03x05 - All I Want for Christmas is You

[bunniefuu]

[Alexa] After a long semester,
we were finally on Christmas break.

While Katie was decorating cookies,

I was thinking about Dylan
coming home from college.

Oh, I'm so happy Barry let me host
my canned food drive at Wired.

And he gave me extra shifts.

Aww! More work!

And you thought Barry
wasn't gonna get you anything.

Okay, so maybe his heart
is three sizes too small,

but if it means extra money,
oh, I am fine with it.

Oh, reindeer cookies!

- Hey!
- Ah!

Those are for people who donate food.

- No one wants one with a smooshed face.
- Jack!

Okay, I'll smoosh your face!

[phone dings]

- Oh, Spencer?
- Dylan.

Dylan?

Remember how he texted me confetti
after we won our basketball game?

Then I sent a unicorn
and then he sent a puppy dog face.

This is the first time I'm seeing him
since he left for college and...

I'm kind of excited.

Excited to see if something's still there?

Maybe I'm excited to see if maybe
there's still something there.

Oh! Nice use of the double maybe-maybe.

- What about Spencer?
- We're just friends.

[phone dings]

- Spencer?
- Dylan.

You know, I haven't heard
from Spencer in a couple days.

Hope everything's okay.

- [phone dings]
- Dylan?

- Dylan.
- [gasps] I got one! [chuckles]

Hey, thanks for helping me
put up all those flyers.

I hope we get a big turnout
at the food drive.

You know, colleges love this stuff,

and it's good for hungry people.
And for college.

But mostly hungry people.

Well, I don't think they're gonna want
the broken one.

Where?

You got Rudolph.

[audience laughing]

♪ I've got you ♪

♪ When I can't take it any longer ♪

♪ You make me feel stronger ♪

♪ I've got you ♪

♪ When I can't take it
You make it so much better ♪

♪ We'll do this together ♪

♪ Oh-oh-oh-oh
We'll do this together ♪

♪ I've got you ♪

♪ Oh-oh-oh-oh ♪

♪ We'll do this together ♪

It... It's weird without mom telling me
I'm doing it wrong.

[audience laughing]

You know, I'm glad mom loves
being an event planner,

but it makes me sad
decorating without her.

Well, she's been getting home so late
with all these holiday parties.

She didn't wanna make us wait
any longer.

Not there, Lucas.

Thanks.

But it's not the same.

[audience laughing]

[sighs]

I can't do this without Mom.

How hard can it be?

So hard.

Well, I'm gonna go find something
for Katie's food drive.

That's the spirit.

Christmas is all about the giving.
Go ahead. Take whatever you want.

Oh, not the peaches. I really like those.

But I guess so do the hungry.
Go ahead, take the peaches.

- Where are you going?
- Get more peaches.

[audience laughing]

Thank you so much for the donation.

Enjoy a complimentary reindeer cookie.
Merry Christmas.

Here are your three French presses,
two berry scones,

♪ And a partridge in a pear tree ♪

[chuckles]

Yeah, we have fun.

I still can't believe I agreed to this.
We sell cookies here.

Not Christmas cookies.

And we still don't,
'cause you're giving them away.

This is true,

but it's bringing in a ton of customers

who are buying coffee
and un-Christmas cookies.

So I see it as a win-win.

Still don't like it.

Wow! Quite the turnout!

And check out my festive
can Christmas tree.

Okay, right now
it's a can Christmas shrub.

Well, this will help it grow.

[gasps] Oh, peaches!

Hey, guys, check this out.

Since Barry's such a Scrooge, there's
a bet to see who can make him laugh.

[blowing raspberries]

Get out.

[audience laughing]

He'll laugh later when he gets it.

You guys want in? It's only a dollar.

I don't have a dollar
and Barry doesn't have a sense of humor.

[audience laughing]

Here's two dollars,
one for me and one for Katie.

Aww, thank you!

Seriously, Barry never laughs.

[audience laughing]

- Thanks for doing our gift exchange here.
- Yeah, of course.

Opening gifts
is my favorite part of Christmas.

Well, right after returning them
for what I really want.

