Hey!
What are you doing?
Oh, there's nothing
good on TV,
so I'm going to watch
Alex do homework.
That's a reality show
I've never seen an episode of.
Daddy, see?
Too many distractions.
It's really Justin's fault that
I've fallen behind in science.
Really? I thought
it had something to do
with the missing assignments.
Fourteen?
I thought it was ten.
I told you that
four weeks ago.
This is why you aren't doing
anything over school break,
except take that
science class.
It's ironic that the person
who likes school the least
has to do it the most.
Life is funny like that.
Here, Justin.
This one's for you.
This is from that
essay contest I entered.
"Winner..." Winner, winner!
I won! I won the contest!
I won a trip to the S.S. Tipton
Teen Cruise to Hawaii.
We're going on a cruise!
Teen cruise.
Family members and under.
We're going on a cruise!
Ah! Hold on there,
little girl.
You're not going anywhere
but that science class.
That's what you get
for missing ten assignments.
- It's up to now.
- What?
Clearly, we need
to check every week.
Alex, you're gonna come
to the ship with us
and drop off your brothers.
And maybe seeing all the fun
they're about to have
will make you feel
really bad about yourself.
- Is that good parenting?
- I think it is.
All right.
Oh, my gosh.
Look...
It says here I get a
photo op with London Tipton.
She's beautiful and rich.
And famous for doing
absolutely nothing.
Aren't you kinda known
for doing nothing?
You think I'm doing nothing,
but really I'm planning
something against you.
- That's my popcorn. Come on!
- No.
Hey, Mr. Moseby.
"Teen Cruise to Hawaii?"
Awesome, huh?
If I paint over the word "teen,"
will they go away?
Come on, Mr. Moseby.
It can't be that bad.
I signed up for the class
you're teaching.
Oh, good. I look forward
to matching minds with you.
- Shouldn't be half bad.
- Oh, really?
- You plus you equals all bad.
- OK, zzzt!
We're just saying
goodbye to the boys.
- You don't have to wear a life vest.
- Yes, I do.
We're on water. And if people
were meant to be on water,
we'd be born with these things.
But you have all those swimming
medals from high school.
Honey, why do you think
I was so fast?
I couldn't wait
to get out of the water.
Thank you.
Dude, check it out! There's a
marine paleontology exhibit on board.
They must have known
I was coming.
Was I supposed
to keep an eye on Alex,
- and make sure she didn't sneak away?
- Yes.
When exactly
does that job start?
- Russos? The Russo party.
- Right here. Yes.
Ah, the contest winners.
Welcome to the S.S. Tipton
Teen Cruise to Hawaii.
You know, the
ship's name is "Tipton,"
which has the word "tip" in it.
Which makes me really nervous.
It also has the word
"ton" in it.
As in this ship weighs
, tons.
Oh, my gosh.
How does this thing float?
Magic.
I'm kidding.
There's no such thing
as magic!
The letter said I would get
a photo op with London Tipton.
Justin, don't be disappointed
if she won't talk to you.
Maybe there will be a cardboard
cut-out of her you can meet.
Now, let me tell you about the
wonderful amenities we have on board:
We have an arcade and a hot tub,
a buffet, a basketball court.
Oooh! And a state-of-the-art
marine biology lab,
- where I'll be teaching class.
- There's a school on board?
- Yes.
- Don't tell Alex.
She'll wear us down until
we let her take her class here.
Theresa, we must be strong.
, tons.
Now, I'll take the teens
to their contest-winning cabin.
Is it close to, uh,
London Tipton's room?
No, but it's close to where we store
the cardboard cut-outs of her.
Bye!
OK. Let's find Alex
and get out of here.
Right. Before she figures
out there's a school on board.
Did you guys know
there's a school on board?
- And, there's a -hour pizza
bar. - There's a pizza bar?
Don't get distracted by the
pizza. That's part of her plan.
But pizza's the second
most distracting food,
after ice cream.
I wonder if they
have ice cream on board.
OK, I've lost you.
Alex, even if we said yes,
you're not even packed.
So if I'm packed, I'm good?
"Bags from home meet me here,
take them there
and bring them near."
You packed your bags?
How did you know
you'd be going?
I find that if you keep acting like
something you want is gonna happen,
a lot of times it does.
Listen, if I let you do this, you
have to promise to stay in that class.
And find out if there's
any ice cream in there.
Dad, I promise to stay in class.
What else am I going to do?
Well... Ah! I'm not gonna
give you any ideas.
Oh, my gosh.
We're sinking.
Let's go!
Let's go!
This is the S.S. Tipton
Teen Cruise's best cabin.
This is the ship's infirmary.
Oh, uh, I don't know
what "infirmary" means,
but I'm pretty sure this is
where they treat the sick people.
True, we were over-booked,
but it is one of our
most sanitary cabins.
At least it was.
Enjoy.
Justin, look.
Check it out.
It's one of those arm clocks.
I'm going to go
put it on people
and tell them what time
it is inside their bodies.
Bon jour, brothers!
Surprised to see me?
No. Surprised that you
know two words of French.
Mom and Dad said as long as I take
my science class on board, I can stay.
Mom and Dad also think I got no
sh*t at meeting London Tipton.
And they're probably right.
What would London Tipton
want to do
with someone who could only get on
this ship by entering an ess contest?
The photo op will probably be,
"Hello, I wrote an essay."
"Oh. Hello, I'm
beautiful and rich."
Click! "Wait, my eyes were
closed! Can we... you, busy."
If you want to talk to London
Tipton, just do what I do.
Keep acting like something
you want's gonna happen.
And a lot of times it just does.
I'm on the cruise, right?
Yeah, you may
be on to something.
Well, get out of here.
I'm about to do something
you don't
wanna know about.
- Does it involve me?
- No.
All right.
Hey, I was thinking
while I was in there,
these tights could be a hat.
Why not? See how much fun
this cruise is?
Speaking of fun, I signed you up for
a really cool marine biology course.
Marine biology?
That doesn't sound like fun.
What? You love marine biology.
Remember that whale-watching trip?
- The one when I got seasick? - That
wasn't seasick. That was excited-sick.
I do throw up
when I get excited.
Well, get ready to vomit, because
you're going to marine biology class.
- Thanks, Alex.
- Oh, one more thing though.
You're going to be
Alex Russo when you go.
Well, who are you
gonna be?
I'm gonna be the girl having as much
fun as she can, as fast as she can
until she gets caught.
