02x05 - Crash

[bunniefuu]

ANNOUNCER:
Previously on Felicity...

I was preparing for tonight,
and it just really hit me

what a complete and
total jerk I was to you.

It's fine. We got over it.

Yeah, we did.

Why aren't you preparing
for your big party?

Because I am here
inviting you to it.

Noel's gonna give me a
walking tour of Bleecker Street.

Do you want to come?

No, thanks. I have
a lot of work to do.

Then I will see you
in class next week.

Definitely.

Okay.

I thought you were going
out with Ruby tonight.

Oh, she left. She had to...

She had to go
home for a few days.

How's that goin'?

It's fine, it's nothing.

Can you, uh, pass the ketchup?

Mmm-hmm.

Thank you.

What about you?

You got any
action to talk about?

I mean, I'm not meeting anybody

because I'm swamped
with pre-med classes.

What's your excuse?

I, um...

Can we not talk about this?

Well, we have to
talk about something.

Okay, this is crazy.

What is?

The weirdness, the awkwardness,

the little looks you
keep giving each other.

(CHUCKLES AWKWARDLY)

That is so untrue.

Yeah, come on,
you're being ridiculous.

I'm putting a stop
to it right now.

Ruby told her that she
thought you were hot,

and it's driving her crazy.

Elena...

Oh, and he's going nuts,

worrying about the next
guy you're gonna date.

Look, the two of you
can sit here all night

and not talk to each other.

I've gotta study.

Talk about someone
who needs a date.

No kidding.

Hmm.

Serious sexual frustration.

Totally. Mmm-hmm.

(THEME SONG PLAYING)

ELENA: You bought a what?

A PlayStation. Only $99.

These things are
like time vacuums.

They take hours of the
day and suck them away.

I've seen it happen,
and it's not pretty.

Didn't you ever have
any video games

when you were growing up?

No, but I had a
little doctor's set

with little tongue depressors
and fake stethoscope...

I remember my first time.

It was Atari, and I
was eight years old.

Those little stick figure
men playing basketball,

there was something so
simple and primitive about it.

And then, of course,
there was Nintendo,

which suddenly opened
up a whole new world to me.

I could sit and play Super
Mario Bros. for hours,

like the jumping and the
spinning and the squashing.

This is pathetic. No wonder
you never get any action.

Whoa! I get plenty of action.

Okay, maybe plenty's
an exaggeration,

but it's not because
of video games.

All right, I'm not watching
you play this stupid game...

No, wait, it's not stupid.

See, the goal is to
collect as many gems

and crystals and
relics as possible,

and then you move
on to different worlds,

where you pass blimps
and robots and dinosaurs.

Okay, it sounds a
little stupid. It does.

But it's not.

I mean, look at these graphics!

Whatever. Just turn it down
so I can get some work done,

because this song
is driving me crazy.

All right, okay.

(SIGHS) Dear Sally,

so Elena says that
Noel's going nuts,

worrying about the
next guy I'm gonna date,

which I think is really sweet.

Except he doesn't have
anything to worry about,

since I'm not dating.

Which actually is fantastic.

Seriously, dating no
one is the greatest feeling.

There's no pressure,
no expectations,

no trouble.

Felicity,

can I talk to you for a second?

Uh-huh.

Um, I took a look at
your drawing last night.

I wasn't sure, really, which
way to go with the shading,

and I probably could have
spent a little more time on it.

Whatever you did, keep it up.

Really?

You seem surprised. I
thought it was very good work.

Wow. Professor Sherman,
this means so much to me.

It means a lot to me, too.

It means that you're
really learning something.

Yeah, I guess so.

Can I ask you a favor?

This may seem a little unusual,

and forgive me if it's
too personal a question,

but, uh,

do you have a boyfriend?

Um...

Not right now.

Then I'd like you
to meet my son.

He's a grad student here.

He's a photographer.

He's funny and sweet
and very attractive.

Oh. That, um... I mean,
he sounds really great.

I know, it seems a
little unprofessional,

but I have an
instinct about this.

Really?

So will you do it?

Um...

So what'd you say?

Obviously, I said no.

I told her I had a boyfriend,

after I'd already told her I
didn't have one. Oh, God.

Well, why're you
getting all worked up?

She asked you

if you wanted to
go out with her son.

