03x06 - One Ball, Two Strikes

Episode transcripts for the TV show "Felicity". Aired: September 29, 1998 –; May 22, 2002.*
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Follows Felicity to NYC after high school as she navigates life and discovers who she really is.
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03x06 - One Ball, Two Strikes

Post by bunniefuu »

Previously on Felicity:

I have a sore nut.

Huh? It might be...

infected, and so
I'm taking antibiotics.

That's it?

Ben, I'm so sorry.

I should have told you...

You should've, but you didn't.

All I know is I slept in his room. I
don't remember what happened.

I wanted to find out before I told
you... You wanna know what happened?!

You slept with him.
You had sex with him.

You take care. You too.

So, I think my
humanities professor

has a little crunch on me.

Every time she says
the words "oral exam,"

she looks me in
the eyes like this.

Hmm. Yeah.

Thanks. Hey, can I ask
you a personal question?

Of course, it's me. Yeah, um...

Say you had a friend that
you found out was... gay.

Is this about Benjamin?

What? Uh, no.

Oh. For a second
there I got excited.

No. I'm not gonna mention his
name, all right? Ahh. It's Richard.

Will you let me ask
you this question?

Don't tell me if
it's not Richard.

If you found out someone
you knew was gay,

who was pretending
that he wasn't,

would you tell him you knew?

Don't say a thing to Richard.

I never said that
it was Richard.

When he is ready to come
out of that walk-in closet of his,

he will, on his own
recognizance, reeking of cedar.

I'm afraid this person thinks

his friends won't
accept him if he told us.

OK, this is what you do:

You say to him,
"Richard..." Javier, I...

OK. Say, "I am your
friend, OK? No matter what."

He'll be very
happy to hear that.

Whoever this person is.

You're such a sweetheart
for caring so much.

Yeah, I mean, he
would know, right?

Right. So I wasn't
gonna say anything.

Yeah. Yeah.

But then Richard showed up
and he started doing it again.

Doing what again?

Convincing me
that he's straight.

I gotta tell you about this
girl I know. She's so hot.

Who? I met her years ago.

She just moved to New
York. She's truly, the hottest.

Good. No, it's t*rture.

Cause, um, I'm thinking
of taking it to the next level.

You know? Making my
move. Upping the stakes.

Mm-hmm.

The ante, you know? Mm-hmm.

This girl, she's got
brains, a sense of humor,

unbelievable boombas.

Richard...

I'm your friend,
OK? No matter what.

And this is a sandwich,
OK? No matter what.

What the hell's gotten
into you? Nothing.

B.S. nothing. You've been
acting really weird to me lately.

All egg shells, awkward.

Gonna tell me
what the problem is?

I don't wanna talk
about it. Talk about what?

See, there is something.
Just tell me man.

Don't puss around so
much. Speak your mind.

I know that you're gay.

OK? And I just want you
to know that I'm OK with it.

It doesn't bother me. I'm your friend
no matter what your preference...

You think I'm gay?

I was fixing this guy's
computer, Jason,

and I saw the picture of
you guys with your shirts off

and your arms
around each other...

Is that what you think?
I've got some sexual secret?

That I'm hiding something?
That I'm ashamed of something?

I don't think you're ashamed...
You can just go to hell!

I told you.

♪ Can you become

♪ Can you become

♪ A new version of you

♪ New wallpaper

♪ New shoe leather

♪ A new way home

♪ You don't remember

♪ New version of you

♪ I need a new

♪ Version of me

♪ New version of you

♪ I need a new

Version of me ♪

What time is your appointment?

3:15.

But I'm meeting Felicity
in about 20 minutes.

You nervous?

Nah. I like Felicity.

Sean, you can
tell me if you are.

I'm not nervous.

Hey, look at me. Do you
want me to go with you?

Definitely not, this is
just a pre-surgery thing.

It's nothing. Even
the surgery's nothing,

It's exploratory,
it's out-patient.

How serious can out-patient be?

Hey?

Wanna do a five minute
interview real quick?