Someone get this thing off me!
It keeps getting tighter!
Ah, thanks.
So, I hear you're randomly
taking people's blood pressure.
I'm Zack. I'm kind of the one on the
ship who does weird and hilarious stuff.
Well, good for you. I'm the one who
does incredibly cool, serious stuff
that people laugh at
for no reason.
That sounds
like a challenge.
Well, that's where
you're wrong.
It sounds to me like the whole
time you've been talking,
I've been trying to figure out
what you meant by "blood pressure."
Oh, it's on. You and me.
Tonight. Easy Squeezy.
We're drinking super-sized
"everything slushies."
They give you a slush rush.
See if you can handle it.
You're on.
Oh! Excuse me, do you
work in this jewelry store?
Can I see that
in a princess setting?
Jewelry store?
Uh... I don't work here.
I was just wondering...
Where would you like to
go on our second date?
Well, second dates for me
are taking my private jet
to one of my four castles
for fried chicken,
or taking one of my helicopters to
one of my yachts for fried chicken.
I love fried chicken.
Wait a minute. We didn't go out
on a first date. Who are you?
Uh, no, I...
I'm... the paleontologist
in charge of this exhibit.
Yep. Dr... Fossil.
- I'm a doctor.
- Oh, I like doctors.
So, Dr. Fossil, if we were
going on a second date,
and I'm not saying we are,
because I think the number "second"
comes after the number "first,"
but then, I was never really
good with lower case numbers,
where would you take me?
I'd take you to the best
restaurant on this ship.
The Balcony of the Neptune Room?
- That. - Tonight. Eight.
I'll meet you there, Dr. Fossil.
The doctor is in.
- Hi. I'm Alex Russo.
- I'm Cody Martin.
I see you like to get to class
before the teacher, too.
I do. And I'm OK with sitting up front,
now that my self-confidence is up.
People used to make fun of me behind
my back, but now I'm OK with it.
They also find it threatening if you
turn around and say, "I heard that."
Nice to meet you, Alex Russo.
I'm going to remember you.
Ah, you don't have to.
Ah! I need one more for
the tug of w*r. Hm? Anyone?
Chance to humiliate
some boys?
Sure, why not!
And the winner gets two tickets
to the Hannah Montana concert.
Oh my gosh,
I love Hannah Montana.
Well, good for you,
girl I don't know.
I'm Bailey.
What's your name?
I'm... girl you don't know.
And, go!
- We're slipping. We're slipping!
- Spit on the floor!
Rub your shoes in it.
Oh, it's working!
Oh, I get it.
- It gets the dust off your shoes to
give traction... - Less talk, more pull!
Sorry!
Powned!
- What! Eat it.
- Yeah!
- And the winner is Bailey and...
- Girl you don't know.
We won! We're going
to Hannah Montana!
Massive splash,
and I got nothing.
Now, I will need your name so I
can put it on the winners board
- with your picture for everyone to see.
- No, no, no. No names.
No board. We didn't win. We
cheated by spitting on the floor.
- She told me to, Mr. Moseby.
- After all we've been through?
- Can I still go to Hannah Montana?
- Oh!
Not unless you win
the scavenger hunt.
I'm gonna go look for an egg-beater.
There's always an egg-beater.
I will need your name
for the cheaters roster.
My name...
...is...
Ashley... Olsen.
Ashley Olsen, you are the most
honest cheater I've ever met.
Ashley Olsen. I can probably
remember that. Ashley... Oh, no.
Ah, well.
And so I had to go ahead
and operate on him,
even though I only had a Swiss
army Kn*fe and a bowling ball.
Oh, my gosh!
That is so amazing.
You did all that and
you're a teenage doctor?
Nope. I did all that because
I'm a teenage doctor.
You know, there are a lot of people
who make up all kinds of stories
- just to get close to me.
- Really?
Yeah, people lie to me
all the time.
- But, you would never lie to me,
would you, Dr. Fossil? - Oh, uh, no!
- London, there's something
I have to tell you. - Me, too.
Look, I'm just so glad I finally met
someone who can be real around me.
- Now, what were you going to say?
- Nothing.
Just that I was gonna remind you that I'm
a teenage doctor and I really like you.
Well, I really like you, too.
Oh. Text!
- Oh, what a pain. I have to go.
- What?
I really wanna finish
this date, but I can't.
I have to go to the main deck
to greet some poor family
who had to win a contest to
get on the boat, the Russos.
Oh, that's how you
know you're full.
Max! Dude, I'm in trouble.
London Tipton thinks
I'm the rich Dr. Fossil,
and she's on her way here to take
a picture with the poor Russos.
Oh, no. We're poor?
Well then, I guess
I can't afford these.
You're gonna be no help.
Where am I gonna
get a disguise?
- Harper!
- Hi, Justin!
You're good with costumes,
right? I need you to...
Well, I'm not sure I have
that material. Harper?!
What are you doing here?
I'm part of Alex's scheme.
- I need you to be Alex Russo.
- That's also part of Alex's scheme.
- Great.
- There's London Tipton!
You guys must be the Russos.
Max, Justin and Alex.
- London, I know what you're thinking...
- Yeah.
I'm thinking I need to
get this photo op over with,
so I can get back
to Dr. Fossil.
Oh, my gosh! You
look just like him!
And...
...you just met London Tipton.
Have a nice cruise.
That girl is really dumb.
And that's coming from me.
Time! I finished first.
No, I finished first.
This is exactly why I said
we shouldn't drink
from the same cup.
You can't tell
who finished first.
Yeah. Maybe you're right.
I have an idea how
we can settle this.
- Settle what?
- Don't try to confuse me.
Look, I'm gonna b*at you at
luggage cart races tomorrow.
Oh, you're on.
Exactly.
Hey, are we even doing
this right, Ashley?
- Ashley...
- Olsen?
That's it.
Well, if the object
of the game
is to see how many of these
things we can knock overboard,
I think we're winning.
To see the cells
of this lobster,
you'll stain them with tiny
amounts of methylene blue.
- Stains are also how you can tell
me from my brother. Nice one!
Thanks.
Anyway. After that,
you'll prepare the lobster
with a little bit of butter
and tarragon.
How long does it take to
get from the Atlantic Ocean
to the middle of
the Pacific Ocean?
- That's an excellent question,
Alex Russo. - Well, that's me!
