03x10 - Positive Alex

[bunniefuu]

I have big news,
everybody.

Anything about Alien Language
League is neither big nor news,

so why don't we just
start over and say,

"Hey, everybody, I have
something really boring to say."

As part of my quest
to experience

everything possible
during my senior year...

Max, hit the little
"record" button there...

[clears throat]

I have joined
the basketball team.

Big news, not boring!

He is the first member of
the Alien Language League

to ever make
an organized sports team.

Try and make fun of that!

You just did.

If you want that thing to pop,
stay where the money is.

- Max, come on!
- What? Oh.

Honey, are you sure
you made the team?

Yeah. Um, what did
the coach say?

'Cause sometimes "thank you"
really means "you can go now."

Yeah, I made the team.

- They only cut one guy.
- But I'm cool with it.

They want to keep me
on the yell squad

where I can make a larger
contribution to team morale.

Coach's words,
not mine.

Alex, you're
a cheerleader now.

We should come up
with a cheer for Justin.

Oh, my gosh, yes!
Let's go. Yeah!

- Give me an "R"!
- R!

- Give me a "U"!
- U!

Oh, she's gonna spell "Russo"!

Give me a...
"Kidding me?!"

- Kidding me!
- Hey!

Don't worry, Justin.
First awesome moment

of your senior year video
has been... recorded.

That's it. We're hiring someone
else to play her in the video.

[cheering and yelling]

Ready? OK!

One cent, two cents,
three cents, a dollar!

- All for the Turkeys...
- Stand up and wobble!

Did Alex just say "wobble"?

- Let's do it.
- OK.

- We're wobbling!
- Whoa-ho-ho! Hey!

It's not "wobble",
it's "gobble".

Ooh, makin' fun
of the mascot. Not cool.

You're right.
We're ashamed.

But we didn't know. I mean,
this is our first game. Our...

[playing up-tempo music]

Ready? OK!

Come on, crowd!
Yell real loud!

- Let's go Turkeys!
- [Alex] Let's eat turkeys!

[laughs] See
what I did there?

I was supposed
to say, "Go Turkeys"

but I said "eat."

That's just great. I gave
a megaphone to a mega-mouth!

Ms. Russo, the role
of the cheerleader,

much like that
of the rodeo clown,

is to keep the crowd engaged during
dangerous, dangerous activities,

not to mock them.

Oh, no, Mr. Laritate,
I'm not mocking the crowd.

No, I'm mocking the team.

Where do you get the idea
that all of this is funny?

So, who are you taking
to the homecoming dance?

My TV. Guess what
I'm wearing? My couch.

Alex, all the cheerleaders
are required to go.

It's all we've been
talking about at practice.

That, and how on Earth
you made the squad.

Gobble, gobble, gobble!

Well, if I have to go,
I mean, how about George?

- He's kinda cute.
- [music stops]

- You like the conductor of the pep band?
- [ball through basket]

Score, score!
We want more!

He's the conductor?

I thought he was just pointing
at people and making fun of them.

"You have no talent.
You look ridiculous."

Ah, well,
he's still cute.

Hi, George!

Hi...
Hi, Mom, Dad.

Waving at your parents?
Good cover.

You know what also helps
if people are ignoring you?

Just a generic thumbs-up
and a salute.

He's not ignoring me,
he's playing games.

Game over.

Dribble it, pass it!
We want a basket!

Hey, Mom, Dad, I have another
really funny cheer for you guys.

Listen, we're making it look
like we're reprimanding you,

for the sake
of the other parents...

- But we really love your cheers.
- Yeah.

Well, I wonder if anyone else
would like to hear it.

Oh, hey, you, you might
get a kick out of this.

Ready?

Dribble it, pass it,
We want a casket.

- What'd you think?
- I'm sorry, I'm a little busy here.

Oh, yeah, no, me too,
I'm cheerleading.

I'm Alex Russo. You
probably know me, I'm your...

[playing up-tempo music]

Honey, it's not personal.
He does it to everyone.

[buzzer sounds]

Here you go, guys. Nice pick,
nice pick. Way to roll.

Good screen setting and way to play the
perimeter, guys. The perimeter's key.

Did you get that?

What? Did I get what?

I handed water
to our leading scorer.

I saw that!

Great assist, Justin,
great assist.

I don't understand
this game.

Max, this video is boring. All
you got is me sitting on the bench.

That's all you did, Justin.

Don't worry, honey, listen,

you did a great job
at the end of the bench.

That's how we knew where the team
stopped and the audience started.

Hey, is that
from today's game?

All right, Alex, go ahead
and make your jokes

about me getting bench butt from
sitting on the bench all game.

All right, Alex,
I'm recording.

Do some of your
bench butt jokes.

Give me that.

George ignored me
the whole game,

but I really think
he was checking me out.

Hey, wait!

He talked
to Mom and Dad.

It looks like he's asking
permission to take you to the dance.

Um, I'm sorry, honey.

We thought your cheers
were hysterical

but, um, he didn't.

