05x21 - Sheriff for a Day

[bunniefuu]

Barney!

Fred!

When do we draw?

Keep your eye
on me, Barn.

On you?

Looks like this is it,
Mr. Flintstone.

For the last time,
shut up!

[Toot]

Yabba-Dabba-Doo!

Flintstones
meet the Flintstones

They're the modern
stone age family

From the town
of Bedrock

They're a page
right out of history

Let's ride with the family
down the street

Through the courtesy
of Fred's two feet

When you're
with the Flintstones

Have a yabba-Dabba-Doo
time

A dabba-Doo time

We'll have
a gay old time

[Upbeat music]

Whoa, you dang
broncosaurus!

[Wheeee]

Yeow!

Ow! Oof!

[Wheeee]

[Wheeee]

What the--

Sheriff cragg!

Sheriff cragg!

They're out!

They're comin'!

Stop your fussin', man.

You're making
such a breeze

You're like blow
these cards over.

You don't savvy
what I'm sayin'!

They've
been released.

What are you
talking about?

Rockeye Pete,
Slate, and Grate

are out of prison.

The s-S-Slatery Brothers
broke out?

No. They're on parole.

They went to the station

and bought 3 tickets
to Rocky Gulch.

They'll be here
'fore sundown.

10 years ago

Them Slaterys swore
they'd return

And get the sheriff
that put them away.

B-B-But I'm not
that sheriff.

Them big,
strong fellers left

with the last
picture company.

Here.
You be sheriff.

Heck, no. When the Slatery's
swear to get a sheriff

Don't matter to them
which one.

They'll just
keep on sh**t'

Till they find
one of 'em.

Ain't got
much choice, do I?

Don't look that way.

There's 32 people
in this town

Counting on the sheriff
to protect them.

Yes, sir,
time like this

Fella either fights
it out single-Handed

Or runs like
a yellow coward.

You getting your g*n,
sheriff?

No. My suitcase.

Yellow coward like me's
got to be ready to run.

I hate to tell you
this, Fred

But I don't think
this geiger counter works.

Barney, we just haven't hit
the right spot yet.

[Crickety crickety]

Face it, Fred. We're not going
to find any uranium rock.

Well, so what
if we don't?

We're seeing the west.

We're out
in the big country.

Whar men are men.

And the women
are mad at us.

Ha ha ha!

Hey, what they need
is some music.

- Yeah, yeah.
- Come on, pal.

- One more time.
- Okay.

Oh give me a home

Where
the buffaloes roam

And the dear little
dinosaurs play

Here go the range
riders again, Wilma.

How'd we ever get
talked into this?

When Fred came home
with that

Find-It-Yourself
uranium kit

I laughed.

Ha ha ha ha.

I thought
he was kidding.

Ooh, boy.

Some vacation--

1,200 miles
from nowhere.

No movies,
no restaurants

No beauty salons.

And I miss
Bamm-Bamm.

And I miss Pebbles.

[Backfiring]

Now what?

[Backfiring]

No gas. Lucky thing
you filled that emergency can

At the last town.

Fred, uh...

Boy, I'd hate to be stuck
out here without gas.

Fred, uh...

Where is it, Barney?

- You mean the gas can?
- Yeah.

On the lunch counter

with the extra
peanut butter sandwiches.

Good. Well, let's have--
Lunch counter?

That town's
50 miles back!

So this is how
the west was won.

[Panting]

Do me a favor,
will ya, Barney?

Next time you and I
go on a vacation together

Stay home.

Oh, yeah.
I'll be glad.

Now, Fred, it could
happen to anyone.

Look. Here's a town.

Isn't it darling?

A real old-Fashioned
western street.

[Fred reading]

Let's hope the ghosts
have some gas.

Uh-Oh. Sounds like
someone's a-Comin'.

Couldn't be
them Slatery's.

Train ain't due
till sundown.

"Check your g*n
at the door."

Oh, isn't
that cute?

How about this?

They left a prop g*n.

Stick 'em up, pardner.

Careful, Fred.
That may be loaded.

Wilma, I know a toy
when I see one.

Watch.

It's them!

Hey, anybody here?

Okay, rockeye,
you got me.

Cragg!

Fred!

My old
high school pal!

[Thunk]

My old buddy!

[Crash]

How are you, chum?

Fair to middlin', pard.

Doing okay?

[Whump]

Can't complain.

[Crash]

Let's renew
old acquaintances.

Come on,
you old coyote.

Oof!

[Crash]

Wilma:
Fred, what are you doing?

Just met an old
friend.

"Rough-And-Tumble Fred"
we used to call him.

He's pretty handy
with sh**t' irons, ain't he?

Oh, not really.

Come on, Fred.

Let's talk
about old times.

Great. But first tell me,
what are you doing here?