It takes a month of constant
sailing at top speed
if you go
through the Panama Canal.
Or you could take the path
Magellan did in
and go around
Cape Horn, but...
- But he d*ed before he got all the
way home. - Knowledge is cool.
- So are dead explorers.
- You're an amazing student, Alex Russo.
Well, that's
Alex Russo for you.
That's me. Alex Russo.
- Isn't making pizza great, Ashley?
- Yes.
I love making my own food.
That's what Ashley...
...Olsen does. Yes!
I gotta write that down.
Alex, I need your help.
OK, well, that's
gonna be hard.
There's no one named Alex here.
Just Bailey and Ashley Olsen.
She taught me to spit.
Well, I already
knew how to spit,
but she made me OK
with doing it in public.
Got it.
Part of the scheme.
Ashley, I've got a problem.
Over here.
OK, Alex,
I got exactly what I wanted...
- ...a date with London Tipton.
- Great!
- Not great. I lied to get her.
- Still great.
No... I got exactly what
I wanted and now it's terrible,
- because she's not so smart.
- What do you mean?
- Max thinks she's dumb.
- Whoa. You gotta dump her.
- I know.
- How are you gonna do it?
- I'm just gonna tell her.
- Can I watch?
- I'm not gonna cry.
- Ah.
- Where's the finish line?
- The hot tub!
Watch out!
Oh my gosh. Bailey?
She's choking!
Dr. Fossil, help her.
- You're a doctor.
- I don't know how to save her.
What kind of a doctor doesn't
know how to save a person?
- Look, I was going to tell you...
- Tell me what?
That you're not
a very smart doctor?
Bailey!
- Bailey, are you all right?
- Yes, thank you.
You just saved her life.
What's your name again?
Ashley Simpson.
You said Olsen.
Yes, Ashley Simpson Olsen.
No, it's not.
It's Alex.
- Alex?
- Yeah, my sister, Alex Russo.
- She's not Alex Russo.
- Harper!
- Ha! That's Alex Russo.
- Harper!
Harper! I got an "A"
on the first quiz.
Wait a minute.
She just called you Harper.
She called you Ashley.
And you called her Alex?
OK, what is your name?!
I'm gonna clear
this up right now.
Her name is Alex Russo.
She's my sister. We... ah!
London, I need to explain
something to you.
OK. That girl, whatever
her real name is, saved Bailey.
And you, Dr. Fossil, did not.
That is all I need to know.
You're a dumb doctor.
And I can't date
someone who's dumb.
No matter how handsome
and smart you are.
You're breaking up with me?
For being dumb?
- Me?
- That's right.
All right.
I am dumb.
Because I thought
that was gonna be hard,
- and you made it real easy.
- Yeah.
You're so dumb, I don't even
know what you're talking about.
I've just gotta
know something.
Would you ever go
out with someone
that worked in a sandwich shop
and wrote stories and essays?
Including one that was good
enough to win him this cruise?
That sounds like Justin Russo.
I should've gone out
with him instead of you.
I wonder where he is?
Sync by fant m
www.addic ed.com
Sycn by Hana.Bean
www.Addic ed.com
What's going on?
Guess what huge star is getting on board our boat?
Ferran Adrià , the head chef of El Bulli?
No. Guess again.
Takeru Kobayashi, five-time world champion hot dog eater?
Wow, you guys are lousy guessers. It's Hannah Montana.
She's taking our boat on the teen cruise to Hawaii.
I wanted to see her perform in Honolulu, but it's sold out.
Well, it just so happens I know Hannah Montana.
She once stayed at the Tipton.
She even ate cake off my brother's shirt.
Does he still have the shirt?
Does he still have the cake?
Cody, if you get me tickets, I'll love you forever.
Forever?
That's a long time.
Consider it done.
Back! International superstar coming through.
Who is it? Who is it?
Right.
Miss. Montana, it is my pleasure to welcome you to the...
I said get back.
Don't touch me.
Kirby!
Oh, I'm sorry, Mr. Moseby, you're so little
I mistook you for one of those chicks.
I was just protecting Hannah.
Protect me!
-Where's Cody? -Down here.
Did you see Hannah?
No, I'd like to see a chiropractor.
So, what do you recommend?
Me... with whipped cream.
Thanks, but I'm already nauseous
from the whole boat rockin' thing.
Zack, you think messing with
a man's botanical rinse is funny?
I think any man who uses a botanical rinse is funny.
Sorry.
Great. Now, I have to go wash, rinse and repeat
and repeat and repeat.
I haven't seen you around. I'm Zack.
And I'm being hauled away.
Did you do that to his hair?
No, I'm being good, remember?
Did you finish all your science homework?
I said I was being good, not boring. That's your job.
And you know what your job's gonna be...
"Thank you, enjoy the movie... thank you, enjoy the movie."
Wow... your brother thinks you're gonna end up
in a dead-end, going-nowhere, minimal wage job?
We have so much in common! Don't we?
Wow! That suitcase sure is roomy.
Yeah, it is. Check this out.
Hello...
That's the same echo I get from my closet back home.
It's so big, it has its own Congressmen.
Really? Do you want it?
All it's gonna cost you is a lunch with a charming,
handsome young man.
Is he in there, too?
No, I was talking about me.
Thank you,
but I've already tried one nut from your family tree.
No, no, no, no, believe me. I'm nothing like my brother.
He thinks he's so cool because he wears clean clothes,
and showers everyday.
And that's why the cat won't lick you...
even when you're covered in chicken liver.
No! You can't meet Hannah Montana.
She's busy... er... writing a song.
Check that. She's eating a salad.
Dang it. Anything she does causes a riot.
You know, when I agreed to come on this teen cruise,
I thought it would be fun,
thought it'd be relaxing.
I just forgot about all the dang...
I got it, I got a picture of Hannah Montana.
...teens.
Yeah, what's the matter with kids today?
Get back.
Hi, Kirby. I'm here to see Hannah Montana.
You and everybody else on this boat, but no can-do.
It's my job to keep that southern bell from getting dinged.
I'm a close personal friend of hers.
That's what they all say. Prove it.
Tell me something about her no one else knows.
She loves knock knock jokes. You wannna see?
-Watch. Knock, knock... -Who's there?
Okey-dokey.
Miss. Montana, your friend Cody is here to see you.
I don't know a Cody. Here's a picture.
But I don't want a picture.
I say we take off our wigs and go out there
and hit the wave pool.
