03x09 - The Bird

[bunniefuu]

(UPBEAT ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)

(BELL RINGS)

Well, that call definitely
robbed me of my appetite.

Yeah, who'd have thought that
hipsters and hatchets and beer

would be a bad idea?

Hey, don't knock it.

Axe throwing is the new hot thing.

Yeah, maybe not so hot after today.

It's a pretty cool idea for a date,

if somebody wanted to step up his game.

There will be no stepping up of any game

because my game is just fine.

Bland chicken dinner is not game.

Girls wanna be surprised.

What are y'all squabbling about?

Nothing. It's not firehouse talk.

Fine. We'll wait until we're home

to discuss your hot date tomorrow.

Hey!

Okay, now it's firehouse talk.

Who's the lucky lady, Cap?

Nobody. And my chicken is not bland.

Come on, Cap, we want the deets.

- OWEN: No deets.
- PAUL: How about a name?

- She doesn't have one.
- MATEO: It's Catherine.

Oh, Catherine, the cocktail waitress?

Nah, the political powerhouse
who works for the governor.

You know, the one he kidnapped.

Oh, yeah! Kidnapped Catherine.

The one you met on my dating app?

Yes. And I didn't kidnap her.

I borrowed a car to save a child.

She was only held
against her will very briefly.

And they say romance is dead.

No, it won't be,
if somebody surprises her

with something special tomorrow.

Okay, Catherine, like me,

is a type-A master of the universe.

We're organized, value time management.

And you know what we hate?

- Bland chicken?
- (ALL LAUGHING)

Surprises.

The answer is surprises.

- FIREFIGHTER: Captain Strand?
- Yeah.

- You got a delivery.
- Is it my vegetable spiralizer?

No, it's, uh, it's not that.

I want to know.

- Oh, God, no.
- Whoa-ho! No way!

PAUL: You got a parrot, Cap?

MATEO: I'm pretty sure it's a toucan.

It's a... it's a macaw.

Did anything come with this?

- Yes, this letter.
- (SQUAWKING)

OWEN: She wouldn't.

- Who?
- She?

Gwyn.

This is a letter.

From her lawyer.

She left me this bird in her will.

Hello, butt face.

- Ooh.
- Oh!

NORAH: Oh, my God, babe,
we are gonna be so late.

I bet the service already started.

Just breathe, Norah.

They're not gonna start without you.

I was so on time too.

And then Liana spat up avocado
all over her christening gown.

Norah, don't sweat it.
You're gonna be fine.

I just hate you missing
all her milestones.

Me too.

LIANA: Mom?

Say hi to daddy, Liana.

Hi, baby.

Daddy loves you.

(BABBLES) I love you too.

(NORAH LAUGHS)

She is so beautiful, Javi.

I can't wait for you to meet her.

Oh, me too.

But I'll meet her soon.

Soon? You mean in six months
after your deployment?

Closer to about...

seconds.

What? What...

Is that...

That's St. Luke's behind you.

JAVIER: Huh.

I guess it is.

(LAUGHING)

Javier, are you serious? How?

How about hours
in the jump seat of a C- .

I can't believe it.
Did you hear that, Liana?

Daddy's here. You're gonna meet Daddy.

I made it home in one piece
just like I promised.

- (HORN BLARING)
- (TIRES SCREECHING)

(SCREAMS)

_

_

_

He's stuck under my car!

- (SIREN WAILING)
- (HORN HONKING)

(GROANS) Please hurry. He's over here.

- TK, assess the husband.
- TK: Yeah, Cap.

TOMMY: I'm gonna take a good look at you

and your baby, okay? Come on.

Can you tell me your name?

(GROANS) Staff Sergeant Javier Galvez.

How's your pain, Sergeant?

JAVIER: It hurts, if that's
what you mean. (GROANING)

TK: Where are you feeling the pain?

Hands and feet or neck or head?

Mostly my leg.

That's not motor oil I feel, is it?

All I wanted to do was meet my daughter.

Alright, Judd,
get the bags and the cribbing.

Marjan, the jaws.

Alright, everybody,
we need to move back.

Give us a little room to work.

(TENSE MUSIC PLAYING)

He made it through three tours
without a scratch

and then I run him over?

Hey, I need you to take
some deep breaths, okay?

TK: Hey, Cap.

What are we looking at under there?

It's hard to tell exactly,

but he's bleeding out above the knee.

He's probably lost a liter of blood.

Could be the popliteal artery.

Can you tourniquet?

