03x14 - The Break-Up Kit

[bunniefuu]

Previously on Felicity:

Wow, Southampton. Yeah, my mom
and dad have a place there on the water.

Sounds great, but I can't.

Are you saying that because you don't
want to or because you have a girlfriend?

What is going on with you
two? You have this whole thing!

I don't have a thing,
OK? I was helping her.

Yeah, like she's
helping you cheat.

I'm on probation! All right?
I'm on academic probation.

If I fail this test,
I'll get expelled.

Wow, so you'd move to Seattle?

Yeah, maybe. Why not?

♪ Can you become

♪ Can you become

♪ A new version of you

♪ New wallpaper

♪ New shoe leather

♪ A new way home

♪ I don't remember

♪ New version of you

♪ I need a new version of me

♪ New version of you

♪ I need a new version of me ♪

Wow. Is that for class?

Uh... no.

You in a bad mood?

No.

Yeah, you are. What's wrong?

Nothing. I'm just painting.

Well, I'm in a bad mood,
just in case you're curious.

I saw Tracy at the
library with Rose.

Are you OK?

You know, the hardest part
about breaking up is living with it.

I'll get it.

Hey! Hey!

Come in! I thought you
were coming in tomorrow.

Oh, I know. I got
an earlier flight. Hi.

Felicity! Guess who's here.

Hey!

Hey, you.

Oh, God, I can't
believe I'm back.

You look great. Oh, thank you.

How is it? Are you
OK, being back?

Um, actually, it's great. It's
great. Come in, come here.

I kind of... I was a bit scared on
the plane, and then we landed,

and I felt like I
was coming home.

It was, like,
totally weird. Yeah.

Well, we are glad you're
back. We missed you.

Yeah, me too. I missed
you, too. Oh, yes.

It's the reason I came back.

And you feel good?

Yeah, I'm totally clean now. Ah.

It's the first time in a year
I've been able to say that, so...

That's great.

So how are you and
everything, and Tracy and Ben?

So, what's going on with Ben?

Nothing. I mean, no.
I mean, it's nothing.

Well, I brought
you back something

that I know is gonna put, like,
put the biggest smile on your face.

Do you remember when I used
to do those mud facial things?

Yeah, the really expensive ones.

Uh-huh. I found a little
shop in Covent Garden, and...

beauty treatments are on me.

God, this is exactly
what I need...

Something that's
gonna make me feel

like I'm not the
ugliest girl in school.

Do you wanna do it right now?

Yeah!

Hey, Megan, listen to this.

Did you know that Leonid
meteors are actually caused

by little meteoroids that, uh,
break up and burn in the atmosphere

as the Earth goes by the path of
the periodic comet Tempel-Tuttle?

Did you know that you
could get a hemorrhoid

from staying in the
bathroom too long?

I was reading. Is
that all for the Pickle?

I know you don't believe
me, but I've had séances

where I've contacted
my dead dog.

Megan, I believe you.
Just when he was alive.

But now that he's dead,
admit this is a little stupid.

Hey, I don't call
what you do stupid.

Yeah, but the difference is I
admit that I do stupid things.

So you're saying you don't think
it's possible to talk to the dead.

No. Not canine. Not human. No.

You are so closed-minded.

AKA normal.

Hey! You want to be a part of a
canine séance tonight? No, thanks, man.

Ben, are you gonna be
moping around all the time?

I'd kind of like to know your
schedule. I gotta go. I can't talk now.

It's a real joy living with
that guy, I'll tell you that.

Wow. Megan was
right. About what?

How she said you were
turning into that guy from PBS.

You know that guy, the one that
paints all those paintings really quickly?

I'm just painting.

Hey, where were
you? I called earlier.

Hospital. Elena
b*rned her corneas.

What? Are you kidding? No, she's
not kidding. I'm temporarily blind!

Oh, my God. How did this happen?

Facial from hell. First I
get her sh*t, and then I, uh,

then I kind of burn her eyes.

Molly's gonna walk her to class.
Yeah. I'm Elena's guide dog.

Thank you.

Welcome back, by the way.

Oh, thank you. You
have a really high voice.

Thanks.

See, I can hear a lot
better without my eyes.

Bye!

So, you wanna talk about it?

About what?

