wire.

Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome

Pamela Anderson.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

[JAZZY MUSIC]

♪ ♪

Oh. Hey, Pamela.

- Welcome back.
- Hi. Hi.

- Five months.
- Five months?

Can you believe it? I know.

[JAY] Now, is it a boy or a girl?

- Do you know?
- Oh, I actually don't know.

- Really?
- Mm-mm. No.

No, Tommy and I,
we wanted it to be a surprise.

[JAY] You really
don't know the sex, huh?

No, we don't.

Gee, you know, I never imagined

there was something sex-related

Pamela Anderson doesn't know.

- Am I right, fellas?
- That's actually pretty good.

- [PAM] All right. All right.
- [JAY] All right. All right.

Now, speaking of sex,
and I have to know.

- [PAM] Mm-hmm.
- The tape.

[AUDIENCE OOHS] Oh, yeah, fellas,

- we all want to know.
- What the f*ck?

What tape, Jay?

[JAY] Right. What tape? Yeah.

Now, obviously,
I haven't seen it, you know.

- No.
- I want to,

just haven't gotten a copy yet,

but there's a tape out there
floating around.

- Okay?
- Mm-hmm.

Everyone's talking
about it, right, at work.

"Have you seen the tape?

"Have you seen the tape?" Right?

A lot of people I
talking about this tape,

and particularly, for some reason, men.

- Imagine that.
- [JAY] Oh, I think we have.

Now, what's that like? What's that like?

You know, to have all
that, uh, exposure?

What's it like?

It's horrible.

To have something so...

intimate stolen from you,

you know, something private
from inside your marriage

and have it taken without permission

and exposed to the world,

it's devastating.

This is devastating to us.

[SOMBER MUSIC]

♪ ♪

[GIGGLES] What?

He asked. [LAUGHTER]

[JAY] I did. I did. That's on me.

Boy, she is one tough cookie, huh?

Well, it was incredible
seeing you again.

- Congratulations on the baby.
- [PAM] Thanks, Jay.

[JAY] Pamela Anderson, one more time.

Barb Wire is in theaters...

I'm taking that m*therf*cker out.

- Tommy, stop.
- What?

Stop it. Stop.

I need you to listen to me.

These next few days,
they are not about you,

they are about me.

From right now, until
we get home from the premiere,

you exist solely to
make life easier for me.

You are to cause no drama, no conflict,

do nothing that
complicates things for me,

screws things up for me,
such as b*ating up Jay Leno.

- But...
- Shh. But...

Tommy, I have to be
at the hotel tomorrow

for hair and my makeup,
so it makes sense for me

just to go there tonight
instead of going all the way

back and forth to Malibu,
so I'm gonna do that.

Just me.

On my own.

Okay?

[SAM] And I knew it.

And I knew it the very
first time I touched her.

It's like coming home,

only to no home I'd ever known.

I was just taking her hand
to help her out of a car.

And I knew it.

It was like...

- Magic.
- [SAM] Magic.

[SOBBING]

[DR. MARCIA FIELDSTONE] Well, folks,

it's time to wrap it up.

I'm Dr. Marcia Fieldstone in Chicago,

and to all my listeners,
a magical and merry Christmas.

And to you, Sleepless in Seattle,

we hope you'll call again soon

and let us know how it's going.

[SAM] Oh, you can count on it.

[SOBBING]

♪ Find me ♪

♪ I know somewhere ♪

♪ Over the rainbow ♪

[PHONE RINGING]

♪ ♪

♪ Bluebirds fly ♪

God. [PHONE BEEPS]

[SOFTLY] Pamela.

Oh. Hi, baby.

Wait, why are you whispering?

Oh, it's... [CLEARS THROAT]

Itchy throat.

What's up, lover cup?

Oh, nothing.

Just... [SPUTTERS]

Eating pie and watching a movie.

[TOMMY] Aw, babe.

Tommy, I miss you.

[CHUCKLES]

Baby, I can't stand being away from you.

You want me to sh**t over in a bit?

Oh, no. No, no, no. That's okay.

I just... I'm actually
just gonna go to sleep.

[TOMMY] Oh.

I just, um...

I was just calling to say good night.

So, good night.

Good night.

I love you.

[TOMMY] I love you too, lover.

Good night.

[TOMMY] Good night.

♪ Over the rainbow ♪

♪ Bluebirds fly ♪

♪ ♪

♪ Birds fly ♪

♪ Over the rainbow ♪

♪ Why, oh, why ♪

♪ Can't I? ♪

♪ If happy, little bluebirds fly ♪

♪ Beyond the rainbow ♪

♪ Why, oh, why ♪

♪ Can't I? ♪

Is that the $ , ?

