05x12 - King for a Night

Episode transcripts for the TV show "The Flintstones". Aired: September 30, 1960 – April 1, 1966.*
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Living in Bedrock, Fred Flintstone works an unsatisfying job, but returns home to his wife Wilma and eventually daughter Pebbles.
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05x12 - King for a Night

Post by bunniefuu »

Yabba-Dabba-Doo!
Ha ha ha!

Barney should see me
in this fake beard.

Come, Flintstone.
There's very little time left.

You must learn
your acceptance speech.

Fred:
acceptance speech?

For when they
hand you the money.

Repeat after me.

The rotskin spotskin

Is motskin
in the plotskin.

Uh, the rotten spot--

[Mumbling]

No, no, no, no.
You sound like a foreigner.

You must roll
the tongue more.

The rotskin plotskin

Is motskin
in the plotskin.

Uh, the rotskin plotskin

Is motskin
in the plotskin.

[Horn blows]

Yabba-Dabba-Doo!

Flintstones,
meet the Flintstones

They're the modern
stone age family

From the town of Bedrock

They're a page
right out of history

Let's ride with the family
down the street

Through the courtesy
of Fred's two feet

When you're
with the Flintstones

Have a yabba-Dabba-Doo time

A dabba-Doo time

We'll have a gay old time

Here, Betty.

How about going
to this show,

"Doris Stone
and Rock Boulder

In Surfing Mothers?"

Okay.

It sounds light
and entertaining.

Anyway, I'm not
in the mood

For one of those
think pictures.

Say, Wilma,
where's my bowling ball?

I just put it down here
a minute ago.

Oh, bamm-Bamm
has it, dear.

[Baby talk]

Bamm-Bamm,

Give me that ball
this instant.

You want to get hurt?

[Baby talk]

Now that's not for you.

Wilma,
i'm surprised at you,

Letting a little kid
like that play

With a heavy thing
like this.

He could have
hurt himself.

I'm sorry, dear.

Well, girls, i'm off.
Wish us luck.

This is one of the most
important matches of the season.

How come you didn't go down
early with Barney, Fred,

For the practice
session?

Well, frankly, Betty,
I don't need it.

Barney needs it badly.

That hook of his has been
wider than a corkscrew.

But my game's
at such a high peak,

Too much practice might
make me go stale.

Ohh!

Well, so long, girls.

Have a good time
at the movie

And don't stay out
too late.

We'll probably be home
before you and Barney are, Fred.

Fine. See ya.

Isn't it funny
how 2 grown men

Can get so wrapped
up in a game?

You'd think their life
depended upon it.

Don't knock it, betty.

At least it keeps them
out of trouble.

[Knocks on door]

That must be
the baby-Sitter.

Come in!

Hello, Mrs. Flintstone.
Hello, Mrs. Rubble.

Wilma:
hi, wednesday.

I'm sorry I'm late,

But there was such a commotion
over at the Rock Towers Hotel,

I just had to stop for a minute
to see what was going on.

A commotion?
What was it?

I don't know exactly,

But this big,
long car drove up

And this important-Looking
man got out,

And he looked
like a king.

A king?

In Bedrock?

What would a king
be doing in Bedrock?

I don't know,
Mrs. Rubble,

But he sure looked
like a king,

And everyone was bowing.

Ooh!
It was so exciting!

[Chuckles]
Oh, wednesday,

Sometimes
I think teenagers

Just have
too much imagination.

Well, we'll be going now.

You sure you can handle
everything, Wednesday?

Oh, don't worry about
a thing, Mrs. Flintstone.

It'll be just like
you were here yourself.

[Giggles]

Good.
Bye, kids.

Bye.

[Baby talk]

[Baby talk]

Betty: we won't be too late.

We're just going
to a movie.

Oh, sure.

Just don't worry
about a thing.

I'm on the job,
you know.

Hi, Tuesday.
This is Wednesday.

Yeah, they're gone.

Oh, sure, we got
a couple of hours easy.