Not really.

Has, uh... Has
Avery been around?

No.

For what it's worth,
Ben seems pretty upset.

You know, I tried to talk to him
the other day, but you know Ben.

Yeah.

Hello?

Hey.

Yeah.

OK. Yeah, I'll meet you there.

All right.

Um, I'm gonna go meet him.

So, I didn't cheat on
that test, first of all.

I got the tests, but
I didn't use them.

How'd that go? I-I don't know.

I guess OK. I don't know.

I haven't talked to
you in a couple of days.

Yeah, I know. I called you.

Yeah. I would've
called back sooner.

I didn't know what
I was gonna say.

I still don't, really.

I just... I couldn't stand
not talking to you, you know,

not telling you what's
been going on in my head.

Well, just tell me
what you're thinking.

It doesn't have to make
sense. I know. I'm just confused.

Is it about Avery? Is that
what you're confused about?

I don't know. Maybe.

Well, if that's what
you're thinking, I mean,

if that's what you're
confused about,

then maybe we
shouldn't be together.

Maybe, um...

you should go and figure it out.

Maybe.

♪ Take heart, I'm telling you

♪ My life has come too soon

♪ But somewhere
I'll find some time ♪

Hey.

Hi. How's it going?

I just had the worst econ test,
and it gave me a terrible headache.

So I need something
with a lot of caffeine

and something very sugary,
like jelly. Uh, sure, sure, sure.

So, I'm going to
Southampton this afternoon,

and I just want you to know
that the offer still stands.

That sounds great,
but I really can't.

Big plans?

I just don't think I should go.

Ah. Well, you can stay
in the city if you want.

I just thought you might like a
place to go and clear your mind.

I'm having people over, so it's
not just gonna be you and me.

You'd have your own bedroom.

You'd have your own bedroom.

Uh, what time you leavin'?

What time can you be ready?

I can be ready at 4:00.

OK, I'll see you at 4:00. OK.

Thanks. OK.

This is really embarrassing.

Um, I-I feel like an idiot.

You don't look like one. And anyway,
you have no idea what you look like.

Is everyone staring? Nope.

Nobody's noticing you at all.

Are you OK?

Oh, yeah, she's fine, thanks.

I b*rned my corneas,
not my vocal cords.

I'm fine. Facial gone bad.

It hurts, I know. I scratched
mine once, at the beach.

You know, I got
some sand in my eye,

and I scratched it like an
idiot, had to wear a patch.

Did you feel stupid?
Man, I felt like a joke.

I'm sure it looked
better on you.

No, definitely not.

Listen, um, do you want
me to take notes for you?

Normally I wouldn't
offer, but I sympathize.

Uh, that's what
I'm here to do, so...

But she's not pre-med, so I
would love it if you would...

Uh, yeah, sure! I'll just go get
my books and move over here.

Thanks! No problem. Um, I'm
DeForrest, by the way. DeForrest Ingram.

Elena. Hey, nice to meet
you. Um, I-I'll be right back.

Thank you. What a sweetheart!

You see that? I'm
getting you sympathy.

I mean, I loved his voice.

It was warm, and he
made me feel less freakish.

Is he cute? Uh...

You know, this
happened to me once.

Duane Linnick in 11th grade.

He kinda dumped
me, and I freaked out.

I got my second,
third, and fourth tattoos.

The worst thing was because
the first one was "Duane Linnick."

And I got the second
one to cover that one up.

Ben didn't dump me. He
just said he needs to be alone.

What? Yeah.

I mean, we talked about it,
but he just needs some time,

so I told him to
go figure it out.

Ugh. Guys just suck!

Yeah, well, what
else am I gonna do?

Not all guys suck, I guess.

I mean, certain guys
suck. Ben sucks.

What's your problem? Nothing.

Wait a second. Megan, what are
you talking about? Nothing! Nothing!

Megan, if you know something
and you're not telling me,

I swear to God, I'll k*ll you!

OK. But don't tell
him that I told you,

because Sean told me,
and he... screw Sean.

Ben doesn't want to be alone.

He went to
Southampton with Avery.

So, your room is back there to
the left, and it has its own bathroom.

And you can use all the stuff
that's in there. This place is amazing.

Yeah, it's pretty great.