No thanks, man.

He's been like
that for a week now.

Well, what do you expect?

How would you feel if you saw
a picture of me on the internet,

naked and drunk?

You wouldn't be
surprised. Not really.

You'd kinda like it.

Yeah.

Have a good appointment.

I will.

It's for the senior exhibit.

It's an art show, and, um...

it'll actually be on
sale, which is terrifying.

You're kidding? How
much you gonna ask?

Um, I don't... I don't know.

What is it, exactly?
What's it gonna be?

I don't know yet.

You OK? Seem
a little distracted.

Uh, no, I'm fine.

You wanna talk about the whole
Ben thing? Wanna get into that?

No, you said this interview
was gonna be about the exhibit.

I know, but I need some
details. Are you guys breaking up?

Gimme something, or else
this week's really gonna suck.

So far, I've got nothing.

Um...

Well, yeah, I mean, I did
something really stupid.

And Ben is justifiably
upset about it.

So...

he asked for his space and
I'm trying to give it to him.

There you go. Where's my muffin?

Your muffin...
there's your muffin.

Javier, can you tell Felicity we
need some more Soho blend? Nope.

I've got a huge line here
and Kenny's out sick, please.

You cannot use me,
Benjamin. I'm not using you

You cannot use me as a means of
un-communicating with your girlfriend.

She's in the back. But
you know where she is.

Me, I'm going to
take my break now.

Um, we need some
more Soho blend. OK.

Want some help?

Yeah, that'd be great.

Do you, maybe, wanna
get something to eat tonight?

Uh, no, I'm gonna go
play basketball with Sean.

He said he wasn't feeling that
well. He told me he wanted to play.

How many times am I
going to have to apologize?

I'm not asking you to.

You're not talking to me.

You woke up in some guy's bed.

Nothing happened!
You don't know that.

At the time, I'm
working at this bakery.

Kinda like Dean and Deluca,

but really small
and old and in Spain.

And I make-up this cake.

The cake says,
"Your son is gay."

I'm going to present it to my
parents that night after dinner.

That way, if they kick
me out of the house,

at least there's cake to eat.

Javier, why are
you telling me this?

Listen.

So, that night
I'm really nervous,

all throughout dinner.

Finally it's time for dessert.

I go to the kitchen,
get the box,

I open it up with
grand flourish,

and the cake says "Happy
83rd birthday, Maria".

Why are you telling
me a gay story?

OK. Anyway, P.S.

Maria Mendoza, that
night had a stroke,

God bless her soul.

I tell my parents
flat out that I'm gay

and they're, like, "Uh... duh."

But in Spanish, it has
a different meaning.

And they're, like, "Jota, we
love you exactly the way you are."

Noel talked to you, didn't he?

Everyone loves you.

You know what? Excuse me.

Don't be angry at Noel.
Richard, come here.

Hey!

I'm filming a movie. Relax.

Sean! Keep
kissing, I'm not here.

Dude, you are here.
You're everywhere. Please.

Let her kiss me
goodbye in peace.

Wait, wait, wait.

"Goodbye"? What're
you talking about?

My church is organizing this
thing for Habitat for Humanity.

All right? We're building
a house in Yonkers.

Oh, that's so great.

Wanna hear great? This is great:

I got a Sociology
paper due on Monday.

My girl, here...

offers to do an all-nighter
with my class project.

That's great. They're gonna
put all the work into the computer.

It's no big deal, he'd
do the same for me.

I so would do the same for her.

You wouldn't. You guys
are so in love, aren't you?

It freaked me out.

In love?

Am I in love?

Are you in love?

Half of me is in love.

What about the other half?

The other half is in trouble.

How so?

Finn.

Ah, the guy next door.

Yeah... The pre-law guy.

I keep seeing him everywhere,

in the park, on
the way to class...

So what you're saying is
this "waiting till marriage" thing

is getting really frustrating.

It's not about sex.

Even if I was
sleeping with Tracy,

I'd still be having
this problem.

I'll get it.