[Playing h*nky-Tonk]

I got myself a rope act,
joined the rodeo

And wound up here
as sheriff.

A real live sheriff.
Imagine.

Didn't really
want the job

But after I captured

Them 20 desperate
criminals single-Handed

Folks just forced it on me.

Oh, that's the bravest
thing I ever heard.

Big deal. Come on,
let's get the gas.

Yeah, he always was
a big loudmouth.

How about you,
Fred?

Bet you had yourself

Some real rootin'-Tootin' times.

Well, now that
you mention it

I've had
a few adventures, yes.

So, there I was

Just me and the five
desperadoes.

Here we go again,
Wilma.

They were comin' at me
all at once.

Luckily, I learned this
trick from an old indian

On the reservation.

Luckily, he learned this story

From an old western
on television.

They went this-a-way,
so I went that-a-way.

Wap! Zappo!

Pow! Pow!

Well, I think we got
ourselves a new sheriff.

Suppose he don't
want to stay?

He'll have to.

My gas pump
just broke down.

Get it?

Yeah.

Then I grabbed
my empty g*n

and bluffed them.

Watch it, buddy.
Watch it.

Fred, ol' horse

Out west, we have
a custom--

Man
shows he's brave

We make him sheriff
for a day.

Come on, Fred.
We got to get going.

Me, sheriff?

For a day.

Don't be dumb, Fred.
You don't know anything about--

Make you a deputy,
Mr. Rubble.

A deputy?

[Imitating chester]
Oh, Mr. Flintstone

I'm your new deputy.

How long to Rocky Gulch,
brother Rockeye?

200 miles,
brother Slate

Afore we blast
this here sheriff.

And so, by the power
invested in me

I hereby appoint you

Sheriff of Rocky Gulch
for a day.

I do.

Ya-Hoo! Hooray!
Yippee!

[Sniffle]

[Crying]

Wilma, what's
the matter?

I can't help it.

I always cry at weddings
and swearings-in.

I sure do want to thank you
fellers for the honor.

Me and my deputy
will do our best to, uh...

say, what do we do?

Not a thing, old buddy.

Just enjoy yourself.
Meet the folks.

This here's digger stone,
our local undertaker.

Oh, you're measuring me
for my sheriff's suit.

Uh-H-H...undertaker?

Goody.

He'll take
our king-Size model.

I'll be here
whenever I'm needed.

Uh, Mr. Cragg

This being sheriff for a day
is all in fun, isn't it?

There isn't any danger
involved, is there?

Danger?

A quiet town like this--
Not likely, ma'am.

[g*nshots]

Barney, put down
that g*n.

Sorry. I didn't know
it was loaded.

[Imitating chester] Hey, Mr.
Flintstone, have you noticed

That everyone around here
seems scared of something?

Heh heh heh heh.

I don't know
about anyone else

But I'm scared.

- You are? Why?
- Why else?

The girls have gone shopping.
Ha ha ha!

Yeah.
Heh heh heh heh.

Come on.
Let's get something to eat.

Over to kitty's place.

Gee, I hope kitty can cook,
mr. Flintstone.

Heh heh heh!

"Last chance
trading post."

Golly, just like
in the movies.

Yes'm.
Help you ladies?

Why, yes.

Radio: we interrupt this broadcast
for a special news bulletin.

The famous
Slatery brothers

Were released from
Alcarock prison today.

Oh, no!

Old-Timers will remember
the Slatery's

As the notorious--

Excuse me.

Got to close
the window

Lock the doors,
hide the safe.

What's happening?

I don't know.

Isn't this where
the sheriffs' wives

Come to buy
their clothes?

You're
the sheriff's wife?

Well, I, uh...

here's the entire stock
of ready-To-Wear

For sheriffs' wives,
ma'am. Help yourself.

But every single thing here
is black.

Yes, ma'am.
It's the way of the west.

Miss kitty, you sure set
a mighty fine table.

[Imitating chester]
Yeah, but what do you reckon

All this is going to cost?

Cost you?
Why, this is on the house.

It's the least I can do
considering...

considering what,
ma'am?

Considering that you two
wonderful, brave heroes

are going to stand up
and face the Sla--

Kitty: I declare!

Don't you know better
than to...

[whispering]

You haven't told them?

Told us what, Fred?

That's what
I want to know.

Count on me, honey.

I'll see that
they hang around.

Hang around what?

Huh? Hang who?

Relax, boys

And sashay over
to the rockbox.

Time for a little dancin'
western-Style.

I hate cowboy music.

[Dong]

Now you
put your foot

When you do-Si-Do

And I hug you,
and around we go

This may be dancin'
western-Style

But if by chance
your wife comes by

It'll be m*rder
Wilma-Style

Ha ha ha!