Now where were we?

Oh, yeah,
talking about Cliff.

I am fed up!

You think
this is a big thing?

Well, it isn't.

I don't like being
cooped up in this hotel.

I need to go out
and have some fun.

A little relaxation
once in a while.

All work and no play
makes the king a dull boy.

But think of your
responsibilities, your majesty.

Think of all your subjects
who love you.

Oh, yes?
How do you explain this?

This happens at least
10 times every day.

But, sire--

There is only one thing
i am grateful for.

There isn't a single
good Kn*fe thrower

In my whole kingdom.

But to get back
to what I was saying...

I need a vacation.

But, your majesty,
remember why we're here.

You mean the loot?

Of course!

If all goes well
at the ball tonight,

We'll get the $10 million
loan we need.

Phooey! I will give up
the whole thing

For a few good laughs
and a little excitement.

But, sire, are you forgetting
the payments on the yacht?

And the limousine?

And the new
wall-To-Wall carpeting

In the throne room?

Duck!

You've got to get
that loan, your majesty.

Both of you,
out, out, out!

Out!

Yes, my majesty.

Yes, sire.

Oh, I would love
to get out of here.

Such a beautiful night,

A night made for fun
and laughter.

Of course I shouldn't
miss the ball tonight,

But I am sick
of being king!

I'll get out and mingle
with the peasants,

But first this beard
has got to go.

Ha ha ha!
Ho ho ho!

You still practicing,
Barney?

Yeah, watch this.

I'm starting to control
the hook a little.

Gee, I wonder
where Fred is?

The match is gonna start
in a few minutes.

[Knocks on door]

Time to get dressed,
your majesty.

You think
they finally got him?

Your majesty?

He's gone!

There's a note
on the mirror.

What does it say?

[Reading]

You know something,
as a poet,

He should stick
to being a king.

Look!

He shaved off
his royal beard.

And we're in
a royal mess.

We've not only
lost the king,

We lose our yacht
and our wall-To-Wall carpet.

Come on, we've got
to find him.

Right!

A-Bowlin' we will go

A bowlin' we will go

Hi-Ho, the bowlin' lane

A-Bowlin' i will go

Where shall we
start looking?

[Humming]

There he goes.

He's escaping in
that old peasant car.

Stop, your royal highness!

Please, sire!
Stop! Stop!

You guys talking to me?

Please, your majesty,
be reasonable.

Don't ruin everything

For the sake
of an evening's fun.

Think of your kingdom,
of your subjects.

Yes, sire.

And if that means nothing,
think of us.

That's right.

We're used
to living high.

And if you muff that loan,
we lose everything.

What's the matter
with you guys?

I don't know you,
and you don't know me.

Now get away
from the car, will ya?

I'll be late
for my bowling match.

We'll have to pacify him,
guildenstone.

Forgive us,
your majesty.

[Groggy]
Ooh, my head.

Where am i?
What am i doing here?

Please calm yourself,
your majesty.

Maje-- What's all
this majesty business?

My name is Flintstone,
Fred Flintstone.

I was supposed to be
at the bedrock bowling lanes

10 minutes ago.

You must have
hit him too hard.

You ruined his accent.

Yes, Ican hardly
understand what he says.

Listen, you guys
have made a mistake.

You got me mixed up
with somebody else.

You know, rosencave,
I believe him.

You're right,
but what a resemblance.

Well, so long, boys.
No hard feelings.

Not so fast,
Mr. Flintstone.

We have a proposition
for you.

He's Guildenstone,
I'm Rosencave.

Yes, and we are the prime
ministers of Stonesylvania.

We're here with our
king to get a loan.

But the king
has disappeared,

And without him
we cannot get the loot.

So if you take
his place this evening,

We'll make it
worth your while.

Listen, didn't i tell you
i got a bowling match?

Bowling?

Don't be a fool.

We'll pay you well.

Oh, yeah?
How well?

How does a cool
thousand sound?

A cool thousand?

