02x05 - PB Without J

[bunniefuu]

Katie was working her butt
off for her London trip

and I was busy with
school and basketball,

but we were still in
constant communication.

Katie, you are the worst
at costume ideas.

We are not dressing as photosynthesis.

Okay, okay, okay.

A cup and a saucer? Mmm... no.

No, a coffee stirrer and a
sugar dispenser. Gotta go.

At last, the college applications
are in! Caltech, UCLA, Berkeley.

- And I'm now all yours.
- Oh good! You've been obsessed.

But not as obsessed as your
parents with Halloween!

This place looks like a haunted house.

Or a Halloween store with
a super nice kitchen.

Yeah, this is like their Christmas.

They like to spread the holiday fear.

E-mail confirmation.
Stanford got my application!

Hmm. Sounds like you really got
your heart set on California.

Yeah, guess I do.

Maybe I'll take up surfing.

This guy knows what I'm talking about.

Uh, tell Katie I say hi.

Sorry, we're figuring
out our combo costumes

for Hannah's Halloween party.

Oh, really?

Because I thought we could do
a couples costume this year.

You know, 'cause... we're a couple.

I was thinking something crazy like,
uh... Issac Newton and an apple.

That's hilarious!

But you're not joking, so let me say,

you'd be the cutest Isaac Newton ever.

Well, I kinda saw me as the apple.

I'm sorry.

Katie and I've been doing
costumes together forever.

Man...

you two have been, uh, more
inseparable than ever lately.

No we haven't!

Plus, you've been busy with
your college applications.

I just mean, we haven't had
a lot of you and me time.

We went on a dinner date last week.

With Katie.

Okay, the nachos platter
is way too big for two.

But...

I am going to your Mathlete
competition tomorrow night.

Better. It's a big one.

We're up against the state champs.

The Alge Bros.

I wouldn't miss it.

Hey! You guys want a snack?
I'm going to cut up a pear.

Okay. Mom, you can't just
dangle the word "snack"

and then cut up a fruit.

That's a bait and switch.

Ow. Oh. Yeah!

I cut my finger!

Woo! Yeah, well, that's
really coming out.

- Oh!
- That... that thing is really, I mean...

That's a lot of...

I think I'm gonna be sick.

Ahh! Haha!

- Oh, the looks on your faces!
- Oh!

I think we took a year off of
their lives and added it to ours.

- Good one, guys.
- Oh, yes!

Yeah, that was...

That was really good. Very enjoyable.

Babe! I'm loving your
new fake blood recipe.

Gotta try that on ice cream.

You know, you're pretty
handsome with that chainsaw.

Ah, you aren't so bad yourself,
Little Miss Finger Slicer.

Okay, okay! You've scared
us enough for one day.

I am so excited about your
Halloween party, Hannah!

- Wait, who's going?
- Everybody.

Usually Missy Haberman hosts it,

but since Hannah dropped
her at cheer practice,

they'll all be at Hannah's.

Except for Missy.

This party could make or
break us. Don't screw it up.

Okie dokie, Reganokie!

Oh, boy.

Here you go! They take forever to make,

but I'm the master of
the candy corn latte.

Uh, yeah. Barry says
it'll come right off

with some... coarse sandpaper.

Oh, let's go shop for decorations.

We need this party to say...
"Who's Hannah's awesome friend?"

I don't know. Who?

So...

Dylan wanted me to do
a costume with him.

He thinks you and I are
more inseparable than ever.

Oh, that's sweet!

No, in a bad way. It's...

- Ridiculous. I mean, it's not like...
- We're always together...

And finish each other's sentences.

Well, he'll forget all about that

when he sees us at the party.

- Dressed as peanut butter and jelly.
- Yes!

We're two halves of the
greatest sandwich in history.

We are inseparable.

But also separable.

The halves can be
pulled apart if needed.

Darn right they can.

Though I don't think
anyone would want that.

They are better together.

Katie! Biffelsis.

Oh, look! Lucas is taking
his Gwenny out for a walk.

Hmm. The small talk portion is over.

I need one decaf non-fat machiatto
with a splash of vanilla for me,

and one not too hot, hot
chocolate for the boy.

b*rned my tongue last time.

I'm a gulper.

Aww!

Her decaf...

is going to be all caf.

Taking a break. You are in charge.

Fastest promotion in
the history of coffee.

Yeah, I am running things around here.

Fifty large candy corn lattes.

- Uh, fifteen?
- Fifty.

The rest will be here after they
pull Janice out of the ravine.

It'll take me forever to
make all those drinks.

Don't worry, Peanut
Butter. Jelly's got you!

We have gloves?

I'm sorry, Jack. We don't say
those things in this house.

I don't agree.

The Hulk is ten times
bigger than Superman.

He'd totally win.