I'm just happy
we're able to do this at all.

I still need to pack
to go to my grandma's.

I'm so glad we're going
to my mom's mom's house,

and not my mom's mom's house.

Oh, hold on a sec.

Gotta do the do-gooding. Heh.

Oh, thank you!

Enjoy a complimentary reindeer cookie.
Merry Christmas.

Oh, thank you!
Enjoy a complimentary reindeer cookie.

Merry Christmas.

Oh, thank you!
Enjoy a complimentary reindeer cookie.

Merry Christmas.

Oh, thank you!
Enjoy a complimentary reindeer cookie.

Merry Christmas.
Oh, thank you. Enjoy a complimentary...

[door bell rings]

[grunts]

[audience laughing]

What up, Mr. Mendoza?

It's me, Dylan.

Dylan, oh.

I didn't recognize you
without your glasses.

And that hair.

All that other stuff going on.

- Dylan, dude!
- [chuckles]

- What's up, man?
- Hey.

Oh, wow!

You look so tan!

And you look so...

comfortable.

Thanks.

I got a nice study-belly over finals.

I'll take it off after New Year's.

Well, bro, you should really
try out some Ult Fris.

Ultimate Frisbee.

Oh, oh, bro, we do this thing at Stanford
where we use abbrevs for everything.

Hey, check this out.

[blows] Heh.

That was a scoob, short for scoober.

You guys learn a lot at Stanford.

You wanna see my dorm room?

Don't you live here?

Yeah, but I put my bed over my desk,
and I wear flip-flops in the shower.

[audience laughing]

Hey! Thanks for agreeing to watch Jack
while I go on this date.

- I don't remember agreeing to that.
- Oh, that's weird, 'cause I do. Bye.

[audience laughing]

A Christmas train set.

What?

Oh, my trains!

Lori said this got ruined in a flood.

That happened while I was out of town.

Okay, a latte for you,

a macchiato for you,

and for you,

an extra hot cafe au lait
with a double sh*t of espresso,

half whole milk, half non-fat, one packet
of brown sugar, one packet regular sugar,

and a double pump of vanilla syrup.

[audience laughing]

- Katie, come on.
- I have to go soon.

I asked for extra foam.

Eh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Nutmeg.

Eh, I have my Epi-pen.

- [pants] Uh, where were we? Right, gifts.
- [Barry] Katie!

More do-gooders!

Okay, sorry!

So, when are you meeting Dylan?

After the gift exchange.

Ooh!

Something going on there?

No. Maybe.

Ah, we'll see. [giggles]

Okay, I'm here!

- [Barry] Customer!
- And I'm gone!

Well, this is fun.

Well, you know what is fun? Winning money.

Hey, Barry,
do I have something in my teeth?

[audience laughing]

[giggling] You said "teeth,"
but it's on your nose.

Okay, this time for real.

You, drop that cookie!

- What cookie?
- That cookie, the one in your hand.

They're for people who donated.

You did not!

Looks like I did.

Not bad.

Not great either.
Could use a little more butter.

I'm gonna guess!

Smells like apples and elephants!

Coconut! So close!

Aw, you opened the candles without me?

Sorry Katie, I really gotta go.

Christmas selfie before you leave?

- Yeah.
- Yeah.

- [Barry] Register!
- [camera shutter sound]

Okay, send it to me.

[audience laughing]

Yeah, she's not gonna want that one.

Oh!

Reindeer.

Do you have any snowmen?

It's a free cookie, lady.
Take it or leave it.

[audience laughing]

Ah, that wasn't very jolly.

[sighs] I guess I didn't realize
how hard it would be working

while everyone else is having fun.

But, you know what?
The food drive's a success.

I'm making money
and I got a great selfie with my friends.

[chuckles] Yeah.

Well, just hang in there.
I'll be right back.

- Ah, Dylan?
- Spencer.

Spencer.

I'm gonna go check in on Spencer
and then come back to see Dylan.

Mm. Well, have fun!

They do need butter.

[audience laughing]

This is the coolest thing ever!

Yeah, right?

What do you say we build a bridge
over the coffee table?