Not with the way he's stuck under there.

Captain Strand, you're up.

Roger that.

Paul, Mateo, start the cribbing.

Judd, chock these wheels.

Marjan, fire up the jaws,
set the stabilizer plate.

Let's get this car off the ground.

(GROANING)

- TK: Okay, set?
- MARJAN: Yeah.

Alright, Cap, we're ready for it.

- Do it.
- (WHIRRING)

- (SCREAMING)
- Hey! Stop! Stop!

Stop! Stop! Stop! Stop!
Stop! Stop! Stop!

(SCREAMING CONTINUES)

His leg's jammed between
the frame and transmission.

We lift the car, we left him.

Alright, we've gotta get his leg free.

Alright, so what are you thinking, Cap,

disassemble the engine, do it that way?

That would take a Dale Earnhardt
pit crew minutes.

His BP's dropping, Cap, it's over .

Alright, we can't lift the car,
we can't disassemble it.

Captain?

Field amputation?

Good chance he'll bleed out first.

So how about an old-fashioned lube job?

Captain, you mind if we borrow
a couple -mil syringes?

And a lot of water-based lubricant.

- Got it?
- On it, Cap.

Alright.

- How you doing, Sergeant?
- (WEAKLY): I'm cold.

You just hang in there, Sarge,

we're gonna get you
out of here in no time.

Alright, Cap, he's about as lubed up

as we're gonna get him.

Alright, Marjan, nice and easy.

(WHIRRING)

MATEO: Hey, he's fading.

Alright, let's get him out of there!

- (RUMBLING)
- JUDD: Whoa!

- Hey, his leg's free.
- Come on, let's move!

TK: Easy, easy.

One, two, three.

I got the tourniquet.

(LIANA COOING)

(FLATLINE)

- Lost pulse, Cap.
- He's crashing.

TK, bolus fluids.

Pushing epi.

- Start compressions.
- TK: On it.

(FLATLINE CONTINUES)

(RADIO CHATTER ECHOING)

Oh, God. Oh, God, Javi! Please, please!

Ma'am, it's better that you stay back.

NORAH: She never got
the chance to meet him.

At least let her say goodbye.

- NORAH (CRYING): Javi.
- (LIANA CRYING)

I'm so sorry.

- We love you so much.
- (CHURCH BELLS RINGING)

This is Liana.

(LIANA BABBLES, CRIES)

(BEEPING)

He's coming back to sinus.

NORAH: Javi?

(LIANA CRYING)

Is that her?

NORAH: Yeah.

Yeah, this is her.

This is her, Javi. This is our baby.

JAVIER: Wow.

She is beautiful.

(TRUCK BEEPING)

Hey, Paul. Can macaws eat cereal?

Captain said that one eats fingers.

I was thinking of lowering some in

like they did with the goat
in "Jurassic Park."

Hey, Judd, straighten out.

That was a cow, not a goat.

MATEO: No, I remember a goat.

It was definitely a cow.

It moos the whole way down. It's awful.

Paul, would you tell Marjan she's wrong?

It was both.

The Raptors got the cow,

the T-Rex got the goat.

PAUL: Judd, stop!

Stop! Judd!

- Right.
- Okay.

PAUL: No! No! No!

(GROANS, SCREAMS)

(PANTING)

- MARJAN: Hey. Hey.
- PAUL: No. No.

- No. No.
- MARJAN: Hey, hey, hey, hey.

- MARJAN: Hey, hey, hey.
- PAUL: God.

MARJAN: Hey. Breathe.

Breathe.

Oh!

(EXHALES)

Will you please let me get Captain Vega

to take a look at you?

No, no, no, I'm good.

I'm good.

MARJAN: The nightmares
just keep coming, huh?

What is that, five this week?

Yeah, something like that.

MARJAN: And they seem
to be getting worse.

Do you wanna talk about it?

No. Look, it's nothing
to talk about, okay?

It's probably something I ate.

It's just dreams, Marjan.

MARJAN: Dreams that
have you hyperventilating

and waking up drenched in sweat.

- Look, I'm-I'm fine.
- Hey.

(PAUL INHALES AND EXHALES DEEPLY)

I'm alright.

(EXHALES)

- Dude.
- What?

Your heartbeat.

It's all over the place.

GLORIA (OVER LAPTOP): Owen Strand,
it's been too long.

- I'm already being billed, aren't I?
- (BIRD SQUAWKS)

I wish we weren't
renewing our acquaintance

under such tragic circumstances.