.

I don't got time for
your f*cking weird-ass numbers.

That's the exact amount you owe me

for my labor and for my tools.

So that's what this is about?

All this for some lousy grand?

With that, you will atone.

I will be made whole once again.

[SMACKS LIPS] Uh...

I don't see that happening.

You don't see what happening?

You being made whole.

I may not know much,
but I do know one thing,

and that is winners and losers,

and you, son, are a loser.

A bottom, a beta, a chump, a bitch.

No grand's ever gonna change that.

That's just...

That's just you, bro.

For life.

Well, you're a bad person.

Yeah, maybe.

Maybe I am.

But what about Pamela?

Hmm?

What did she do to deserve
what you've done to her?

Do you have any idea what you put that

warm, kind, sweet woman through?

Hmm? Is she a bad person?

I came here

to b*at the living
f*cking sh*t out of you,

but I can't seem to do that,

so I'll just go with your flow, bro.

I'll make an offering

to the gods.

Dude, no!

- Is that what you want?
- [RAND] No!

Is that what you f*cking want?

- [RAND] No!
- Huh?

Go ahead, Ranch. Go ahead and take it.

[RAND] What the f*ck? No!

- That's my f*cking money.
- Whoo!

[RAND] f*ck.
Oh, f*ck.

Now, m*therf*cker.

Now it's on.

[RAND] What the f*ck?
This is so f*cked up.

You're a piece of sh*t, man.

Guy at work. So next thing you know,

we're dragging him out there. Get back.

Take a break.

- Watch your head.
- Yeah, I know.

I know. I know.

You don't have my money, do you?

No.

There's this degenerate gambler.

Owes , to a guy that owes me , .

So you are gonna get the ,

from this degenerate gambler for me.

How am I gonna do that?

Bam.

Works like regular size, but
you can keep it up your sleeve.

- No.
- No?

- [RAND] No.
- No?

Look, I don't mean to critique

how you run your business,

but I am not the man to do this.

Wouldn't one of them be better
suited for this type of work?

Both are jammed up with priors.

Plus they don't owe me
tens of thousands of dollars.

Drop him at the Albert guy's place.

[PHONE RINGING]

Mm?

Wakey, wakey. Rise and shine!

[PAM] Oh, Tommy.

Baby, just got a call
from a certain lawyer of ours.

The Penthouse verdict is in.

Today's gonna be a great day.

I know, but how can you be so sure?

The decision wasn't supposed
to come down for months.

Why else would it be so fast?
[KNOCKING ON DOOR]

Come on. We gotta get that judge's name.

f*cking send him a fruit basket
or something.

Yes?

f*ck. Come on, baby.


- There he is.
- Hey. How's it going?

[RICHARD] Apologies
for the short notice.

Hey, no problemo.

We're happy you're here.

What... what... What's that?

[RICHARD] That is a summary judgment.

Judge threw your case out.

[LAUGHS] Yeah!

f*cking suck it, Guccione.

See, baby?
What did I tell you?

What?

He ruled in favor of Penthouse.

What?

[RICHARD] He deemed Penthouse was

in its First Amendment
rights, as the tape,

by virtue of its being
in the public conversation,

is newsworthy.

- That's f*cking bullshit!
- [RICHARD] I agree.

I mean, I get the validity
of the free speech argument,

but for a judge just
to accept it out of hand

with no counterargument,
that, I don't get it.

I do.

Well, they have to say something.

They can't say the actual reason.

Which is?

That I don't have any rights.

Because I have...

Because I have spent my public
life in a bathing suit.

Because I have...

Because I had the nerve
to pose for Playboy.

They can't actually say that sluts...

And that's what this
ruling is saying I am,

in case you're unclear...

They can't actually say

that sluts don't get
to decide what happens

to pictures of their body,

that I don't get to decide
what happens to my actual body,

so they say something else instead.

Pam, I understand your position.

You will never understand my position.

This is why I should
never have never done this.

I let you lead me exactly
where I knew we'd wind up,

which is a place you've
never been before.

Whoo. But I have, many times.

Don't worry, though.

It'll never happen again.

[TOMMY] Pamela.

[RECEPTIONIST] I'm sorry, sir,

but he's not here.

Well, just tell him that
Rand f*cking called.

- Okay?
- [RECEPTIONIST] Yes, sir.