Oh yeah, I'll just come as Hannah
and leave as Miley.
That won't give away anything.
Well, I'm going out there because nobody cares about Lola...
They cared about Lola.
Morning, ladies. Hah, perfect,
just what I need after the stress of
saving those dolphins from the tuna nets.
Just get in... get in... get in... get in...
What are we getting in?
Trouble if you don't zip it.
I'm sick of Justin's attitude so...
I put a little surprise in the hot tub for him.
Alex, that's classic, but you're not supposed to use...
Science? I learned this in class.
Who knew school would ever come in handy?
Oh man, Justin's gonna be so mad. Look,
his face's turning red, his body's blue.
Just stick a few stars and we can
fly him off the back of the boat.
I'm not scared of Justin.
Oh my heavens.
When I find out who did this, I will feed them to the sharks,
except for the heads, so they can watch the whole thing.
Hey I'm scared of.
I know exactly who's gonna be shark-bit.
As do I.
-Alex. Zack? What? -Zack. Alex? What?
This was Alex, I know my sister.
This was Zack, I know my hooligan.
-But... -Look, look, look... this is getting us nowhere.
We can either go out and find who did this
or we can stand here and argue until we are blue in the face.
Might as well. I'm already blue in everywhere else.
Alex!
Zack!
Hi!
Zack, is this your cabin? Let's check it out.
Thank you.
-Wow. -You like my place, huh?
Like it? I can't see it.
Oh that stench's making my eyes tear up.
Blink fast, it helps.
Zack!
I'll go get rid of him.
Okay, you do that. I'm gonna hide or tidy things up, yeah.
Oh, that's disgusting.
-You... -I didn't do it.
-Oh yes you did. -I swear I didn't.
By the way, what is it that I didn't do?
You put blue dye in the hot tub.
Dye... dye? No, I've done soap bubbles, pudding,
teabags, rubber foot, electric eels, but no dye.
How could I have missed dye?
You didn't. I found this right outside your door.
I knew it was you.
-But that's not... -Your butt is confined to this cabin.
You're left to entertain yourself
with whatever is in this room.
I think I can make that work.
London, I need you to call Hannah Montana for me.
Don't you ever mention that name.
She refused for the theme song to
Yay Me, Starring London Tipton on her next album.
Why would you expect Hannah to...
Don't test me, boy.
Look, I told you never to say Hannah Montana.
I can't believe I said it.
This is impossible.
Either I need a softer coconut or a harder straw.
Cody?
Sorry. I couldn't get Bailey tickets.
I guess I'm just gonna have to tell her the truth.
Or you could tell her aliens came down and threatened
to disintegrate the earth if you didn't give them
your tickets to see Hannah in Hawaii.
Something tells me that coconut hit you on the head.
Ok, I've been trying to decide
how to wear my hair to the Hannah concert.
I could go with the funky updo, right, right?
Or half up half down, that's kind of cool, right?
Or... or.. the whole funky rocker mosh pit thing, okay?
Like this, yeah?
Bailey, I know I kind of promised you
I could get you those tickets to Hannah.
I know. Can you believe it?
My guy is getting me tickets to a sold-out concert.
My guy?
Yeah. Unfortunately,
there's been an inter-galactic incident, so...
Enough about your stupid commics.
Bailey's trying to dicide how she should wear her hair
to the concert, which her guy is taking her to.
I know, I'll wear it down.
Now we're gonna find a great outfit to go with my hair.
I'll go check London's trash.
You're so home free with the alien thing.
Now what am I supposed to do?
Look to the Heavens and plead?
I want Hannah Montana tickets to Hawaii.
Want Hannah Montana tickets to Hawaii?
Two tickets to Hannah Montana's concert in Hawaii
for the winner of our Teen Cruise scavenger hunt.
-Did you hear that? -Darn right I did.
I want a robot that makes pancakes.
Ok, well, I'm gonna clear out, okay.
Wait, you can't leave me.
I'll be in solitary confinement.
I'll be forced to dig an escape tunnel,
which will wind up sinking the boat.
You should just confess, you'll feel so much better afterwards.
Maybe get out of your room sooner.
Like me, right now, Ok?
But I didn't do it.
I'd never pull such a lame prank.
What do you mean, lame?
It had amateur written all over it.
Are you calling whoever did this an amateur?
That's it. Lame, amateur,
it was Cody.
I bet he's getting back at me for my brilliant hair prank.
Oh yeah, glue in a brush, real brilliant.
But I need proof, a witness.
Look, I'm gonna go back to the sky deck
and see if anybody saw who did this, all right?
Maybe I'll go with you, I'm a really good interrogator.
Oh, would you...
Hello, London, I brought... I brought you a present.
Dirt...
With seeds and the baby flowers will grow just like our love.
You're odd, but you're dormy. And I like that. Have a seat.
Ok, silver bell, toy train, egg timer...
What idiot puts a sword fish on a scavenger hunt list?
Ok, this scavenger hunt is out of control,
some kids just tried to take
this yellow barrette out of my hair.
(Get it away.)
Thank goodness we already have our tickets,
so we don't have to do anything stupid like this scavenger hunt.
Yeah... but you should probably give us that barrette...
to keep it safe.
Good idea. Thanks.
Yeah, and if you have a rutabaga, you should give us that too.
I might have one in my locker.
Then what are we standing here for?
We have a waxy vegetable to protect.
Okay, you snoop around the hot tub,
and I'll go ask your brother if he saw anything.
No, I'll go ask him because he's my brother and I love him.
You say anything about my P-R-A-N-K
and I will pound you so hard
that you'll be sneezing out of your belly button.
That's gonna be very awkward during allergy season.
Does this have anything to do with whatever she was spelling?
London, I'm not allowed to tell you, but
Y-E-S.
Fine, don't tell me.
I found this test tube outside of Zack's door.
Now this clearly proves that he is to blame
and now he has escaped from his cabin.
Oh, please. Alex probably planted that evidence.
She is an evil genius.
She is an evil genius? No, Zack is an evil...
well... he's not a genius, more of an evil nincompoop.
I'm sorry, ma'am. I swear I didn't see anything.
Look, I didn't even want to see anything.
Ok, we have the rutabaga.
Now all I need to win those tickets
and Bailey's heart is a silver chalice.
Good luck finding that.
Oh yeah, you better run.
-How could you? -How could you?
-My own brother. What? -My own brother. What?
Do they always talk at the same time like that?
