05x15 - In Like Larry

[bunniefuu]

( Theme song playing )

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♪ Come and knock on our door ♪

♪ We've been waiting for you ♪

♪ We've been waiting for you ♪

♪ Where the kisses are
hers and hers and his ♪

♪ Three's company too ♪

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♪ Come and dance on our floor ♪

♪ Take a step that is new ♪

♪ Take a step that is new ♪

♪ We've a loveable space
that needs your face ♪

♪ Three's company too ♪

♪ Down at our rendezvous ♪

♪ Down at our rendezvous ♪

♪ Three is company too ♪

♪ Down at our rendezvous ♪

♪ Down at our rendezvous ♪

♪ Three is company too. ♪

( Loud music playing )

( Music stops )

Hey, don't you like music?

Not in the middle
of the night, cindy.

It's 10:00 in the morning.

Oh, sure, take her side.

What is bothering you?

Yeah, you've sure been
grouchy the last couple of days.

- Grouchy? Who you callin' a grouch?!
- Not you!

Jack, what is your problem?

Janet, I'm just tired.

You know, I've been working
a swing shift all week.

I know, jack, first you were
swinging with barbara ellen,

And then... Then you shifted
over to debbie johnson.

I haven't been swinging
with anyone, you know?

All I've been doing is
working day and night

At that sleazy, little
coffee shop, remember?

Okay, jack, but you
remember, we live here, too.

How can I forget?

Now, really!

( Doorbell rings )

Will you get that, janet?

Why can't you,
jack? I mean, really.

All you have to do is
walk over to the door,

Stick out your little hand,
twist the knob, and open it up.

( Door slams )

Now you tell me: is
it all that difficult?

Well, I don't know, lemme
see if I got that straight.

What did you do? Just
walked over to the door,

Stuck out your little hand,
twisted the knob, and opened it up?

( Door slams )

I'm sorry, larry.

Cindy, you wanna
take a cr*ck at this?

I'm glad to see you. I
could use a true friend.

- ( Both shouting )
- lemme ask you a question:

How would you
like to be awakened

In the middle of the
night by these two?

You pick the night.

Larry, let me ask
you a real question:

How would you like to
be sharing an apartment

With a great, big,
fat pain in the neck?

Trouble in the house
of love? I can't believe it.

- Believe it.
- Yeah, believe it.

- Jack, you...
- Ohh!

- What're you doing?
- Following you.

Get ahead of me.

Another thing, jack,
of all the roommates...

Oh, I'm sorry.

Why did you come back?

To say I was sorry
I bumped into you.

Kitchen.

Oh, cindy, I'm sorry.

Ohh, I'm sorry I snapped at you.

Good heavens. It's just jack.

You know, I have never
seen him behave like this.

Well, janet, let's face it.

Three people, crowded into an apartment...
We're getting on each other's nerves.

You're right. He needs to
get away from us for a while.

Hey, hey, calm down. I've
never seen you like this.

You don't know what
it's like here, larry.

You've never lived
with two girls.

Don't rub it in.

I do all the shopping,
all the cooking,

But you know what
bugs me the most,

Is they take me for granted.

Well, maybe you should
move out for a while.

- Move out?
- Yeah, teach 'em a lesson.

Yeah... No, I couldn't. Those
two would be lost without me.

That's my point, buddy.

Make them sorry they
don't appreciate you.

Yeah, they'd be
sorry, all right,

When they see me
sleeping on a park bench.

- What, no money?
- Zip.

Oh, not to worry. I
think I can help you.

- You're gonna
lend me some money?
- What're you, crazy?

I just meant, you know,
you could stay at my place.

Well, where would you stay?

What's the difference?
I'll stay at the ymca, or...

Hey, I just got a flash. I
could stay in your room.

What?!

It's just a thought.

Well, I appreciate
the offer, lar,

But the girls would
never go for it.

- Oh, really?
- Not in a million years.

Hey, never hurts to ask.

No, hey, lar, save
your breath, man.

Janet, cindy, we've
gotta do something.

Our little pal out there is about this
close to having a nervous breakdown.

- Yeah.
- Yeah.

He really needs to get away.

No, you really think so?

Oh, yeah, larry, as a matter
of fact, we were just trying

To decide where he could go.

Hey, wait a minute.

If you're thinking about
my apartment, forget it.

- What a wonderful idea. Would you, lar?
- What...?

I'd say "yes" in a minute,
but where would I stay?

You could sleep in your car.

Good, I'll get my things.

My car?

No, janet, we can't do that.

Larry's just gonna have
to move down here with us.