[TENSE MUSIC]

♪ ♪

Albert.

You owe Prager $ , .

[STAMMERS]
[BAT CLANGS]

- You can tell him I...
- I need the money now.

Or I'm gonna have to hurt you, man.

I don't want to hurt you,
but I will have to hurt you.

I don't have it. I don't have it!

- Give it to me.
- I don't have it.

I need it. I need that f*cking money.

- I don't have it...
- I don't want to do it...

Hello? You getting on?

[UNSETTLING MUSIC]

♪ ♪

f*ck.

[SOMBER MUSIC]

♪ ♪

[BARRY] Pamela Anderson and
Tommy Lee back in the news.

Their steamy sex tape coming soon

to the pages of Penthouse.

A spokesman for the magazine

said they finally got
the official, legal go-ahead

to publish images from the
notorious X-rated home video.

What was that all about?

[ERICA] Your buddy's tape,

Penthouse is running pictures.

- [RAND] They want to.
- No, it's happening.

The judge just said
it was okay.

Which means I have a lot of homework

to do this weekend.
Terry, how about you?

[TERRY] Just don't tell my husband.

[SIGHS]

- [ERICA] Have you seen it?
- Hmm?

[ERICA] The tape?

Oh.

- No.
- [ERICA] Really?

I would have figured for sure
you would have seen it.

I don't need to watch that sh*t.

[FORCED LAUGHTER]

Have you?

- Yeah.
- Yeah, at a party.

- Yeah.
- And?

I mean, it's actually...

I mean, it's kind of sweet.

It's sweet?

Yeah. I mean, it should be...

I guess it should be disgusting.

Rich, debauched famous people
just f*cking on a boat,

but it's... it's... it's...

It's, like, super wholesome.

It's... it's romantic.

[DANIELLE] I mean, they're so in love.

[ERICA] Yes!

And then it was sh*t
really interestingly.

What do you mean by that?

Well, Pam is holding the
camera most of the time

and she makes all these, like,

very interesting artistic choices.

- Oh, yeah.
- [ERICA] Yes!

Like, at one point, they're
f*cking missionary style

and Tommy's about to cum,

so where does she point the camera?

At his d*ck.

His face!

She points it at his
face for the cumshot.

Yeah, you never see that in a p*rn.

- [ERICA] Ever!
- Huh.

And then she just sort of
holds it there

and you see how happy he is
to be inside of her.

I mean, he f*cking cries a little bit.

Oh, I think... I think
I got the picture.

I mean, I know you two have your issues,

but I gotta say,

I kinda like him.

I mean, I know he's
a f*cking idiot and everything,

but he is...

He's strangely...

likable.

[DANIELLE] And he's so in touch
with his feelings.

[ERICA] Totally. Yes.

He's, like, some kind of
a sensitive caveman.

All right.

We're leveling off.

Traffic has remained roughly
unchanged for the last days.

The numbers are still strong,
but the growth curve.

- We need a pop.
- A pop?

Something to get attention,
stir up some buzz.

[ALAN] Like what?

I don't f*cking know.

[INQUISITIVE MUSIC]

♪ ♪

[EXCITED CHATTER]

[FRANKIE AVALON'S "YOU ARE MINE"]

♪ ♪

♪ You are mine ♪

♪ ♪

♪ Haven't I told you so? ♪

♪ You are mine ♪

♪ Even the angels know ♪

[REPORTERS BUZZING]

♪ ♪

♪ Now, I may not be a poet ♪

[REPORTER] Any word on Penthouse?

♪ ♪

[PHONE RINGING]

Hello.

[RECEPTIONIST] There's a Mr. Ron Jeremy

on the line.

Yeah?

Great. Yeah, put him through.

[RECEPTIONIST] One moment, sir.

Quiet. [CALL TRANSFERS]

Ronnie J., to what do
I owe the pleasure?

Hello?

Ron, you there?

I trusted you.

Who is this?

[RAND] I trusted you, and you f*cked me.

Rand, uh, I...

Hey, man. I'm sorry.
I've been so out of the loop.

It's crazy busy over here.

I was actually gonna
call you. [HANGS UP]

[OMINOUS MUSIC]

♪ ♪

[HOWARD] Don't do me dirty
like that, Barb.

Now give me the money.

[HOWARD] I thought we had
a good thing going.

[BARB] Well, I'm good,
and you're a thing.

And you best get going.

[g*n COCKS]

Now, give me the bag.

So f*ckin' proud of you.