Yes, because the divorce
proceedings were such a joy.

Water under the bridge.

We aren't enemies anymore.

Did you facilitate the delivery
of a macaw to my firehouse?

- I did.
- Then we remain enemies.

MACAW: Sleep on the couch, butt face.

OWEN: You hear this?
This animal is abusive and hateful,

not to mention a biter.

There's no way that
you can make me keep it.

Mr. Strand, as Gwyn's lawyer,

I am simply executing
her care plan for Ginsburg,

as stipulated by her will
and letter of final wishes.

There is no way that Gwyn would
make me keep this animal.

There has to be a mistake.

"If my Harlequin Macaw Ginsburg

"is alive at my death,

I leave him in the care of Owen Strand."

- Are you Owen Strand?
- Yes.

Then he belongs to you.

Sounds like Mom wanted this, Dad.

OWEN: Maybe years ago,

when we were making our wills.

Things were very different
between us then,

mostly because we were married.

Actually, her will was updated

one month after the birth of the baby.

Which baby? The baby that's a baby

or the baby that's now a grown man,
and smirking at me?

Baby Jonah.

He's really not that terrible, Dad.

Why don't you take him home?

I'm just gonna... go.

(SQUAWKS)

Alright, Gloria, are you sure
you don't want the bird?

Because I think the two of you
would really get each other.

You're both high maintenance

and you spread misery wherever you go.

Sorry, Owen.

You're the only one

Gwyn intended to give the bird to.

Yeah, well...

she really did give me the bird.

(CAWS)

TOMMY: Hey, how's it going up there?

I, I think I heard squawking.

That was just Dad.

He's really trying
to get rid of that bird, huh?

Yeah. Mom was kind of undefeated
when it came to legal matters,

and looks like
her streak's gonna continue.

Are you headed
somewhere special right now?

No, just-just home. Why?

You mind sittin' for a minute?

Okay.

(CLEARS THROAT)

Listen, I... (SIGHS)

I'm really not good at this stuff.

Sitting?

Discussing uncomfortable things.

It's okay, Cap, I...

I know what this is about.

You do?

The narcotics safe.

I opened it last week without logging it

and, uh, whichever way
you wanna reprimand me,

I... I understand, alright?

But you have my word it
will not happen again, Cap.

I know it won't, TK.

And I appreciate your honesty.

But that is not why
I wanted to talk to you.

What's... What's up?

We've hardly spoken
since your mom passed.

I want to know how you're holding up.

Well, she's, uh...

She's dead.

What other option do I have

than just getting through it, right?

Yeah. Okay. So, so, here we go.

And if-if this is weird
or we cross some...

work-life boundary,

do not hesitate to say no.

But there's a meeting I go to sometimes.

It's for people who have lost someone.

Yeah, I might... I know the
thought of pouring your guts out

to a bunch of strangers
sounds excruciating.

You know what? I-I definitely see

that I have overstepped, so...

Cap, I would love
to go to a meeting with you.

Okay.

Okay.

(DOOR OPENS)

DR. NELSON:
I am sorry to keep you waiting.

I wanted to run
some of your test results

by my chief of cardiology.

Okay, well, that sounds ominous.

Mr. Strickland,
you have a serious arrhythmia.

How serious are we talking?

DR. NELSON: Frankly,
given the demands of your job,

I'm surprised you haven't had
a cardiac event already.

But I feel like a million bucks.

That's not entirely true.

He's had a few dizzy spells

and shortness of breath
at night sometimes.

Yeah, but it's been so mild,
I didn't think to bring it up.

DR. NELSON: Do you
recall when you first started

experiencing these symptoms?

Few months ago, I guess.

He was in that gym collapse
in the blizzard

and he got hypothermia.

DR. NELSON: I see that in your chart,
and that makes sense.

Does anybody in your family have

a history of cardiac trouble?

My dad, uh, he d*ed of a heart att*ck.

May I ask how old he was?

Thirty-six.

I didn't know that.

Yeah, but it was the Chicago
comfort food that got him,

you know, too much
deep dish and ugly dogs.

I eat clean. I work out six days a week.

I'm telling you, I'm good.

Mr. Strickland, um...

Can I ask you a question?

It may seem strange.

Have you been having nightmares?

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, he has
as a matter of fact, why?

I believe you have something
called Brugada syndrome.

It's a very rare heart condition,

it's quite serious.

Um, arrhythmia and nightmares
are the telltale symptoms.

Okay, so, so, what is he looking at?