You said no. End of story.

No, not end of story. She's totally
changed her attitude about me.

Last week, she was
tearing apart my drawing,

and now, all of a sudden,
she gives me an A.

You think she gave you a
grade you didn't deserve?

All I'm saying is, she
asks me for a favor

and then gives me the best
possible grade she could give me.

Well, I wouldn't worry about it.

I mean, setting people up

is just something
old people like to do.

Really?

Oh, yeah. Every
time I see my aunt,

she's got a different
fix-up for me.

I mean, no matter how much
I tell her I am not interested,

she keeps pressing me.

"Go out with Danny, go
out with James." (GIGGLES)

I mean, if it were up to her,

all I would be doing is
going out on blind dates.

Hey. Hi.

Who's going on a blind date?

No one. (LAUGHS)

Felicity's teacher tried
to set her up with her son.

Oh.

I hate to eat and run,

but I have a meeting.

I have to meet
with my lab partner,

to prep for next
Thursday's experiment.

I'll see you guys. JULIE: Bye.

Where's Noel?

I don't know. I think he had
some important work to do

in the apartment, or something.

Oh, yeah.

So...

So...

I have muffins.

We could stay
and have breakfast.

Yeah, okay.

Thanks.

So you gonna go?

You don't want to stay?

No, I mean on your blind date.

Oh.

No. Really?

I like blind dates.

Actually, I just like dates.

(BOTH LAUGH)

I just don't really think
I'm in the frame of mind

for dating right now.

Yeah.

That's why you should
only date B-list people.

B-list? Mmm-hmm.

Guys that you wouldn't
go out with, normally.

So, as in not A-list?

Exactly.

'Cause after you break
up, you're kinda disoriented.

I don't think you would
even recognize an A-list guy

for like two months.

B-list guys,

they're there to go out with
and exercise the muscle.

What muscle?

The dating muscle.

(GIGGLES)

That's what I did after...

My Ben break-up.

Hey, you, uh, you need a hand?

Oh, hey.

Yeah, are you
working this shift?

Yeah, Javier asked me.

I guess someone called
in sick, or something.

Why, is it a problem,

you and I working together?

No, no.

Uh, I'm glad you're
here, actually.

There are four more of these,

and they each weigh
more than I do. Ready?

Right here is fine. Okay.

WOMAN: Excuse me, could I...

Yeah, I'll be there
in just a second.

Actually, I was kind of
hoping he could help me.

Hi. Hi.

I'd like a poppy seed
muffin and a coffee, black.

Okay.

I'll be back in one
second, okay? Sure.

Hey. Hey.

What are you doing here?

Trying to get a
coffee and a muffin.

This is the right
place, isn't it? Yes.

Good.

I tried calling you.

Uh, yeah, my pager isn't
working. Sorry about that.

Well, you want a poppy
seed muffin? And a coffee.

Got it. There you go.

Uh, how about a cappuccino?

I make a pretty good cappuccino.

I'm sure they're terrific,
but I know what I like.

(CHUCKLES) BEN: Okay.

One coffee.

To go.

There you go. Um,
but I was wondering,

you seem to be pretty
good with muffins,

and I'm trying something new.

I could use your opinion.

On your muffins?

Trust me, I don't think
you've ever tasted

homemade muffins
like this before.

Maybe you could stop by
my office tomorrow afternoon?

Um, I have class
tomorrow afternoon.

Oh, my God, class. Yeah.

Um, okay, how
about tomorrow night?

You don't have class
then, do you? No.

No, okay.

Um, that's the address. Okay.

Okay.

Bye. Bye.

Sorry about that. I'll
go get the other sacks.

Thanks. Okay.

So, maybe I should start dating.

I mean, I know what I said
before that not dating was great,

but, you know, I mean,
Ben's obviously doing it.

So is Noel.

Maybe Julie is right. Maybe
I should just get out there.

Yeah, out there.

So, what do you
think's out there?

Shouldn't you be in class?

Only in theory.
Look, I'm on level 20.

I have five more to go,
then I get the speed shoes

and the relic time
warp chamber opens up.

Can't you just save the game,

go get an education,
and then come back?

I could. I just...

I want to finish this game.

(TELEPHONE RINGS)

Please?

(SIGHS)

Hello?