- Down here?
- No, I couldn't.

You're right. Not a chance.

Okay, janet, but don't blame
me when they come to fit jack

For a white, canvas sport
coat with the sleeves in the back!

Ooh! Okay, you can
stay down here.

But one false move,
larry... Oh, janet.

Wait, we have another problem.

- I now, jack, right?
- Yes.

He is never gonna accept the fact
that we can manage without him.

- He'll never go for this.
- Hey, it never hurts to ask.

- Jack...
- I know, I know.

Thanks for tryin'. I'm glad
to see you're still in one piece.

- Start packing.
- Huh?

They love the
idea! It's all settled.

- It is?
- Yeah, I just told him
to start packing.

- Oh, terrific!
- Wait, hang on a second.

If mr. Furley finds out you're
stayin' here, he'll throw us all out.

- Who's gonna tell him?
- Yeah.

- Wait a minute, cindy...
- I'll go get your suitcase.

- Hey, janet...
- I'll go get your toothbrush.

- Larry, look...
- I'll go get my things.

Whoo!

Whoo!

( Phone rings )

Janet, cindy, hi...
Oh, michelle, hi.

Uh, no, larry's not here.

But, uh, if there's
anything I can do, I'm free.

Hello, michelle? Michelle?

( Knocking at door )

Janet, I knew you couldn't...

Couldn't be janet,
'cause you're mr. Furley.

I'll buy that. What're
you doin' here, jack?

( Stammers ) oh, i-i-i'm
waiting for larry.

What're you doing here?

Oh, I'm here to fix the ceiling.

Larry told me it was leaking.

When you see larry,
tell him I fixed it.

Wait a sec'. You
didn't do anything.

It's not leaking, is it?

- It's not raining now.
- That's not my fault.

Mr. Furley, I'll tell
him when I see him.

He'll probably be back soon.

I don't think so... When I
saw him earlier, he told me

A couple of chicks
stashed away someplace.

What?

I never saw larry
look happier. ( Laughs )

Said he was havin'
the time of his life!

Okay, okay, I get the point.

He was grinning like the cat
that swallowed the canary.

Thank you, mr. Furley!

( Phone rings )

( Excitedly )
larry's. Hi, janet!

( Calmly ) uh, hey, janet,
what's happening?

Yeah, listen, I'd
love to chat, but I'm...

What? You need me?

I'll be right down.

All right!

Okay, everybody, I just talked to
jack, and he's gonna come right down.

Now, cindy, remember, we don't
want jack to be worrying about us.

So act like you're
enjoying larry's company.

Right.

What do you mean, "act"?

- ( Doorbell rings )
- I'll get it.

What do you mean, "act"?

Hi, jack!

Oh, hi, uh...
- Cindy.
- Right, right.

Yeah, the little one
said you needed me.

She's in the kitchen with larry.

( Laughs ) oh, in the... Don't
tell me. Let me guess.

They're having trouble
opening up a can of beans?

Relax, the master's here.

Rack of lamb?

Larry sent out for it.

Yeah, nothin's too
good for my roomies.

Ohh.

What do you need me for?

- Dessert.
- Dessert?

Well, it's short notice,
but I can fix you guys...

No, no, no, jack, no.

We just need some
more room in the freezer

For the baked alaska
that larry bought.

Oh, that's right. Hey,
buddy, would you mind

Uh, storing your
meatballs in my freezer?

Thanks, pal.

- I appreciate it.
- Oh, sure, yeah.

How's it going, jack?

Fine, great, won... Wonderful,
wonderful, wonderful.

Listen, in fact, I don't have
that much time to chat...

Well, we don't want to keep you.

Well, maybe a minute or two.

( All chatting )

Well, how was your day... Larry?

Oh, not too bad. I
only had one customer.

That's terrible!

Yeah, this guy wanders
onto the car lot,

Looking for something
real cheap he can take

To the beach with the top down.

So, what did he end up with?

My secretary. ( Laughs )

( All laughing )

Oh, larry's so funny.

He keeps us
laughing all the time.

- Yeah.
- I used to say
some pretty humorous...

You know what else,
jack? He fit right in.

Oh, yeah, it's like he's been
living here all the time.

Well, actually, i...
Well, you know why?

That's because you and cindy
are such wonderful roommates.

Yeah, I know what you
mean. We were always close.

What's this?

Well, I was gonna
save it for later,

But, hey, why wait
to say, "thank you"?

A bottle of perfume.
Larry, that's so sweet.

Thank you.

- It's nothing. And janet...
- Hmm?

Got a little
something for you, too.

