02x17 - Gribbler's Quest

Episode transcripts for the TV show "The Looney Tunes Show". Aired: May 3, 2011 - November 2, 2013.*
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Bugs Bunny, Daffy Duck and the rest of the `Looney Tunes' characters are back with new adventures.
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02x17 - Gribbler's Quest

Post by bunniefuu »

- New shoes?
- I bought 'em online.

They're gonna make me run faster

jump higher, and dunk harder.

They look, they look nice.

They're gonna even look
nicer on your face

when I go up
for a rim-rattling jam.

Come on.
Feed the big man.

Um, I think your laces are...

Extra-long for extra support?

Hope you brought your umbrella

because it's about
to rain threes.

Aah! Uh!

Foul.

[theme music]

Bag-less, light weight, durable

five year warranty, free ship..
Free shipping?

'Hello, mommy.'

I think someone just
made her way to my cart.

Do I wanna proceed to checkout

or buy all my items
with a simple quick click?

Do you have to ask?
Quick click.

See you babies in three
to five business days.

(Bugs)
'Daffy!'

Yeah?

What is all this?

Stuff I bought on the Internet.

How did you pay for it?

You don't have to pay for it.

You just press quick click.

You used my computer.

The quick click is connected
to my bank account.

Oh, that's why it always says

"Thank you for your
purchase, Mr. Bunny."

It's all going back.

But I need all this stuff.

I think you have
a shopping problem.

I don't have a shopping problem.

Oh, really?

A battery operated
spaghetti fork.

It's the ultimate time saver.

Says it right there
on the package.

It's going back.

What are you doing?

You can't return
my toilet paper warmer.

You want me to use
cold toilet paper?

Oh, no, no, no, no, no.

You are not sending back
my vibrating head massager.

I haven't gotten one migraine
since I've got it.

It's unopened.

That proves how effective it is.

Video games?
What are you, nine years
old?

It's not just any video game.

It's the best video game.

"Gribblers' Quest Four.

"Elves versus fairies
versus gribblers."

You can play it as an elf
or as a fairy.

But you have to get to
level 15 to be a gribbler.

I don't want one more
package
delivered to this house.

Fine.

'I would've let you use
the toilet paper warmer.'

"Elves versus fairies
versus gribblers."

[clanking]

What the heck is
a "Gribbler" anyway?

Well, one quick game.

[instrumental music]

Bugs just said no packages
delivered to this house.

[evil laugh]

What do you think
you're doing with my mail?

Oh, it's mine.
See? It has my name.

But it has my address.

What's going on here?

Nothing, I'm just having
some stuff I buy online

sent to your house
so Bugs won't know about it.

Mm-hmm.

Seems to me
somebody has a problem.

I don't have a shopping problem.

Oh, I'm not talking
about shopping.

Your problem's not in here

it's in here.

What are you talking about?

You got a big ol' hole
where your heart is

and you're trying
to fill it with things.

I know that feeling.

You don't know
anything about me.

But you should probably know
that my middle name is Sheldon

in case you have to sign
for any more packages.

I'm expecting a portable
sauna any day now.

When you're ready to deal
with your real problem

you know where to find me.

[squealing]

zap

Oh, level two.

You better watch it, elves

because this fairy
just earned his wings.

[door creaking]

Huh, you think a moat
is gonna stop me

from entering the castle?

I'm flyin', fool.

[whooshing]

rata-tat rata-tat

Whoa, who knew elves had g*ns?

[door opens and closes]

[g*nf*re on video game]

What is that?

Oh, I think we might be at w*r.

You should probably
check the TV.

See if it's on the news.

Where's the volume
on this thing?

There's nothing on the news.

Huh.
Guess there's no w*r.

That's good.

Well, I think I'm gonna
go upstairs and play.

I mean, do some work.

Uh, work on that project
I've been working on.

I've got something
I need to do, too.

If the thing you were gonna do
was send another package

to Yosemite's house,
don't bother

I've changed my password.

Is it "Carrot?"

[keyboard clacking]

It's not "Carrot" anymore.

Is it "Carrot1?"

[keyboard clacking]

Stay off my computer.

[groaning]

Oh!

[squeaks]

Oh! Phew.

Uh! Oof! Ow!

Oh!

[TV powers on]

Oh!

Carrot2?

My lord, he's predictable.

- What are you doing?
- Ohh!

Please.
It's almost midnight.

I'm gonna miss
the deal of the day.

It's a tent that sleeps
eight
people... comfortably.

You don't even know
eight people.

I'll meet some on
the camping trip.

- No.
- I need it.

- Give me that.
- Let me just...

It's just a quick click.

You know what?

'Oh!
No, no, no, no. no!'

[buzzer]

My tent!

My beautiful eight-person
tent is gone.

Why? Why?

Oh!

Huh! The new deal
of the day is up.

Oh, a professional,
in-home waxing kit.

Ah!

Grr!

Ha! Uh!

Give me.

Ow!

[music on TV]

Ugh..

- You got my package?
- Hmm.

It's the first three seasons
of "Ally McBeal"

before Robert Downey Jr.
ruined it.