It's not really warm
and cozy, but it's good.

No, it's great. Thank you
for inviting me up here.

You don't need to thank me.

Listen, I might go for a swim
later if you want to join me.

Um... I think I'm just
gonna go for a walk.

OK. Um... do you want
to meet outside later?

Sure. Yeah. Sure. Sure.

Listen, make yourself at home.
Use anything you want. OK.

Hey.

Hey.

You all right?

Uh, yeah. I'm fine. I'm
fine. Are you crying?

No, no, no. I'm fine.

Will you tell Mr. High Voice
that you've been crying? Elena!

Um, Megan said she
told you about Ben.

Yeah, you know, I just
don't want to talk about that.

OK. Yeah. It's
all right. I'm sorry.

You know what the worst part
is? There's, like, nothing I can do!

I mean, there's all these
things, I have homework,

and I have to study for all
these tests and books to read,

and I just... I
can't do any of it!

He told me he was confused.
I basically told him to go!

And he went!

I mean, I thought he was talking
about time, with what he was saying!

But when guys talk about being
confused, that's just a cover, isn't it?

I think Ben and I just broke up!

It's all right. We're gonna get
through this. You know that.

It doesn't feel like it. I know.

Hey. Hey. I know what you need.

What?

I'm gonna go get it.
Just stay here. OK?

We invite you, spirits,

to enter our world!

Our room.

Our spirit circle.

Well, our spirit triangle.

Any of you...

who wish to make contact,

do so through me.

Now!

No soda.

What the hell is this? Do
you want to be a fourth?

Not a chance. Then leave.

Oh, I'm on my way.

Um, I was calling
just to say, um,

thanks for taking
notes in class today.

Yeah.

Um, I-I was wondering
if you would be willing to,

um, help me out next class.

Yeah. Really?

Can someone get that? I'm blind!

Hey. Here.

What is that?

Uh, this is what you
need. It's a breakup kit.

A breakup kit?

Yeah.

That's candy. It's not an
official part of the breakup kit.

It's just candy.

"One free popcorn"?

Yes. That one, uh, that one
goes with this one right there.

"Free double feature for
you and a guest." Mm-hmm.

You're trying to cheer me up.

Yeah, well, someone has
to, and it's not gonna be Elena.

Got you an Aretha CD, 'cause I know
how you get when you listen to Aretha.

And... Have you read this? No.

It's hilarious.

OK, but the only requirement
for you to keep the kit

is that you have to redeem
one of the coupons tonight.

OK.

A magic show? Yeah.

There are two really good tricks that I
know I haven't shown you. Maybe three.

But I'd have to practice. I'd
need, like, a silver sphere.

You know, to...
That's what I'd need.

"Eunice Green's Beef Stew"? Yes.

My Aunt Eunice was famous for a few things,
and one of them happens to be her beef stew.

And she's gonna make
it for me? No, she's dead.

But you can make it yourself,
or I can make it. Whatever.

I'll take this one. You make it.

It's a nice night.

Yeah, it is a nice night.

When I was little, we
had a different house

and my parents would
always have these pool parties,

to which I would wear
my very hot red, frilly bikini,

and I would run all around
like I was the hit of the party.

And then when I was in the
hospital, my mom brought

some of the photo albums by
so I could look at old pictures.

And I saw myself in the red frilly
bikini, and I looked really stupid.

It's amazing how your
perspective changes with time.

Yeah.

Thanks for letting
me come up here.

It actually turned
out to be pretty great.

Well, you seem like you
were going through something,

and I wanted to help.

Yeah. Don't think
there's much you can do.

Are you sure?

Because when I look at you I
see someone really frustrated.

And maybe a little bit scared.

And I'd like to think there's
something I could do to help.

Yeah. I don't
know, I don't know.

I'm gonna go down to the beach.

Alone? Yeah.

Thank you for this.

You're welcome.

OK, we're not
receiving anything.

Maybe the crystals
are positioned wrong.

Maybe we should switch seats.

OK, who wants fondue? Sean!

Megan, this is
stupid. OK? Come on.

God, it's so... It's
so embarrassing.

If anybody I've ever known were
to see me doing this right now,

they would... they would not
want to be my friend anymore.

Give me a break.

No, shh. Give her a second.