Dude! Superman's a zillion times
faster than broccoli face.

Plus, he can fly, and he
has a super-cool cape.

That cape is key.

- The cape is useless...
- The cape is key!

Weird.

Watch it!

I have mace in here.

Somewhere.

I have had just about enough...

Ahh!

Oh! Did you see that face?

Are you kidding me?

I wanna see that face
every time I see her face.

Thought I was gonna get
my head chopped off.

Funny stuff.

So you really didn't know it was us?

No! I thought you were depraved maniacs.

I'm certainly in the ballpark.

Well, we're just happy to
bring a smile to your face.

Yeah, and a little pee to my pants.

Uh, let's roll, Chapo. We've
got more neighbors to visit.

Oh, and that sweet little retired couple

that just moved across the street.

- You think they can handle it?
- We'll find out!

You know, every Halloween, those
two scare the noodles out of us.

This year...

we're getting revenge!

You with me, Jack?

I used to like clowns.

This two-person unicorn is adorable!

I'll be the head, you can be the butt.

That's the tenth costume you suggested.

And every time, I'm the butt.

Fine, what do you think
our costumes should be?

I don't know. Something cool like...

a girl robot and a burrito.

This is why you'll never be the head.

Thanks, bye.

- We did it! Up high!
- Too tired.

- Down low.
- Yeah.

Okay, let's split these tips.

Uh, no, no, no. You're
saving for London.

I'm not taking no, no, no for an answer.

You earned it.

I get 33% of the tips,

so we each get 50% of my percentage.

This sounds like a
calculator situation. Hmm.

Of course if Dylan were here,
he could just do it in his head

because he's such a math...

Mathletes! Dylan!

Run!

Oh, my God! Dylan.

How late am I?

Very. It's over.

Crap.

Well, how did you do?

We won.

We b*at state champs.

That's great!

I'm so sorry.

I got totally distracted helping Katie.

This huge group came into Wired...

Great.

I won tonight, but once again
I come in second to Katie.

What?

I had something important to me, Alexa,

but you chose Katie.

So this is about Katie.

No.

It's about you not being there.

It wasn't on purpose. She's my best
friend and she needed my help.

Well... I'm your boyfriend,

and these competitions are a big deal.

Mathletes is going to help me
get into UCLA or Stanford.

I know, I know.

We wouldn't want anything
getting in the way

of you surfing in California.

What?

Nothing. I said I was sorry.

You were sorry, when you
had to get off the phone

because you had to tell Katie something.

You were sorry when I wanted
to take you to the movies,

but you had already seen
them all with Katie.

So... sorry? But...

I've had it with "I'm sorry."

Well, then good news.

Because that was my last "I'm sorry."

Alexa!

Hey, MVM!

Most Valuable Mathlete.

Guys want to carry you
off on our shoulders.

- Okay, okay.
- Yeah, yeah.

It's cool, dude. We're
just gonna clap a little.

Don't bother jumping out.
I know you're there.

Such a party pooper!

It's not a total loss. Lucas
will be home any minute.

Yes, that's right, he's
our easy screamer!

Should we squirt more
blood on everything?

You know the answer to that
question is always yes!

Here he comes!

I'm the butt, you're the butt. Ugh!

Stupid couples costumes!

Aah! I'm too pretty to die!

You guys said you weren't
doing that this year.

We lied because... it's fun!

You guys really enjoy
Halloween together.

Hmm. Maybe getting along is more
important than being a burrito.

Well, that was fun
till he got all talky.

Hey, I, uh, found your
basketball hoop in the tree.

Hmm. Thanks.

So, I'm... guessing things
didn't go well with Dylan.

We had a big fight.

Aw!

He was mad that I missed his Mathlete
thing because I was with you.

- Oh, no.
- But he's being totally unreasonable.

He's so desperate to go to California.

Why do I care what he thinks?

Look, you two just
need to talk this out.

Don't wanna talk to him.

But he's right.

Okay? If you hadn't stayed to help
me, this wouldn't have happened.

- This is my fault.
- It's not your fault.

Tell me you get it. It's not your fault.

Yeah, I totally get it.

Of course I get it. Why
wouldn't I get it?

Hmm. I gotta go.

Oh, there you are.

Not in the mood, Katie.

Uh, of course.

Saw your selfie on Instagram.

"Coffee for one."

Whatever you're trying to do... don't.

You and Alexa belong together.
You two just need to talk.

It's too soon. I'm still frustrated.

Okay, okay. Then how about at the
Halloween party tomorrow night?

- I don't know.
- It's perfect. Okay?

You'll be at a party.
Everyone's in a good mood.

And before you know it you'll be like,

"What Mathlete competition?"

It was a super important competition.

I'm just saying,

I'd hate to see a stupid
fight keep you two apart.