Do-Si do-Si do-Si-Do

Oh, do-Si do-Si
do-Si do-Do--

[Crash]

I can explain.

Never mind. Betty and I
have been talking.

We want to get out of here
if we have to walk.

Girls, kitty was just
being friendly, western-Style.

It's more than that, Fred.

There's something strange
going on here.

Can't you smell it?

[Sniff sniff]

- I can, Wilma.
Fred: - Well, I don't.

You don't feel
anything strange?

No. I intend to stay here
and enjoy being sheriff.

Okay, but
if nothing's wrong

Why is sheriff cragg
sneaking out of town

With his suitcase?

Where you going, Cragg?

Oh, uh, Fred...

just taking my clothes
to the laundro-Rock.

Ha ha. Oh, boy.

Are you guys
suspicious.

He was just taking his clothes
to the laundro-Rock.

In a suitcase?

How long till we blast the
sheriff, brother Slate?

Rocky Gulch is the next town,
brother Rockeye.

Hyah! Hyah! Hyah!

Boy, a free guided tour
of ghost town.

This is what I call
friendly.

This is what I call
suspicious.

We think Cragg and
his friends

are deliberately trying
to keep us here.

That's ridiculous!

You'd think they were
expecting some bad guys.

Yeah, to come into town
and blast us. Ridiculous.

Ha ha!

Next stop, folks--

Digger stone's
old west wax museum

Straight ahead.

Welcome.

Welcome,
my friends.

Gee, what
a spooky place.

Yes, isn't it?

Now observe to my right.

Masterpieces
embalmed in wax.

The late red boulder.

60 notches
on his six-sh**t

Till he met up with chief
rain on the rocks.

And on his slab

Old Tombstone Mcbluff

Famous dodge 'em city
lawman.

May he rest.

Do you run this?

I thought you were
the local undertaker.

Oh, I am. I am.

This is my sideline.

My regular business
has been slow lately.

Could pick up
at any time, though.

"The Slatery Brothers."

Mean looking bunch.

Sure hate to run into them
on a dark night.

Don't worry.
It won't be dark.

What?

I, uh, said let's hurry
and get to the park.

The park?

Our old west
amusement park.

You wouldn't want to leave
town without seeing that.

Ha ha ha!

Care for a brontosteerus
pony ride, sheriff?

Well, not today, thanks.
I, uh--

Come on, sheriff.
Give you a free ride.

Well, actually,
I'd rather--

Figured the sheriff
of the day

Would want his picture took
on one of those.

Yeah! Always put them
in the local paper.

Oh, in the paper, huh?

Well, glad to oblige.

Oh, and better
give me a bigger mount

A little more spirited,
if you know what I mean.

You just climb up here.

Then just climb down
on k*ller's back.

k*ller?

That's what
the man said.

Yeah, yeah,
I got ears.

Steady, k*ller.
Steady, boy.

[Neighing]

Way to go!

Yeow!

Fred!

Ride 'im, Freddy boy!

[Snorting]

Hey, here comes Fred.

And there he goes.

Hold it.

Sheriff of the day
in repose.

Heh heh heh!

Care for a little
target practice, sheriff?

Don't mind
if'n I do.

Be my guest.

Watch this,
Barney boy.

Yes, sir,
Mr. Flintstone, sir.

I missed.

Like heck you did.

Why, he can't outshoot
them Slatery's.

Got to admit.
He's a terrible sh*t.

He can't help us
either.

I'm getting out
of this town.

What's he
running from?

That's his business.

Mine is looking up.

Ha ha ha!

Boy, it sure got quiet
all of a sudden.

Yeah, I was just
noticing that.

Fred, look over there.

It's sheriff cragg...

and that guy ebb.

Hurry up, Ebb.

I'm hurrying!
I'm hurrying!

Something's
going on.

You can say
that again.

- Okay. Something's going on.
- Oh, shut up!

Step on it, Cragg!
It's almost sundown.

I know. We got to get
out of here afore sundown.

What's with
this sundown business?

Let's see if we can find out
anything at the barbershop.

I'm with you, sheriff.

Heh heh heh!

The barber's
still there.

Play it cool.

Mouth shut.
Ears open.

[As chester]
yes, sir.

Yes, sir,
mr. Flintstone.

Will you
cut that out?

Evening, barber.

What? What are you
doing here?

Me and my deputy came
for a shave and a haircut.

But it's
almost sundown.

Uh, something special
happening at sundown?

Something we should
know about?

Why, uh,
sit down, fellers.

There's always time
for a close shave.

Brace yourselves, gents.

Yeow!

Next!

A lawman's got to be
able to take it, deputy.

Yabba-Dabba-Doo!

You just relax.

Let those old pores
open up.

Hey, came back
to warn you.

Clear out!

Shush! Shush!