Untreated, it can be fatal,

but the good news is

there are simple, proven remedies

that can minimize the mortality risk

to almost nil.

(SIGHS DEEPLY)

That is good news.

What-what kinda remedies?

I'd like to implant a defibrillator.

What, a pacemaker?

It's more... sophisticated than that.

But, yeah, in layman's terms, yes.

I... I'm years old, man.

I can't have a pacemaker.

You know what that
would do to my fitness?

They'd put me on limited duty

or, or force me to early retirement.

Okay, you can, you can train
your body back to full strength

even with a pacemaker, right, Doc?

Um... it's technically possible.

But it's not likely.

DR. NELSON: I'll be blunt.

Mr. Strickland,
without this procedure...

I don't see you making it to .

So you wanna order takeout?

Whatever.

What are you feeling, ramen, Thai?

I-I don't care, I'm not really hungry.

Look... I know this sucks, okay?

But you're not gonna
go through this alone.

Tomorrow, we walk into Cap's office

and tell him together,
and then I will be by your side

every step of the way.

I'm not doing the surgery, Marjan.

MARJAN: What do you mean?

You heard what the doctor said
happens if you don't.

Yeah, and I heard what happens if I do.

- You don't know that.
- Yeah, I do.

Okay, so even if you don't,
your life's not over

just because you can't run
into burning buildings anymore.

Well, either way,
I don't intend to find out.

MARJAN: So that's your plan?

Just keep going to work and
pretend like nothing's happening?

What if you have to run a line
up flights of stairs

or lift a car off a motorist
and you go into cardiac arrest?

Marjan, I've been doing that
for years. So far, so good.

Damn it, Paul,
you're gonna end up just like your dad!

Which would be an honor.

My dad was the greatest man I ever knew.

He taught me to live my life
with passion,

with purpose, without shame.

To be exactly who I am,
no matter what anybody says.

And this is who I am.

I just don't want you to die.

I don't want that either.

But I would rather die a firefighter

than live any other way.

(CALM MEDITATION MUSIC PLAYING)

WOMAN (OVER SPEAKERS):
Ground yourself to the universe

with a long, deep inhale.

(INHALES DEEPLY)

Allow yourself to be
infused with tranquility

as you exhale through the nose.

Unburden yourself of the
toxicity of the mundane.

(BIRD SQUAWKS)

(BIRD CHIRPING)

GINSBURG: Outta the road, jackass!

(SQUAWKS)

Get over it. (SQUAWKING)

Get out of my house.

Ginsburg, shut up!

(LOUD SQUAWKING)

(INHALES DEEPLY)

(LOW SQUAWKING)

GINSBURG: Call me, sweetheart.

Please, can't you be quiet?

It's impossible to meditate
when it sounds like rush hour

at nd Street.

GINSBURG: Get over it.

Hey, do you want the cage cover?

Because I will give you the cage cover.

- GINSBURG: Hey, butt face.
- Alright, that's it.

MATEO: Hey, everything
okay in here, Cap?

Actually, Mateo, it's not.

Feathered spawn of Satan has
taken up residence in my living room.

GINSBURG: Bitch and moan,
bitch and moan.

If it makes you feel any better,
I've had worse roommates.

I doubt that very much.

My last ones blew up my house.

OWEN: Fair enough.

But at least
they weren't trying to heckle

and taunt you for literally
the rest of your life.

You know, these birds can live
to be over years old.

- No way.
- Yeah way.

Winston Churchill's macaw...

is still alive.

Damn!

I mean, can you imagine

the history that bird
must have witnessed?

Oh, I'm imagining
the next years of my life

with this beaked bastard.

MATEO: I mean, maybe if
you're gonna be stuck with him...

maybe you should make peace with him.

Hmm, that's impossible.

GINSBURG: Get over it.

You see? Evil.

Uh, maybe make him an offering.

An offering, you mean like a,
like a sacrifice to the demon?

Or a peanut?

Oh, what are you doing?

I'm telling you, the last person

who put their hand in that cage

got the tip of their pinkie bitten off.

It was one of TK's stupid friends.

- What-what are you doing?
- I'm showing him some trust.

Here you go, boy.

Here you go. Good boy. Come on.

GINSBURG: Love you, honey.

(MATEO LAUGHS) Oh!

I love you too, Ginsey.

Yeah.

You said that just like Gwyn used to.

How-how are you doing this?
He hates people.

GINSBURG: Shut up, butt face.

Well, maybe he doesn't hate people

as much as he just hates you.