Tricky, isn't it?
How could you frame me?
I don't know what you're talking about.
But I need to find a silver chalice before the com...
Attention, Hannah fannas,
the scavenger hunt is now over and we have our winner.
No!
-You! -You!
This is the miscreant who turned you blue.
Hah, no, it's not. It was her.
Justin, Mr. Moseby is our host on this lovely cruise
and you insult him by arguing with him. Come brother.
Wait a minute, I recognise those warn-twisting
manipulations followed by a hasty exit. It was you.
Sure, blame me.
Because it was you.
Looks like I caught ya blue handed.
Told you.
You played me like a violin.
You're sneaky, deceitful, underhanded...
Where have you been all my life?
I'll tell you where she's gonna be...
grounded while we're in Hawaii.
Who's got the blues now? Blue...
Oh, let's just look at the time.
Mr. Moseby.
Isn't there something that you'd like to say to me?
Maybe sonething that rhymes with "I'm Flory"?
First off, let me say that you're incredibly flannoying,
but I am sorry that I accused you of
putting dye in the hot tub.
However, in the process, you confessed to unsolved pranks.
You're so in trouble.
Apology accepted.
OK.
Cody, isn't Hawaii the most beautiful thing you've ever seen?
Second most beautiful.
Bailey, I need to talk to you.
First, I want you to help me pick
which greeting tunes when I meet Hannah Montana.
I could go country... Howdy Hannah...
or sophisticated... How do you do, Miss. Montana...
or Japanese... Konijiwa Hannah sang...
They're all great
except for the fact that we don't have tickets.
I'm sorry, what?
It sounded like you said we don't have tickets.
Look, I'm really sorry, Bailey.
I tried everything to get those tickets for you.
I thought you knew Hannah.
Well, she didn't remember me and Kirby wouldn't let me in
and London couldn't help me,
so I tried to win the scavenger hunt.
Here's your barrette back, by the way.
Then Zack accused me of framing him and...
What was that for?
To get you stop babbling.
I need to babble more often.
And because no one's ever gone through
so much trouble for me.
Thank you.
You're welcome.
Hey guys, want a bite of the birthday cake?
Whose birthday is it?
I don't know, some guy.
Whenever I hear singing, I just go in the room.
Oh, dude. Isn't that Hannah Montana
sunbathing on the port side deck?
Hurry. I hear she's like totally signing autographs.
I am so over this teen cruise.
My cake...
Maybe there's still some after the party.
Thank you, Mr. Moseby. Thanks for clearing out the lobby.
Oh, absolutely. Enjoy the starboard deck.
Is that where they have the wave pool?
-Oh and the rock climbing wall? -And the parasailing?
Oh yeah. It's a month of fun.
Unfortunately, you have about minutes until
they realize you're not sunbathing on the port deck
and start hunting you down like
angry fire ants... Hannah...
Enjoy.
You're... you're... Konijiwa
Bless you.
Hey, now I remember you.
I "cake off" you.
No, that was actually my twin brother.
I was the cute one standing next to him.
Oh and you kept the shirt, my fans are awesome.
Yeah, you're telling me. Remember that one
who sent you like a corn cop carving of yourself?
You got it?
Yeah... and I loved it.
So... um... you guys coming to my show tonight?
We'd love to, but it was all sold out.
You wouldn't happen to know anyone
who could get us tickets, would you?
Oh, I think I can pull some strings.
Here's the tickets... and back stage passes.
Oh, wait, sorry. That's my coupon.
One more stamp and I get a free cupcake.
Thank you, thank you. Arigato.
Yeah, I gotta go, too.
Cody, this is gonna be the best date ever.
-Date? -Oh yeah.
Excuse me a second.
Yes, my six-month plan worked.
-London? -Um?
I've had so much fun with you these last few days
-and there's just one more thing that I need to ask you. -OK.
You're not gonna ask me to marry you, are you?
No, no. I was gonna ask if you wanted a shoe shine.
Oh, then yes.
You know, Max, no man has ever treated me as well as you do.
He's not a man, he's a child.
Well, for now.
So you'll wait for me then?
I can't promise that,
but years from now, when we're in the same grade,
you can sit next to me.
Yes.
I am never gonna wash this cheek again.
But um... sorry, you have to wash those hands.
Sycn by Hana.Bean
www.Addic ed.com
[Moseby over PA] Attent¡on, students.
We have now docked ¡n Hawa¡¡,
home of sugar cane, p¡neapple,
and your cru¡se d¡rector's
favor¡te, Kona coffee.
F¡nely ground, the two pound bag,
let's not be cheap.
Unbel¡evable.
We're stuck on th¡s
stup¡d boat for f¡ve days
and now we can't leave
th¡s stup¡d boat because you
can't f¡nd
your stup¡d l¡p gloss!
lt ¡s not stup¡d.
lt has SPF ,
the heal¡ng power of aloe
and ¡t tastes l¡ke coconut!
l l¡ke coconut.
Here's just an ¡dea...
We just docked ¡n Hawa¡¡,
buy a coconut!
Oh, l¡ke you never forget anyth¡ng.
l don't. l'm a profess¡onal.
l have a checkl¡st.
W¡g, got ¡t.
S¡ngle p¡nk glove, got ¡t.
Mama's lucky anklet...
Don't got ¡t.
Where's my lucky anklet?
Oh, well, maybe l¡ttle m¡ss
''l'm a profess¡onal''
forgot to put ¡t on
because she was too busy
¡nsult¡ng her best fr¡end.
Oh, sweet just¡ce.
L¡lly, ¡t's gotta be
¡n here someplace
- and l'm not gonna stop search¡ng...
- Found ¡t!
Oh, L¡lly, you're a l¡fe saver.
Oh. You thought l meant the anklet.
Mm. Coconut goodness.
L¡lly, you know my mom
gave me that anklet.
- We gotta f¡nd ¡t!
- R¡ght. Sorry. l'm on ¡t.
lt's l¡ke a lucky charm.
L¡ke she's r¡ght there
on stage w¡th me.
[knock¡ng on door]
- [Moseby] Moseby here.
- Oh! Come ¡n.
Ah. M¡ss Montana,
l've cleared the hallway
and the hel¡copter ¡s wa¡t¡ng
to take you to your rehearsal.
Thanks, Mr. Moseby.
Just g¡ve me a few m¡nutes.