Come on, you don't want to be
around when those Slatery's

- Come gunning for a sheriff.
- Quiet!

Sure feel for anybody having a
sh**t with the Slatery's.

He said he could sh**t.

That's why
we made him sheriff.

Come on!

Well, now we know.

Yeah, Barn,
now we know.

Oh, boy,
me and my big mouth.

I just knew there was something
wrong. I just knew it.

Hurry up,
will you, Fred?

Come on, Fred.
The train is in.

Don't worry, Barney.

The Slatery brothers won't
mistake Fred for a sheriff now.

Remember,
this was Wilma's idea.

Yeah, good disguise.

If he wasn't so homely

He could pass
for your mother.

Oh, is that so?

Please, Fred,
no mother-in-law jokes now.

We'll all stroll
out of town casually

Right under their noses.

No, I won't buy it.

Okay, so you want to get
sh*t full of holes.

No, sir, I am not
running away.

Fred!

I've sh*t off my mouth
once too often.

Now I'm going to stay
and face it.

Oh, please, Fred,
don't be a hero now.

I love you as a coward.

Sorry, Wilma.
I accepted this badge

And I'm going
to live up to it.

- Fred!
- Boy, is he brave.

That's the stuff
legends are made from.

Also widows.

[Sobbing]

Fred, come back!

Sorry, Wilma. I've got
to go through with it.

It's the way
of the west.

[Sobbing]

Barney, where
are you going?

I got to join my buddy.
Who knows...

maybe they'll write
a folk song about us.

Hey, Mr. Flintstone,
wait for me!

Oh, shut up!

Here they come, Barney.

Are you ready to fight?

No, but I'm ready
to faint.

Oh, Wilma. I'm scared.

Me, too.

I wish this was
a bad dream.

Better yet,
a bad movie.

Then the cavalry would come
charging over the hill

and rescue them.

[Bugle sounding charge]

Wilma, do you hear
what I hear?

I sure do.

And, look, here they come.

What's with the bugle,
brother Rockeye?

Search me,
brother Slate.

We'll take care of
hot lips on the bugle

After we bury
the sheriff.

Barney!

Fred!

When do we draw?

Keep your eye
on me, Barn.

On you?

That's not
the cavalry.

Pinch me, Betty.

I think it's
the Cartrocks.

The Cartrocks?

[Playing bugle]

[As chester] Looks like this
is it, Mr. Flintstone.

For the last time,
shut up!

[Bugle sounding charge]

Hey! Hey, look, Fred!

It's those tv stars--
The Cartrocks.

The cartrocks?

Reckon we got here
just in time, pa.

Gee, fellas, how did you know
we needed help?

We watch your TV show,
Mr. Flintstone.

We always help out.

It's the way
of the western.

Ooh!

Ooh! Those wonderful,
wonderful men!

How can we ever thank you
for rescuing our husbands?

Oh, they didn't
really need us.

No, sir.

Any fellas brave enough
to stand up to the Slatery's

Could've taken them
without our help. Right, pa?

Grr!

Betty: We're so proud,
Barney.

Ditto, Fred, dear.

And you're all
so brave.

Shucks, madam.

We just stepped in
for the exercise.

Things been a little dead
around the Rockarosa spread.

Before you go, could we
have your autographs?

And for Bamm-Bamm
and Pebbles, too?

Hee hee hee!

It's my pleasure, ma'am.

Mine, too,
right, pa?

Afternoon, all!

Goodbye!
We'll be looking at you.

So long!

We'll be watching
your show, too!

[Playing charge]

Aw, shucks.

Just my bad luck.

Another happy ending.

Ha ha ha!

And there's Fred in one
of his better moments

as sheriff of the day.

[Arr arr arr]

[Honk honk honk]

Wilma, you
slipped that in.

Ha ha ha!

There's Fred in one
of his better moments

as sheriff of the day.

And there's
his cute little deputy.

Boy, that was some
adventure we had.

Yes, sir. And speaking
of adventure...

where did that come from?

I did a little
slipping in of my own.

There was this ad
in the paper, Wilma.

Oh, no!

For 10 bucks, you can
buy a do-It-Yourself

Deep sea
treasure hunting kit.

Sounds great,
Fred.

No, Barney.

They send you a map,
rent you a boat...

and give you samples

And a chest to put
your gold in.

No!

And you can buy scuba
equipment at a discount.

No, no, no!

No, no, no!

Ha ha ha!

Flintstones
meet the Flintstones

They're the modern
stone age family

From the town of Bedrock

They're a page
right out of history

Someday maybe Fred
will win the fight

Then that cat will
stay out for the night

When you're
with the Flintstones

Have a yabba-Dabba-Doo time

A dabba-Doo time

We'll have a gay old time

We'll have a gay old time

Wilma!