Make it 2,000.

2,000?

3,000...

but not
a penny more.

3,000.

Heh heh heh!

Anybody want to buy
a bowling ball?

Where could Fred be?

I wonder
if he's having trouble

Finding a parking place.

Let me see now
what I'll do.

First, I'll get
something to eat,

And then--Ho ho!--
I will take in the night life.

Here he comes now.
Hiya, Fred.

I thought you'd
never make it, Fred.

Hey, Fred,
where are you going?

Hey, Fred! Wait!

Holy cowasaurus!
What's wrong with that guy?

That isn't even his car.

He must have
flipped his lid.

Ah, what's that
up ahead?

Drive-In.
Brontoburgers.

This must be where
the peasants eat.

What'll you have, Mac?

I want peasant food.

Bring me what
the peasants eat.

You asked for it.

Chopped dodo hash
a la carte.

Ho ho! What
a quaint-Sounding dish.

One of the local
delicacies, no doubt.

When Fred forgets
a bowling match,

Something really
must be wrong.

Wouldn't you know it?

There he is.
Always thinking of food.

Hey, Fred!

For gosh sake,
what are you doing?

Hey, listen, I don't
know what's wrong,

But I'll
help you, pal.

The first thing we gotta do
is get this car back

To whoever
you stole it from.

I beg your pardon,
peasant.

Hey, Fred,

Why are you using
that phony accent?

Gee, you must be
in real trouble.

Now first of all,
where did you get the car?

Unhand me, you fool.

Don't put your grubby hands
on my royal arm.

Royal arm?
Holy mackerel.

It's worse
than I thought.

He's completely
off his rocker.

Now keep calm,
old buddy.

Let me drive you home.

Let go, you peasant.

Please, Fred, don't
make me get tough with ya.

Here's your order, buddy.

Uhh! Uhh! Uhh!

Never mind
the food, miss.

He's coming home
with me.

That's what you think.

Oh, that poor guy,

Is he in bad shape.

Well, I'll just have
to save him.

There's the car Fred stole.

He must be in there.

[Dance music plays]

Ah, so this is
the folk dancing

In this country.

I love it, love it.
It is so quaint.

[Giggles]

Fred!
Hey, Fred!

What are you doing
in a place like this?

If the bowling team
don't mean anything to ya,

Think of your family.

Uh-Oh! Here comes
that little nut again.

Terribly sorry, madam.
I must be leaving.

But the peasant
who approaches

Is an excellent dancer.
Ha ha ha!

Hey, Fred!
Wait!

What's your hurry?
Let's dance.

Oh, boy.

The things a guy does
for his buddy.

[Giggling]

So this is what
you lowly peasants do

in the evening.

Marvelous,
simply marvelous.

Got you this time,
old pal, old pal.

Oh, no.
Not you again.

Unhand me,
you riffraff.

No, sir.

I'm taking you home,
Freddy boy.

Beautiful!
Beautiful!

The winners of
the waltz contest.

Congratulations.

Gosh!
Hey, Fred, we won.

Very nice,
and it's heavy, too.

Yeah.

Oh, poor Fred.

That guy is really
in a bad way.

Yabba-Dabba-Doo!
Ha ha ha!

Barney should see me
in this fake beard.

Come, Flintstone.
There's very little time left.

You must learn
your acceptance speech.

Fred:
acceptance speech?

For when they
hand you the money.

Repeat after me.

The rotskin spotskin

Is motskin
in the plotskin.

Uh, the rotten spot...

[mumbling]

No, no, no, no.
You sound like a foreigner.

You must roll
the tongue more.

The rotskin plotskin

Is motskin
in the plotskin.

Uh, the rotskin plotskin

Is motskin
in the plotskin.

I think he's got it.

Rotskin plotskin
is motskin in the plotskin.

- Duck!
- Huh?

Gee, what was that?

Oh, nothing.
Just part of being king.

Well, on to the ball...

and the money.

The rotskin spotskin

Is motskin
in the plotskin.