Who is it?

Ah, hello? Hello?

Hey, Ruby. Yeah,
what's going on?

Uh-huh.

Right.

Uh-huh.

Yeah, yeah. No,
I'm listening. I'm...

Hold on, I dropped
the phone, Ruby!

Hold on, I'm coming!

I'm coming. I am.

Hold on, I can't find the phone!

Hold on!

Hey, you there?

No, I'm sorry, I was, uh,

I was in the middle
of something. Um...

Yeah.

Yeah, so what's going on?

Oh, well, when do you get back?

Well, then,

right, maybe we can
go out next weekend?

Really? Great!

Okay.

You're ruining my lives! What?

No, not you!

Uh, re-pause! Re-pause! What?

Re-pause!

Yeah. No, okay. Okay.

Yeah, I'll talk to you later.

Okay, bye.

What the hell is re-pause
supposed to mean?

Re-pause!

SHERMAN: So, bring
up the depth over here,

comparable to this, right?

And a little bit
more definition here.

Thanks. Great.

Hi! Hi. Um...

I'll do it. Which assignment?

No, your son. I'd
like to meet him,

if you're still offering. Great!

I really think you two
are gonna hit it off.

So, how 'bout tomorrow night?

Oh, that's fine.

Um, shouldn't we maybe
ask David first? Or...

I'll call him.

And, could you
wear something light?

I mean, you have
a beautiful face,

and it should be lit.

And a little color on
your lips would be great.

CARL: Ahhh!

I'm telling you,
it's food poisoning.

Carl, everyone
eats the same food,

and you're the
only one who's sick.

I have a very weak constitution.

I feel like throwing up...

All the time.
Here's what you do.

Get your rich parents to
send you some money...

My parents aren't rich.

Take that money, buy
yourself a refrigerator,

get your own food, got it?

Now leave.

Do you even listen to
what you say to people?

Not really.

Oh, that reminds me, some
guy named David called.

He said to meet him
somewhere at 8:00.

Or 8:30... Something.

So which was it, 8:00 or 8:30?

And meet him where?

I don't remember, it
was on the machine.

Oh.

But I deleted it,
by semi-accident.

So I have a date tonight, and now I
have no idea what time to be there?

Don't have a
hissy, just call him.

I can't. I don't know him.

Wait, you're going
on a blind date?

That is so pathetic.

Do you realize that you've reached
a new sub-basement of pathetic?

He's a grad student here, and
his mother is my art teacher.

Oh, God.

What?

Let me just see if I can
spell this out for you.

Grad student plus mother
plus blind date equals gay.

He's not gay.

G-A-Y. Have fun!

If you need to go
to the bathroom,

go ahead. I can wait.

I'm fine.

You should go, though.
Um, I don't have to go.

Huh. Well, good.

Elena, come on!

Why can't I play? It's
our living room, right?

Okay, whatever
happened to video games

being stupid, a waste
of time, a vacuum?

I can suck away my
hours any way I choose.

(GIGGLES)

Wait a second,
you've been practicing.

What makes you say that?

Well, you k*lled that two-headed
blond guy pretty easily.

Beginner's luck.

All right, I tutored this
guy from my chem class.

He had PlayStation.
He worked while I played.

Watch out for
the frog! Oh, sorry!

Let me try that again. No, look,

the only way we're gonna get
past this spot and finish the game,

is if we work together.

Noel...

I think it'd be good for us.

You know, we'd learn
how to deal with each other,

to share, to be
unselfish, like roommates.

What do you mean, like
take turns, or something?

Yeah. Good idea.

(SIGHS)

Okay, so this is
a little exciting.

I mean, it's my
first post-Ben date.

I hope I look pretty enough.

Oh, my God, I'm nervous.

I mean, I'm excited.

Excited about getting out there.

I can't keep still.

So, have you ever
been on a blind date?

Can they actually be fun?

I hope so.

What if we like each other?
Wouldn't that be amazing?

I mean, I always
have this feeling

like I'm gonna click
with the right person.

Maybe that person's
Professor Sherman's son.

Are you...

David, yeah.

Hi, I'm Felicity. Yeah.

So, um...

I guess let's go get a table.

(DOOR OPENING)

So, welcome to
Maggie's Catering.

It's nice.

A lot of flour. Thank you.