I'll give you your package,
on one condition.

You come somewhere with me.

(Pepé)
'I know in the past
we've talked a lot about'

'my fear of commitment.'

Uh, I don't know
if this qualifies

as a breakthrough or not,
uh, but this week

'I've decided to try
online dating.'

What is this?

- It's group therapy.
- What?

- I don't need group therapy.
- Shh!

Sam, do you have anything
you'd like to share?

I had a, uh, I had
a setback this week.

I sh*t my dry cleaner.

- Huh?
- It was just a water p*stol.

But I, I just kept a-sh**t'.

I couldn't stop.
I just felt so angry.

Why were you angry?

He didn't get the stain
out of my kerchief.

Do you think your anger
might have been misdirected?

Oh, wow.
I hadn't thought of that.

Why, I wasn't mad at him at all.

Who do you think you're
actually angry with?

It was those kids.

I'm mad at all those kids

who used to tease me
on the playground.

It's not my fault I had
a mustache in third grade.

I just wanted to be
like everybody else.

No one gave me a chance.

[sobbing]

- Oh, boy.
- And what about you?

(Yosemite)
'Oh! Oh!'

Oh, me? Oh, I'm good.

I mean, I've been doin' a lot
of online shopping lately

but I don't have a problem.

At least, not compared
to these guys

who are obviously all crazy.

So, I'm just gonna
go ahead and go.

Where you going?

Do some online shopping?

I know what you're trying to do.

You want me
to break down and cry

and say that the reason
I keep buying stuff

is because I'm trying
to fill an emotional void

that all this confidence
is a facade

it's all fake, that deep down

I'm just an insecure, scared,
needy little duck

in desperate need of a hug.

Come here.

[sobbing]

I'm just so vulnerable.

Anyone else want some?

That goblin wanted some
and he got some.

[female screaming on video game]

Oh, no!

Next.

You go ahead, I just got hit
by Beetle Lightning.

I can have these ready
for you in an hour.

Is this a good time for you?

Uh, no.
Not really.

Because I'm trying
to take into account

other people's needs,
not just my own.

So, if it's not a good time
for you, just tell me.

It's not a good time.

(Daffy)
'Okay, good.'

[clearing throat]

I've joined a therapy group.

You probably don't know
this about me.

But I have some fairly
significant emotional issues.

Now, I know I've done a good
job covering them up

but I'm going to
finally confront them

in the hopes of becoming
a better person.

Daffy, can we talk
about this another...

The kind of person who listens

who takes into consideration
what other people want

what other people need.

Daffy, I need to
get back to work.

Gina, darling, you're gonna
notice a lot of changes in me.

I seem to cry very easily.

How do you feel about all this?

Fine. Great.

You're a very strong,
brave woman.

That's what I hope to become.

I'm so glad this was
a good time for you to talk.

Well, guess what, elves

I just acquired
theShroud ofGuanjaro

so your fire can't hurt me

and I will find the key

and I will enter
thePit of Romulese.

Wow!

Wow. I had such an amazing
experience today in group.

It's like when one door opens
behind it is another door

you didn't even know existed.

And sometimes,
that door is locked.

But now, I have
a tool to open it.

- The key.
- Yes, exactly.

The key. That is the tool
you use to open a door.

Granted, I had my share of...

- Demons.
- Yes, exactly. Demons.

But I was able to
get past one today

regarding my relationship
with Porky.

Ha!
I had such a breakthrough.

- I'm gonna call him.
- No!

- I shouldn't call him?
- Go.

You're right,
I should do it in person.

- Go! Go!
- Okay, I'm going.

- Jump!
- Huh?

- Jump! Jump!
- I'm coming, Porky!

Stay out of the lava.

(Daffy)
'I'll stay out of the lava!'

[theme music]

[playing piano]

♪ I love to sing-a ♪

♪ About the moon-a and the
June-a and the spring-a ♪

♪ I love to sing-a ♪

♪ About a sky of blue
or a tea for two ♪

♪ Anything-a with a swing-a
to an I love you-a ♪

♪ Oh I love-a to
I love to sing ♪

♪ I love to sing-a ♪

♪ I like to sing-a
never stop-a for my mama ♪

♪ 'Cause I'm her boy-a ♪

♪ With a cheer for Mr. Bunny
and another for the ducky ♪

♪ Just a little song-a
makes a black cat lucky ♪

♪ Oh I love-a to
I love to sing ♪

♪ I was born a singin' monster
la-dee-da ♪

♪ Oh nothing's gonna stop me
I'll sing-a my way ♪


♪ Through grade school
la-dee-da ♪

♪ The microphone's got me ♪

♪ I love to sing-a ♪

♪ 'Cause when I wake up
with a song-a in my mouth-a ♪

♪ Or like this friend-a ♪

♪ With a cheer for dear Granny
and you Yosemite Sammy ♪

♪ I love to sing ♪

[instrumental music]

♪ I love to sing-a ♪

♪ About the moon-a and the
June-a and the spring-a ♪

♪ I love to sing-a ♪

♪ About a sky of blue
or a tea for two ♪

♪ Anything-a with a swing-a
to an I love you-a ♪

♪ Oh I love to sing ♪

♪ I love to sing ♪♪

Are you sure
this is a good time for you?