♪ So you are a star ♪

♪ ♪

♪ Nobody knows ♪

[PARTYGOER] Well,
we'll just see how it plays.

Yes, the way it ends is
it's just open for sequel,

but, you know, it's just...
It's up to the studio.

[PARTYGOER] Absolutely.

[PARTYGOER] A steaming pile of sh*t.

[PARTYGOER] That's the second
best movie she's been in

this year, man. [LAUGHTER]

[TENSE MUSIC]

[ERICA] Are you okay?

I'm fine.

What's going on?

Picture you're in...
You're driving, you know,

and you're in, um...

You're stopped at a red light

and the cars coming
in the other direction

have a left-turn arrow.

So they're turning left
in front of you, you know?

And they keep coming,
and then your light

turns green, you know,
so it's your turn,

but these left-turn cars,
they don't stop.

They keep coming.

And at first, you let 'em go.

You're like, "What's the big deal?

It's not a big deal. Just let them go."

But...

you know, they don't stop

and they're taking advantage
of your kindness,

and they know they're
taking advantage of you

and they know they're wrong

and they're just doing it anyway.

Why?

Because...

they're assholes?

Tommy Lee was the millionth left turner

to roll through my green,

and he flipped me off
and he threw garbage at me

while he was doing it.

And after just taking it

and taking it and
taking it my whole life,

I couldn't f*cking take it anymore.

And so, I did it.

Wait, what did you do?

I floored it and I
smashed into him head-on.

Okay.

Could you be a little more literal?

I stole his safe,

which contained a certain video tape.

Wait a second.

You're the one who...

Yeah.

That's your big

new business venture?

Yes, it is.

I really don't get why you're so mad.

It's p*rn.

God, it is not p*rn, you assh*le!

- Yes, it is.
- [ERICA] No.

When people in p*rn have sex on camera,

we... we are giving consent
for people to watch us.

We signed f*cking releases, Rand.

Did Pam Anderson sign a release?

Did Tommy Lee sign a f*cking release?

- Stop saying that word.
- [ERICA] Okay.

You're one of these
f*cking release people too?

- Get out. Get out.
- [RAND] Okay, I will.

Who gives a f*ck
about these f*cking releases?

So stupid. f*cking bureaucracy.

- No, Tommy, no.
- No way, we're doing it.

- No, I don't...
- Uh-uh.

- Tommy, I wanna go home.
- No way. Not a chance.

Driver, go exactly where I say.

Do not listen to this major movie star

sitting right next to me.

[BARB] Hand over the lenses, Schmitz.

[SCHMITZ] Over my dead body.

[BARB] If you insist.

[SCHMITZ] Wait, wait. Barb, wait.

[BARB] I need those lenses
to evade the retinal scan

at the airport,

and you're gonna give them to me.

[SCHMITZ] Sorry, Barb. No can do.

[BARB] [CHUCKLES] Oh, yes, you will.

[LAUGHTER]

By this time tomorrow,
I'll be on a flight

out of Steel Harbor with
that Red Ribbon bioweapon.

[SCHMITZ] By this time tomorrow,

you'll be six feet under.

[BARB] You're pretty cocky
for a guy with a detonator...

- [WOMAN] Oh, my God.
- [BARB] Strapped to his chest.

[LAUGHTER]

[WHIMSICAL MUSIC]

♪ ♪

[ALBERT] Come on. Come on.

♪ Tell me ♪

[ALBERT] Come on. Come on.

♪ Is it a sin to love him? ♪

[YELPS]

[GLASS SHATTERS]

[WHIMPERING]

Give me the money!

- Who are you, man?
- Who am I?

I am become death!

The destroyer of worlds!

[ANNOUNCER] Bare Necessity
starting to fade.

- What the f*ck?
- [ALBERT] No. No, no, no, no.

No... what'd you do that for, man?

[RAND] Shut the f*ck up.

You Prager owe money.
Prager owes Butchie money.

And you owe Butchie money.

Butchie as in Peraino?

Yes! And now you got
me on your f*cking ass.

You did this to yourself,
you f*cking idiot.

f*ck you! You did this to yourself!

You did this to yourself.

♪ ♪

You did this to yourself.

♪ I believe it's wrong ♪

♪ Wrong to love ♪

♪ When the one you love ♪

♪ Won't love you ♪

Should we... get a drink?

♪ If you'd only say ♪

I want to go home.

♪ Love me too ♪

♪ So tell me ♪

♪ That you'll be mine forever ♪

♪ ♪

♪ And I'll never, ever have to ask you ♪
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