Oh! (LAUGHS)

After you, dear. I'm sorry.

Aw.

Oh!

Oh, what the hey.

(CHUCKLES)

DAPHNE: So now I don't know what to do.

He used to love the chicken,

but he has a poultry allergy now.

- ISAAC: That's too bad...
- Uh, ex... Excuse me.

ISAAC: Try something with salmon.

The oil does wonders for their coat,

and it's quite yummy.

Or so you hear.

Uh... y-young man?

Could I borrow
those big muscles of yours

to lift some kitty litter?

Uh, sure thing. I'll be with you
right after I finish with this customer.

Let's get you all set up.
Uh, I'm Isaac, by the way.

- I picked up on that.
- Really? How?

Name on your name tag around your neck.

- Aah. That.
- (BOTH CHUCKLE)

DAPHNE: I'm Daphne.

ISAAC: Well, Daphne, you're in luck.

I have something here
with fresh-caught fish

and ancient grains.

- Ooh!
- ISAAC: Top-shelf stuff.

- DAPHNE: Oh. Literally.
- ISAAC: Literally.

(DOG WHINING)

(TOOTS)

Young man, I'm waiting.

Yes, ma'am, I told you just one second.

And I told you,
you gulp of hot horse piddle,

I need that litter.

Ma'am. There's no need for that.

She can go ahead of me, it's fine.

No, it's not fine. You were here first.

- She can wait her turn.
- (HORN TOOTING)

Quit wasting my time while
you're eye-humping this hussy.

Okay, now I'm gonna
have to ask you to leave.

Oh, you want me to leave?

Ma'am. Ma'am!

DAPHNE: Brisket!

("BALLROOM BLITZ" PLAYING)

Screw your store!

Ma'am, stop!

Do not knock that over.

♪

Enough, ma'am! Please!

Brisket. Here, boy.

♪ My dreams are getting so strange ♪

♪ I'd like to tell you
everything I see ♪

Ma'am. Enough.

Rot in hell, bitch.

♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah! ♪

♪ And the man in the back
said, "Everyone att*ck" ♪

♪ And it turned into a ballroom blitz ♪

♪ And the girl in the corner said,
"Boy I want to warn you" ♪

♪ And it turned into a ballroom blitz ♪

No.

♪ Ballroom blitz ♪

♪ Ballroom blitz ♪

(DAPHNE SCREAMS)

She said multiple casualties?

Correct. Female, s.

Trapped under those shelving units.

She's conscious and talking,

but because of the electrical issues,

no one's been able to get close.

Alright. Mateo, let's get
to the breaker box.

Turn the power off.

Paul, Marjan, let's get some work lights

and set up some airbags.

The other casualties, where are they?

Store employee took a can
to the forehead in the att*ck.

att*ck? Where's the suspect?

That would be our final patient there.

(GROANS SHARPLY)

What, you're telling me
Mee-Maw did all this?

Let me go, you sons of b*tches!

(WOMAN YELLS)

Never underestimate a Mee-Maw
on a motorized cart.

If you wouldn't mind checking
her out so we can take her to jail.

Captain Strand, how long do you think

to extricate the lady under the shelves?

Ten minutes more or less.

Great. We'll take care of these two.

Radio when you need us.

Alright, we have a plan.

Let's get to work.

Hey, Cap, I'm barely
getting a BP reading.

Try manually.

- TK, you need to hold her still.
- (WOMAN GROANS)

Yeah, I'm trying, but she's very strong.

ISAAC: Yeah, no kidding.

She went Nolan Ryan on me
with a can of cat food.

You deserved it, you hippie ass wipe.

You know, I never believed
the crazy cat lady stereotype.

Not until today.

WOMAN: Get your meat hooks off me!

TK: Uh, Cap, her cuff is on correctly,

but it's like her BP
is bottoming out. It's weird.

She shouldn't be conscious
much less cursing people out.

I have an idea as to why. Okay. Ma'am?

How many cats do you have?

Sixteen little angels.

And you two nitwits
are keeping me from 'em!

Alright, listen to me.
Do you change your cat litter?

Of course, I do! They're my babies.

TK, start a line right now.

- This is toxoplasmosis.
- You think it's a parasite?

It's often found in cat feces

and linked to sudden rage disorders

and will mask symptoms like
extremely low blood pressure.

Would you two stop lollygagging?

I'm tired.

I know you are, honey.
TK, diazepam, now.

- Why?
- Because she's about to have a...