After all...

Halloween is the season...

of forgiveness.

Well, half that made sense.

Okay!

But... I don't have a costume.

Wait. I have an idea!

And it is a great idea!

I mean, sometimes I get ideas,

but this is an idea.

Okay, I'll drop off the
costume before the party.

- Okay.
- Hmm.

Thanks, Katie.

I'm going to get those
two kids back together.

Who cares?

Alexa?

What?

Do you mind?

I'm watching videos of cats
being mean to each other.

Okay, well, watch them all now

because tomorrow night
is Hannah's party,

- and parties have a way of...
- No, I'm not going.

- Not a chance.
- What?

I don't want to see Dylan.

Ow.

And you won't! Yeah. Hannah
said he was not going. Hmm.

- Really?
- Totally. True. Really.

You'll feel better if you go
out, and... have a good time.

And after all,

Halloween is the season of
getting your mind off things.

That does make sense.

Yeah, I will go!

I'm not going to let
Dylan ruin my Halloween.

Yeah! Keep hope alive!
See what the night brings.

What? That's a lot of candy!

We'll have so much leftover!

Well, that's why God made pajama jeans.

Oh! What's this?

Huh.

Let's see...

"Dear Dave and Lori,

thanks for all the Tricks and Treats
over the years. Love, Jennifer."

- That is so sweet!
- Aww!

Now, that was funny!

Ha-ha! Ha-ha-ha!

Yes, we did it, Jack!

Yeah, we scared the noodles out of them!

You really got us.

Usually we get you.

Oh, that's a good point!

I hadn't thought of that
nonstop for the past 24 hours.

Well, good for you.

A quick, quick question though. Uh...

did you saw a hole in our table?

Wow!

I guess I did.

I just got so wrapped
up in it. I didn't...

You guys just set the bar
so high, I had no choice!

Such a clean cut.

My grandpa would be impressed.

He made this table.

It's okay. Uh...

because I have the piece.

No one will even be able to tell, look.

See!

- Good as new.
- Yeah.

- Happy Halloween!
- Yeah, free the room.

Happy Halloween!

Happy Halloween!

- That's not getting old at all.
- Oh, good!

- Happy Halloween!
- Ugh!

Oh, perfect! We're out of bowls.

Hope they have cups.

Interesting costume.

What are you?

I'm a unicorn's butt.

Okay, I see that now.

Beep beep.

- Gwenny, you're...
- A girl robot.

Hello!

I can't believe you wore that for me.

And you dressed as a
unicorn's butt for me!

I never thought I'd say those words.

I never thought I'd hear those words.

You know, even though I'm a robot...

and you're a unicorn butt...

we still fit together.

Like a pair of scary old clowns.

How are your parents?

This will make sense when
Peanut Butter gets here.

Happy Halloween, Jelly!

- Where is Peanut Butter?
- She said she'll meet me here.

Hey, guys!

I decided to dress as
a Master Chef. See?

Pot? Oven mitt?

It's a terrible costume. But
she sells it with attitude.

Oh, good! We're out of bowls.

Wait, why aren't you wearing
your peanut butter costume?

Because I found somebody
who wore it better.

Katie, what did you do?

Hi.

Hi.

Do I need to do everything?

Okay. Think. In life...

there are things that
just belong together.

Like peanut butter and jelly.

So, even if Jelly missed Peanut
Butter's Mathlete competition, and,

even if Peanut Butter wasn't
understanding of how much help

Jelly's best friend needed...

those aren't reasons to pull
a delicious sandwich apart.

What a monologue. There's
literally nothing she can't do.

- Are you done?
- Yeah! All that's left...

is for you two to make up.

Proceed.

- That was awesome!
- Yeah.

Guess I should have gone as
Cupid for Halloween, huh?

The reindeer?

I should have known that
Katie would do this.

I'm glad she did.

Yes, she's got a good heart.

And she's right.

We do make a pretty good sandwich.

Aww!

Look...

I hate how things went down yesterday.

Yeah, me too.

Thank you for apologizing.

I didn't apologize. I
didn't do anything wrong.

Ooh.

- You didn't?
- No.

Are you sure?

Yeah, I was at my Mathlete competition,

which you bailed on to help Katie.

You're right. I have been
spending more time with Katie.

And less time with me.

Because you're going away to college.
And that's all you talk about.

Right. I'm weirdly obsessed
with having a future.

I want you to go to college.

But every time you bring it up,

you never talk about what that
means for us when you're gone.

Well...

I hadn't thought about that.

Well, I have.

So, what's the plan?

Would we... be long-distance?

Would you come back for holidays...

or would we break up?

I...

I don't know.

What do you mean you don't know?

I don't know.

Well, then I do know.

Are we breaking up?

I guess we are.

I'm so sorry.