11x15 - May Cause a Squeakquel

[bunniefuu]

[Theme music playing]

[Laughs]

♪ ♪

MAN: It's alive!

[Robot chicken clucking]

♪ ♪

[Laughing evilly]

♪ ♪

[Laughs evilly]

[Down-tempo music plays]

♪ ♪

You know, if you like it
you're fat-shaming me.

Ball pit!
Whoo!

Help!
Aah!

[Bagpipes playing]


Aha!
Mojo Jojo is in jail now

but will break out to fight
the Powerpuff Girls again

for you to put in jail again...
No. Wait.

Is that Mojo Jojo's life?
Oh, my God.

Mojo Jojo needs to sit down
for a minute.

Shut up, monkey!
It's not our problem!

But maybe if Townsville
funneled more resources

into rehabilitative justice,

he'd grow from a villain
into a civilian.

All Mojo Jojo wants in life
is a stable home and career,

maybe start a pottery shop
in Santa Fe.

You know, one where all they
sell are turquoise necklaces.

But Mojo Jojo has
no other choice now.

God damn it!
The punitive justice system

never gave him the chance
to grow!

How did we become part
of such a terrible cycle?

[Gasps]
The mayor.

Girls!
Fuzzy Lumpkins is plotting

- to poison the Townsville River!
- You mean the destitute banjo player

forced to live in the forest due
to your city gentrification?!

- Angry-face punch! Ha!
- Ow!

Maybe if you cared about more
than just the Townsville %,

Fuzzy could contribute to society!

Ooh!
Girls! I'm a good guy!

Oh, Mayor.
You're not a good guy.

You're a bootlicker.

NARRATOR:
And so Townsville is saved

from its greatest villain yet, The Man!

Okay.
It's pure adrenaline, Vincent.

You gotta s*ab it
right into her heart.

One, two, three.
Syringe!

[Birds chirping]
Oh, yeah.

I guess feet don't have hearts.
Sorry, buddy.

[Sobs]
She was just... so sexy.

[Surf-rock guitar plays]

So what's the dealie with MJ?

You're difficult to track down,
Spider-Man.

Aah! Nick Fury?
Why did you tranquilize Ned?

It was gonna be
a kick-ass reveal for me.

Look. Maybe he's okay.

Oh, Mr. Fury,
those are his brains!

It's okay!
I've read that humans use

like % of their brains.

Maybe this is the... sh*t.

Maybe this is the part
he doesn't use.

- Lights out, boys.
- Aah!

[g*nsh*t]
Aah!

- Oh, so many brains!
- [MJ gasps]

MJ, no! Mr. Fury!

- Aw, Mr. Fury!
- That wasn't me!

See, this coffee table
shouldn't... Okay.

Uh... Mother[bleep]!

[Groans]

[Laughs]

[Suspenseful music plays]

[Dramatic music plays]

Get over here!
[Grunts]

I don't know if you noticed,

but, uh, when I was
digging around in there,

I think I saw something.

Something?
What, like a lump?

Saying you saw something is, like,

some heavy sh*t
to drop on someone, man.

Let me take another look!

You might want to bite down
on something.

[Grunts]

I'm not really seeing anything.

Maybe the light
might have hit it weird.

Are you kidding? I'm looking
for a real answer, bro.

Okay, okay.
Uh, let me dig a little deeper.

[Grunts]
Slam!

Oh! Ah!
Looks like the tip of my spear

got tangled around your spine
all weird

and made a funky shadow.

Uh, looks like the coast
is clear, buddy!

- Finish him!
- Really?

- Come on. Finish him.
- Mm.

Okay.

Fatality! Scorpion wins.

[Dramatic music plays]

[Grunts]

Did hit me with your butt?

[Voice distorted]
Ow!

- [Normal voice] Ow! My teeth!
- Hi. I'm Nightwing.

Have you ever wished for a
delicious-looking superhero butt

like mine? Make that wish
come true with Nightbutt.

It's the first all-in-one
butt exerciser

that's sure to sculpt, tone,

and train your glutes
to take out brutes.

You'll learn moves like...


Ow!

And, of course...
[Farts]

So tight!

So get your rear in gear
and get the Nightbutt!

Tell 'em d*ck sent ya.
Nightbutt.

[Mid-tempo music plays,
bell chimes]

- Can you read the top line?
- I tawt I taw a puddy tat!

No. That's an "H."

I'm wegally bwind.

...and after I returned
the last Infinity Stone,

I came here to the past
to spend my life with you.

I don't know what that will do
to the timeline,

so I got to be careful.

As long as we're together,
it doesn't matter.

- [Grunts] Boy.
- Okay.

I changed the oil, mowed the lawn,

and repaired the garage door.

Oh, I w-would have helped out.
But you know that timeline.

- [Burps]
- Oh, my God.

- Did you pee in these?
- Yeah.

Couldn't risk the timeline
by walking to the bathroom.

Then how did you get those snacks?

I bounce this fine-china serving
tray off several walls

into the kitchen
as if it's my shield.

It collects all my snacks,
bounces back to my hand.

Watch.
[Glass breaking]

It works
when you're not here.