Well, what did he say?

Well, he said they were, um...
How do I put this nicely?

Annoying.

See? He wanted it
to get back to me

so that I'd think
he doesn't like me,

but that means
he likes me even more.

It is so obvious!
[scoffs]

He is like an elf
to my flame.

Don't you mean
like a moth to your flame?

Nope. I don't like moths.
They fly like they're broken.

Hi, George! Great job
leading the band at the game.

Yeah, OK, Alex,
whatever.

And there it is.

Acting like you don't
appreciate a compliment from me.

Come on, George,
let's just cut to the chase.

There's a homecoming dance coming up
and we might as well just go together.

Nah, I don't think so.

[chuckles] I see.

More games, I get it.

Well, here's a game for you.

I'm gonna pretend that I don't like
you because I really do like you.

Now you know.
Game over.

Look, Alex,
I see you around

always acting like you're
too cool to enjoy anything.

Ah, so you have
noticed me.

Yeah, you're a cheerleader, but
you're all negative about it.

You're more like, uh,
like a boo-leader.

Wait!

Wait, wait.
Harper, Harper,

tell George that I am not
that negative about everything.

Are you asking me to lie to a
fellow member of the pep community?

Thanks, Harper.

[sighs] Come on, you guys.
OK, yes, fine.

I may have not been that
up with people in the past,

but I can cheerlead
for real

because being a positive,
supportive, upbeat person

is what makes the world go
round and that's who I am!

[whispers] Shh!
It's Scare People Wednesday.

[clears throat]

Boo!

You're not gonna scare anybody
with your stupid videos.

Oh, is it
Stupid Wednesday again?

Maybe we should've tried it
on someone easier.

- Yeah. Oh, it's that skinny kid.
- [gasps]

There's no way you're going
to the dance with me, is there?

I'm walking away.
You're just mean.

Well, two negatives
make a positive.

- And who's being negative now?
- Still you.

Oh, you weren't
really asking.

Well, it's Scare
People Wednesday.

Boo! [screaming]

Look, Alex, George is a Happy.
You're a Maddy.

Happies and Maddies
just don't get along.

Well, I get along with you
and you're a Happy.

Oh, dear, only on the
outside. That's why we work.

If I'm gonna get George
to take me to the dance,

I'm gonna have to be
more positive

and there's only one way
I'm gonna do that.

A complete change
in perspective?

[mocking chuckle]
Oh, you're so cute.

You think people
can change. No.

I'm gonna need a spell.

Let's see... Ah!
And here it is.

This is a magical marker.

Oh, Alex, I can do that.
This is a magical fish.

This is a magical spoon.
This is a magical spider...

- Oh! It's a real spider!
- [hisses]

Harper, this is
a magical marker.

All I have to do is write,
"be positive" on my arm.

"Positive."

[marker clatters]

Oh, Harper, you're such a wonderful
person who I'm lucky to have as a friend.

Wait a minute,
are you pretending?

How would you feel if I made
you a visor made of bread?

[gasps] With a matching
bagel purse?

Mom, I don't understand
why I'm sh**ting this.

I mean, I've already got
Justin sitting on the bench.

Yeah, but you don't have
Justin sitting on the bench

while I'm trying
to get his attention.

Hi, sweetie.

Hey, check it out. There's some guy
trying to eat popcorn off the floor.

Dad.

What? Five second rule,
it's still good.

Um, there's a hair
on this one.

Is there a rule on that?

If you have to ask if there's
a rule, there's probably a rule.

- All right, Turkeys!
- [gobbling]

- [cheering]
- Turkeys number one!

Yeah!

Go Turkeys!

Nice spirit, Alex.
George is gonna love this.

Ready? OK!

We are Tribeca Turkeys,
feathered and blue!

The mighty, mighty Turkeys will
b*at the stuffing out of you!

- Whoo!
- Go Turkeys!

[girl] Come on!
Come on, Turkeys!

[overlapping cheers]

Whoa-ho-ho-ho-ho, Nelly!

It looks like
I've broke a wild mustang

and turned you into a pleasant,
yet spirited, turkey.

Spirit!

Yeah!

There's not a student
I can't get through to.

Mr. Laritate,
he's really great.

I even think
he's lost some weight.

Thanks.

I can't find the key
to my snack drawer.

Wow! Alex,
you're totally into it

and you're being nice
to people?

- I was wrong about you.
- Oh, that's OK. I'm not the type to hold a grudge.

So, you still want to go
to the homecoming dance?

Yes!

Sorry, couch and TV.

You're gonna have
to get along without me.

Yay!

Life is so good.

I'm going to the homecoming
dance with George.

- Yay!
- Yay!

I've always wanted to do
this happy-yay jump with you.

[all] Yay!

OK, I'm just gonna say out
loud what we're all thinking:

Alex is under
a spell.

What are we gonna do
about it?

Well, she's being a positive,
upbeat member of society.

All right, then.
We'll do nothing.

Ladies and gentlemen,

please welcome
the Tribeca Prep Turkeys!