It's Finn, babe. Hey.

I was curious what
your plans were tonight.

Uh, Finn,

please don't take this
the wrong way, but...

we can't hang out.

I admit I was
attracted to you at first,

and I might've led
you on and I'm sorry,

but I'm dating someone.

Tracy. Yes.

I'm his Sociology partner.

So we're gonna be
working together tonight.

And I was curious what
time you'd like to get started.

Hi.

Uh oh.

I have a favor to ask. What?

I already told my brothers
we didn't do anything.

It's not about them. Thank
you for that, but, um...

Uh... Can I sit?

Yeah.

Sure.

Ben, my boyfriend,
saw that email,

that picture and he
thinks that you and I...

Oh.

Right, so...

Nothing I say or
do can convince him

that what really happened
happened, and I just...

I saw you and I thought
maybe if he heard it from you,

if he could see that
you're actually a person...

a nice person... You
want me to talk to him?

I'm probably the last guy on
earth that guy wants to talk to.

I know. I just...

I love him and I don't
know what else to do.

You talked to Javier?

You told him I'm gay?

There's a shock.

I'm not gay, for one.

Then how do you
explain the picture?

We work together in Florida.
That's how I know Jason.

Maybe Jason had feelings for me,

but I did not return the
sentiment, not in any way.

I know I'm not supposed to
be part of this conversation,

but from my point of view
he seems very defensive.

Meghan, could you excuse us?

You know what? She can stay.

You wanna know the truth?

I'm not gay.

I'm a virgin.

That's it. That's my big secret.

Never been with a girl.

Never even kissed a girl.

Never? I mean...

You know, not like in
sixth grade or eighth grade?

No. Never. Not in sixth
grade. Not in eighth grade.

Never.

I've always been afraid to tell
anybody because, you know,

out of fear that
people would laugh.

Meghan!

That's it, I'm outta here.

He's just... I'm so...

I just wish I felt compelled
to apologize. I don't.

Hey, doc.

Hello, Sean.

I'm doing the documentary for
the Independent Film Channel

where I chronicle everything.

So, if you don't mind, I'm gonna
get this appointment on video

so I have it on
record. I don't think so.

Why's that?

Your blood work came
back. Your HCG is high.

Yeah.

That's human
chorionic gonadotropin.

It's a marker that we use.
So is AFP, alpha-fetoprotein.

Right.

That number was also high.

We won't know for sure till we
get the pathology report back,

but if I had to guess,

I would say you have a
non-seminomatous germ-cell tumor.

So I have to ask you to spend the
night at the hospital... No, no, no...

This was an outpatient
thing. You said that yourself.

Based on these numbers, we're going
to have to remove the afflicted testicle...

and take some pelvic
lymph nodes for staining.

I'm also gonna, uh,

take a CAT scan before the
surgery, but that's common.

It'll take three to five days
to get the final report back.

Uh...

This was supposed to
be an outpatient thing.

How does this sound?

"Dear Richard, I'm so
sorry I forced you to admit...

that you'd never had sex
with a man or a woman."

You can't send that. This is the
weirdest e-mail I've ever written.

Hey.

Hey. So?

So, uh, you're not
gonna believe this, but...

it was a misdiagnosis.

What? What?

The doctor looked
at my blood test,

and then he redid the ultrasound,
and it said I'm totally fine.

That is the best news.

I know. God. When I
didn't hear from you, I was...

Can you turn around? Yeah.

When I didn't hear
from you, I was...

Worried? Worried, yes.

Sean, you wanted me to tell
you when I got a computer call?

Oh, right. Right now? Yeah.

Great. Can I come? Mm-hmm.

I'm gonna go videotape this.

But we'll have dinner tonight?
Yeah, OK. Yeah, whatever.

Yeah? Yeah.

What are these usually
like? You never know.

Recently there's
been a glut of guys

with really bad acne and corrupt hard
drives due to nonstop Napster downloads.

Napster downloads?
Yeah, 'cause it's... Yeah.

Hi. Hi.