Seany?

Seany, are you there?

That's really... that's
funny. Do that again.

It's Gaboom.

Who's Gaboom?

My grandma.

Seany, honey, I wanted
to tell you something.

I wanted you to
know why I had to go.

It was your grandpa.
He was calling.

Plus, also my lungs weren't
working so well anymore.

OK, Megan.

Megan, come on.

No, Sean, it's OK. This is
what's supposed to happen.

Seany... I got something for ya.

It's just for you.

Not your parents.

Or your brother.

It's in my old room.

In the closet.

Gaboom?

What is... What is it?

Are you OK?

Yeah, I'm fine! What happened?

Nothing.

OK! Uh, eight onions,
peeled, cubed, and boiled.

Just like this. What were
some of the other things?

What other things? That your
Aunt Eunice was famous for.

Oh, um, well, one
was her beef stew,

which you will experience
shortly in all its glory,

and love because it's delicious.

Uh, and the other two were
that she could hold her breath

for almost four minutes, and
she could write with her feet.

Cursive. Like handwriting,
except it was foot writing.

That's not true.
No, that's not true.

But the beef stew is amazing.

It's gonna be the best
meal you've ever had.

Noel. Thank you for doing this.

Well, don't thank
me till you've tried it.

Mom, Dad, this is Sean. Do me a favor. Go
into the room where Gaboom used to stay.

I need you to find whatever
you see in the closet.

That was absolutely
incredible, what you did.

Sean... I mean, that was
her voice. It was her. I saw it!

I made it up. I didn't think you were
gonna go crazy and call your parents!

I did it because you were being
so smug. I wanted to shut you up!

By pretending you were Gaboom.

I'm sorry, but you were
being such a pain in the ass.

Yeah, you know
what? That's cruel.

Sean!

Great.

I think I blew it.

What?

Just what I said to Ben.

I mean, he told me he was
confused, that he felt stuck,

and I just said, "Go."

Well, I mean, that's
the brave thing to do.

Like you said, what can you do?

You can't just cling
onto him, right?

I mean, I didn't... I
wasn't honest with him.

I didn't tell him
what I was feeling.

I didn't tell him
that I love him

and that I don't want
him to go anywhere!

I didn't tell him that I
want to work through this.

There's just so many
things I should've said,

I could've explained in that moment
that might've changed his mind.

If I would've told him
that I was confused

and he'd just said, "Go," I
would've thought he didn't care at all!

Yeah. I'm sure he knows
that you care, you know?

I'm not, because I didn't say
anything. I have to go out there!

What? Wait, where you going?

I can't just let Ben go
and not do anything!

Hi. Um, I'm a friend of Avery's,

and I was just curious.

She's going out to her parents'
house in the Hamptons this weekend.

Yeah. Um, I'm gonna
be out there myself,

and I was just curious if you could tell
me where the house is or the address.

This is crazy. You
cannot go there.

First of all, it's a crazy idea.

Secondly, you don't
have a way to get there.

Got it. If I don't, I will
regret it the rest of my life.

Doesn't Sean's cousin have
a car? Can't you just call him?

I can't do this over the phone.

I have to go. Is that OK?

I mean, can I take
a rain check on this?

Look, are you...
Are you prepared?

I mean, in case...

In the off chance that
things don't go well.

No.

But you're going
up there anyway.

Yeah.

Good luck.

Thank you.

Hello?

Hey, uh, is Felicity there?

Ben? Yeah. Is she there?

Before I answer that question,

I'm gonna give you
a piece of my mind.

Megan, I'm really
not in the mood...

When Felicity and I first
met, we were not friends.

We were roommates.
And I didn't even like her.

I thought she was just some
loser, prissy, navel-gazing,

self-centered, whiny,
overly-introspective little freak.

Megan, can you please tell
her I'm on the phone, please?

It took me two years to
realize I was only partially right.

But since that time, she
and I have become friends.

And I don't know why. Maybe she was
looking for an older sister to protect her,

to help her out, to
sort of lead the way,

and maybe I was
looking for a little sister,

someone that I could b*at up on.

Anyway... Is she there?

We have known each other a
long time now, me and Felicity,

and I don't think it was in the cards
that we were gonna become friends.

I think it just
sort of happened.