Just a few... No, no, no, no...
l hate to rush you,
but the w¡nd from the hel¡copter
¡s wreak¡ng havoc on
the sen¡or c¡t¡zens' hula danc¡ng class.
Grass sk¡rts are fly¡ng everywhere.
lt's not pretty.
L¡lly, we have to f¡nd ¡t.
l know ¡t's ¡mportant,
but we'll f¡nd ¡t when we get back.
l know. lt just doesn't feel r¡ght
not hav¡ng ¡t on.
M¡ley, ¡t's gonna be OK.
lt's just a rehearsal.
Noth¡ng bad's gonna happen.
That was the worst rehearsal ever!
lt wasn't that terr¡ble.
The l¡ght¡ng guy booed.
Maybe he was call¡ng over
to the sound guy,
whose name happened to be Boo.
You know, l¡ke, uh...
''Hey, Boo!''
''Boo!''
Well, unless Boo's last name
¡s You St¡nk, don't th¡nk so.
L¡lly, come on, let's face ¡t.
Everyth¡ng went wrong
because l don't have Mom's anklet.
F¡rst, we know
the anklet's ¡n th¡s room,
so we're go¡ng to f¡nd ¡t.
Maybe ¡t's ¡n the bathroom.
And second, the rehearsal
probably went bad because
you knew you d¡dn't have the anklet
and so you were nervous.
lt's not l¡ke ¡t has mag¡cal powers
and now you're doomed
to a l¡fe of terr¡ble th¡ngs.
[Moseby on PA] Attent¡on passengers,
a student's pet rat
has managed to escape.
/f you happen to see h¡m,
please d¡al n¡ne for housekeep¡ng.
[M¡ley scream¡ng]
ls he b¡g?
You tell me.
[M¡ley] Whoo!
Here we go, everybody!
Come on
You get the l¡mo out front
Oooh
Hottest styles
Every shoe, every color
Yeah, when you're famous
¡t can be k¡nd of fun
/t's really you
but no one ever d¡scovers
Who would have thought
that a g¡rl l¡ke me
Would double as a superstar
Whooo!
You get the best
of both worlds
Ch¡ll ¡t out
Take ¡t slow
Then you rock out the show
You get the best
of both worlds
M¡x ¡t all together
and you know
That ¡t's the best
of both worlds
[laugh¡ng]
Ooh
M¡ley, we've searched
everywhere and all we found
¡s rat footpr¡nts ¡n my makeup.
So gross and yet so cute.
[M¡ley] Well, ¡t's not ¡n the dra¡n.
But l th¡nk Hagr¡d
had th¡s room before us.
The anklet has got to be
¡n here someplace.
See, l was do¡ng my toena¡ls
last n¡ght and ¡t was on.
Then l walked over here
to get a bottle of water,
but somebody had drank them all.
Because ''lt's free, ¡t's free.''
Glug, glug, glug.
My mom says hydrated sk¡n
¡s happy sk¡n.
Thanks to you,
my sk¡n wouldn't know,
glug-glug g¡rl.
See, and then, l went to
my dad's room to get some water.
l had to do
my freshly-pa¡nted toena¡l walk.
Then, l got a bottle from h¡m,
and l came r¡ght back here.
So, l never even left the room.
Wow.
Not hav¡ng Mom's anklet not only
makes me unlucky, ¡t makes me...
Dumb? Stup¡d? ld¡ot¡c?
l was go¡ng to say ''forgetful.''
That was my next one.
Oh, h¡, um...
l'm sorry about the room.
l'm k¡nd of a restless sleeper.
lt's l¡ke M¡ck Jagger all over aga¡n.
Oh, man.
Oh, man!
- Dad!
- Oh! l'm ready! l'm ready!
T¡me to get to that rehearsal.
Daddy, the rehearsal
was an hour ago.
Was l there?
Dad, have you seen Mom's anklet?
Honey, l'm so seas¡ck
l can't see the ¡ns¡de of my eyel¡ds.
''Let's take a cru¡se,
Daddy, ¡t'll be fun.''
Oh, sweet n¡blets, here ¡t comes.
lt's not ¡n my room,
so ¡t has to be ¡n here.
L¡lly?
Can you please help me?
l gotta f¡nd ¡t before
someth¡ng else bad happens.
[fabr¡c r¡pp¡ng]
Oh, come on!
Well, on the plus s¡de, now ¡t matches
that one glove th¡ng you're do¡ng.
Super.
Hey, honey.
D¡d you check your socks?
That's ¡t! l slept ¡n
my socks last n¡ght!
l bet ¡t came off
¡n one of my socks!
- Daddy, thank you.
- Oh!
Oh! lf you d¡dn't smell so funky,
l'd k¡ss you.
Whoa, whoa
- lt's ¡n my sock.
- ln the sheets.
- ln a p¡le.
- On the floor.
Once l get ¡t on aga¡n...
No more bad luck any...
Oh, come on!
Yeah
l d¡dn't know why you d¡dn't
want to go to Hawa¡¡.
But now l get ¡t.
- Th¡s ¡s parad¡se.
- Tell me about ¡t.
l haven't washed a d¡sh
¡n f¡ve days.
Sweet.
Haven't eaten
a sens¡ble meal ¡n three.
- Oh, man.
- And the best part ¡s,
haven't held ¡n le gas
s¡nce they left.
Yeah. That one
l f¡gured out on my own.
- [doorbell r¡ngs]
- One second!
Oh! Can l do ¡t?
- Be my guest.
- Yeah.
- Oh!
- That never gets old.
Let me guess, guys.
Parents out of town?
[both] Oh, yeah.
So cool. S¡gn here.
EXcuse me.
Drop th¡s bad boy r¡ght here.
- Yeah, that's perfect.
- All r¡ght.
- Thanks, man.
- Check you guys later.
Thanks, man.
Whoa! Dude, your dad
ordered someth¡ng from that
Schlummacker Hummacker
Cool Stuff catalogue.
l love that catalogue.
Massage cha¡rs, l¡fe-s¡zed robots,
personal submar¡nes!
And ¡t has the best d¡g¡tal
meat thermometer ¡n the world.
What?
lt takes the guesswork out of gr¡ll¡ng.
- [d¡al¡ng]
- Hey, Dad.
You got a package from
Schlummacker Hummacker.
l'm gonna open ¡t, OK?
Well, why not?
'Cause l'm the one who ordered ¡t
and l want to be
the one to open ¡t.
- lt's a robot, ¡sn't ¡t?