Whoa. Are you the computer guy?

Apparently Noel has
had a system error.

What is this? This? Well, this
can go away really quickly...

No. This is a documentary I'm
doing, and if it's cool with you...

What's it about?
Uh, it's nothing...

Actually, it's turning out like
Computer Geeks is what I'm calling it.

Really? Well, not on me. Uh...

- I love documentaries.
- Is that right?

It boots up fine, right?

Like when I go
to print, like this,

the whole thing just
freezes up on me. Right.

Maybe you just didn't
choose the right printer.

My integrated polynomials
report is on there.

So, whatever you can
do, just... Thank you. Yeah.

Lisa, can we get
some pizza tonight?

Why you trippin'? We'll just
workout twice as hard tomorrow.

She smells so good.

You're married.

Don't you have somewhere to be?

Aren't you supposed to
meet Felicity? Yeah, damn it.

Hey. Uh, thanks a lot.

I'll see you later, OK?

Yeah. I'll be at Natalie's. OK.

Sean, come on.

Professor Morton.

Hey, down to the wire. Yeah.

Hello.

He's, uh, making a documentary.

This is you.

Come on. Let's see it.

OK. Just know if this is wrong
in any way, you can just tell me.

Did you see the piece
out front, "Blood Wedding"?

No. There is no way
anything could be wrong.

OK. Let's see it.

Wow.

I don't know why
I'm so nervous, but...

It's people seeing
your work, judging it.

First time's always scary. Yeah.

It's not about selling. Not
every piece sells. Right.

It's about...
putting it up there.

Mm-hmm. I'll see
you tomorrow night.

All right. Terrific work.

Thank you. Bye.

Palms are all sweaty.

Hey, sweetheart. Hey.

By the way, I guess Sean got back
some good news from the doctor's

'cause Meghan is throwing
him a dinner tonight.

Can you come? Yeah.

It's gonna be at the loft, and
I think Ben might be there.

Right. Um...

Yes, of course I'll come. Yeah?

Yeah. OK, cool.

I'll see you there. Yeah. Bye.

♪ Took my time the other day

Ben, right?

You got a minute?

Um... for what?

To talk.

No, I don't think I do. OK?

Just 30 seconds then? Please?

Listen, man. I just want
you to understand something.

The other night, nothing happened
between me and your girlfriend.

It was just a party. People
had a little too much to drink.

So she just ended up
sleeping in your bed?

That's right, but
nothing happened.

Let me ask you something.
Why are you here?

Tonight, you've been
drinking. Did you kiss her?

Do you hear what I'm
saying? Nothing happened.

I think you're full of crap.
You wanna talk to me?

Oh, whoa, whoa!

Stop! Come on! Stop!

Hi.

Am I allowed inside?

Yeah. Sorry.

Oh, God help you.

I just wanna say,
OK, how relieved I am

that, you know, it's
nothing serious 'cause...

My uncle Jedlow, he had a
really bad, um, nut experience,

and I was just
nervous for you, so...

Oh. Well, thanks. What
happened to your uncle?

He had a really bad
pain in his nether regions,

and a few months later
he was dead. Oh, my God.

Does no one lock
their door anymore?

Hey. Hey.

Hey, Sean, good news
about your nut. Thanks.

Noel? Can I talk to
you for a second?

Sure.

Hmm? Um...

Yeah. So, uh... So,
uh, I got your e-mail.

Yeah? Which was
horribly written.

I'm sorry. It wasn't easy to
write... Don't worry about it.

Look, uh... I'm not gonna drag this
on and be a drama queen about it.

I'm gonna be the
big guy. The big guy?

Because you know
what? Obviously,

being a virgin is nothing to be
ashamed of. You're right, damn right.

Even though I want you to
keep it top secret. Oh. Fine, right.

If you tell anybody,
I'll k*ll you. No problem.

Oh, hey, you know, Molly's here.

Uh, you still into her? Nah.

I'm over the Brit, but
that doesn't mean I'm gay.

No, I understand.
I understand. OK.