We can do that?

We can do anything we want, Jack.

It's a world of trains.

[audience laughing]

[whistle blows]

All aboard.

[audience laughing]

Are you sure you don't wanna
be a train conductor instead of a pilot?

[chuckles]

I am a train conductor.

Now, let's get building.

Hi.

Thought you were going on a date.

I just came to say goodbye to Jack.

You never say goodbye to me.

Oh, Jack!

So I guess I should, uh, go...

What?

We didn't say anything.

Oh, trains!

Hey, that looks like fun.

What about your date?

Oh! I got a little time.

And you know how much I love trains.

Hand me that... That thingamabob.

- You mean "track"?
- Sure, whatever.

Hey, I made a rainbow.

[audience laughing]

The way your mini-fridge doubles
as a sock drawer,

very impressive.

- Ready to go to the co-ho?
- Co-ho?

Yeah, coffee house!

Right, abbrevs. Heh, heh!

But it's called Wired,
so why don't you just say Wi?

- Why?
- Exactly.

- What?
- No, Wi.

Why, why?

- No, one Wi.
- Huh?

- Hi, Mrs. Walker.
- Oh, Alexa.

I've got it, Mom.

Hey, Alexa. What's up?

I hadn't heard from you, and I wanted
to wish you a Merry Christmas.

Oh, thanks.

I feel bad I didn't get you anything.
I've just been a little tired lately.

I... No, I totally get it.

Oh, I... I like the Wizards hat.
I've never seen you in a hat before.

Oh, yeah.

Hey, if you don't mind, I...

Uh, sure. Merry Christmas.

Yeah. Merry Christmas.

Building the dream...

one track at a time.

[audience laughing]

Thanks.

Maybe one day I can wear the hat.

[laughs]

Ah, Jack.

Well, who put the gumdrops
on top of the train depot?

Oh! That was me.

You did red, red, green, green, white,
white.

It's supposed to be red, white, green,
red, white, green. It's so simple.

[audience laughing]

Dave, I think you have a train problem.

You think I need more trains?

No.

There's a reason
that Lori made up a flood.

I think you know what I'm getting at.

I don't have a train problem.

You're the one that's gumdropping
all over the place.

If anyone here
has a train problem, it's you.

What does that even mean?

Well, for someone
who's supposed to be on a date,

you're oddly interested
in building a train set.

It's hard!

Putting myself out there, again and again.

It's like when I get in the "ten items
or less line" with items.

I know it's not gonna work out
but I just keep doing it anyway.

You're putting too much pressure
on yourself.

Just relax and have a good time.

You know, you're right.

So, you gonna go on the date?

Oh, no, I already canceled.

But I'm gonna go on the next one.

And I'm gonna enjoy it.

Or I'm gonna have the worst time
of my life, but I'm definitely gonna go.

It's finished!

- All aboard the Christmas Town Express!
- Hey.

[Jennifer laughing]

Hey, is that a Cocoa Caboose?

No, it's not a caboose.
It's clearly in the middle of...

Yeah, I have a train problem.

[audience laughing]

- Cocoa's good though.
- Yeah, it is.

Mm.

Scored us some jelly doughnuts.

Yeah, I don't really eat those anymore.

I'm gluten-free.

And just generally doughnut-free.

All right, two for me.

We need some milk.

Fat-free milk.

Olives? Get out.

[audience laughing]

Wow, that was so Barry of you.

Well, I'm, uh, having a tough time keeping
the "Bahs" out of my "Humbug."

[sighs] Uh, Dylan got here
a few minutes ago.

Oh, right. Dylan!

- Hey, you.
- Alexa.

- Hi.
- Nice to see you.

How are ya?

California looks good on you.

I saw on Insta that you're in a math frat.

Yeah. They made me do a really complicated
math problem to get in.

Oh, well, I hope it wasn't a negative!
[chuckles]

- Dork.
- Says the guy in a math frat.

Oh, I almost forgot.

- Got you a little something.
- Hmm.

Here, try it on so I can see.

Now I sound like my grandma.

[audience laughing]

- [giggles]
- Cute.

Thank you.