- (SCREAMS)
- Alright, it's okay, ma'am.

I got you. I got you.

Can we get these handcuffs?

(GROANING)

Alright, it's okay.

Alright, we need that line now, TK.

I'm trying, Cap,
but I can't find a vein.

TOMMY: She's probably dehydrated.
Her veins have collapsed.

- You got the Veinlite?
- Yeah.

- Here.
- Okay.

(GROANING SHARPLY)

TOMMY: Found one.

Get ready to push.

- TK: Okay.
- Got it?

- Alright.
- Go.

(EXHALES DEEPLY)

Mrs. Engel?

Hey. Can you hear me?

(WEAKLY): Oh, dear.
What... What happened?

Where am I?

You just had a seizure, ma'am.

Goodness.

I need to get home and feed my babies.

No, no, no, no, no. You relax.

We're gonna take you
to the hospital first. Alright?

They're gonna give you some antibiotics.

Oh, my.

I hope I wasn't too much trouble.

(WHIMSICAL MUSIC PLAYING)

Alright, ma'am, you hang on,
we're almost there.

(DAPHNE GROANS SOFTLY)

Let's clear a path.

JUDD: Miss? Can you reach my hand?

DAPHNE: Yeah.

The other hand. The other hand.

- DAPHNE: Yeah.
- There you go.

(CRIES)

JUDD: Backboard.

Need you to wait just a little bit.

Hold tight, hold tight.
Just gotta lay you in there.

I'm gonna put her right here.

- MARJAN: Okay, guys.
- JUDD: Alright, guys,

- get the other two.
- Nice and easy.

Okay, on three.

One, two, three.

Alright, Captain.

Hey, hon, I'm Tommy, this is TK.

We're gonna take a look at that leg.

I don't care about my leg.

Brisket?

Where is he?

- Brisket?
- Whoa, whoa. Who's Brisket?

He's my dog. He's a white Shih Tzu.

I lost him when the shelves fell.

OWEN: Alright, everybody,
we're looking for

a little white dog named Brisket.

ALL: Brisket?

Brisket!

- ALL: Brisket!
- Come here, boy.

OWEN: Alright, whoa, whoa.
Stop everything.

Ma'am, why don't you
try calling your dog?

Bris... Brisket?

- Come here, buddy.
- (BRISKET BARKING)

- Brisket...
- Hey, hey!

Cap, I hear him. He's under here!

DAPHNE: God, get him out of there!

Don't-don't move. Don't move, Daphne.

You'll just hurt yourself further.

He's stuck.

Mateo, how long will take you
to reposition those airbags?

Five minutes, Cap.

Hey, we don't need the bags.

I can see him! I can get him.

- Paul!
- (GRUNTING)

Paul, what are you doing?

Come on, boy. (SMACKS LIPS)

(BARKS)

Okay, okay.

That's what I'm talking about, baby.

Dr. Bruce Banner, let's go!

Hi! Hi!

- Really?
- What?

The chicken needs a few more minutes.

Can I refresh your glass?

CATHERINE: Oh, please.

I have to say,

dinner in as the second date

was quite the gambit.

How's it going so far?

No dirty dishes in the sink,

weird stains on the carpet,

or screams coming from the basement.

Yeah, I had the basement sound-proofed.

So what do you think?

I love it. Contemporary minimalist.

Clean lines with no clutter.

Not a fan of clutter.

Hmm. A man after my own heart.

How's the gambit coming?

Well, I haven't tried the chicken,

but... it's trending
in the right direction.

GINSBURG: Get out of my house.

Uh... What was that?

Nothing.

GINSBURG: I'm changing
the locks, butt face.

Is there somebody else in the house?

No, not somebody. Something.

Who's gonna get an extra hour
of cage cover in the morning

if it doesn't shut up?

- GINSBURG: Get over it.
- CATHERINE: Owen.

Is there a bird in there?

You didn't tell me you're a bird person.

- It's not my choice.
- GINSBURG: Get over it.

(SIGHS)

It's such a mood k*ller.

I mean, that thing eavesdropping on us.

I would understand
if you'd wanted to just...

call it a night.

No. But I do wanna meet him.

OWEN: Catherine, meet Ginsburg.

GINSBURG: Hello, butt face.

Told you he was a jerk.

CATHERINE: Wow. He's so handsome.

He's a macaw, right?

You know your birds.

We had an African Grey growing up.

Where'd this guy come from?

My ex-wife left him to me in her will.

Obviously to t*rture me
for the rest of my natural life.