- lt's a robot?
Jackson, l'm not play¡ng
guess¡ng games.
That package better be sealed
when l get home.
OK, f¡ne.
Jackson, what about what your dad sa¡d?
What?
He sa¡d he wanted ¡t sealed
when he gets home.
Well, ¡t w¡ll be.
Ah
Noth¡ng. What about you?
Yeah, me ne¡ther.
But l d¡d f¡nd cents and a half eaten
raspberry almond chocolate.
How'd you know ¡t's raspberry almond?
Lucky guess.
Ah, yes.
Thank you, Lyd¡a.
l'll put th¡s anklet
¡n the lost and found.
And as a reward for your sharp eyes,
the S.S. T¡pton
¡s proud to present you w¡th...
Oh-ho! ...a raspberry almond
p¡llow chocolate.
Eat ¡t w¡th pr¡de,
but on your own t¡me.
Ooh! Pretty, sparkly, sh¡ny.
G¡ve me. G¡ve me. G¡ve me.
l'm sorry, M¡ss T¡pton,
l d¡dn't f¡nd th¡s ¡n your room.
l found ¡t ¡n a passenger's sock.
Hello. My boat, my passengers,
my sh¡ny th¡ng.
- Thank you.
- Oh! OK, London.
Oh, all r¡ght.
l'll hold ¡t for safekeep¡ng
t¡ll the owner shows w¡th
a rece¡pt and two forms of lD.
- [thunder rumbles]
- Ew.
lt looks l¡ke a storm's com¡ng.
Moseby, make ¡t go away.
Oh, of course.
As soon as l put an ¡ron-on patch
on that hole ¡n the ozone layer.
Hello! l thought we went over th¡s.
- Me f¡rst, human¡ty second.
- [groans]
D-R-E-A-M.
Who's Dr. Eam?
M¡ley, look!
London's got your anklet.
Hey, and she's got great sk¡n.
She must dr¡nk a lot of...
Who cares?
Now keep your head down.
The last th¡ng we need
¡s to be recogn¡zed.
[elevator d¡ngs]
Hey, Han... [muffled]
Sorry. But l cannot be mobbed
r¡ght now.
No, l get ¡t.
You wanna spend
a l¡ttle one on one t¡me
w¡th Old ZackDonald.
Here a k¡ss, there a k¡ss,
everywhere a k¡ss k¡ss.
lt's the other one
that's got the g¡rlfr¡end, r¡ght?
For her sake, l hope so.
So, let's say
l go to the dessert buffet
and br¡ng us back
a l¡ttle strawberry ''sh¡rt'' cake.
See what l d¡d there? [laughs]
Zack, you always leave me, uh...
...speechless.
Well, l do have that effect
on the lad¡es.
So, l'll be r¡ght back
and don't worry,
l'll br¡ng back a l¡ttle dessert
for H¡ghl¡ghter Head.
l'm start¡ng to m¡ss those f¡ve days
we were stuck ¡n our room.
- [thunder rumbles]
- Hm. lt looks l¡ke gold.
But just to be sure...
Mm! E¡ghteen karat...
[sp¡tt¡ng]
...w¡th a h¡nt of sock fuzz¡es.
London, h¡.
Hannah! l knew ¡t!
You thought about ¡t
and real¡zed
the Yay Me theme song
¡s your next number one h¡t!
London T¡pton's really great
Really great, really great
What ¡s ¡n the water on th¡s boat?
l don't know, but l hope there's a cure.
l must've had bottles.
London?
That's my anklet.
No, ¡t's called Yay Me.
My Anklet would be a stup¡d t¡tle
s¡nce l never say ¡t ¡n the song.
[mouth¡ng s¡lently]
Yeah, um, London, what l meant was...
- ...that anklet...
- Mm-hm.
...belongs to me.
F¡ne. l'll need to see a rece¡pt
and two forms of lD.
London, l don't have a rece¡pt!
My mom gave that to me
before my very f¡rst concert
and l've worn ¡t every show.
lt's my most spec¡al possess¡on.
- The d¡amonds are fake.
- Ew!
- No!
- [splash¡ng]
What are you so upset about?
l'm the one who had to touch ¡t.
Whoa, whoa, whoa
Ooh, ooh
Are you OK?
No. Now there's noth¡ng
l can do about ¡t.
Unless you're w¡ll¡ng to d¡ve ¡n?
M¡ley, ¡t's gotta be l¡ke feet!
R¡ght. R¡ght.
You wouldn't have to get me
anyth¡ng for my b¡rthday.
- M¡ley.
- Ever.
- M¡ley!
- F¡ne.
- l'm really sorry.
- Thank you.
[thunder rumbles]
You know,
we should probably get ¡n.
lt looks l¡ke that storm's
gett¡ng closer.
Who cares?
What can a stup¡d storm
do to me now?
OK, ser¡ously...
Come on!
They were out of
strawberry ''sh¡rt'' cake,
but l've got pudd¡ng!
Sorry. l don't l¡ke chocolate.
Oh, no worr¡es.
l got van¡lla ¡n th¡s pocket,
tap¡oca ¡n th¡s pocket.
And napk¡ns ¡n the back.
Where'd you go?
Yeah.
Yeah, l'm th¡nk¡ng ¡t could work.
ln what world?
Let's face ¡t, L¡lly.
Ever s¡nce l lost my mom's anklet,
noth¡ng's gone r¡ght.
lt's l¡ke l'm not meant
to do the concert.
Oh, look.
l know how tough
th¡s has been on you.
And that's why l'm tell¡ng you th¡s
as your best fr¡end:
[yell¡ng] You're Hannah Montana!
Snap out of ¡t!
You've never let your fans down
and you're not gonna do ¡t now!
That w¡g has got to come off
some day, s¡ster.
And that day ¡s today!
lt's t¡me for M¡ley Stewart
to show th¡s world what she's got!
Let's rock th¡s ¡sland parad¡se! Whoo!
Or l could get some ha¡r dye.
l'm gonna go w¡th the ha¡r dye.
- But l d¡d l¡ke the speech.
- Not enough to do ¡t.
- L¡lly.
- l'll go get the dye.
Whoa, whoa, yeah
Stup¡d steam, ¡t's not do¡ng anyth¡ng.
[laugh¡ng]
Are you k¡dd¡ng?
Dude, look at your ha¡r!
l wouldn't talk, Napoleon Dynam¡te.