So, how is California?

It's crazy.
Everything's different out there.

The sun is different.
The... The trees are different

There are avocados and everything.

Alexa?

I'm sorry, Dylan. I gotta go.

Really?

Okay.

Katie said they had reduced-fat,

non-fat and low-fat.

It was just getting so complicated for me,
I just went with half-and-half.

[audience laughing]

Did you guys all get really weird
while I was gone?

Us? You're the one that's wearing beads.

[audience laughing]

Okay, so we both changed.

But maybe there is one thing that hasn't.

- Jelly time.
- Seriously?

Seriously.

If we can make Barry laugh,
we'll win a whole bunch of money.

Yes.

Hey, Barry?

[in unison] Jelly bump!

[grunts and laughs]

[Lucas] Nice! Look at that.

[laughs]

- Oh!
- Oh!

[audience laughing]

I have something for you.

- You already brought me a present.
- Just open it.

A pillow case?

It's silk.

I know that you're losing your hair.

When I lost mine...

it was so weird.

Regular pillowcases irritated my scalp
but the silk ones felt really nice.

Thank you.

It's not even about the hair.

It's just...

I still can't believe I have cancer.

I mean, first time in the hospital room,
and then I'm in a chemo chair.

That's not me.

And now this.

It's another thing that says
I really do have cancer.

I have an idea.

[exhales sharply]

I know.

This was hard for me, too.

But there's so many things
happening to you right now.

And this is one thing
that you can control.

Okay.

Go easy on me.

[hair trimmer sound]

Well, well, well.

If it isn't the cookie crook.

Huh! You take one sample
and you're just branded for life.

Okay, it wasn't a sample.

- It was a homemade "thank you" for...
- Okay, okay, okay.

I can see you're ramping up again,
so, uh, here.

This is a food drive after all, right?

- Well, thank you.
- Mm.

And...

- nice food triangle.
- No!

It's a Christmas tree! Ugh!

[audience laughing]

Waah! Oof!

[groans] Ugh.

[laughs]

All the cans! That's good!

Woo!

Merry Christmas to me!

[audience laughing]

I... I did it.

I made Barry laugh. [giggles]

I made Barry laugh.

Oh, I... I'll just be taking this!
Thank you very much! Woo!

Yeah! Hey! Hey, Barry?

Have fun without me tomorrow,

'cause I'm taking the day off.

Oh, my god, a ! Oh!

[audience laughing]

Okay.

All done.

How does it look?

[giggles] Good.

Really good.

[Spencer clears his throat]

[chuckling] Wow.

We should go show my mom.

Yeah, sure!

[humming "Deck the Halls"]

Oh! You're in a better mood.

Last time I saw you,
you had resting Barry face.

Well, my food drive was a huge success,

and I won the Barry bet.

- What? Way to go!
- [grunts]

Do I even wanna know
what makes Barry laugh?

[chuckles] No, you do not.

Uh, wait, hey, I was too busy
to see what happened with Dylan.

Was there maybe-maybe something there?

[sighs] I owe him an apology.

I was so excited to see him and then
something happened with Spencer.

Spencer? I'm... I'm confused.

Yeah. Me, too.

What happened?

Well, he was losing his hair,
so I helped him shave his head.

And then, all of a sudden,
it felt like we were gonna...

- kiss.
- Whoa!

- I think?
- Whaaa?

I don't know.

Okay, you know what? Let's unpack this
over some ice cream, yeah?

My treat.

How many toppings do I get?

As many as you want.

Oooh, well, I want all of them.

You got it! [hums]

[hums] Oh, oh, oh!

Oh!

Welcome home.

What are you guys doing? It's so late.

Well, we felt bad

decorating without you, so we waited.

Oh, you guys!

We did not wait on the eggnog.

[audience laughing]

Hey, come on, let's get decorating.

- Yeah.
- Yay!

[Lori] Oh, oh!

Look, a train track.

Must've survived the flood.

Oh! I forgot all about that train set.

[audience laughing]

No, not there, Lucas!

Now it feels like Christmas.

[audience laughing]

["Deck the Halls" playing]