Ready? OK!

Here come the Turkeys.

Justin's got the water.

They can't win without him.

So let's applaud her.

Hey, when in doubt,
flip out, right?

Check out the clock,
check out the score!

We are the Turkeys and
we'll show you the door.

Whoo!

I wish they would put
Justin in.

- We're really far ahead.
- [buzzer sounds]

Substitution:

In for Tribeca Prep,
Justin Russo.

Uh...

Don't worry,
we're really far ahead.

Oh, my gosh!
Oh, my gosh, oh, my gosh!

Justin's finally getting the
moment he's been waiting for!

I'm so happy for him!

Happy enough to do
the happy-yay jump?

- Oh, my gosh, yes!
- [both] Yay!

[cheering]

Oh, my gosh! I get to
finally do my Justin cheer.

OK. Ready? OK!

Justin's so funny,
Justin's so cute.

Who could've guessed
he could even sh**t?

Whoo! Go Justin!
Go Justin!

Oh, my gosh,
that was so awesome.

- Yay!
- Yay!

[cheering]

Way to go, Justin,
way to go!

Way to go, Justin,
way to go!

Way to go,
Justin, way to go!

- [playing up-tempo music] -
Way to go, Justin, way to go!

Way to go...
[cheering]

Thanks to Justin Russo,

Tribeca Prep
is way, way ahead.

[buzzer sounds]

And that's the end
of the third quarter.

Yay! Go Justin!

Your cheering is really
helping the team.

And so is your music.
We're the perfect couple.

I can't wait
for the homecoming dance.

We're gonna be together
forever.

Here, I'm open,
I'm boxin'.

I'm boxin' out.

Someone set me a pick.
Set me a pick.

- I'm going. Oh, yeah.
- [cheering]

Whoo!

Gobble up those Wombats,
spit them out!

Let a mongoose eat them
with sauerkraut!

[overlapping cheers]

That wasn't very positive.

I mean, how do you think
the Wombats feel?

We're cheerleaders
for the Turkeys.

That doesn't mean we can't
be positive for everyone.

I'm positive that
that's a bad idea.

We should cheer
for both teams.

Hey, cheer associates,
you're all doing super

but how about we spread that
spirit and cheer for both teams?

That's a great idea.

No, it is not.

[scoffs]
I just love cheering.

[mouths]
Sit down! Sit!

[whistle tweets]

Oh! No time to quibble,

I saw a Turkey
double dribble.

- [whistle tweets]
- Yeah!

Here we go, Wombats,
here we go!

[both] Here we go,
Wombats, here we go!

Here we go,
Wombats, here we go!

[cheering]

Come on, George,
play for the Wombats.

- What are you doing?
- I'm being positive.

And by being positive
we have to cheer for both teams.

- No, we don't.
- Come on, band!

- Here we go, Wombats, here we go!
- [playing in tune]

[Alex] Here we go, Wombats,
here we go!

[band playing
up-tempo music]

Here we go, Wombats,
here we go!

Here we go,
Wombats, here we go!

Here we go, Wombats,
here we go!

- Here we go, Wombats...
- Stop playing!

You're rousing the opposing team
with your musical stings.

It's time to play defense!

- Defense! Come on, defense!
- Here we go, Wombats, here we go!

- Defense! Defense!
- Here we go, Wombats, here we go!

Here we go, Wombats,
here we go!

Here we go,
Wombats, here we go!

Here we go,
Wombats, here we go!

Defense! Defense!

We're from Down Under.
We got that Wombat thunder!

Whoo!

- [Alex] Whoo!
- I don't believe this. The Wombats are winning.

[gasps] See what we did?
Cheering uplifts everyone.

Well, try and uplift this:

I'm not going
to the dance with you.

and even if we don't go together
it'll be so much fun.

I can hardly wait.
[chuckles]

- What is wrong with you?
- [buzzer sounds]

- And the Wombats win.
- Yay!

- Thank you, Ms. Russo.
- Anytime. Anytime.

In this case "thank you"
means "you can go now."

As a matter of fact,
you can all go now.

Until further notice,
pep band and cheerleaders

are banned from all
sporting events.

- What?!
- That's OK!

Aww, it was fun while
it lasted, right, guys?

- [crowd] Boo! - Oh, you
are boo-tiful! I love you!

And cheer rest.

And I'm done with you.

This is too much
positivity, even for me.

Oh, look,
we're going on a walk.

Aww, look at my best friend
helping me wash up.

- You're so sweet.
- This is really hard to get off.

But, look, you're trying
so hard... Ow!

Harper, what are you doing?
That's freezing!

Oh! Welcome back.

I just love it when you
reject my hugs! Come here!

Get off! Stop.

- Why is there stuff on my face?
- I didn't do anything!

- Did you put my hair in pigtails?
- I didn't!

We lost the game, but still, what
an awesome senior year moment.

And I'll have it recorded
for the rest of my life.

- That's right. Let's check it out.
- Let's check it out.

- Here we go.
- [crowd cheering]