Was she a vindictive person?

No. She was kind. She was very kind.

Oh. So torturing you probably
wasn't high on the agenda.

Maybe she thought you'd
take the best care of him.

- Hmm.
- You know, he's grieving too.

For a bird to lose his person
can be very painful.

- (CHATTERING)
- Tsk. Poor thing.

GINSBURG : Love you, honey.

See? He's not so bad.

Why don't you just try petting his head?

Uh... Alright.

But my blood is on your hands.

GINSBURG (SQUAWKS):
Sleep on the couch, butt face.

Does he always call you that, butt face?

Yes. It's not funny.

I mean, it's pretty funny.

It's also probably not a coincidence.

- What do you mean?
- CATHERINE: Higher birds

have more social neurons

than any creature in the animal kingdom.

They pick up on our feelings about them.

As if he wasn't creepy enough as it is.

Is it possible that you had
some bad or traumatic experience

with this guy in the past?

There's nothing.

He's just an irrational animal.

I've never harmed a gaudy feather

on his gaudy little head.

(OVEN DINGS)

Except maybe cooking
his cousin for dinner.

Let that be a warning to you.

(BELL RINGS)

Whoa. Cap.

Looks like you were
on the losing end of a brawl.

A brawl called breakfast.

Well, I take it those are
beak-related injuries there.

Damn, that really is
a little demon bird, huh?

I've always thought so.

What do you mean?

Well, right after he did this to me,

he ate a piece of cereal
out of Mateo's mouth

and then kissed him.

(CHUCKLING) Alright...

So Mateo kissed a bird?

Yeah, I mean...

they seem to be building quite a bond.

Was it, was it an open-mouth kiss?

Was it a close-mouth kiss?

That's not exactly the point, Judd.

So... Catherine said something

that maybe the bird
has a personal grudge against me

because of something I did to it.

Okay.

Yeah, well, I haven't seen
the bird in years,

so that's insane, right?

Well, animals know their people,

and they don't ever forget.

Oh. Yeah.

I was afraid you'd say
something like that.

Did you do something that you
would have beef with this bird?

So after / ...

I threw myself into my work.

I was always at the firehouse.
I was never home.

Even when I was, I wasn't.

I wasn't home.

And I started drinking a lot and...

Gwyn and I started fighting.

And that bird had a front-row seat.

To all of it.

And it was so protective of her.

Squawk and snap and...

whenever we fought, so I...

I yelled at him, "Shut up...

butt face."

So you called the bird butt face first.

It wasn't my finest hour.

And I've been thinking about
the last thing that I said to Gwyn,

the night that I moved out.

She had, um...

She told me that I had sucked the joy

out of our family.

And out of her.

And what did you tell her?

I told her to get over it.

I've always regretted it.

I always wanted to apologize for it.

Now she's gone. Well...

I never will.

("JUST A GIGOLO" BY KEELY SMITH,
SAM BUTERA & THE WITNESSES PLAYING)

♪ I'm just a gigolo
and everywhere I go ♪

♪ People know the part I'm playing ♪

♪ There will come a day ♪

♪ And youth will pass away ♪

♪ What, what will they say about me? ♪

♪ When the end comes I know
there's a just a gigolo's ♪

♪ Life goes on without me ♪

- (RECORD SKIPS)
- ♪ Life goes on without me ♪

♪ Life goes on without me ♪

♪ Life goes on without me ♪

♪ Life goes on without me ♪

♪ Life goes on without me ♪

♪ Life goes on without me ♪

♪ Life goes on without me... ♪

(PHONE BUZZING)

(DOORBELL DINGS)

Paul, you in there?

Paul, come on, open the door.

Look, I know you don't
want to talk to me,

but I don't really care, so open up.

Come on, this is so messed up.

Ride or dies
don't ghost each other, man.

♪ ...goes on without me ♪

♪ Life goes on without me ♪

Paul?

Paul?

Paul!

(GRUNTS)

Oh... no.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

Hey! Hey, Paul.

(KEYPAD BEEPS)

(LINE RINGS)

DISPATCHER (OVER PHONE):
- - , what's your emergency?

Uh, this is firefighter Marjan Marwani.

I have an off-duty firefighter

at Duncan Court, apartment six.

He's non-responsive.

His name is Paul Strickland.

There's no respiration and no pulse.

DISPATCHER:
I understand. EMS is en route.

Paul?

Please don't die.

Paul...

(MONITOR BEEPING)

(PAUL MUMBLES)

Hey. Hey, buddy.