[Down-tempo music plays]
Steve! You're back!

And I brought you something, Sam.

Your shield!

I sold my shield for snacks,
but this works just as well.

- And it's yours now, Sam.
- Gee. Thanks!

A fine-china serving tray

that looks hastily
glued together.

You know what a guy forgets
about , Sam?

The snacks.
They're terrible.

Hey, do we still have
that vending machine in HQ?

- We do. It actually survived...
- Oh, great!

I'm gonna get
some Sour Patch Kids.

- You want anything?
- I'm good.

Fantastic.
Now watch this drive.

[Birds chirping, glass breaking]

- Are you okay?
- I made a terrible mistake, Sam.

[Dramatic music plays]

Holy [bleep]!

I found a way
to save Moo Moo Farm!

They're paying us -K
just to have some go-karts

whiz around the property
a few times!

That's amazin'!

Should we clear the cows
and gophers from the roads?

Nah! How much trouble
could they cause?

[Up-tempo music plays,
engines revving]

- Aah! Oh, my God!
- Oh, my Lord!

[Video game beeping,
gophers chirping]

Oh, no!
The gophers!

[Engines revving, alarm blaring]

My house!

- My crops!
- I'm-a gonna win!

Come on!
Time for-a Koopa Troopa Beach!

- It's gone! It's all gone!
- Maybe not! Look!

They left
one of those rainbow boxes.

Maybe something inside can help us.

Nellie, no! That question
mark is upside down!

Oh, God! Nellie!

YOUNG MAN: Hey, at least her head's here.
Dad can work with that.

- [Gopher chirping]
- Oh! Nellie!

Oh, dear! My pound has
too many cute animals.

They'll never be adopted.

My alligator farm is broke.
All my alligators are gonna starve!

[Unisono] Did we just solve
each other's problems?

NARRATOR:
And so the alligator farm

set aside space for the pound
to offer animal adoptions,

and the adoption fees went
toward feeding the alligators.

Wait. Did you expect they would

feed the pound animals
to the alligators?

Oh. Wow. My God.

You seem very jaded
and worn down by the world.

Try to take some time each day
to meditate. [Music]

I hate office Christmas parties.

Yeah. Why does Alice
always get so aggressive?

Dilbert, is your d*ck curved
like your tie,

or is your tie curved
like your d*ck?

Now, now.
Leave Dilbert's tie alone.

It is literally the only
interesting thing about him.

It is not!

Lazy, stupid, violent,
evil, scary, genius, necktie.

I see your point.

I'm Hal Bruber, international
t*rror1st. [Crowd gasps]

Which one of you is the boss?

[Laughs] The joke's on you.

This is a socialist collective.

Oh, [bleep] you guys.

I demand to know the
combination to the safe.

Whoa! We have a safe?

Don't ask me. I don't have
any qualifications for this job.

I wouldn't even know
what to put inside a safe.

Nobody knows what we do
at this company.

Hey, Carol, what do we do
at this company?

[Dramatic music plays]
[g*nsh*t]

[Crowd gasps]
Oh, my!

Someone's gonna get written up
for that.

[g*nsh*t]
That's not good.

[g*nshots, crowd shouting]

ALICE: Festive!

[Crowd screams]

Let's make a break for it.
[Glass shatters]

Nah. I want to see
who gets sh*t next.

♪ ♪

[Gasps]
[g*nshots]

Asok was right.

This necktie is literally
all I have going for me.

Hello? I need help!

The t*rrorists are going to
k*ll everyone.

Look, it's not like we get
a special cop bonus

if everyone survives in there.
Do whatever.

♪ ♪

At last!

You're not a t*rror1st at all.
You're just a thief!

It's not stealing if you're
taking back what's yours!

Reveal!

Television and musical
sensation Jim Rash?

I'm Scott Adams, shithead,
creator of the Dilbert comic strip!

And within this box is
all the good will from readers

I've built up after decades!

[g*nshots]

[Dramatic music plays]

What possible use could you
have for reader good will?

The more readers remember
enjoying my comic,

the more they'll tolerate me
when I say things like,

"White men are being erased
from this culture!"

Why would you even want to say
something like that?

Because it's true!
My Dilbert cartoon on UPN

- was canceled because I'm white!
- But it wasn't funny.

It didn't have to be funny!
I'm white!

That used to be all you needed!

I think you'd better check
the box again.

What the... [g*n cocks]
Huh?

Buddy, there's not enough
reader good will in the world

to shield you
from your own wack ass.

- No, Dilbert!
- Sneak att*ck!

Blam!

[Screaming]

[Thud]
[Alarm blaring]

Well, he d*ed power-humping
an authority symbol.

Very white male way to go.
Got to respect that.

g*n-butt!
Who's boring now, assh*le?

And for the record,

[Zipper opens]
...the tie is shaped like my...

♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪

♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk-a-wawk
wawk bawk bawk ♪

♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪

♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk-a-wawk
wawk bawk bawk ♪

♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪

♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk-a-wawk
wawk bawk bawk ♪

- Ba-gawk!
- Bawk.

[Sighs]

[Birds chirping]