What is it? Oh, larry!
A ticket to the ballet.

I've been dying to go!

Uh-huh, you can go tonight.

Well, thank you.

That's really so sweet of you.

You're welcome.

Wow, what a dinner.
Presents and everything!

Really. Say, jack, would you like
to join us? Larry bought plenty.

Oh, no, no. Hey, I
better skedaddle.

I've got something very tasty waiting
for me upstairs, if you know what I mean.

You devil.

Well, when you
got it, you got it.

Janet: jack!

Yes?

You forgot your meatballs.

- Oh, hi, jack.
- Hi.

Hey, you look like you
just lost your last friend.

Both of them.

Oh, did you girls have a spat?

I'd really rather not talk about
it now, if you don't mind, okay?

Hey, all kidding aside,
don't be so depressed, jack.

On a beautiful night like
this, the moon is bright,

There's a smell of
jasmine in the air,

Mr. Furley...

Listen, you're young, you've got
your whole career ahead of you.

You've got a family
that loves you.

Look at me. I've got
none of those things.

But am I unhappy?
You're darn right, I am!

It's not fair! ( Weeping )

I'm on my way.

- Have a good time.
- Thank you.

- Janet, I miss jack.
- Hmm?

I know, cindy. Me, too.

Hey, janet, you got a screwdriver
around here anywhere?

Oh, yeah, larry, um, top
drawer, right by the fridge.

Okay, have a wonderful
time at the ballet tonight.

Thanks again.

Larry's going to try
and fix my antique clock.

You better watch out. He
fixed our blender one time.

- What happened?
- It flew out the window.

- What?
- Oh, I forgot my ticket.

( Weeping )

Mr. Furley, hey, don't feel bad.

What have I got to
feel good about?

Well, look at you. You've got...

You've got...

Isn't the moon bright tonight,

And there's the smell
of jasmine in the air?

That's not jasmine.
That's our garbage.

It's too late for me, jack,
but there's still time for you.

Now you run upstairs and straighten
things out with cindy and janet.

- Maybe later...
- Not later, now!

Friends are just
too hard to come by.

I oughta know...
I don't have any.

( Weeps )

- Oh, ja-janet, janet.
- Hi, jack.

Listen, uh, I've gotta talk
to you and cindy right now.

Oh, I'm sorry, it'll
have to be cindy.

I'm already late. See you!

Yeah...

What's wrong with it?

The bell doesn't work.

I think I can fix it.

Cindy: larry, maybe
you shouldn't do it.

Larry: come on, cindy,
what's the sense

Of having it if
you can't use it?

Cindy: hey, watch those hands!

Larry: would you relax?

I'll have your bell
ringing in no time.

Larry, get your hands off her...

Clock... Clock?

Do you wanna fix it?

Uh, no, thanks, pal. I got
enough time on my hands.

Get it? Time on my...

Speaking of time, look at how
late I am. I'm very late... I gotta go.

- Jack!
- No, I'm sorry, excuse me.

I didn't mean to, uh... I got
people to see and places to go.

'Bye, I'll see you later.

Jack's been acting so strange.

Larry, maybe I
should go after him.

No, no, no, cindy, don't.
He just needs to unwind.

As a matter of fact,
now that we're all alone,

I think we both could use a
little bit of unwinding, hmm?

Maybe you're right. I'll slip into
something more comfortable.

Thank you!

Yee-ha.

( Hums quietly )

( Laughs )

( Humming )

Ta-da!

Eh.

Oh, cindy, where are you?

Cindy: in bed.

Good night! See
ya in the morning.

What? Think, larry, think.

♪ Happy birthday to me,
happy birthday to me ♪

♪ Happy birthday,
dear larry, happy bir... ♪

Oh, larry, it's your birthday.

You found out.

Why didn't you tell us?

Well, I didn't want to disturb
anybody's plans on my account.

I just thought I'd celebrate
without troubling anybody.

By myself. Alone.

Oh, larry, no.

Oh, then you'll join me
in a glass of champagne?

Do you think there's
enough room? ( Laughs )

Oh, I'm sorry.

That's all right. There's
still some left here.

Here we go. All right.

To... Us.

How would you like
a special surprise?

Try me.

( Gasps )

( Chanting cheer ) gimme an
h, and an a, and a p-p-y!

A happy birthday to our guy!

Yea, larry! Yee-ha!

Well, good night!

Wait, wait one second here.

Is that all I get
for my birthday?

Oh, of course not.

And a t, and an e,
and an a, and an m!

Yea, team!

Larry, larry, let's go! Whee!