Say, do you think
we have time to stop

In the rock towers
for a cup of coffee, Betty?

Oh, sure.
It was a short movie.

It's early.

The boys won't be home
for another hour.

Maybe we'll get a look
at that king

Wednesday was talking about.

I hope the coffee shop's
still open.

Wilma,
look over there.

Gosh, that's some crowd.

Oh, bellboy, can you tell us
what's going on over there?

Oh, sure.
There's a big ball

in honor of the king
of Stonesylvania.

A real king?

That's right, lady.
As real as they come.

Take a look if you can
get close enough.

Come on, Betty. I've just
got to get a look at him.

Me, too! [Giggles]

Ooh, your majesty,

I've never been
so thrilled.

This is one of
the high points of my life,

And I must tell you,

My husband
has been undecided

about whether to
give you the loan,

But i'm going to
convince him

He should
give you the money

That you asked for.
Ha ha.

What do you say to that,
your majesty?

Eh...the, uh, rotskin spotskin

Is, uh, motskin
in the plotskin.


Hey, Wilma, I know
this sounds silly,

But doesn't that king
look a lot like Fred?

I was thinking
the same thing.

Except for the beard,
I'd swear it was Fred.

Ooh, your majesty,
I wonder...

could you repeat
that beautiful phrase

once again?

Why, certainly.

The rotskin spotskin

Is motskin in the--

Yikes! Wilma!

Fred!

Fred Flintstone,
it is you.

Uh...yeah.

What is the meaning
of this?

What are you doing
in that outfit,

In that beard,

And dancing
with that woman?

What have you got
to say for yourself, Fred?

Uh, the rotskin spotskin
is, uh...

no, no, that won't do it.

Oh, excuse me, madam.
Thanks for the dance.

I--I think i better be going.

Fred?

Fred, come back here
this minute.

Your majesty,
where are you going?

The deal is off.

Your majesty!

After him!

Don't let him
get away!

Oh, boy!
Let's get out of here,

And make it fast.

Yes, your majesty.

Follow that car!

Which way
did he go?

I don't know.

What I wonder is,
where's Barney?

I'm sure he's
mixed up in this somehow.

Put me down,
you lowly knave.

Don't you understand?

I am the king
of Stonesylvania.

Fred, boy, I don't know what's
happened to you tonight,

But just relax.
I'll take you home,

And maybe tomorrow

You'll be your old
self again.

Trust me, Fred.

I'm afraid
there is only one way

To get through
to this peasant.

Ow! Ooh! Ooh! Ooh!

Gee, Fred, I'm
determined to help you,

But if you keep
doing things like that,

You're gonna jeopardize
our friendship.

[Panting]

Well, at least I'm safe
back here at the hotel.

You know,
being a peasant

Isn't all it's
cracked up to be.

Fred Flintstone, you have
some explaining to do.

I wonder how he got rid
of that phony beard

and costume so fast.

What's the meaning
of all this, Fred?

I have a feeling

That explanations
are useless.

To the royal suite
on the doubleski.

Why, of all the--
Follow that car!

Yes, ma'am.

Boy, am I glad to get
that phony beard off.

Hoo-Hoo. I wonder
what a one-Way passage

to china would cost?

Barney! Barney, old pal!

Oh, am I glad
to see you.

What are you doing with
that parking sign?

As if you didn't know.

Got you,
your majesty.

Up, please.

Hey, Fred. Come back here.

Follow that car!

You know, I don't think
this is my day.

Fred, come out and take
your medicine like a man.

I am not Fred.

Ladies, please.
I am just a poor king.

King, huh? Well, come out here
and we'll crown you.

We'll make it 5,000.

I wouldn't do it
for 10.

Wilma!

I thought he was
in there.

How did he
get out here?

Hit now, ask later.

Oh, no!
Let me out of here!

After him, betty!

After him,
guildenstone!

Ah...at last
they are gone.

Oh, no,
the little peasant nut.