Seriously, though,
this place is impressive.

When I started,

I ran the whole business
out of my own kitchen.

Really? So, you actually cook?

(LAUGHS) For six years
I did everything myself.

Cooked, baked, delivered.

My oven was so small,
it used to take six hours

to make a decent-sized
batch of cookies.

Don't touch that, please!

Oh, I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

It's okay, I forgive you.

Okay.

So, is it usually this quiet?

The staff just went home.

Really?

Mmm-hmm.

What about those...
Those muffins?

I'm actually all out.

You're all out of muffins?

So that was just
like a little trick?

Well, why don't
you try an apple tart?

Oh, I'm okay. No, come on.

No, I... Come on, just a bite.

Okay. Okay.

It's good.

You got something on your...

(TELEPHONE RINGS)

MAGGIE ON MACHINE: It's Maggie's
Catering, please leave a message.

WOMAN: Maggie, it's me.

Dr. Simmons wants to
totally change his order.

You've got to get
your pager fixed!

This is a disaster!

I'm here. What's up?

Oh, God.

Uh, hold on.

I have to deal
with this. I'm sorry.

Oh, that's okay, that's
okay. I got a free tart, so...

Maybe we can finish
this another time.

Yeah, do you want to go
out for dinner tomorrow night?

I'd like that.

Okay. Okay.

All right, bye.

(SIGHS) (DOOR CLOSES)

So, when did he decide this?

So, did, um...

You always want to
be a photographer?

I guess.

I always liked pictures.

Your mom's a great teacher.

Growing up with her, it
must have been interesting.

Uh, yeah.

Right.

Are your parents
still married, or...

Nope.

Oh.

How is everything?

Well, the food is delicious.

(SPEAKING FRENCH)

(SPEAKING FRENCH)

(CHUCKLES AWKWARDLY)

(SPEAKING FRENCH)

Would you excuse
me for a second?

You two can chat while
I go use the bathroom.

(SPEAKING FRENCH)

(SPEAKING FRENCH)

(TELEPHONE RINGS)

ELENA: Will you watch out for
the bombs? Those aren't bombs!

Noel, you have to
jump faster than that!

NOEL ON MACHINE:
Hey, it's Noel and Elena.

ELENA ON MACHINE:
It's Elena and Noel.

BOTH: Leave a message! (BEEPS)

FELICITY: Hello? Are you there?

I'm in hell here.
Where are you guys?

God.

JULIE: Hello.

Hey. It's Felicity.

Do you have a second?

Oh. Um, yeah, sure.

(SIGHS) This is a nightmare.

What is?

My date. My B-list date.

Now I finally know
what "B" stands for.

Oh, come on. It
can't be that bad.

He's barely speaking to me.

Maybe he's just shy.

I keep throwing out topics,

and he keeps giving me
one-word answers or grunts.

I don't think he understands

the concept of a date.

I mean, I barely
understand the concept,

but this guy...

What does he look like?

Nothing that makes
up for his behavior.

Well, if it's that bad,
why don't you just leave?

Thank you.

I'll call you later.

Okay.

(SPEAKING FRENCH)

(SPEAKING FRENCH)

ELENA: Slowly... NOEL: Uh-huh.

Slowly... Mmm...

Okay, a little faster.

Okay. Okay, now to the left.

Faster! Faster!

Okay, Noel, now jump!

Come on, Noel!
You have to focus!

All right, we have been stuck

at N. Cortex for
four freaking hours.

Maybe we should just...
Let's just take a break.

No way. We're getting
closer. I can feel it.

(SIGHS)

Look, I don't want to get your
hopes up, but if we get desperate,

we can always call
my cousin for help.

He's got a lot of contacts.

Contacts? In the
video game world.

(DOORBELL RINGS)
Will you get the door?

I am not getting help from some

geeky computer programmer.

Hey. Is Elena here?

ELENA: No!

Uh-uh.

Hey. How was
your date last night?

It was terrible. I
tried calling you

in the middle of it.
Where were you?

Here. Sorry, we were busy.

This is why you
couldn't talk to me?

I'm on the date from hell, and
you two are playing a video game?

Ah... Wait,

I wasn't listening. Huh?

Are you ready to go or what?

Oh, I don't think I
can go out tonight.

Spin him!