Uh, but like I said,
if you could just wait

till I'm out of the tub?

Okay, good.

Porky, I've had a breakthrough.

I feel like there've been
times in our relationship

where I may have been
unkind to you

where I've maybe treated you
poorly or, or made fun of
you.

But what I realized
in group today

was that all the mean things
I ever said to you

the times that I mistreated you

that, that was really about me.

And it was me that I disliked.

You were and are
a wonderful person.

And now, I wanna
ask you something

that I've never thought to ask

but I really wanna
know the answer.

The deep down, inside answer.

And really listen.

How are you, Porky?

Uh, I-I'm uncomfortable.

I get that.
It's okay. Be that.

You can just be that, right now.

Here, with me.
Be uncomfortable.

I won't judge you.

I, uh, think I'd like
to get out of the tub.

Oh, of course.

Now how do you feel?

I'm still pretty uncomfortable.

You know what we do in group
when someone feels that way?

We hug.
We simply hug one another.

Now how do you feel?

U-uh, still uncomfortable.

Then, let's just stay right here

and keep hugging.

[instrumental music]

Hope you guys are hungry

because we are celebrating
this morning.

Uh, w-what are we celebrating?

Friendship.

Love.

And that the world's
a better place

with the both of you in it.

I gotta say,
I'm proud of you, Daffy.

You've come a long way.

Uh, yeah.
I really like the new Daffy.

[chuckles]

I think you like the new
Daffy's pancakes.

[laughing]

Hey, there. You hungry?

I don't need food.
I need a dragon's tooth.

You look terrible.
Are you okay?

No. No, I'm not okay.
I haven't slept in three days.

I'm out of recovery potion.
I'm down to my last magic arrow.

And I'm stuck on level 14.
I'll never be a gribbler.

What's with him?

I think Bugs has a problem

and he needs our help.

Well, what can w-we do?

Just be here.

Through group, I've learned that

one-on-one interventions
can feel confrontational

and tend to escalate
whereas group interventions

are more supportive.

[knocking on door]

Bugs? Can I talk to you?

(Bugs)
'Go away. I'm busy.'

He's barricaded himself
in there. Get back.

I'm gonna bust the door down.

[grunting]

It wasn't even locked.

[video game beeping]

Yes! I won!

I'm a gribbler! Finally!

Here.
Take it.

I don't ever wanna
see that thing again.

I wish it were that simple.

Your problem's not in here.
It's in here.

- What?
- Bugs, it's okay.

- You hate yourself.
- I don't hate myself.

You're mad at the world
because when you were a kid

everyone picked on you.

No one picked on me.
I was very popular.

You couldn't stop playing
that video game

because you have
deep-seeded issues.

I don't have deep-seeded issues.

I just couldn't stop
playing the game

because I liked
playing the game.

I'm starving.

Huh.

Well, then maybe I couldn't
stop online shopping

because I just like
online shopping.

That would mean
that I don't have any

deep-seeded issues, either.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

I don't have any problems.

Uh, I think
you do have problems.

I don't need group therapy.

I'd stick with
the group therapy.

There was never
anything wrong with me.

- A-Actually...
- I was perfect.

- I wouldn't say that.
- I am perfect.

- I'm against...
- I am a perfect person!

'Get ready, world!
Here I come!'

[both sigh]

[theme music]

♪ He's marching on the freeway
so get out of his way ♪

♪ 'Cause he's rolling in a
monster made of papier mache ♪

♪ Why stay in one lane
when he can take them all ♪

♪ He drives a diesel-burning
dump truck that's 18 feet tall ♪

♪ Parade float
the A.C. blows hot ♪

♪ Parade float
the transmission is sh*t ♪

♪ Parade float
it's so fun to drive ♪

♪ Parade float
it won't go over 25 ♪

♪ Awhoo ♪

♪ Parade float ♪

♪ Did somebody order
a bass solo? ♪

♪ Wait wait closer ♪

♪ Almost there it is ♪

♪ Oh ho there it is ♪

♪ It's too slow to pull over
and it's too big to steal ♪

♪ You'll never tip it over ♪

♪ It's got two feet
and four wheels ♪

♪ It gets one mile to the gallon
and it tends to catch on fire ♪

♪ And the only way to start it
is with a pair of pliers ♪

♪ You know
environmentalists say ♪

♪ Your car is
too big but I say ♪

♪ Your planet's too small ♪

♪ He still celebrates
and decorates ♪

♪ His super grade.. ♪

♪ Parade float
it hits curbs a bunch ♪

♪ Parade float
it eats hybrids for lunch ♪

♪ Parade float
just don't try to pass ♪

♪ Parade float
or he'll flatten your car ♪

♪ Awhoo ♪

♪ Parade float ♪♪

Suckers.

Carrot3?

'You couldn't think of anything
better than "Carrot3?"'

[sighs]

'I just got us
an underwater dart set!'

[theme music]

[music continues]

Who wants a hug?
Come on.

You know you need one.
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