In spite of the fact that we
have nothing in common,

the one thing we do have in
common are these last three years...

And I never thought
I'd hear myself say this...

But the fact is,
I love Felicity.

I do. I love her. I love her
like she was my weird, spastic,

little baby sister, and I
mean it when I say this, Ben.

If you hurt her,

I will k*ll you.

Megan! Is she there?

No!

Hi.

So, I can introduce you to
people or you can stay in here...

You can do whatever you want.

No. Sure, I'll come out
and meet some people.

Yeah, sure. Do you
have an opener? Yeah!

Thanks. You're welcome.

I wanted to kiss
you for so long.

Even at the apartment,
before, um, James came in.

I saw you and I
wanted to kiss you.

I'm sorry. It's OK.

I'm gonna go outside. OK.

"Looking forward to
tonight. DeForrest."

Oh, my God! They're
from DeForrest!

Yeah. He is so sweet!

Counter, back...

I haven't had
anybody make me feel

so good about
myself since Tracy.

And we have so much in common!

Elena, I need to
tell you something.

You know, it's just so
nice to go out with someone

who doesn't care
so much about looks.

I mean, not that Tracy
is a dog or anything.

But it's just I can't help wonder
that Rose and her big boobs

had anything to do
with us breaking up.

DeForrest, he just seems
so much deeper than that.

So, um, what did
you want to tell me?

If you, um...

If you need anybody to
take you to the doctor's

to have the patches
removed, then I'm your girl.

Thank you!

Hi! Hey.

Let me introduce you
to everybody. Sure.

Everyone, this is the
man who saved my life.

It was so confusing that night.
I don't remember very much.

But I do know that
he was my lifeline.

He was really amazing.

It's like that movie! The
one with... What movie?

Ben!

Felicity, what are
you doing here?

Can I talk to you
for a second? Yeah.

Hi, Felicity.

Hi. Just for a second.

Hey, Felicity, what's going on?

OK, just let me get
through this, all right?

I should've said this when
you told me you were confused.

I'm confused most
of the time, all right?

I mean, there's nothing more
frustrating than not being able

to articulate what
it is that you want.

Or even identify it. So I really
do understand what you mean.

And I also know that you and Avery
went through something profound that night.

I can't compete with that.

I'm not even
going to try to, OK?

But what I didn't say is that
we can work through this.

I didn't tell you
that I love you.

And I do.

And... I just feel like we've
been through so much together.

If what we have wasn't
real or worth saving,

we wouldn't have
made it this far.

I just... If time is what you
need, like I said, take that time.

But just know... I
need you to know...

That I'd rather go through
this with you than without you.

Know that I love you.

And that I want
this to work out.

I...

I can't believe you drove
all the way out here. I know.

I know! It was kind of a
crazy thing to do, but...

I wish I could say
something to make it better.

I wish I could say I'm
not confused anymore.

But I can't say that.

OK.

I had to try.

Felicity... Listen, I
don't regret doing this.

Coming up here.

Hey! You're not
gonna believe this.

Sean, I said I was sorry!
No, listen. I talked to my dad.

They looked in the closet
and they found something.

Shut up! Yeah. An envelope
with $2,000 in it. Cash.

Shut up! Yes.

You may have been joking, but
something really happened, OK?

Listen. It's a coincidence... I don't want
to believe this... You're screwing around!

I'm not screwing around!
Something really happened, OK?

It's amazing. And it's
because of you, what you did.

You mean my conversations
with Pickles were real?

And by the way, you know those
red patent leather boots that you want?

Yeah! Buy 'em.

I can't afford them, Sean... Yeah,
no. You can afford them. OK?

Put them on your credit
card, and I will pay you back.

I got to talk to Gaboom.
You're gonna get your boots.

You! You are the
best boyfriend ever!

You know, you should probably just
ignore Clayton. He's just really insecure.

No. He seems like a nice guy.

Well, I wouldn't call him a
nice guy, but he's harmless.

No, uh, he seems fine. I
mean, I had a good time.

Did you? Yeah!

So, you don't regret coming?
Why would I regret coming?

I don't know, because you just
seemed sort of out of it since we left.

And I want to make sure that you had a
good time, because I'm glad that you came.

Look at this. What is it?