Okay, you guys
have to stop this.

This game is like heroin.

Except worse.

Do you want to go
downstairs for a bite?

Not really. Okay.

What about getting
something to eat?

Die, you bastard...
Got him. Nice.

Okay, well, this
was so much fun,

but I have to go
experience the real world.

Outside.

I got it. Oh!

NOEL: Ahhh!

I thought you were
going out for the night.

I am. I just need
to accessorize.

That guy Carl hasn't
been around, has he?

Not since I've been here.
Good. He's driving me nuts

about how that stupid
refrigerator he bought isn't working.

So I guess you weren't
a*-m*rder*d by your blind date.

Nope. I survived.

It was terrible, wasn't it?

Ha. Am I always right or what?

This is perfect.

Later.

Is this Felicity's room?

Maybe.

I'm sorry to drop by so late.

I'm sure I'm the last
person you want to see

after last night, but, uh...

Um, can we talk
alone for a second?

David... What do you want?

I was wondering if you
and I can go out again.

You're kidding. No.

You think I'd want to go out
with you again after last night?

Well... It was horrible.

I mean, seriously,
have you ever thought

about asking someone
a question for a change?

I know, and... There's
a give-and-take involved

in conversing with someone.

You seem to have the
take part down really well.

Just the give that
seems to stump you.

You were self-absorbed,
bad-mannered, and bitter.

The answer to your
question's obviously no.

Look, just so you know, that was
the first date I've had in a while.

I could tell. Months. Okay?

I've been sort of a mess.

I was in France
on a photo sh**t,

and my girlfriend, Jessica...

We'd been going
out for a year...

She was supposed to
come and meet me at the end

so we could travel
around together.

And she didn't show up.

No. She showed and
explained how she was sorry,

but she was getting married

to my best friend
since I was six.

And since then I've
tried dating a few times,

but it was always a disaster,

so if I was a little out of it,

it might have something
to do with the fact

that my world has been
sort of upside-down.

Or... Maybe not.
Maybe I'm just a jerk.

Probably deserve
everything you said.

I know I do.

I'm sorry.

I think you were a
little harsh on him.

I love Soho.

I used to live a few
blocks from here.

Oh, yeah? Mmm-hmm.

Where do you live
now? Uh, 5th Avenue.

5th Avenue. Mmm-hmm.

It's a little vague.

Are you afraid I'm
gonna come by,

start harassing your
doorman or something?

Yeah, something like that. Sure.

Listen, I live just
around the corner. Um...

Do you want to... I don't know,

do you want to
come up for some...

Coffee? For some coffee, yeah.

You don't have
any coffee, do you?

No, I don't. (LAUGHS)

You still want to come up?

Uh... You don't live with a
bunch of frat boys, do you?

Is that what you
think of me? Yeah.

Sure.

SEAN: All right.

BEN: Mmm-hmm.

Uh, you want me to taste that?

No, you don't have
to taste anything.

If we can find a
way to work together,

it'd be extremely
beneficial for both of us.

See, you never
should've told him

what you do for a living.
That was your first mistake.

Let me give you my
theory on... Sean?

Yeah? Don't you
have to be somewhere?

Yeah, in a minute. No,
it's okay. I wanna hear this.

Okay.

Going to a catered party

is like going to jail, right?

Because the people
there will eat anything.

They have no choice.

Right? They're stuck in
one place. They're starving.

So what you're saying
is that it doesn't matter

what the food
actually tastes like.

No, no, not at all.

What I'm saying is if you put
out this condiment, Smoothaise,

people then will
be forced to try it.

Right? Because it's there.

Then they'll ask you where
you got it from and then, boom!

Suddenly you and I are
in the condiment market.

Okay, Sean.

What? Time to leave.

Okay. Before I
do, if you just...

Could you do me a
favor and just taste this?

That's all I'm asking
for, is just a taste.

Sean, don't make her
taste anything. Okay?

SEAN: Just a little. Okay.

A little. There.

Yeah, there you go.

Huh?

Mmm-hmm. Mmm.
It's early yet, though.

It's still in the R&D phase.

BEN: Why don't you give her a
call when it's in the edible phase?

How about that? SEAN: Okay.

You know what, give
me 24 hours, okay?

I'm going to a
Russian spice store

in Brighton Beach.
Open all night.

