02x09 - Taxi Dance

[bunniefuu]

I can't believe we're
going out to dinner,

And it's not a birthday,
anniversary

Or city-wide black-out!

This is going to be great!

Yeah, you know where I hear
a great place to eat is?

The waverly sub station!

I know the owner and he
might give us a discount.

Yeah, I know the owner,
too, and he won't.

alex, shh!

The owner is right there.

Fine, we'll go out.

That's great, honey.

I'll call the sunshine cab company.

Why do we always call them?

Max, the sunshine cab company
is special to our family.

They own the cab that
alex was born in...

...After your cheap father

Tried to get me to
walk to the hospital.

I offered to push you
in a shopping cart.

see? I was more exciting than you

From the minute I was born.

Some people don't want exciting.

They want smart,
reliable and cpr certified.

I remember when you were born,
too, justin.

It was mid-city hospital,

Room...

You don't remember the
room I was born in?

He was really nervous.

Remember? You'd just bought
that lottery ticket...

Right, the numbers
were - - - - - .

You remember the
lottery ticket numbers

But not the room
that I was born in?

Bad news. Alex's cab
isn't available.

It's retired.

It's headed for the junkyard.

All right!

I outlived a cab. Yeah!

Which is very, very sad.

♪ well you know everything's
gonna be a breeze ♪

♪ that the end will no
doubt justify the means ♪

♪ you could fix any problem
with the slightest ease ♪

♪ yes, please ♪

♪ well you might find out
it'll go to your head ♪

♪ when you write a report
on a book you never read ♪

♪ with the snap of your fingers
you can make your bed ♪

♪ that's what I said ♪

♪ everything is not what it seems ♪

♪ when you can get all you
wanted in your wildest dreams ♪

♪ you might run into trouble
if you go to extremes ♪

♪ because everything
is not what it seems ♪

♪ everything is not what it seems ♪

♪ when you can have what you
want by the simplest of means ♪

♪ be careful not to mess
with the balance of things ♪

♪ because everything is not ♪

♪ what it seems ♪

Your mom's really
upset about cab .

Well, you look upset, too, dad.

Me? I'm not upset.

I'm a man.

Men don't get upset
about silly things

Like the very cab
where their baby girl

Was born is headed
for the junkyard...

Will you please excuse me.

It is pretty terrible
losing pieces of your past.

I've never thrown out
anything I've ever worn.

I incorporate the clothes into
outfits I wear as I get older.

Here's a dress that has a
jumper from my toddler years.

Try and guess where
I've incorporated it.

Well, that's a tough one.

I'm gonna have to go with...

Oh, please don't make
me play this game.

Look, harper,

Everyone's upset,

So maybe we should go down there

And get, like, a souvenir from
cab for my mom and dad.

If you can get the
vinyl upholstery,

I can make them vests.

Vinyl vests?

I don't know, my dad sweats
a lot in the vest area.

Hey! Lookihere, it's alex russo!

The cab baby!

The baby I always talk about?

These chowderheads.

Hard being the smartest
guy in the room.

I know how that song goes, buddy.

Harper, this is my uncle al.

Not my real uncle.

Nice outfit.
Does your mom dress you?

That'll change when you move out.

look at you.

These cheeks are as
chubby as the day

You were born in the
backseat of the cab.

Harper and I came down because
we heard about cab

And we were wondering
if we could get

Some sort of souvenir from it?

My mom and dad were
upset the other night

When they heard about
being junked.

That might be the most
touching thing I've ever heard.

I was being sincere.
Get the kid a keepsake.

Good.

Go!

There.

Now you'll always have
a piece of cab .

And I'll always smell
like canadian rockies.

sorry, that's all that's
gonna be left of cab .

Uncle al, would it be ok

If, um, maybe harper and
I had a moment alone

To say goodbye to cab ?

Yeah. Give us a chance
to go out in the alley

And not cry out there.

Remember, boys,

If it doesn't spill over the eyelid,
it's not tears.

Wow, there's a lot
of crying going on.

Add some door slams
and it's my house.

Harper, I know you hate
it when I get an idea,

But I've got an idea.

Oh, I hate it when you get an idea.

This cab means way too much
to my mom, dad, uncle al

And all those guys to let it get junked.
I have to do something.

Here's something. We could leave
before your idea gets us into trouble.

I'm going to use magic to fix it.

Now go get that toolbox over there.

Oh, you're gonna use
magic on the tools.

No, I'm gonna use magic on the cab.

We'll put the tools near the cab
so people think we worked on it.

But if we do that,
isn't that cheating?

Harper, magic is cheating.

I can't bear to part with
this cab that won't drive.

Do whatever needs doing
to bring it alive.

Hey, what's going on with ?

I fixed it.