Fred, there you are.

Keep away from me.

Come out here, Fred. Please.

It's for your own good,

For Wilma, and Pebbles.

Barney!
Barney, old pal!

Hey, listen,
why did you hit me

down in the lobby?

Ow! Come on, now.

What did I do
to you?

I'm taking you back
to Wilma, Fred.

Wilma?
Oh, no, you don't.

Not until
she's had a chance

To cool off.

Fred! Fred!
Come on out of there!

Barney, there you are.

I knew it. He's mixed up
in this, too.

Huh? Oh, not me,
betty.

I'm just trying
to get Fred.

He's in there.

Don't try and talk
your way out of this,

You, you...

Ow! Ooh! Ooh!
Ooh! Ooh!

Hey, Fred!
Wait for me!

[Door slams]

Where did he go?

He's in there.

But what do you
want him for?

Are you kidding?

That man represents
$10 million to us.

$10 million? Fred?

We are wasting time.
Let's get him.

Oh, no, you don't.

I get him first.
Come on, Betty.

Let's get both
of them.

Oh, one more k-Nock
on the head and--Yii!

What am I doing there?

If that's me,
who am I?

I must be completely
beside myself.

Oh, you must be
the king.

How are you,
your royal majesty?

Fred!

Fred?

There's two freds.

Will the real
Fred Flintstone

Please stand up?

Ha ha ha!

Sure.
This is me.

Our king is back!

Hoorah!
Long live the king!

Oh, Fred.

I guess we made
a terrible mistake,

But--But what
were you doing here

In the first place?

Wilma, I don't even know
how to start to explain,

But I wish you'd
believe one thing--

I did it all for you.

Oh, Fred.

Wasn't it nice of the king

To invite us to the ball
as his guests of honor?

I can't get over it.

Imagine, the Flintstones
and the Rubbles

In the midst of royalty.

Hey, Fred--Heh heh--
How was it

When you were
actually the king?

How did it feel,
boy?

Well, I'll tell you,
Barney,

I'd never trade places
with him.

I'd rather be a king
in my own castle

With Wilma as my queen

Any day in the week.

Ohh...oh, Fred.

Well, there you are, boys--

10 million
beautiful dollars.

Are you satisfied now?

It's beautiful.
And think what it means.

We get to keep the car
and the yacht.

And don't forget
the stove

and the refrigerator.

We owe a little
on them, too.

And we mustn't forget
Flintstone.

He helped us out a lot.

I better give him
what we promised him.

That's right, boys.

Be sure and take care
of Flintstone.

Ah, you know, boys,

It's exciting being
a peasant for a while,

But it's nice to relax

And just be a king.

[Laughing]

Hey, Wilma,

Hey, here comes rosencave
and guildenstone.

I think they're going to pay
the money they promised me.

Oh, Wilma!
What'll you buy with it?

A new car?

A minkasaurus?

I'd put it in the bank
if I was you, Fred.

Keep it for
a rainy day.

There, Flintstone,

Here's the money
we promised you.

Ah, ha ha, gee,
I don't know what to say.

There you are,

A check for a cool 3,000
stonesylvania krupecs.

Stonesylvania krupecs?

That's right.

Solid
as the government itself.

Whoa-Whee! How much is that
in Bedrock money?

Bedrock money?

Well, at the current rate
of exchange,

I'd say about $3.95.

$3.00 and...

95 cents?

That's right.

3.95 in cold, hard cash,

And it's all yours,
Flintstone.

What do you say to that?

Well, gee,

I guess there's only
one thing i can say.

The rotskin spotskin

Motskin in the plotskin.

Flintstones,
meet the Flintstones

They're the modern
stone age family

From the town of bedrock

They're a page
right out of history

Someday, maybe Fred
will win the fight

Then that cat will stay out

For the night

When you're
with the Flintstones

Have a yabba-Dabba-Doo time

A dabba-Doo time

We'll have a gay old time

We'll have a gay old time

Wilma!
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