Sorry about that.

That's okay. I have
a strong palate.

Yeah.

I should, uh, I should go, too.

Really?

Yeah. I'm sure you have an early
class in the morning or something.

No, no. I got, uh,

I got nothing to do.

I, uh...

I think you should stay.

How old are you anyway?

Um...

Hey.

I would k*ll for a cup
of coffee right now.

Yeah.

So I really had a
nice time last night.

Yeah. Me, too.

When do you think I
can see you again?

Um...

I really don't think
that that's such a...

Such a good idea.

What does that mean?

Hello?

What does that mean?

Nothing. I just
think that we both

got caught up in
the moment a little.

You know, I really don't care
how much older you are than me.

It's not that.

Really. It's not that?

Yeah. Really.

Look, I gotta
go, but I'll, um...

I'll call you later.

Sure.

(DOOR CLOSES)

I... I don't understand
why it needs to be in here.

Because this is where the repairman
comes. Would you please tell him?

No, no. Do not look at me.

This was your project
from the beginning.

You talk to him.

But he freaks me out.

You know I can hear you, right?

And I care about that why?

You'll make sure it's
cold enough, right?

Do you know what kind of diseases
can grow in a broken refrigerator?

I mean, if food is
improperly preserved,

it's like a breeding
ground for bacteria.

Trichinosis,
salmonella, botulism.

It'll be fine.

Check back with
me in a few weeks.

Few weeks?

What's wrong with the fridge?

Nothing. The thermostat
wasn't turned down,

but I told him it was busted,

so now you and I
have separate fridges.

Meghan. Hey,
problem solved! Right?

For you.

David, you didn't have to. I...

And cookies in case
you don't like flowers.

Probably not the best idea,

considering where you work.

I don't know exactly what
I've done to deserve this, but...

I mean, what would you have
done if we'd had a good date?

This is what I would
want someone to do

if they treated me the way I
treated you the other night.

You know...

It was the first time
I'd been out in a while,

and everyone, my
friends, my family,

they've all been on
my case to go out.

Which, obviously, is
not a reason to do it.

Or an excuse for my behavior.

But I am sorry.

Apology accepted.

It's funny. I guess
we're kind of...

Going through the same thing.

I was... I was
talking to a friend...

Uh, this was before
I met you, and...

She was talking about, you
know, getting out there and how...

How I should only
be dating B-list people.

B-list people?

Yeah, because, uh...

Right now, if I met...

The greatest guy in the
world, I wouldn't even know it.

So you broke up with
someone recently, too,

and I was your B-list person.

That was the plan.

Ah.

(CHUCKLES)

Ah, you know, I was so
busy sabotaging the date,

and I was a little drunk,

I never really
bothered to look at you

or listen to what
you were saying.

Now I wish I had.

Is there any way you'll
give me one more chance

and go out with me again?

One? One.

One.

Hold on. Let me get a pen.

Mmm-hmm.

Hmm. Okay, go ahead.

Thanks, Alex.

It's never gonna happen.

It's like Super
Mario all over again.

I get so close I can taste it,

and it just... It
just falls apart.

Not so fast.

I just talked to my cousin,

and he gave me
the number of a guy.

You got a number?

He says he can help
us get past this level.

(EXHALES) I guess
we should call him.

(DIALING)

No! Forget it! Hang up!

What? We are gonna
do this ourselves,

or we're gonna die trying.

(SIGHS ANGRILY)

BEN: Hey. Are you leaving?

FELICITY: Uh, yeah.
My workday is done, so...

BEN: Well, mine's
just starting. It sucks.

I heard that your teacher's

trying to set you
up with her son.

You guys ever go out?

(CHUCKLES) Well, yeah. It
didn't go very well, but, um...

I think we're gonna
try again tonight.

What about you?

Are you seeing anybody?

Yeah, I don't know if
we're seeing each other.

I don't know.

Was it the, uh, the woman

who came in the other day?

You know, she
was kind of... Older?

Oh, she's not...
She's not that old.

No. God, I didn't
mean that in a bad way.

Yeah.

Well...

I hope it works out for you.

Yeah. I hope it
works out for you, too.

All right. Well, I'll see you.

Okay.

(HUMMING)

Hey.

Hey.

What are you doing?