How is it possible
that a -year-old girl

Could fix this hunk of junk?

Hey, look at those tools!

And they're near the cab.

Hey, she's right.

Those tools are near the cab.

Of course she fixed it. Aw!

ok, as you guys know,

I went down to mid-city hospital

To see exactly what
room I was born in...

And I got a free gurney!

Ok, which story do you
want to hear first?

The story of me researching
which room I was born in,

Or max's story about his
free hospital gurney?

Let's hear the gurney story first,

Since it's the one we probably
have to get involved in.

What?!

Mom, dad, here's the story.

They were giving this
away and I took it.

pretty amazing story, huh?

When you say they
were giving it away,

Was this gurney parked
next to an ambulance?

Yes! - Uh,
were the lights flashing?

Yes! That's what made me notice it!

Max, just because something's
sitting out on the sidewalk

And nobody's next to it doesn't
mean it's free for you to take.

I wish you would've remembered that

When you brought home that
stinky chair from the alley.

Well, you shouldn't have thrown
it away in the first place.

Uh, guys, sounds like an "after
we go to bed" conversation.

On to my story.

As you guys know, I went d.

Good news.

Alex, I'm talking.

I'm happy to announce
mid-city hospital,

Where I was born, has been
turned into a shopping center

That includes one of
my favorite stores,

The science fun toy activity store.

Yes!

Try and top that!

Cab is fixed.

Yes!

She topped it.

you know what, harper?

It's one of those great days.

It feels so good to do
something nice for somebody.

Then why'd you yell at that guy

Playing guitar in front
of the restaurant?

Singing about losing his girl?

Waa-waa. You're playing guitar
in front of a restaurant.

No wonder she's gone.

Guys, check it out.

I told the people at the
science fun toy activity store

That I was born in it,
they hooked me up.

They got me these
night-vision goggles

And this flashlight that can work

In temperatures up to
degrees fahrenheit.

So you need a
flashlight on the sun?

The surface temperature of the sun

Is , . degrees.

If you want it to hurt,
you gotta be accurate.

tech-noggin, does that
baby have a camera in it?

How 'bout you get a sh*t
of me and the ladies?

Did you just say something?

No. Alex, did you
just say something?

No, I was hoping you did.

what's with the confusion,
tweeners?

It was me, cab .

You used magic to
bring the cab to life.

Alex, I'm new to magic,

With a tng c I'm not
sure if I should scream

Or just run away.

So, I'm going to faint.

Catch me, justin.

Oh!

What was so confusing about,
"catch me, justin?"

Sorry. I'm a little distracted
by the magic talking cab.

Hey, I got distracted
by commander gadget

Letting the cute girl take
a header into the cement.

Oh, thank you.

Relax, justin. It's no big deal.

A lot of times these things
happen to me when I use magic.

We're just not going to
tell anybody about it.

See, harper. This is how it works.

Alex messes something up and
then I gotta fix it for her.

You're not gonna have to
come and fix it for me

Because I have
everything under control.

hey, new york, alex russo
brought me back to life!

Let's celebrate! Garcon,
round of wiper fluid for everyone!

Go ahead, ask for help.

Car alarm. Just the car alarm.

- Don't need it.
- Yeah.

Alex russo, from being
born in my back seat

years ago to
saving my life today,

We're more than friends.
We're family!

I already have all
the family I need.

In fact, I think one
member too many.

You know who we're talking about.

I like the cut of your jib.

Good luck hiding your
giant magic talking cab.

And I know who
you're talking about.

And max is going to be very
disappointed when I tell him.

alex, you saved my life.

I feel like I got that
new car smell again.

I want to pay you back.

How 'bout I give you a
ride to school tomorrow?

I won't put my meter on. Free ride.

You can't turn that down.

This cab knows me.
I can't turn that down.

See, riding in the cab was awesome.

And we're even not that late.

We missed two periods.

Uh, ok, fine. You're late.

This is when I usually get here.

Oh, well.

Hey, alex. Say, harper.

I was thinking you saved my life

And it meant so much more to me
than just a free ride to school.

Do you like tacos?

Stand next to it.
Maybe it will blend in.

Wow. Magic talking
cab in tribeca prep.

Yep, you've got it
all under control.

We can't possibly explain what
this magic cab's doing here.

What's your plan?

I'm thinking of one.

I've got one. I'll see ya in p.E.

Hello, everyone.

I know what you're thinking.

That is one honking big art
project I brought into school.

I'm not an art project.

I'm a talking magic cab.

Or an art project.

I'll stop talking.

I've never heard of alex
russo turning in a project.

Hmm... I wonder where all the
other cab art projects are,

From the cab art class.

hate you.

the words I'm looking
for are "help me."