Oh...

Marjan, where am I?

Hospital.

What?

What happened?

You don't remember any of it, do you?

No, no. No.

I must have blacked out.

Yeah, I got to you just in time.

I had to kick in
your front door, though.

Serves you right
for not answering my texts.

That door is solid oak.

Wasn't gonna keep me
from my best friend.

Oh... I left the stove on.

Hey, hey, no, the stove is off.
Everything's fine.

Just try not to move

and the doctor should be here soon.

What... What is this?

What is this?

It's the battery.

Battery?

Battery to what?

Your pacemaker.

- You called - - ?
- MARJAN: I did.

And I rode with you
to the hospital, too.

You had me pretty freaked out.

And you let them put this thing in me?

Let them?

Well, did they say I was gonna
die on the table or something?

They didn't exactly consult with me.

But you didn't stop them?

MARJAN: Stop them?

How was I supposed to do that?
And why would I?

Because, because you knew my wishes.

You knew I didn't want this.
Why didn't you say anything?

Hey. Paul, are you serious?

It wasn't your choice to make.

And I didn't make it.

The doctors did. Your body did.
I saved your life.

You...

Please leave.

- Paul.
- PAUL: I mean it, Marjan.

Can't even look at you right now.

Get out!

Okay. (SNIFFLES)

(EXHALES)

Thank you.

No problem.

(SOMBER MUSIC PLAYING)

Hello, Ginsburg.

GINSBURG: (SQUAWKING) Hello, butt face.

OWEN: Yeah.

Well, there comes a time
in every man's life

when he's gotta eat a little crow.

(CAWS SOFTLY)

Sorry, that was
an unfortunate turn of a phrase.

(CAWS SOFTLY)

I want to apologize...

for being such a d*ck to you

those last few months
we lived together in New York.

To you and to her.

In the, uh... (CHUCKLES) (SNIFFLES)

In the years since I've...

tried to bury it, but, um...

'Cause I was ashamed.

I was mortified by my behavior.

But now that you're here,
I can't hide it.

Man, if I think it's messed up
that you're here,

I can only imagine what you feel

or how much you miss Gwyn.

(CAWS SOFTLY)

You don't even understand
why things changed.

I don't.

I wonder, did she have time to think?

Did she see it coming?

Was she scared or...

Did she just blink her eyes

and there was heaven?

Or just black?

Anyway... that's about it.

Oh.

I am sorry I called you butt face.

GINSBURG: Here's a blanket.

What was that?

GINSBURG: I don't want you to get cold.

The first night I slept on the couch,

Gwyn came out and said that to me.

And you heard it?

GINSBURG: Love you, honey.

(CAWS SOFTLY)

TK: Anyway,
the wedding was on this beach in Montauk

and Mom was the maid of honor,

and, uh, she asked me, she said,

"TK, please don't wander off
while we do the pictures."

But me being me,
of course, I wandered off.

I went to the edge of this pier
and I fell in headfirst.

I was maybe, I don't know, five.

I didn't know how to swim.

I didn't know which way was up.

I was so scared.

And suddenly...

there was my mom.

Heels and all, plunging in after me,

dragging me back to shore.

Her dress was sopping,

it was clinging to her
like this big beige beach towel.

I said, "Mom, I'm, I'm so
sorry I ruined your dress."

And she said,
"Honey, this dress was ruined

before it even landed on the rack."

(LAUGHTER)

Man, I haven't
thought about that in years.

And I probably wouldn't have.

If I didn't come here tonight.

So, um...

thank you for this.

Yeah.

Shh. Let's be quiet.

He likes to go to bed early.

It's gonna be like Christmas
morning for him tomorrow.

Gotta admit, pet store
was not on my bingo card

for the third date.

Is it wrong that I just
wanna wake him up

and show him his toys?

No. I think it's great.

I hope these bite-proof gloves
do the trick.

I had a rubber pair,
he chomped right through 'em.

Yeah, our African Grey
used to do that once in a while

when he was cranky.

Is this really gonna be my life?

CATHERINE: Okay. Owen?

Take it easy. Don't spin out.

I mean, look at all of this stuff.

I mean, I'm gonna die a bird person.

I mean, I-I should talk to my lawyer

to make sure he's
taken care of in my will.

Okay, why don't, why don't
you just take a deep breath

and go say hello to him?

Yeah, you're right, you're right.

Good idea. Good, good idea.

Ginsburg!

Daddy's home.

Huh.