My Poli Sci grade. I got a B-.

Ohh. You shoulda used the test.

It's a B-. Yeah, I know.
That sucks. I'm sorry.

Do I look OK?

Yeah. You look beautiful.
Why do you say it like that?

Um...

This is like "The Dating Game"!

Yeah, a very
special version of it.

Coming!

Hi! Hi.

Hey, you got your eyes
back. Wow, they're nice.

Uh, thank you. Um... wow.

You... you're the
beautiful voice.

Yeah. Um, look.

I understand that you
agreed to go out with me

when you couldn't
see and everything.

But now that you can see,
I mean, now that I'm here,

I understand if you don't
want to go out on the date.

Just tell me now so you don't
waste your time, or me mine.

I should be insulted by that.

Um... yeah.

I wanna go! And you know what?

It's on me. My treat.

OK. But that's a bad move.

OK!

Hey.

Uh, Molly called
and filled me in.

Yeah. Didn't go so well.

You were right.

Anyway, I, uh... I
realize that you never got

to experience Aunt
Eunice's beef stew.

I am hungry.

What was that girl's name again?

Sensa. Sensa!

And didn't she take you to
meet her cousins or something?

Yeah! Her Mafia cousins.

And she said that you were her
boyfriend, right? Oh, that's right.

I almost got my
ass kicked that night.

I'm glad you brought
that up. Thanks.

How's the food? Is
it good? Be honest.

The food is good.

But the dinner is great.

Can I, uh...

Can I talk to you
about something?

Yeah.

Uh... OK.

I don't... I don't want you to,

like...

feel weird.

Hey.

Hey.

Um, can we, uh...

Yeah.

Yeah.

You can tell me to get
out of here if you want.

I probably deserve
to be told that. It's OK.

I probably should have been smart
enough to say this when you were out there.

After you drove all the
way out to Southampton,

which was an
amazing thing to do.

Look, what I'm confused about
is what I went through with Avery.

It's one thing knowing you're gonna
die. It's another thing to see that,

to go through that
with another person.

If that makes any sense.

So what happened in Southampton?

Nothing happened.

Well, that's not true.

Being up there made me realize
that I didn't want to be there.

It made me realize that I
wanted to be here with you.

I got something
when I got back that...

That should have made me happy.

It should've, except
you weren't there.

What are you talking about?

I got my stupid
Poli Sci grade back.

I got... I got a B-.

You got a B-?

Yeah.

I'm so sorry I made
you go through all that.

Thank you for coming up there.

Thank you for everything.

Are you sure?

Yes, I'm sure.

I'm really sure.

Hey!

Hey. Wow!

Check it out. Oh,
man, those look great!

Thank you for these. Mm-hmm.

And I thought that maybe later
we could have another séance.

Mm. There's really no
point in that. Why not?

Because séances don't really
work. What are you talking about?

What about the $2,000?
What about Gaboom?

Oh. Yeah. That
never really happened.

My parents went into the closet, and all
they found was an old pair of support hose.

Ugh. Well, what about the boots?

I'm not gonna pay
you back for those.

It's called a lesson, Megan.

Don't mess with
the spirit of Gaboom!

OK.

Well, um, that is a
lesson I can live with.

Uh, I used your credit card.

Oh. Ohh. No, you didn't.

Yeah.

Hey.

Hi.

I've been trying to think
of the best way to say this.

And...

I don't think you
know what it's like to...

To know someone like you.

Noel, what you did for me was...

It wasn't a big deal.

The breakup kit was, um...

Looked harder to make
than it actually was, so...

It's not just that.

It's everything.

It's who you are and
who you are to me.

Well, doesn't look like
you're gonna be needing it.

No. It doesn't look like I am.

That's good.

Noel, I don't know
what I'd do without you.

I don't know what
I'd do without you.

♪ To be happy

♪ Really happy

♪ Three wishes were granted

♪ But are you happy?

♪ It's hard to let go

♪ Of all that you know

♪ May you walk
with an angel beside

♪ We all need forgiveness

♪ There's no need to hide

♪ I pray for your moment

♪ To come shinin' through

♪ It's hard to recover

♪ The things that you lose

♪ All the things you believe in

♪ Are all you require

♪ To make you
happy Really happy ♪