Ok, fine. Help me.

All right.

A lot of you know my sister as a snarky,
apathetic slacker...

But the truth is, this cab,
along with other cars

We hope you'll encourage
your parents to donate,

Will be used to create an
artificial reef habitat

In the hudson river
for homeless otters.

very nice.

Thank you.

Thank you. I don't
know what happened.

The cab won't leave me alone.

When you bring an
inanimate object to life

It develops an attachment to you.

Wow. Where did you
learn all that from?

From the magical place of
listening to dad when he teaches.

I used to talk like
that like three years a

But I don't anymore.

Gosh! You've got me doing it again!

man, you drive like
I've got four flats.

Shh! You'll wake up
the dispatch guy.

Look, the car is back and
the dispatch guy is asleep.

- The problem is over.
- no, it's not.

I'm the dream you'll
never wake up from.

I've known you since
the day you were born.

Let's chain him up.

I hope you're talking
about snow chains.

I have a better idea.
Why don't we just take out his key?

No, no, no! Not the key.

Don't take out the key.

Wait a minute,

I used a spell to
bring the cab to life,

But you take out the ke?

Yup. Movin' on...

What's wrong, max?

You've hardly touched your dinner.

I miss my gurney.

Well, you did the right
thing by returning it.

And we did the right thing
by telling you to return it.

And here it is...

...By itself...

...With no one pushing it.

It came back?

How?

Well, I...

I didn't feel like
pushing it all the way.

So, I did some magic on
it and brought it to life,

So it could push itself.

don't you know when you
bring an inanimate object

To life it develops
an attachment to you?

you are incredible.

Max russo, we are very
disappointed in you.

Your sister is right.

Which is weird.

Jerry, this isn't about how
right or weird alex is.

This is about max and
his now magical gurney.

And how he's going to finish
his dinner in his room.

Well, I'll see you in p.E.

Wow. That car horn sounds like

It's coming from
outside the terrace.

- Oh...
- Have you heard about

The tribeca prep homeless
otter reef project?

alex! You may have taken my keys,

That's a guy from school.
His name's burt.

He likes me but I don't
think he's getting the hint

That I'm not interested!

Alex, I see what's going on here.

You're bringing your
problems home to discuss

Instead of scheming about them.

Oh, well, that's
very mature of you.

No wonder this boy
likes you so much.

But you should give
him back those keys.

And that's exactly
what I'm going to do.

She is growing up to be
a very fine young woman.

She is unbelievable.

Harper, you're acting like
you're looking at a ufo.

It's just a flying cab. Relax.

hey, alex.
Are those copper gutters?

I'm up here.

Yeah, I know where you are.
You've got to come down

Before people start to notice.

I know. We'll tell everybody
it's a parade balloon.

Where's the rope?

Uh... Right here.

Yeah, it's like very thin,
super strong.

It's the latest thing in parade
balloon rope technologies.

It's good. Check it out.

alex, you've got to listen to me.

I want to protect you from trouble.

No. You've got to listen to me.

You've got to stop talking.
You've got to stop flying.

And thenou've got to get over me.

Wait, hold thi

Rope from greenwald's, help me now.

Climb up there a tie a bough...
Bow... Bough.

Oh, you know what I mean.
Rope, do your thing.

alex!

I'll go see where she went.

oh, would you...

Thank you.

Would you... Thank you.

oh! There you are.

I was worried you might
be having boy trouble.

Uh, nope. All done.
And speaking of boys,

Did you know they're
making parade balloons

More real these days? Try and
remember that if that comes up, ever.

So, uh, how's it going with burt?

No, no. It's none of my business.

No. Yes, it is my business.

Uh, eat. Everything's
under control.

thank goodness my lamp's ok.

Oh, my goodness!

A realistic parade
balloon broke free!

I will not be ignored, alex russo!

Well, not when you do that.

There's a...

Max... Gurney... Alex... Cab!

You know how sometimes
you use magic,

When you're not supposed to,
but for something good,

And it makes people happy?

Do I look happy?

Does anyone look happy?

It's not alex's fault.
It's my fault.

I only wanted to protect alex,

To thank her for
bringing me back to life.

You brought cab to life?

For good reason.

You, dad, and eryone were so upset

That cab was going to be retired.

Uh, I go by burt.

I just wanted it to be ok,
and for it not to beone.

honey,

Just because something is
gone and we're sad about it,

Doesn't mean you should try
do anything to bri it back.

I mean, missing something is part
of what makes it a great memory.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry for charming the cab

And having him crash
into our living room.

I'm rey for my punishment, daddy.

Come he.

Is that a punishment?

No, it's an alex-ment.

Something that should be a
punishment but is a reward.

You get those sometimes, right?

No. No, I don't.