I have a real dilemma.

Yeah? What's that?

Well, uh...

Yeah, I like Tracy.

Tracy's a great guy, you know.

We're... We're friends.

But I like you, too.

I've liked you
since we first met.

Tracy is a good guy,

and I'm not an option.

Hey, Sean, I heard the news.

Thank your ass it
wasn't serious, man.

My cousin Aaron had
a problem down there.

Turns out it wasn't
just an infection.

Long story short, he
lost both his gumballs.

Aah.

Family tragedy.

I'm gonna go get some air.

Are you OK? Yeah.

Could you shut up about that?

Um, uh, Blumberg Productions.

Is Felicity there?
Yeah, what's up?

Just put her on the
phone, please. Yes, ma'am.

Elena.

Hello? I cannot think straight.

What's wrong?

Finn is here, and
we're in my room.

And we're on the
floor doing all this work,

and he keeps looking
at me with those eyes.

J-Just relax. OK, wait...

I met the perfect girl.

Yeah, her computer's
broke. I'm gonna fix it.

And other great stories. Yeah.

Hey, uh, I apologize

for, uh, last week.

I've been under a lot of stress.

Oh, no. Please.

I totally understand why you were
so nervous. What does that mean?

Well, no... I'm just
saying that it's fine.

I was a virgin once myself.

Noel! It wasn't me.

Meghan! Richard!

Damn it.

Just a sec.

Hey. Hey.

You know what? I'm gonna
put you on with Meghan.

It's... It's Elena.

Hello? I am so
attracted to Finn.

Who cares? Just sleep with
him. Jeez, you're in college.

I called for support, for some
strength, not for license to cheat.

Wait. Hold on.

Hello?

Is Sean Blumberg there,
please? This is Dr. Leonard.

Oh. Um...

He's... I can take
a message for him.

Will you tell him he
needs to call me back?

We need to
reschedule his surgery.

Ben, you can't keep
treating me like this.

That's funny, you
saying that to me.

Listen. I talked to Randy, and I just
wanted him... I know what you wanted.

Did he call you? No, he
saw me at Epstein Bar.

And did he tell you that
nothing, absolutely nothing...

Yes, he did, OK?

Yeah, He started to give me the
whole speech. All right? What happened?

Nothing. Did you
get in a fight with him?

Did you hurt... Oh, my God!

Don't defend him! Don't
start defending him to me!

All right?

Hey. Hey.

I just... I needed a
breather, you know.

Dr. Leonard needs to
reschedule your surgery?

He just called.


He doesn't know what he's
talking about. He's a doctor.

I want to get another opinion.
You got another opinion.

They both said you can't afford to
screw around. I'm not having that surgery.

I'm not having it. OK?

It's amputation,
what he wants to do.

I'm way too healthy, way too
young for that. I'm not doing it.

You're not OK. You're sick.

Look at me for a
second. Look at me.

I don't wanna tell
you some story

about how...

someone I once loved
could've gotten help and didn't.

I will tell you that I don't
wanna have a story like that.

What are you... Are you saying
you love me? What're you saying?

Sean, you're so good
at fooling yourself...

That things are gonna
come true for you

and that your inventions
are gonna make you rich

and, and that your movie
is gonna be a success.

But you can't do that now.

You have to deal with this.
You have to call that doctor.

Listen. If you don't
wanna do it for yourself,

if you can't think of a
good reason, then...

then do it as a favor to me, OK?

I'm, uh, turning the camera
on myself for the first time here,

uh, because tomorrow
morning I, Sean Blumberg,

am, uh, gonna...

enter Lennox Hill
Hospital to have surgery,

which I'm sure will
go absolutely fine.

My doctor thinks that I
have, or might have, cancer.

Um, actually, he's
pretty sure of it.

I currently have two testicles.
Tomorrow I'll have one, which is...

You know, that's 50 percent of the
amount of testicles that I currently have.

And they're taking lymph nodes,
too, to see if the cancer spread,

which, you know,

can't really, obviously,
be the best sign,

because, uh...