Oh, man!
Dude, th¡s ¡sn't work¡ng.
l was hop¡ng l wouldn't
have to resort to th¡s, but...
...l th¡nk we need a profess¡onal.
Hm...
[all] Hm...
Oh...
[all] Oh...
Ah!
[all] Ah!
So you th¡nk you can do ¡t?
Bl¡ndfolded, ¡n my sleep,
w¡th my tongue.
But my pr¡ce, unl¡ke your comb¡ned lQs,
- ¡s h¡gh.
- How much?
lf ¡t's a b¡g robot,
l get to play w¡th ¡t f¡rst!
- Pfft!
- Deal.
You prom¡sed ¡f ¡t was a robot
l could play w¡th ¡t f¡rst.
Do you want ¡t open or not?
l want ¡t open.
Th¡s better be one of those
''wa¡t for ¡t'' moments.
Whoa!
Good call.
- What ¡s ¡t?
- [beep¡ng]
Well, ¡t's not a robot.
- [beep¡ng]
- What's that beep¡ng?
[beep¡ng, h¡ss¡ng]
Oh!
[phone r¡ng¡ng]
Can e¡ther of you guys
reach my phone?
No!
F¡ne. l th¡nk l can h¡t
the speaker button.
Ow!
Hello?
Hey, how's ¡t go¡ng?
- [all] Good, good...
- Everyth¡ng's good.
So, you guys, uh...
...p¡nned aga¡nst the floor
or smushed up aga¡nst the w¡ndow?
[all] The w¡ndow.
Uh-huh. So, Jackson...
...next t¡me l get a package,
what ya gonna do?
Not open ¡t?
That's my boy.
Hey, don't worry about ¡t.
The deflate button
¡s r¡ght there bes¡de the...
- [stat¡c]
- Dad? Dad!
[mak¡ng stat¡c no¡ses, laugh¡ng]
[boys] No!
That's the most fun l've had
th¡s whole darn cru¡se.
No!
We're never gonna get out of here!
Wa¡t. l th¡nk l can pop ¡t
w¡th my f¡ngerna¡l.
Yeah. Yeah. G¡ve ¡t the f¡ngerna¡l.
[eXplos¡on]
[t¡mer beep¡ng]
[s¡ghs] Thank you.
That was the longest m¡nutes ever.
F¡fteen? l thought you sa¡d
the dye stays on for ?
[screams] Oh, no!
Maybe ¡t'll dry blonde?
And then what, fall out?
L¡lly, how many more s¡gns do l need?
Whoa!
l had to ask.
l mean, Cody, are you sure we should
bother her before the concert?
Please, Ba¡ley, we already have
t¡ckets and backstage passes.
These pupp¡es w¡ll get us ¡nto
some really cool after-party.
Hey, Hannah, babe.
A l¡ttle thank you
for those concert t¡ckets.
There ¡s no concert. l'm sorry.
What?
ls th¡s go¡ng to affect
the after-party?
OK, Ba¡ley, l know
how d¡sappo¡nted you are...
No, l'm not.
lt's a l¡ttle l¡ke the year
everyone forgot my b¡rthday
and l was so sad
l went and slept ¡n the barn
unt¡l a goat started eat¡ng my ha¡r.
[sobb¡ng] But l'm not d¡sappo¡nted.
- [thunder rumbles]
- Hey, Bud.
Dad...
l can't do the concert.
l know.
L¡lly told me about your mama's anklet.
Ever s¡nce l lost ¡t,
noth¡ng's gone r¡ght.
l had the worst rehearsal ever.
l m¡ssed steps, l sang flat...
...forgot words.
Honey, now that stuff
happens to every rock star.
Oh, really?
Does every rock star end up
w¡th a torn up hotel room,
a broken m¡rror, green ha¡r
and a rat on the¡r head?
That'd be cons¡dered a slow n¡ght
on an Ozzy Osbourne tour.
Dad, you don't get ¡t.
Just...
...w¡thout Mom up there
on stage w¡th me...
...l'm gonna blow ¡t.
l know what you mean.
l used to worry about the same th¡ng.
Ra¡s¡ng you k¡ds w¡thout her.
But l d¡d ¡t.
You know how?
'Cause she was w¡th me
every step of the way.
R¡ght ¡n here.
And anklet or no anklet,
¡t's the same th¡ng for you.
She's w¡th you, r¡ght there.
- You really th¡nk so?
- l know so.
Who do you th¡nk always rem¡nded me
to br¡ng the back-up w¡g?
[d¡stant horn blows]
Huh. Look at that.
Turn¡ng out to be a beaut¡ful day
for a concert ¡n Hawa¡¡.
Hey! What are you guys
s¡tt¡ng around here for?
Don't you have t¡ckets to my concert?
And the after-party?
Let's go.
Yes!
Oh, my gosh, Cody, d¡d you do th¡s?
Ba¡ley, look...
...¡f th¡s relat¡onsh¡p
doesn't have honesty,
¡t doesn't have anyth¡ng.
Yes. Yes, l d¡d.
Let's rock, Hawa¡¡!
Why would you rather be
Anywhere else w¡th me
/ tell you man
¡t's all r¡ght here
Wherever we are
Wherever we are
Check out the scenery
We won the lottery
/ tell you, man
/t's all r¡ght here
[woman] Take one.
Th¡rd camera, mark.
That w¡g has got to come off
some day, s¡ster.
And that day ¡s today!
lt's t¡me for M¡ley Stewart
to show th¡s world what she's got!
Let's rock th¡s...
Parad¡se ¡sland?
[woman] Th¡s ¡s take two.
That w¡g has got to come off
some day, s¡ster.
And that day ¡s today!
lt's t¡me for M¡ley Stewart
to show th¡s world what she's got!
Let's rock th¡s ¡sland parad¡se! Whoo!
H¡ Han... [muffled]
Sorry.
But the last th¡ng
l need ¡s to be robbed...
Not ''robbed'' and not ''last th¡ng''.
What are you s¡tt¡ng around for?
Heard you have concert t¡ckets
¡nto the...
[woman] Take two.
Hey. What are you guys
s¡tt¡ng around for? [laughs]
02x25 - Cast-Away (To Another Show)
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Alex and her two brothers Justin and Max come from a long line of wizards and must master their newly learned powers or lose them forever.
Alex and her two brothers Justin and Max come from a long line of wizards and must master their newly learned powers or lose them forever.