Whoo, whoo! Choo-choo,
choo-choo, choo-choo, choo-choo!

Okay, okay, that's enough.

The end of the line.

Don't you like my cheers?

I love them. Eighty-five
cheers, my, my.

Boy, you must be thirsty.
Why don't you sit down?

Sit over here, come on.
Have some more champagne.

All right, hon'? There we go.

Oh, I don't know if I should.
Too much champagne makes me...

Drink up.

Makes you what?

( Hiccups ) hiccup.

( Hiccups, gasps )

I'm sorry.

It's okay, I think I know
what will help, however.

- You do?
- Yes.

What you do is,
take a deep breath...

Hold it for as long
as you possibly can.

That's great. I'm going to bed.

Thanks for the shower.

( Doorbell rings )

- Hi, cindy.
- Hi, mr. Furley.

Where's jack? I got somethin'
here that's really gonna help him.

Jack, he's... He's not here.

( Door slams )

- Then who's that?
- Uh, janet.

- Hello, everybody.
- Who's this?

- Janet.
- Then who's in the bedroom?

Jack.

I thought you said
janet was in the bedroom.

I thought you said that.

There's something very
funny going on around here.

- ( Hiccupping )
- what?

I'm sorry, mr. Furley, I seem to
have the hiccups. I need some water.

Now, that can be a
very serious disorder.

Here, put this over your
head and breathe deeply.

Like this, I'll show you.

Just breathe in and
out. ( Breathing heavily )

Be careful not to
hyperventilate...

Or you'll...

You'll pass out.

- Oh, what happened?
- He was curing my hiccups.

Oh, uh, hi, mr. Furley.

Oh, my, jack, I hope
we didn't wake you.

Jack, you're just the
guy I was lookin' for.

Well, I was just
getting into bed.

Yeah, I got somethin'
here I wanna read ya.

And it wouldn't hurt
you girls to listen, either.

( Clears throat )
"what is a friend?

A friend is there
through thick and thin.

A friend is someone who
never buts in. A friend..."

Hey, hey, what's goin' on here?

Uh-oh.

You were just getting into bed?

No, no, you see, no...

Oh, oh, oh!

Mr. Furley, I just can't
believe that you are thinking...

You should be
ashamed of yourself!

What?

All this time, I
thought I was renting

From a very decent-minded
man, and now I find the truth!

I can't believe you're
thinking what you're thinking.

How do you know
what I'm thinking?

It's written all over your
face! I can hardly look!

Shame on you, shame
on you, shame on you!

Now wait a minute, I just came
in here to drop off a book!

I didn't see anything. I couldn't
see anything, even if I wanted to.

I'm nearsighted.

Come to think of it, my
ears aren't that good either.

What? I don't know anything!

Now, no one's gonna
talk me out of it!

( Door slams )

Ohh!

Oh, janet, that was wonderful.

- Wonderful? That was incredible.
- Oh, look at you.

Maybe I can get some sleep now.

Oh, larry, you didn't
finish your champagne.

I didn't finish anything.

Good night.

Good night.

- Well...
- Yeah.

- Well...
- Well.

Uh, if you won't be needing
me for anything else,

I'd better be going.

Yeah. Oh, jack?

- Yeah?
- Um, uh, um... Good night.

- Yeah, night.
- Good night.

- Jack?
- I don't wanna go!

Oh, we don't want you go to!

- No...
- Well, why didn't you say so?

Why didn't you say so?

Well, it seemed like you were
having such a good time with larry.

Oh, jack, sometimes
you can be so dumb.

Cindy, that's the nicest
thing you've ever said to me.

- We really missed you.
- Oh, yeah.

Oh, I really missed you.

Well, gosh, now that
that's all settled,

How about we go to bed?

That sounds like a good idea.

Janet, janet, what about larry?

Oh, jack, please, it's so late. Why
don't we worry about him in the morning?

Good idea.

I thought you
said you missed me!

You missed me!

( Phone ringing )

- Hello?
- Hello!

Chrissy, hi, how are you?

Polly, you sound
just like janet.

I am janet.

So, what are you doing
at polly kelly's house?

I'm not.

Yeah, but I called polly kelly.

Chrissy, honey, you must've made a
mistake and dialed the wrong number.

Ohh.

So how're things going?

Terrible.

Really? What's the matter?

Well, I called polly
kelly, and I got you.

( Phone rings )

Hello?

Hello, this is polly
kelly. May I speak to janet?

Oh, I'll go get her.

No, no, hey... ( Laughs )

( Theme music playing )

John ritter: three's company was
videotaped in front of a studio audience.

( Theme music playing )