Just fine-tuning Smoothaise.

I think I had a real breakthrough
here. You wanna taste this?

No. Anyone call for me? No.

Oh, yes. Your mother called.

My mother called?

(LAUGHS) Oh, man.
Did I just say your mother?

Yeah. I meant your lover.

(LAUGHING)

Very funny.

Hey, you know what?
You're at your sexual prime,

she's at her sexual prime. Yeah.

It's perfect, right? Did
she leave a number?

Yeah. Her new pager number.

Apparently she'll be
running around all day.

It's on the counter
over there. But listen...

Watch out with her.

I think she's a little
out of your league.

Okay. I'm serious.

I don't want to
see you get hurt.

I know.

DAVID: The magazine needed
pictures inside the bridge,

but the guard kept saying no.

Until I got to 100.

And then he was like,
100 bucks? No problem.

So he let you in. Yeah.
Inside Verrazano Bridge.

It's like a part of New York
no one ever gets to see.

These giant cables that
keep the bridge standing.

I got some incredible sh*ts.

Uh, your mom says
you're a great photographer.

Well, don't trust your source.

My mother has a
tendency to exaggerate.

Yeah, tell me about it.

Okay, when I was in junior high,

my parents were
already telling everyone

what a great doctor I would be.

My mom sent me to Europe
to study the great painters.

I'm pretty sure it kills her

every time she sees
me with a camera.

Isn't it weird how parents have

all these expectations for you

before you can even
have them for yourself?

I know.

I feel like such a
disappointment.

Isn't that horrible?

Well, here's to two
disappointments.

(BOTH LAUGHING)

ELENA: Is this Gary?

I got your number from Alex,

and he says you can help us.

We're on the final boss level.

Okay.

He wants you to get ready.

All right.

Now, when he starts
throwing fireballs,

move all the way to the left.

Now what?

He wants you to
rush up behind him

and then spin him
towards the middle.

It didn't work. It didn't work.

Now what?

Noel, try it again, but this
time, wait five seconds,

move back to the middle
before you rush him.

(EXHALES)

Five seconds, middle. Got it.

Damn it! I d*ed again.

That didn't work either.

Did you try the jump-and-spin?

Yes, I tried it!

He doesn't think you're
very good at this game.

Who is this guy? I
don't think he knows

what the hell he's
talking about! Here.

Listen, jackass, do you have
any idea what you're saying,

or are you just some moron
who has nothing better to do

with his time than sit
around and give bad advice?

What...

He's crying.

That's because he's seven.

Years old?

Oh.

ELENA: Gary?

He didn't mean that.

♪ I aim to please you

♪ What's best for
you must be best for me

♪ Don't shake your head

♪ I'll do better

♪ Don't walk away

♪ I'll try harder ♪

So, this is me.

I had a great time tonight.

Yeah. So did I.

Well, good night.

Good night.

Hey, I don't know

if you're ever gonna want
to go out with me again,

but I've been thinking about it,

and it'd be an honor
to be your B-list person.

(LAUGHS)

(KNOCK AT DOOR)

Hold on.

Hey. Hey.

What? Oh, I just
wanted to make sure

you guys aren't still
playing that game.

Oh, no. No, thank
God. We're, uh...

We're all through. Four
days was more than enough,

I think. Besides,
I decided, uh...

Well, I'm a little too
mature for video games.

That's a relief.

I know, huh?

So, Elena's not here.

Uh, she went to the library.

Oh. Yeah.

But... Look, come in. Hang out.

Yeah?

Okay.

I'm sorry about the...

Um, stuff.

It's, uh...

(LAUGHS) What is this?

It's nothing.

The It Girl's Guide to Video?

Yeah. Um...

It's actually, uh...

I bought it for Ruby.
It's just this little...

It's this little thing. For
renting videos. I don't know.

It sounds fun.

Yeah, I hope so.

Hope she likes it.

So, what'd you do tonight?

Um...

Um...

I, uh...

I just went and grabbed dinner.

Oh. Well, I was
thinking about, uh...

Going to grab some
coffee. You wanna come?

Yeah. I would love to. Yeah?

FELICITY: I don't know why
I didn't tell him about David.

I guess it just didn't
seem very important.

It's just weird,

talking about B-list
people with an A-list guy.