I don't know, maybe they you
know, have reason to believe...

that the cancer
already has spread.

Um...

I mean, doctors don't tell
you everything, right? So...

I could really...
I could be in...

some, uh, pretty
serious trouble here.

This could actually be one of the
last Thursday nights that I ever see.

This could be it.

Um, I wasn't just
staring at you.

That's OK.

I was just about to
wake you up. Well, I'm up.

So you said we
finished last night.

No, we didn't. Oh.

But you said we
recorded all the numbers.

That's not what I meant.

So, he didn't stay
at the hospital?

Uh, no, no. I'll just...
I'll call back later.

Thanks.

Finn just left.

He kissed me. What?

Yeah, and I did
this horrible thing.

I kissed him back.

It was a real kiss.

It wasn't just this
passing thing.

What's wrong?

Ben b*at up Randy
last night. What?

Yeah. I just called the frat and
talked to Randy's roommate.

It's pretty serious. They
thought he had a concussion.

Hey.

Hey.

Come here. Come here.

I don't wanna do another interview
right now. That's not what this is.

This is important. Come here.

What's up?

Sit down.

Uh, this is a pen.

Uh, it was my grandfather's pen.

He gave this to
me when I was six.

This is probably one of the
most important things that I own,

and, um...

I want you to have it.

Why?

Because if I die on the table...

You're not gonna
die. Let me finish.

If I die tomorrow, in a
month, whatever, I just...

I would like to know
you have my pen.

I can't take your pen. Please.

I can't. OK, if I live,
give it back to me.

All right? But if I die...

Which, uh, might
very well happen...

This is how you
refill it, like that.

OK.

Thank you.

Thanks.

You're going tonight, right?
'Cause Meghan's making me go.

No, I'm not going.

What? Hey, I'm having
surgery in the morning.

I'm going and you're not? To
Felicity's art show? No, I'm not gonna go.

Hey, wait a minute.

Listen to me. I have cancer.

You don't have
cancer. Yeah, I do. I do.

And, uh, you don't have
to have cancer very long...

to see the whole
world differently,

and to see your
friends differently.

What, you see me differently?

Yeah, I do. What do you see?

I see a guy who's
out of control, Ben,

and I see a guy who is not very
good at handling a bad situation.

You're talking about that guy?
That guy deserved to be hit.

He did.

Changed my mind about
the pen. I didn't want the pen.

You got a problem, Ben, OK?

You've got this anger that
has nothing to do with Felicity,

and you're taking it out on her.

If you're willing to let...

one drunken night
break up the two of you,

then maybe you don't deserve
her anyway. Sean, you don't...

Ben? We're the
same guy right now.

OK? We're both in trouble.

I want to hide.

Just like you, I
wanna hide, too,

but I am not gonna push away
the people that are closest to me.

Hey.

It's a really good pen.

I, uh, have reason to believe
that I can fix your computer.

You are saving my
life. Get in here. All right.

So, what year are you?

I'm a junior. I transferred
from Florida State.

Oh, yeah? Uh-huh.

I'm a senior.

Graduating this year,
so this is it for me.

I'm graduating this year.

What are you studying?

I'm a dance major.

It's really nice of you to come
back and help me out like this.

Yeah. It was nothing.
It was just, uh...

Of course.

Wait, if you're a dance major,

why are you taking
integrated polynomials?

Just an elective.

You took integrated
polynomials as an elective?

Are you crazy? Yes.

And I'll never do it again.

I don't blame you.

Aw! What was that?

Ha-ha! Nothing.

It's just the, uh...
there was a...

You all right?

This is like a bigger deal
than you said it was gonna be.

I can't believe how
many people showed up.

What are the red dots for?
Those are the ones that sold.

Yours doesn't have
one. Thanks, Richard.

Who cares? People are
stupid. No one has good taste.

It'll sell. Don't
worry about it.

Trust me, it'll make
you feel better,

get your mind off the surgery.

Thanks for bringing it
up. I'd forgotten about it.

I'm gonna throw up now.

Hey!

How you doin'? What's up, guys?

Hey, man. Hi.

Thank you very much. I
can't thank you enough.

It was nothing, really.

Excuse me. Can I talk
to you for a second?

You OK? No. Follow me?

He has surgery tomorrow.

Will somebody get
a drink with me? Yes.

Oh, yeah.

Don't let what
Richard said worry you.

About your painting? There are
so many others without red dots.

I don't care about that.

I just wish Ben and I
weren't in such a weird place.

Especially tonight. You know?

Yeah.

Yeah, I know. Thanks.

Felicity.

I want you to meet
some friends of mine.

Professor Piskin. Hi.

Pleasure. Nice to meet you.

And Dr. Morris.

Hi. Having a good time?

It's exciting, but
nerve-racking.

It's her first art show.

Is that right?

She'll get used to it.

Lots of students are
nervous on their first show.

I've seen your piece, and you
have nothing to be nervous about.

It's absolutely wonderful.

You believe in God,
right? You know I do.

And he can perform
miracles. He's been known to.

Good, 'cause that's what I need.

I'm a Jew, and
I'm not practicing,

so I'm sort of a bad Jew.

But I was just wondering,
how do I talk to God?

Where do I find him?

Is it just, you know, prayer?

It's about grace.

It's about his mercy.

It's about your faith.

There's a reason this
is happening to you.

It's like the
alarm's going off...

and you can't hit
the snooze button.

You know? You'll ask
him what you need to and,

he'll do what he does and,

if you make it through this...

And you know I have faith that
you are gonna make it through this...

Maybe you'll realize that
you don't have to find God...

'cause God's already found you.

So you made it. Yeah.

If I could sit up I'd kiss you.

OK, so we wouldn't
be giving these to you...

if the surgery
hadn't gone so well.

Replacement nuts. Ha-ha.

You get it? You get it? Peanuts.

When I'm all healed
up, I'm gonna k*ll you.

It was Noel's idea. No.

Ow, ow.

You know what's really
amazing about hospitals?

Is, like, it really makes you
think of the really scary crap.

You know? Like, some
things are terrifying.

You think they're terrifying,
like getting a bad grade...

or not getting a job,
being rejected by someone.

But life and death
is... life and death.

Is it true you've
never kissed a girl?

Oh, you know what?

Meghan has gotta
learn to zip it, OK?

Well, now she's wrong.

Don't get any ideas,
OK? We're just friends.

But I'm sure that one day you
are gonna make some girl...

just mad with happiness.

I can't move anymore.

Ha-ha. Come on.

Hey.

I just wanted to
say, about that kiss?

It can never happen again.
Because I have a boyfriend.

I understand.

There's one thing I'm not
doing when Sean comes home.

Taking him to the
bathroom, That is your gig.

No, I'm not doing it.

Then we're gonna
have to hire someone...

because I gotta draw the line
somewhere, and that's where.

Bye. Bye.

I just wanted things to go
back to the way they were.

Me too.

Can't you just believe me?

Felt like me... just
running into walls.

Acting like an idiot.

I don't know if you were thinking
about me when you did it, but...

Anyway, I love it.

You bought my picture.

You're the one
person that I can trust.

And I need that.

Let's set up your
email account, OK?

So just, um, enter your
address and your password.

OK.

I don't know my password
yet. It's still in my registration.

OK. Sorry.

Hello? I'll look that way.

OK. Yeah?

Excuse me.

Hello?

Are we still on for tonight?

You are not getting rid of
me, I don't care what you say.

So where we going?

I'm hungry too.

You know I hate Chinese
food. Where are we going?

All right, that's cool.
What ya wearin'?

Don't wear that.

Don't wear that. Hmm-mmm.

All right, I'll see
you then, OK? Bye.

You wanted... What did you
want? Milk, rice, banana, what else?

And ice cream.

Ice cream, almost forgot.

I'll be back in
about five minutes.

All right. OK.

There he goes.
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